Posted tagged ‘Harbaugh jokes’
December 13, 2016
Seattle Seahawks CB Richard Sherman, angry at the NFL’s scheduling of Thursday night games, referred to them as a “Poopfest.” Would that be the title of a potential 49ers Browns game?
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As fans wait for the end of 49ers season, remember that SF was sure they could win without Jim Harbaugh. And they have, 6 times in 2 years.
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Jim Harbaugh told Michigan players rumors of him returning to NFL are “lies spread by our enemies”. Will he next accuse Putin of being an Ohio State fan?
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Lebron James wore a discreet safety pin on his lapel for the SI Sportsman of the Year cover. You may not like Lebron on the court, you may not agree with his politics. But the guy is a great role model for celebrities who want to express political views with class. IMHO.
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An American Airlines flight from Charlotte to San Francisco diverted with a mechanical problem to Phoenix for 5 1/2 hours. No word on compensation for passengers, especially on the most important question – “Do we get extra frequent flier miles?
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From Bill Littlejohn : “Jennifer Lawrence is in a bit of hot water after relating a story in which she used sacred Hawaiian rocks to scratch her itching derriere. .Butt Fumble II?”
But hey, maybe she just wants to date Mark Sanchez.
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#GarthBrooks will apparently not be performing at #Trump‘s inaugural. Guess he doesn’t have friends in THAT low of places.
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So how many reasons did #RickPerry give @realDonaldTrump to choose him as Secretary of Energy?
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So why did Trump appoint Rick Perry Secretary of Energy?
Because there was no Secretary of Arithmetic?
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President Obama today signed the “21st Century Cures Act”, a $6.3 billion bipartisan bill to fight cancer and streamline the FDA approval process for drugs and medical device. It also includes $1 billion for states to fight substance abuse and drug addiction.
Waiting for the Trump rebuttal.
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At Trump Tower, Kanye West met w/ President-Elect Donald Trump this am to discuss becoming “an ambassador of sorts.”
At the Onion offices “We give up.”
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No joke. The Trump transition team has asked ffor the DOE to “provide a list of all Department of Energy employees or contractors” who have “worked on climate change policy.”
We throw the term McCarthyism around, but this time it may have nothing to do with Russia. #Scary
(if mean bitch Karma wants to unleash a tsunami in South Florida, a good place to aim at would be Mar A Lago)
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Someone is running for President in 2020…. Ohio Gov. John Kasich rejected the so-called “heartbeat bill” which would have banned abortions after about 6 weeks. He did sign a bill preventing abortions after 20 weeks. #verysmallmercies
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In Oklahoma, a law passed this summer will require all public restrooms by January 2018 to have anti-abortion signs posted. Many businesses oppose the measure, not for the message, but because there is no funding and they say it is an unfair mandate that will cost them a total of $2.3 million for the signs. #priorities.
Categories: basketball jokes, football jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, kanye trump jokes, Lebron jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
March 3, 2016
Peyton Manning, in a speech last night at the Florida Forum “Many of you have probably heard that I have a significant announcement to make, so I thought I’d go ahead and make it with all of you here tonight. Papa John’s is offering 50 percent off tonight through Friday.”
Someday Manning may have the only funeral where they hand out pizza coupons.
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South Africa’s highest court has dismissed Oscar Pistorius’s appeal against his murder conviction, so he could be facing a minimum 15-year jail sentence. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.
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Anyone who thought the GOP campaign couldn’t go any lower? I think this CNN headline might mean we just hit bottom.”Donald Trump defends size of his penis.”
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John Kasich isn’t someone I would vote for, but I still think he’s a capable human being. Watching him on the margins of the GOP debate recalls an anecdote about Adlai Stevenson in the 1956 presidential campaign: A woman called out “Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!” Stevenson called back “That’s not enough, madam, we need a majority!”
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So if the GOP is really serious about stopping Trump, it should be noted that in Alaska the Donald got Sarah Palin’s endorsement. And the winner was Ted Cruz. #coincidence?
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Now Mitt Romney apparently is focused mostly on keeping Trump from having 1,237 delegates, the number he needs to secure the nomination, so that the GOP can block the Donald at the convention.
Well, this ought to do wonders for convincing potential Trump voters that the establishment isn’t rigged against them..
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Mitt Romney just attacked Donald Trump for dishonesty and pointed to Trump’s “greed,” “showing off”, and “misogyny,” Hey wait, aren’t those real GOP values?
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Mitt Romney called Donald Trump a “phony” and a “fraud” who would hand the election to the Dems in November. So which Mitt was talking? The moderate governor of Mass., or the “severe conservative” who ran in 2012?
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An Australian writer, Helen Garner, got what she thought was a spam email with “good news” and saying somewhat at Yale needed her phone number. It turned out to be real; she had won a $150,000 writing prize.
And a whole lot of spammers just got a new idea.
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Scott Kelly grew two inches while he was in space. And wonder how many men are telling women, “Well, I used to be an astronaut.”
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Jim Harbaugh and Tennessee coach Butch Jones are now in a Twitter battle, where Jones went after Michigan for practicing in Florida, and Harbaugh told him to “focus on his own program.”
So how can we get a game between the Wolverines and Volunteers? #ratings #whatsyourdeal?
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LeBron James is getting some criticism for working out with Dwayne Wade during a couple off-days, especially as the Heat also are probably a playoff team. But really, who expects Miami to be around long enough in the postseason for it to matter?
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Jeb Bush is trying to make a difference and redeem his status within the GOP. So if he’s really serious can Jeb endorse Trump?
Has someone told the #Thunder that hockey has three periods, basketball has four quarters? #Warriors #NBA
Categories: baseball jokes, debate jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cruz jokes, debate jokes, GOP jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Mitt jokes, Romney jokes, Rubio jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
February 22, 2016
A new study says that coffee may lead to a lower risk of developing cirrhosis from drinking too much alcohol. Well, heck, that calls for an Irish coffee.
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Texas A&M got an upset win at the buzzer against #Kentucky in OT. Wonder how John #Calipari will discipline his players – make them go to class?
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LSU men’s basketball coach Johnny Jones benched star Ben Simmons for the start of tonight’s game against Tennessee because “we had to address some academic stuff with him earlier in the week.” Simmons entered the game after 4 1/2 minutes. 4 1/2 minutes?! Yeah, that will teach him.
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Barry Bonds today “God knows I’m a Hall of Famer.” But wonder how long baseball writers will still think -“The Hall of Fame is reserved for those who played the game with integrity, like Gaylord Perry.”
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Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh is being criticized for taking his football team to Florida for their allowed 20 hours a week practice during spring break. NCAA president Mark Emmert – “They’re having a hard time being students and doing what students want to do.”
Uh, let’s see, the option was staying in wintry Ann Arbor or going to Florida for a week, with free time after practice. And Emmert made his comment with a straight face?
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Marissa Mayer says she can still turn Yahoo around. From one ditch into another ditch?
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Jeb Bush suspended his Presidential campaign. Shocking many people who couldn’t see proof he was actually running one.
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Charles Koch says he agrees with Bernie Sanders that the “system is often rigged to help the privileged few at the expense of everyone else.” Well, and Koch and this brother ought to know. They helped rig it.
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Ted Cruz told his supporters tonight “We have made history.” Trouble is, most of this supporters don’t believe in history. (or math. )
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For the latest contest entry into the “How low can you go?” in this election, I give you Donald Trump’s tweet today:. “I wonder if President Obama would have attended the funeral of Justice Scalia if it were held in a Mosque? Very sad that he did not go! ” #nottheonion
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So Trump likes to denigrate education by saying we spend more per capita than any other country already. But then when he talks about about the military he’s not only okay with spending more than everyone else, he wants to spend more?
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The Georgia Senate passed a bill that that would protect people and organizations from “discriminatory action” by the government, if they opt out of serving any couple – gay or straight — if they cite a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction regarding marriage.
So what happens when say, someone decides not to serve a couple “living in sin,” or a divorced couple? Or an unwed mother like Bristol Palin?
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From T.C. “Donald Trump reiterated his plan to build a border wall between the US and Mexico. In related news, Las Vegas oddsmakers have just installed Mexico as the favorites in the Olympic pole-vault competition.”
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bonds jokes, Bush jokes, Cruz jokes, drinking jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, sanders jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
February 12, 2016
Mets reliever Jenrry Mejia has been permanently suspended by MLB after his third PED suspension, the all since April 2015. Being caught three times in a year? That’s not a suspension for PEDs, that’s a suspension for stupidity.
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Jim Harbaugh and his staff racked up $136,000.in private jet costs during a two week recruiting window this January. And if Michigan beats Ohio State, school officials and alums will consider that a bargain.
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Louisiana is facing a $940 million deficit, New Gov. John Bel Edwards has said without tax increases, there will be massive layoffs and canceled classes at state campuses. Meaning that students attending those universities “will receive a grade of incomplete, many students will not be able to graduate and student athletes across the state at those schools will be ineligible to play next semester. That means you can say farewell to college football next fall.”
Okay, not sure his future political aspirations, but THIS is a man who knows how to play hardball.
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Bryce Harper, asked about a potential $400 million contract, responded “don’t sell me short.” So does that mean Harper is expecting to be a Yankee or Dodger some day?
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Regarding the Mavericks surfing championship. I’m all for choice but how many sports make moms wish their kids did some safer sport like football?
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The Parents of former Jackie Robinson West baseball players have sued Little League and ESPN, saying they knew some children might be ineligible but “chose to ignore and/or deliberately conceal these facts in order to garner higher ratings, publicity, and money.”
So even though the team was caught cheating with residency, but still got a White House and MLB World Series trip out of the deal, this suit says they were wronged. And we wonder why Americans hate lawyers.
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Kanye West now says about his tirade against Taylor Swift that “bitch” is a term of endearment. Right, I’m sure he calls Kim that all the time….
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Just to prove the U.S. doesn’t have a monopoly on political circuses, I bring you this story from Japan, where the first MP who tried to take paternity leave has resigned. After a magazine broke the story that during his wife’s pregnancy, he had an affair with a bikini model….
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A Florida woman was charged with child neglect after her dad found her naked, drunk (.305 blood alcohol level, not a typo) and unconscious while she was babysitting a young child. #ifonlyshewasarmed
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In San Francisco, a place called Equator Coffee was selling cups of coffee made from Finca Sophia beans for $15. And they sold out. And we wonder why other countries hate us?
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Former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore dropped out of the 2016 Presidential race. Shocking millions of Americans who had no idea he was running.
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So Marco Rubio, who has spoken only eight times on the Senate floor since January, 2015, still spends $60,000 a year for a speechwriter. Isn’t this like Donald Trump employing a fact-checker?
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The Pope today in Cuba had a meeting with the head of the Russian Orthodox church, their first conversation in almost 1,000 years. So maybe there’s hope for Democrats and Republicans.
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Barry Manilow, 72, has had to cancel concerts after he was told not to speak or sing for a while after throat surgery. “What a shame” said millions of women and gay men and about three of their spouse
From Marc Ragovin “So W will be campaigning for Jeb in South Carolina. I hope for Jeb’s sake he shows more brotherly love than Eli Manning.”
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: football jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Kanye West jokes, Louisiana jokes, manilow jokes, Mavericks jokes, Rubio jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 17, 2015
For as rough as that game ending was in Ann Arbor, a game-winning touchdown after a blocked punt with 10 seconds to go, Jim Harbaugh still has to be waking up tomorrow thinking “At least I’m not still coaching the 49ers.”
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And here Harbaugh thought his kicking nightmares were over when he left Stanford and Jordan Williamson.
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San Francisco rents are so high that one female software engineer has written about the fact that she now lives in a VW Bus. What will be even scarier is when she decides to rent half the bus out on AirBNB.
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So some KC Royals fans are starting a petition to have Joe Buck removed from the ALCS because they say he is biased against their team. SF Giants fans are laughing. They know Buck is biased against any team that isn’t the Cardinals.
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While the ALCS is moving to Toronto for game three, there won’t be a game on Sunday. So we won’t have the dilemma – would MLB still insist on “God Bless America?”
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Jeb Bush and Donald Trump called each other “pathetic” yesterday. It was a rare time they were both right.
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The Oklahoma Sooners flight to Manhattan, KS for their football game against KSU today was delayed over 8 hours. Now I know travel agents have a different perspective, but really? The DRIVE is only about 4 1/2 hours
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As expected, Zack Greinke has opted out of his contract with the Dodgers.(he ONLY has 3 years and $71 million left, and wants a longer deal.)
Not sure about 5 years to any 32 year old pitcher. But SF has a record as a good home for head cases.
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Mike, a combat dog that became a service animal for an Army veteran was shot and killed by a bicyclist in Wyoming who said the dog threatened him. Waiting for the NRA to say “If only the dog had been armed.”
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Memphis defeated Ole Miss today to move to 6-0. Wow. Memphis has a college football team?
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USC played Notre Dame Saturday . Bringing up the age-old question for many American football fans – “Can both teams lose?”
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Lindsay Lohan is now saying in “In #2020 I may run for president.” And somewhere Jon Stewart is thinking “The universe REALLY doesn’t want me to retire.”
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US Airways flight 1939 took off Friday night from San Francisco to Philadelphia, the last US Airways flight ever before their merger with American Airlines. Poignant night for many fliers – one less airline to blame.
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TBS host Casey Stern was caught dropping an f-bomb on air after the Mets’ game 1 NLCS win over the Cubs today. Can only imagine what some of the Michigan broadcasters said away from the microphone after the end of the MSU game.
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Apparently Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, George Pataki, Lindsey Graham and Rick Santorum are all spending more money than they are getting in donations so could end up dropping out of the 2016 Presidential race soon.
With the possible exception of Paul, and maybe Huckabee, who’s donating to ANY of them?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, airine jokes, GOP jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Michigan jokes, punt jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
May 12, 2015
Dennis Norfleet, Michigan’s all-time leader in kick returns and kick return yards has been dismissed from the program over a disciplinary issue with new coach Jim Harbaugh. Shall we start a pool with which SEC team Norfleet will end up?
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Jim Harbaugh and Michigan have self-reported four minor violations to the NCAA. One of them, that he sent an autographed helmet and jersey to a high school auction benefiting a scholarship fund. (Which apparently Jim didn’t know was illegal.) Really good to see that the NCAA is focused on the important things.
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Verizon is buying AOL. In hopes that finally two wrongs do make a right?
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So apparently in yesterday’s apparent road rage incident involving George Zimmerman, both Zimmerman and the man who allegedly shot him -resulting in minor injuries -had guns with them at the time. And Darwin is thinking “Missed a two-fer by THAT much”
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Tom Brady’s agent has accused Ted Wells of running a biased “sting” investigation on “Deflategate”, and Wells has fired back defending himself and the report. I’m wondering how long until one of the fired Patriots’ employees decides to supplement his severance pay with a book deal…..#whenyoureinaholestopdigging?
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Today President Obama’s Tuesday fast-track trade deal was stalled in the Senate….by Democrats. And over at Fox News heads are exploding. #dowehavetopickaside?
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Just got a pre-sale notice for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular. So is it time for stores to start decorating?
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The U.K. Daily Mail is reporting that the real reason Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods split up is that she found out he cheated on her. “I can’t believe Tiger would do that” said nobody.
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A woman gave birth on an AIr Canada flight to Japan, and said she hadn’t even known she was pregnant. Another graduate of “Abstinence only” education?
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Donald Trump has apparently TRADEMARKED the slogan “Make America Great Again” for his Presidential campaign. Is he trying to top “Mission Accomplished?”
Per Duane Kuiper, #SFGiants are hitting 5 for 26 with the bases loaded in 2015. Matt #Duffy with the bases loaded is 3 for 4. #McGehee who?
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The SF Giants have a much maligned farm system. But starting today. Pitcher Chris Heston, catcher Buster Posey, first baseman Brandon Belt, second baseman Joe Panik, shortshop Brandon Crawford, and third baseball Matt Duffy. Every single one of them home-grown talent.
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MLB has tightened security for its game balls after Deflategate. Angels pitcher C.J. Wilson commented “Obviously, there’s not as much that you can do to baseballs. I mean, you can’t change the density of the baseball at any point — unless you dunk them in water. Then they’re going to be 9 ounces, and everyone’s going to blow their arms out.” Hmm. wonder how he knew that?
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Lindsay Lohan, who still has more than half of her 250 mandated community service hours to go from a 2013 reckless driving conviction, apparently missed her first day Tuesday at a Brooklyn preschool. This could really put her in jeopardy with Hollywood’s “37 strikes and you’re out” policy.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: deflategate jokes, George Zimmerman jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, NCAA jokes, SF Giants jokes, Tiger jokes, Tom Brady jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
March 25, 2015
Still so impressed by Mo’ne Davis’s gracious response to the baseball playing idiot who posted an offensive tweet about her. And my sense is we will be hearing about Mo’ne and what she accomplishes in her life for a long time. As opposed to what’s his name.
Remember “Jon and Kate Plus 8?” Now former reality star Jon Gosselin says he is considering running for the state legislature in Pennsylvania. Gosselin hasn’t said what party, which will no doubt set up a heated battle between Dems and the GOP. “You take him, no YOU take him.”
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GOP Rep. Peter King just referred to Ted Cruz as a “carnival barker.” Prompting calls for an apology. From carnival barkers.
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A Detroit TV reporter who asked Jim Harbaugh if he is worth the 7-year $38 million contract he signed. And the new Michigan coach responded “No.” You start seeing why Harbaugh is back at the college level. He’s too honest to be an NFL coach.
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Indiana Senator Dan Coats retired in 1998. Evan Bayh ran for and won his seat. Then Bayh retired in 2010 and Coats came back and won the seat again. Now Coats is retiring once more. All eyes are on Bayh. If Evan runs will he offer a job as a special consultant to Brett Favre?
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At Miller Park this year, the Milwaukee Brewers will sell “Deep Fried Nachos” – beef and beans, rolled in crushed Doritos, fried on a stick and topped with sour cream and cheese. Fans can presumably buy a package including Nacho sticks, a beer, and a turn at the defibrillator.
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You cannot make this “stuff” up. Ted Cruz, who in announcing his candidacy for the Presidency said Monday that he would work to repeat Obamacare, said Tuesday that because his wife is leaving her Goldman Sachs job and losing her insurance that he will sign up for Obamacare.
(as my friend Ian reminds us “You do not like them. SO you say. Try them! Try them! And you may. Try them and you may I say.)
Wisconsin men’s basketball forward Sam Dekker on coach Bo Ryan’s game plan. “We try not to do dumb stuff.” So if the Badgers win it all this year, maybe Ryan could retire and run for Congress?
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Miss Universe Japan, who was apparently born and raised in Nagasaki, is being criticized by some as not Japanese enough because she is biracial. (Mom is Japanese, dad is African-American.) Out of habit, Donald Trump is demanding to see her birth certificate.
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The NFL has announced they are planning a “golden” celebration all year for the upcoming 50th Super Bowl. And of course to attend the game, SERIOUS gold will be required.
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Jason Collins testified today against a bill in Indiana that would allow business owners in the state to deny service to same-sex couples for religious reasons. So will the bill also allow hotel owners to demand to see marriage licenses for couples booking a room? Or proof of being a married couple of childbearing age for Viagra prescriptions? For starters?
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Sad news about Germanwings (4U) 9525. These airline crashes provoke such different reactions: Friends and families are devastated, the travel industry tries to reassure other travelers, and CNN and media are trying not to appear thankful for the ratings boost.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, gay marriage jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Ted Cruz jokes, Wisconsin jokes
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March 4, 2015
Jim Harbaugh apparently stopped to help two women who were injured in a car accident on the interstate in Michigan this afternoon. Kudos to Jim, but makes sense, after dealing with 49ers management Harbaugh probably found a car wreck easier to deal with than a train wreck.
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Sweet Briar college has announced that for financial reasons, they are shutting down at the end of the academic year. What a shame. No doubt some SEC school would have offered the college $1 million to play them in football.
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Edward Snowden’s lawyer says he that Snowden wants to return to the United States if he’s guaranteed a fair trial. Sounds like someone’s had enough of living in Russia.
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During the Aaron Hernandez trial today, a maid testified at his murder trial that she saw him “messing with” the security camera in his basement the day after the killing. You do again have to wonder, as stupid as Hernandez seems to be, how did he stay out of jail for so long?
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The SF Chronicle has reported that Jim Harbaugh exhibits have been removed from the 49ers museum at Levi’s Stadium. Guess Jed York wants fans to remember the halcyon days of Mike Nolan and Mike Singletary.
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Do they have online medical schools now or something? Dr. David Samadi, on Fox & Friends last weekend. “Now we have crack babies coming in because pregnant women are smoking this whole marijuana business.” #facepalm
(I looked it up, Dr. Samadi is an expert on prostate cancer…. Figures.)
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Hillary Clinton apparently used a private email address instead of a government address while she was secretary of state. Which probably translates to “same lack of security, different hackers.”
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Here’s what I really don’t get on the Hillary Clinton email story. Okay. so she must have sent tens of thousands of emails, at least, in four years. And if it was such a big deal on what account she used, somehow none of her recipients saw fit to make an issue of it at the time?
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Maryland Child Protective Services will now keep a file open on two parents after they were found responsible for ‘unsubstantiated’ child neglect. This for letting their 10 and 6 year old children walk together by themselves a mile home from the park. If only they had just let their kids play at home with guns….
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Seven players were ejected after a bench clearing fight during last night’s Texas-Baylor men’s basketball game. The schools may review the tape for possible further discipline, and their football programs may review the tape for possible recruiting
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After Billy Bean visited the Mets clubhouse, Daniel Murphy spoke at length to the NY Daily News about his feelings. “I disagree with the lifestyle. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love a teammate who is gay.” And he added “And I completely understand why someone who believes it is not a choice, that you’re born with it, would take issue with my beliefs, that it is a lifestyle.”
Ought to be very interesting what kind of service Murphy gets in restaurants and from flight attendants this year. And guessing the guy is NEVER going to play 2nd for San Francisco.
(Have no problem with differing beliefs, but what WAS Daniel thinking?. Might be hard for a team right now to sign an openly gay player, but it’s easy NOT to sign a mid-level player who will alienate any significant part of a fan base.)
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New Oakland SS Marcus Semien hit a home run of Madison Bumgarner today in the team’s spring training opener against the SF Giants. And followed that with another home run and an RBI single. If this keeps up,Semein can count on the A’s trading him midseason.
From Neal, on ISIS threatening Twitter CEO and employees for not allowing their posts: “They destroy ancient statues and artifacts but they want Twitter..
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Aaron Hernandez jokes, Daniel Murphy jokes, email jokes, Harbaugh jokes, helicopter parents jokes, Hillary Clinton email, Janice Hough, Mets jokes, Sweet Briar jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
February 18, 2015
GM Trent Baalke on Jim Harbaugh: “We’ve moved on…. I feel very good about the direction we’re headed and I’m sure he does as well.” Yeah, actually it wouldn’t surprise me if Harbaugh feels VERY good about the direction in which the 49ers are headed…..
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So in Boston, they are offering free Red Sox tickets to residents who help shovel show away from fire hydrants. If New York gets another storm they are thinking of a different strategy, anyone who doesn’t help with the snow will get free Knicks tickets.
The beagle that won “Best in Show” at the Westminster Dog Show, and thus became “America’s Dog”, is actually Canadian. Another immigrant taking something away from Americans. I blame Obama.
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A New Jersey high school teacher has been indicted by a grand jury for allegedly having for sex with 6 different students. 6 students?! So clearly we do have a serious problem in our schools with overcrowding.
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Browns coach Mike Pettine just said of Johnny Manziel’s issues, that “we had the same information everyone else in the league had. It turns out to be a deeper-rooted thing than we thought.” Is Cleveland planning on changing their mascot to an ostrich?
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Mississippi just passed the “Jesus Take the Wheel” act, which would exempt drivers of mid-sized church buses (up to 30 passengers) from having a commercial driver’s license. Well, this is one way to get more people praying on the road.
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Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce from Rick Salomon for the THIRD time. And this is the type of marriage some conservatives are working so hard to defend?
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United Airlines plans to slightly increase capacity this year. And apparently 50% of the growth will come from the installation of “slim line” seats on 450 planes. Will United be installing these additional seats on their aircraft with a shoehorn?
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Some are criticizing Joe Biden for putting his hands on Ash Carter’s wife’s shoulders. And really, it wasn’t very Presidential of him. Clearly Joe should have also given her a neck massage.
In Orlando, a woman was arrested when she walked naked down a residential street and stopped traffic by masturbating in public. Some Americans responded to this story with shock, others with “that’s Florida,” and Bostonians with “You can walk outside without a coat on?”
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Scott Walker says that criticizing him for dropping out of college during his senior year is “elitist.” I think I like Sarah Palin’s “higher calling” better.
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Little Caesar’s is offering a new deep dish pizza which is not just topped with pepperoni and back, its crust is wrapped in bacon. Does it come with free sides of statins and beta-blockers?
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From Marc Ragovin. “I would put more stock in A-Rod’s letter of apology to Yankees fans if he hadn’t written it in disappearing ink.
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From T.C. Handwriting experts have analyed A-Rod’s written apology and concluded that he writes like a girl and has a massive ego. So does this mean he had his ex-squeeze Madonna pen his apology for him?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Boston jokes, Florida jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Manziel jokes, Mississippi jokes, New Jersey jokes, snow jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
January 20, 2015
ESPN reports that 11 of 12 game balls allotted to the Patriots for the AFC Championship game were found to be underinflated by two pounds of air (PSI) Out of a required 12.5-13.5 pounds. The report adds that the league is “disappointed … angry … distraught.” So that makes the entire NFL honorary Packers fans?
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Many think “deflate-gate” is ludicrous because the Patriots wouldn’t need to have cheated to beat the Colts. Of course, Nixon sure didn’t need to cheat to beat McGovern.
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Seahawks vs Patriots. A lot of people just really don’t care who wins the Super Bowl. At least Katy Perry will give millions of men two reasons to watch.
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Jim Harbaugh has hired his son, 25, as a coach. Of course Michigan fans don’t care if Harbaugh puts his dog on the payroll, as long as he can beat Ohio State.
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From Bill Littlejohn: “A large number of Seahawk fans left the stadium and were not around for Sunday’s wild finish.Thus, only 775,000 will claim that they were there to see it.”
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68 Stanford students shut down the San Mateo bridge during Monday’s commute. They were protesting Ferguson, as well as “state-sponsored and U.S.-sponsored violence in Mexico and Palestine.” Have no problem with their free speech in tying all those diverse things together, but thinking if you want to win people to your side, keeping them stuck in their cars after a long day of work doesn’t seem to be the best way to do it.
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Donald Trump says he is giving “serious thought” to another Presidential run. This may be the first time that “Donald Trump” and “serious thought” have been used in the same sentence.
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What’s the point of a long rebuttal to the #SOTU? When the basic message is simply. “What he said was all wrong”?
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So apparently some people are doing a “Nationwide Boycott of the SOTU” where they will take pictures of themselves turning their back on President Obama. Aren’t some of these the same people who are unhappy that we no longer do the Pledge of Allegiance each morning in school? – “One nation, INDIVISIBLE…..”
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Hope Solo just had domestic violence charges dropped against her, now allegedly she was almost arrested again for being “belligerent” when her former NFL player husband Jerramy Stevens was arrested for DUI in L.A. Who says female athletes will never be the equal of men?
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Why there is no satire. MLB just put Fred Wilpon in charge of the MLB finance committee. For the uninitiated, he is the owner of the Mets, whose performance should in and of itself question his ability to manage money, but he also lost about $700 million investing in a Ponzi scheme run by Bernie Madoff. And Wilpon’s defense to avoid criminal charges himself…. he had no clue what was going on…. #facepalm
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Kim Kardashian has a book coming out in May, titled “Selfish.” Does this really even need a punchline?
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MLB is proposing that pitchers now be ready to throw a pitch 30 seconds before all between-inning commercial breaks end. Hitters would need to be ready 20 seconds in advance. This would supposedly shorten all games that are not nationally televised by at least 10-15 minutes. Which means Yankees-Red Sox games will still last four hours.
Sad news Tuesday night, that a heart surgeon at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital has passed away after being shot this Tuesday morning, apparently by a disgruntled son of a former patient, who then turned the gun on himself. A sad remember that for all we worry about foreign terrorists, we have plenty of crazy dangerous people right in here in the USA.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: delflate-gate jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Patriots jokes, Seahawks jokes, Super Bowl Jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
December 31, 2014
For the opening kickoff of the first Foster Farms Bowl, the wind blew the football off the tee repeatedly so Maryland had to use a holder. They can take the 49ers out of Candlestick, but they can’t take the Candlestick out of their field.
Game time temperature at Levi’s Stadium 45 degrees with wind gusts up to 40mph. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea to have a bowl sponsor with a major product of frozen food. #FosterFarmsBowl
VTA Light Rail announcement tonight at each stop on the way to Levi’s stadium. “Look both ways before crossing tracks.”. Might be more effective to say “Trains use both tracks. Please have your organ donor card available”.
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The Lion’s Ndamukong Suh won his appeal and will play Sunday after his one-game suspension was changed to a $70,000 fine. Bonus time for the NFL, as they get the money from his fine plus higher rates as people tune in to see which Cowboy Suh is planning to stomp now.
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Nick Saban said today he’s “not really interested in any situation in the NFL.” Makes sense, the Alabama coach is making plenty of money, and he already gets to deal with professional players, who will be gone after a maximum of four years.
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Maryland beat Michigan in football this year 23 to 16. Stanford probably calling Harbaugh tonight to see if Jim wants to schedule a game.
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Texas A&M fired student assistant coach Michael Richardson after he hit two West Virginia players during the Liberty Bowl. Richardson may, however, be offered a tryout with the Oakland Raiders defense.
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At a Idaho Wal-Mart, a 2-year-old boy shot and killed his mother when he reached into her purse where she was carrying a concealed gun and the weapon fired. If only the woman had been armed. Oops, wait, never mind.
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A thought about this toddler who shot and killed his mom with her own gun at Walmart. That woman wouldn’t have been allowed to drive the kid to the store without a carseat. But a loaded gun with the safety off, no problem. #noanticarsafetylobby #priorities
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Jim Harbaugh has a seven year contract at Michigan. Seven years?! And they said it with a straight face.
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Groupon is selling a “49ers field experience” where during the first five weeks of 2015, you’ll be able to enter Levi’s Stadium and run around on the field and play with a football. And if you can get along with Jed York, maybe the team will offer you a coaching position.
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How social media can make you feel really out of touch. The #1 trending story on FB this morning is “Giada De Laurentiis announces divorce.” And my #1 reaction was “Who?”
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Kim Kardashian claims she doesn’t smile often because it causes wrinkles. Got news for Kim, people aren’t looking at her face
Categories: sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Foster Farms Bowl jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Jed york jokes, Kardashian jokes, Michigan jokes, Stanford jokes, Suh jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
December 30, 2014
Oops, the Detroit Free Press printed a Jim Harbaugh to UM story on their cover. Except they used a picture of JOHN Harbaugh. Well, okay, they used a photo of the wrong brother. Many Americans think in 2000 we elected the wrong brother as our President.
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Two men were arrested today after a nearly 3 hour police chase that started when they stole San Francisco Chronicle newspaper delivery truck. Many are wondering, “What’s the value of stealing a newspaper delivery truck?” Still more are wondering “Who knew they still delivered newspapers?
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The NY Jets fired coach Rex Ryan and GM John Idzik. Owner Woody Johnson said he has already reached out to potential candidates. Wonder if he called the NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board). They have experience dealing with train wrecks.
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Ndamukong Suh was suspended for the Lions’ playoff game for stepping on Aaron Rodgers’ leg. Suh is appealing, saying it was unintentional, and besides he knows millions of Americans were hoping he would step on Tony Romo.
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Lane Kiffin, now offensive coordinator at Alabama, said he “definitely” plans on returning to the Crimson Tide for a second season. Translation, “unless I get a better offer.”
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Texas A&M played West Virginia, and Oklahoma played Clemson Monday. In two of the bigger “We-expected-a-much-better-season” bowls.
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The 6-10 Atlanta Falcons fired coach Mike Smith. What? After the team came only one game from making the playoffs…..
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Not saying that it wasn’t time for Jim Harbaugh to move on from SF. As three years seems to be about his shelf life. But can we name a top football coach who doesn’t have a least a somewhat arrogant and irritating personality? Or any former top coach for that matter?
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Bus to hell time: Reports indicate that debris from “a red and white plane” which is likely the missing Air Asia jet has been spotted. Sad news for families, and for CNN, as the network had been hoping the plane would be lost for at least a week.
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Meanwhile, over at Fox News, co-host Anna Kooiman suggested that the metric system could be to blame at Air Asia. “Even when we think about temperature, it’s Fahrenheit or Celsius, it’s kilometers or miles. You know, everything about their training could be similar, but different.” And when an FAA expert a bigger difference was foreign pilots’ greater reliance on autopilot, she responded “It’s not just a difference in the way that we measure things? Is it not as safe in that part of the world?”
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Spectacular. By suing a 22 year old kid with a website, Skiplagged.com, that probably wasn’t going anywhere, United and Orbitz have taken “hidden-city ticketing” from an odd and limited strategy that only some travel agents and frequent fliers knew about, to a trending item on social media.
(Basically the idea is simple. If a nonstop flight is expensive between two cities, book a connecting flight on to a cheaper city and then get off the plane. For example, SF to Houston is expensive, so book a ticket SF via Houston to Orlando. But you can’t check bags, and if you put in your mileage number they track the no-show so you can’t get miles, and it only works one-way at a time. For starters. Still, thanks to the lawsuit and publicity, millions of people have now been turned onto the concept.
C.C. Sabathia apparently came unglued at Newark Airport this past weekend when he and 11 friends, all booked in first class, showed up 15 minutes before departure for a flight to Jamaica, and United told him he had no chance to make it through security in time. On brighter notes, no arrests were made, and a lot of people who thought they had had no chance for a upgrade suddenly got lucky.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Air Asia jokes, bowl jokes, Fox News jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Michigan jokes, newspaper jokes
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December 29, 2014
Many SF 49ers fans were disappointed with this season, and now they won’t have Jim Harbaugh to kick around anymore. So soon the team can go back to the halcyon days of Mike Singletary and Mike Nolan.
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Statement from the SF 49ers: “Jim and I have come to the conclusion that it is in our mutual best interest to move in different directions.” Well, it sounds better than “conscious uncoupling.”
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There will be a lot of changes for Jim Harbaugh as he returns to the coaching ranks. For starters, at Michigan he’s going to have to figure out something warmer (and blue-er) than his regular long-sleeved black shirt.
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More than 100 people gathered in Times Square today for the eighth annual Good Riddance Day. Where attendees used a shredder and mallet to get rid of bad memories. Wonder how many showed up with NY Giants and Jets stuff?
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Apparently a contributing factor, if not the reason, for Josh Gordon’s suspension, was a party Johnny Manziel threw Friday night. (Gordon was then AWOL for the team’s Saturday walk-through.) Who says Johnny Football isn’t a leader already?
Cleveland owner Jimmy Haslam said some of the Browns’ young players have “disrespected” the team. “We’re going to work with them — hopefully they grow up. But if they can’t grow up and they can’t be responsible to the their teammates and the coaches and our great fans, then they won’t be with the Cleveland Browns.” So anyone want to take the first guess in the “Johnny Manziel trade date” pool?
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This weekend police were called and arrests were made over fights in food courts at three separate malls, Arden Fair in Sacramento, Chicago Ridge Mall in Illinois and Opry Mills in Nashville. So what the heck are those food courts serving?
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How up-to-date is Al-Qaeda? Their most recent magazine, released last week, called for individual jihadists to bomb Western carriers. Including United Airlines, American, Delta, and Continental.
Headline on Foxnews.com “Attention: Dish has blocked Fox News. Switch TV providers now. ” Hmm…. So how long until Dish starts using that headline as an ad on Msnbc.com and Huffington Post etc?
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No real surprise at this point, Jeb Bush leads a new GOP presidential poll with 23%. Christie is second at 13% and Ben Carson has 7%. I think I speak for many Americans when I say about Carson – “Who?”
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So the NFL is running their ad “Domestic violence and sexual assault are tough for everyone to talk about” in game with Ben Rothlisberger leading Steelers into playoffs #irony
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From T.C. “I just hacked into Sony Pictures computers and found a movie to be released on Monday. It’s about NFL coaching brothers Rex and Rob called “Saving Ryan’s Privates”.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Browns jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, Manziel jokes, Michigan joke, NFL jokes
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December 28, 2014
When it comes to sports, in many ways hate has it all over love. Because the teams you love can suck, but there’s still always plenty of opportunity to root against the teams you hate. (especially during Bowl season.)
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As of very late Saturday night on the West Coast, an AirAsia jet is missing on its way from Surabaya, Indonesia to Singapore, and an Italian ferry with over 400 people on board is on fire in the Adriatic sea. Potential tragedies in both cases, but for CNN, this is hitting the daily double.
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Michigan governor Rick Snyder has signed a “suspicion-based” drug testing bill for welfare recipients. Hmm, can we expand this to elected officials and candidates? Because some of them sure act like they’re on drugs.
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Chicago’s Starlin Castro was questioned by Dominican Republic police in connection with a shooting at a nightclub this morning, after the Cubs shortstop was questioned earlier this month for ANOTHER nightclub shooting. Who does Castro think he is, an NFL player?
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The NFL fined Marshawn Lynch $11,500 for an obscene gesture during last Sunday’s game. Wonder how much they’ll fine the #NYJets for their obscene performance all season?
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Anyone but me thinking that #Marchmadness pools are going to be rather forgone conclusions this year? #raceforsecond #Kentucky
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Jim Harbaugh is expected to sign on as the coach at Michigan. So time to start two pools. 1. How long until the Wolverines win a Rose Bowl? 2. What percentage of Harbaugh’s contract will he last in Ann Arbor?
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So now we are likely to have Jim Harbaugh at Michigan vs. Urban Meyer at OSU Stand by for #Whatsyourdeal – the sequel.
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A new study found that marijuana use has increased in Colorado. Did the survey also find that water is wet?
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According to ESPN Rex Ryan “expects to be” fired by the Jets. Shouldn’t the correct verb be “hopes to be?”
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The Browns suspended WR Josh Gordon for Sunday’s season finale. Thereby increasing the odds that no one outside of Cleveland will be able to name a single active player on the team.
Johnny Manziel, who is on IR, had to either be present for the Browns’ workout Saturday or be getting treatment. But he was AWOL. And later in the day, Cleveland gave the QB his first fine. So congrats to all who had Dec 27 in the pool.
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North Korea, angry over “The Interview,” now referred to President Obama. Is the country trying to curry favor with Fox News?
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Tags: bowl jokes, CNN jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, marijuana jokes, Michigan jokes, North Korea jokes, politician jokes
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December 18, 2014
Chicago Bears safety Chris Conte said he ‘would rather have the experience of playing and, who knows, die 10, 15 years earlier than not be able to play in the NFL and live a long life.” Many fans who watched MNF this week hope the Bears grant Conte’s wish and trade him to an NFL team.
Of course in this country you are innocent until proven guilty. But Ray McDonald, released by the SF 49ers this morning, may be this year’s NFL winner of the “Worst handing of a second chance” award.
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The Orioles’ Chris Davis, suspended last year for 25 games for Adderall, now has a prescription for the drug. According to the Baltimore Sun, 112 exemptions were issued for ADHD in 2014. Out of 750 MLB players. And the percentage of US adults with ADHD? About 4%. #nocomment
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The USA & Cuba have apparently agreed to re-establish diplomatic relations. While tourist travel will still be limited to “educational activities,” government and family trips, Americans will be allowed to return with up to $400 of goods from Cuba. Many Cuban-Americans are upset. Many other Americans are wondering where they can buy cigars.
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So will the first American ambassador to #Cuba be Arnold Schwarzenegger? Or Bill Clinton?
Well, that didn’t take long. Marco Rubio is already attacking President Obama’s decision to start normalizing relations with Cuba: “It’s absurd and it’s part of a long record of coddling dictators and tyrants that this administration has established” Surprised Rubio didn’t follow that with “and if I’m elected President, I promise to only coddle leaders in places like Saudi Arabia.”
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Well, at least #HunterPence won’t be the only character left in the #SFGiants clubhouse next year. #SergioRomo has re-signed with the team.
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Romo’s contract is for 2 years, $15 million. Which means the #SFGiants are still paying him less in 2015 than the #Dodgers are paying #BrianWilson
Really? Prince William is taking a bit of heat in the British press for saying to a young hairdressing trainee that maybe she “could help out with Kate’s hair, because it’s such a nightmare.” Uh, what woman doesn’t think her hair is a nightmare?
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The University of Michigan has offered Jim Harbaugh a 6 year $48 million contract to be their football coach. So given Harbaugh’s record both of success and getting along with people, this should work out to about $12-16 million a year.
Sources have told the U.S. that North Korea hacked SONY. Shocking. Who knew North Korea was actually capable of hacking anybody?
Okay, I know I’m cynical… but have to wonder. Is “The Interview” movie bad enough that cancelling its premiere weekend just saves Sony the embarrassment of a flop. (And stimulates enough curiosity for later viewings and DVD sales?)
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Bears jokes, Cuba jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, North Korea jokes, PED jokes, SFGiants jokes. baseball jokes, Sony jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 5, 2014
Game time for Giants vs. Nationals is 2:07p. So SF fans won’t have to get that sudden debilitating mystery illness at work Monday until about noon.
So the AL representative in #WorldSeries will be either the Kansas City #Royals or the Baltimore #Orioles. And Fox executives just threw up.
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Still can’t get over all those empty seats in Nationals Park Saturday night in extra innings. It was if we were watching a Nationals game and an Expos game broke out.
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(And okay, so it was almost midnight and getting colder. As a veteran of the 7 plus hour Giants-Dodgers twilight doubleheader in July 1988, however, I have cred on this issue. Scott Garrelts lost BOTH games, the second about 130a.)
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On the other hand, right about now all those #49ers fans who complained about how cold it was at #CandlestickPark thinking “I take it back.” #LevisStadium
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The sunny-side of the stadium was largely empty in the second half of today’s 49ers-Chiefs game. On a brighter note, maybe the 49ers can rent out the place on weekdays as the world’s largest tanning booth?
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Randy Moss now says of playing under Jim Harbaugh with the 49ers: “He treated us men like we were still college kids at Stanford.” Does Moss mean Harbaugh overestimated most of the team’s maturity level?
Saw today’s new poll of the best 25 college teams and it inexplicably left off the #NYJets
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Although main thought watching week 5 in the #NFL. This league has a lot of mediocre football teams.
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So #11 Oregon, who beat #8 MSU by 18, is ranked below the Spartans in today’s coaches poll, and an undefeated #12 TCU is ranked below the #9 Oklahoma team they beat. Well, no one ever suggested anyone connected with college football is good with math.
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Paul Revere, founder of Paul Revere and the Raiders, has passed away at the age of 76. Please can someone get a comment from Sarah Palin on his death?
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Lots of rumors that this is Jim Harbaugh’s last year with the 49ers. This morning Jed York tweeted “Jim is my coach. We are trying to win a SB, not a personality or popularity contest. Any more questions?” Well, at least York didn’t say he was behind Harbaugh 1000%.
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Who ever thought #Jets fans would be looking back longingly to the glory days of #MarkSanchez and #TimTebow?
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More “Why there is no satire.” Todd Kincannon, former executive director of the South Carolina GOP tweeted yesterday. “People with Ebola in the US need to be humanely put down immediately.” And followed it with “The protocol for a positive Ebola test should be immediate humane execution and sanitization of the whole area. That will save lives.” And yes, he’s “pro-life.”
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Joint joke with my friend Alex Kaseberg. “What is with all the long, bushy beards on baseball players. Have not seen this many beards since Tom Cruise was auditioning potential future wives.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, college football jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, Levis stadium jokes, Nationals jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
January 13, 2014
If you have children watch games to teach them about sportsmanship, you might want to have turned off the Panthers 49ers NFC playoff Sunday.
Semi-serious thought for a change If taunting is in the NFL penalty book, then start calling it and fining players. Instead of saving the fines for stuff like wearing the wrong socks.
Nice show of confidence from Seattle management – restricting ticket sales to next week’s NFC championships to fans in in 6 states, not including California. You’d think if the Seahawks can handle the 49ers, their 12th man fans could handle a few hundred folks in red and gold.
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Heck, if the Seahawks are that worried about out-of-towners spoiling their game, maybe they should ask Chris Christie to coordinate local bridge traffic?
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Already controversy with the U.S. Women’s Figure Skating team, as the Olympic committee chose the 1st, 2nd and 4th place finishers at the Trials for the three spots. Guess that’s what they get for giving a guest spot to the French judge?
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A-Rod says he is showing up for Spring Training while he appeals his suspension. Thereby assuring that this year the Yankees circus starts before Opening Day.
Guess the Yankees should have been suspicious when A-Rod had that plastic jar of multi-colored candies labeled “Gummy Bears-ly Legal.”
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The Chargers’ Manti T’eo was knocked out of today’s game with a concussion. Wonder if they took his helmet when T’eo asked for his girlfriend.
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Biggest losers with NFL games today? Advertisers who bought time late in the fourth quarters.
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Fake punt late with a two touchdown lead. Harbaugh doing his best to assure that most people outside of California and Washington will be rooting for AFC in Super Bowl.
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Peyton Manning will have an offseason exam on his neck that will determine his future. And 29 teams who aren’t the Broncos are saying “Take care of yourself, relax, spend time with your family.”
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For all those who are convinced private industry trumps government every time, and regulations are just job-killers, maybe it’s time for a short visit to West Virginia. Just don’t drink the water.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, A-Rod jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, playoff jokes, Seahawks jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
January 7, 2014
49ers coach Jim Harbaugh today compared Colin Kaepernick to a gazelle. Is that really the right metaphor to use when your next opponent is the Panthers?
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Upon further reflection with that Chiefs-Colts matchup, the only person who could have stopped Andrew Luck taking over that game late was David Shaw.
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Jim Harbaugh said after yesterday’s 49ers-Packers game, that the “greatest catcher of all time, Michael Crabtree, catches everything.” The “greatest catcher of all time?” Uh, not even the greatest “catcher” in recent history with the 49ers.
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The latest battle in Washington is over long-term unemployment benefits, and many in the GOP are against reintroducing them. Although you do wonder how some in Congress can rail with a straight face against unemployed Americans who have accomplished nothing in six months.
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Proving that all the stupidity in the world is not caused by testosterone poisoning. A New Hampshire girl is recovering after she got stuck for 15 minutes to a flag pole after licking it during a blizzard.
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Madonna posted an Instagram picture of her 13-year-old son holding a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin. Looks like the apple isn’t going to stagger far from the tree.
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You would think if any team in the US knew to put some fast defenders on their kicking team it would be Auburn. #ownmedicine #AUBvsFSU
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So for the first time in 8 years, an SEC team is not the BCS champion. Something that no doubt will be addressed by the conference putting 2 or 3 teams in next year’s playoffs.
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Pasadena police have to be relieved. They don’t have to stand guard over their palms to prevent the trees being rolled.
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With the story of Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos being airlifted off a cruise ship, kidney stones are in the news. With one story saying “they are more painful than childbirth.” Just guessing that quote comes from a man.
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The new Chevrolet Camaro Z/28 is expected to cost $75,000. And that’s before speeding tickets.
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Stay classy! Gubernatorial candidate Tim Donnelly has a commercial out dismissing the idea of a Republican “War on Women”. It features Jennifer Kerns, his female campaign manager saying “The war on women was started by consultants.” And Kerns mentions “Chappaquiddick” as an example of a real war on women. Guessing even much of the GOP is appalled, although no doubt there are others who wonder if they can blame Chappaquiddick on Obama.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, BCS jokes, Congress jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, SEC jokes
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February 3, 2013
If San Francisco 49ers came back to win this Super Bowl would players have voted a game share to the Superdome electricians?
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They may have lost in the end but San Francisco 49ers came close enough to taking the lead in the fourth quarter that the Baltimore Ravens almost sent a coach to see if they could pull the plug on the Superdome lights again.
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Meanwhile on Fox News wonder how long it took them to blame the power outage on Obama?
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Super Bowl XLVII is over. The Super Bowl XLVIII pregame show starts tomorrow.
And across America how many dads are telling their daughters, “No, you are NOT dressing as Beyonce next Halloween”?
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Jim Harbaugh’s oldest child is an assistant coach for the Baltimore Ravens. Thinking Jay is not in line this year for a warm fuzzy Valentine’s Day card from father to son..
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The 49ers were called for an illegal formation on the first play of the Super Bowl. If anyone needed proof that you can over think sports…
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Roger Goodell said this morning he would “absolutely” let his son play football. Brave words from a man with two daughters.
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On “Face the Nation”, Goodell declined to confirm that there is a proven connection between the football and medical problems in retired players. Even Bud Selig is thinking “How deliberately oblivious can you be?”
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Hearing about Wayne LaPierre getting attacked on Fox News for his extreme views on guns… It’s enough to make you wonder if there should be a mental health requirement to be an NRA executive.
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John Harbaugh, taking a safety and running the clock down to 4 seconds at the end of the Super Bowl – basically telling his younger brother “Age and treachery can overcome youth and skill.”
At the end, all SF 49ers needed to win Super Bowl was the Stanford Band.
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New Orleans City Council Pres. Stacy Head said tonight she hoped power outage wouldn’t hurt the city’s 2018 Super Bowl bid, adding she would rather sit through a temporary power outage than watch a 3 hour game in sub-freezing temperature. Your move, Chris Christie.
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The logic that says you do or don’t make a call based on where you are in an NFL game makes the balk call in baseball look reasonable.
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All this controversy over Chuck Hagel as potential Defense secretary. Well, suppose it’s what President Obama gets for nominating a Democrat with no military experience. Uh, wait… never mind.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #SB47 jokes, 49ers jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, New Orleans jokes, Super Bowl Jokes, Superdome jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 