Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Fouls and other offensiveness.

May 2, 2016

If you had to say one good thing about NBA refs it’s that they make you appreciate MLB umpires.

 

Well this ought to do wonders for those who say ‪#‎NBA‬ games are fixed. ‪#‎offensivefoul‬ ‪#‎OKCvsSAS‬ ‪#‎Spurs‬

Not saying Ginoboli got hacked on that inbound at the end of the Oklahoma City -San Antonio game, but 7 of 10 NFL refs might have called a penalty.

In Cincinnati,  Johnny Cueto got a nice ovation from ‪#‎Reds‬ fans just by showing up. He didn’t have to thank them by pitching batting practice in the 3rd ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Although, while Cueto did give up six runs, he also got a couple RBI’s.   The #‎SFGiants‬ are leading baseball with pitchers with hits and RBI’s. 11 each. ‪#‎wedontneednostinkingDH‬ ‪#‎Pitcherswhorake‬

A marijuana dispensary is apparently interested in taking over the naming rights for the Denver Broncos’ Sports Authority stadium. Leaving aside the Mile High jokes, this could really be a great marketing partnership for Peyton Manning’s Papa John’s pizza.

 

Pablo Sandoval has had shoulder surgery and will miss the rest of the 2016 season. Maybe to improve the Panda’s chances in 2017 the Red Sox will request a two-handed sling that makes it impossible for him to hold a fork?

Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Bob Dylan and Roger Waters all posted on social media with an apparent tease for a mega concert this October. Shocking! All those old farts know how to use social media?

Sports Authority is liquidating all its stores.  Sports Authority still had stores?

Ted Cruz on the campaign trail “we will not give into evil….” This is the man who put Carly Fiorina on his ticket?

Carly Fiorina felt off a stage at a Cruz rally today.  As opposed to Cruz’s campaign itself, which seems to have fallen off a cliff.

Really? Now, I know there is no love lost between ESPN and Curt Schilling, and Schilling was an idiot to keep posting incendiary stuff after his employers told him to stop. But now the network aired an “30 for 30” about the Red Sox miracle ALCS comeback in 2004 against the Yankees and cut out the “bloody sock” game.
What are we, folks, ten year old boys?

Turing Pharmaceuticals, Martin Shkreli’s former company, which raised the price of an AIDS drug 5,000% has been sued for breach of contract by the company that let it sell the drug in the first place.
Not sure which lawyers Turing might get for their defense – maybe some who find the Cruz campaign too warm and fuzzy?

Old Navy is now getting heat from internet trolls over an ad featuring an interracial family. Ok, now as misguided as these folks are who are against transgenders in bathrooms over the fear factor, who exactly do they expect an interracial family to hurt?

While we’re at it, assume none of these anti-interracial  family trolls are sports fans….particularly of the NBA – Tony Parker, Klay Thompson,  Blake Griffin…. for starters. And then there’s Derek Jeter.

 

Donald Trump is criticizing Hillary Clinton for her “off the reservation” comment, saying “If I made that statement about women, then there’d be front page headlines I think it’s a very nasty statement to men…”
I think even the pot and the kettle are both giggling.

Four Auburn sophomore football players were arrested on misdemeanor marijuana charges last weekend, three who were reserves, and one, Carlton Davis III, who was a freshman All-American. Coach Gus Malzahn said “we will handle the matter appropriately.
Translation, the three reserves might be suspended for Auburn’s opener against Clemson, and Davis III might be suspended for the Tigers’ second game against Arkansas State.

We Americans love underdogs. So we can happily congratulate ‪#‎Leicester‬ on a great Premier League championship. Without ever watching a soccer game.

Not the Grey Cup either…

May 1, 2016

Toronto Raptors’ Kyle Lowry on today’s game 7. “This is like our Super Bowl, win or go home.” Uh, so maybe Lowry isn’t a big NFL fan, but has someone told him after the Super Bowl both teams go home?

 

The New York Yankees, at 8-15, are in the cellar of the AL East. No punchline, I just like writing it.

So wait a minute, there are no Canadian teams in the NHL playoffs but one in the NBA playoffs? Hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.

The White House has put forward proposals to make it easier for federal, state and local agencies to buy “smart guns” that only operate for certain users. The NRA is of course against it, saying the concept is “unproven” and “causes us great concern”. Because of course nothing ever goes wrong now with stolen law enforcement guns. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

Some are already grading this year’s NFL draft picks by team. Yep, the same experts who had this year’s Super Bowl between the Seahawks or Packers, and the Colts or the Patriots.

Congrats to ‪#‎MaliaObama‬ who will be attending ‪#‎Harvard‬. Wonder if that means she didn’t get into ‪#‎Stanford‬?

Donald Trump, going after Hillary last week called her “one of the all time great enablers.” Of course, Trump’s wives are never enablers, he just trades them in for younger models first.

Justin Bieber posted a picture of himself petting a tiger while the big cat was on a leash. Ok, be honest, how many other people were hoping for an equipment malfunction?

Another thought about this bathroom insanity. Something like 90% of children who are sexually abused, are abused by someone they know. So where are the fear mongers about friends and relatives taking children into bathrooms?

 

Talking with friends yesterday after the Correspondents dinner, mentioned that I once wrote a joke that made then Senator Obama laugh.   They suggested  I post it.

In 2007  was able to meet him briefly on a rope line.
Said, “Senator, people say you’re the rock star of the Democratic party, but you’re too young to be president. But I’m looking at these concert tours for the Who, Paul McCartney and the Rolling Stones. And thinking you’re plenty old enough to be President. But you are not old enough to be a rock star.”

(he not only laughed he said I might be right, and he had all their records.)

Spurred on.

April 30, 2016

 

43 points in the first quarter for the ‪#‎Spurs‬. San Antonio was playing like a team of men possessed to get game one done in time to make it home for the “Early bird special.”

 

Hasn’t been such a one-sided contest in ‪#‎SanAntonio‬ since the ‪#‎Alamo‬. ‪#‎Spurs‬ ‪#‎Thunder

OKC coach Billy Donovan has seen games like ‪#‎Spurs‬ ‪#‎Thunder‬ before. When he was with Florida against some of those double-digit seeds  in the NCAA first round.

 

 

The NY Jets have now drafted 11 quarterbacks since 2000. So guess 11 wrongs also don’t make a right.

A Chicago woman has filed a $5 million lawsuit against Starbucks for putting too many ice cubes in their cold drinks, saying customers aren’t getting all they are paying for.   Uh, waiting for a court to throw it out saying, if you really care about getting what you’re paying for, you won’t be going to Starbucks.

Actor Kirk Cameron “Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband,” Hmm, another two-bit actor who hopes to follow Ronald Reagan into politics?

A high school near Houston is planning to open a $62 million football stadium. This after a Dallas area school spent $60 million on their stadium. Reaction outside of Texas “That’s obscene.” Reaction within Texas “How do we top that?”.

A high school near Houston is planning to open a $62 million football stadium. This after a Dallas area school spent $60 million on their stadium. Reaction outside of Texas “That’s obscene.” Reaction within Texas “How do we top that?”

A new poll says Ted Cruz has a “significant” lead in Indiana. So how much do Indiana voters hate Donald Trump to vote for a guy who refers to a “basketball ring?”

President Obama tonight at the White House Correspondents’ dinner: “Next year at this time someone else will be standing here in this very spot, and it’s anyone’s guess who she will be.”

John Kasich in San Francisco yesterday said that people are “probably” born gay. Not sure what’s scarier, that the statement is still so tentative, or that even so it puts him onto the liberal fringe of the GOP.

 

 

Getting away with murder?

April 29, 2016

Former NFL star Ray Lewis’s son has been arrested for sexual assault. Can’t imagine how the young man grew up thinking he could get away with a serious crime.

Leremy Tunsil’s draft night nightmare is over, as he was finally picked by the Miami Dolphins. But it does remind many of us old farts again, how lucky we were not to grow up in a social media age.

In somewhat of a surprise move, the Cleveland Browns drafted USC QB Cody Kessler. Well, makes sense. Both the Browns and Trojans quarterbacks have had such impressive results in the NFL…. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

Dee Gordon suspended 80 games for PEDS. So much for all those Bonds-bashers who “knew” he was dirty because of his size.

#‎LukeWalton‬ is going to be new coach of ‪#‎Lakers‬. Presume good $$ Well, at least he won’t have to deal with all this playoff pressure.

 

#‎LukeWalton‬, 36, is new ‪#‎Lakers‬ coach. Well, Luke was at that awkward age, too old to still be an assistant, too young to play for ‪#‎Spurs‬

A New York pizzeria has introduces a pizza box made out of pizza, with a second pizza inside. Now THIS is a challenge for Pizza Rat.

 

A new ad in California goes after Cruz and Trump for being dangerous on climate change. Fine, except most potential Cruz and Trump voters don’t believe in climate change.

John Boehner called Ted Cruz a “miserable son of a bitch” and “Lucifer.” Can just imagine what Boehner would say if he had a chance to get to know Carly Fiorina.

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Loved the Kevin Costner movie “Draft Day,” though it was no doubt unrealistic. On the other hand, if someone had submitted a script including this Laremy Tunsil story….it would have been rejected as completely unbelievable.

Roger Goodell on radio with Mike and Mike this morning on ESPN about the Tunsil situation. “I think it’s all part of what makes the draft so exciting.” Is the NFL commissioner trying to so be likable that Ted Cruz wants him on his campaign team?

Apparently protestors surrounded the hotel near San Francisco Airport where Donald Trump is speaking and disrupting traffic. Because making people miss planes is always a good way to get them on your side.

 

Poor Marissa Mayer. The Yahoo GEO got a $6 million pay cut last year. Although she still made $36 million. Sounds like Mayer is right on track to be fired and then run for office touting her Silicon Valley record of achievement.

from Marc Ragovin  “After being slammed for calling a basketball hoop a “ring,” Ted Cruz said he would atone his mistake the way people do in his birth country, by spending two minutes in the penalty crate.”

 

As Dee Gordon’s suspension puts the shadow of steroids on baseball again, can we have a moment of reality? The difference between AAA ball, where a player probably won’t make $50k, and major league minimum of about $500,000, is huge. And that’s not even talking about the veteran multi-million dollar contracts.
So let’s see, a whole lot of scientists trying to make undetectable PEDs for the big bucks, and drug testers who probably make closer to minor league money. Who would you bet on?

Countdown

April 29, 2016

So after interminable hype, the 2016 NFL Draft began tonight. The hype for the 2017 Draft begins next week.

 

Just wondering, why does team with #1 draft pick need to be on the clock at all. Shouldn’t they have decided by now? ‪#‎LARams‬ ‪#‎NFLDraft2016‬

 

A pre-draft Change.org petition was circulating asking the Denver Broncos to bring back Tim Tebow. Well, he’d be cheap, he won’t get arrested, and the Broncos did prove they could win a Super Bowl without a QB.

 

Five Ohio State players picked in the first draft round. After years with Urban Meyer hope they don’t find the NFL too much of a pay cut.

 

@Saints had drafted ‪#‎Tunsil‬ @nflcommish Roger Goodell would have suspended the kid for the season on principle.

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President Obama has invited the 1983 NC State NCAA tournament championship team to the White House for a visit. Wonder if they will play a little hoops. Although at this point those guys are almost old enough to play for the Spurs.

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Congrats Paxton Lynch & his agent Leigh Steinberg for the first round pick by the Broncos. Looking like Colin Kaepernick, who remains with the 49ers, is about to discover if money can buy happiness. Because it sure won’t buy him being on a good team.

Raiders owner Mark Davis said today that he wants to move the team from Oakland to Las Vegas. Of course Roger Goodell has always claimed that the NFL is against gambling. Wonder what the odds on the move are?

Come on John Boehner, tell us how you really feel. The former Speaker during a talk at Stanford yesterday, about Ted Cruz – “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a b—h in my life.”

John Boehner also referred to Ted Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh.” Lucifier demands an apology.

 

Caitlyn Jenner took Donald Trump up on his suggestion, used the women’s room at the Trump hotel on the west side of Manhattan, and posted a video about it on FB. The video has received about a million views. Isn’t it great to know Americans are focused on the issues that really matter?

A USA Today headline “Ted Cruz lays groundwork for last stand in California.” So this is why he chose Carly Fiorina as his potential v.p., because she is so beloved in the state?

An art teacher in Detroit claims she was fired for using the word “vagina” in talking about Georgia O’Keefe’s paintings. So, she should have used a cruder word?

 

Melania Trump, posting Friday about a GC artilcle about her life claimed the piece was “yet another example of the dishonest media and their disingenuous reporting. Well, and if there’s any way to make sure that a GQ article will be read…

The name of the game?

April 27, 2016

Okay, if you had someone who had never watched baseball before  last night’s SF Giants’ 1-0 win, a Johnny Cueto complete game gem. And then they watched today’s 13-9 game…. well, it would be very hard to explain to them that it’s the same sport.

 

 

#‎NBA‬ worried about ‪#‎AllStar‬ game in ‪#‎NorthCarolina‬, but no one figured they’d need to worry about 2nd or 3rd round playoff games ‪#‎Hornets‬

#‎Rockets‬ don’t just look like they don’t belong on floor with ‪#‎Warriors‬, Houston looks like they don’t belong on floor with ‪#‎Villanova‬.

Justin Bieber picked the Cleveland Cavaliers to win the NBA title. That might be the best news the Warriors, Thunder and Spurs have heard all week.

He stays, he goes, he stays, he goes…? Apparently 49ers GM Trent Baalke still won’t rule out trading Colin Kaepernick this week. Even Brett Favre is saying, “Dudes, make up your minds.”

Emily Pitha, a fundraiser for John McCain’s Senate re-election campaign fundraiser, has been arrested in Arizona for a meth lab with LSD, cocaine, heroin, counterfeit cash and bomb-making materials. And who’d a thunk McCain would ever associate with a woman he hadn’t properly vetted.

Donald Trump  accuses Hillary of playing the “woman card.” Ted Cruz picks Carly Fiorina, thereby playing the “madwoman card.”

Dennis Hastert has been sentenced to 15 months in prison. Yep, the same former speaker who voted with the Moral Majority and co-sponsored a bill against online predators, saying “it sends a strong message to the most heinous of criminals who prey upon our children — you will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.”
I guess preying upon children at school doesn’t count?

Ted Cruz has apparently picked  Carly Fiorina as his running mate. The only person who could make Cruz look likeable by comparison?

So have to wonder, if Cruz wanted to add a woman to his proposed ticket, why not someone like Nikki Haley, who most people like and respect even if they don’t agree with her.
Hmm, of course maybe he did ask and Haley is smart enough to have said “NFW.”

Ted Cruz has picked Carly Fiorina for his running mate should he win the nomination. Hmm, wonder who Ben Stiller has picked for his speechwriter should he win an Oscar for Zoolander 2?

Ted Cruz last night, referencing Hoosiers “The amazing thing is that basketball ring here in Indiana, it’s the same height as it is in New York City and every other place in this country.”
Standby for Cruz’s next speech where he talks about getting into the boxing hoop with Donald Trump.

Dennis Hastert has been sentenced to 15 months in prison. Yep, the same former speaker who voted with the Moral Majority and co-sponsored a bill against online predators, saying “it sends a strong message to the most heinous of criminals who prey upon our children — you will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.”
I guess preying upon children at school doesn’t count?

 

 

 

 

In the hole?

April 26, 2016

CNN.com headline “Tiger feels good after first holes of year.” So are we talking golf?

 

Giancarlo ‪#‎Stanton‬ just hit a three-run home run off of Clayton ‪#‎Kershaw‬. Who does Stanton think he is? Madison ‪#‎Bumgarner‬?

Uh oh, Drew Brees on Roger Goodell. “I think we would all agree that [he] definitely has too much power. He is judge, jury and executioner when it comes to all the discipline. I’m not going to trust any league-led investigation, when it comes to anything.”
So wonder what Goodell is going to do to the Saints this year?

The Los Angeles #‎Clippers‬ announced Blake Griffin will be out the rest of the postseason, and Chris Paul will be out, “indefinitely.” Okay, so  they’ll both miss two games.

DeAndre Jordan, with a lifetime 42% FT percentage, managed to shoot 2 consecutive air balls from the line yesterday. Heck I could probably at least hit the rim.
Changing the “hack” rule for people like him is like giving baseball’s free swingers 4 strikes, or giving last year’s 49ers five downs.

Johnny Manziel has been indicted by a Texas grand jury on an assault charge. Hmm. Maybe Johnny Football REALLY wanted to be picked up by the Cowboys or 49ers.

#‎NottheOnion‬ Andrew Luck has started an online book club. And down in the SEC they’re asking “What’s a book?”

Skip Bayless is leaving ESPN after the NBA finals. So the position of “Most Obnoxious Man” on the network is open.

Think the only way ‪#‎KellyRipa‬ could have gotten more media attention lately is if she had started a ‪#‎Twitter‬ war with ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬

Not sure, but just guessing before round 2 that if asked anyone connected with the San Antonio Spurs will say of course Durant and Westbrook are both superstars. ‪#‎MarkCuban‬ ‪#‎hesaindiot‬

Apparently a new and successful form of medical marijuana for women with PMS and gynecological pain issues is marijuana suppositories. Kind of puts a whole new slant on “up yours.”

 

 

Donald Trump tonight tweeted “Bernie Sanders has been treated terribly by the Democrats—both with delegates & otherwise. He should show them, and run as an Independent!”
Uh, Donald, speaking of feeling badly treated by a party, why don’t YOU run as an independent?”

 

Donald Trump tonight said the only thing Hillary has is “the woman’s card” but “women DON’T like her.” Got news for the Donald. women like him less.


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