Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

The Eagle has landed?

January 15, 2019

 

Eagles coach Doug Pederson said yesterday “Carson Wentz is the quarterback going forward.” Guessing Wentz might be forgiven for not being too unhappy New Orleans Saints came to beat Philadelphia last week?

Brandon Wimbush is transferring from Notre Dame to UCF “I am excited to announce that UCF has granted me an awesome opportunity to play my last year of collegiate football for their great University.”
Well, at least he isn’t even pretending it’s about academics.

So do hamberders go well with covfefe?

The official White House story is that Trump fed the Clemson team fast food because of the shutdown. Gosh, if there were only a hotel near the White House where Trump knew the catering staff….

British Parliament rejects PM Theresa May’s Brexit deal with the European Union – 432 votes to 202
Gosh, who knew a country could get a vote so wrong?

So maybe Britain can just do a mulligan and have the whole country revote on Brexit?
Millions of Americans wish they could do the same with 2016.

This 2020 election cycle is going to be tough for Donald Trump. So many women running for President, so little time to think of childish nicknames for them all.

Open note to IRS workers, if Donald Trump calls you back to work without pay it might be an understandable error to accidentally release his tax returns.

Surest sign things are not going well for Donald Trump? Fox News has headlines about another caravan again.

Historically Presidents have loved to visit children’s classrooms. Guess we can be sure though Donald Trump won’t visit the new school where Karen Pence will teach,  which bans LGBTs.  They don’t allow anyone guilty of “moral misconduct” – including “heterosexual activity outside of marriage (e.g., premarital sex, cohabitation, extramarital sex).”

Seriously, how hard would it be for Donald Trump to end the shutdown, declare he will privately fund the wall as a profit making operation and then lie about it being done?

 

From Marc Ragovin  “Now that Steve King has been stripped of his committee seats, he will probably announce his retirement to spend more time with his klan … I mean clan.”

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Beyond Boston

January 15, 2019

Tom Brady  – “I know everyone thinks we suck “I know everyone thinks we suck and, you know, can’t win any games.”
Not quite Tom, everyone knows the Patriots can win football games. Most of them still think you guys suck. #cheaters

As Trump buys fast food for Clemson players, have to wonder, how many restaurants in DC are hurting big time now because furloughed federal workers aren’t eating lunch or stopping by after work?

 

A tanker carrying 20 TONS of liquid chocolate overturned near Flagstaff today, spilling its contents over the highway. All we need is a truck full of chilis for the world’s biggest mole party.

While Trump spoke in New Orleans today, originally he was confused and said he wsa going to Nashville. They both start with N. What’s the problem?

Trump praised Saints once he figured out he was in New Orleans & not Tennessee. Guess no one told Donald this comment last season about him from Sean Payton “I think we need a little more wisdom in that office. Seems like every time he’s opening his mouth, it’s something that is dividing our country & not pulling us together.”

Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul, who criticizes socialized medicine as much as anyone in Congress,, will travel to Ontario, Canada later this month to get hernia surgery.    Is this a stealth move to try to get Canada to build a wall to keep him there?

 

While Donald Trump rants about “Angel moms” & falsely limits them to moms whose children were killed by undocumented immigrants, your reminder he has still said NOTHING about police officer #NatalieCorona, 23, from a Mexican immigrant family, murdered by a white man.

 

When asked to comment on Steve King racist remarks, Donald Trump responded “I haven’t been following it.”
Translation: the story hasn’t been covered on “Fox and Friends.”

Donald Trump, ignoring his merit-based immigration claims from the past today to farmers – “people aren’t going to come, except for the people we want to come, because we want to take people in to help our farmers.”
Uh, one of the people he used as a racist dog whistle last fall was the killer of Mollie Tibbetts, who had been a reliable  and good – albeit undocumented – immigrant worker for four years in Iowa.

Former Trump campaign advisor, Barry Bennett who has a political consulting firm with Corey Lewandowski, about furloughed workers “It’s inconvenient that they’re not getting paid. But it’s for time they’re not even going into the office.”
So the question of the day “Evil? Or just amoral?”

 

Better marching in late than never?

January 14, 2019

Today’s 14-point New Orleans Saints comeback was the largest in the team’s playoff history. Of course, last year in Minnesota coming back from 17-0 would have been the record. Not, not still bitter.

Much talk of how Saints might have drafted Mahomes if KC hadn’t.   Yeah, Patrick was on the Saints raider. Right below the guy Sean Payton did draft, and said he wanted more – Marshon Lattimore.

Anyone else noticed time never goes as slowly as it does when your team has a 4th quarter lead.

As for the Chargers against Patriots, well, at least they helped cover the over.

Not a Cowboys fan, but Terrell Owens calling out coach Jason Garrett as “not the answer” after their loss to Rams yesterday.
Because TO knows all about winning a Super Bowl?

Jeanine Pirro asked Trump if he ever worked for Russia.
“I think it’s the most insulting thing I’ve ever been asked.”

Uh, wasn’t there a possible one word answer?

Lots of snow in DC. Hope it doesn’t shut down the government.

A 21-year-old man playing hide-and-seek in an abandoned building in Detroit with friends died last night when he ran to hide and fell down an elevator shaft.
Let me guess, alcohol might have been involved. #DarwinAward

Lindsey Graham complaining about New York Times story on alleged FBI probe of Donald Trump after he fired Comey, “That story came from somebody who leaked it with an agenda.”
That’s like blaming Deep Throat for Watergate

Now Trump tweeting that “Border is eventually going to be militarized and defended or the United States, as we have known it, is going to cease to exist.”
Uh, in many ways the United States, as we have known it, has ceased to exist since Donald moved into White House.
I miss having a President.

More from Trump tweet storm “Best line in the Elizabeth Warren beer catastrophe is, to her husband, “Thank you for being here. I’m glad you’re here” It’s their house, he’s supposed to be there!”
Uh, where’s Melanie?  (sic)

And the doinks just keep on coming

January 13, 2019

Did Adam Vinatieri suddenly get 10 years older in the past week?

 

Lawrence Taylor reportedly sent prostitutes to his opponents’ hotel rooms before big games

Thinking on a more PG level  Saints  fans should be hospitable hosts and send King Cakes to Eagles’ hotel rooms tonight. Lots of big King Cakes with gooey icing, maybe pecan and cream-cheese filled too.

Okay, who had Colts scoring first TD in 2nd quarter, before they had a 1st down?

And is there a football magnet on the goal posts this year?

So the Arizona Cardinals just hired Kliff Kingsbury, who couldn’t win at Texas Tech with Patrick Mahomes?

Alabama sophomore DE LaBryan Ray was arrested last night in Tuscaloosa for alleged public intoxication. Just how drunk do you have to be as a Crimson Tide player to be arrested in Alabama for it?0And so does Putin claim Trump as a dependent on his tax returns?

If Mitch McConnell would simply allow Senate to VOTE on the same bill they passed unanimously in December, then we’d at least know what side all Senators are on with the shutdown.

Five killed so far in Winter Storm Gia crashes in Kansas and Missouri. By Trump logic should the states be blamed for not clearing the roads and letting people drive in the snow?

At times like this with bombshells about Trump rvealed by Washington Post and NY Times, it is important to remember that Barack Obama once wore a tan suit.

Trump may have gotten rid of records from his private meeting with Russia’s leader. But I’ll bet Putin kept his.

 

 

California police officer Ronil Singh, 33, fatally shot by an illegal immigrant, tweeted about and eulogized repeatedly by Donald Trump.
Natalie Corona, 23, fatally shot by a white man with a battery conviction, and crickets.
Sad, and pathetic.

Did he kneel?

January 11, 2019

Tim Tebow is engaged. So guess he’s finally been completing his passes.

 

Two-years, $20 million for Jed Lowrie, 34, with Mets. Nice deal. And maybe at his age Lowrie is tired of dealing with playoff pressure?

Congratulations to Gregg Popovich, now #3 on all-time NBA coaching wins list.  The Spurs this year have EIGHT new players on their roster and no real point guard. It is just possible Pop is GOAT coach.

And 56 points from Lamarcus Aldridge and an NBA record 84% (16-19) on 3-pointers, and 154 points in double OT.  Just like everyone expected for the second game of a back-to-back.

 

Unidentified person reportedly decapitated by a helicopter at a small Florida airport. The local sheriff called it “a “very serious aircraft accident.”
I think I prefer- a serious Darwin winner.

Iowa GOP Rep Steve King -“White nationalist, white supremacist… how did that language become offensive?”
But hey, a Democratic woman Rep. called Trump a “motherf*cker” and another woman danced. #priorities

 

Someone registered officialsecuretheborderfund.com

Worth a click.

If Donald Trump wants to prove Democrats are lying about meetings why doesn’t he just televise all meetings he has with them?

 

 

So the Stable Genius who knows everything about everything also claims he had no idea what his personal lawyer and campaign manager were doing?

Lindsey Graham says “We’re stuck, I don’t see a way forward” about this shutdown.
Uh, Senator, how about passing the SAME bill you passed in December, which the Democrats have passed in January?

 

A police officer was shot and critically injured in Davis tonight. No comment from Donald Trump – and no doubt there won’t be. Unless it turns out shooter was undocumented.

Trump fundraiser of the day:
“Look at just a few examples of what the Liberal Elites had to say about the Presidential Address:
Jim Acosta: “Trump address hazardous to the truth.”
Jimmy Kimmel: “Rarely does a president of the United States interrupt primetime television to warn us about a completely made up thing.”
Chuck Schumer: “This president just used the backdrop of the Oval Office to manufacture a crisis.”

Now look at what hard-working American patriots like you said:
Jackie from Georgia: “Mr President. I back you 1000%.”
Grace from Colorado: “I love you Sir!! You are such a blessing to our Country and I cannot thank you enough! I pray for you every day! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
Ed from Michigan: “Great explanation on the the southern border keep it up God bless you sir.””

Wonder if Jackie, Grace and Ed are names he gives those voices in his head?

That’ll teach him?

January 10, 2019

Clemson DT Dexter Lawrence, who was suspended indefinitely over PEDs and missed Tigers’ postseason games, has announced he will leave early for 2019 NFL draft. Makes sense, because in NFL a positive drug test only costs you 4 games.

 

Eight NFL head coaches fired, six white men – so far hired. How’s that “Rooney Rule” working out?

More from our well-regulated militia:  A former LSU offensive lineman lost a leg in a duck hunting incident after his dog reportedly jumped on his gun and, the weapon went off.    Well, dog-gone it.

 

SF Giants changing name from AT&T Park to Oracle Park. And it’s only a coincidence if fans suddenly end up with a major increased in dropped calls?

FDA issued recall notice for “Modjeskas” candy, sold by Kentucky company and QVC as it might be contaminated with Hepatitis A. Okay, MAGAers, you know what to do. Defy science, buy more of the candy and “own the libs.”

Trump argues we need wall to stop migrants driving right across in their “unbelievable vehicles… stronger, bigger, and faster vehicles than our police have, than ICE has” So Trump is TRYING to get more Americans to buy cars made in Mexico?

Maybe if someone told Donald Trump that until the shutdown is over, health inspectors won’t be able to vouch for the safety of his fast food orders…

Trump insists walls work.   But curiously a wall didn’t work to stop Dorothy, a tin man, scarecrow and lion.   Speaking of REALLY successful witch hunts…

 

Coast Guard suggested their employees consider a garage sale during their furlough. Hmm, or maybe some private sales of stuff they might happen to find on boats trying to sneak into the US?

So when the next hurricane destroys parts of Florida, Louisiana or Texas, will Trump withhold FEMA money until people stop building near the shoreline?

None of the headlines today seem to have real Trump Oval Office Tuesday speech message right. “My campaign manager shared political polling data with a business associate tied to Russian intelligence but I REALLY hope you won’t notice.”

It’s up to you?

January 9, 2019

Warriors haven’t beaten up on a team in recent memory. Tonight they beat NY Knicks  by 27, and it wasn’t that close. A message to Kevin Durant just in case he’s thinking about “trying to make it there” to prove he can “make it anywhere…?”

 

Give Trump some credit for distraction. While we were focused on his train wreck in Washington,  Wizards outscored the 76ers by 9 in the 4th quarter and still lost by 17.

Actually, Trump has something in common with the hapless Washington Wizards.  For the forseeable future, they’re both going to be Wall-less.

So after Dabo Swinney’s description of where they were last night will Santa Clara change their name to “wherever-the-heck California?”

On a brighter note for 49ers fans last night at Levi’s Stadium, with Trevor Lawrence they may have gotten a glimpse of the QB they can draft in 2021 if they keep s*cking.

So no smugglers will ever bring drugs in by boats or planes ever again if we put up steel slats. Got it.

 

Nothing Donald Trump hates more than being upstaged. So please, next time he demands airtime for a “National emergency” can some celebrity have a friend drive them slowly on LA freeways in a white Bronco?

 

So Wednesday morning Rush Limbaugh, arrested for abusing oxycodone and hydrocodone, will commend Donald Trump, who abuses Adderall, for Trump’s speech condemning illegal drugs in this country.

This SHOULD have been the rebuttal. From Dec. 11, “I am proud to shut down the government for border security, Chuck. … I will take the mantle. I will be the one to shut it down. I’m not going to blame you for it.”

 

Serious note.  Few things get me as genuinely livid as the fact that in this country if you are a police officer killed by an American citizen, or a woman killed by a husband or boyfriend, or a child killed by a family member, you will get crickets from Trump. But ah, if your killer is undocumented, then you are a posthumous saint.