Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Oh say can you see?

August 17, 2018

ESPN president Jimmy Pitaro said today that network has not regularly televised the national anthem during Monday Night Football and does not plan to start this season.
Disappointing probably only fans who used the time for convenient kitchen or bathroom breaks.

Of course, if Trump or his supporters feel THAT strongly, they could buy up commercial time during the pre-game, and use it to show the National Anthem, unedited and without ads interrupting it…..

SF’s rookie star pitcher Dereck Rodriguez on DL with strained hamstring sustained in Dodgers-Giants brawl when Puig went after Hundley. To quote Bull Durham’s Annie Savoy “Don’t be such GUYS.”

University of Alabama is going to spend about $300 million to upgrade their football stadium. Only about 5% of the state’s public school budget for a year.

 

Elon Musk has gone so nuts on Twitter have to expect he’ll soon be launching a Presidential Exploratory Committee.

Estimates for Trump’s now “postponed” parade had gone up to $92 million from original $12 million estimate -due to expenses for aircraft, equipment, personnel and security, not charges from city of D.C. In other words, Trump lied.

Trump says of cancelled $92 million military parade “Now we can buy some more jet fighters!” Uh, I’m no expert but per Google says F-22s cost “$339 million per plane. Incremental cost for additional F-22 estimated about $138 million in 2009.”

But hey, it will cover more golf weekends.

Judge & jury in Manafort trial have received threats, President of the United States calls the defendant a “very good person” & says trial “very said.” That moment when a Grisham thriller novel seems more plausible than reality.

Now Omarosa may have video as well as tapes. Who’d a thunk when you hire a reality-show villain, then fire and trash her, she’d behave like a reality-show villain?

A bipartisan group of 12 former intelligence officials released a statement on “the ill-considered and unprecedented remarks and actions by the White House regarding the removal of John Brennan’s security clearances.”
How long until Trump declares “intelligence is over-rated?”

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Missing the queen

August 16, 2018

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. RIP Aretha Franklin.

Aretha Franklin was not only an amazing talent, she was a gracious, classy lady. And when asked if she would perform for Trump inaugural, as she did for Obama’s, her response was “That’s a very good question. “We’ll see” Aretha for “Bless his heart?”

 

Someday when we look up “narcissist” in the dictionary, there might be this example. Donald Trump today on Aretha Franklin-
– “I want to begin today by expressing my condolences to the family of a person I knew well. She worked for me on numerous occasions.”

Mets scored 24 in beating the Phillies. So New York won’t be a playoff team. Now they’re just looking to score more than the Jets?

The film “Grease” celebrated its 40th anniversary with a special screening in Los Angeles. Now it’s “You’re the one that I want…if I could only remember your name.”
No injuries but two damaged aircraft when two United Airlines planes clipped wings at O’Hare last night. Standby for a new “accident avoidance” fee.

London’s City Airport is offering a number of free “dumb phones” to passengers going on vacation who want to detox from their Androids and iPhones. The phones can be used ONLY to make and receive calls.
Many of the younger generation is going “What’s a call?”

Omarosa claims that Ivanka Trump was really upset about SNL’s “complicit” sketch about her last year.  Womp womp.

And let’s see, SNL back in about 6 weeks….. should be plenty of time to do a whole “complicit” ad series.

 

The commander of U.S. Joint Special Operations Command who oversaw the 2011 Navy Seal raid that killed Osama bin Laden has written a scathing op-ed suggesting that Trump take away his security clearance too.

“Killing Bin-Laden over-rated” tweets in 3.2.1..

 

But seriously, if someone saw  knew nothing about Donald Trump and saw today’s tweet storm they would have a three word reaction “Off his meds.”

A matter of taste.

August 15, 2018

USA Today headline “Bud Light’s promotion for first Browns win a tasteless idea.”

Does “tasteless” refer to mocking the team? Or the beer?

Just guessing both Giants and Dodgers fans are glad that Madison Bumgarner isn’t pitching tonight against Yasiel Puig.

Inspired by a joke from my friend Argus Hamilton about Trump killing Nicole Brown Simpson.   –

Don’t give Donald Trump any ideas – he needs someone black in the White House, and OJ isn’t doing anything.

Apparently Blue Lives Matter claims they don’t want to partner with the Jets over anthem protests, even though no NY Jets player has protested the anthem.

Maybe it’s just an excuse to avoid having to watch Jets games

I’m waiting for some so-called patriotic/first responder  group to refuse to partner with an NFL team over the team signing domestic violence abusers.

Someone in Georgia apparently stole a trailer-truck said to contain nearly $100,000 in packaged ramen noodles.   Uh, given the prices, and sale prices of packaged ramen, just how big was that truck?

 

 

Because airline insanity is so diverting.

Roundtrip lowest business class fare on United nonstop from San Francisco to Osaka is about $8300. From Los Angeles about $6000. VIA San Francisco. So if someone flies SF-LA-SF-Osaka-SF-LA-SF even with the useless roundtrips on each end they’ll save about $2000. And airlines wonder why we hate them.

Anyone else getting REALLY tired of this season of “Presidential Apprentice?”

 

Regarding the John Brennan situation, if “erratic” behavior & lack of “credibility” is reason to revoke someone’s security clearance who’s going to break the bad news to Donald Trump?

Fundraising email from Mike Pence “I’d love to meet you — and a guest of your choice — at a dinner I’m hosting in Houston, Texas. We’ll even get our picture taken together to share with family and friends.”

Wait, did he ask Mother?

Give Donald Trump credit. Who else could give both a porn star and a reality show villain the moral high ground?

Rhetorical but serious question – is there ANYONE who disagrees with Trump who he actually respects? (Ivanka doesn’t count. #complicit )

Past dated?

August 14, 2018

Bud Light will be giving out free beer at 10 Cleveland-area bars when the Browns win their first regular-season game. Prompting the obvious question – so how long can beer age?

After throwing a few punches at SF Giants’ Nick Hundley, LA Dodgers’ Yasiel Puig was ejected and will probably be suspended.   On a brighter note, he might have drawn some interest from the Chargers.

Due to rule technicalities, Robinson Cano, returning from a 90-game PED suspension, is ineligible for any playoff games, while  Roberto Osuna, returning from a  75-game domestic violence suspension, IS eligible…   So if Cano had only beaten his girlfriend instead of taking PED’s he could play in the postseason. Is this really how MLB wants to compete with the NFL?

Okay folks, the challenge is on for “buzz” on this one. From my friend the very funny Hartley Miller – “An umpire working a NY Yankees-Chicago White Sox game briefly stopped the contest in the 9th inning to have a live bug pulled from his ear. Afterwards, the ump signaled the infield fly rule.”

Omarosa and Sean Spicer’s books aren’t selling very well. Makes sense, Trumpsters don’t want to hear anything against their hero, and Trump haters who want to read outrageous things just have to follow his tweets.

New Quinnipiac poll showed 51% of GOP agreed with Trump that the media is the “enemy of the people” line.
Wonder how many of them realize that Fox News IS media?

In South Lake Tahoe, a deputy had to shoot out a back window of a Honda Civic to free a bear who had gotten into the car and was unable to get out.

But haven’t we all had problems with those child-proof locks?

And at least the bear wasn’t armed.

Air traffic delays averaging well over an hour at many airports across the country…. Boston, New York Area, San Francisco….
Can’t wait for winter when we’ll have fewer flight delays… #WTF?

Florida GOP congressional candidate Melissa Howard “It was not my intent to deceive or mislead anyone. I made a mistake in saying that I completed my degree.”
Right, and the fake diploma she posted a picture with was an art project?#WTF?

At least Donald Trump didn’t accuse Omarosa of having a “perfect smoky eye.”

As we parse Trump’s Omarosa “dog” insult, remember all the media outrage when Barack Obama simply said to Hillary Clinton “You’re likeable enough?”

 

Six firefighters have died battling California wildfires. And only comments from POTUS are blaming the fires on fake water issues…..

While you were sleeping.

August 13, 2018

Translation, any late West Coast game on the East Coast.

Silver lining for Los Angeles  with a SF Giants comeback win from 2-1 in the ninth to win 5-2 – at least few Dodgers fans were still in the stadium to see it.

 

On National Left Handers day, who’d a guessed the lefty who walked off the mound with the biggest smile at Dodger Stadium was not Madison Bumgarner or Clayton Kershaw but SF Giants closer Will Smith.

LA Dodgers have had four straight blown saves.  “I feel so sorry for them” says no one in Northern California.

Carmelo Anthony signing a one year deal with the Houston Rockets. Great news… for the Warriors, Lakers and Spurs.

 

So if anti-Trump tweets and comments before the 2016 election are a firing offense, when is Trump going to try to fire half at least half of the GOP Congress?

According to Trump, Brooks Koepka wins “not only with his powerful game, but with his powerful mind.” Gosh, wonder why Trump doesn’t talk about other athletes. even those he “likes” -Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan – having powerful minds? ”

Interior Secretary Zinke, blaming California Wildfires on environmentalists “This has nothing to do with climate change. This has to do with active forest management.” Translation, if you let us cut the forests all down for profit we’ll have fewer fires.

Trump goes after Kasich this morning but doesn’t insult his intelligence like Lebron James, Maxine Waters, Omarosa, Don Lemon…. I wonder why.

Amazing rants today about Omarosa by Donald Trump, making her sound truly awful. Hope he fires the person who hired her.

Trump speech today after signing the John S. McCain National Defense Authorization Act. – He rambles on indefinitely to praise himself, but not even MENTION McCain

 

I GUARANTEE that if Hillary Clinton as president were signing John S. McCain National Defense Authorization Act, her speech would be nothing but praise for Senator McCain as an American hero who has spent his life in our country’s service.

Today, August 13, is the 57th anniversary of the construction of the Berlin Wall. And a reminder, when people are desperate to escape, walls don’t matter.

Somebody else’s problem

August 12, 2018

As SFGiants fan it’s strangely cathartic on Sunday Night Baseball to watch someone ELSE’s bullpen melt down for a change.  #cubs #nationals

Both teams.

I guarantee, if you are a baseball fan, whatever you thought of Barry Bonds, you NEVER went to the restroom or refrigerator or concession stands during his at-bats.

 

 

SF 49ers now say there’s nothing they can do about the intense sun & heat faced by fans on east side of Levi’s Stadium. But they will lower the price of bottled water from $6 to $2 so fans can stay hydrated.
The NFL equivalent of “thoughts and prayers.”

 

 

Rep. Chris Collins, indicted on insider trading charges, has suspended his re-election campaign. One question – “Who’s next?”

 

Remembering Heather Heyer and sadly realizing that if she had been killed by a car driven by an undocumented immigrant Trump would have been eulogizing her regularly.

What is this fascination Trump has with some women he accuses? Today on Twitter – “Peter S, and his lover, the lovely Lisa Page; “Bruce Ohr, and his beautiful wife, Nelly.”
Almost like you’d think Donald was a sex offender or something.

Gentlemen (and ladies) you cannot create a situation here. This is the situation room.

GOP chairwoman Ronna McDaniel says Omarosa should be prosecuted for recording John Kelly in the Situation Room.
Uh, what about a President who calls and tweets on an un-secure phone?#Lockhimup?

Okay folks, what’s the over-under on how many of Trump administration have their own tapes?

Sarah Huckabee Sanders attacked Omarosa for a “lack of character and integrity.” Wait a minute, isn’t that why Trump hired her in the first place?

 

 

 

A kick away

August 10, 2018

Got it. 49ers hang on to beat the Steelers by a field goal at Candlestick Park tonight. 13-10. Oh wait, never mind.  #SFGiants #Pirates

 

In honor of retiring Barry Bonds’ number, SF Giants are giving out hats tomorrow with #25 on them. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to hand out rubber chickens?

 

Give Trump credit, before this year almost nobody cared what the SCORES were for preseason football.  Let alone what players were doing during the anthem.

Here’s a solution for the NFL – just stop showing the anthem.on TV. More time for commercials and bathroom breaks.

Actually, until every billionaire NFL owner shuts the concession stands and locks the bathrooms during the anthem, Trump should STFU about it.

FDA has approved marketing for a smartphone app claiming to help prevent pregnancy.
Seems simple, spend enough time with smartphone apps and you won’t get close enough to another human to get pregnant.

Not sure about Alaska Airlines & #Seatac.  And it sounds like a story that could have been much sadder.  But many airlines to save money are now firing employees & using contract labor to save money on ground staff including those on tarmac. But hey, what could go wrong?

Though if a suicidal man is going to hijack a plane, glad he left the first part of the usual “murder-suicide” out of it.

 

Omarosa now says Trump repeatedly used “N-word” and other racial slurs. Is she trying to sell books, or boost Trump approval rates with MAGAers

But really, does Omarosa realize that for many Trump supporters racism is a feature, not a bug?

Do have to ask, as these tell-all books all relate what a horrible unstable racist Trump is, why did these people go to work for him in the first place?

Marco Rubio on Trump “Well, he’s had the nuclear codes for a year and a half, and we’ve been all right.”
This is like the guy who falls off the Empire State Building and at about the 20th floor is thinking “I’m gonna be all right.”