The seasons they are a changin’

Posted October 22, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Since the Indians won in 5 games there’s  was no  baseball Friday night.  Sad premonition of winter.

Although with a possible Chicago-Cleveland World Series, maybe we will have the first WS game called for snow?


NY Giants coach Ben McAdoo, on kicker Josh Brown, accused of repeated domestic violence against his ex-wife. “We’re not going to turn our back on Josh.” Hmm, based on the allegations seems like it’s women who should be careful not to turn their backs on him.

Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick says despite the Fighting Irish’s disappointing start, Brian Kelly “will lead this team out of the tunnel opening day next year.”
Of course, Swarbrick didn’t say if it would be as coach or highly-paid waterboy.

AT&T is apparently going to buy Time-Warner. Yeah, that breakup of the phone company in 1982 because they were too big and dominant has worked well.

Twitter, Amazon, Spotify and other sites were down today at times due to a major cyber attack. The horror. Millions of Americans in their offices were actually forced to work.

At first, the Trump and his campaign were a joke. But then when it looked like he had a real chance, many thought he would get serious. Then when he won the nomination, many thought he would get disciplined. Then when he began losing to Hillary Clinton, many thought he would get focused. And some STILL think that actually winning the Presidency would turn him into a statesman….

So was that #DDoS attack that took down #Twitter from Russia? As in maybe even #Putin thinking “STFU Donald, you’re kllling our chances?

For all those who are debate junkies (or just gluttons for punishment), and are worried about going through withdrawal – David Duke has just qualified in Louisiana to share the stage in the final Senate candidate debate.

The trial in the Trump University lawsuit begins Nov. 29. And Donald Trump’s lawyers want what he has said during the campaign to be excluded, saying the admission of such evidence would risk “irremediable prejudice” and a “waste of time.”
Just wondering, where do they think they will find an unbiased jury pool?


So now that we’ve run out of other important stuff to argue about in this election, we have Eric Trump, who apparently got a free water glass at In-and-Out Burger, and used it to steal lemonade. His father must be so proud of those baby steps.

Richard Branson said Donald Trump told him years ago that five people had not helped out with a bankruptcy and he was “going to spend the rest of his life destroying these five people.” Hmm, so is Donald really running for President or “Count of Monte Cristo?”


That moment when you realize that no joke you could possibly write will probably trump reality – as you hear that the Donald will be giving a major policy speech Saturday at Gettysburg.


From Marc Ragovin  “Curt Schilling said that Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer cost his team by “dicking around with a drone.” In response, Schiilling’s former ESPN Baseball Tonight partner Dan Schulman said, “Oh yeah, well I spent two years droning around with a dick”

(joke, not a real quote :))



No relief?

Posted October 21, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

FGiants bullpen has to be watching last two #NLCS #Dodgers #Cubs games & smiling “Not so easy, is it?”

Good thing for #Dodgers fans that #PedroBaez works so slowly most of them left to beat traffic and didn’t see top of 8th. #NLCS


#NLCSGame5, at #DodgerStadium in the 5th inning…there are several empty seats behind home plate? #WTF?

So by Trump logic,  since the Chicago Cubs are media darlings,  maybe the SF Giants should not accept their close NLDS games 1 and 4 losses, and show up at the World Series anyway?


Adrian Gonzalez before game 5 was still upset about that “out” call at the plate last night in the #NLCS. Tweeting today it was “Us against the world.” And yeah, it was a huge difference maker. Had the call be overturned the Dodgers would only have lost 10-3.

Although, as Bill Littlejohn says,  “Many shots of the NLCS show Larry King sitting in the background—as if the Cubs needed something else to remind them how long it’s been.”


NY Giants placekicker Josh Brown got only a one-game suspension, despite increasing evidence, including a journal given to police, that he abused his now ex-wife. Well, it’s not like he did anything really awful, like missing a game-winning kick.

The NCAA charged coach Rick Pitino has been charged with “failure to monitor” over the escort scandal at Louisville, but the university itself was not charged with any violations. Why? Presumably because, “well, it’$ Loui$ille ba$ketball.”

Apparently the new policy allowing Cuban cigars and rum to be brought back to the U.S. legally includes cigars and rum purchased on other Caribbean islands. Wonder if the rule grandfathers in such items already in the U.S. #askingforafriend.

Antonio Cromartie’s wife says that the Colts released her husband because he took a knee during the national anthem. Got news for her, if Cromartie was playing like Josh Norman and Richard Sherman, he could go down on both knees before every game.


Trump’s national political director, Jim Murphy, said today “I have not resigned but for personal reasons have had to take a step back from the campaign.”
Translation, Trump threatened to sue me if I actually quit?

In Kansas, GOP House Speaker Pro Tem Peggy Mast was bashing Planned Parenthood, and posted a video on FB today with the comment “Great quote from Hitler in the video. Please listen to it closely. His words are profound! Let’s start using discernment.” #Wearegoingtoneedabiggerbasket


Shocking. Donald Trump’s best punchline of the night at Al Smith dinner still comes at woman’s expense, in this case his wife: “The media is very biased.
Michelle Obama made a speech and everyone loves it, it’s fantastic.
My wife, Melania, gives the exact same speech. And people get on her case. And I don’t get it. I don’t know why. And it wasn’t her fault.’

Nasty women unite?

Posted October 19, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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So a close call at the plate in the Dodgers Cubs game got millions of Americans outraged before debatenight even gets started.

Meanwhile the debate ended up being about as close as the NLCS Game 4 final score.

The @Indians might just be the best baseball team America has never heard of. @ALCS


All these people claiming  Trump is acting like a child clearly didn’t discipline their children enough.

Admittedly Hillary Clinton had a huge advantage tonight.  As a  woman she’s had years of experience keeping a straight face listening to men say crazy shit.

A major U.S. Presidential candidate just said that he “will look at it at the time” regarding accepting the result of election. It’s about time to set up wind turbines atop the graves of our Founding Fathers.


Okay, so who’s going to be the first to make & sell #nastywoman t-shirts?

“Why should you vote for me for President?” Because I will accept election results & am not bat-shit crazy. Hillary  Clinton .

Does Trump realize that with all the Senators he has offended they might not want to confirm his Supreme Court  nominees either?

Trump as  sure that Hillary  got women to step forward to accuse him as he is sure Russia has had nothing to do with hacking.

All across America millions of people sitting back, pouring large drinks & saying “Did he REALLY say that about election?”

Somewhere @AlecBaldwin is getting carpal tunnel syndrome as he frantically tries to keep up taking notes for this week’s #SNL #debatenight

Wouldn’t we all pay big $$$ to see #Wikileaks leak what #Trump‘s staff says about him behind HIS back?


“Donald thinks that belittling women makes him bigger.” Line of the night #YouGoGirl #YouGoMadamePresident

So can we call #DonaldTrump the first true Creamsicle Presidential Candidate? Orange on the outside, really white on the inside.

Ohio Gov. John Kasich today: “To say that elections are rigged and all these votes are stolen, that’s like saying we never landed on the moon. That’s how silly it is.” Wait for Trump tomorrow to tweet that the moon landing was a hoax.

Condi Rice was asked in an email by CNN’s KFILE if she has a response to Donald Trump in a 2006 speech when he said “Condoleezza Rice, she’s a lovely woman, but I think she’s a bitch”
Her response: “Exactly. Can’t wait until November 9!”
Not often I say this about Rice, but #YouGoGirl.


In a recent poll, 60 percent of Americans supported the legalization of pot. And 20 percent more probably responded “Dude, what was that question again?”

Kenyan-born #MalikObama got a front-row seat to debate. So @realDonaldTrump just using another immigrant to take something from Americans.


NFL ratings are down over 11% this year. Owners are scrambling to explain it with things like the Presidential election being a distraction. And it’s possible the concussion issue is turning people off. Or maybe America has figured out there are just a lot of lousy teams.

Dez Bryant says he cut two fingers on his hand slicing carrots for soup. Amazing. Who knew Dez Bryant cooked?

Comes a time?

Posted October 18, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized

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Cubs looking tonight like this may not be their century either.


At Dodger Stadium tonight Cubs fans were chanting “We don’t quit.” I think they meant to replace the “Qu” with an “H.”

#Cubs hitters looked so lost wonder if to get in sync they’ll offer to pay #SFGiants bullpen to fly in & pitch batting practice?

Way to grow the Major League Baseball. The ALCS with Cleveland vs. Toronto is on during the day when many are at work.  And the NLCS with the Cubs vs LA is on FS1, a channel many people, and most hotels, don’t get.

Saddest thing about #NLDS is that 1 inning from #SF bullpen might have kept us from a great #Dodgers #Giants series for pennant. @MLB

About time to put pictures of the #Cubs‘ bats on milk cartons. #NLCS

If Donald Trump was a baseball coach he’d have been thrown out of the game by now.

How statesmanlike of him: John McCain “”I promise you that we will be united against any Supreme Court nominee that Hillary Clinton, if she were president, would put up.”

Scary Trump tweet of the morning. “41% of American voters believe the election could be “stolen” from DonaldTrump due to widespread voter fraud. – Politico”
What’s scariest is that Trump’s antics have convinced enough people that the tweet is accurate.

So Donald Trump is bringing President Obama’s half-brother Malik to tomorrow’s debate. Malik, 58, while still a U.S.citizen, is a Muslim who lives mostly in Kenya, has been accused of domestic violence, and has at least 3 current wives, the last who he married in 2011 when she was a teenager. Just the kind of man the Donald thinks we need more of in this country….


Bill Clinton’s accusers, Barack Obama’s half-brother…. who’s next for @realDonaldTrump to bring to debates. Anyone seen Tipper Gore lately?


Curt Schilling, upset at comparisons to his bloody sock game “Please don’t tweet at me about Bauer.He cost himself a start, likely more, AND his teammates, and fans, dicking around with a drone. #stupid

Of course there’s no comparison. Nor is there any comparison to costing the state of Rhode Island $50 million by “dicking around” with a video game company. #38Studios #stupid


For all those comedy writers worried about going through withdrawal for material after November 8; Curt Schilling announced today on Twitter he is going to run for the Senate in 2018 against Elizabeth Warren. #passthepopcorn

If #CurtSchilling runs for Senate in Massachusetts, how long until #ElizabethWarren  tells him to put a bloody sock in it?

Now Wikileaks’ Julian Assange is claiming that John Kerry cut off his internet at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. And Kerry is thinking, if we had that power don’t you think we would have done it a long time ago?

Actually it turns out Ecuador temporarily restricted Julian Assange’s internet access at their embassy. Might have been easier just to switch him to Windows 2000

So tired of “urgent” fundraising emails  ” Like this one “don’t abandon Hillary, please when she needs us most” (before the last debate.)
Right about now what Hillary really needs is for Donald just to keep talking.

Marc Ragovin “Melania says Donald should be excused for his crass remarks about women because he was egged on by Billy Bush. Hey, if you can get outwitted by Billy Bush, you iz too dumb to be president.”

Forever young at heart?

Posted October 17, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, sports jokes, texas jokes, Uncategorized

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The Nobel Prize committee says that five days after they awarded the Prize for literature to Bob Dylan, they have not yet heard from their newest laureate. Or maybe Dylan has responded and they had no idea what who he was or what he was saying?

The #Big12 today decided not to expand & will stay at 10 members. Why should conference confuse players with a tough concept like math?

Some references today to #ColinKaepernick being a “distraction” for @49ers. Because without him they would only have lost by 20 points?

Trevor Bauer, who cut himself repairing one of his drones,  was not allowed to wear even as much as a Band-Aid on his finger tonight while pitching. The stitches broke, resulting in Bauer having to leave, dripping blood, in the first inning.    Cleveland used a total of 7 pitchers, and kept the Blue Jays to 2 runs.


And that, #SFGiants fans, ladies and gentlemen, is a bullpen. #Indians #ALCS

Wonder many MLB teams are rushing to add “no drones during the season” into their contract  language..

The Los Angeles Dodgers apparently stayed at the Trump hotel in Chicago for their regular season series against the Cubs in May. But Adrian Gonalez, who is of Mexican descent, refused, saying  “I had my reasons.”

Darn, another Dodger I can’t root against.


Anyone but me really tired of pumpkin flavored everything?


Fox News’ Shep Smith has come out as gay. Shocking millions of Americans who thought he was already out.


At a Donald Trump rally in Wisconsin tonight the crowd started chanting “Paul Ryan sucks!” So is this how the Donald would propose to start his State of the Union speech?

Melania Trump said that Donald really didn’t mean the things he said to Billy Bush, but that Bush had “egged him on.” Well it’s a good thing that Putin, or Congress, would never egg Trump on while in office.

As an anonymous friend said ““My husband can’t throw footballs and grab pussies at the same time!”

Donald Trump  said #SNL should be cancelled & was “unfunny.” Uh, if unfunny on occasion was reason enough, SNL would have been cancelled years ago.

Women who have come forward about #Trump‘s groping them can take comfort, he didn’t mean it, he was just trying to impress #BillyBush.

Going long

Posted October 16, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

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Today Drew Brees threw for 465 YDS & 4 TD, and the @Saints barely won. Rumor has it there is part of an NFL game you can play called “defense.”

Latest college football rankings, #Pac12 has exactly 2 teams in the top 25. Traditional powers Washington and.. Utah?

#LARams have got to be lying awake at night wondering how they ever lost to this #49ers team. #SFvsBUF

#RudyGuiliani today said he “would have to be a moron to say” that the election “is going to be fair.” And his point is?


Lots of verbal attacks on #ColinKaerpernick in Buffalo today. Silly Bills fans. Did they realize that Kap & the 49ers might have provided the best home game entertainment they’ll see all year?. Next visitors – the Patriots.


Hard to be an #SFGiants fan watching Puig against Chapman.  No way to root for them both to fail.

Altamonte Springs, my high-school home town: A woman was arrested this week after posting video online of her son driving her car – the boy is 7 years old. Back on your game, Florida.

Never thought I’d say anything positive about Sarah Palin. But at least she had a sense of humor. Trump tweet of the day “Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me.Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!”

Whatever happens in election suppose both @HillaryClinton & @realDonaldTrump can both take credit for helping to resurrect #SNL


Trump is insisting that he has lost “large numbers of women voters based on made up events THAT NEVER HAPPENED.” But those “wonderful” and “courageous” women speaking out about Bill Clinton – their stories are 100% true….

Apparently someone threw a bottle of flammable liquid through the window of a GOP office in North Carolina. And Trump tweeted “Animals representing Hillary Clinton and Dems in North Carolina just firebombed our office in Orange County because we are winning.”
Now, Hillary decried the act, but I guess I’m missing something – if Trump’s followers are violent it’s a righteous rage, but if it’s his opponents they are animals?

This is actually really scary, according to a poll from the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. “Only about one-third of Republicans said they have a great deal or quite a bit of confidence that votes on Election Day will be counted fairly.”
But has it occurred to Trump that if Hillary really could rig an election, she’d have done it starting with the 2008 Democratic primaries?


As Trump talks about the election ” absolutely being rigged,” including at many polling placs, have to ask…. has the Donald actually BEEN to a polling place? Last time before I gave up and decided to vote by mail, the average poll workers were “mature” to say the least, and having a hard time just matching voters to their lists. Not exactly the folks you’d enlist in a complicated conspiracy.


This morning on “Meet the Press” Mike Pence ” We will absolutely accept the result of the election.” So with all the people Trump has attacked on Twitter, how long until he adds his running mate to the list?

From my friend TC, sent to him by Berney:   img_0806

The not-quite-put-up-a-fight-ing Irish?

Posted October 15, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

If Stanford could have just kept their defense on the field the whole time they might have beaten Notre Dame more decisively.

Admittedly I’m an #NL fan, but #AL fans claim they love the DH because it results in so much more offense. Uh, #ALCS, #Notexactly

Watching the Dodgers and Cubs in NLCS.  Nice I suppose to see that the SF Giants don’t have a monopoly on bullpen meltdowns.


Kylie Jenner to, “I’ve been famous for what feels like my whole life. I just want to know what it feels like not to be.”
Uh, for starters #deleteyouraccount?

Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phones, recalled over a month ago, have now basically been banned from all aircraft. But okay, if you’re smart enough to handle a smartphone how are you stupid enough still to have a Galaxy Note 7?

Donald Trump has called for drug tests before the next debate, saying that he believes Hillary must be on PEDs to get her “pumped up.” Well, actually, most Americans would love to know what the Donald might be on.

All Trump casinos are now closed. Which means you can’t even go to one to place a bet on the final number of women who will come forward to accuse the Donald of sexual assault.


#BillyBush is donating $10 million NBC severance package to women’s charities. Good to know SOMEONE has evolved since that #Trump interview.

If elections and media were really as rigged as @realDonaldTrump says, does he think he’d have gotten anywhere near nomination?

Trump’s tweet “Nothing ever happened with any of these women. Totally made up nonsense to steal the election. Nobody has more respect for women than me!”
And then will the Donald invite Bill Clinton’s accusers back to the next debate

Wow. Wikikeaks transcripts from Hillary Clintons’s speeches to Goldman Sachs indicate she didn’t directly blame Wall Street for the 2008 financial meltdown. In related news did the leaks also say water is wet?

Okay, this just released leaked Goldman Sachs from Hillary Clinton should get 100% bipartisan applause: “Look, I am of the mind that we cannot have endless campaigns “It is bad for the candidates. It’s bad for the country. I mean, part of the reason why it’s difficult to govern is because an election ends and then the next day people start jockeying.

Even if ALL Bill Clinton’s accusers were telling the truth and all Trump’s accusers were lying, which I don’t believe, Donald Trump has said and done enough to show he should never be allowed closer to the White House than his new D.C. hotel. Period.