Going, going, not quite gone.

Posted March 28, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized

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The Raiders sent out an email today to Season Ticket Holders offering to let them put down a deposit on tickets in Las Vegas.

 

Isn’t this sort of like your significant other telling you he/she is leaving you for someone else as soon as they get their home built, but she’d love to have you come to the housewarming party.

 

A Nevada brothel owner today said he will open a Raiders-themed bordello in 2020. Meaning that unlike Oakland fans, new Las Vegas fans of the team can at least get value for money while being screwed.

Average high temperature in Las Vegas in September, 95%, down from a 103% in August. But hey, fire up those grills for tailgates. #Raiders

As Raiders prepare to pack up & move, a good time to remember that #SFGiants just paid off their PRIVATELY FUNDED stadium.

Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz are likely to be the top 2 chosen in the 2017 NBA draft. Today in an interview, Ball said he can “lead a team better, and that “Markelle’s a great player, but I feel I’m better than him.”
Sounds like the apple doesn’t swagger far from the tree.

The world’s largest dinosaur footprint just found in ‘Australia’s Jurassic Park’. Was it from a pickup game involving Tim Duncan?

 

Heard a commercial for FanDuel fantasy golf. Thinking if you seriously play fantasy golf for money you just might have a gambling problem.

 

White House says Trump turned down invite from #Nationals to throw out 1st pitch Opening Day. Bummer. Would have been Bigliest boos ever.

Has it occurred to anyone in Trump administration that Mexico builds tunnels a lot faster than we could build a wall?

Bill O’Reilly insulted Maxine Waters’ hair. Can someone get Bill drunk and ask him what he really thinks of Donald Trump’s hair?

.

Johnny Carson as Carnac would do answers first, then questions. An old favorite -“UCLA.” The question – “What happens when smog clears over Los Angeles?”
Doesn’t seem so funny when Trump signs an executive order getting rid of regulations for clean-air.

President signs  EO gutting fed regulations against climate change. If global warming floods FloridaL could it please start with a Trump golf course?.

#TrumpAFamousQuote “Loving myself means never having to say I’m sorry.”

Supreme Court ruled 9-0 w/ Paula Jones & Clinton that Pres could be sued. Trump now filing motion to overturn. #Fakecourt tweet in 3.2.1…

CNN reports Sean Spicer refused to say who signed Nunes onto the White House grounds late at night, “as would be required protocol.”
Standby for the Trump Executive Order outlawing “required protocol.”

The GAO (Government Accountability Office) is apparently going to look into security costs for Trump’s Mar-A-Lago trips and see if he, as promised, is paying the treasury for profits his hotels make from foreign government visits.
Standby for Trump signing an EO to defund the GAO in 3.2.1….

Quote of the day “There was a very serious effort made by Mr. Putin and his government, his organization, to interfere in major ways with our basic, fundamental democratic processes. In some quarters that would be considered an act of war.”
But who listens to crazy liberals like Dick Cheney?

 

Checkpoint Charlie museum honors those who died trying to scale the Berlin wall for a better life. Will Mexico build museum if Trump ever builds his wall?

 

 

Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz are likely to be the top 2 chosen in the 2017 NBA draft. Today in an interview, Ball said he can “lead a team better, and that “Markelle’s a great player, but I feel I’m better than him.”
Sounds like the apple doesn’t swagger far from the tree.

Cavalier treatment

Posted March 27, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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It’s beginning to look possible that even without Tim Duncan the San Antonio Spurs are a pretty good basketball team.

(San Antonio 103- Cleveland 74.)

San Antonio assistant coach Becky Hammon apparently turned down the head coaching job with the women’s basketball team at the University of Florida. Clearly the idea of a woman coach staying in their locker room didn’t hurt the Spurs too badly tonight against the Cavs.

 

Looking at way UConn women are cutting a swath through their NCAA tournament you almost wonder if they should have been seeded w/ the men.

#Raiders moving to Vegas. Still may be cheaper for Oakland fans to fly to Las Vegas for a game than buy tickets in #Warriors new SF arena.

Jed York, on the Raiders move “I don’t think it’s a big win for the 49ers.” Well, yeah, Oakland fans have gotten used to watching a professional team.

Only vote against #Raiders move came from #Dolphins. Did Miami owner have dreams of moving to Vegas himself?

 

Being a San Francisco Bay Area fan of the Saints and Spurs, there are some advantages: Teams can’t break your heart by moving out of town. The SF Giants on the other hand, better stay put.

Cleveland LT Joe Thomas says no one has signed Colin Kaepernick for this year because he’s a “distraction.” Hmm, the way the Browns play guessing their fans could use all the distractions they can get.

Now it comes out that Nunes says he was on the White House grounds the day before revealing Trump surveillance info. because he was just looking for a safe place to go over the information.
If this were a movie script it might be rejected as too unbelievable.

I will believe airlines have a real dress code first time they kick some man off flight for wearing inappropriate clothing

The Dow is down for an 8th straight day. #WWTB – Who will Trump blame?

The Trump administration wants $1 billion funding just to cover 62 miles of their proposed border wall. $1 billion?! All of a sudden California’s proposed high-speed rail is looking like a bargain.

Jeff Sessions says “sanctuary cities must end.” So anyone who wants protection after committing a crime better join Trump administration.

Now Tomi Lahren has been suspended permanently from the Blaze for saying she was pro-choice. So has her slippery slope to liberalism begun?

In Russia, opposition leader Alexei Navalny was sentenced today Monday to 15 days in jail and fined $350 for leading anti-govt protests in Moscow. Wonder if Trump has called Putin saying “How do you do that?”

Maybe you should dance like there’s nobody watching. but that doesn’t mean you should govern that way.

What were the odds?

Posted March 27, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Roger Goodell seems to be so much in favor ot the #Raiders going to #LasVegas you almost wonder what kind of odds he got on the move.

Didn’t really care between #SouthCarolina & #Florida. But going to miss watching Canyon Barry shoot underhanded free throws. @NBA take note

This year’s Final Four features all teams from coastal states – Washington, Oregon and the Carolinas. No team from the Midwest or Kentucky.  Is this somehow still  Obama’s fault?

 

In Lexington, University of Kentucky students rioted after losing their Elite 8 March Madness game by lighting things on fire and chanting “f–k UNC” Just imagine what they might have done if the Wildcats had won?

=

Tara Vanderveer would probably think coaching #Stanford men’s basketball would be at best a lateral move, but Cardinal could use her. #WomensFinalFour

United denied boarding to girls wearing… leggings?  But hey, it’s an about an  offensive look they should refuse many male tourists boarding in shorts.

And okay, I get it, the girls were employee children and there is a dress code when using free tickets. But United’s Twitter feed didn’t try to strike a conciliatory or explanatory town, just doubled down on the airline’s “conditions of carriage”  #wannagetaway?

Whoever is running #United‘s Twitter account is doing a good enough PR job to be considered for position as assistant to Sean Spicer

 

Uber halted self-driving car testing in Phoenix following crash involving 1 of their SUVs. Cars still probably safer than most snowbirds.

15 people shot, 1 fatally in #Cincinnati. Not terrorism, just a good old-fashioned American night with guns. Move along nothing to see here.

John Kasich on a possible 2020 Presidential run “I’m not really interested in running for political office again. You don’t close the door on anything, but I don’t have my eyes on that.”
Translation, only if I think I can win.

Wait, Kellyanne Conway gets called out on ethics violations, justifiably for promoting Ivanka’s clothes & then President tells us to “Watch @JudgeJeanine on @FoxNews?” #WTF

Reince Priebus “I think it’s time to potentially get a few moderate Democrats on board as well.” Does he think they’ll be easier to bully?

Now talk of Trump trying to work w/ Dems. Yeah, it’s going to go real well when Bannon says “You have no choice you have to vote for this bill.”

An ill wind

Posted March 26, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

The #1 seed Jayhawks, who’d breezed through their first three games,  were upset in basically a home game in Kansas City by Oregon.  Last time things were so unexpectedly turned around for Kansas, a tornado and witches were involved.

So two of the Final Four men’s basketball teams  are from the West Coast. Are we sure this result can’t be negated by the electoral college?

Xavier vs Gonzaga and Kansas vs Oregon for berths in Final Four and the games were on… TBS?   This is the same television brilliance MLB uses to grow their fan base.

Another disappointing night for NBA fans, the #Knicks weren’t resting their starters

Knicks center Joakim Noah, who hasn’t played in over a month, was suspended 20 games by the NBA for a banned supplement. Well, Barnum & Bailey Ringling Bros may be gone, but the circus is alive and well at Madison Square Garden..

(and then after the Knicks outscored the Spurs by 14 in the 3rd to cut the lead to 4…. well, anyone but me want to hear what Popovich really said to his team during the break?)

Roger Goodell in a letter to Oakland’s mayor said he thinks the city has yet to find “a viable solution” to keeping the Raiders. And then no doubt when the 3rd NFL team moves in the last two years Goodell will no doubt proclaim the importance of fan loyalty.

Oops, ads congratulating GOP on repealing Obamacare actually aired last night. Did they also congratulate Super Bowl Champ Atlanta Falcons?

Kris Jenner is apparently shopping a new Kardashian cartoon. Wait, aren’t the Kardashians already a cartoon?

A man was taken into custody after shooting two people, one fatally, on a bus in Las Vegas today, shutting down the Strip for hours. Police say it was not terrorism. But the horror, thousands of people couldn’t get to their sports books and slot machines.

Trump tweet “ObamaCare will explode and we will all get together and piece together a great healthcare plan for THE PEOPLE. Do not worry!”
Just wondering, now that he’s in charge, why didn’t Trump offer that “great healthcare plan” the first time?

Dems & GOP now both realizing, it’s a lot easier to be united against legislation than it is actually to craft such legislation.

Trump “we learned a lot about loyalty.” Yep, Amazing thing, when you throw people under buses they don’t usually recover & bring you flowers.

As Ivanka moves into White House office wonder again how many voted against Hillary thinking  one family shouldn’t have that much power.

Joe Biden, on his decision not to run:, “I regret not being President right now.”

And millions of Americans are thinking “Not as much as WE regret you not being President right now.”

Mike Pence said today Trump “won’t rest” until Obamacare is dismantled. Right and Trump’s time on the golf course will be as helpful as OJ’s was in his search for the real killers.

Trump loves celebrities and social media. But maybe he shouldn’t have used Charlie Sheen as a role model for #Winning?

Healthcare bridge, one no Trump?

Posted March 24, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Lonzo says he is one-and-done at UCLA. In related news, Trumpcare never had a realistic chance and water is wet.

Meanwhile, the only exciting game out of Friday night’s Sweet Sixteen matchups – Wisconsin vs Florida – finished after midnight on the east coast.  So maybe NCAA with basketball really is considering themselves a major professional sport.

Pirates infielder Jung Ho Kang may miss the 2017 MLB season due to his being denied a US visa, possibly due to a DUI arrest. Yep, if you want to be a star athlete who drinks and drives, you better be born here in the USA.

Today is #NationalCheesesteakDay To be followed tomorrow by National EKG day?

USA Today reports that Baywatch’s David Hasselhoff now has his own cruise will host a five-night “fan cruise” this Fall on Costa Cruises. Think someone could manage to push him into a lifeboat?

Former Penn State president Graham Spanier was convicted today of one count of child endangerment. He had chosen not to report Sandusky to the state Department of Public Welfare, despite the report from Mike McQueary about seeing him in the showers with a young boy. Apparently Spanier plans to appeal. On what grounds? That he thought he was running a Catholic university?

CNN reports Trump aide says President “agitated” by Trumpcare bill process which he thinks is all “political.”   Hello…it’s politics.

GOP just changed their Trumpcare Facebook status to “It’s complicated.”

Is even Paul Ryan starting to think he might have been better off with Hillary in the White House

 

If GOP willing to eliminate all gender based healthcare from coverage with Trumpcare we could talk. Prostrate exams & ED drugs to start.

Curiously enough, pulling out is also the GOP’s new birth control strategy. #KilltheBill

Sean Spicer  “If you’re an older man, you can generally say you’re not going to need maternity care.” So how old was Trump when Barron was born?

Right about now, Obama might be forgiven a small smirk.

Paul Ryan “We’re going to be living w/ Obamacare for the foreseeable future.” Well, better than dying w/ Trumpcare in the foreseeable future.

While Dems celebrate, if some party leaders or wannabe leaders have ideas to tweak Obamacare, it  would be excellent time to put them forward.

Amazing that Trump just didn’t rename #Obamacare & take the credit. Though no doubt that’s his plan B.

 

Trump today “when you get no votes from the other side, it’s a very difficult situation.” And how big is @BarackObama’s smile right now?

You’d think with such small hands Trump wouldn’t be so quick to point his small fingers?

 

Thinking Ryan had a lot more fun when he could blame all the GOP failures on Obama.

Latest leak #fakenews CNN reports Trump is upset that his son-in-law and senior adviser was not around during this crucial week.” (Jared and family were skiing in Aspen.)
Actually this one has the ring of truth, if Trump is angry, it wouldn’t be at himself, or heaven forbid his perfect daughter.

Trump now to a Wash Post reporter “As you know, I’ve been saying for years that the best thing is to let Obamacare explode and then go make a deal with the Democrats and have one unified deal.”

So if that’s the best thing, why have wasted all this precious time and effort trying to get Trumpcare through? Why not have used the HUGE power of the Presidency to tell Ryan to stand down weeks ago? #alternativerationalizations

Long time

Posted March 23, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: GOP jokes, March madness jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

San Antonio Spurs tonight paid tribute to WWII vet Richard Overton, who at 110 years old is the oldest living veteran. And one of the few men alive who remembers Tim Duncan’s rookie year.

A five minute plus instant replay stoppage w/ 1:59 left in #WestVirginia #Gonzaga game making fans long for crisp speed of MLB instant replay

The Oakland As are offering a free cap to any fan who trades in any SF Giants cap. Well, if someone wants a hat in better condition – .A’s caps ARE less likely to be worn out from being worn through the playoffs.

 

When you do not score in the last 2:52 of the 2nd half, it’s pretty hard to win a Sweet Sixteen game. #Arizona #Xavier #marchmadness

#ESPN allowing people who regret their #MarchMadness choices to do a “Second Chance Bracket.” Any way we can do that for the US election?

Matt Barnes, now with the Warriors about playing his former team the Sacramento Kings Friday. “I’m trying to kill them Plain and simple. Things didn’t go well there.”
Great statement from a player with an arrest history now facing a 2017 trial for domestic violence.

Patriots to visit White House on April 19. Wouldn’t it be simpler to invite Kraft, Brady & anyone else who wants to attend to Maralago?

Theresa May opens parliament as usual. #WeAreNotAfraid trending. Well played London, well played.

Fortune magazine names  Theo Epstein greatest leader in world. So is everyone connected with 3-time WS Champion @SFGiants chopped liver?

Trumpcare did not come to a vote today due to lack of GOP support. Can’t wait to see how they’re going to blame this on Obama.

New poll showed today only 17% of Americans support  Trumpcare. Wow. Didn’t know that many people worked for insurance companies.

#NYTimes – Trump says privately he regrets going along w/ Ryan for quick healthcare reform. Because nothing EVER is @realDonaldTrump’s fault

 

Fox News headline says Trumpcare is “on life support.” Well, life support no doubt won’t be covered going forward either.

Trumpcare to exclude preventive care maternity care & pediatric care. While GOP defunds Planned Parenthood. Again 4 words -Pro life my ass.

More populism at its finest. The House today just voted to strike down privacy rules that kept internet providers like AT&T and Comcast from selling your web browsing history without permission.
Make Advertisers Great Again?! #SMH

In Kentucky, a 4-year old is dead after he accidentally shot himself with a gun that the boy’s uncle, a police officer, had left in his truck. #Ifonlyhewerearmed

 

Washington Post reports that the OMB turned down the Secret Service request for an additional $60 million this year to handle security for Trump & his family. Which means per the Post “the agency will likely have to divert other spending to handle the additional burden..
No worries, the only other duties of the agency involve things like cyber crime, credit card/identity fraud. and cases involving missing/exploited minors. Do we feel great again yet?

 

Whatever Happened To … waking up in the morning and not saying “Our President said WHAT?”

From Marc Ragovin, one more on Chuck Barris – “RIP Chuck Barris: Gong but not forgotten.”

Keep calm and f*ck terrorism

Posted March 22, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, travel jokes, Trump jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

lego

 

 

My favorite city in the world. And yes I would go back tomorrow. If we stop traveling the bad guys win.

This mural, btw,  is made completely out of Lego, in the London store – Leicester Square.

Wow. A reasonable and measured response. Maybe the rumors that Tillerson won’t last long as Secretary of State in this administration are true. “We condemn these horrific acts of violence, and whether they were carried out by troubled individuals or by terrorists, the victims know no difference,”

It’s always awful when innocent people are hurt. But Britain has very tight gun laws, at least London assailant wasn’t armed.

 

Four murdered, including a police officer, until the suspect himself was shot by police. Not just London, but today in Wisconsin. The suspect is an American man with a gun. Move along, nothing to see here.

CNN reports FBI has information indicating Trump campaign associates communicated “with suspected Russian operatives to possibly coordinate the release of information damaging to Hillary Clinton’s campaign.”
#Fakenews tweet from Donald in 3.2.1….

Ghanaian Soccer player Mohammed Anas, who made headlines when he thanked his wife AND girlfriend during an interview now says “My family knows that I call my daughter my girlfriend. That’s what I was talking about. I don’t have a girlfriend.”
Is Anas trying for a post in the Trump administration?

Trumpcare will not have a requirement to cover mental health. While Congress also reduces gun regulations. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Puerto Rico has seen enough of Brandon Crawford.  Late in tonight’s game what they really wanted to see is the 2016 SF Giants’ bullpen. #WBC

Just guessing  Ian Kinsler, who hit a home run after bashing Puerto Rico’s style of play, might want to plan his next Caribbean vacation somewhere other than San Juan?

Almost didn’t recognize Dodger Stadium for #WBC championship tonight. Stands were basically full in first inning. @espn

#BeckyHammon is apparently a finalist for the head coaching job at Florida. Alas it’s the women’s team. She can coach men. @Spurs

Roger Goodell says that the NFL will address when a commercial is followed by a kickoff and then followed by another commercial. “I hate that, too. Our goal is to eliminate it.”
By just running longer commercials after kickoffs?