Don’t wait until next year.

Posted September 29, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

In New York tonight before the game with the Red Sox the Yankees announced that they “would like to put the rivalry aside for a few minutes and honor David Ortiz.”   A nice gesture, even if what they are really honoring is Big Papi’s decision to retire.

Forget Tim Tebow, the guy who may have a real future in baseball is John Kilichowski. a minor league pitcher from Vanderbilt who gave up Tebow’s first AB home run – this was his tweet: “I thought we agreed you were taking first pitch @TimTebow”

Knott’s Berry Farm and California’s Great America pulled the plug on their new FearVR experience. The attraction had people wear virtual reality googles that made them feel like they were in a mental hospital along with a dangerous fellow patient.
The real question – who thought this was a good idea???

Alabama senior LB Tim Williams, a top draft prospect who has started every game, was arrested this morning for allegedly carrying a pistol without a permit. What a shame this didn’t happen last week, so Nick Saban could have suspended Williams for the first half of the Kent State game.

USA Today has never endorsed a candidate for President in their history. Today they wrote an editorial “Don’t vote for Trump.”  So let’s see, the Donald will be revoking their press credentials for his events in 3.2.1….

 

 

So is #GaryJohnson trying to prove he’s the reincarnation of Admiral Stockdale running for President?

At the University of Missouri, the Delta Upsilon frat has been suspended after individuals inside their house were allegedly shouting out the windows at members of the Legion of Black Collegians” with taunts, obscenities and racial slurs.
Once again, in the U.S. people are free to think bigoted thoughts, but how could they be so clueless these days to think publicizing it was a good idea. #educationmightfixsomeprejudices but #cantfixstupid

 

Clearly election is over w/ news that Bill & Hillary after they left the White House spent money to set up illegal business in #Cuba. Oh wait, never mind.

Sad story from New Jersey with the train crash. Officials say “after an initial evaluation of the scene, it appears that the event may have been accidental and not related to terrorism.”
Reminding us again, that as much as we fear terrorists sometimes, our real risks are more often mundane things like infrastructure failure and human error.

Hillary Clinton tweeted out a sympathy message to those affected by the New Jersey train crash this morning, Donald Trump followed about an hour later. Was that how long it took for him to decide it wasn’t terrorism

Last night in Iowa, Donald Trump “Raise your hand if you’re not a Christian conservative. I want to see this, right? Oh there’s a a couple people, that’s all right. I think we’ll keep them, right? Should we keep them in the room, yes? I think so.”
New hashtag #ifyouarenotscaredyouarenotpayingattention

Rumors are that #DonaldTrump might ask #ChrisChristie to help him before the 2nd debate. So are there bridges to be closed in St. Louis?

 

Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway complained to Megyn Kelly that Hillary Clinton was targeting Trump with negative ads and using comments he made about women ‘25 years ago’.
But of course it’s perfectly acceptable for Trump to talk about Bill Clinton’s behavior with women 25-35 years ago.

 

Alex Kaseberg, after New Englands QB Tom Brady was spotted sunbathing nude in Italy with Giselle while serving his Deflategate suspension: “In a related story, players all over the league began deflating footballs.”

 

 

From T.C.  “The Donald says that he won the debate on Monday night. That coincides with the Falcons and Saints claiming that “Defense” was the difference on their football game.”

A plague on both your houses?

Posted September 28, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Colin Kaepernick after Monday’s Presidential debate said “Both are proven liars and it almost seems like they’re trying to debate who’s less racist.”
Well, suppose it’s a good thing there’s no chance the SF 49ers will be making a White House visit any time soon.

 

Could someone inform the #SFGiants that if you score 12 runs in 2 games it’s not a bad idea to split them up?

Matt Duffy apparently stopped by the #SFGiants clubhouse today. Could he lend the team #Skeeter?

Interesting point on bullpens in the postseason made by Tom Verducci in SI.com today – the percentage games won by relief pitchers in the regular season and then in post season: 1965-68 – 26.8% and 8%. 1995-98 – 30.0% and 35.4%. 2012-2015 – 30.4% and 41.3%.
Of course Madbum in 2014 was both a starter AND a reliever. #SFGiants

Arguing that being banned from baseball didn’t mean its Hall of Fame, Pete Rose apparently has made a direct appeal to the Hall to restore his eligibility. Wonder what his odds are?

A fan who proposed to his girlfriend at Yankee Stadium during a Red Sox Yankees game had to hunt in the seats for the ring which he dropped as he dropped to a knee. Fortunately the ring was found and she said yes. Did the happy couple get an autographed ball from Starlin Castro?

(for those going, huh?, Castro is not known for his defense.)

If @realDonaldTrump bails on the next two debates will @HillaryClinton try to borrow Clint Eastwood’s chair?

Some say that @realDonaldTrump will learn from his mistakes in 1st debate. That assumes that Trump actually ever thinks he makes mistakes.

Now Donald Trump, Jr. is praising his father’s “courage” for not mentioning Bill Clinton’s cheating on Monday night “out of respect for Chelsea.”
Right, so anyone want to start a pool on how many times the thrice-married Trump and his family will congratulate themselves for not mentioning infidelity?

 

Gary Johnson was asked today to name his favorite foreign leader, and he couldn’t do it, finally admitting “I’m having a brain freeze.” So what’s Johnson’s plan after the election, running for Governor of Texas?

It’s too easy as a U.S.woman to criticize Gary Johnson for not being able to name his favorite foreign leader  Justin Trudeau.  Next question?

So with Arizona Republic, the Dallas Morning News and the CIncinnati Enquirer breaking with long tradition and joining more liberal papers to endorse a Democrat for President, wonder if Trump’s plan if elected will be to eliminate all press credentials.

Ready?

Posted September 28, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Chuck Todd said that last night Hillary Clinton “seemed over-prepared at times.” Well, the next time Todd needs to see a doctor or a lawyer, trust he will look for one who didn’t spend too much time studying.

Whatever you think of last night’s #debate, remember that online polls are as accurate in determining winners as #MLB #AllStarGame voting.

 

Toronto relief pitcher Joaquin Benoit tripped running out of the bullpen to join a brawl against the Yankees. Today the Blue Jays announced he tore his left calf and will miss at least the rest of the regular season. Ah yes, yet another casualty of testosterone poisoning.

That moment you know you’ve raised your son right – when he asks you if last night felt like watching Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs.

 

Waiting for Sarah Palin to opine that Donald Trump’s deciding to participate in the next two debates would be “the worthless, easy path; that’s a quitter’s way out.”

Donald Trump about last night “They gave me a defective mic.” So the Donald expects Americans to trust him to handle challenges like the economy, foreign affairs and terrorism, and he can’t even handle perceived challenges with equipment?

 

So @RealDonaldTrump is complaining about microphone because it didn’t translate what he said into words that sounded presidential?

 

 

Last night Trump said Lester Holt did a “great job,” today he claimed that Holt “gave me some very unfair questions.” Is consistency part of that temperament the Donald brags about?

Just imagine the reaction if @HillaryClinton had said last night she didn’t pay federal taxes because “I’m smart.” #Trump #misogyny #debate

 

Rudy Giuliani said that because Hillary Clinton didn’t know immediately that Monica was telling the truth and Bill was lying that Hillary is “too stupid to be President.”
So that’s why Rudy divorced his first two wives, because they were too stupid to know he was cheating on them?

Two bomb explosions in Dresden, Germany today. Once again, proof that the West shouldn’t accept Mid-East refugees. Oh, wait, they were at a conference center for Unity Day and at a mosque. Move along, nothing to see here.

Finally, a quote from Gregg Popovich, on athletes speaking out about race etc. ” If it’s not your daily experience, you don’t understand it. I didn’t talk to my kids about how to act in front of a policeman when you get stopped. I didn’t have to do that. All of my black friends have done that. There’s something that’s wrong about that, and we all know that. What’s the solution?” 

Go Spurs.

 

 

That guy

Posted September 26, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Donald Trump is acting like the drunk guy in the sports bar who can’t stand when a woman knows more about sports than he does.

 

“I have a much better temperament than she does.” That did it for everyone who said they weren’t going to drink on a week night.

Donald Trump blowing a gasket as he talks about having a much better temperament. #Youcannotmakethisstuffup

Nor this “My father only gave me a very small loan.” Right, only $1 million.

 

Thinking after tonight that the #2016presidentialelection may have the biggest gender gap in history. #womenallhaveknownthatasshole.

“Yes I did” prepare for the debate. “And I prepared to be President.” Hillary Clinton. #debatenight

Did someone ever teach #Trump that it’s bad manners to interrupt?

“If I don’t get to Pennsylvania Avenue one way…” Trump should tell contractors to start getting penthouse suite at the Washington, D.C. Trump hotel ready for him.

Hillary Clinton: “Implicit bias is a problem for all of us” Sounds like a President to me

 

“Donald, I know you live in your own reality, but these are the facts.”

“He tried to switch from looks to stamina….” #YougoGirl #HillaryClinton #debatenight

 

So as expected, a candidate is sniffling & needing to drink water. Clearly we should worry about the health of #DonaldTrump #debatenight

Trump sipping water regularly. He is 70 years old. What is he hiding about his health? #debatenight

 

Mike Pence says he’s spending “a little bit of time” and doing “a little bit of studying” preparing for next week’s debate. “Little bits?” Is the guy trying to be V.P. or make a college football team.

#Saints defense tonight is worse than #DonaldTrump defending his taxes. #MNF #Debatenight

 

Today’s mass shooting in Houston apparently left 9 injured and so far only the alleged gunman dead. Police are not releasing his name except to say “he is a lawyer and there were issues concerning his law firm.”
Alright then, can we start profiling all lawyers?

Trump’s tweet yesterday “Five people killed in Washington State by a Middle Eastern immigrant.”
So I am waiting for today’s tweet. “Nine people shot in Texas by an Oklahoma ex-frat boy lawyer.”

Regarding today’s mass shooting in Houston, what color #Skittles are lawyers?

Former Cowboys DE Greg Hardy was arrested again, this time early this morning on a cocaine possession charge in Texas. So congrats to all those who had Sept 26 in the pool.

The Marlins’ Dee Gordon, hit his first home run of the year, after taking a pitch right-handed in honor of #JoseFernandez “”I told the boys if I don’t believe in God, I might as well start. I never hit a ball that far, even in BP.”

and leaving snark aside, really lovely. Well played Marlins, sadly well played.

Tea and lemonade and sympathy.

Posted September 25, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Bummer. RIP #ArnoldPalmer, 87. For younger generation who think golf started with Tiger Woods, Arnold was much more than name of a drink.

And then to put baseball in perspective, this just sucks, RIP  Jose Fernandez, 24.

Today’s “how low can you go” Twitter award, Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz “for all who will kneel during the anthem today — just remember how Jose Fernandez risked his life just for the chance to stand for it.”

 

You’d think at least once in MLB season that a team could win after trailing entering 9th. So far with 2016 #SFGiants you would think wrong.

 

Whatever happens to the #SFGiants this year, at least they are staying in the playoff picture longer than the #Yankees. #smallmercies

Les Miles has been fired by LSU. What a shame for all those 12 year olds who were expecting a scholarship offer this year.

Starting to look like the #49ers will soon start hoping for more post game questions about Colin Kaepernick’s kneeling and less about their play on the field.

Jim Harbaugh, on some of his Michigan players raising fists during the National Anthem: “I’ve been thinking a lot about this over the last four, five, six weeks ..Because I am the football coach doesn’t mean I can dictate to people what they believe. I support our guys.”
Good for Harbaugh, although have to wonder if he thought but didn’t say “As long as they keep winning…”

 

North Carolina has a new law taking effect next weekend which says police bodycam videos will no longer be public record. Individual law enforcement agencies will have the power to release or not release footage. So the state is terrified of transgenders in bathrooms but not about civilians being unjustly shot?

Ken Starr yesterday said a “grave injustice was done to Art Briles” the former Baylor football coach, by the media over Briles’ handling of sexual assault allegations against some of his team..
Right, heaven forbid a university fire a coach when women get raped by his players. It’s not like he had consensual sex with an intern….

Leaving aside the fact that many great leaders have had incredIbly messy personal lives, it’s amazing to watch so many people declare that whatever reasons Hillary has had for staying in her marriage must be much worse than those Trump has had for leaving two of his.

 

Now the Trump campaign, says they are really not inviting Gennifer Flowers to Monday’s debate, despite the Donald’s tweet saying he was considering it. Translation, somebody reminded Trump that women vote?

Now that Trump isn’t bringing Gennifer Flowers to the debate, there’s an empty chair? So let’s see, Ann Coulter, Ted Nugent, Scott Baio are available. Or maybe the Donald can go Clint Eastwood for the night?

Hillary Clinton is 5’4″, Donald Trump is 6’3″, but apparently Hillary will have a slightly raised podium Monday night to make the height difference appear less. No doubt another excuse for the Donald to claim the debate is rigged.

 

#Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway says that the Donald is “the Babe Ruth of debating.” WTF? The Sultan of Naught?

Long ago, and oh so far away…

Posted September 24, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

The Dodgers honored Vin Scully and his 67 years of broadcasting last night. 67 years?! Wow. That almost goes back to Jamie Moyer’s rookie season

 

After 38-35 loss in South Bend to Duke, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly said “every position will be evaluated.” Including his own?

 

So Stanford coach David Shaw was just toying with Stanford fans and hiding his real offensive plan against UCLA until 2 minutes left in 4th quarter? 

The Phillies took a 10-0 lead, and hung on for a 10-8 win against the Mets. The Giants took a 6-0 lead and needed extra innings to beat the Padres. Another installment in “Who really doesn’t want to be a Wild Card.”

 

If manic depression sponsored a baseball team it would be the 2016 SF Giants

And for those who think Americans deciding “Who do we hate least?” is confined to politics, Duke just upset Notre Dame in college football.

USC led by 10 points early in the fourth quarter and lost to Utah Friday night. So what’s with the Trojans? Have they given up now that the Rams have brought real pro football back to Los Angeles?

 

Kent State got $1.5 million for playing Alabama today. But heaven help the football players if they get back home and boosters try to buy them dinner and/or a beer to drown their sorrows. #whatswrongwiththispicture?

#NYTimes endorsed #HillaryClinton. Presumably next to the headline “Water is wet.”

Donald Trump has invited Gennifer Flowers to the first debate. Because the Donald didn’t have enough seats for all his ex-lovers and wives?

Some Hillary haters are trying to spin her and Bill Clinton’s having attended Trump’s latest wedding as another sign of her duplicity. But don’t we all have friends and acquaintances we might hang out with on occasion, but who we wouldn’t want running our neighborhood association let alone the country

 

Last week’s mall attack, 10 people attacked, only fatality was the suspect. Friday night, five dead. This is not the “well-regulated militia” our founding fathers had in mind.

Approaching MLB’s regular season last weak….

Posted September 23, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Whatever you think of Wild Cards in #MLB, without them there might not be a single game that would matter for last week of the season.

Okay, the #SFGiants have about 100 pitchers in their bullpen and in a one-run game in the 5th they turn it over to Matt Reynolds? #WTF?

New England QB Jacoby Brissett has a thumb injury. Gosh, hope the #Patriots have someone in mind as a  long-term possible replacement.

The Raiders’ Marquette King was fined over $18K for horse collar tackle last week. King is the team’s PUNTER. Wonder if he’s going to frame the NFL fine notice?

#KevinGarnett announced his retirement today. “The first time is the hardest” said Brett Favre.

Colin Kaepernick is on the cover of Time Magazine. Whatever you think of his protest nice to see an NFL player getting this much off-field media attention without his own arrest being involved.

Backup Seattle catcher Steve Clevenger has been suspended for tweeting about Charlotte: “BLM is pathetic once again! Obama you are pathetic! Everyone involved should be behind bars like animals!”
Clevenger has apologized and said he is not racist. But have to think the Mariners suspended him not just for racism but stupidity.

The Ohio county chair for Donald Trump’s who said “I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected” has resigned. Wonder if she’s already gotten a job offer from Fox News?

Does the #Patriots 3-0 start officially eliminate #TomBrady from this year’s NFL MVP competition?

So Ted Cruz has now endorsed Donald Trump and Kim Kardashian says after a long talk with Caitlyn that she’s on the fence. #Wearegoingtoneedabiggerbasket

#TedCruz thought that Americans would elect him to stand up to our enemies? In the end, he couldn’t even stand up to #Trump

 

Bruce Springsteen called Donald Trump “a moron.”   Chris Christie hasn’t felt so conflicted since he had to choose between the last two doughnuts on a plate.

#Trump tweeted out today “This is more than a campaign- it is a movement.” Uh, yeah, he left out a word – bowel.

A thought about tweets that get people in trouble. Yes, I get that it’s hard to say exactly what you mean in 140 characters. But if you’re a public figure without the gift of being succinct, maybe stick to Facebook?

 

#DonaldTrump called #TedCruz “the worst liar he’s ever known.” #Cruz called #Trump a “pathological liar.” Credit where credit is due.

To put this in sports terms, this is like them deciding to root for the Browns over the Bengals:
“The Cincinnati Enquirer has supported Republicans for president for almost a century — a tradition this editorial board doesn’t take lightly. But this is not a traditional race, and these are not traditional times.
Our country needs calm, thoughtful leadership to deal with the challenges we face at home and abroad. We need a leader who will bring out the best in all Americans, not the worst.
That’s why there is only one choice when we elect a president in November: Hillary Clinton.”

Here we go again. Another mass shooting, this time at a mall in the state of Washington. The alleged suspect is a reportedly a Hispanic male. So if true he’s mentally ill, not a terrorist. Unless he is an immigrant….. Sigh.