Just the way they are.

Posted May 30, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: ,

Watching  Oklahoma Thunder with a 13 point lead just made many of us curious how they would choke it away this time.

Why do I get the feeling the ‪#‎Cleveland‬ ‪#‎Cavaliers‬ enjoyed the heck out of this ‪#‎Game7‬?

Although in  Cleveland they were really rooting for at least triple-overtime with ‪#‎OKCvsGSW‬ game 7. That and one more flagrant foul from Draymond Green to get him suspended.

 

#‎Spurs‬ have to be wondering, with all their teamwork, how did they ever lose to this bunch of talented selfish clowns. ‪#‎Thunder‬ ‪#‎Game7‬

Spurs also have to wonder if it’s too soon to send Kevin Durant a first date rose.

 

Two floor seats for tonight’s game 7 between Golden State and Oklahoma City went for $29K each. $29 thousand just to watch a game? Most of the Thunder late in the 4th quarter of game 6 got paid for that.

 

#‎SJSharks‬ made a valiant effort tying things up in the 2nd period.  But they did their best late in 1st to make it easier on SF Bay Area fans deciding whether to watch ‪#‎StanleyCup‬ or ‪#‎OKCvsGSW‬ ‪#‎Game7‬

Demar DeRozan says he wants to stay, and Bismack Biyombo is apparently open to taking ‘hometown discount’ to stay in Toronto. The question is whether the Raptors can get another star.
Of course, with the US election Canada might be looking better and better…

Donald Trump attacked New Mexico Gov, Susana Martinez for “not doing her job.” Well, that’s just because she’s a Democrat. Oh wait, never mind…

According to the Washington Post, Texas has sued the Federal Government 41 times since Obama took office. So here’s a solution to a lot of things -let them secede, and let Trump bury the hatchet with Ted Cruz so they can run for president and VP of the new country. ‪#‎Madematchinheaven‬ …. or somewhere.

The Marlins’ Derek Dietrich apparently escaped serious injury when he was struck in the head by a foul ball while sitting in the dugout. Hope he wasn’t texting at the time.

Former MLB pitcher Spaceman Lee is running for Gov. of Vermont, on the Liberty Union (socialist) Party ticket. Lee’s issues – marijuana legalization and single-payer healthcare. And bringing the Expos back to Montreal. Well, that’s a whole lot more of a coherent platform than Trump started out with. Or still has.

So is there a Prius ad in ‪#‎AlexanderRossi‬‘s future? ‪#‎whoneedsgas‬? ‪#‎Indy500‬

Have to love rookie ‪#‎Indy500‬ winner Alexander Rossi who won the race on fumes. “I have no idea how we pulled this off.”. ‪#‎honesty‬

Lots of ads and emails – “Last Day of Memorial Day Sale.”. To be followed Tuesday by “First Day of Fourth of July Sale?”

 

A eight-hour internet server failure at JFK Terminal 7 meant that thousands of people had to be manually checked in yesterday, and many were stranded for hours. Terminal 7 was shared between British Airways and United until United moved to Newark last year.
So, yes, they said it couldn’t be done. But there are worse things than flying out of Newark..

Gentlemen, coast your engines…

Posted May 29, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, holiday jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Alexander Rossi, who won the Indianapolis 500, decided not to pit late, so was running on fumes and literally coasting as he finished the race. So how many men will start explaining running out of gas to their wives and girlfriends – “Really, I was just trying to emulate an Indy driver.”

Auto racing is weird. How many other sports have the “highlights” later basically be a blooper tape? ‪#‎crashes‬ ‪#‎Indy500‬

Ah for the good old days, when on Memorial Day weekend Americans who liked to watch complete wrecks could watch the Indy 500, instead of our Presidential race.

Really? The ‪#‎Indy500‬ is now being marketed as part of the “Verizon IndyCar series?” ‪#‎howthemightyhavefallen‬

So the ‪#‎Dodgers‬ are coming to SF to play the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ in 2 weeks. Is it too late to organize a ‪#‎Giants‬ laser pointer giveaway? ‪#‎LaserGate‬

Lost in yesterday’s ‪#‎SFGiants‬ 10-5 win vs ‪#‎Rockies‬: Winning pitcher Cory Gearrin also got his 1st at bat. And 1st hit. ‪#‎PitchersWhoRake‬

Donald Trump has apparently narrowed his potential running mates to a “very small” list. Because there are only a “very small” number of people who will run with him?

 

Bernie Sanders today on “Meet the Press” said that while he thinks Donald Trump would be a “disaster” as President,  it is “the candidate’s job,”  to draw voters in — not the second-place finisher’s job to instruct them on how to vote.

For all Bernie’s talk about changing the Democratic party, that was sure spoken like a man who is planning to switch his registration back to Independent after the election is over.

 

Shouldn’t an 8-3 lead in the 9th inning at ‪#‎CoorsField‬ be counted as a save situation? ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎Rockies‬

 

 

Wow. The Mets’ Asdrúbal Cabrera a home run hard off ‪#‎Kershaw‬. Who does he think he is? Madison Bumgarner?

Meanwhile, Kershaw has more than 200 million reasons to get over it. But as much as I dislike the Dodgers, have to admit,  manager Davy Roberts pulls him in the 8th with two outs and a runner on first. The reliever promptly gives up the tying run, and get the win when the Dodgers come back in the 9th.  #baseballisacruelgame

 

From T.C.  “I know nusink about US politics, but I used to play ‘Bridge’. “3 No Trump” sounds like it may be a rallying slogan for his opposition?”

Are we sure this isn’t hockey?

Posted May 28, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , ,

If the Oklahoma City Thunder played a three period game instead of four, they’d have been awaiting the Cleveland Cavaliers for a while now.

 

 

 

#‎Westbrook‬ & ‪#‎Durant‬ asked about leaning on teammates in gm. 7 of Western Conf.Finals. Response from both “we have teammates? ‪#‎OKCvsGSW‬

 

Christmas present idea for ‪#‎NBA‬ fans. ‪#‎Thunder‬ neckties. Just sized tight enough to choke? ‪#‎GSWvsOKC‬

 

Durant and Westbrook were both sort of dissing Steph Curry. Now I’m no NBA psychology expert but wouldn’t it be smarter to trash talk the guy who was one flagrant foul away from suspension ‪#‎DraymondGreen‬

 

Forget the idea of a ‪#‎SandersTrumpDebate‬ debate. If it’s all about ratings and with all the hoopla over ‪#‎Hamilton‬, why don’t the two men meet in a real duel?

 

If mean bitch karma got really mad at pitchers she would have invented ‪#‎CoorsField‬. ‪#‎Rockies‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

 

And after Madison Bumgarner lost a win over a bullpen malfunction, at least the SF Giants won, and hey, it was a real #Madbum start because he got an RBI. ‪#‎Pitcherswhorake‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬-

One of the Washington Wizards was detained and then released by TSA at an airport. Means Lakers players better not fly commercial this summer – they could be arrested and charged with impersonating professional athletes.

#‎LebronJames‬ gave  major respect to ‪#‎Toronto‬ ‪#‎Raptors‬ fans & to Canada after the NBA finals game 6.  Maybe knowing many of his US fans might want to emigrate after November?

 –

A toddler has been hospitalized in Cincinnati with non-life threatening injuries after falling into the gorilla enclosure. And a 17-year old gorilla was shot and killed.  Maybe her parents might want to do a stint in with the lions? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎butyoucanfeedstupidtocats‬

Lionfish, with their venomous spines, were first imported into the U.S. for aquariums. Now they have become an invasive species. But Whole Foods has started selling their meat in stores, and says they will take care of the poison parts.
Talk about a win-win. Get some nasty fish out of the ecosystem, and if Whole Foods is wrong, well, it’s not the underprivileged who will suffer.

Who says I never have a kind word to say about Sarah Palin. She just called Donald Trump “a golden wrecking ball.”

 

Trump staffers are now apparently afraid their offices have been bugged. Come on, really? What could possibly leak that is more embarrassing than anything the Donald says himself?

 

Weekend thought:  Unisex restrooms are a bad idea. Said no woman who has ever waited in a long women’s room line ever.

Not so long ago?

Posted May 27, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, debate jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

Virginia McLaurin, 107, went to her first MLB game this week at Nationals Park. 107. Wow. To put this in perspective, Ms. McLaurin was born only two years after the Cubs won their last World Series.

Mets jump on Dodgers phenom Julio ‪#‎Urias‬, 19, for 3 runs in 2.2 innings. So is that considered child abuse?

SF Giants pitchers have had an incredible run over the past two weeks. Then a day off. Now a series at Coors Field. So it must sort of have felt like the victorious Christians felt before they had to face the Lions.

 

‪#‎MattCain‬ is apparently hurt. Is it too soon for the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ to talk to the ‪#‎Angels‬ about a trade for Timmy? ‪#‎Lincecum‬.

 

 

Albert Suarez may or may not have a long career for ‪#‎SFGiants‬. But he’s already joined club of ‪#‎Giants‬ pitchers with RBIs. ‪#‎PitchersWhoRake‬

Jackie Bradley Jr. went 0-4 last night, snapping his hit streak at 29 games. So he was only a little over a month away from potentially catching Dimaggio.

At the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, someone left a  pair of glasses on the floor, and museum goers figured they were art.  Well, at least SFMOMA didn’t charge a special exhibition fee for them.

Link below. #nottheOnion

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/news/a-pair-of-glasses-were-left-on-the-floor-at-museum-and-everyone-mistook-it-for-art-a7049551.html

 

Apparently Texas’s Nihar Janga, 11, one of the Scripps National Spelling Bee co-champions, has his own “X’ celebration display that mimicks Dez Bryant’s. And Janga went through the ritual while ignoring his co-champions attempt at a high-five.
Bryant wants to take the kid to a game. But isn’t it nice to know that in this country, now even nerds can be hot dogs. Sigh.

 

A new study shows a possible link between cell phone use and brain cancer. The survey could be flawed. Or it could be mean bitch karma being really tired of almost running into or being run into by all these idiots focused on their phones while walking, driving etc.

Marco Rubio confirmed his decision not to run for re-election to the Senate, citing the fact that he wouldn’t challenge his friend the GOP lieutenant governor who is already running. So Rubio doesn’t also want to challenge Rick Santorum’s record of losing his seat by 18 points?

Donald Trump now says he won’t debate Bernie Sanders because it would be “inappropriate.” Uh, can anyone remember a time when the Donald gave a rat’s ass about anything being “inappropriate?”

Trump is going to spend part of Sunday at the “Rolling Thunder” motorcycle rally in D.C. Hmm, this inspires a new potential nickname for the Donald – “Trolling Blunder.”

Donald Trump, in Fresno, patting himself on the back for coming to California ““No other Republican would come here for dinner.”
Surprised he didn’t add, “Not that we don’t have better restaurants at Trump Tower.”

 

 

Trump’s latest in California “There is no drought.” So is he going to have Mexico build walls to keep the rain in too?

Trumped.

Posted May 27, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Well, the Donald has gotten enough delegates for the GOP nomination.

And now the media is reporting that Newt Gingrich (?!) is on the list of potential running mates for Donald Trump. If this keeps up ‪#‎theOnion‬ will be out of business. ‪#‎satirecantkeepupwithreality‬

 

Heard radio pundit describe #‎WesternConferenceFinals‬ Game 5 as “must win” for ‪#‎Warriors‬. Considering ‪#‎Thunder‬ are up 3-1, yep, he was right.

Game six too…

A new marijuana-friendly gym will open in San Francisco. It will be the first gym where users can use the treadmill and eat Doritos at the same time?

Baylor has now fired football coach Art Briles in the midst of sexual assault allegations involving players. Well, now we’re getting serious. Firing the university president is one thing, firing a successful coach who took them to six straight bowl games…..

The mess at ‪#‎Baylor‬ proves once again the danger of allowing heterosexuals to play football.

A potential ‪#‎BernieTrumpDebate‬? Is there a room big enough to contain two egos that yuge?

 

So it’s really possible we might have a ‪#‎Trump‬ ‪#‎Gingrich‬ ticket? Perfect. Who better to defend heterosexual family values than two men with six marriages between them?

 

As the Hillary email saga unfolds no doubt Donald Trump is thinking that this will not be a problem if he is elected President. Because he will have the most amazing email system ever in the White House. It will be beautiful, awesome, and Mexico will pay for it.

Canada’s ambassador to Ireland tackled a protester who interrupted a memorial service for British soldiers today in Dublin. Hmm so, if God forbid, the Donald gets elected maybe Justin Trudeau has found his ambassador to the US who can stand up to Trump.

Congress actually passed a bipartisan bill to strengthen the Toxic Substances Control Act. Hmm, “toxic substances.” Does that include Trump speeches?

Donald Trump said in Business Week that the GOP will become a “worker’s party.” Right, as in everyone in the party will be working for him.

Jimmy Kimmel last night suggested that Trump host a “Celebrity Apprentice” where people compete to be his vice presidential pick. Trump responded “That’s a good idea.” And some fools thought he was joking.

 

Pittsburgh Penguins hold off the Tampa Bay Lightning to make it to the Stanley Cup flnals against San Jose Sharks. So at least one of the teams in the ice hockey championship comes from a city where they actually have ice.

Icing, in June?

Posted May 25, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

Open note to SF Bay Area fans unused to this sort of thing — the ‪#‎StanleyCup‬ is not something you wear for protection from ‪#‎DraymondGreen

So who’d a thunk that at this point the ‪#‎SJSharks‬ would be looking better in the playoffs than the ‪#‎GoldenState‬ ‪#‎Warriors‬?

Watching Steph Curry this year in the playoffs reminds me now a bit of Chris Paul last year. Curry had that super-human effort his first game back, especially in overtime against the Blazers when he was supposed to be on a minutes count. Paul, who was also hurt, had a super-human effort to knock the Spurs out. But then he wasn’t the same afterwards.. Wonder if both games took it out of them long term.

 

Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon apparently won over some Nationals hecklers who were taunting him about having two families, by joking that he actually has three. Well, or at least we THOUGHT he was joking.

Major power outage  Wednesday in downtown ‪#‎Seattle‬. Normally this only happens to opposing teams’ hitters  who come into town to face the ‪#‎Mariners‬.

Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker says on election day that he will vote, but “I just don’t plan to vote for president.”
Once again, such a profile in courage from one of these clowns who wants voters to elect him to make tough choices.

 

Apparently after leaving office President Obama and his family are renting a $6.4 million dollar house in a nice DC neighborhood. Good thing they didn’t decide on relocating in San Francisco, for that price they’d have gotten about a two-bedroom apartment.

Bills GM Doug Whaley said today he “used a poor choice of words” when he said yesterday that football was a game humans were not designed to play.
“Poor choice” indeed. He violated the #1 rule of NFL ownership: “Thou shalt not be honest.”

Frontier Airlines removed a woman from one of their planes in Denver before takeoff when she threw a tantrum and then stripped naked. This would not have happened on United. They would have charged the other passengers an entertainment fee.

 

Texas, Alabama, Wisconsin, West Virginia, Tennessee, Maine, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Utah and Georgia are suing the Obama administration over their new transgender school directive. So good to know those states have no more serious problems to spend their tax dollars on….

 

In South Carolina, Gov. Nikki Haley signed a bill into law on that makes abortions illegal after 20 weeks unless the mother’s life is in jeopardy. Just guessing, if you’re a wealthy woman in the state needing an abortion, won’t be hard to afford a doctor to say that your life is in jeopardy.

TC reminds us “The NFL Pro Bowl will be moving to Orlando from Honolulu this year. Wallet Disney World, get ready for a true Mickey Mouse operation to compete for your Florida tourist dollars.”

 

Well blow me over.

Posted May 25, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

Many Millennials may not remember Ken Starr’s relentless pursuit of Bill Clinton over his affair with Monica Lewinsky. Now Starr has reportedly been fired as President of Baylor University, over sexual assault allegations involving the football team.
Mean bitch karma for yet another win.

 

Understand the frustration of Sanders supporters with the Democratic primary process and rules. But on the other hand, Bernie became a Democrat less than a year ago. It’s kind of like starting to play a sport for the first time and then complaining that you are being penalized or getting fouls called on you because you didn’t read the rule book. ‪#‎stopwhining‬

NFL chose ‪#‎Atlanta‬ over ‪#‎NewOrleans‬ for 2019 ‪#‎SuperBowl‬. “Because we’d all so much rather spend ‪#‎SuperBowlWeek‬ in Atlanta” said nobody.

The ‪#‎SFGiants‬ placed Angel ‪#‎Pagan‬ on the DL for the first time in 2016. So congrats to all those who had May 14 in the pool.

So now it’s ‪#‎VinceFoster‬. Can we start a poll on which ancient Clinton conspiracy theory ‪#‎Trump‬ will bring up next?

Stephen A. Smith apologized to “all Canada, Canadians everywhere” for predicting that the Raptors would lose Monday. Now, when is he going to apologize to Americans everywhere for being Stephen A. Smith?

The TSA has fired their director. Wonder how long he’ll have to wait for his severance check.

Buffalo Bills general manager Doug Whaley said in a radio interview about football “Injuries are part of it. It’s a violent game that I personally don’t think humans are supposed to play.”
Waiting to see how much Roger Goodell fines him for this

NPR is reporting that because Uber’s app goes into power saving mode when you are running low on battery, they can tell when your phone is about to die, and they know you are then more likely to accept surge pricing. But of course the ride-sharing company would never raise prices in such a situation, said no one.

Presidential comment – Donald Trump has succeeded because he “tapped a waiting reservoir there of inherent racism.” Well, of course that’s what a black man like Obama would say. Except the comment is from Jimmy Carter. #southernman

 

 

A new report says that Donald Trump sued Deutsche Bank to try to get out of $40 million in personal loans he’d used to build the Chicago Trump International Hotel. Trump claimed he couldn’t repay those loans because the 2008 financial collapse was an act of God. Huh…an “act of God?” Well, surely now he will claim it was Hillary’s fault.

 

Playoffs ended too soon for Tim Duncan but Spurs maybe feeling a little less humiliated losing to 3 seed ‪#‎Thunder‬. ‪#‎GSWvsOKC‬ ‪#‎buzzsaw‬

‪#‎MattHarvey‬ is still strugging for the ‪#‎NYMets‬. Maybe ‪#‎Mets‬ should consider a straight up trade for ‪#‎JakePeavy‬ with ‪#‎SFGiants‬?

 

 

Rick ‪#‎Santorum‬ has endorsed ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬. Well the Donald should be thrilled to pick up both Santorum supporters.


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