Closing act

Posted July 28, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

How tempting for ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ to come on stage tonight & simply say “I am not bat-shit crazy, good night.” ‪#‎MicDrop‬ ‪#‎DemConvention‬

 

Watching @HillaryClinton speak tonight and wondering what color an orange man gets when when he’s red in the face. @realDonaldTrump

#‎HillaryClinton‬ “I believe in science.” Waiting for the ‪#‎GOP‬ rebuttal.

So where’s the bumper sticker? ‪#‎Voteforthegrownups‬ ‪#‎ClintonKaine2016

 

So Hillary says @realDonaldTrump can be baited by a tweet. Let’s see if he can be baited by a speech. ‪#‎DemConvention‬

Does ‪#‎BernieSanders‬ lose a bet if he smiles? ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

Whatever you say about ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬, at least when daughter introduces her no need to think “so who was her other parent? ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

Donald Trump yesterday slammed Tim Kaine, he “did a terrible job in New Jersey — first act he did in New Jersey was ask for a $4 billion tax increase and he was not very popular in New Jersey and he still isn’t.”
Well, it’s not like the Donald wants a job where it really matters if you know who’s in charge of what…..

Melania Trump’s website has mysteriously disappeared after allegations surfaced about her lying about receiving a college degree. Clearly this is the fault of Hillary and her private email server.

 

But okay, let’s get serious. So Hillary Clinton laid out a vision for fixing many of the world’s problems. What is she going to do about the post All-Star break SF Giants?

 

Went into this week thinking ‪#‎TimKaine‬‘s speech might be boring. Didn’t expect how good he’d be compared to the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ offense.

If returning to Vermont as an independent Senator doesn’t work out ‪#‎BernieSanders‬ has a real possibility of replacing ‪#‎GrumpyCat‬

Oops, the North Carolina GOP tweeted yesterday about a blue pin Tim Kaine was wearing, saying it was “shameful” for him to wear a foreign flag. When it was a Blue Star Service pin honoring his son in the Marines.
The tweet has been deleted. So will the group next blame their teachers, or their eye doctors under Obamacare?

So today Donald Trump said he was just “being sarcastic” when he asked Russia to find Hillary Clinton’s emails. And so if he decides to experiment with those nuclear codes will his comment the next day be, “oops, I was just kidding?”

The Patriots’ Julian Edelman is facing a paternity suit from a Swedish model who says she is 5 1/2 months pregnant with his baby. Once again a lesson for athletes, always wear ALL your equipment.

Dee Gordon is coming back from his 80 game suspension, for what he says was unknowingly taking PEDs. In a video to Marlins fans, Gordon says “I know I let you down, and I’m sorry.”
So if he didn’t mean to take the drugs, what is he sorry for?

‪#‎ChrisSale‬ is back with the White Sox, although trade rumors persist. Does he have a “no ugly uniform” clause?

 

SF Giants were running out of pinch hitters in bottom 9th.  But How can announcers ever say there is no one left on the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ bench when ‪#‎Madbum‬ was available?

From Bill Littlejohn “Olympic swimmers have been told to keep their mouths closed when swimming in Rio’s polluted waters.Meanwhile, there’s talk of the U.S. team training for this in the sewage waters of the Oakland Coliseum”

Gonna miss you.

Posted July 27, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Another Obama speech that is so good Donald Trump may follow Melania in copying it.

“Democracy isn’t a spectator sport.” I love this president. @BarackObama

That moment not when candidate you worked for gets elected, but when after 8 years Americans wish he could stay longer ‪#‎Potus‬ ‪#‎BarackObama

So how quickly can we repeal that 22nd amendment?

In reality TV terms, ‪#‎PresidentObama‬ is making a very strong case for @realDonaldTrump not to get a rose.

‪#‎BarackObama‬ reminds us we don’t need to wait for gold medals to be proud of our country. ‪#‎USAUSAUSA‬

Bumper sticker line of the night from ‪#‎PresidentObama‬ “Don’t boo, vote.”

 

Michael Bloomberg “I’m from New York, I know a con when I see one.” And @realDonaldTrump responds, yeah, but which shell is the ball under?

“We don’t look to be ruled.” Yeah, actually wasn’t that the point in the first place? ‪#‎USAUSAUSA‬ ‪#‎PresidentObama‬ ‪#‎DemConvention‬

 

Note to Donald Trump, if Americans really wanted to be ruled again we’d invite William & Kate & those adorable kids over to do it.

#‎MichaelBloomberg‬ wins for this year’s best display of billionaire on billionaire violence.

#‎Bloomberg‬ “This is not reality television, this is reality.” Waiting for the ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ rebuttal

#‎TimKaine‬, “Semper fi” And ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ is ready to attack him for not speaking English. ‪#‎DemConvention‬

#‎TimKaine‬ may not be exciting but nice job of explaining how @realDonaldTrump ‘s “Believe me” is his way of telling Americans to go f*ck themselve

 

Trump supporters saying Americans don’t care about details like his tax returns. But they do care about Hillary’s email server?

Watching ‪#‎GabbyGiffords‬. Impressive. What a president she might have made. ‪#‎DemConvention‬

‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ has many regular people attest to how nice she is. And ‪#‎Trump‬ had his kids say how nice he is to regular people.

Anthony Weiner said he would come out of retirement if Donald Trump Jr. ran for mayor, and “beat him like a rented mule.” Well, so much for the PETA vote.

So what an interesting trailer for a satirical movie, a presidential candidate of a major party asking another country to meddle in the US election. Oh wait. That was real. Never mind.

 

Just imagine the reaction if ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ or ‪#‎BarackObama‬ even joked that ‪#‎Russia‬ should hack ‪#‎RNC‬ emails for a change

Bill O’Reilly said of the slaves who built the White House, they were “well-fed and had decent lodging.” Unlike many of the people that have labored on many of Trump’s buildings

So I’m not loving this Donald Trump starring role in Vladimir Putin’s remake of the Manchurian Candidate. ‪#‎Russia‬ ‪#‎Emails‬

 

#‎JohnHinckley‬ being released. Just think, if Jodie Foster could have come out of closet sooner Reagan and Brady would not have been shot.

#‎SFGiants‬ having slumber party on the field for fans tonight. Hitters did not get the message it wasn’t for them too.

Wonder how much most ‪#‎MLB‬ teams would give up to get players at trade deadlines like ‪#‎HunterPence‬, ‪#‎MattDuffy‬ & ‪#‎JoePanik‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎DL‬

Still the one.

Posted July 26, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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Hillary Clinton to “young girls” watching,  says she hopes to be the first woman president” but “you will be next.” Ok, but, I would like  more women presidents BEFORE they grow up.

‪#‎BillClinton‬ “For those of us with more yesterdays than tomorrows its all about our children & grandchildren” ‪#‎HesStillGotIt‬ ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

Bill Clinton is proving tonight you dont have to be ‪#‎MickJagger‬ to be a 70 year old rock star. ‪#‎DemConvention‬

Bill Clinton may or may not be “First Man” But making strong pitch to take over commercial for ‪#‎MostInterestingManInTheWorld‬

Bill Clinton on Dorothy Rodman “Knowing her was one of Hillary’s greatest gifts to me.” Shameless & lovely plug for the mother-in-law vote.

Seeing just a bit of sniping against Michelle and her future prospects after her speech saying she’s just a first lady. But really, does anyone think if Barack didn’t marry her that he’d be in the Oval Office today? ‪#‎hemarriedup‬

 

#‎MattCain‬ not only got the win tonight, he threw down the hitting gauntlet to ‪#‎Madbum‬ tomorrow. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Would like to thank aliens who abducted ‪#‎SFGiants‬ & started wearing their uniforms for returning our real Giants tonight.

The Cowboys now have three defensive players suspended for substance abuse at the start of the 2016 season. So to their coaching staff will Dallas be adding a probation officer?

Eagles LB Nigel Bradham was arrested in Miami for aggravated assault; he allegedly beat up a 50 year-old hotel worker who didn’t get his umbrella set up quickly enough. Is Bradham trying to get traded to the 49ers or Cowboys?

Aaron Rodgers on his estranged little brother Jordan on “The Bachelorette” “I haven’t seen the show. To be honest with you, so it hasn’t really affected me a whole lot. As far as those kinds of things go, I’ve always found that it’s a little inappropriate to talk publicly about some family matters, so I’m just — I’m not going to speak on those things, but I wish him well in the competition.”
Sounds like Aaron actually learned something at Cal.

So now Trump is attacking Bernie Sanders. Is there anyone the Donald doesn’t turn on eventually, including the women he marries?

‪#‎CoryBooker‬ responded to @realDonaldTrump’s nasty tweet with “I love you Donald.” So is that the New Jersey equivalent of ‪#‎BlessYourHeart‬

Donald Trump is threatening not to pay a hotel in Virginia for an event Monday because he said it was too hot in the ballroom. Maybe because there isn’t an air-conditioning system in the world that can deal with that much hot air?

Donald Trump now says instead of using Twitter once elected President he’d have a personal White House hotline that will keep him “very busy at night” for complaints against VA hospitals.
Who is he kidding, the Donald didn’t even deal with complaints against Trump University?

 

Some critical of  Bill Clinton’s ignoring ‪#‎MonicaLewinsky‬ years. Same folks didn’t have a problem with ‪#‎Trump‬ not mentioning his 1st 2 wives.

Madeleine Albright says national security is not like hosting a reality tv show. Trump listening and trying to figure out how to fire her.

 

Interesting review of Clinton’s speech. “Bill cast Hillary as a real person—when she herself can seem remote, brittle, defensive and evasive. He sold her far better than she sells herself The man can tell a story. And in politics, that matters.”
The commie pinko sources? FoxNews.com

So the Dems aren’t all quite coming together and singing “Kumbaya.” On the other hand, they’re not making speeches like Ted Cruz, or doing stuff like John Kasich, who posted a fake website for “Trump-Putin 2016.” ‪#‎nottheOnion‬

 

Nice change over all today for unity at the DNC though . From Marc Ragovin “Hillary Clinton got so beaten up in Philadelphia on the opening night of the Democratic National Convention that even Santa Claus felt sorry for her.”

FLOTUS

Posted July 25, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Often imitated, never duplicated ‪#‎MichelleObama‬

 

“This right now is the greatest country on Earth.” And @BarackObama gets reminded again that he married up. ‪#‎MichelleObama‬ ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

 

 

Is it being too much of a girl to have been in love w/ ‪#‎MichelleObama‬‘s speech & at same time going “I love her hair? Asking for a friend

How often do people say “Tonight I am proud to be from New Jersey?” ‪#‎CoryBooker‬ ‪#‎DNCinPhilly‬

 (“You can’t love your country without loving your countrymen and women.  #CoryBooker tonight)

 

Love ‪#‎bridgeovertroubledwater‬, but tonight Simon w/o Garfunkel showed why going it alone isn’t enough. ‪#‎StrongerTogether‬ ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

Another woman who, even if she doesn’t get everything she wanted, still rolls up her sleeves to get to work. ‪#‎ElizabethWarren‬ ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

Since 2004, I was and remain (albeit older) an Obama girl. Hillary Clinton got almost the same number of votes, 18 million, in the 2008 Primaries as Barack Obama. So it’s understandable that her very disappointed supporters did their best to disrupt the 2008 DNC convention. Oh wait, they didn’t. Never mind.

 

A simple statement for Bernie fans, with Clinton elected, Bernie Sanders will have much more power in USA than under Trump.

Earlier today  word that some of Sanders’ supporters have “serious interest” in a “formal challenge” to replace Kaine on the ticket.
Sigh, are they trying to prove this IS their first rodeo?

Also earlier today, reports of Sanders delegates booing… Bernie?! WTF? Is this the result of too many years of participation trophies. ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

 

All of this politics as reality TV is getting really confusing: At one point during ‪#‎DemsinPhilly‬ do Hillary and Bernie retire to Fantasy Suite?

Don’t get me wrong,  putting what they did in emails was stupid. But just wondering how many folks condemning ‪#‎DNC‬ would be OK with coworkers, friends & family seeing what they wrote about them in their emails.

 

“Do I regret standing up for what I believe in? Absolutely not. Do I regret saying business should not be first before winning? Absolutely not.” Fine sentiments from White Sox pitcher Chris Sale, but dude, we’re talking about UNIFORMS. ‪#‎acutabove‬

Cubs have now lost 4 straight starts by Jake Arrieta, SFGiants have lost 5 of 7 starts by Madison Bumgarner. Time for these two pitchers to start an “Offenses anonymous” club?

#‎SFGiants‬ really need to start doing a better job again distracting us in the Bay Area from trivial things like the fate of our country.

‪#‎BarryBonds‬ turned 52 years old yesterday. And he could still probably outhit most of the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ current lineup.

 

Is it going to take Madison Bumgarner hitting again on Wednesday to get ‪#‎SFGiants‬ back on track out of this slump?

Sunday night

Posted July 24, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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So we don’t have a woman president, yet but we do have @jessmendoza on @ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. It’s a start!

 

‪#‎SFGiants‬ don’t really want Aroldis Chapman  (cost and last year’s domestic violence arrest.)  But they’d be fine with the ‪#‎Yankees‬ not trading him to ‪#‎Nationals‬ before next weekend’s series.

 

#‎MikeMayers‬, MLB debut, 1.1 inning, 9 runs, 60.75 ERA. I feel for his mother. ‪#‎LAvsSTL‬

Chris Sale has been suspended five games for destroying his team’s throwback uniforms, which he didn’t want to wear,  before Saturday’s game.   On the other hand, he’s been offered freelance contracts by a lot of college football fans.

While ‪#‎ChrisSale‬ is serving that 5 game suspension could he come to ‪#‎SF‬ & cut up ‪#‎SFGiants‬ road uniforms? They don’t apparently work anymore.

Australian athletes are not moving into the Olympic village because they say it’s “uninhabitable,” with numerous safety issues. And Rio’s mayor responded “I almost feel like putting a kangaroo in front of their building to make them feel at home.” ‪#‎whatiftheyhadanOlympicsandnobodycame‬?

The ‪#‎IOC‬ will not completely ban ‪#‎Russia‬ from the ‪#‎RioOlympics‬. And many Russian athletes are thinking now “Damn, so this means we have to go?

 

#‎Trump‬, disbelieving Roger Ailes charge “because he’s a very good person,” & because ‪#‎theDonald‬ never considered that behavior harassment?

Oxymoron online ad of the day – “Upgrade to Yahoo search.”

Business Insider reports that many Kmart employees expect the company soon to close all their stores. And many Americans are going “Kmart still has stores?”

Donald Trump now proposes stop immigration “from any nation that has been compromised by terrorism,” and wouldn’t rule out France and Germany. Uh, actually would the Donald like to find ONE country that doesn’t have terrorism, including the USA?

But if ‪#‎Trump‬‘s idea of banning immigrants from countries “compromised by terrorism” catches on around the world, it could be rough for Americans trying to move to Canada

Have no problem with removing Debbie Wasserman Schultz as head of the DNC for the convention and beyond. But anyone want to hazard a guess what the RNC internal emails might look like about Trump and others in the GOP primaries?

Critics are saying ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ should have had ‪#‎DebbieWassermanSchultz‬ fired. Uh, and who’s to say she didn’t?

V.P. note for grouchy Dems who wanted someone other than Tim Kaine: Cory Booker, Sherrod Brown & Elizabeth  Warren, all would’ve had their Senate seats filled by GOP governors.

Would have loved Clinton to take Booker. But Kaine ups her likability quotient. And I could get used to hearing “Senate Majority Leader Warren.”

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love Republican chaos.   But some of same Democrats who are gleefully looking forward to November with the GOP not rallying behind Trump are also saying that Sanders shouldn’t throw his support to Clinton.

You unlock this door with a key…..

Posted July 23, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

So will the video highlights and lowlights of the #SFGiants week since the the All-Star break be narrated by Rod Serling?

(younger friends readers can ignore this Twilight Zone reference.)

SF Giants not only got their first win in a week, they had their first lead in a game in a week.  They have now held a lead for exactly one inning since the All-Star break.

 

Pitcher Chris Sale was scratched and sent home from his star today following that the White Sox said was “a “non-physical clubhouse incident.”
Hmm, if they they trade Sales to the Nationals who have Papelbon will Washington become the first clubhouse with thermo-nuclear capability?

 

You really cannot make this “stuff” up. Chris Sale apparently was scratched from tonight’s start because he decided he didn’t like the throwback uniforms, and cut them up, with a knife. ‪#‎Ifonlyhewasarmed‬

An Oklahoma City Store is selling Kevin Durant jerseys for 48 cents. Are they selling them in the BBQ section as kindling?

Trump’s original statement on Munich shootings: “This cannot continue. The rise of terrorism threatens the way of life for all civilized people, and we must do everything in our power to keep it from our shores.”
Uh, what about mental illness, and guns? Or for that matter bullying? Those aren’t in his platform.

 

HillaryClinton‬‘s pick of ‪#‎TimKaine‬ must have been pretty good, ‪#‎Trump‬ is back to tweeting about ‪#‎Pocahontas‬ again.

 

Forget to the “right” or “left,” ‪#‎TimKaine‬ pushes ‪#‎Hillary‬ ticket to more “likable. ‪#‎ClintonKaine‬

Thinking a lot of people are going to go from “Tim who?” to “Smart choice” really fast in this election. ‪#‎ClintonKaine‬

 

#‎Trump‬ loves ‪#‎Sanders‬ since he’s not on the ticket, if ‪#‎Hillary‬ had chosen ‪#‎Bernie‬ the Donald would be tweeting today about communism

 

 

 

 

So DNC emails to my mind reveal more political infighting than any real difference making in the 2016 Primaries. But putting that sort of stuff in writing? Have no problem if Debbie Wasserman Schultz ends up being told to fall on her sword for this one. ‪#‎couldbeawinwin‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid

 

17 people were injured when a ferry from the World Financial Center made a rough landing in Jersey City tonight. Most of the injuries were minor, at least compared to being stuck in New Jersey.

 

 

 

from JD – singalong  time?

 

Oloompa, doompadee doo:
I’ve got a brand-new puzzle for you.
Oompa, loompa, doompadah dee:
if you are wise, you’ll listen to me.

What do you get with a Trump and a Pence?
Lies and resentment and sound without sense.
Staying up late just to vent all that hate
won’t help to make our country great.
(Shouldn’t this be obvious?)

Oompa loompa doompadee damn:
most of us know that it’s all a scam.
Want to help our country improve?
Dumping Donald Trump should be your first move.

KaineTouchThis?

Posted July 22, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: airline jokes, baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , ,

Hillary Clinton has selected Tim Kaine as her running mate. #YesWeKaine

 

Donald Trump “Tim Kaine may be fluent in Spanish but he can’t make a taco bowl as good as the one in Trump Tower.”

So ‪#‎Panik‬ on DL, ‪#‎Duffy‬ on DL, and the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ gold-glove winning shortstop is the one who makes 3 errors in game….‪#‎WTF‬ #SFGiants

If Bochy had resisted the urge to use DH, ‪#‎Madbum‬ would have been up in bottom of 4th with bases loaded instead of Blanco. ‪#‎SFGiants‬.

Fortunately since he is not pitching Saturday Madison Bumgarner is available to pinch hit.

RIP‬ ‪#‎DennisGreen‬. Stanford fans remember him for the important things – he went 3-0 in Big Games, and his 1990 team upset #1 Notre Dame.

Many Americans are unaware that ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ is a year younger than ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬. Maybe because she has an age appropriate spouse?

Alas, it’s been almost 10 years since we lost the woman who really should have been commenting on Trump’s speech, but her comment on Pat Buchanan’s speech from 1992 will do just fine: “It probably sounded better in the original German.” ‪#‎MollyIvins‬

But here’s the 2016 quote:  “I’m overjoyed to see Donald Trump and most Americans embrace most of the issues that I’ve championed for years. My slogan remains America first.” David Duke

Yep, she’s the Donald’s daughter alright. After her speech last night, Ivanka Trump posted a tweet. About her policies, promises, politics.. ? Nope.
“Shop Ivanka’s look from her ‪#‎RNC‬ speech” with a link where to buy the dress at Macy’s.

The dress ‪#‎IvankaTrump‬ wore for her speech last night, from her own clothing line, was made in China. ‪#‎MakeAmericaFakeAgain‬

 

#‎IvankaTrump‬ did look pretty in dress at ‪#‎RNC‬ from her own clothing line Wonder if she looked like fairy princess to children who made it?

 

How often do I say this, but well played ‪#‎STLCards‬, well played! ‪#‎silverlining‬ in a tough week. 16 innings against ‪#‎Dodg-ers‬. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Knicks point guard Derrick Rose “With these teams right now, they’re saying us and Golden State are the super teams, and they’re trying not to build that many super teams.”
Uh, is Rose daring the NBA to drug test him?

 

One of ‪#‎Trump‬‘s tweets last night – “This is a movement.” Yes, a bowel movement. ‪#‎RNCinCLE‬

So in all seriousness, we heard a lot last night about how much Trump’s employees adored him. But I’ve been in the travel industry a long time, never heard any of the love – have gotten things like this direct quote from an unidentified employee at an unidentified Trump hotel – back in 2012 -“Just so you know he does not own the hotel – we all hate his policies!!!!”

And a contender for airline euphemism for the day, from Southwest. “We continue to manage through lingering disruptions following performance issues across multiple technology systems Wednesday,”
Translation, “We’re still cleaning up from our complete bleeping computer crash.”


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