Tea and lemonade and sympathy.

Posted September 25, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Bummer. RIP #ArnoldPalmer, 87. For younger generation who think golf started with Tiger Woods, Arnold was much more than name of a drink.

And then to put baseball in perspective, this just sucks, RIP  Jose Fernandez, 24.

Today’s “how low can you go” Twitter award, Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz “for all who will kneel during the anthem today — just remember how Jose Fernandez risked his life just for the chance to stand for it.”

 

You’d think at least once in MLB season that a team could win after trailing entering 9th. So far with 2016 #SFGiants you would think wrong.

 

Whatever happens to the #SFGiants this year, at least they are staying in the playoff picture longer than the #Yankees. #smallmercies

Les Miles has been fired by LSU. What a shame for all those 12 year olds who were expecting a scholarship offer this year.

Starting to look like the #49ers will soon start hoping for more post game questions about Colin Kaepernick’s kneeling and less about their play on the field.

Jim Harbaugh, on some of his Michigan players raising fists during the National Anthem: “I’ve been thinking a lot about this over the last four, five, six weeks ..Because I am the football coach doesn’t mean I can dictate to people what they believe. I support our guys.”
Good for Harbaugh, although have to wonder if he thought but didn’t say “As long as they keep winning…”

 

North Carolina has a new law taking effect next weekend which says police bodycam videos will no longer be public record. Individual law enforcement agencies will have the power to release or not release footage. So the state is terrified of transgenders in bathrooms but not about civilians being unjustly shot?

Ken Starr yesterday said a “grave injustice was done to Art Briles” the former Baylor football coach, by the media over Briles’ handling of sexual assault allegations against some of his team..
Right, heaven forbid a university fire a coach when women get raped by his players. It’s not like he had consensual sex with an intern….

Leaving aside the fact that many great leaders have had incredIbly messy personal lives, it’s amazing to watch so many people declare that whatever reasons Hillary has had for staying in her marriage must be much worse than those Trump has had for leaving two of his.

 

Now the Trump campaign, says they are really not inviting Gennifer Flowers to Monday’s debate, despite the Donald’s tweet saying he was considering it. Translation, somebody reminded Trump that women vote?

Now that Trump isn’t bringing Gennifer Flowers to the debate, there’s an empty chair? So let’s see, Ann Coulter, Ted Nugent, Scott Baio are available. Or maybe the Donald can go Clint Eastwood for the night?

Hillary Clinton is 5’4″, Donald Trump is 6’3″, but apparently Hillary will have a slightly raised podium Monday night to make the height difference appear less. No doubt another excuse for the Donald to claim the debate is rigged.

 

#Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway says that the Donald is “the Babe Ruth of debating.” WTF? The Sultan of Naught?

Long ago, and oh so far away…

Posted September 24, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

The Dodgers honored Vin Scully and his 67 years of broadcasting last night. 67 years?! Wow. That almost goes back to Jamie Moyer’s rookie season

 

After 38-35 loss in South Bend to Duke, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly said “every position will be evaluated.” Including his own?

 

So Stanford coach David Shaw was just toying with Stanford fans and hiding his real offensive plan against UCLA until 2 minutes left in 4th quarter? 

The Phillies took a 10-0 lead, and hung on for a 10-8 win against the Mets. The Giants took a 6-0 lead and needed extra innings to beat the Padres. Another installment in “Who really doesn’t want to be a Wild Card.”

 

If manic depression sponsored a baseball team it would be the 2016 SF Giants

And for those who think Americans deciding “Who do we hate least?” is confined to politics, Duke just upset Notre Dame in college football.

USC led by 10 points early in the fourth quarter and lost to Utah Friday night. So what’s with the Trojans? Have they given up now that the Rams have brought real pro football back to Los Angeles?

 

Kent State got $1.5 million for playing Alabama today. But heaven help the football players if they get back home and boosters try to buy them dinner and/or a beer to drown their sorrows. #whatswrongwiththispicture?

#NYTimes endorsed #HillaryClinton. Presumably next to the headline “Water is wet.”

Donald Trump has invited Gennifer Flowers to the first debate. Because the Donald didn’t have enough seats for all his ex-lovers and wives?

Some Hillary haters are trying to spin her and Bill Clinton’s having attended Trump’s latest wedding as another sign of her duplicity. But don’t we all have friends and acquaintances we might hang out with on occasion, but who we wouldn’t want running our neighborhood association let alone the country

 

Last week’s mall attack, 10 people attacked, only fatality was the suspect. Friday night, five dead. This is not the “well-regulated militia” our founding fathers had in mind.

Approaching MLB’s regular season last weak….

Posted September 23, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Whatever you think of Wild Cards in #MLB, without them there might not be a single game that would matter for last week of the season.

Okay, the #SFGiants have about 100 pitchers in their bullpen and in a one-run game in the 5th they turn it over to Matt Reynolds? #WTF?

New England QB Jacoby Brissett has a thumb injury. Gosh, hope the #Patriots have someone in mind as a  long-term possible replacement.

The Raiders’ Marquette King was fined over $18K for horse collar tackle last week. King is the team’s PUNTER. Wonder if he’s going to frame the NFL fine notice?

#KevinGarnett announced his retirement today. “The first time is the hardest” said Brett Favre.

Colin Kaepernick is on the cover of Time Magazine. Whatever you think of his protest nice to see an NFL player getting this much off-field media attention without his own arrest being involved.

Backup Seattle catcher Steve Clevenger has been suspended for tweeting about Charlotte: “BLM is pathetic once again! Obama you are pathetic! Everyone involved should be behind bars like animals!”
Clevenger has apologized and said he is not racist. But have to think the Mariners suspended him not just for racism but stupidity.

The Ohio county chair for Donald Trump’s who said “I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected” has resigned. Wonder if she’s already gotten a job offer from Fox News?

Does the #Patriots 3-0 start officially eliminate #TomBrady from this year’s NFL MVP competition?

So Ted Cruz has now endorsed Donald Trump and Kim Kardashian says after a long talk with Caitlyn that she’s on the fence. #Wearegoingtoneedabiggerbasket

#TedCruz thought that Americans would elect him to stand up to our enemies? In the end, he couldn’t even stand up to #Trump

 

Bruce Springsteen called Donald Trump “a moron.”   Chris Christie hasn’t felt so conflicted since he had to choose between the last two doughnuts on a plate.

#Trump tweeted out today “This is more than a campaign- it is a movement.” Uh, yeah, he left out a word – bowel.

A thought about tweets that get people in trouble. Yes, I get that it’s hard to say exactly what you mean in 140 characters. But if you’re a public figure without the gift of being succinct, maybe stick to Facebook?

 

#DonaldTrump called #TedCruz “the worst liar he’s ever known.” #Cruz called #Trump a “pathological liar.” Credit where credit is due.

To put this in sports terms, this is like them deciding to root for the Browns over the Bengals:
“The Cincinnati Enquirer has supported Republicans for president for almost a century — a tradition this editorial board doesn’t take lightly. But this is not a traditional race, and these are not traditional times.
Our country needs calm, thoughtful leadership to deal with the challenges we face at home and abroad. We need a leader who will bring out the best in all Americans, not the worst.
That’s why there is only one choice when we elect a president in November: Hillary Clinton.”

Here we go again. Another mass shooting, this time at a mall in the state of Washington. The alleged suspect is a reportedly a Hispanic male. So if true he’s mentally ill, not a terrorist. Unless he is an immigrant….. Sigh.

Rounding third

Posted September 22, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

Phillies came from behind and took two-run leads into the bottom of the 9th and the bottom of the 11th against the Mets.  They blew both leads and lost 9-8.    So were the Phils trying  to get the Philadelphia fans in an early booing holiday spirit by the relievers playing Santa Claus?

 

Talking about the #SFGiants needing to find their mojo. Anyway just for a few weeks to lure former third base coach @TimFlannery2 out of retirement?

The Panthers and VIkings plan still to play this weekend in Charlotte, despite the protests. Panthers LB Thomas Davis: “I look at football as a way to bring people together…I hope people know that violence is not the answer.” Well, off-field violence anyway.

 

Hear that the Baltimore Orioles are unhappy with average attendance of 19,422 fans in two games against the Boston Red Sox. And the Tampa Bay Rays are thinking “what, did those crowds overwhelm the concessions?”

San Francisco streets were shut for hours this morning over a “suspicious” object that turned out to be an abandoned empty rice cooker. #fearitselfiswinning

Open note to Americans thinking of dropping off their old crockpots, rice or pressure cookers at Goodwill, maybe now is not the best time.

And while we debate ways to keep America safer, a 24 year-old U of Iowa student, Megan Sloss, was fatally shot this weekend. By her older brother, who police say was showing her how to clean a gun when it accidentally discharged. #ifonlyshewasarmed

 

#MarissaMayer knew for some time about a about a 2 yr-old data breach affecting 500 million #Yahoo users.  And she’s probably be terminated soon and get a $44 million severance package . What’s next, running for office on her record of corporate experience?

 

Wonder how many #Yahoo users today are changing their passwords to “YahooSucks?”

In his first speech to the UN this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau talked about politicians exploiting anxiety. but in Canadia, “by appealing to people’s better angels, by drawing people together rather than stoking fears and anxieties, we were actually able to create a government that is focused on strengthening the middle class, to allay those fears and anxieties and demonstrate a positive engagement with the world.”
Waiting for Trump to demand a wall on our Northern border, and saying Canada will pay for it.

 

More Justin Trudeau “The point that is so important to emphasize is that what we found in Canada was that people are better than divisive politicians think they are.”
Your move, America.

Remember when Monday Night Football was a big deal? Now we have Thursday night, along with the weekend. Who’s going to be first with Tuesday or Wednesday Night Football?

Donald Rumsfeld, 84, says of George H.W. Bush, 92, backing Clinton “He’s up in years.” So what is any serious former defense secretary’s excuse for backing Trump?

Kathy Miller, one of Donald Trump’s Ohio campaign chairs, in an interview with the Guardian, “If you’re black and you haven’t been successful in the last 50 years, it’s your own fault. You’ve had every opportunity, it was given to you…I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected.”
#wearegoingtoneedabiggerbasket

 

Regarding Hillary Clinton on “Between Two Ferns,” I thought she did a good job. Hillary was never going to be the cool mom down drinking with your friends in the basement. But she was going to be the mom who cleaned up the mess and made sure no one ended up in the hospital or arrested.

What matters most.

Posted September 21, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

 

So Colin Kaepernick was just voted the most disliked player in the NFL. Because kneeling during the National Anthem is so much worse than assault, domestic violence, rape….

Miami Dolphins safety Michael Thomas, who has been kneeling during the national anthem for the first two games of the NFL season, says he has been receiving death threats via social media. Okay, outrage and upset I get, but death threats? Seems like some Americans are bent on proving his and Kaepernick’s etc. point.

On a brighter note for #SFGiants fans, tonight’s 9-3 loss to the Dodgers wasn’t a heart-breaking 9th inning.

Interesting for SF Giants fans. If it comes down to the last day of the season and Giants are tied with the Cardinals – look at the expected pitching match-up for St. Louis and Pittsburgh:

Cards: Weaver (1-4) Pirates: Vogelsong (3-5)

 

Story today in the SF Chronicle that BART’s fare machines are running on Windows 2000, 17 year-old software. By airline standards, cutting-edge technology.

In Norway, 126 owners of Tesla Model S P85D are suing the company, saying their cars’ with “insane mode” acceleration only reached 496 horsepower instead of a pledged 700.
So too soon to start a pool on how many of those 126 drivers will end up getting Darwin awards?

The FBI has released pictures of the two men who allegedly stole a suitcase in NY last Saturday night, dumping and disabling the bomb in side. The bureau says they want to talk to them. Maybe the guys could help start a new division for Homeland Security “Hertz Rent-A-Thief?”

Imagine @RealDonaldTrump’s response if #DonKing was supporting and had introduced @HillaryClinton

So if we’re worried about dangerous Skittles can we start a petition to take the orange ones out?

Former Trump campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, who was fired in June, now works for CNN as an on-air political contributor. But Trump paid him $20,000 in both July and August. A Trump spokeswoman called “monthly severance” and in no way a conflict of interest.
And I am sure the Donald would be just as understanding if Hillary were paying a former staff now working for the national media.

So Jimmy Fallon may have rolled over for the Donald. But kudos to Seth Meyers: “You don’t get to peddle racist rhetoric for five years and decide when it’s over. The bottom line is this, Trump built his career on a racist lie because he’s a racist and a liar, and instead of denouncing that lie, the GOP doubled down on it completely.”

From T.C. “Colin Kaepernick says he is protesting for all the black people that are subjected to oppression and abuse on a weekly basis. What about all the white people who have 49ers seasons tickets?”

Stop the presses.

Posted September 20, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Angelina Jolie  has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. Waiting for Trump to blame it on a Clinton plot to take him out of the headlines.

 

Can we blame the #Brangelina breakup on gay marriage?

So what time is the party at #JenniferAnniston‘s house?

 

Since I’ve been talking about definition of insanity, guess I must ask myself, what is being an #SFGiants fan this September still watching the 9th inning?

Tim Tebow apparently hit a home run in minor league BP. The question is, can he pitch? #SFGiants are desperate enough in 9th inning they might want someone with God on his side.

 

The Lakers have 500 to 1 odds to win their NBA division. Amazing. So wonder how much those odds got lowered by Vegas’s proximity to Los Angeles?

 

Some question why since the FBI looked into the alleged NYC bomber 2 years ago they didn’t figure out he might be a terrorist. The more that comes out about why and how much the plot failed, maybe they figured the guy was too STUPID to be a terrorist.

The Washington Post is reporting that Donald Trump spent more than $250,000 from his foundation to settle lawsuits involving his businesses. I am sure this is somehow Hillary Clinton’s fault.

One of today’s tweets. Once again, how Presidential of him. ‏@realDonaldTrump – “Do people notice Hillary is copying my airplane rallies – she puts the plane behind her like I have been doing from the beginning.”

 

Trump taunted Hillary today on Twitter because Clinton had no public events scheduled: “Hillary Clinton is taking the day off again, she needs the rest. Sleep well Hillary — see you at the debate!”
Of course if Hillary were campaigning nonstop this week he’d taunt her with something about either not listening to her doctors or having faked pneumonia. #bewarethenastyOrangeSkittle

Another Trump tweet “Once again someone we were told is ok turns out to be a terrorist who wants to destroy our country & its people- how did he get thru system?” – Uh, alleged bomber Rahami moved here when he was seven years old.
And if we are talking system failures how did the Charleston and Sandy Hook killers get guns? For starters.

 

Donald Trump is already complaining about, the moderator of the 1st Presidential debate, By the way, “Lester (Holt) is a Democrat They’re all Democrats.”
Time magazine looked at NY voter registration, and Holt has been a registered Republican since 2003.
#Whyconfuseagoodstrategywiththefacts?

Numbers game.

Posted September 19, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

The NY Mets have started selling Tim Tebow #15 jerseys. Well, as if anyone wondered what $ome of the rea$on$ are that the Met$ $igned him?

 

Number of times #SFGiants have lost w/ lead in 9th- 9. Number of times #SFGiants have won when trailing in 9th- 0. #2016seasoninanutshell

 

Shame of it all, tonight’s blown save wasted a great pitching performance from #Madbum, not to mention a run scored on an infield hit, stolen base, error & wild pitch. #SFGiants offensive explosion!

A #LADodgers fan friend asked me who I thought was the #SFGiants MVP. Told him the #Dodgers MVP should be #Casilla. (or maybe they should just vote a playoff share to the entire bullpen?”)

 

Apparently a second bomb didn’t go off in Manhattan because thieves stole the suitcase in which it was placed, and accidentally disabled the device. #GodBlessNewYorkers.

Washington coach Jay Gruden “We have total faith that Kirk (Cousins) will get it done, and he will get it done.” Translation, we haven’t found a team willing to trade us any better option.

 

Donald Trump, whose arm must be really tired for all the pats he gives himself on the back, boasted “I should be a newscaster because I called it (the NY explosion being a bomb) before the news.”
Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement in this country? I would be just fine with Trump being a newscaster, after Nov. 8. When he has nothing better to do.

As of today, Ivanka Trump is getting Secret Service protection. Wait. What? Why would the Donald risk his precious daughter?. Because surely Trump’s own personal security staff is the greatest, bestest security ever.

It’s a free country. So while Colin Kaepernick has a right to protest, Americans have a right to be upset at him. But I hope some of those same Americans are also upset about Terence Crutcher

Would @realDonaldTrump explain how profiling all #Muslims helps w/ millions of law-abiding Muslims who now do assist and support police?

Now, who the heck knows what really turns someone into a potential terrorist. But the family of alleged NY bombing suspect Ahmad Rahami had sued the city of Elizabeth, NJ, arguing that they were targeted by the city, police and their neighbors because they were Muslim.
Not that Trump’s plan to get police to profile all Muslims will make anyone else angry….

 

NY GOP Rep. Lee Zeldin today, after Ahmad Rahami’s arrest today, tweeted out “Suspect in custody. You are welcome Colin Kaepernick” #WTF? Is Zeldin angling for a job in a potential Trump administration?

Reports from Politico & the Guardian are that George H.W. Bush told Kathleen Kennedy Townsend he’s “voting for Hillary.” Looks like the really smart Bush was always Poppy.

Note to Donald Trump, now THIS is a Presidential response: “I think it is important to remember what terrorists and violent extremists are trying to do. They are trying to hurt innocent people, but they also want to inspire fear in all of us, and disrupt the way we live to undermine our values “We all have a role to play as citizens in making sure that we don’t succumb to that fear. And there is no better example of that than the people of New York and New Jersey.”
Folks around here, you know, they don’t get scared. They are tough, they are resilient, they go about their business every single day. And that kind of toughness and resoluteness and a recognition that neither individuals nor organizations like ISIL can ultimately undermine our way of life, that’s the kind of strength that makes me so proud to be an American.” #DamnIwillmissObama