Talking turkey.

Posted November 23, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

What Washington is thankful for this Thanksgiving – they got to play the NY Giants.

Jones said Cowboys “are not a good team right now.” Who said we can’t get agreement on anything in this country?

Wonder how many Americans first became football fans because it provided a distraction from dealing with relatives on Thanksgiving. @NFL

Six Blue Jays rookie league players were suspended for PEDs last weekand Toronto has begun an internal investigation. Over the cheating or over the fact that they were all stupid enough to get caught?

Good for Vikings DE Everson Griffen who could watch his son’s birth. But thinking I’m really glad I had a baby before Facetime.

Think Americans would be more likely to vote if we had to line up and got chance to buy something at half-price afterwards. #BlackFriday

Among the things all Americans can all be thankful for is that sexting – with photos – did not exist when Bill Clinton was President.

Joe Barton threatened to call Capitol police on a woman if she exposed him. Here’s a simpler suggestion for men to avoid exposure – don’t take dick pics.

As shopping season begins, be careful what you wish for. Many political comedians not that long ago were imagining @HillaryClinton presidency & hoping for at least some material.

Trump today said F 35 is literally invisible, “even if you’re flying right beside it.”   Reminds me of time US showed off by flying stealth bomber right over the Rose Bowl.

Donald Trump’s long brag about himself on Twitter & to the Armed Forces making millions of Americans thankful that their most obnoxious relative isn’t THAT bad.

Short version of @realDonaldTrump tweet storm today – “All Americans need to be thankful for ME.”

What I’m really thankful for this Thanksgiving. That Americans still have the right to post tweets making fun of our US President. Let’s hope that continues.

And on a serious note,   I am very thankful for everyone who takes the time to read this blog. You are the reason I write.

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Weekend turkeys?

Posted November 22, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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Cheapest ticket on Stubhub for Stanford game Saturday – $65. For 49ers game Sunday, $25. To be fair, Cardinal has more entertaining team.

Former US Gymnastic doctor Larry Nassar. “I’m so horribly sorry.” Well, he got the horrible part right.

WR Jauan Jennings was dismissed from Tennessee football team after he posted an R-rated Instagram video calling coaches “lying,” “fake” & “snakes.”
And here Volunteers fans thinking their most embarrassing moments this year would be on the field.

Know online shopping is out of control when you’re getting emails advertising “last few hours of pre-Black Friday sale.”

Whoever thought that in any situation involving another person, Lavar Ball would be the adult in the room.

As they blow up the balloons tonight for tomorrow’s #MacysThanksgivingDayParade six words – Must. Not. Make. Chris. Christie. Jokes.

54th anniversary of JFK’s death. Waiting for Trump to tweet “I like Presidents who weren’t assassinated.”

Trump SoHo hotel taking his name off property as it’s hurting their image. Any chance we can do that for White House? Asking for a country.

Trump supporters have no problem w/ Mar-A-Lago as “Winter White House” where all profits flow directly to him. But they sure bitched when Obama rented house in Hawaii.

NYPD detective arrested for burning her husband’s clothes because she thought he was cheating on her. At least she didn’t set the fire w/ him wearing them.

Headline “Congressman tries to explain nude selfie.” Here’s a hint – don’t take one in the first place. #JoeBarton

As the #JoeBarton story (& unfortunate visual) goes viral, how much, again, do I miss Molly Ivins?

Too soon to start a pool on when Trump will endorse Joe Barton?

Like most heterosexual women, I like looking at guys. But doesn’t matter who it is, even George Clooney or Drew Brees . Would rather see them at least partially clothed. 🙂 #Nodickpics

Are women not sexual predators because we’re better people? Or because we aren’t powerful enough to be predators? Would be nice to have enough women in charge to find out..

Real turkeys.

Posted November 22, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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NFL really missing great marketing opportunity – “This Thanksgiving, watch our games instead of talking politics with your relatives.”

Although  football fans in search of a real turkey may have to wait two days past Thanksgiving.  When Tennessee and Vanderbilt, both 0-7 in SEC conference play, play each other.

Ex-Braves GM John Coppolella banned for life from MLB for violating rules on intl signing. You’d think with cheating on that level Atlanta would have better team.

 

Jerry Jones decides not to sue NFL over Roger Goodell’s contract extension. What a relief for all those opposed to billionaire on billionaire violence.

Even though Markelle Fultz is injured, 76ers got to think they dodged a bullet picking him now instead of Lonzo Ball (& dad.)

NASCAR ratings on Fox Sports are down 17% this year. I’m sure it’s all those black drivers kneeling for the National Anthem.

Charlie Rose has been fired. At this point his only hope for a career save is to run for office as Republican promising to support tax cuts.

Following Trump’s pardon Tuesday morning, will Thanksgiving at Mar-A-Lago see Jared and Don Jr. fight over the turkey costume?

GOP & Trump position – only women telling the truth about sexual assault are accusing Democrats.

For those trying to think of something to keep them too nauseous to overeat on Thanksgiving – Roy Moore’s friend, defending Moore’s dating habits – “there’s something about a purity of a young woman.”

By calling all women who have accused him liars, Roy Moore is assaulting them a second time.

Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson & Addie Mae Collins were 14 yrs old, Denise McNair was 11. But according to Trump, Doug Jones, who finally convicted their killers, is “soft on crime.” #deplorable

Who Trump trusts: Roy Moore, Vladimir Putin.
Who Trump doesn’t trust: Everybody else

Maybe Democrats are taking too high a road on their defense of #NetNeutrality. Maybe we just need to shout at men “This will stop your free porn.”

All fall down

Posted November 21, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Georgia Dome imploded today faster than the Falcons did in the last Super Bowl.

 

Alvin Kamara was a third round draft pick. Which means every NFL team passed on him, some at least twice. #Saints

Trump attacked Marshawn Lynch Monday morning, though game was Sunday afternoon.   Guess Fox & Friends must have just covered Lynch’s anthem protest.

As horrifying as it is to watch on many levels, some fascination in watching Donald Trump & Lavar Ball trying to out-grift each other.

That moment when you see #WichitaState trending & end up thinking “Whew,  they’re only involved in a closer-than-expected basketball game –  it’s not a mass shooting.”

 –
Kim Kardashian has fired her longtime personal assistant, Stephanie Shepherd. Missing days when that would be most insane news story.

If women knew there were so many men about to be exposed we could have raised serious money for charity w/ a fundraising “exposed sexual predator” bingo.

Open note to any powerful man who hasn’t been outed yet as a harasser & you’re SERIOUSLY sorry about past behavior, maybe confess now before you have to?

#GlennThrush suspended by NY Times for alleged sexual harassment. Sure it’s just coincidence now he wrote all those negative stories on Hillary Clinton.

 –

Kellyanne Conway & Sarah Huckabee Sanders indicate being predator is OK because tax cuts are more important. How many does candidate have to murder for that to take precedence?

The way some pro Roy Moore Alabama preachers are attacking motives & behavior of teenagers, maybe time to investigate THEIR pasts with girls.

US has travel advisory for Europe over potential terrorist acts around the holidays. Thinking it has to be scarier for Europeans to travel to US with potential mass shootings around the holidays.

 

Jeanine Pirro ticketed for driving 119 mph in a 65 mph zone. Can’t wait to see how Fox News spins this as President Hillary Clinton’s fault.

There’s no crime epidemic involving Haitians, no evidence that people who are here do anything but contribute to USA. Sending 60,000 home is just plain cruelty.

Wait until Trump realizes a-  he can’t deport Puerto Ricans and b- they can vote in Florida.

Ready to give thanks?

Posted November 19, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Just warning that turkey Trump plans to pardon for Thanksgiving. He sure as heck better express gratitude if he wants to live out the weekend.

Redskins had a 99.8% chance of beating Saints with 4 minutes left. Even Patriots have no idea how New Orleans won game.

Still, few things in the NFL are more fun than watching Drew Brees with less than 2 minutes left on the clock.

Colin Kaepernick doesn’t need testimony in his NFL collusion trial – just game day tapes, now adding Nathan Peterman to the list.

 

Steve Kerr on Trump & LaVar Ball “Two people seeking attention & they’re both getting it.” Suggested media stop covering both. #PopovichKerr2020

Over 160,000 Puerto Ricans have moved to Florida. Has anyone told Trump they can vote?

Fired UCLA football coach Jim Mora scheduled to make $3.7 mill a year before bonuses through 2021. Was Calif’s highest-paid state employee. #priorities

Cleveland passed on Carson Wentz,  and he’s turned into a young star. But does anyone doubt that had the Browns chosen Wentz they’d have found a way to screw him up?

Not that I would’ve minded UCLA basketball players spending week in jail. But does anyone doubt China wouldn’t have released them under Obama?

Give @realDonaldTrump credit. Who else could make Lavar Ball and sons into even slightly sympathetic characters?

 

#AMAs – for all those who think outfits worn by presenters & winners at #Oscars are too conventional.

Trump attacks Jeff Flake again on Twitter. If there was only anything Flake could do to really express his displeasure, you know, like vote against tax bill…

Border agent killed, which is awful, but Trump immediately tweets “we will, and must build the wall.” If only he were so quick to respond to mass shootings.

Steven Mnuchin says he takes being compared to a Bond villain as a compliment. He would.

Speaking as a woman, isn’t EVERY day, #InternationalMensDay?

By the numbers.

Posted November 18, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

 

Number 1 Alabama played Mercer today.  And number 2 Clemson played the Citadel.  What, the Cleveland Browns weren’t available?

 

Know Warriors have gotten a little lackadaisical with their starts, but 47 points is probably a little too cocky to allow in the first quarter if they play a real team.

Lavar Ball on the President supposedly getting his son home “Who? What was he over there for? Don’t tell me nothing. Everybody wants to make it seem like he helped me out.” Don’t spread this quote around.  Would upset Trump.

 

Whatever happens the rest of this #Stanford season at least David Shaw figured out teams can go for it on 4th down. #BeatCal

Trader Joe’s has recalled some salads over shards of glass & hard plastic being found inside packaging. At Whole Foods that would have been called “fiber.”

 

Give Ivanka Trump credit. Martha Stewart has been dethroned as queen of “Most Mocked Thanksgiving Hostess.”

The President who never forgets a perceived slight & who can’t go a week without bragging about his election win is tweeting at Hillary Clinton to get on with her life.

So Trump overturns Obama’s anti-poaching law, puts his repeal on hold after outcry, & no now doubt will take credit for saving elephants. #WTF?

Trump is retweeting praise for his decision to review lifting ban on elephant trophies. Somehow I missed tweets from Donny Jr & Eric.

Trump praising himself for overturning his overturning Obama’s ban on elephant trophies is like OJ congratulating civil jury for finding the real killer.

Wes Goodman, married anti-LBGT Ohio lawmaker who resigned after being caught after having consensual sex w/ man in his office, had also gone through anti-gay conversion therapy….

Ryan Seacrest said misconduct allegations from 10 years ago at E! New are “reckless.” How many wonder, was he accused by a man or woman?

David Cassidy, 67, is apparently in a coma in critical condition. Sad. But how did Keith Partridge become 67? I feel old.

#2017In4Words Makes us miss 2016.

The price they pay.

Posted November 17, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: football jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

House tax bill would not allow fans who make mandatory  “donations” to universities for the right to buy expensive college football or basketball tickets to deduct those donations as charity.

Just guessing they’re not hyping this part of the bill in red states.

No Kawhi Leonard, no Tony Parker, 23 point deficit to OKC, and Spurs win.  Just possible Popovich is a very good coach.

Now Jameis Winston accused of groping a female Uber driver. Buccaneers wishing he had stuck to grabbing crab legs?

Gymnast do take hard falls. Has anyone checked #GabbyDouglas for concussions?

Battle between Jerry Jones and Roger Goodell may turn out to be more riveting than 90% of NFL games this season.

Sad when it’s come to seeing #JesseJackson trending & you’re almost relieved it’s “only” Parkinson’s disease – not him dying or being accused of sexual assault.

So after Trump pardons Thanksgiving turkey will he then ship it to Mar-a-Lago to be secretly cooked & sold to guests at $100 a plate?

Saying Mike Pence’s policy of never being alone with another woman makes sense is like saying people should never go to museums w/ famous works of art because it’s too hard to look and not touch.

Trump tweet “Put big game trophy decision on hold until such time as I review all conservation facts. Under study for years. Will update soon with Secretary Zinke. Thank you!”

Who knew that some in the party that doesn’t give a damn about poor children and immigrants have a soft spot for elephants?

Trump “unexpectedly” released list of 5 conservatives he might appoint to Supreme Court. Bribe for when more sexual assault accusations come out?

Kayla Moore says President owes them thank you for taking “focus off Russia.” Except Trump might not be happy – Moore story also takes focus off Trump.

Guess no one told @realDonaldTrump, that a- it’s “FrankenSTEIN,” and b- Frankenstein was the doctor. Monster he created had no name.

Amazing GOP contortions to convince themselves that any woman who accuses a Republican is an angry liar & anyone who accuses a Dem a wronged saint.

 

Sarah Huckabee Sanders – “Difference between Franken and Trump is that Franken has admitted wrongdoing.” Right, adults do that.

 

So with Sarah Huckabee Sanders logic, any man who denies sexual harassment or abuse is innocent.   I missed her exoneration of Bill Clinton.

Trump says Al Franken “really bad.” Because he groped a woman’s breast instead of grabbing her by the pussy?

That moment when you think a zygote is worthy of protection but a teenage girl is not. #KaylaMoore #RoyMoore