In defense-ible

Posted February 20, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

So the meaningless NBA All-Star Game is over. Now we can get back to meaningless regular season games.

 

Well the East did hold the West under 200. #AllStarGame

 

You know, it would have been nice to have just one winter in California between those with  daily drought stories and this year’s daily storm alerts.

Time to start a pool: Where will Trump’s next fictitious terrorist attack supposedly take place?

 

But for now,  congrats to all those who had #Sweden in the Trump insult pool.

 

Has someone explained to @realDonaldTrump that it’s not really Swedish terrorism when you can’t figure out assembly instructions from Ikea?

Gaslighting appears to be so much a part of #Uber culture amazed that Travis Kalanick wasn’t offered position in a Trump cabinet.

Trump “you look at what’s happening #lastnightinSweden..” Another atrocity from the planners of the Bowling Green Massacre?

 

Trump loves to talk about fictitious terror attacks, but when it comes to actual massacre in Quebec City, crickets. Wonder why? #whiteguy

Back during the OJ trial, there were some African-Americans who thought he was guilty, but they were so unhappy with the police and the system that his acquittal was a happy change. Have to wonder if something like this is going on with Trump, that some of his supporters might think he is saying and doing crazy things, but having been so unhappy with the status quo, they’re still happy for the change.

Bus to hell from TC  “North Korean Dick Tater Kim Jong-un supposedly was behind his half-brother being poisoned at an airport in Malaysia. He denied any involvement, but a spokesperson said “It’s a dog eat dog world”.

 

Flat Earth Society

Posted February 18, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: basketball jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

Uh oh, now it’s Draymond Green When asked if he, like Kyrie Irving, believes the world to be flat, Green replied, “I don’t know. I haven’t done enough research. But it may be flat.”
Speaking of research, maybe it wasn’t just the NFL that should have been paying attention to concussions?

 

Kyrie Irving came in second to Eric Gordon in the NBA All-Star 3 point shooting contest. That damn curvature of the earth strikes again.

 

Lebron James “Kyrie is my little brother. If he decides the earth is flat, that’s okay.”

Uh, isn’t one of the jobs of a big brother to tell a little brother when he’s being stupid?

Kyrie Irving is questioning whether dinosaurs existed. Fool, he could have just asked  Tim Duncan, who lived with them. @Spurs

No spring training games, NBA and college basketball games don’t mean anything yet….this is the time of year when ABC’s Wide World of Sports used to give up and show cliff diving.

Local NBC news talking about NBA All-Star weekend “The biggest party in the country is happening this weekend in New Orleans.” Excuse me, on most weekends, the biggest party in the country is happening  in New Orleans.

 

According to Melbourne Police, 9,000 attendees at #TrumpRally today. 9,000?! Even Miami Marlins are thinking that’s a small crowd.

 

Give  Trump credit. How long has it been since most Americans were genuinely disappointed that SNL was taking a weekend off?

Today is #NationalDrinkWineDay. Give @realDonaldTrump for increasingly at least one segment of retail sales.

Spotted at Trump rally in Florida, one man with a t-shirt for the conspiracy site InfoWars, while another wore a “Grab America by the Pussy” shirt. #stayclassy

Still attacking Hillary at #TrumpRally. Someone should tell this man that after winning, the true greats don’t keep dissing their opponents.

 

What is truly amazing is that a man who is basically a media creation views that media as the enemy.

Now Trump is talking about the “Southern White House” Jefferson Davis must be so proud.

 

Trump said he “inherited a mess.” From USA Today “Jobs have been growing for 75 straight months — a record.” Well, he’ll fix that.

#TrumpRally– “I am here because I want to be among my friends.” Anyone but me thinking someone should have given this man a puppy?

 

Trump says Obamacare is “a tragedy, a real tragedy.” Uh, no, Obamacare may be flawed; being without healthcare is a tragedy.

Flat and flat we go.

Posted February 17, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , ,
Kyrie Irving, who attended Duke, stated, “This is not a conspiracy theory. The Earth is flat.” If this doesn’t shatter myth of student athletes….

 

Chris Christie, on NY Sports radio declared “The Phillies suck.” In a tweet, the Phillies responded “We love our fans and appreciate their unwavering support as we “bridge” to a bright future! #wellplayed

 

Angry conservatives trashing Boston #Berklee college of music since they mistake if for Berkeley. Even Stanford fans going really? #spelling

Michael Floyd, released by the Arizona Cardinals after his arrest for “Extreme DUI,” but signed by the Patriots, has been sentenced to 120 days in jail. But he still gets his ring. Yeah, this will teach him.

New Trump martini: Stoli Ohranj with lots of bitters. After two you blame everyone who reminds you of what you said.

Trump rules. All of our White House memos are magic. Once they are leaked they become fake.

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CNN reports Shemichael Singleton, one of HUD Secretary Ben Carson’s top aides, has been fired after an article surfaced that he wrote before the election criticizing Donald Trump.
Uh, if criticizing Trump before the election is disqualifying, there’s going to be a long unemployment line in Washington.

Trump administration is denying an AP report that as many as 100,000 members of the National Guard may be deployed to round up undocumented people in 11 Western states.
What really gives the story the ring of truth, notice “Western” states. Heaven forbid Trump,a die-hard East Coaster, would do anything to affect his or his friends’ businesses.

.-

Apparently retail spending up in US. Makes sense, Trump supporters think he’s going to MAGA, rest of us think if world is ending spend away.

 

 

 

John McCain trashed Trump today in a Munich speech. Gosh, if a Senator only had some actual power to register a statement against the President.

New Trump martini: Stoli Ohranj with lots of bitters. After two you blame everyone who reminds you of what you said.

Distractions.

Posted February 17, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

Pittsburgh police are allegedly considering multiple felony charges against Jets CB Darrelle Revis for his role in a “street altercation early Monday morning.”
Is this a shameless attempt to get the Knicks out of the NY headlines?

Barry Zito’s first album has now made the Billboard Country Music chart, debuting at #39.  39. What are the odds?  The same number as the speed of Zito’s number.

Any chance we can take a page from the @NBA and start instituting technical fouls for Presidents?

 

Tonight at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport a Frontier Airlines and Southwest flight clipped wings. No injuries, although both planes were evacuated. But presumably Southwest requested the video for a “wanna get away” commercial.

Delta is planning to add free meals back to long-haul flights within the US in coach class. Of course, any $20 or so increase in domestic fares would be purely a coincidence.

The #Thimble token has been voted out of the Monopoly game. And millennials are going “What’s a Thimble?”

The FBI arrested a avowed South Carolina white supremacist who was trying to buy a gun from an undercover agent. The man said he wanted to carry out an attack “in the spirit of Dylan Roof.”
But hey, he’s white. So no terrorism problem. Move along, nothing to see here.

As #Trump finds new media targets. remember old saying “If 1 person calls you an ass, ignore them, if 10 call you an ass, buy a saddle.”

Trump says his administration is running “like a fine-tuned machine.” Uh, more like a Rube Goldberg machine . #TrumpNewsConference

So was goal of #TrumpNewsConference to make @SNL give up because they can’t come up with satire stranger than reality?

#TrumpPressConference on Melania “She gets so unfairly maligned…” Guessing he hasn’t seen #FreeMelania movement?

Trump – “We’re gonna find the leakers. They’re going to pay a big price for leaking.” But the stuff they were leaking, on Russia, etc – Move along, nothing to see here.

Ret Vice Adm Bob Harward turned down Trump offer for National Security Advisor. CNN says he told friend it was “a “s*** sandwich,” #myhero

 

JudicialWatch estimated Obama’s travel expenses totaled $97 mill in 2 terms. Taking April 1 in pool for date Trump eclipses that.

A just released nearly 400 page FBI file details an investigation on Trump and his father Fred allegedly “not wanting to rent to blacks” in the 1970s. So this couldn’t have been announced in October along with Weiner’s emails?

 

April Ryan, a longtime White House reporter and Washington bureau chief for American Urban Radio Networks, is African American. She asked Trump today if he planned to include the CBC (Congressional Black Caucus) “in your conversations with your urban agenda, your inner-city agenda.”
He responded by asking if they were “friends of yours,” &, “I tell you what, do you want to set up the meeting?”

So if John Boehner was still around would Trump ask him to set up a meeting with the Orange Caucus? #TrumpPressConference

 

Against all odds

Posted February 15, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, texas jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

Tiger Woods is 20-1 in Las Vegas to win a major in 2017. A major what?

 

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is upset that the NFL might not award future Super Bowls to the state if an anti-transgender bathroom bill passes: “The NFL needs to concentrate on playing football and get the heck out of politics.”
Uh huh. Just guessing most Texans would go for rainbow pins and unisex bathrooms if the alternative is giving up any football.

At a Louisiana high school, Alabama has been banned from campus because of “unethical football recruiting practices.” I’m sure it’s just coincidence that the school is in Baton Rouge.  (home of LSU)

Trump says that unlike President Obama he is not going to publicly fill out a March Madness bracket. But no doubt  he will tell us after the tournament that of course he picked all the winners. A perfect score, the best ever.

Apparently quite a number of celebrities have volunteered to play Trump aides on SNL. The show is getting to be almost as cool again for a cameo as the Simpsons. (or decades ago, Batman.)

Senate voted to block Obama rule prohibiting people w/ serious mental disorders from buying guns. What could go wrong?

All these headlines “Andrew Puzder withdraws” Too bad Frederick Trump didn’t.

Andrew Puzder, who according to CBS News told friends he was “very tired of the abuse” he was getting, is withdrawing his nomination as Labor Secretary. Great choice of words for a man who admitted to employing an undocumented housekeeper and has been accused of domestic violence against his ex-wife.

Who knew an act of resistance might become simply buying a copy of the @NYTimes or @washingtonpost?

 

Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria is being considered for ambassador to France. Tonight Jared Kushner’s father Charles, a convicted felon who’s served prison time, said his family has decided not to try to buy the team.
So at least for now, MLB remains a Trump-free zone. #smallmercies

Trump is now tweeting that NSA &d FBI are “just like Russia.” Well that ought to improve his relations with the intelligence community.

Well, well, well… someone finally remembered where he put his backbone – John McCain says he will oppose confirmation of Trump budget nominee Mick Mulvaney

As of Oct. 2015, there were 8 investigations into Benghazi.  Led by same people who don’t think it’s worth spending time on Russia & election

GOP Reps. Jason Chaffetz and Bob Goodlatte today asked the Inspector General to “begin an immediate investigation into whether classified information was mishandled” with the leaks that led to Michael Flynn’s resignation.
Funny, I missed their outrage when Trump asked Russia to find Hillary’s missing emails.

 

 

Falling towards spring.

Posted February 15, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

Royals pitcher Brian Flynn apparently injured himself by falling through the roof of his barn. Was he washing his truck at the time?

Magic Johnson says on fixing the Lakers that he “wants Kobe to be a part of it.” Well, guess Magic doesn’t think one problem is team chemistry.

The Marlins have lifted their ban on facial hair. So did the team decide they might as well mollify players since they won’t get a chance for playoff beards.

 

All outraged people out there, write yourselves a note, do whatever you need to put it in calendar for next election. “VOTE VOTE VOTE.”

Okay, is it too soon to start a pool on when #kelleyannconway might resign to spend more time with her family?

So is it too early to add @realDonaldTrump to Trump administration resignation bingo game?

 

What if this was all simply a plot to put Mike Pence in the White House?

Trump tweeting his Nothing-to-see-here with Michael Flynn. “The real story here is why are there so many illegal leaks coming out of Washington? Will these leaks be happening as I deal on N.Korea etc?”
Uh, Donald, who needs illegal leaks when you share your dealings with N. Korea with everyone in the MarALago dining room?

Sean Spicer says Flynn resigned. Kellyanne Conway says Trump asked him to resign. Melissa McCarthy and Kate McKinnon better not plan on any Saturday nights off for a while.

So Kellyanne Conway says Flynn resigned because he “knew he’d become a lightning rod.” And he was making the other lightning rods jealous?

Sean Spicer “Irony of situation is President has been incredibly tough on Russia.” Is this some weird political remake of 50 Shades?

 

Sean Spicer -Trump “had an incredibly productive set of meetings & discussions w/ Prime Minster Joe Trudeau of Canada.” To be fair, neither Spicer nor Trump speak Canadian.

CNN is reporting Moscow has deployed a cruise missile in an apparent treaty violation. Uh oh, does that mean Trump might threaten not to send Putin as big a bouquet next Valentine’s Day?

 

 

William Henry Harrison, 32 days, shortest Presidential term ever. So @realDonaldTrump still has 7 days to break record.

from don sherman

“A lot of people are upset that President Trump a phone call on an unsecured phone in front of hundreds of people. REALLY!!!

They should be questioning was, at the time they just served a wedge of ICEBERG lettuce with Blue Cheese dressing.
Iceberg lettuce is the cheapest, least nutritious there is. It cost about a dollar ahead, and can produce 6-8 wedges per head. And he is using it for a state dinner? And an even more important question.

Did it come from California or MEXICO?”

Three and out.

Posted February 14, 2017 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

 

Sigh. Wasn’t that long ago that Warriors managing to lose to Nuggets by 22 points would have been best #WTF comedy fodder of night.

But seriously, a Warriors-Nuggets game MIGHT have been projected as a chance for the all-time NBA three-point record in one game to be tied – just not by Denver.  (24 tonight)

 

Okay, now it’s serious. Donald Trump has to stop grabbing headlines, especially with New York papers. Because Derek Jeter and his wife are having a baby. #Letsfocusontheimportantstuff

Rotten apple story of the day. Although sad, because he probably was abused himself. Jeffrey Sandusky, 41, Jerry’s son, has been arrested and charged with 14 counts of sexual offenses involving children.

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If Trump’s going to do Presidential business in public at #MaraLago maybe activists should apply for positions as waiters?

 

Now Burlington has stopped selling Ivanka Trump products on line. Standby for angry tweets as soon as Trump figures out what Burlington is.

So we now know answer to a future trivia question, who was 1st person to resign or be fired from Trump administration?

 

So let’s see, because Hillary was careless enough to have her emails on a private server, we ended up with a National Security Advisor who was talking illegally with Russia. And he’s likely to be replaced by a man who was sharing classified information with his mistress. What a country.

Stephen Miller  “The powers of the president…will not be questioned.”  Would be nice to have feeling that anyone in administration has read Constitution.

 

Trump apparently using an unsecured Android phone. Hmm, is it really good idea to be alienating high tech folks in California? #Hackers

 

Bummer,  Michael Flynn resigns before @SNL has time to figure out which woman would have played him on next week’s show.

Michael Flynn has resigned. Congrats to all those who had Feb 13 in the pool.

 –

 

“I inadvertently briefed the Vice President Elect and others with incomplete information regarding my phone calls with the Russian Ambassador. ”
“Inadvertently briefed” and “incomplete information.” Doesn’t Flynn know the password is “alternative facts?”

Now Trump’s Labor Secretary pick Andrew Puzder’s nomination may apparently be in trouble. Hmm, dealings with Russia, no experience with what the department does, complete incompetence…. all those are fine, but hiring an undocumented housekeeper might be disqualifying?

 

Former Goldman Sachs exec Mnuchin confirmed as Treasury secretary. Must make those folks who voted against Hillary over her speeches proud