Comes a time?

Posted October 18, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized

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Cubs looking tonight like this may not be their century either.


At Dodger Stadium tonight Cubs fans were chanting “We don’t quit.” I think they meant to replace the “Qu” with an “H.”

#Cubs hitters looked so lost wonder if to get in sync they’ll offer to pay #SFGiants bullpen to fly in & pitch batting practice?

Way to grow the Major League Baseball. The ALCS with Cleveland vs. Toronto is on during the day when many are at work.  And the NLCS with the Cubs vs LA is on FS1, a channel many people, and most hotels, don’t get.

Saddest thing about #NLDS is that 1 inning from #SF bullpen might have kept us from a great #Dodgers #Giants series for pennant. @MLB

About time to put pictures of the #Cubs‘ bats on milk cartons. #NLCS

If Donald Trump was a baseball coach he’d have been thrown out of the game by now.

How statesmanlike of him: John McCain “”I promise you that we will be united against any Supreme Court nominee that Hillary Clinton, if she were president, would put up.”

Scary Trump tweet of the morning. “41% of American voters believe the election could be “stolen” from DonaldTrump due to widespread voter fraud. – Politico”
What’s scariest is that Trump’s antics have convinced enough people that the tweet is accurate.

So Donald Trump is bringing President Obama’s half-brother Malik to tomorrow’s debate. Malik, 58, while still a U.S.citizen, is a Muslim who lives mostly in Kenya, has been accused of domestic violence, and has at least 3 current wives, the last who he married in 2011 when she was a teenager. Just the kind of man the Donald thinks we need more of in this country….


Bill Clinton’s accusers, Barack Obama’s half-brother…. who’s next for @realDonaldTrump to bring to debates. Anyone seen Tipper Gore lately?


Curt Schilling, upset at comparisons to his bloody sock game “Please don’t tweet at me about Bauer.He cost himself a start, likely more, AND his teammates, and fans, dicking around with a drone. #stupid

Of course there’s no comparison. Nor is there any comparison to costing the state of Rhode Island $50 million by “dicking around” with a video game company. #38Studios #stupid


For all those comedy writers worried about going through withdrawal for material after November 8; Curt Schilling announced today on Twitter he is going to run for the Senate in 2018 against Elizabeth Warren. #passthepopcorn

If #CurtSchilling runs for Senate in Massachusetts, how long until #ElizabethWarren  tells him to put a bloody sock in it?

Now Wikileaks’ Julian Assange is claiming that John Kerry cut off his internet at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. And Kerry is thinking, if we had that power don’t you think we would have done it a long time ago?

Actually it turns out Ecuador temporarily restricted Julian Assange’s internet access at their embassy. Might have been easier just to switch him to Windows 2000

So tired of “urgent” fundraising emails  ” Like this one “don’t abandon Hillary, please when she needs us most” (before the last debate.)
Right about now what Hillary really needs is for Donald just to keep talking.

Marc Ragovin “Melania says Donald should be excused for his crass remarks about women because he was egged on by Billy Bush. Hey, if you can get outwitted by Billy Bush, you iz too dumb to be president.”

Forever young at heart?

Posted October 17, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, sports jokes, texas jokes, Uncategorized

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The Nobel Prize committee says that five days after they awarded the Prize for literature to Bob Dylan, they have not yet heard from their newest laureate. Or maybe Dylan has responded and they had no idea what who he was or what he was saying?

The #Big12 today decided not to expand & will stay at 10 members. Why should conference confuse players with a tough concept like math?

Some references today to #ColinKaepernick being a “distraction” for @49ers. Because without him they would only have lost by 20 points?

Trevor Bauer, who cut himself repairing one of his drones,  was not allowed to wear even as much as a Band-Aid on his finger tonight while pitching. The stitches broke, resulting in Bauer having to leave, dripping blood, in the first inning.    Cleveland used a total of 7 pitchers, and kept the Blue Jays to 2 runs.


And that, #SFGiants fans, ladies and gentlemen, is a bullpen. #Indians #ALCS

Wonder many MLB teams are rushing to add “no drones during the season” into their contract  language..

The Los Angeles Dodgers apparently stayed at the Trump hotel in Chicago for their regular season series against the Cubs in May. But Adrian Gonalez, who is of Mexican descent, refused, saying  “I had my reasons.”

Darn, another Dodger I can’t root against.


Anyone but me really tired of pumpkin flavored everything?


Fox News’ Shep Smith has come out as gay. Shocking millions of Americans who thought he was already out.


At a Donald Trump rally in Wisconsin tonight the crowd started chanting “Paul Ryan sucks!” So is this how the Donald would propose to start his State of the Union speech?

Melania Trump said that Donald really didn’t mean the things he said to Billy Bush, but that Bush had “egged him on.” Well it’s a good thing that Putin, or Congress, would never egg Trump on while in office.

As an anonymous friend said ““My husband can’t throw footballs and grab pussies at the same time!”

Donald Trump  said #SNL should be cancelled & was “unfunny.” Uh, if unfunny on occasion was reason enough, SNL would have been cancelled years ago.

Women who have come forward about #Trump‘s groping them can take comfort, he didn’t mean it, he was just trying to impress #BillyBush.

Going long

Posted October 16, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

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Today Drew Brees threw for 465 YDS & 4 TD, and the @Saints barely won. Rumor has it there is part of an NFL game you can play called “defense.”

Latest college football rankings, #Pac12 has exactly 2 teams in the top 25. Traditional powers Washington and.. Utah?

#LARams have got to be lying awake at night wondering how they ever lost to this #49ers team. #SFvsBUF

#RudyGuiliani today said he “would have to be a moron to say” that the election “is going to be fair.” And his point is?


Lots of verbal attacks on #ColinKaerpernick in Buffalo today. Silly Bills fans. Did they realize that Kap & the 49ers might have provided the best home game entertainment they’ll see all year?. Next visitors – the Patriots.


Hard to be an #SFGiants fan watching Puig against Chapman.  No way to root for them both to fail.

Altamonte Springs, my high-school home town: A woman was arrested this week after posting video online of her son driving her car – the boy is 7 years old. Back on your game, Florida.

Never thought I’d say anything positive about Sarah Palin. But at least she had a sense of humor. Trump tweet of the day “Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me.Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!”

Whatever happens in election suppose both @HillaryClinton & @realDonaldTrump can both take credit for helping to resurrect #SNL


Trump is insisting that he has lost “large numbers of women voters based on made up events THAT NEVER HAPPENED.” But those “wonderful” and “courageous” women speaking out about Bill Clinton – their stories are 100% true….

Apparently someone threw a bottle of flammable liquid through the window of a GOP office in North Carolina. And Trump tweeted “Animals representing Hillary Clinton and Dems in North Carolina just firebombed our office in Orange County because we are winning.”
Now, Hillary decried the act, but I guess I’m missing something – if Trump’s followers are violent it’s a righteous rage, but if it’s his opponents they are animals?

This is actually really scary, according to a poll from the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. “Only about one-third of Republicans said they have a great deal or quite a bit of confidence that votes on Election Day will be counted fairly.”
But has it occurred to Trump that if Hillary really could rig an election, she’d have done it starting with the 2008 Democratic primaries?


As Trump talks about the election ” absolutely being rigged,” including at many polling placs, have to ask…. has the Donald actually BEEN to a polling place? Last time before I gave up and decided to vote by mail, the average poll workers were “mature” to say the least, and having a hard time just matching voters to their lists. Not exactly the folks you’d enlist in a complicated conspiracy.


This morning on “Meet the Press” Mike Pence ” We will absolutely accept the result of the election.” So with all the people Trump has attacked on Twitter, how long until he adds his running mate to the list?

From my friend TC, sent to him by Berney:   img_0806

The not-quite-put-up-a-fight-ing Irish?

Posted October 15, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

If Stanford could have just kept their defense on the field the whole time they might have beaten Notre Dame more decisively.

Admittedly I’m an #NL fan, but #AL fans claim they love the DH because it results in so much more offense. Uh, #ALCS, #Notexactly

Watching the Dodgers and Cubs in NLCS.  Nice I suppose to see that the SF Giants don’t have a monopoly on bullpen meltdowns.


Kylie Jenner to, “I’ve been famous for what feels like my whole life. I just want to know what it feels like not to be.”
Uh, for starters #deleteyouraccount?

Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phones, recalled over a month ago, have now basically been banned from all aircraft. But okay, if you’re smart enough to handle a smartphone how are you stupid enough still to have a Galaxy Note 7?

Donald Trump has called for drug tests before the next debate, saying that he believes Hillary must be on PEDs to get her “pumped up.” Well, actually, most Americans would love to know what the Donald might be on.

All Trump casinos are now closed. Which means you can’t even go to one to place a bet on the final number of women who will come forward to accuse the Donald of sexual assault.


#BillyBush is donating $10 million NBC severance package to women’s charities. Good to know SOMEONE has evolved since that #Trump interview.

If elections and media were really as rigged as @realDonaldTrump says, does he think he’d have gotten anywhere near nomination?

Trump’s tweet “Nothing ever happened with any of these women. Totally made up nonsense to steal the election. Nobody has more respect for women than me!”
And then will the Donald invite Bill Clinton’s accusers back to the next debate

Wow. Wikikeaks transcripts from Hillary Clintons’s speeches to Goldman Sachs indicate she didn’t directly blame Wall Street for the 2008 financial meltdown. In related news did the leaks also say water is wet?

Okay, this just released leaked Goldman Sachs from Hillary Clinton should get 100% bipartisan applause: “Look, I am of the mind that we cannot have endless campaigns “It is bad for the candidates. It’s bad for the country. I mean, part of the reason why it’s difficult to govern is because an election ends and then the next day people start jockeying.

Even if ALL Bill Clinton’s accusers were telling the truth and all Trump’s accusers were lying, which I don’t believe, Donald Trump has said and done enough to show he should never be allowed closer to the White House than his new D.C. hotel. Period.


The heart of Rock and Roll?

Posted October 14, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Still beating, in Cleveland?


Cleveland Cavaliers are champions.. Indians looking good. But God telling Browns fans –  “Sorry, above my pay grade.”

For SF Giants fans going through withdrawal, Blue Jays had  a RISP in each of 1st 4 innings, without scoring. #seenthisscriptbefore


Cleveland pitcher Trevor Bauer had his Game 2 ALCS start pushed back to Game 3 because he cut his pinkie finger repairing a propeller on one of his drones.
SF Giants fans are thinking “Has he been hanging out with Jeremy Affeldt?”

New potential slogan for #Blackberry: Our phones may be outdated but at least they don’t blow up?

Curt Schilling, defending Donald Trump’s comment about the 10-year-old girl – “If intimating a young lady will grow up to be stunningly beautiful = child molestation you’re liberal and voting for a scumbag.”
Uh, Curt, that’s not what Trump said. He said “Can you believe I’m going to be dating her in 10 years.” Put a bloody sock in it.

United Airlines computer glitches last night cancelled some flights and delayed others for hours. Who needs hackers when you have aging technology and incompetence?

Go figure: A roundtrip ticket San Francisco to Denver on United is 219.20. Extra legroom seats add $159.00. How long until people start just booking a second seat?

#Obama has lifted restrictions on bringing #Cuban cigars & rum back into US. Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement anymore?


Fox’s Lou Dobbs has apologized after claiming Jessica Leeds, one of the women accusing Trump of groping her, had the same phone number as the Clinton Foundation, and then tweeting her phone number and address to his almost 800,00 followers.
If MSNBC had tweeted the address and phone number of a Trump supporter, the GOP would be calling for a Congressional investigation.

Now Donald Trump has insulted a Kardashian, Khloe, calling her a “fat piglet.” Pass the popcorn & make it a large.

Ben Carson, still defending Trump, said today on Morning Joke, that before nations topple, they “take their eye off the ball, start engaging in things that really don’t matter that much — not that sexual language and abuse is not important, but when you’re talking about the train going off the cliff you really need to deal with that first.”

Well, unless of course you’re talking about the husband of the Democrat nominee, then those things are critical.

Got it, so all Trump’s accusers are liars, all Bill Clinton’s accusers are saints. Especially as  Bill was caught bragging on tape… Wait. never mind

Trump today on Hillary Clinton “The other day I’m standing at my podium and she walks in front of me, right? She walks in front of me and when she walked in front of me. Believe me, I wasn’t impressed.”
So let’s see, Hillary is qualified to be leader of the free world, but not attractive enough for him to hit on?


With the tone of this election President Obama @POTUS is likely to be the most popular President EVER on day before January’s inaugural.



Who knew that @realDonaldTrump was probably looking at #BillCosby and thinking “amateur.”


The times they are a changin’

Posted October 13, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, holiday jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

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I missed it, when did “pressure” in baseball become a “high-leverage” situation? #DodgersvsNats #NLDS #MLBPlayoffs

Congrats to Bob Dylan. Who knew, for all the Nobel Prize winning literature I had to read in college, I was actually voluntarily listening to it in my dorm room.


With Cleveland in the ALCS the talk has begun again but them needing to change their mascot name as being denigrating to Indians.   But while we’re at it, is the SF Giants name somehow indicative of a bias against more vertically-challenged people?

The Nationals had said Stephen Strasburg, who missed the NLDS, would not be ready to return if Washington made it into the NLCS. So this is one of the postseasons they shut him down for in 2012?

Love #DustyBaker but as #SFGiants fan still get knot in stomach watching him manage late innings bullpen. #DodgersvsNats

When Dusty Baker moved to his fifth pitcher in an inning, SFGiants fans were thinking , “we’ve have seen this script before, and it wasn’t a good one.


4 1/2 hours  and it didn’t even go extras. Even #RedSox & #Yankees are thinking this is a LONG game. #NLDSGame5 #DodgersvsNats

Congrats to  the Dodgers.But maybe Daniel Murphy’s infield fly with the winning run on base is God’s way of saying He/She is okay with the  “gay lifestyle.”


Slam magazine rated Carmelo Anthony the 15th-best player in the NBA. Melo said it was “disrespectful.” Maybe to the people ranked 16 through 30?

We interrupt the snark for a NICE off-field NFL story: Eagles QB Carson Wentz, 23, who played at North Dakota State, went back during Philly’s bye week to a local bar in Fargo, ran up a $1,000 tab with friends, and left a $500 tip.

At this point no way of knowing which recently leaked emails involving Hillary are real and which are fake. But okay folks, how many of us really want our friends, family, coworkers etc to know everything we’ve ever said about them in “private”?

Chris Christie has been given a criminal summons to appear at a Bridgegate hearing later this month. Maybe Trump should have chosen the NJ governor as a running mate. Would distract attention now from some of these tapes, etc.

Michele Bachmann says that Hillary  Clinton has an “anti-biblical” agenda. As opposed to  Donald Trump “Grope forth and multiply?


Rush Limbaugh, railing about the “Donald Trump sex-talk scandal” “If the left ever senses and smells that there’s no consent in part of the equation, then here come the rape police.”
Uh, yeah… and his point is?


Just imagine if one of #BillClinton‘s accusers also said she was treated inappropriately by #DonaldTrump

Donald Trump’s response to a People Magazine reporter who said he had attacked her “Take a look, you take a look, look at her, look at her words — you tell me what you think. I don’t think so.”
Okay, time to open the pool on the gender gap in this years election? About 50 points seems a good start….

Interesting, got a travel agent survey asking if I am more or less likely to recommend Trump properties since he became a candidate, if my clients are more or less likely to ask for Trump properties, if clients have refused to stay in a Trump property…… and if any of this has changed since the “Access Hollywood” tapes….
If this was campaign was a build-a-brand exercise for the Donald, it’s not working.


The NY Times, in response to a demand by Trump to retract its groping story or be sued “We decline to do so.” And then “the essence of a libel claim, of course, is the protection of one’s reputation…. Nothing in our article has had the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, has already created for himself.”

Stages of grief?

Posted October 12, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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So denial, then anger. Is the bargaining phase when we start rooting for #DustyBaker at least to get a ring? @SFGiants


What time is the game on tomorrow? Oh wait…. Yeah, baseball is designed to break your heart. #MLB #SFGiants

So in looking on bright side as #SFGiants fan, if #BlueJays make it to #WorldSeries we might get to watch #JustinTrudeau attend games.

#SFGiants going into late innings with 5 runs and a big lead does not appear to be a winning strategy. #NLDSGame4 #WorldSeries2002

Meanwhile, the San Diego Padres have fired their President after the team missed the postseason for the 10th straight year. So wonder who the next interim president will be.

Lebron James “In our locker room, they talk about sports highlights from the previous night, family and game strategy. what that guy was saying, that’s not — I don’t know what that is. That’s trash talk.”
It’s getting harder and harder to dislike King James.

The NFL is now penalizing players using Saints WR Brandin Cooks bow-and-arrow touchdown celebration, which he has always said was a sign of his faith in God. They say the gesture “mimics a violent act.”
A football league. “A violent act.”  And they said it with a straight face.

You can’t make this stuff up. Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway told GOP leaders who may be wavering in their support: “Enough of the pussyfooting around”
So was that supposed to be an attention grabbing comment?

The SF Chronicle reported that earlier this month Alaska AIrlines removed a passenger who was harassing a female flight attendant, saying things like “oooh, sexy,” during the safety demonstration. So did the guy think he was in a locker room or something?.


So I assume Russian hackers are only leaking emails from Democrats because Republicans never have said anything untoward in an email?


At a Florida rally, Donald Trump’s response after a woman fainted: “That woman was out cold, and now she’s coming back! We don’t go by these new – and very much softer – NFL rules. Concussions ‘Oh, you’ve got a little ding on the head. No, no, you can’t play for the rest of the season.’ Our people are tough.”
So let’s add NFL players and others who have suffered serious brain injuries to the list of people the Donald has taunted. Who had October 12 in the pool?

(My friend Linda points out, but if Hillary faints, she’s unfit for the Presidency.”)


Less than noble stuff in latest #wikileaks #PodestaEmails.  But I’m sure most of us never say or email anything we wouldn’t want on front page


Even #BIllCosby has to be looking at #Trump & saying “Are you kidding me?”


This Donald Trump sexual assault issue is rapidly becoming another “He said, she said, she said, she said, she said, story.:”

And no doubt the Trump campaign’s response will be to dredge up more allegations against Bill Clinton. When this election is over most of America will be ready for a good hot long shower….



From Marc Ragovin:  “Melania Trump announced today that Donald will no longer be in charge of assembling the grab bags for their son Baron’s upcoming birthday party”