And the Thunder rolled…

Posted May 17, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Golden State Warriors not happy about a non-traveling call on ‪#‎Westbrook‬. And refs are thinking “Calling traveling on a superstar? How quaint.”

And the Spurs went from thinking at halftime  with the Golden State-Oklahoma City game-  “How did we ever lose to this team? to  “Maybe it’s not just that we’re old.”

Beginning to think it’s just possible that Billy Donovan is a very good coach.

 

#‎SFGiants‬ are on the road but ‪#‎Westbrook‬‘s postgame outfit would fit right in at ‪#‎ATTPark‬. Trying to challenge ‪#‎OrangeandBlack‬ attack?

Tim Lincecum reportedly signing with Angels. So maybe at this point in his career ‪#‎Timmy‬ doesn’t want to deal with any more playoff pressure?

Biggest disappointment for MLB after yesterday’s brawl – unless Toronto gets hot and makes the playoffs, the Blue Jays and Rangers won’t play again in 2016. ‪#‎ratings‬

 

This weekend’s series between the SF Giants and Chicago Cubs opens up with Jake Peavy vs. Jake Arrieta. Well, after Peavy’s good start in Arizona, there’s only a little more than 6 runs difference in their ERA. (7.43 to 1.29)
Hope the Giants have a good stock of beer at AT&T Park.

Meanwhile, at the Atlanta Falcons’ new stadium, the team will offer some of the lowest concession prices in sports, with a hot dog being only $2 and a beer being $5. Maybe the SF 49ers should consider a similar idea, especially on the beer. Seems like fans are going to need it.

EasyJet is bankrolling newly invented “Sneakairs”, which are shoes that connect to a smartphone via Bluetooth and vibrate to tell the wearer which way to turn. The airline hopes to sell them on board.
Just what we need, instead of looking at their phones, tourists will run into things because they are fascinated by their shoes.

John Kasich said he is “not inclined” to serve as Donald Trump’s running mate. Hmm, what’s next, the Ohio governor saying he’s “1,000 percent against it?”

Trump calls Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas.” Maybe a  bit of a “glass houses” insult coming from someone who wears a beaver pelt on his head?

The NY Times reports that Donald Trump plans to bring up Bill Clinton’s infidelities in the campaign. Because a real man would have married at least one of the younger women he had affairs with?

Ralph Nader is now complaining that Hillary Clinton is going to win the Democratic primary “by dictatorship’ Because Nader hasn’t done enough for moderates and liberals this century already? ‪#‎unsafeatanyspeed‬

Rangers’ 2B Rougned Odor says he doesn’t regret punching Jose Bautista, but expects a suspension. And who knows, maybe an offer from more than one NFL team.

Mark Sanchez just underwent surgery on his left thumb and will miss the the start of offseason training activities. Apparently a weight room injury. Butt, how did he fumble into this one?

 

RIP Dick McAuliffe. Damn. For the uninitiated, especially my SF Giants fan friends,  consider him the Joe Panik or Robby Thompson of the 1968 World Champion Detroit Tigers. ‪#‎youneverforgetyourfirstlove‬.

In this corner, or rather base….

Posted May 16, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Today’s Rangers Blue Jays brawl started by Rougned Odor and Jose Bautista lasted long enough it should have been on pay-per-view .

Next Toronto-Texas game may instead of a line-up card feature an under-card?

But seriously, how long since a Blue Jays-Rangers game was the leading baseball story on Sportscenter?

 

Rougned Odor is likely to be suspended for his punch today. Wonder the suspension would preclude Odor from taking suspended heavyweight challenger Alexander Povetkin’s place in that WBC bout?

First Justin Trudeau, then they get one of the four remaining teams in the NBA playoffs. Now Canada’s just piling on.

Now that the ‪#‎Raptors‬ have finally made a conference final does that mean there’s hope for the ‪#‎MapleLeafs‬? ‪#‎Toronto‬ ‪#‎letsnotgetcarriedaway‬

 

Meanwhile, the SF Giants swept the Diamondbacks, 2-1.  But considering it took instant replay to keep Casilla from blowing save #4 maybe Santiago might be done for a while from complaining about Bochy’s lack of faith in him.

The Giants actually only scored one of their runs when Matt Cain was pitching, continuing a streak over years where Cain receives some of the least run support in the majors.  Maybe next time Cain pitches, ‪#‎SFGiants‬ should start a reliever just for the 1st batter in 1st inning,  just to fool the hitters into not going into ice cold mode.

 

Heard announcer refer to ‪#‎NYKnicks‬ coaching job as “one of most coveted in sports. Well, many do want to grow up to be circus ringmasters

A newly discovered sinkhole in Florida may show that humans lived there 1,500 years earlier than expected. Amongst the finds inside was reputedly a tattered Tim Duncan jersey.

President Obama told the Rutgers Class of 2016 today, “let me be as clear as I can be: In politics and in life, ignorance is not a virtue,” Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.

Donald Trump now called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas” in an interview. Pass the popcorn, this should be fun.

 

So I actually saw a serious anti-Clinton tweet saying that Hillary takes selfies and Bernie doesn’t. The rest of the world must think we have gone absolutely mad.

A new kind of danger zone?

Posted May 14, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized

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The movie “Top Gun” turns 30 his week. Now when its stars are asked if they still have a “Need for Speed,” the response is likely to be “Depends.”

A woman in labor was stranded in a four hour traffic jam on the Tappan Zee bridge and finally, with police help, ended up getting through but still having her baby in the hospital parking lot. Did they name the little girl “Christie?”

 

Words of wisdom from Russell Wilson to University of Wisconsin graduates: ” I’m also here to share some things I’ve learned,” Wilson. “Things like, if you’re dating a woman that’s way out of your league, ask her to marry you. If you can throw a football 80 yards, for some reason, people think that’s pretty cool. And if you’re playing the Patriots in the Super Bowl, and you’ve got 26 seconds left and you’re down by four, and it’s second and goal on their 1-yard line, try not to throw an interception. That’s purely, purely hypothetical though, of course.”

Apparently more than 1.2 million people have signed a pledge to boycott Target over their announcement to let transgender customers use whichever bathrooms they want.
Hmm, time to start a petition to see how many millions of Americans are now MORE likely to shop at Target? ‪#‎canwefocusonrealissuesforachange‬?

A study in Italy found that Botox facial treatments may affect the brain and people’s ability to process other people’s emotions. Or it may simply be that the more people focus on freezing their faces in time, the less energy they have for caring about other people’s emotions.

The NBA draft lottery is next week, But the draft itself might be only 4 days after the Championship is over. The NFL is trying to figure out how they can do that. ‪#‎yearroundleague‬

Ivanka Trump said about her father has “created dialogue around issues. It’s a powerful thing.” Yeah, how often before in American politics have we had discussion about hand size, and as Trevor Noah says, a candidate wanting to “bang his own daughter.”

 

George Zimmerman has apparently reposted the auction for his sale of the gun with which he shot Trayvon Martin “The previous auction and bids were purged due to illegitimate bidding. Yes, this auction is real.”
The minimum bid is $100,000, instant purchase price $500,000. Too much to hope that you CAN go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public?

 

 

 

A father and son pair of tourists at Yellowstone National Park reportedly put a bison calf in their SUV in order “to save it from the cold.” The two humans received tickets, and the calf was released. And presumably “Mama Bison” being elsewhere at the time of the pickup kept the pair from a much deserved Darwin award..

Playoffs, eh?

Posted May 14, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

So the Air Canada Centre in Toronto is hosting an NBA  playoff game 7 on Sunday. And  Maple Leafs fans are going “What’s a game 7?”

(one of myCanadian friends says they are asking “what’s a playoff?)

The losers of the Ohio State spring football game were penalized by having to shovel mulch.  Of course, if Urban Meyer really wants to motivate players, he could make the losers go to class.

Well, if you believe in redemption, here’s your potential made-for-TV sports movie story of the day. Matt Bush was the #1 MLB draft pick in 2004, and went off the rails big time. Drunken fights, accusations of assault, and finally 3 years in jail prison a DUI causing serious injury. He was released last December. And today the Texas Rangers have called him up to the big leagues. Who knows, maybe there’s hope for Johnny Manziel.

 

A New York celebrity vegan chef who ran a restaurant called Pure Food and Wine has been arrested in Tennessee after a months’ long chase after she allegedly didn’t pay wages, and cheated on taxes etc. The best part of this, she and her husband were caught after they ordered a Domino’s pizza.

SF Giants’ closer Santiago Casilla, upset when manager Bruce Bochy pulled him in the 9th with two outs, and a 4-2 lead, after he had loaded the bases, the last on a 4 pitch walk, and was facing a batter who hit a home run against him last time. “It’s my opportunity to find out who’s who…. You have to let me try to see if I can get him out.”
Uh, or maybe you have to let Bochy try to see if the Giants could win the game?

 

(although curiously enough three things happened Friday.  1. Casilla apologized.  2. Bochy gave him another chance. 3. He struck out both batters.)

 

If it’s all about keeping children safe from potential predators, waiting for someone to demand that priests be kept out of men’s rooms.

Donald Trump to a reporter who asked about his tax returns: “It’s none of your business, you’ll see it when I release.”
Ah yes, only the little people answer questions about their taxes.

Apparently a man offering “free hugs” in Times Square slugged a Canadian woman in the face after she refused to tip him. Well, or maybe that’s his idea of a New York hug.

 

Jose Reyes was suspended 51 days over his domestic violence arrest. Imagine if he had done something really serious, like buying an over-the-counter supplement in the Dominican Republic.

For better for worse.

Posted May 13, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Disappointing  loss for the Spurs tonight.  But truly cool fans showing up at the airport anyway.

 

airport

The ACC is going to be the 1st NCAA conference to use a football relay command center in 2016, with the system installed at all league venues and Notre Dame. Now that’s funny. As if any official would EVER overturn a call against Notre Dame

 

Kenya may be banned from the Rio Olympics due to the country’s anti-doping agency being “non-complaint.”
Well, if the Olympics actually happen might mean some Americans now have hope in the middle-distance events and the marathon.

 

Target CEO Brian Cornell on the “bathroom boycott. “We took a stance, and we’re going to continue to embrace our belief of diversity and inclusion.” Well, good for him, and just guessing that the policy probably gets Target as many customers as it loses. ‪#‎tolerance‬

‪#‎JohnnyCueto‬ tonight raised his record to 5-1, and  made $130 million 6 year contract look like a bargain. Especially compared to ‪#‎ZackGreinke‬‘s $205 deal. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

 

‪#‎Bochy‬ and ‪#‎Casilla‬ tonight changed their. Facebook relationship status to “It’s complicated.” ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Very cool, Steph Curry has donated the Kia Sorrento he won as the NBA MVP to a local homeless shelter for young adults. Of course could we really see the league’s MVP driving around in a Kia?

 

A new report said Boston was a better hub for startups than San Francisco. Because during Boston winters, and summers, there’s no option but staying inside and working?

Dan Quayle has endorsed Donald Trump. Is he hoping for another stint as V.P. “I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good judgments in the Future.”

Maryland’s governor just signed a bill that requires insurers to cover all forms of contraception, including over-the-counter medications AND vasectomies. The bill had bipartisan support. While some in the GOP argued about the cost, insurance companies said the cost to the system would go down.
Ya think? Babies are expensive.

 

40 percent of ‪#‎NBA‬ teams will start 2016-7 season with new coach from 2015-16. So far. Are we sure Al Davis’s ghost isn’t running the league

A TSA glitch resulted in over 3,000 checked bags not being loaded onto flights at Phoenix Airport this morning. Think I see serious potential for another “Wanna get away” Southwest ad.

Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson says that “Just because a man may ‘feel’ like a woman doesn’t mean he can share a bathroom with my daughter or yours.”
Okay, fine but what about transgender men, who were born female? They often have beards. Serious beards. So I guess Phil is okay with them in women’s bathrooms? Sigh.

All these people say they want Donald Trump as President because the political system is broken and they want an outsider to come in and fix it. Well, there’s a lot of problems with medicine in this country, that’s why when we’re really sick we want someone who doesn’t come from the AMA and med school system….

Apparently George Zimmerman’s online auction for the gun he used to kill Trayvon Martin has been pulled. So there IS an answer to the question “How low can you go?”

Match made in somewhere?

Posted May 11, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

For all those who have wondered how Heidi Cruz could possibly put up with Ted, this is Heidi yesterday, saying the campaign was not in vain “God does not work in four-year segments.”Be full of faith and so full of joy that this team was chosen to fight a long battle Think that slavery — it took 25 years to defeat slavery. That is a lot longer than four years.”
And just think, she could have been First Lady. ‪#‎madeforeachother‬

 

Donald Trump is still stonewalling on calls to release his tax returns, saying in an AP interview. “there’s nothing to learn from them.”
“Nothing to learn…” Am sure the Donald will say the same thing about Hillary’s emails and Goldman Sachs speeches..

 

 

#‎MaxScherzer‬ had 20 strikeouts today. Wonder how many frustrated fans had 1st reaction “Didn’t even know ‪#‎Nats‬ were playing the ‪#‎SFGiants‬

 

When you are 4 for 43 with RISP shouldn’t it be RIBSP? “Runners in Being Stranded Position.”. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Figures after a week where the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ seem to have forgotten they have bats, they win in the 13th without a hit and walk-off walk.

 

Just when you think humanity can’t go any lower, here’s breaking news out of Florida: “George Zimmerman auctioning off gun that he used in Trayvon Martin shooting.”
Not sure which is lower though about this auction, George or the bidders. ‪#‎WishthisweretheOnion‬

Gwyneth Paltrow has a “lifestyle” site, “Goop,” with various items for sale. Including now a $15,000 24-karat gold plated dildo, which includes “free discreet shipping, A PDF manual, and a 10-year warranty. But it’s not as if Paltrow is out of touch with ordinary people – the site sells a silver model for only $7,900.

Way to get that sponsor love – Former MLBer Brandon Laird, now playing in Japan, hit a home run off a Kirin beer sign and won $10,000 plus a year’s worth of beer. When asked what he would do with the prize, Laird responded “Definitely not drink it. Maybe give some to the batting practice pitchers or whoever wants it.”

The NBA has acknowledged they made two mistakes against the Spurs in the end of last night’s loss, first, a non-call when Kawhi Leonard tried to foul Kevin Durant at the end of the game, second a foul called against Danny Green when he was tripped by Steven Adams and fell into Durant.
Well, this ought to do wonders to reassure people who think the league is fixed.

 

In Massachusetts, a man who was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and told staffers the “devil was playing tricks on his mind,” was released the same day/ He then went on a stabbing rampage, killing two people and injuring two others before he was himself fatally shot by an off-duty deputy. ‪#‎Ifonlyhewerearmed‬

Lost?

Posted May 11, 2016 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

 

‪#‎SFGiants‬ offense making a strong bid to be featured on milk cartons.

 

Would say ‪#‎SFGiants‬ offense was on life-support but based on last few games most doctors would have pulled the plug by now.

Has someone informed ‪#‎SFGiants‬ that you have to score the old-fashioned way to win? Penalty kicks are not an option.

In California, the assembly has advanced a bill that would require all single-stall public restrooms to be gender neutral. So would the toilet seat be required to be left up, or down?

At the Standard Hotel in Manhattan, a man says a woman he had just met went back to his hotel room with him at 4a and ended up stealing a diamond engagement ring.. Well, not sure when the guy was planning to propose, but if his would-be fiancee hears the story, he won’t need the ring anyway.

#‎Curry‬ is 1st NBA unanimous MVP. After last night any voter who’d toyed with putting him 2nd to make a point is probably happy they didn’t.

President Obama signed a bill making the bison the US animal. Makes sense to do it now, with the risk of a Trump presidency the Donald might want to give that title to the furry thing that lives on his head.

Disney stock tumbled 5% because their earnings for for last year were “only” $2.14 billion. ‪#‎whatswrongwiththispicture‬?

#‎McDonalds‬ is testing garlic fries but running out of ingredients. Does that mean we can blame ‪#‎SFGiants‬ for future US garlic shortage?.

 

Ted Cruz is suggesting he might not be done in 2016 – “We suspended the campaign because I can see no viable path to victory. Of course if that changed we would reconsider things.”
For someone who claims to hear directly from God, you would think he’d pay a bit more attention to God shouting “Ted, give it up already.”

Budweiser has announced that they will change their beer label to read “America” until the 2016 Presidential election. Because thinking of our options makes most Americans want to chug beer?

Royals’ minor leaguer Raul Mondesi, 20, son of the former Dodger etc, has received a reduced suspension of 50 days (instead of 80.) for a steroid, after he showed it came from an over-the-counter supplement. Mondesi “Never did I intend to take a substance that would give me an unfair advantage on the field. It is solely my mistake and there are no excuses for my carelessness in not being fully informed of what I put in my body.”
Now, seems like the kid is on the level, but maybe MLB just once should reduce the suspension of the first guy who says honestly “Yeah, I took PED’s – you have any idea how hard it is to be THAT close to the majors?”

 

From Marc Ragovin  “An ad in NYC for Delta Airlines has the line “We Go Wherever They Go” over a picture of the Yankees taking the field. So I called up and asked how much two tickets to the cellar would cost me.”


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