Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

So much “winning with class…”

April 14, 2018

“The 49ers organization is aware of today’s disturbing charges regarding Reuben Foster. Reuben is aware his place in our organization is under great scrutiny and will depend on what is learned through the legal process.”

SF 49ers LB Reuben Foster just charged w/ felony domestic violence Thursday after alleged attack on girlfriend in Feb. And 29 other teams who passed on the star LB in NFL draft have to be feeling pretty good about that decision.

As the Trump housekeeper rumors hit the 24 hour news cycle I remember one of my favorite “Tonight Show” episodes with Johnny Carson and Joan Rivers. They were arguing over whether men or women were better. After a bit of back and forth, Joan said, “Johnny, a woman always knows EXACTLY how many children she has in the world”
Johnny started to respond, stopped, thought about it for a second, and said “You win.”.

 

Maybe it’s just me, but thinking that for 49ers fans giving Richard Sherman a pass on some past behavior is a no-brainer compared at this point to defending Reuben Foster.

I really miss days when troubled relationship between a Kardashian and an NBA player would have been the biggest social media concern of the week

New study found “night owls” — people who prefer to stay up later — had a 10% higher mortality rate than early birds. Well of course, probably stress-related illnesses caused by putting up with morning people.

Amazed how conservatives who talk about “gay lifestyle” and “perversion” seem to have no problem with heterosexuals who cheat on their (plural) wives. #Pompeo

 

Mitch McConnell is married to Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao. So would they have to retire together to use the “spend time with family” excuse?

If Donald  Trump could make millions on Trump-branded marijuana he’d probably change his mind on legalization too. #JohnBoehner

 

It’s not that a doorman got $30,000 and a porn star got $130,000. I want to know who got the REAL big $$$ from Donald Trump.

Maybe Trump is afraid we’ll find out about an illegitimate daughter because he tried to date her?

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Forget shooting someone on 5th Avenue. Beginning to think if @realDonaldTrump told his fans “Sorry suckers, it was never about MAGA it’s just about making me richer,” they’d respond “Isn’t he wonderful being so honest.”

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The bigliest dogs?

April 14, 2018

(and yeah, this post is out of order. Can we blame Trump?)

 

QB Mark Sanchez suspended 1st four games of 2018 NFL season for Performance Enhancing Drug use. Well, whatever he took, it didn’t work.

Sebastian Janikowski, 40 has signed with Seattle Seahawks. Wonder if Adam Vinatieri texted him “Good luck, young man.”

Let’s be real, if Colin Kaepernick was as much of a star now as Reuben Foster he could kneel AND be charged with felony domestic violence and still have a job.

Dez Bryant story today illustrates a sports-truism – you can be an a**hole, only as long as you’re a super-star a**hole. #Cowboys

Derek Jeter won’t attend Marlins games in NY, saying “it would be an awkward situation for me to actually go to Yankee Stadium.” Because he’s no longer in pinstripes,  or because Giancarlo Stanton is hitting .220 with 25 strikeouts?

 

So sad about #HueyLewis losing his hearing and canceling concerts. But these days kind of a relief to see him trending & finding out it’s not for sexual harrassment or dying.

Mueller apparently has found out that despite his disavowals,   Michael Cohen actually WAS in Prague in 2016.  Czech mate?

What Scooter Libby did in exposing Valerie Plame was treason. It endangered her life. But hey, Trump needed to signal – there is no floor on “how low can you go?”

Now that RNC deputy finance chair has resigned over $1.6 million nondisclosure deal for Playboy model he got pregnant, got to wonder, what other biglier deals did Michael Cohen arrange for Trump?

For a man who hates pets Trump sure wagged a really big dog.

I really miss when Friday nights were a relaxing time and a slow news cycle.

If Trump bombs Syria to distract from the Cohen Prague story what is he going to do when someone finally releases the pee tape?

Brian Williams accidentally refers to Trump as Obama in discussing Syria bombing. Standby for Fox News citing this as proof to blame everything on Obama.

At what point does Putin think “Damn we should have just let Hillary win?'”

 

So let this be a lesson to other countries. You can use chemical weapons on your citizens if you want, but don’t do it when US President is worried about impeachment. #Syria

Good and bad seeds

April 12, 2018

If anyone wanted their children to really work on serious math skills they could have just had them work to figure out potential playoff seedings before tonight’s NBA final regular season, or should I say, preseason, games.

If the Warriors win it all will they be first NBA champions to have lost their final regular season game by 40 points.

 

Last time Timberwolves were in NBA playoffs, fans couldn’t even take to social media to celebrate. (Facebook just started Feb 2004, opened to non-students in 2006. Twitter started in 2006)

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NBA announcers feeling the need to talk about four point lead in the last seconds being a two possession game reminds me again just how bad Americans’ math skills are….

LB Aldon Smith had a blood alcohol content of 0.40 last week when he showed up to be fitted last week for an alcohol-detecting ankle monitor….. Clearly the man needs help but one, just how much do you have to drink to hit. 0.40. And two, how was he even walking?

Yeah, I love Gregg Popovich. Before Spurs game for playoff seeding tonight against the Pelicans:
From ESPN – Asked by a reporter if he had read about Andre Ingram’s story: “I don’t read too much about sports. I didn’t read it. I have no idea of what you’re talking about. I did read Maureen Dowd today though. It was very interesting. Are saving animals more important than saving people? Like gorillas, elephants, white rhinos. You know, the last white rhino died in Kenya. So it’s over. It’s probably even more important than this game.”

Happy #NationalPetDay. Worth a reminder that @realDonaldTrump is first President in modern memory without a pet. Because he has enough GOP lapdogs & no cat would put up with him?

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“I loved something I made up… I made a pretty suit of clothes and fell in love with it.” Much of the media on our departing Speaker?. Nope, Scarlett O’Hara on Ashley Wilkes. #PaulRyan #prescient
So is there a single person whose reputation has been enhanced by being associated with Trump. Except maybe Alec Baldwin?

Paul Ryan says he’s retiring to focus on his family. Well, after tax cuts and since he’s worth over $6 million BEFORE he takes lobbying jobs guess Ryan wants to teach kids how to manage their trust-funds?

As we watch all these rats fleeing a sinking ship, useful to remember that 62% of first class passengers survived the Titanic, only 25% of those in steerage.  #PaulRyan

 

Ok, I get that good people can disagree on issues. But Trump judicial nominee Wendy Vitter just refused to say if she agreed w/ Brown v. Board of Education.#WTF? Many “fine” people….

If there are any rational Republicans left trying to be the voice of reason that Trump will listen to perhaps they could quickly get a gig on “Fox and Friends?”

Where’s your sign?

April 12, 2018

Did rookie Tyler Beede in his first start not get the SF Giants memo? – “Don’t pitch to Goldschmidt.”

 

Maybe  SFGiants put up a big sign next to the warm-up pitching mound? “WHEN IT MATTERS, NEVER PITCH TO GOLDSCHMIDT. EVER.”

They could create a really tough SAT math question on trying to figure out potential NBA playoff seedings with ONE game left in the regular season.

 

 

Trump today honored Alabama national champions college football team.  Donaldhad attended game but  after he left at halftime Crimson Tide came back from 13-0 deficit. Who said @POTUS never accomplished anything

EPA apparently can’t come up with any ACTUAL death threats against Scott Pruitt. But you know, grizzly bears….

Air Canada has now announced FIVE different fare types for flights within North America, ranging from non-changeable with no seat assignments to fully flexible. And of course all passengers will carefully read the differences so there will be no problems at the airport.

Damn, I missed Tom Bossert in Trump resignation bingo.

I think almost worse than impeachment for @RealDonaldTrump will if be Robert Mueller is named ‘Time Man of the Year.”

How much would we love to see President “Witch Hunt” asked if he could describe what actually happened in Salem?

What do you expect as far as technological knowledge when one of supposedly smartest senators can’t even look at porn online without getting caught? #TedCruz #Zuckerberg

 

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Rand Paul says FBI raid on Michael Cohen office was “a great overstep” in Mueller investigation. Uh, doesn’t he want to see what they found before he says th

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Rod Rosenstein is a Republican. Rod Rosenstein is a Republican. Rod Rosenstein is a Republican. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Apparently @realDonaldTrump is unclear on the subject of breaking into an office. FBI used a search warrent. Watergate was a break-in.

Rand Paul says FBI raid on Michael Cohen office was “a great overstep” in Mueller investigation. Uh, doesn’t he want to see what they found before he says that?

 

From TC on  Lindsey Buckingham parting ways with Fleetwood Mac. “They told him He Could Go His Own Way!

Cold as ice.

April 10, 2018

Cubs home opener snowed out. Only thing colder are SF Giants’ bats.

 

Six of the nine games SFGiants have played they have scored 1 or 0 runs. Clearly they miss Madbum at the plate.

 

Not only do the Giants need to start hitting to stay competitive in the National League’s Western division, they also need to make some effort to claim at their Giants Dugout store that they are selling “game-used bats.”

That moment when you have to outscore the Sacramento Kings by 19 in 4th quarter at home to clinch playoff spot. On brighter note Pop might be so frustrated he decides to run for President?

Packers WR Trevor Davis was arrested when he checked in at LAX & in response to usual questions, asked his companion if “she remembered to pack the explosives.” You almost hope he’s had a concussion. #cantfixstupid

 

GB wide receiver Trevor Brown, arrested for joking about having a bomb at LAX, is a Cal grad. And they wonder why Stanford makes Weenie jokes?

Meanwhile, Lindsey Buckingham has parted ways with Fleetwood Mac. Having a 1980’s flashback.

 

Imagine all you idealistic young law students, you too can grow up to spend $130,000 of your own money on a porn star who accuses your client, and then have your office raided by FBI….

So maybe FBI was raiding Michael Cohen’s office looking for the covfefe?

Trump may be learning the hard way – don’t f*ck with a professional who screws other people for a living. #StormyDaniels

Trump “Many people have said ‘you should fire’ Mueller.” Translation of “Many people” – “Putin plus all the voices in his head.”

If Trump does fire Mueller who will be the first GOP member of Congress to call for “thoughts and prayers?

If a man died & 6 NYFD firefighters were injured at a Clinton owned building, GOP would be saying it was as bad as Chappaquddick.

Meanwhile Trump will bomb Syria to smithereens before he does something drastic like allow some Syrian refugees into USA.

 

 

Is there ANY Republican not retiring who is willing to say firing Mueller is a Red Line? Or is it really $$$$ over all? Asking for a country.

 

Once again, if Mueller is on a Witch Hunt and there is nothing in Cohen’s records that implicates Trump then POTUS should be thrilled for opportunity for vindication…

It’s not easy being pink and green either.

April 8, 2018

Watching The Masters have to ask – has a ball ever listened when spectators scream “Get in the hole?”

 

As some wonder how Americans could have possibly voted Donald Trump into office, useful to remember, last Monday Tiger Woods was betting line favorite to win The Masters.

All Nike golfers had to wear pink today. So has Patrick Reed made pink the new red?

Apparently fans were rooting today for Jordan Spieth and Rory McIlroy over Reed. Now, while I’m not a big golf fan, have read that Patrick had has some potential character issues in the past.  Fair enough. But have to wonder, seriously, how those fans would have reacted if he looked more like someone who belonged at a fancy country club.

And didn’t everyone have the New York Mets as the last 1 loss team in the NL?

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Will Clark’s legendary home run to centerfield in his first AB against Nolan Ryan was 32 years ago today. Now I feel old. #Yougottalikethesekids
From LA Times “The exhibition season ended with a sewage spill at Dodger Stadium. The actual baseball hasn’t looked much better…” SF Giants fans after a 98 loss season feel your pain. Well, maybe.

In Oklahoma a 13 year-old decided to take a joy-ride in his father’s pickup.  Dad saw the truck being driven. didn’t recognize him and fatally shot the kid.  If only the boy were armed….  #Murica

In Orlando, reports of gunshots at the Florida Mall turned out to be fireworks.   No injuries reported.  But imagine if all the other shoppers had been armed.

Van driver in Muenster reportedly a German citizen with psychological problems. Translation, he was white.

As a real-estate developer, @realDonaldTrump lobbied against sprinklers in residential buildings. Right, more of those regulations that kill… jobs?

Now @realDonaldTrump is tweeting about how awful things are for people in Syria & blaming Obama. Yeah & what about that awful a**hole who banned even refugees from Syria from entering US?

“Animal Assad?” Well, maybe @realDonaldTrump is hoping if “animal” nickname sticks to the Syrian leader, one of his sons will shoot him?

It’s not easy being green, in a jacket

April 7, 2018

And didn’t we all have Patrick Reed leading #theMasters

But hey, good news for CBS and ESPN, Tiger Woods is still playing. For those who get up early on Sunday morning.

 

Yeah Andrew McCutchen can stay. Welcome to  SF Giants  history.  #BeatLA

So is the Warriors strategy to save ALL their remaining wins this year for NBA playoffs?

Phillies 20, Marlins 1. Maybe to really speed up some games MLB doesn’t need a pitch clock, it needs a mercy rule.

Terrible tragedy in Canada with at least 14 dead in junior hockey team bus crash. Absolute crickets from Trump for hours.  Finally a tweet saying he had called Justin Trudeau.    (Did someone from Fox call Trump to tell him to do it?)

Millions of us in US apologize for our President

Sad that a man has died in Trump Tower fire. But I can’t be the only one who immediately thinks “Did he piss off any Russians lately?”

While the thought of pissing off Russians isn’t REALLY a joke. It’s probably wrong to joke about a man dying in Trump Tower. But neither should @POTUS be bragging about his “well-built building” – with no sprinklers.

So do all Trump buildings not have sprinklers in them? Asking for a number of suddenly worried residents & hotel guest.

Spare me any outrage about jokes over Trump Tower fire, please. When Hillary & Bill Clinton’s house caught fire “Some political pundits took to Twitter to joke that the fire must have erupted because the Clintons were burning books or destroying evidence of wrongdoing.

If this keeps up, Scott Pruitt will indeed be fired, not for corruption, but because he is taking headlines away from @realDonaldTrump

Trump talks about death threats to Scott Pruitt. Uh, liberals in general don’t advocate killing their political enemies. He must have been thinking of Ted Nugent.

Awful that someone drove into a crowd in Muenster.   Motive unknown.  But we already know why – if he was white he was mentally ill. If Muslim, he was a terrorist.

Puerto Rico, still not recovered from hurricane, is part of USA. Which means illegal immigrants who make it to the island can fly to US mainland w/o border security. Maybe if we spread this around enough it will scare Trump into sending troops there.