Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Amateur hour

November 26, 2016

 

Notre Dame ended season 4-8, and got cited for academic misconduct, so coach Brian Kelly’s job might be in jeopardy.
Hmm, could be a perfect fit for Jed York and SF 49ers. #winningwithclass

Louisville lost to Kentucky,  and dealt a serious blow to Lamar Jackson’s Heisman hopes.  The last time a Heisman candidate lost to Kentucky, it was Charlie Ward  while playing basketball for FSU.  (march, 1993)

That moment when as much as you hate #OhioState, you kind of don’t want #TylerDurbin to miss since it would mess him up for life. #MICHvsOSU

 

Okay, moment has passed.   How do you claim a playoff spot when you can’t win your conference?

No California team in the Pac 12 championship this year. Who knew the only really decent team in the state might turn out to be the Raiders?

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The #SFGiants are reportedly talking to the #RedSox about trading for Pablo Sandoval. So how do you unburn Panda hats & bridges?

So @realDonaldTrump tweeted out at 6:08am “Fidel Castro is dead.” Not at 3:00am. See, now that he’s  been elected, Trump already slacking off

 

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau, had a tempered response to Castro’s death, calling him “controversial.” Ted Cruz angrily responded “Why do young socialists idolize totalitarian tyrants?”
And Trump is thinking “Ted’s saying “totalitarian tyrants like it’s a bad thing.”

Would have been interesting to see if #Trump would have met w/ #FidelCastro. Maybe not a communism fan but so “how’d you become a dictator?”

So which of your family members would YOU date if you weren’t related to them? #BadTopicsForHolidayParties

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Trump called the recount effort “a scam.” Wait a minute, wasn’t he the one who was worried about the election being rigged?

NY Daily News headlne “Cops bust emotionally disturbed man who entered Trump Tower, claimed President-elect called him.”
“Time to go home now Mr. Giuliani.”

Too soon

November 25, 2016

So first today we lost Florence Henderson and now Fidel Castro?   Guess even Communist dictators have a hard time imagining life without Carol Brady.

The story of a lovely lady…. R.I.P Florence Henderson. There goes another piece of our childhoods.

 

Or maybe Castro couldn’t face the thought of Trump being the U.S. President who might attend his funeral?

 

Convenient of #FidelCastro to have died after Obama lifted some restrictions: Americans can now legally toast his memory with Cuban rum.

 

So yesterday Colin Kaepernick praised Fidel Castro and today the Cuban leader is dead. You mean that’s all it took

That moment when you realize #DakPrescott is interfering with your lifelong hatred of the #DallasCowboys

Instead of Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown” CNN in Boston last night apparently aired 30 minutes of porn. In related news, a record number of men asked their wives on what channel they could find the Food Network.

 

 

How American: a day of giving thanks for all we have, then a day to go out & buy a lot more stuff. #thanksgiving #blackfriday

What’s wrong with this headline? “Ageless actress Christina Applegate turns 45 years old.” Yeah, she’s positively ancient. #sarcasm

Robin Van Ert, who had an extramarital affair with Bo Ryan, when he was men’s basketball coach at Wisconsin, and then wrote the university that Ryan had misused funds during the affair, has filed a federal lawsuit.. She claims among other things that because Wisconsin released her name she has suffered “severe emotional and physical distress and illness, loss of privacy, harm to her reputation, loss of business and has incurred substantial damages and legal fees.”
RIght, so now with this lawsuit millions of people who have either forgotten or never heard about Van Ert and the affair in the first place, will now really remember her name.

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That moment when you realize that with alternative being #RudyGiuliani that #MittRomney doesn’t seem so bad as a possible Secretary of State

 

Trump having hard time getting entertainers for inaugural. But hey, no problem #TedNugent & replays of #theApprentice. It will be HUGE.

 

So in 2017 expect @realDonaldTrump declare day after Thanksgiving to be “Orange Friday. And it will be HUGE, the best shopping day ever….

 

Okay whatever you think about our two major party candidates this Presidential election, this fact remains: All the hacking, all the released emails, all the fake news, whether it was done by a foreign government or just mostly foreign rogue hackers, was ALL in support of a single candidate. And that in and of itself should be very scary.

Holidaze

November 24, 2016

 

Happy Thanksgiving. Thankful to have so many wonderful friends and readers.  Even and especially if we disagree on some things – from trivial stuff like politics to important stuff like baseball.

But hey, aren’t we all a little nuts?

nuts

 

The pilgrims were a hardy lot. No football games or the prospect of Black Friday sales to keep them from falling into post Thanksgiving food comas.

If all of these companies were REALLY thankful for us on Thanksgiving they would take a one-day break from sending us junk email.

Next year will @realDonaldTrump order stores to close on #Thanksgiving so we can spend time w/ families and order gifts from his website?

New Yorkers are particularly thankful that Trump decided to spend #Thanksgiving in Florida. Thereby not making traffic any worse today.

 

“Whatever anyone says, I didn’t kiss Mommy. She wouldn’t have been my 1st choice. Nasty woman.” Santa Claus #TrumpaChristmasCarol

 

Apparently some folks were upset that Aretha Franklin sang a five-minute version of the national anthem in Detroit. Now, before the Super Bowl maybe, but really, who was in a hurry for a Vikings-Lions game to start?

Amateur hour.

November 23, 2016

 

The SF 49ers, embroiled in a financial battle over stadium management with Santa Clara, have now slammed the city’s “‘disturbing trend of frivolous actions”
Uh, doesn’t “disturbing trend of frivolous actions” basically sum up the 49ers’ recent coaching decisions and draft picks?

 

 

Jill Stein is raising money for a recount in MI, WI & PA. Of course if Stein had really cared about the election she could have just not run.

 

RIP #Ralphbranca. So somewhere in heaven is #BobbyThomson smiling while he takes batting practice? #Dodgers #Giants

 

San Antonio @Spurs won again by 5, tonight against Hornets. Will #Popovich just send out a video of last night’s rant and say “ditto?”

Wendell Carter, a power forward considered the top uncommitted recruit for 2017, says he is going to Duke. These are tough decisions for these young men, deciding where to spend several months of their lives.

At this point aren’t all the warnings about the Samsung One Note 7 smart phones just a suggestion for potential terrorists on how to catch a plane on fire?

Trump has decided “the law’s totally on my side, the president can’t have a conflict of interest.” So while the Donald accused Hillary Clinton of “pay-to-play” with her foundation, he’s going to take care of things by getting richer and richer while IN the White House.

In California, as of today an estimated 1,797,333 unprocessed ballots remained in California from the Nov. 8 election. Wow. If only we had some creative high-tech talent in the state to work on a faster solution.

Carnival pulling the plug on their new “Fathom” volunteer-work oriented cruise line, which was designed for an “under-served market of consumers who want to have a positive impact on people’s lives”
Turns out the positive impact most cruise passengers really want on vacation is more about tipping waiters who bring them beer and umbrella drinks

Well, to be fair #BenCarson is probably as qualified to be Secretary of HUD as Donald Trump is to be President of the United States.

In March, Donald Trump tweeted “The people of South Carolina are embarrassed by Nikki Haley!” Today he appointed Haley Ambassador to the UN. Does this mean the Donald has changed his mind. Or is he showing us what he thinks of the UN?

#BetsyDeVos for Education secretary. Guess it makes #Trump sense, put someone in charge who doesn’t believe in public schools….

The NEA teacher’s union estimates that 1/3 of their members voted for Trump. And now the Donald has put a voucher advocate who hates public schools as head of the Dept. of Education.
Mean bitch karma is clearly bipartisan.

Over the line.

November 23, 2016

Because of academic misconduct, the NCAA ruled Notre Dame now must vacate wins from their 2012 and 2013 football seasons. So can they also finally give Stanford’s Stepfan Taylor that touchdown?

(for non-Stanford fans, in 2012 the Fighting Irish were unbeaten, and the Cardinal, down 7 late in the game in 2012, was near the goal line, about to get either a game-tying TD – or with a 2-point conversion even a winning TD.   Taylor twice was ruled not to have run the bal into the end zone, although replays indicated he did at least once. The Notre Dame refs did not agree.)

 

A now viral video shows Dallas QB Dak Prescott throwing a Gatorade cup away, missing the trash can, and then going to pick it up to put it in the can. Jeez, what kind of a Cowboy is Prescott if he couldn’t even get arrested for littering.

So #Cubs win #WorldSeries, #Trump wins #WhiteHouse and now #Raiders are getting favorable calls from refs. Truly signs of the apocalypse

 

Detroit LB DeAndre Levy said his proudest moment in college was when he accidentally ran into Joe Paterno and broke his leg. Some former Penn State players responded “We find the recent statement by DeAndre Levy about Coach Paterno appalling, along with the silence that has accompanied it.”
Uh, is it really a good idea to complain in the same sentence about silence and Paterno?

Coach Gregg Popovich, after San Antonio held off the Mavs tonight 96-91. “That was a pathetic performance on the part of the Spurs. You know, they (Dallas) had some guys out, we had some guys out, but they had a lot more out than we did. I thought we showed a lack of humility, a lack of respect for the opponent, a very pathetic performance at both ends of the court, both in execution and in grunt, in fiber, in desire. It was an awful performance. Oh, and they deserved to win the basketball game, I forgot to say that.”
#Popovich2020

 

#SNL producer Lorne Michaels received a Medal of Honor from @BarackObama. Wonder if Trump will issue executive order overturning the medal.

Tuesday was the 53rd anniversary of #JFK‘s assassination. So wonder if for gesture of GOP unity if @realDonaldTrump will pardon Ted Cruz’s father?

So now that the Trump Foundation has admitted to using money illegally will Trump  pardon himself?

In a meeting with NY Times reporters today, Trump apparently conceded Tuesday there is “some connectivity” between human activity and climate change and said he would keep an “open mind” to international climate agreements.
Now, to my mind this latest is not a bad thing…. but at some point will the President-Elect give us a list of what statements he made during the campaign he actually believes?

A new Quinnipiac University poll found that only 35% of voters think Trump should keep his personal Twitter account, while 59% of said Donald Trump he should shut it down. Rather amazing stats considering that a significant fraction of that 35% must be comedy writers.

Worst and worstest?

November 21, 2016

The NFL played a game tonight in Mexico City. And Mexico is thinking “Wait, Trump is accusing US of sending criminals across the border?”

 

SF 49ers coach Chip Kelly, asked if he received any assurance from Jed York on his job next year. “No, we haven’t had any conversations about that at all. About anybody’s job security.”
Of course, in Kelly’s favor, who else might want to take on this mess?

U.S. Soccer just fired national team manager Jurgen Klinsmann. So congrats to all those who had Nov. 21 in the pool.

The Washington Redskins keep on winning. I blame Obama.

But is it just me or does the @NFL have a LOT of lousy football teams?

 

At Chicago’s O’Hare airport, hundreds of workers have announced a strike for Nov 29. They are waiting until Tuesday theoretically to miss the holiday weekend.
But okay, two days after Thanksgiving weekend? Should be lots of people still stuck at O’Hare.

LB Jerrell Freeman today became the second Chicago player suspended in a week for violating the NFL’s policy on PEDs.
The Bears are 2-8. Maybe this should be a warning to others, not only will PEDs get you suspended, they apparently don’t work.

 

Though easy material keeps on coming, I was really looking forward to tough task post-election of writing pantsuits jokes.

Imagine if Michelle Obama decided to stay in Chicago not to move girls from school in 2009. Would have been uproar on wasting taxpayer $$$.

So just guessing Green Day is not performing at Trump’s inaugural.

Mark the date, November 20, 2016.  Donald Trump tweeted  “I have always had a good relationship with Chuck Schumer. He is far smarter than Harry R and has the ability to get things done. Good news!”

So shall we start a pool on the date Trump decides Schumer is an idiot and/or crooked?

If Donald Trump really wants to keep illegal immigrants from getting jobs he doesn’t need a wall; just make it felony resulting in jail-time to hire them.

From Bill Littlejohn:  ““President Obama inviting the Chicago Cubs to the White House before he leaves office reminds one of a similar situation the last time the Cubs won the World Series, Pharaoh invited the Cubs for a visit just before the Ten Plagues of Egypt.”

Well they got the 9 part right this week.

November 20, 2016

Losses.

 

When they do the post-mortem on this 49ers season, it may be that the biggest mistake the #SF49ers made this year was beating the #Rams & losing that #1 pick

Anyone but me think the NFL is now the  “almost No Fun teams to watch League”?

 

Ohio State remains #2 this week because Michigan State tried and missed a two-point conversion?    Yeah, these rankings make sense.

From the NY Times: For all those dismissing the left coast and our popular vote – in September 42% of new US jobs were created in California.

 

So if @realDonaldTrump’s win was a victory for forgotten working class in this country, who’s filling those inaugural hotel rooms in DC at 1,000 a night?

 

While Donald Trump keeps up the angry tweets, Mike Pence said he “wasn’t offended” by the remarks from the cast of Hamilton. and the boos were “what freedom sounds like.” So is Pence trying to reassure the country he’ll be a fine President when Trump resigns or gets impeached?

 

Just an aside on the whole Hamilton thing, while post-performance speeches are not an every play occurrence, I’ve been to plenty of plays where there’s a charity request afterwards, and more than one where actors have talked specifically and passionately about AIDS. But maybe Trump has never actually gone to a Broadway or London show before?

 

Reports are that Trump doesn’t want to give up his Android phone when he becomes President because he uses it so frequently, including for his Twitter account.
So wonder if he’ll direct his staff to set up a private email server.