Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

He’s had Better days

August 14, 2019

Apparently SF 49ers Jimmy Garoppolo threw interceptions on five straight pass attempts at practice today. Who does he think he is, an aging Brett Favre?

Lots of talk about Yankees dominating Orioles with 16 straight wins and 17-2 season record. Little mention of 1993, when Braves beat Rockies in all 13 games they played. Had Colorado won ONE game, the Giants, with 103 wins would have at least made it into a one-game playoff for the Division.
But no, I’m not still bitter.

Ah analytics. Apparently Giants’  Tyler Beede as of today was tied with Orioles’ David Hess “for the highest average exit velocity allowed (91.2 mph) among Major League starters with a minimum of 200 balls in play.”
Uh, Beede’s ERA over last 5 games is 8.49. Don’t need analytics to say, he’s getting hit hard.

ESPN talking about how only Dodgers, Yankees and Astros – the “super teams” have a chance to win it all this year.
Reminds me of 2003, when NL had two “super teams,” Braves (101 wins) and SF Giants (100 wins.) The only question was which of them would make the World Series.

(Answer, Florida Marlins.)

Anyone but me had no idea who Todd and Julie Chrisley are, and have no real interest in finding out?

 

Philadelphia shooting suspect is apparently an American citizen who isn’t Muslim. So standby for GOP to give lip service to “mental illness” for about two minutes.

 

Amy Klobuchar tweeting “I’ll say it again: The Senate needs to get back to work. We could pass universal background check legislation that 97% of Americans support. Bring it up for a vote. Now.”
So if McConnell wants to hide in Kentucky, how about Dems calling to see if they can get a Senate quorum and just vote without him? At least some in GOP should be brave enough to vote.

Can anyone imagine what GOP would be saying if Obama stayed on vacation golfing while the stock market tanked?

Steve King “What if we went back through all the family trees and just pulled out anyone who was a product of rape or incest? Would there be any population of the world left if we did that?”

And the state that elected King to Congress gets an outsized role in choosing our Presidential nominees?  #NotTheOnion

Trump finally tweeting about Hong Kong “I have ZERO doubt that if President Xi wants to quickly and humanely solve the Hong Kong problem, he can do it. Personal meeting?”
Personal meeting, why? Does Trump want to mint more beautiful commemorative coins?

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Put a bloody sock in it?

August 14, 2019

 

Curt Schilling, whose failed video game company bankrupted him and cost Vermont taxpayers almost $30 million, may run for Congress in Arizona. And Trump thinks it’s “terrific.”
Well of course Donald does. Grifters of a feather.

Actually, considering Curt Schilling’s record with a failed huge business fail costing taxpayers almost $30 million, why hasn’t Trump offered him a Cabinet position?

Tiger Woods, dealing with an oblique strain, says he’ll “give it a go” for this weekend’s BMW Championship.
Guess he’s decided the strain can’t get worse with just two days of golf.

SF 49ers assistant coach Katie Sowers now says she was told in 2017 by one unnamed NFL executive during an interview that his team wasn’t ready to hire a female coach.
For comparison, the Spurs hired Becky Hammon in 2014.

MLS Atlanta United manager Frank de Boer says he does not believe in equal pay for men and women in football, or sports such as tennis, because women don’t bring in as much revenue.
All together now, the Atlanta who?

Energy Secretary Rick Perry says Democrats are living in a “fantasy world” when it comes to their climate change rhetoric. So Perry is now an expert on fantasy worlds because of his stint on “Dancing with the Stars?

Trump on windmills in speech on energy: “All of a sudden it stops, the wind and the televisions go off, and your wives and husbands say, ‘Darling, I want to watch Donald Trump on television tonight, but the wind stopped blowing.”

No wonder Alec Baldwin wanted to stop playing Trump on SNL. The satire can’t keep up with reality.

I’m confused, not a Godfather fan, but I guess Fredo is supposed to be the stupid brother. So is it Don Jr or Eric?

Now NY Times reports both of Epstein’s guards on the night he died fell asleep, slept through their required checks AND falsified records.  So how long until they get offered jobs at Mar-A-Lago?

Lost in Epstein craziness is fact that everyone concedes guards, one a substitute, were working crazy amounts of overtime. This due to Trump hiring freeze. So instead of prison being staffed properly taxpayers probably paying MORE $$$ in overtime than in salaries. #Winning

Finally, what a f*ckwad. Ken Cuccinelli “Give me your tired and your poor who can stand on their own two feet and who will not become a public charge.”
You know who wasn’t a public charge? Those immigrant workers rounded up by ICE in Mississippi.
You know who will become a public charge? Their US citizen CHILDREN

 

Being Puigy?

August 12, 2019

Yasiel Puig has dropped his appeal and will begin serving his three-game suspension for brawling in his last game as a Cincinnati Red next Monday night .  His new team, the Indians that night will open a three-game series against Boston.

How far have the World Series champions fallen that a player figures that’s the game his team will least miss him?

Marc Ragovin says “How dead are the Red Sox?  Their team security is being handled by the NY Bureau of Prisons.”

Another good reason the SF Giants didn’t trade closer Will Smith. Imagine the waste of his bat if he went to an AL team.

Headline in NY Daily News today “The Yankees absolutely own the Orioles.”
Uh, Baltimore is 39-79. MOST teams absolutely own the Orioles.

Washington Nationals have 7-2 lead going to the 8th against Reds, hang on to win 7-6 with tying run at 2nd with 1 out in the 9th.
So all Nats need to win it all is Max Scherzer having a Mickey Lolich/Madison Bumgarner type World Series.

A-Rod’s rental car was broken into near Oracle Park last night with estimated $500,000 in electronics & jewelry stolen.
Now, burglaries shouldn’t happen to anyone…. but who leaves half a million worth of stuff in a rental car? #cantfixstupid

 

Pretty sure “Jenny from the Bronx” is telling A-Rod, “Honey, I love you but WTF are you doing leaving valuables in your car on the street?”

 

Now I’m getting FB messages from Tom Steyer “Still hoping to see Tom on stage for the 3rd debate?”
Uh, just say no.

Now Trump is retweeting Joe Biden’s gaffes. I just spit my covfefe.

Trump tweeting today about his “great and loyal friends” Diamond and Silk.
Right, until one of them slips and says something mildly critical of him, or gets arrested, and then he will claim he hardly knows him.

Trump’s new Public Charge rule penalizes legal immigrants who use any government benefits, including for their children. Uh, how about the immigrant who with her son is in public housing on Pennsylvania Avenue.

 

“Public Charge” can include medical care for your kid. So Trump is saying someone who has had a sick child could be denied a green card for having accepted Medicaid. Once again, pro-life my ass.

Biggest baseball smile of the year?

August 11, 2019

Giants closer Will Smith  in 8 major league seasons had never had an at-bat.  He had one today with his team leading 7-6 in the 8th, and hit a 2 run single.

So maybe Madison Bumgarner is just just a role model for pitchers on the mound.  But good thing SF Giants held onto him and Will Smith.  They needed their bats.

So of all the crazy things this baseball season, how did the SF Giants not manage to win at least 1 of 3 games where they faced the Washington Nationals bullpen?

Astros behind Justin Verlander today in Baltimore were one of biggest betting road favorite against the Orioles today in baseball history.

Bringing to mind one of my favorite jokes “If God bet on baseball how would he do?

“7 or 8 of 10. Baseballs take funny bounces.”

Weird sports stat for the day: Going into today’s game against each other, the Royals (42-76) and Tigers (35-79) had won fewer games between them than the Dodgers (78-41)

The Arizona Cardinals released DT Darius Philon after he was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, allegedly for threatening to shoot a dancer outside a strip club in May.
Wonder if this will or won’t be the end of Philon’s career, it’s not like he knelt for the anthem.

Florida sophomore DB John Huggins has been dismissed from football program. While a reason wasn’t given, last fall Huggins allegedly put his hands around a tutor’s neck. He’s the fifth Gator to have been reported for violence against a woman under second-year coach Mullen.
Are we sure Urban Meyer isn’t somehow involved?

 

Marianne Williamson claiming “there’s some very powerful forces that want to make sure I’m not in that third debate.” “Very powerful forces?” They’re called “voters.”

We are now in a world where the President of the United States talks about trusting a murderous North Korean dictator while retweeting a tweet accusing a former President of the United States of murder.

Democrats are condemning Trump for re-tweeting a no-evidence conspiracy theory linking Jeffrey Epstein’s death to Bill Clinton.
Why aren’t Republicans joining them?

It’s been revealed there is no surveillance video of the moment Epstein hanged himself. “I’m shocked,” said nobody.

 

11p on Saturday night and the “Leader of the free world” was going after Anthony Scaramucci. Gosh, why doesn’t Trump go after the idiot who hired Scaramucci in the first place?

On a weekend Trump attacks Donny Deutsch, Joe Scarborough and Bill Maher on Twitter all in 24 hours. But no, Donald doesn’t watch much TV….

 

So where are the pictures of the crying children in Mississippi because their parents were thrown in jail for hiring undocumented workers. Oh wait, never mind.

Smallish mercies

August 10, 2019

Only good thing about Bryce Harper hitting two home runs to win game for Phillies Friday night.  Maybe he’ll regret not signing to play home games at Oracle Park.

Damn, okay let it be known for ONCE I actually agree with Trump – On Kaepernick today – “I know so many of the owners. If he’s good enough, I know these people. They would sign him in a heartbeat. They will do anything they can to win games.”

Heck, NFL owners would sign OJ Simpson if he were back in his prime.

 

Kid Rock is the Rick Santorum of music.

 

DOT yesterday told airlines and passengers they will start enforcing rules governing animals that people bring on planes and that airline employees can bar any animal they consider a safety threat.
Now, I hate people abusing the idea “emotional support” animals as much as anyone. But as far as priorities, let’s see, how many Americans have been killed by unruly pets on planes?

Trump now threatening countries that issue travel warnings on the United States because of gun violence.
“If they did that, we’d just reciprocate. We are a very reciprocal nation with me as the head. When somebody does something negative to us in terms of a country, we do it to them.”
So now the warnings will say – “Don’t travel to the US, there’s a threat of gun violence and their leadership is unstable.”

THEWEEK.COM  “Trump’s aides reportedly expect his August vacation will center around “golf, cable news and Twitter.”
Some headlines don’t even need a punchline.

 

 

CNN reports that the White House has told ICE officials to conduct dozens more workplace enforcement operations this year. Can they start at Trump resorts?

Trump said this week’s ICE raids in Mississippi were “a very good deterrent.”
So how exactly how many American citizens have been arrested for knowingly hiring immigrants?

Melania tweets that El Paso community is “strong and unbreakable,” on the same day her husband proudly breaks up families in Mississippi.

This is one time no one is going to say RIP. #Epstein

 

A very important prisoner with dirt on some very important people committing suicide in prison is one of those plot twists we used to complain about as unrealistic on “24.”

 

White House hasn’t had a press briefing since March 11. Rush Limbaugh says Trump stopped the briefings to stop “egomaniacs showing off.”
Right, because that’s Trump’s job.

The game’s the thing

August 8, 2019

Some days I think I care too much about sports, then I watch into an airport bar where people are actually getting UPSET about a preseason football game.

Okay, yeah SF season has fallen apart in August. But I am still really really glad Madison Bumgarner is in a Giants uniform.
(and yes, I hope they resign him.)

 

A temporary 8,000-seat ballpark will be built at the Field of Dreams site in Iowa for the Yankees and White Sox to play an actual MLB game next August.
Well, they’ve got it half-right, shouldn’t it be the Reds – White Sox?

(those were the two teams in the Black Sox scandal world series.)

Although if MLB wanted teams to feel at home in front of 8,000 they should have chosen the Rays and Marlins.

 

Cowboys DE Robert Quinn has been suspended for first two games of season for violating NFL’s PED policy.
Taxi squad players for example earn about $7,600 a week. CFL players make about $50,00 for the year. Quinn signed a contract with Dallas for $8 million this year.
And now a two whole game suspension. That’ll deter players who worry about being cut from trying.

Clemson coach Dabo Swinney won’t give QB Kelly Bryant, who left the team after 4 games last year, a Championship ring.
While I see his point, Dan Uggla has a 2014 WS SF Giants ring.

Another from Marc Ragovin  “Rosie Ruiz has died. Most people take a stairway to heaven but old Rosie will probably jump onto an escalator 3/4 of the way there.”

Donnie Jr is sending out a Trump fundraising email attacking Joaquin Castro for posting the name of Trump donors.
Hmm, for some reason he doesn’t mention, if you donate, your name too will become part of PUBLIC RECORD.

If Trump loves El Paso so much, why doesn’t he pay the city for the $500,000 he still owes for the rally he loves to brag about so much.

 


Again, after Mississippi raids….  if Trump wanted to make a point about immigrants, wages and jobs, all he would have to do is offer very high wages at say, Mar-A-Lago, fill the jobs with Americans, and then say, see, we don’t need immigrant workers.

But that would require, a, sacrificing a little bit of profit to make a point, and b, finding Americans who actually want to do those jobs.

Trump now feuding with Jerome Powell, current Chair of the Federal Reserve.  Now, by law a President can’t fire the Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board.  Maybe Donald should fire the idiot who nominated him?

 

Most of what I post is snark. This isn’t.  Worth a few minutes, and have tissues handy.

Jackson Proskow: Dallas airport passengers silently salute the return of a fallen hero

Cold truth?

August 7, 2019

Raiders WR Antonio Brown has both feet injured and blistered, reportedly caused by going into a cryotherapy machine without proper footwear.
Well this ought to do wonders to dispel the “dumb jock” image.

All you need to know about SF Giants season:
Going into today,  Buster Posey had exactly as many home runs, 6, and RBIs, 33, as Geraldo Parra, who the Giants DFA’ed in May.

And now Parra has 7 home runs and 36 RBIs.

Sadly the Orioles’ Chris Davis came closer to hitting his manager than SF Giants came to getting a big hit against Nationals.

Although speaking of lousy baseball,  Marc Ragovin points out.  “The Boston Red Sox and the Pittsburgh Pirates played the first World Series in 1903. And I think they should square off again now, since both are setting back the sport over 100 years.”

Apparently some pundits are saying Clemson only won College Football National Championship because “Alabama was worn out from the grind of a more rigorous schedule.” Well, gosh, with Duke, New Mexico State and Western Carolina on 2019 schedule are the Crimson Tide planning to use that excuse again this year?

 

No press other than White House employees were allowed for Trump visits to hospitals in Dayton and El Paso. Maybe it’s just me but thinking if you are honestly proud of behavior you don’t hide it.

Anyone else notice that in all the pictures from Dayton,Trump is grinning like he’s attending a wedding at one of his resorts?

So did ICE raid plants in Mississippi because even Trump was too embarrassed today to raid them near El Paso?

Wonder with all the arrest pictures why we didn’t see pictures of the people who hired this immigrants in handcuffs.

As Trump leaves Dayton he tweets about his “warm & wonderful visit. Tremendous enthusiasm & even Love. “Then he goes after “failed Presidential Candidate (0%) Sherrod Brown….”
Uh Sherrod didn’t even run.
But I bet he polls better now in Ohio than you do.

 

Trump told police officers in El Paso the gunman is a “coward. He gave up, just gave up.” Then Donald talked about his February rally, which he hasn’t reimbursed the city for – “we could have sold it out four times.”
This is NOT a well man.