Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Missing it by that much?

November 13, 2017

Once again, looking like #49ers will come up just short in their quest for the #1 NFL draft pick.

A New Jersey bar owner said he boycotted NFL Veteran’s Day weekend over players kneeling during anthem. Either that or because @nyjets & @Giants both suck?

In NFC, Rams, Vikings and Saints all leading their divisions. Just like the preseason pundits predicted.

49ers fans thrilled about 1st week of season without a loss. And next week the team has pretty good chance against “Bye Week.”

There was a streaker on the field late in 4th quarter in Buffalo. He had a better running day than the Bills offense against the Saints.

Butch Jones, w/ 4-6 record this year, has been fired as head football coach at Tennessee. #Browns fans wonder, was he fired for over-achieving?

Just wondering, how drunk do you have to be to be thrown out of a bar in Las Vegas? #OJSimpson

 

Oh please oh please let someone ask Trump about Keurig? “Never met them, the allegations are false.”

 

If you #BoycottKeurig does that mean you spend more money at #Starbucks? Being conservative at times must be so confusing.

Thinking there’s going to be a real market for someone who can fix broken Keurigs when some angry conservatives calm down & miss their coffee.

Damn, with Trump supporters attacking #NFL and #Keurig what’s a liberal worried about CTE who doesn’t like pretentious coffee to do?

Lost w/ all attention given to @realDonaldTrump’s “short & fat” comment on Kim Jong-Un is other tweet complaining Hillary had “no chemistry” w/ Putin.

Authorities say 50 pounds of cocaine washed up on a central Florida beach. Talk about a high-tide.

Now Roy More defenders trying to discredit his 1st accuser by bringing up her divorces. Maybe “dating” him at 14 DID mess her up for life?

To me  his 1st accuser being divorced 3 times actually makes her more credible. Being sexual w/ a 32 yr old at 14 would screw a lot of women up.

 

Would #RoyMoore supporters be more likely to believe allegations if Moore were a customer of Hillary’s pedophile-run pizza parlor? #pizzagate #sarcasm

Do we really expect a man who said he’d date his daughter to condemn Roy Moore over pursuing teenage girls?

 

So Trump is insulting former CIA/FBI guys -, Clapper, Brennan, Comey and Mueller. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Not a “thoughts & prayers” kind of gal but maybe those who are could spare some “thought & prayers” after earthquake for people in Iraq and Iran.

Advertisements

Lonely at the top.

November 11, 2017

 

Wondering how many in Alabama would have been more upset if Crimson Tide lost than to find out they might be electing a sexual predator Senator.

I suppose it was too much to ask for that two undefeated SEC teams lose in on the same day? #Georgia #Bama

Well, at least this embarrassment for Georgia on the football field didn’t involve a 4th quarter collapse in the Super Bowl.

So is there still a chance Notre Dame and Georgia could meet in the  “Over-rated” Bowl?

I’m sure LSJUMB will take the high road over Fighting Irish blowout loss in Miami when Notre Dame plays Stanford in two weeks.

Did someone tell Michigan State players they had a bye week this week.  (Ohio State 48, MSU 3.)

Wonder why NFL TV ratings down? Only free option for those near NYC/SF Sunday afternoon not Cowboys-Falcons or Texans-Rams but Giants-49ers.

UCLA players accused of shoplifting, from as many as 3 different stores, remain at Hyatt in China. Gosh, hope this doesn’t interfere w/ their studies.

#Cardinals already w/o Carson Palmer, now QB Drew Stanton injured; they will reportedly sign Matt Barkley. Kaepernick remains on list just below chopped liver.

Alabama GOP position is that a 14-yr-old girl is adult enough to make her own choices about sex until she gets pregnant.

Across America some 14 yr-old girls are just trying to convince their parents they should be allowed to date 15-yr-old boys.

Some in GOP floating idea of delaying Alabama Senate special election. If this works will Trump try to delay 2020 election at least a few years?

Bromance between Trump and Putin continues. How long until Vlad is named an honorary co-host of Fox and Friends?
Trump on Putin’s being accused of election meddling -“I think he’s very insulted by it.” What’s Russian word for “snowflake.”

 

Trump complains about Kim Jong-Un calling him “old,” says he wouldn’t call Korean leader “short & fat.” Is this US President or Alec Baldwin on SNL cold open?

But hey, is that what POTUS meant by “progress not provocation?”

Tweet tweeted “Met with President Putin of Russia who was at #APECmeetings.” President Putin “of Russia.” Are there any Americans who don’t know who Vlad is?

Trump on his Asia trip – “Well a lot of people said it is almost physically impossible for someone to go through 12 days.” And we were worried about Hillary’s health?”

Rest of world going ahead with TPP and Paris Climate Accord. #MAIA – Make American Isolated Again.

Silver lining for GOP with Roy Moore: Nobody is tweeting about their proposed tax relief for millionaires.

After midnight.

November 11, 2017

What if you upset a top 10 team and no one was awake to see it.  #Stanford  #Washington

But yeah, that moment when #Stanford upsets top 10 #UW team & @ESPN doesn’t even mention it on their site. What East Coast bias?

Stanford football tickets have individual players’ pictures on them along with their majors. Just guessing that doesn’t happen in SEC. #nerdnation

Stanford frosh basketball star Kezie Okpala basketball will “sit out of competition” indefinitely due to low grade in his spring semester High School AP calculus course. At Kentucky they’re going “whats a calculus course?”‘

#RoyMoore in Oct on NFL players kneeling “It’s against the law, you know that. It was a act of Congress that every man stand and put their hand over their heart. That’s the law.” Sounds like Moore very unclear on legal use of hands.

 

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said his proposed lawsuit against NFL has nothing to do w/ Zeke suspension. Then he went off to work on his bridge sale in Brooklyn.

Maybe US women’s Gymnastics should look seriously into the possibility of using women doctors? #AlyRaisman

Got to love targeted Twitter advertising. Write a joke about UCLA players shoplifting Louis Vuitton sunglasses, get an ad for an LV purse.

Say one thing about Hollywood, when they now discover a sexual predator, they are more likely to dump him than compare him to father of Jesus. #RoyMoore

Here’s a hint. If you’re an adult man & you think you need to ask a girl’s mother for permission to date her, she’s too young. Period.

Ok all you 30-something men who want to date teenagers, just make sure their parents are Republicans.  Then it’ll be fine.

Still trying to wrap my head around many in Alabama preferring their teenage daughters date a 30-something man than girl their own age.

There is some particular irony for President Bone Spurs ending up in Vietnam on #VeteransDay.

 

#LouisCK “These stories are true.” That moment when a sexual predator comedian has more integrity than a man who wants to be Senator. #RoyMoore

Steve Bannon compares Roy Moore allegations to the Access Hollywood Trump tape. Yep. #predatorsofafeather

Eras of errors

November 10, 2017

The three arrested UCLA players were reportedly shoplifting Louis Vuitton sunglasses? They couldn’t have just bought fakes on street like other US tourists? #cantfixstupid

Anyone missing black light posters from 1970s should love Thursday night’s Seahawks uniforms.

In Fremont, California, a man’s car was towed when he was found to be driving on a suspended license. He then allegedly stole a FedEx truck and was arrested. Your move, Florida.

So Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension is back on as of Thursday morning. Too soon to start a pool on the next injunction?

Royals manager Ned Yost broke his pelvis when he fell working on a tree at his home. Hope if former Giants reliever Jeremy Affeldt has trees that he knows a good arborist.

Anthony Weiner is asking for pen pals in prison. I sure hope he’s also asking for proof of age.

Notre Dame reversed its decision to not provide free birth control to employees & students. Did someone remind them of need to recruit football players?

In Virginia,  Bob Marshall’s sister denounced him as homophobe on FB & said his loss to Danica Roem was “karma.” You think your Thanksgiving dinner will be awkward.

#FEMA is relocating some people from Puerto Rico at least temporarily to the US mainland. If it’s Florida can they stay until 2020 election?

Some boycotting Jim Beam over Mila Kunis’s donations to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence’s name. Damn, does this mean I have to start drinking Jim Beam?

Pretty clear that if a lot of men in Hollywood want to save their careers they need to change their registration to GOP and run for office.

#RoyMoore has made a career of obsessing about other people’s sex lives. Beginning to think Freud might have been onto something.

Trying to imagine what would happen if same woman accused both Bill Clinton & Roy Moore. Fox News heads would explode.

That moment when we’re arguing over whether GOP candidate for Senate is a pedophile or just a sexual predator.

Four women have made allegations about #RoyMoore. Over-under on the total by the end of the weekend?

 

If there’s four there’s more. #RoyMoore

#RoyMoore blaming predator allegations on “Obama-Clinton machine’s liberal media lapdogs.” Congrats to all those who had “About 6 hours” in the pool.

Trump heading to Vietnam, Melania staying in Beijing before heading to Alaska. Wonder if @FLOTUS heard whispering “free at last, free at last…”

 

 

Not a joke, but a great memory about Roy Halladay from T.C.  quoting his Canadian Hall of Fame speech:  “In a road game, fireworks were being shot off every time the home team hit a homer. After giving up three home runs in the first couple of innings, the pitching coach came out. Halladay told him whatever he had to say to keep it to himself. The coach said he had nothing to say, but just came out to give the guy time to reload the fireworks.”

What’s the spread?

November 8, 2017

Jerry Jones has apparently declared war on Roger Goodell. Pass the popcorn, this could be more fun than most NFL games.

Jameis Winston apologized for inciting incident with Saints that led to Mike Evans suspension. Will Bucs QB say he was a little crabby?

Lonzo Ball says he hasn’t spoken to any of his family since his brother was arrested for shoplifting. So every cloud DOES have a silver lining?

Some media controversy since various New York Giants players have told reporters both that head coach Ben McAdoo does and doesn’t have the support of his team.

At 1-7 does it matter?

Christopher Plummer, 87 to replace Kevin Spacey in “All the Money in the World.” Twitter really needs to have #Trendingnotdead hashtag.

Not sure what Donna Brazile plans to do with the rest of her life, but clearly it doesn’t involve Democratic party.

A top focus for Danica Roem’s campaign was Northern Virginia traffic. Proving perhaps that most people don’t care what bathroom you use as long as it doesn’t take hours on road to get to one.

Some thought there’d be little election coverage on Fox News today. Wrong, plenty of coverage. On last year’s election. #WhenallelsefailsattackHillary

New Trump restrictions go into effect for Cuba today, making it much harder for ordinary Americans to travel there. But cigars & rum still OK. Priorities!

 

Give Trump credit. Might be first GOP President ever to be mocked at the #CMAawards #beforehetweets

 

Trump today in Beijing on trade “I don’t blame China.’ Too soon to start a pool on when he will next blame China?

Looking at minority and women’s vote totals from yesterday have to wonder how long before GOP tries to repeal 15th & 19th amendments?

Is “my memory has been refreshed” the new “pushed into a lifeboat?”. #Lewandowski

Trump apparently has been driving White House chef crazy trying to get him to replicate McDonald’s food. So he hasn’t heard of Doordash?

Sebastian Gorka now employed by Fox News. Congrats to all those who had Nov. 8 in the pool.

Interesting, praised @JustinTrudeau on Twitter & suddenly got an avalanche of responses, many from possible bots. So now Russia’s interested in Canada’s election?

If Democrats insist on focusing on last election, 2017 is now officially the last election. And the message is #unityindiversity

Three and done?

November 7, 2017

3 UCLA basketball players including LiAngelo Ball arrested in China for shoplifting. For change Lavar isn’t the embarrassing one in family?

Damn, #RoyHalladay. Remember that 2010 NLCS against Giants. And his no-hitter before that. Helluva pitcher. And apparently a really nice guy.

Spurs beat Clippers –  If they could only pick up a player like Tony Parker or Kawhi Leonard they might be a pretty good basketball team.

Colts owner Jim Irsay on Andrew Luck’s injury “You know, it’s inside his head now.'” Can’t imagine how NFL owners get reputation as deplorables.

A flight headed to Bali was forced to land after a woman looked at her husband’s cellphone, discovered he was cheating, and started trying to beat him up. Did she also call him a “motherf*cking snake on a motherf*cking plane?”

#Packers may be done for the season. But if we ever needed proof that Aaron Rodgers was a possible MVP…

 

Florida woman allegedly struck nightclub bouncer w/ a 12-pack of cans of  Pabst Blue Ribbon. Good thing for him she didn’t drink more expensive bottled beer.

Texas shooter attacked wife & child w/ his bare hands, didn’t kill them, attacked a dog w/ bare hands,, didn’t kill it. But w/ an AR-15…

Trump says “extreme vetting” for guns would have made “no difference 3 days ago.” Except for those 26 people who would now be alive. #WTF?

Syria has now decided to sign Paris climate change agreement, leaving US as only country out. Make America Isolated Again.

It’s only been a year since 2016, but as Democrat feels like it’s been long time since we’ve had good election night.

Trump attempted to go to Korean DMZ but had to turn back because of weather. So maybe even God doesn’t want him anywhere near North Korea.

 

 

Fox News calls Northam’s 8+pt win in Virginia by almost 250,000 votes a “tight race.” But Hillary Clinton losing 3 states & electoral college by less than 100,000 votes total was a blowout.

Mean bitch karma chugging her wine on this one: Transgender Danica Roem candidate just defeated incumbent Virginia lawmaker who sponsored an anti-transgender bathroom bill.

Trump, on Gillespie loss in Virginia, he “did not embrace me or what I stand for.” So if Ed really had, might he have lost by 20 pts?

Phil Murphy will be new New Jersey governor. Hoping Chris Christie doesn’t burn any bridges on his way out.

 

California has 14 GOP congresspersons. Would @realDonaldTrump like to endorse any of them? Please?

Don’t understand litmus tests for 100% agreement on issues some Dems demand of candidates. Most of us don’t agree 100% with friends & spouses

Analyze this?

November 6, 2017

Cashman – Yankees fired Girardi because Joe didn’t have good “connectivity” w/ clubhouse. “Connectivity?” Is that like exit velocity?

If all ex-players with CTE and/or dying young haven’t bothered you,  but guys kneeling to protest oppression makes you stop watching NFL, you might be a racist.

All these teams don’t want to sign Colin Kaepernick because they might hear boos from fans? Guess what… Packers, Browns, 49ers, Dolphins, Giants…

 

From Marc Ragovin  “MetLife Stadium is now known as Area 51.”

Kevin Spacey has entered a sex addiction rehab program in Arizona. Congrats to all those who had Nov 6 in the pool.

From T.C.  “A World Series fan picked the first 6 games correctly, parlaying a $200,000 bet into $14,000,000. He didn’t bet on game 7, saying he needed the funds to pay for his Yankee season tickets, hot dogs and beer.”

 

Rumors that Rand Paul’s neighbor assaulted him over some sort of issue over their lawns. If only they had both been armed. #duel?

.

Many women appalled that a dispute over yards between neighbors would result in Rand Paul being assaulted. Not something serious like shopping.

Bernie Sanders petition wants DNC to implement policies to make “Democratic Party more inclusive.” Uh, Bernie, can you become a Democrat  first?

 

Interesting how same GOP that will do anything to help people keep their gun rights will do anything to take away other people’s voting rights.

GOP tax plan eliminates teachers’ ability to deduct cost of school supplies they buy from taxes. Makes sense, education causes Democrats.

Only problem w/everyone having guns is that when shooting starts, in chaos it’s hard to get good guys from the bad. Seriously.

 

Witness to #TexasChurchMassacre “The Bible tells us that we overcome evil with good.” How about good gun laws?

Kellyanne Conway “Rush” to politicize Texas shooting “disrespectful to dead.” Because in Murica we only politicize killings by brown people?’

An 18-month old was among those killed in #TexasChurchMassacre. Once again, how can you be so-called “pro-life” & anti-gun control?

 

 

Seriously, after latest Texas shooting, have to wonder, how many other domestic violence convictions have our armed forces not reported to civilian authorities?

Trump comment on recent mass shootings. “It isn’t a guns situation,” but “mental health problem at the highest level.”  The highest level as in the Oval Office?

Although Trump’s tweets so far from Asia are mild by his usual standards. Think maybe Kelly told him he didn’t have intl data plan & has control of his phone?

 

Juli Briskman, Virginia woman who flipped off Trump’s motorcade while riding bike, was fired for gesture. Guessing a few others might hire her.

If you’re in a state with 2017 elections, VOTE Tuesday  or give up all bitching rights. That is all.