Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Boys of… what season?

June 10, 2020

 

As MLB and owners go back and forth over number of games in proposed season, are they planning to bicker until we can get about 25 games in before it starts snowing in Colorado and Minneapolis.

 

Ok, one reason I wasn’t pushing for team to sign Colin Kaepernick was that didn’t think he was that good a QB anymore. On the other hand, he might be least likely player to get overly rough hits right now from opposing NFL players.

Meanwhile, COVID-19 back over 1,000 American deaths today. Anyone seen the White House Coronavirus Task Force?

Dr. Fauci on coronavirus – “In a period of four months, it has devastated the whole world. And it isn’t over yet.” Those last five words are why Trump now won’t appear with Fauci in public.

 

Stephen Miller is writing Trump’s speech on race relations. I miss the days when I could write jokes about Dan Quayle writing George H.W. Bush’s speech on the importance of spelling.

Marco Rubio asked about Trump’s tweet “I don’t read Twitter, I only write on it.” Actually sounds more like how he deals with the Bible.

(for non Twitter folks, Rubio LOVES to share Bible verses.)

 

An aide to Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear said the National Guard fired the shot that killed a Louisville restaurant owner.  This is not how America wanted to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Kent State.

Actual Trump tweet “Buffalo protester shoved by Police could be an ANTIFA provocateur. 75 year old Martin Gugino was pushed away after appearing to scan police communications in order to black out the equipment. @OANN I watched, he fell harder than was pushed. Was aiming scanner. Could be a set up?”

So if Donald is impeached again he’s going to plead not guilty by reason of insanity?

 

In Orange County, Calif, Health Officer Dr. Nichole Quick issued an order requiring face coverings in the county.
Dr. Quick just resigned after threats to her personal safety.
WTF is wrong with people?

 

Watching hot mess that is voting today in Georgia,  Rachel Maddow reports company with the contract for new voter machines-“largest rollout of elections equipment in US history” is run by- wait for it…Gov. Brian Kemp’s former campaign manager.
Would be funny if it weren’t so f*cking despicable.

On deck.

June 9, 2020

MLB is looking at a 76 game season.

Well, good news for those who worried the Orioles would lose 100 games this year.

As even the NFL admits they might have been wrong about kneeling during the National Anthem, can anyone give me one good reason why football games and other sporting events need to have the National Anthem played in the first place?

 

White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany actually cited cop buying little girl a Happy Meal today as example of good police behavior.
As we approach 5 yr anniversary of Charleston church shooting will McEnany remind us that after they arrested the suspect, police bought the now-convicted mass killer a Burger King hamburger?

 

Press Sec. Kayleigh McEnany: “Mitt Romney can say three words outside on Pennsylvania Avenue but I would note this — that President Trump won 8% of the black vote.”

Bragging about 8%. Well, this should make sure Kayleigh isn’t targeted by any dumb blond jokes.

38% approve of Trump’s handling of presidency. Joe Biden said 10-15% of Americans “are not very good people.” So what are the other 23-28% excuse?

Pretty sure America is not going to “defund the police.” Pretty sure America IS going to “defund the Trumps.”

We’re still in pandemic, nation still reeling from George Floyd murder & Trump tweets “I have retained highly respected pollster, McLaughlin & Associates, to analyze todays CNN Poll (& others), which I felt were FAKE…”  #Priorities

McLaughlin & Associates are the My Pillow of polling.

Bill Barr tells Fox News that last Friday “things were so bad that the Secret Service recommended the president go down to the bunker. We can’t have that in our country.” So, not “inspection.” Does this mean a Barr square needs to be added to “Trump Firing Bingo?”

Go offline for 30 minutes and comeback to find #JFKJRRETURN trending on Twitter thanks to QAnon. I’m gonna need a bigger 2020 Insanity Bingo Card.

Gentlemen, start your consciences?

June 8, 2020

ESPN headline “NASCAR vows to do better job addressing racial injustice.” Waiting to see the cynics claim NASCAR is just pandering to both of their black fans.

Trump tweet -“Could it be even remotely possible that in Roger Goodell’s rather interesting statement of peace and reconciliation, he was intimating that it would now be O.K. for the players to KNEEL, or not to stand, for the National Anthem, thereby disrespecting our Country & our Flag?”

And some said it couldn’t be done. Donald may have actually given the NFL the moral high road.

Maybe time to give up. As hard as I try to write snark and satire, I will NEVER be able to top this CNN headline: “White House is considering a Trump speech to the nation on race and unity.”

So Sunday it was Colin Powell.  At this point would anyone be surprised if Melania said she was voting for Biden?

As Mitt Romney marched with protesters today “… to make sure that people understand that Black Lives Matter…”

Did NOT have “Woke Mitt Romney” on my 2020 Bingo Card.
Hey Bill Barr, -“Pepper spray (also known as capsicum spray) is lachrymatory agent (chemical compound that irritates eyes to cause burning sensation, pain, & temporary blindness) used in policing, riot control, crowd control & self-defense, including defense against dogs & bears.”
Any woman who’s ever been cutting hot chili peppers and touched her eyes afterwards knows damn well about capcaisin. And any man who’s been cutting hot chili peppers before a bathroom break…. well, enough said.
If you missed Michelle Obama’s speech to 2020 graduates no worries, next weekend no doubt Melania Trump will give it again.
So now that Trump says “everything is under perfect control” in DC, what’s the next dog he’s going to wag to try to win reelection?

A proposed Trump speech to the US on race and unity makes me sadly reminiscent of those days of joking about George W. Bush being a guest host on Jeopardy.

Or Dan Quayle MC’ing the Scripps Spelling Bee.

Condi Rice said Donald Trump’s messages should be more thoughtful and rely less on Twitter. Did she also say Jeffrey Dahmer should have included more vegetables in his diet?

Some jokes don’t age well at all, but just found this I wrote in Dec 2018. It might still work: “So now apparently Ted Cruz is trending because he has a beard. Big deal. How many beards has Lindsey Graham had?

 

Trump 2020 slogan – “People are dying to re-elect me.”

Size matters

June 7, 2020
Trump tweeting about Washington protests, “Much smaller crowd in D.C. than anticipated.” Uh, no, THIS is a “much smaller crowd in D.C. than anticipated.”
Love the weekend’s protest pictures, though worry they will lead to more COVID 19 outbreaks. But also hope protesters remember what Atlanta mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms said “If you want change in America, go and register to vote.”
To-go drink for the bus to hell:  So what’s in a Lady G cocktail? Guessing Peach schnapps, Russian vodka, a lot of twists and a graham cracker crumb rim? I hear it goes down real easy.
We now know that a “misclassification error” meant that unemployment rate in May should have been 16.1% in May, not 13.3 %. But retractions never get the coverage of the original mistakes.
As a big Karen Carpenter fan from my youth, wouldn’t bother me at all if the term a “Karen” to describe a self-entitled, demanding and at times dangerous white woman was changed to an “Ivanka.”
Let us be VERY clear. If Trump really had, as he claims, “96% approval in the Republican party,” GOP members of Congress would be rushing to the camera lights to defend him, not scurrying away like cockroaches.
If only Donald Trump had spent as much time inspecting his COVID-19 and intelligence briefings as he is spending inspecting the White House bunker.
So how long until Trump tells us he had to do another bunker inspection today?
For those condemning any public figure who seems newly “woke” on Black Lives Matter and real reform – If you believe “change is gonna come,” then I think you have to accept that individuals can & do change. “I was wrong”  or “I wasn’t listening,” are both 3 very difficult words to say, but they’re a start.
Meanwhile, I’ve said before, I’ll say it again. Gregg Popovich is a national treasure:  https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/29274781/spurs-coach-gregg-popovich-says-white-people-call-racism-no-matter-consequences

Comeback time.

June 6, 2020

Drew Brees said an insensitive and stupid thing about kneeling and respecting the flag on Wednesday. He apologized Thursday and today Trump said he shouldn’t have apologized. And the New Orleans QB responded by sticking with his apology and calling out Trump.

So what time tomorrow will Trump announce he is giving a Presidential medal to the refs in Rams-Saints 2019 NFC championship who kept Drew Brees from another Super Bowl? 

Glad to see NFL at least saying  “We were wrong.” I admire Colin Kaepernick in most ways and completely supported his kneeling, but can Kap himself also now say “I was wrong,” in telling people not to vote?

 

For all those who think 2020 couldn’t be much worse, could you imagine right now if Mayor “Stop and Frisk” Bloomberg had managed to buy his way to the Democratic nomination?

CNN fact checker Daniel Dale reports that a line in Trump’s speech Friday mentioned COVID-19 “He ad-libs, “That horrible, horrible, terrible, disgusting, angry virus.”

So now Donald is using projection on a VIRUS??”!!

Almost getting to the point that I miss seeing Dr. Birx’s scarves.

 

As Trump boasted about US supposed job gains he said “Hopefully George (Floyd) is looking down right now and saying, ‘This is a great thing that’s happening for our country.”” I write some pretty twisted bus to hell satire at times and couldn’t come close to Donald’s reality.

A White House official says Melania Trump’s messaging over George Floyd’s murder and resulting protests has “frustrated the West Wing.” I really don’t care, do u?

Trump is now attacking Mayor of Washington, D.C.,  Muriel Bowser, as  “incompetent.” Maybe it’s just me, but wondering if it’s really a good idea to attack the person who has power to shut down future vanity rallies where you live?

Wanna bet if someone asks Trump about D-Day he’ll assume the D stands for “Donald?”

No playoffs for old men.

June 5, 2020

NBA commissioner Adam Silver said due to COVID-19  older NBA head coaches may not be able to be on the bench when the league starts playing again July 31 at the Walt Disney World Resort.

Now, the Atlanta Hawks won’t make even the limited postseason, so at least that eliminates league having to make a tough decision about Vince Carter.

But since Spurs are into play-in round at least might this mean Gregg Popovich will make Becky Hammon first NBA woman head coach?

Would be funny if we lived in funnier times. Seems like a lot of reaction to Drew Brees’ apology for incredibly insensitive comments on kneeling is “nah drew,”- not enough, too late. Then MAGA community mad that he apologized at all because they liked original awful statement. Brees own fault for starting this. But can’t win.

Headline – “Hundreds line up to gamble as Las Vegas casinos reopen.” Gamble for sure. So now it’s “Your money AND your life?”

 

This is not satire. Trump is so upset at Lisa Murkowski he tweets “Few people know where they’ll be in two years from now, but I do, in the Great State of Alaska (which I love) campaigning against Senator Lisa Murkowski. She voted against HealthCare, Justice Kavanaugh, and much else…
Get any candidate ready, good or bad, I don’t care, I’m endorsing. If you have a pulse, I’m with you!”
Any candidate, good or bad, I’m endorsing, If you have a pulse, I’m with you.”..

Ladies and gentlemen, the White House is occupied by a spoiled, petulant, immature 12 yr old.

If only Murkowski had a vote when Trump was impeached.

 

Since it’s increasingly hard to find things that are laugh out loud funny these days, in case you missed it, Donald Trump’s personal physician said Wednesday that Donald is 6’3″ and 244 pounds.

Yesterday Amy Klobuchar tweeted about upgraded charges for Chauvin & charges for 3 other officers for George Floyd’s death. Tweet was 7 min after Star-Tribune broke story. And some on left/MSNBC attacking her for stealing Keith Ellison’s thunder? WTF?  And why we can’t have nice things.

Thinking with all the focus on George Floyd now, you got to be a special kind of bad (and stupid) cop to commit crimes against protesters on video when it’s the lead story on every news channel and newscast.

Tiger power.

June 4, 2020

 

More than 60 Missouri football players  marched and then registered to vote Wednesday as part of the team’s call to action following the death of George Floyd while in police custody.

If others in SEC followed them I might take back a few of the negative things I regularly say about the conference.

Sometimes your heroes let you down. I’ll give Drew Brees overnight to explain and apologize for his comments.  Meanwhile, I’ll proudly defend my 2020 Presidential candidate. Not because I think Amy Klobuchar hasn’t made mistakes. But I think she’s handled last week w/ class, empathy & hard work.

And with more charges to be filed in Floyd murder,  and some screaming it should have been faster.. remember this from Minn AG Keith Ellison  “We’re moving as expeditiously, quickly & effectively as we can.But I need to protect this prosecution. I’m not going to create situation where somebody can say this was a rush to judgment.”

(btw, don’t know all the details but Klobuchar has been working and talking with him behind the scenes, and without a photo op, met with Floyd family.)

 

 

Your reminder, for all the petty things Trump found to rant about on Twitter Wednesday,  including the continual lie that DC police didn’t use tear gas,  Donald couldn’t find time to acknowledge that the other three officers involved in George Floyd’s murder have been arrested.

Seriously, I’m getting requests to sign a petition to get Bill Barr to resign?!!! Not that I don’t think Bill Barr is worse even than John Mitchell, but petitions do NOTHING w/ GOP Want Barr out? VOTE for Joe Biden and Vote Blue.  #FlipTheSenate

 

Since Trump seems so confused and upset tonight, can we hope he’ll call for firing the man who hired Mad Dog Mattis?

Kayleigh McEnany claims that Trump’s bible photo op was like “George W. Bush throwing out the ceremonial first pitch after 9/11.” Uh, more like Bush’s flyover New Orleans after Katrina. And actually by comparison W’s major gaffe doesn’t seem that bad.

 

Tonight Anderson Cooper on Kayleigh McEnany’s comparing Trump to Churchill: “She’s right. They’re both leaders of countries. They’re both old. They’re both large. Booth walked thru rubble. One did it for his country. Trump did it for himself.”

Anderson Cooper has no more f*cks to give.

 

Blackouts.

June 3, 2020

The SF 49ers have joined “Blackout Tuesday” on Instagram by posting a black square for Black Lives Matter.  If only the team had had a chance to make a meaningful statement with one of their own players….

Meanwhile, not bad for Gayle Benson, a 73 year old rich Southern White woman.

https://www.neworleanssaints.com/news/statement-new-orleans-saints-pelicans-owner-gayle-benson-social-justice

Asked about Trump, Mitch McConnell “I’m not going to critique other people’s performances.” To be fair, this is like asking the Baltimore Orioles what they think about the Miami Marlins.

Marquette University rescinded admission and a lacrosse scholarship for a young woman after she wrote a social media racist post comparing athletes kneeling to the the police officer kneeling to murder George Floyd.

As awful as the sentiment is, in this day and age, did they also rescind her admission for stupidity?

For all that Trump likes to falsely brag about saving lives, at least Donald’s pulling GOP convention from Charlotte may actually save lives in North Carolina.

 

Defense Secretary Esper on Trump church photo op: ‘I didn’t know where I was going’I like “Someone pushed me into a lifeboat” better

Your reminder that Trump said May 30 was “MAGA night.” How p*ssed was #CadetBoneSpurs that he had to call out the military after finding his base is as “brave” as he is?

Wait…. so Ivanka Trump brought daddy his photo op bible last night in her purse. Did she go grab one out of bedside table at DC Trump Hotel?

Who had “bayonets to be used against Americans” on their Trump insanity bingo card?

It’s hard to find good news these days. But here’s a bit of it….. Iowa’s Steve King is losing his House Seat.

As armed vehicles roll through the streets of DC Rachel Maddow reminds us that Trump wanted a military parade for his inaugural…. Let’s hope President Biden doesn’t need to call in the military to evict Trump on Jan 20, 2021

153 days until November 3, 2020 Today is a milestone though….. it’s 154 days since January 1, 2020. So we are officially more than halfway from New Year’s Day to the Presidential Election. Which makes me strangely happy.

Upping the ante.

June 2, 2020

After the team led by closer Sean Doolittle said  said they would make up the $100 a week difference personally, the Washington Nationals, owned by billionaire Ted Lerner, told minor leaguers on  they will receive their full weekly stipends of $400 through June.

If only shaming of rich white men would work so well in Congress.

 

Your reminder, in 2017 Trump tweeted that he asked “Pence to leave stadium if any players kneeled.”
The National Anthem takes about 2 minutes.
He has not yet directly addressed that former Officer Chauvin was kneeling for 8 minutes and 46 seconds.

Hard to believe it was less than 3 months ago that I expected to wake up at least one morning a week being most incensed to read about SF Giants having blown a winnable baseball game.

If anyone still doesn’t know why I’m a Spurs fan : Worth the read. But a few excerpts from the national treasure that is Gregg Popovich:  “It’s so clear what needs to be done. We need a president to come out and say simply that ‘black lives matter….He’s not just divisive. He’s a destroyer. In the end, what we have is a fool in place of a president, while person who really runs the country, Senator Mitch McConnell, destroys the United States for generations to come.” 

https://www.thenation.com/article/society/gregg-popovich-george-floyd-protests/

 

Anderson Cooper on CNN basically called Donald Trump a “Thug” on national television. And I have never liked Cooper more.

Meanwhile, All of us who aspire to snark are in awe of 88 year old Dan Rather. On Twitter today “Is Antifa part of Obamagate? Just trying to keep up.”

So I am missing all the tweets from those 2016 Jill Stein and Gary Johnson supporters reminding us how really, 2020 would have been no different with President Hillary Clinton instead of Donald Trump?

I’m serious. There are 53 Republican Senators in Washington DC. John McCain, if he were alive, would be expressing outrage about today. So what are the rest of their excuses?

Trump in Rose Garden “I am dispatching heavily armed soldiers” in DC to end “riots and lawlessness.” “We must never give in to anger or hatred.” Give in? “Anger” and “hatred” are your mission statement.

To sum up today:  Basically Trump just used police and tear gas so he could go to St. John’s Church across the street for a photo op, a church he’s probably never set fought in 3 1/2 years at the White House. There. Is. No. Bottom.

 

Speaking of Corinthians. 1 Coronthians 13 “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.” So who left the brass and cymbals out of Trump’s upside down bible photo op?

Spare change

May 31, 2020

Washington Nationals owner Ted Lerner, is the richest man in Maryland, worth $5.2 billion. .The team decided to begin cutting minor-league weekly stipends from $400 to $300.
Closer Sean Doolittle & rest of team are together going to chip in to make up the difference.
When pandemic is over can Lerner sell the team so America can come together to root for the Nats?

But let’s see, six minor league affiliates for Nats….. 25 on a team, about 150 players.  $15,000 a week….  Lerner could spend $15,000 a day for over 10,000 years and not spend all his money.

 

Emmanuel Macron joined Angela Merkel in declining Trump’s G-7 invite for this year.

Is there any way America can post this sign for the world? – “Under renovation- reopening under new management January 20, 2021.”

Trump tweets “Crossing State lines to incite violence is a FEDERAL CRIME!”
So how many crimes can we charge Donald with over his hate rallies?

Meanwhile, the same “President” who says he would run unarmed into a school to face a shooter now is covering in his underground bunker because only several hundred Secret Service and police are between him and unarmed protesters?
Seems very on brand
#CadetBoneSpurs

Jane Fonda showed up on CNN dressed all in black with a black beret to speak up against racism, and apparently some (mostly younger) folks didn’t get it.

Just saying,  anyone mocking Jane Fonda for suddenly speaking out needs to spend some time tonight with Mr. Google.

 

 

Okay, we all know that Marco Rubio regularly does the male Susan Collins version of being very troubled. But if you don’t think he hit a nerve,  take my word for it, Repubican FURY on Twitter over this post: “Various domestic terror groups on BOTH far left & right are instigating & committing acts of violence & looting. They are stealing the focus away from the murder of Mr. Floyd & the legitimate problems it revealed.”

Remember this Trump tweet about protesters “The governor of Michigan should give a little, and put out the fire. These are very good people, but they are angry. See them, talk to them, make a deal.” May 1, 2020 Yeah, this aged well.

Countdown.

May 31, 2020

Hard to believe, but if COVID-19 hadn’t happened, we’d still be about a week away from first game – June 4- of the NBA finals.

Meanwhile, 156 days until November 3, the Presidential Election.  Remember those days as a kid when you wished you could open advent calendar windows early to get to Christmas sooner?  Yeah, it’s like that.

 

I’m so old I remember when the only story on the news was the COVID-19 pandemic.

We’re still in a COVID-19 pandemic. Even if police don’t shoot anyone, can’t help but watching these protest crowds and thinking sadly that people are going to die from them.

 

Anyone but me trying to imagine what these protests and riots would be like if we still had a President

Missing Obama.

Meanwhile the same POTUS who claims he knows everything about everything claims he didn’t know the racist origins of the phrase “When the looting starts, the shooting starts.” The correct response to that might get me kicked off social media.

Can’t help but think that Trump is absolutely livid over the death of George Floyd. Mostly because he can’t blame it on China.

Trump tweeted “The National Guard has been released in Minneapolis to do the job that the Democrat Mayor couldn’t do. Should have been used 2 days ago & there would not have been damage. Police Headquarters would not have been taken over & ruined.”
More like, if we elected a President 3 1/2 years ago there would not have been riots.. Our democracy would not have been taken over and ruined.

SCOTUS voted 5-4 to allow Gov. Gavin Newsom to keep restrictions against allowing churches to open. Judge Roberts said “choosing when to lift restrictions during a pandemic is the business of elected officials, not unelected judges.” Trump attacks on Judge Roberts in 3.2.1…

Clerk called cops on George Floyd for allegedly paying with a counterfeit $20 bill. Most of us white folks could try to pay with $3 dollar bills and clerk might only wonder what drawer in which to put them.

Remember all those mostly funny “We survived Clinton you’ll survive Bush,” and then “We survived Bush you’ll survive Obama” t-shirts and memes? Sadly, not so sure the current GOP version “We survived Obama you’ll survive Trump” is actually working…

The longest week…. until next week

May 29, 2020

A Texas bar has a rule “No mask allowed.” Well, assume this will also apply to patrons’ funerals.

Trump claims that in California “that kids go & they raid mailboxes & they hand them to people that are signing ballots.” I’m California voter. My husband scrawled signature on ballot few years ago, got RETURNED to him because signatures didn’t match. He had to redo it. Period.

 

Plagiarizers of a feather. We all remember Melania with Michelle Obama. Tonight Donald “when the looting starts, the shooting starts.” Wasn’t a great line the first time, when uttered by Miami police chief Walter Headley in 1967.

Let us be very very clear. Trump does not care about the life of George Floyd The only life he cares about is his own.

Trump still on his #VoteByMail rant. “Our election process will become badly tainted & a laughingstock all over the World. ” Uh, fixed it for him “Our Presidency has become badly tainted & a laughingstock all over the World.”

Forget no criticism of armed protesters: Trump never even referred to the killer of #HeatherHeyer as a “thug.”

 

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that a man who refuses to give his DNA in a rape case doesn’t want his facts checked on Twitter either.

Amazing, White House tweeting that Trump “just took executive action to fight online censorship by tech corporations, including social media platforms.” Twitter censored nothing Donald tweeted. They simply offered a fact check. . So facts now official have a liberal bias?

 

I challenge any GOP Senator to take a quick scroll through Trump’s twitter feed Thursday  morning and tell me POTUS is a sane man. (sadly this may become an evergreen tweet.)

And I’m writing this and going to bed a couple hours before Donald will wake up and see that Twitter flagged his tweet about looting and shooting as “inciting violence.”

Serious closing items:

A story last night indicated that Amy Klobuchar, while  Hennepin County DA, had let the cop who killed George Floyd off the hook for shooting a man in 2006. Since I am an Amy fan this was disturbing but story seemed a bit off.  A little research found the case was a domestic violence, with someone  (allegedly) who had stabbed their girlfriend and friend, threatened to shot them, and then pointed, and refused to drop,  a shotgun at six cops, who all opened fire, killing the suspect.  But the date was October 29, 2006. To non-political junkies, that was 9 days before Klobuchar was elected to the Senate.  And no way a prosecution happens that fast, especially in a case that seemed a lot like “suicide by cop.”

Today many news sites went with the story simply that she had let Floyd’s killer off the hook, often tying it to “well, so much for VP chances,” and some making it sound like she should resign, and I tried to point out the issues when I could.

Tonight, the DA’s office issued this statement,- “Hennepin County Grand Jury returned no-bill in death of Wayne Reyes on Oct. 25, 2007. All prosecutorial decisions were made under the direction of Mike Freeman.” Amy joined Senate January 20, 2007

Facts matter.  Let’s see how many retractions happen Friday.

On their feet screaming

May 27, 2020

 

MAGAs and some conservatives clutching their pearls over Donna Brazile saying “Jesus Chr*st” on air while US death toll tops 100,000 is all you need to know about Trump’s base.
Seriously, guessing Jay Cutler with the Bears had probably millions of Chicago fans screaming “Jesus Chr*st” on a regular basis every Sunday.
Dodger Stadium has now opened as the largest coronavirus testing facility in state of California, and apparently can check up to 6,000 people daily.   Of course it could probably check more if people would start showing up sooner than an hour after scheduled start time.
Mitt Romney tweeted “I  know Joe Scarborough. Joe is a friend of mine. I don’t know T.J. Klausutis. Joe can weather vile, baseless accusations but T.J.? His heart is breaking. Enough already.”
Which Republican wants to stand up for decency and to be brave enough to join Mitt Romney in this statement? I’m waiting.
Department of Homeland Security says Trump has built just three miles of new border wall where no barrier existed before. Three miles?! Seriously? Jimmy Carter gets more done in a weekend with Habitat for Humanity!
As DOJ continues to investigate Richard Burr for insider trading, Kelly Loeffler, who seems as least as guilty, looks like she’ll get off scot-free.
I’m sure the fact Richard Burr’s Intelligence Committee came up with a report saying Russia interfered in the 2016 election, along with the fact that that Loeffler’s husband donated $1 million to Trump’s re-election, had NOTHING to do with it.
Now there’s going to be a tough decision for Trump: NASA / SpaceEx launch pushed off until Saturday. So will it be another expensive photo op? Or a golf game?
A real President who’d traveled to Florida for the SpaceX launch would be tweeting that the NASA delay was disappointing but safety always comes first. Of course a real President who cared about safety would be wearing a mask.
And if you think he’s bad on Twitter, this is Trump fundraising email “There is NO WAY that universal mail-in ballots will be anything less than substantially fraudulent. Mailboxes will be robbed, ballots will be illegally printed out and forged, and the Election will be RIGGED.”
(so is donald sharing the GOP plan out loud?)
Got an idea for DonaldTrump  Why bother signing a toothless Executive Order because you’re unhappy with Twitter? Just put Jared in charge of creating an alternate social media platform and delete your Twitter account?
Problem solved.
Just wondering… If Trump came up with his own social media site to compete with Twitter, what would he call it?

Missed it by that much…

May 27, 2020
The NHL hopes to abandon the rest of the regular season and go straight into the playoffs with 24 teams –
So the 29-36 San Jose Sharks came about 3 games short of making the postseason.

Reports indicate two horses trained by Bob Baffert tested  positive for a banned substance in Arkansas earlier this month according to multiple reports. Well,  at least  horses can’t complain to the media it was a “tainted supplement.”

Asked again about his Breakfast Club attempted quip, Joe Biden said “I shouldn’t have been a wise guy. It was a mistake. When I make a comment that is offensive to some people I SHOULD apologize.” I miss having a President.

Asked about Trump and his insults, Joe Biden gets commended for understatement “looks like’s he’s having trouble controlling his own emotions.”

 

Kayleigh McEnany says it’s “peculiar” that Joe Biden wears a mask to a memorial, but not with Jill at home.   Guess Press Secretary Barbie doesn’t realize that people who are staying at home don’t need to be wearing masks with the people they are staying at home with? Or is it once again the question, “stupid or evil?”

CNN has a headline “Why won’t some people wear masks?” And there’s one simple answer for many Americans. Dear Leader acts like they are not necessary. Trump’s ego is killing people. Literally.

Don’t get me wrong… Richard Burr sure seems guilty of insider trading, but from outside Kelly Loeffler seems even more guilty. Except Burr dared cross Trump by apparently coming up w/ impartial report on Russian interference in 2016 election. This is how banana republics work.

Watching that video made me sick, and made me want to throw those Minneapolis cops in prison & throw away the key. And yes, it’s not fair the cops will get more justice than George Floyd got. But IMHO we don’t need vigilantism, we need to make sure prosecutors win this case.

Our Cheeto-In Chief is not amused “Twitter is completely stifling FREE SPEECH, and I, as President, will not allow it to happen!” Fine. Show them what you think. Delete your account.

Fore

May 26, 2020

Tom Brady with Phil Mickelson lost to Tiger Woods and Peyton Manning in a charity match play yesterday.  And Saints coach Sean Payton weighed in…“I’m liking this Florida @TomBrady right now,” Payton said in a tweet.

Good to know social distance doesn’t stop snark.

 

Included in Trump’s rants this weekend is that he played golf “for the first time in almost 3 months.” Uh, he played March 8. Then again May 23. That’s 2 1/2 months Such a trivial detail, and yet, no lie too small.

Seeing so many crowd scenes from the weekend of people close together and not wearing masks. Do they realize the point of Memorial Day is to honor the dead, not to try to join them?

 

Donald Trump in an interview today said of his former attorney general Jeff Sessions that he was not “mentally qualified” for the job. Well, Sessions WAS the first US Senator in 2016 to endorse Trump.

 

We are 3 months away from Republican National Convention & Trump wants guarantees on being able to operate at “full attendance” in North Carolina.

Uh for comparison purposes… about 3 months ago in late February Trump proclaimed “Because of all we’ve done, the risk to American people remains very low.”

Meanwhile, this headline from Fox News, no joke. “Shootings, MAGA boat parades mark start to Memorial Day as US adapts to post-pandemic culture.” We. are. not. in.”POST-PANDEMIC” culture. Would be funny if State TV wasn’t going to get innocent front-line workers killed.

Yeah, President Obama wore a tan suit in the White House. You know what he’d also be wearing in the White House now? A mask.

So as Donald Trump spars with North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper over being able to have “full attendance” at August’s RNC conference scheduled for Atlanta, how long until GOP debuts their new slogan?
“People Are Dying To Re-Elect Trump.”

Sociopath-In-Chief accuses his political opponents of being criminals & murderers, & golfs on Memorial Day weekend while hawking Trump-Pence mugs to honor dead. Yeah, Joe Biden said it wrong. Joe should’ve said, “if you have problem figuring out who you’re for, you ain’t human.

Trump finally tweets out some well-wishes during pandemic and it’s to Allen West, former Florida Rep running for Texas Republican Chair, who was injured in motorcycle crash returning from “Free Texas Rally,” a protest against COVID-19 lockdowns. You cannot make this “stuff” up.

Running the numbers.

May 24, 2020

NHL considering a modified postseason where 24 of 31 teams make the playoffs.

And as a casual observer I wonder, this differentiates from standard operating procedure how?

Meanwhile today Eli Manning  joins Twitter, gets into some very white trash talk with Tom Brady.  And how much am I nostalgic for a world in which that was today’s biggest controversy on social media.

Random question.  If churches are essential what was the point of all those bedtime prayers we learned as children?

Chief Justice Roberts told his son’s high school graduating class that COVID-19 pandemic should teach “humility and compassion.” Now can he say the same to Trump?

Joe Biden said he was trying to be a “wise guy’ and apologized. Donald Trump still can’t admit the Spanish Flu pandemic was in 1918, not 1917.

 

Amazing how many people who defended the rights of businesses to choose not to make wedding cakes for gay couples, are furious when other businesses choose to tell customers to wear masks to save lives.

 

Jeff Sessions was the very first Senator to endorse Trump. Today in a tweet storm Donald attacks him and tells him to drop out of the Alabama Senate race. Again, reminder to Trump GOP loyality lapdogs in the Senate, there is no “immunity passport.” – #ETTD

Trump is demanding, even in COVID-19 hotspots, that churches must be allowed to reopen. Back in college, my studies focused on Tudor England, when your religion and how you prayed could get you killed. Kind of thought in USA we’d moved beyond that.

 

Not a joke, the President of the United States is accusing TV host of murder, & sending out Fundraising email headlined “HILLARY CLINTON  – Shouldn’t she be in jail?” Meanwhile Democrats obsess about our candidate making a stupid joke. Why we can’t have nice things.

Conventional wisdom: Biden said stupid thing, apologized, but needs to make up for it by picking VP of color. Dissenting opinion: Joe, always gaffe-prone, is 78. He won primary but reminded us his best VP is a younger version of himself. Yes, I DO think that’s Amy Klobuchar.

Just thinking, if you’re more upset by Joe Biden’s “you ain’t black” gaffe, than you are about White House using OANN plant to ask Kayleigh McEnany if Trump will pardon President Obama, you might want to rethink your priorities.

In all seriousness, one of the things I truly love about Joe Biden is the man’s ability to say “I made a mistake.”

There’s a man who KNOWS Joe Biden isn’t racist. There’s a man who I supported, still do, with all my heart and hope he speaks out now. That man is Barack Obama.

 

Are we ready for some not football?

May 21, 2020

Alabama football coach Nick Saban did a PSA where he scolded the Crimson Tide’s mascot for not wearing a mask.

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/29206506/nick-saban-scolds-crimson-tide-mascot-lack-mask-psa

Good start Nick, now do Trump.

According to ESPN report,  canceling the college football season would result in a $4 billion loss for college athletic programs across the country.

Wonder how much it would cost ESPN.

Lori Loughlin and her husband, who’ve been expensively tying up court resources for over a year, decided to plead guilty to bribing their daughters’ way into USC.   She’s getting two months in jail.   He’s getting five months, During a time when most prisoners are getting let out early for Coronavirus.

“Siri, what is white privilege.”

 

Got an ad from Bloomingdale’s to rent unlimited designer clothing for $99 a month. “Wow, that’s high on my list right now” said…nobody?

 

WTAF? Now Trump campaign is offering “a chance to get your very own limited-edition Commemorative Trump-Reagan Coin Set.”
Uh, Ronald Reagan would be “horrified” and “heartbroken” by Trump’s America – Patti Davis.
My father “would have been embarrassed and ashamed’ of Trump. -Ron Reagan.
What do they know?

As Trump starts up again with baseless allegations of voter fraud, it’s not too soon for principled Republicans (remember those?) to stand up and say they will absolutely respect and honor election results on November 3.

It’s not just respect. Trump supporters idolize him and follow his lead. If he wore a mask, more of them would start wearing masks. And lives would be saved. Many thousands of lives.

Trump on not wearing a mask – “I didn’t want to give the Press the pleasure of seeing it.” So literally being willing to kill people to spite the Press. Got it. 

Are we really surprised that a man who refused to wear a condom with his mistresses won’t wear a mask now?

So how much of Trump’s recent rage is caused by the realization we’re going to hit 100,000 COVID-19 deaths by Memorial Day and it’s going to interfere with his bragging?

As Joe Biden vets Amy Klobuchar as a possible running mate remember one thing: Joe is trying to win the Presidency. He’s not trying to win Twitter.

In all seriousness, as big of a Klobuchar fan as I’ve become, at this point if it really takes Biden’s running mate choice to convince you to vote for Joe over the Cheeto In Chief, you might want to reconsider your priorities.

Ring things.

May 20, 2020
Washington Nationals announced they’ll unveil their 2019 World Series rings in virtual event on Sunday. Bad news – fans & players won’t get the full celebration experience. Good news, the team won’t have to deal with event overshadowed by DC fans booing Trump.
If NBA playoffs happen,, Orlando and Disney World are considered frontrunner to host the games. All the way to  a potential championship.
Such a deal would probably exclude future games involving the Knicks.  A shame, because few teams better exemplify the term “Mickey Mouse organization.”

Amy Klobuchar is leading an effort by Senator Democrats to get antitrust regulators to scrutinize Uber’s potential deal for Grubhub.

Think this doesn’t matter?  Ever been stuck in the rain or on a busy Friday night trying to get a ride?  Imagine surge pricing for any weekend or prime time dinner order? And heaven help you if you order during say, the Super Bowl.

 

On a lighter note….last night a Twitter friend asked for suggestions for Joe Biden campaign song. Still have an idea going through my head – How about “Here Comes The Sun?” – “the smile’s returning to their faces.. it seems like years since it’s been here….”

How long until Trump conspiracy theorists attack Joe Biden  for doing something terrible like talking on his phone in Amtrak’s “quiet car?”

I’m so old I remember when we had a coronavirus task force.

Since Tara Reade keeps changing story, first changing it to say she wasn’t wearing pantyhose (unlikely, they were part of dress code, and you could get sent home for bare legs) , and  now claiming she wore crotchless panties, I  did a bit of research to see if they were even sold in DC. Now getting online ads for Frederick’s of Hollywood. Sigh.

Yeah, I know VP race is the only interest many in the media have in the Biden campaign, but maybe they’re stretching just a bit for material? This from a USA Today article on if Joe should pick a woman of color: “Klobuchar, Whitmer and Warren all are white.” Gosh, who knew?

Meanwhile, while Trump attacks Michigan and Nevada, when will he cut off funding to Colorado and Utah, which have the option for 100% of their residents to vote by mail?

So has everyone without a gun today had time to check on their potatoes?

 

Lost in today’s craziness, Trump is considering holding the G-7 IN PERSON, at Camp David, NEXT MONTH. Uh, for starters, just thinking leaders of other countries know if they travel, it won’t be to a COVID-19 hotspot like the US.

Short cuts?

May 20, 2020

Wait…the 2020 Belmont Stakes on June 20 is now going to be a 1 1/8 mile race, instead of 1 1/2 miles?!!!
As long as no one even THINKS of touching Secretariat’s 1973 race record.

Apparently the Sears Tower in Chicago lost power tonight. How I miss the chance to have made a Cubs joke.

From Marc Ragovin “A South Korean soccer league team has apologized for planting sex dolls throughout the stands to make the stadium appear fuller. Man, talk about inflating attendance figures.”

Happy Birthday Pete Townshend. Pete is now 75??!! So now it’s “Who Are You… and where did I put my keys?”

Very confused now. So Trump says Virginians need 2nd Amendment to guard their potatoes. From who? Grizzly bears?

“Cover me Bob, I’m going in for Russets.”

 

 

Nonpolitical question. As many online ads as I still get for places like Sephora etc, why has no cosmetic company come out with “mask-proof lipstick?

 

Kevin McCarthy today criticized Nancy Pelosi for talking about Trump’s weight. “I would not as Speaker use those terms.” Gosh, must have missed McCarthy’s comments about a POTUS calling political opponents “Crooked” “Liddle” “Shifty” “Cheatin'” “Sleepy” “Loser” “Crazy,” etc.

USA Today Headline “Trump goes with his ‘gut,’ outside advice on decision to medicate with hydroxychloroquine.” “Goes with his gut?” Must. Not. Make. Morbidly. Obese. Jokes.

So let me see if I have this straight, many Americans seem more concerned about if Nancy Pelosi fatshamed Trump than if the US was illegally selling arms to the Saudis.

Despite Georgia being CAUGHT publishing misleading data on COVID-19, Gov. Brian Kemp maintains state’s cases are going down – “It’s really not a big issue. People trust the data. I certainly do.” Right, same as we should trust Kemp’s purging more than 1/2 million voters in 2016?

 

 

Tonight was the Oregon primary.  Joe Biden got over 70% of the vote, while Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, both still on the ballot, got 18% and 9% respectively.

Now while Joe Biden IS going to be the Democratic nominee I do understand  the desire to vote for Sanders or another candidate who’s dropped out to make a statement in remaining primaries. Just please get it out of your system before Nov. 3. Because then it’s Biden or Trump. Period. 

Media really missing something by ignoring Joe Biden virtual town hall. Seriously. What does it take, would Joe have to pretend he’s taking some crazy drug, or come up with a catchy insult? We should be better than this.

Yeah, I am talking to you CNN, CBS, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, Fox News.

A new season?

May 19, 2020

NFL Players Associate reported they are testing prototypes of modified facemasks that might contain surgical or N95 material.

The masks might even be used this year to protect players from COVID-19. Not that Tom Brady will need one. No defensive player can get within 3 feet of him without risking a penalty.

COVID-19 issues mean Raiders new stadium in Las Vegas isn’t finished yet. But hey, if If NFL teams want to open the season in stadiums without fans, well, there is an available empty stadium in Oakland.

So Chuck E Cheese, whose restaurants are closed during pandemic, decided to change their name on Grubhub apps to Pasqually’s Pizza. I smell a rat.

All of these pictures of “reopen” protestors and people packing gyms are going to be very useful when we need to do COVID-19 contact tracing in a couple weeks.

Trump’s campaign is launching a new website “Truth Over Facts.” Who wants to tell him?

Florida Senator Marco Rubio has been named the acting chair of the Intelligence Committee. Is this the first time on Twitter that “Florida” and “Intelligence” have regularly appeared in the same sentence?

Texas Governor Abbott posted then deleted a tweet indicating that Texas and Florida had lower “morality” rates than California and New York. Well, he said it

So what’s a higher number in Trump White House… The number of IGs & others Donald says he doesn’t know but chooses to fire? Or the number of women he says he doesn’t know and wouldn’t have chosen to sexually assault?

Of course we know “He’s Lying.” Dr. House was right “It’s a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what.” So what is Donald Trump lying about now? Or rather, what is he hoping we won’t notice while we’re focused on his latest lie?

So who had “Trump taking hydroxychloroquine” on this week’s insanity bingo card?

 

So if Trump wants to prove he is not “Morbidly Obese” he can simply step on a scale in front of reporters.
Just saying.

 

Trump tonight tweeted “Fox News is no longer the same. We miss the great Roger Ailes. You have more anti-Trump people, by far, than ever before. Looking for a new outlet!”
As if all America didn’t already know Trump was cheating on Fox News with OANN.