Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Next up, Wossamotta U?

December 3, 2018

Sometimes you just have to love the internet. Russell Okung, out of Oklahoma State, decided to have some fun during SNF introductions. And Wikipedia was on it ” Russell Okung is an American football offensive tackle for the Los Angeles Chargers of the National Football League. He played college football for Wakanda Tech University, and was twice recognized as an All-American.

 

How long until Nick Saban tries to set up a non-conference game with Wakanda Tech?

Since Ohio State didn’t make the CFB Playoff and we probably aren’t done with the Zach Smith story, is it time for Urban Meyer to resign again for “health reasons?”

Kareem Hunt says he was wrong, and the Chiefs were in the right. Translation “I want to get signed by another team as soon as my suspension is over.”
No worries, the Cowboys and Redskins and Patriots have already probably contacted his agent..

Seriously, I’m glad Kareem Hunt is apologizing. But the incident was months ago, and he LIED to the Chiefs saying it didn’t happen.
So is he really just sorry he got caught?

Lots of folks in the NFL talking about how difficult Kareem Hunt situation is, and hoping he gets help etc.. Props to QB Patrick Mahomes for his comment “I saw the stuff that happened. We don’t do those things.

Third time’s the charm? THREE off sides by Steelers eventual game-winning field goal. Even Browns thinking “We never lost one like THAT.”

In North Carolina, the “nine-member elections board — which includes four Democrats, four Republicans and one unaffiliated voter — agreed UNANIMOUSLY to delay certification of the results in the 9th District election amid allegations of an effort to fill in or discard the absentee ballots of Democratic voters.”
Hope this doesn’t give Florida ideas.

On a book tour, Michelle Obama said “It’s not always enough to lean in, because that sh*t doesn’t work all the time.”
Fox News headline, “Michelle Obama curses, dismisses feminist advice.”

Absolutely stuns me in many ways that Monica Lewinsky’s affair with Bill is still causing regular negative headlines for Clintons, while we barely hear these days about behavior with women of President “Grab them by the pussy.”

Amazing amount of vitriol directed by some at Democrats who say anything nice about #Bush41 posthumously. Let’s not make this a Trump legacy that we HAVE to hate our political opponents. Seriously.

 

 

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Axed

December 2, 2018

Stanford beat Cal today for their ninth straight Big Game victory.  But hey, besides an over 100 year old rivalry, the Cardinal and Golden Bears probably had a Red Box Bowl bid on the line.

 

If SEC really feels their conference is so superior that even the runner-up should be in playoffs, perhaps they could show it by not playing teams like UMass, Austin Peay, Arkansas State and The Citadel?

UCF rallied from 17-point halftime deficit to beat Memphis and stay undefeated. Wonder how many Power Five conference teams REALLY had hoped to send the Tigers champagne? Womp womp

Nate Taylor of The Athletic says Kareem Hunt will be suspended for 6 games. If so, expect a bidding war between Patriots, Cowboys, Redskins and Steelers who might hope to have him for a conference championship game.

Wonder how many people were rooting for Oklahoma just to keep Urban Meyer out of the CFB playoff?

 

Your reminder that while George H.W. Bush is too gracious a man to exclude a sitting President from his funeral, Bush 41 did say he voted for Hillary Clinton.

Trump says he is postponing a press conference about his G20 accomplishments out of respect for George H.W. Bush. Translation. He was a laughing stock, and this will give him an accuse never to have one.

Trump is planning another meeting with Kim Jong Un in early January 2019. As soon as he can figure out a design for the next beautiful commemorative coins?

No, liberals haven’t suddenly fallen in love with George H. W. Bush, think John McCain’s town hall quote about Barack Obama applies here – “He’s a decent family man [and] citizen that just I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues.”

 

Open note to anyone complaining that we shouldn’t say anything positive about George H.W. Bush because he did some bad things – litmus tests are a large part of how we got Donald Trump in the White House.

Not quite marching in

November 30, 2018

 

Well. If you’re going to have the whole team have a collective off night, better now than in the postseason.  On a brighter note for Saints fans the last time Cowboys broke their long winning streak it worked out okay – in 2009.

But hey, IMHO, the Cowboys still suck.  And if that hit on Kamara wasn’t targeting, then maybe NFL should get rid of the rule.

 

And didn’t we all have the Toronto Raptor and L.A. Clippers leading their respective conferences on November 30… Followed by the Milwaukee Bucks and  Denver Nuggets. #LiarsDice

Look, Richard Sherman has had a great career. But now he says about his former QB Wilson “I don’t really have a relationship with Russell . We were teammates.”

Sherman also has no relationship with his former Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh. Not that we need an NFL “kumbaya”  but at some point, yeah, it’s not you it’s me.

 

Jim Acosta reported today that source close to White House called former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen a ‘rat’ adding, ‘inmates hate rats.”

On the other hand, rats multiply around garbage.

Trump said this morning Michael Cohen is a “weak person.” Gosh, almost as the man who throws EVERYONE under the bus is shocked when people don’t stay loyal to him.

 

Not sure if Michael Cohen has ever been to Russia. But guessing it’s off his future travel list. Along possibly with having tea in London?

Anyone think until today that Trump knew who Senator Tim Scott was?

 

Trump says that he misses New York. How long until they try to build a wall around Manhattan?

Trump canceled meeting with Putin today. Maybe Donald doesn’t want to face his boss after leaving his former lawyer alive to testify against him?

Russia news agency said “Kremlin regrets US Pres. Donald Trump’s decision to cancel a meeting with Russian Pres Vladimir Putin in Argentina and said Moscow is ready for contact with Trump.” In other words, your boss wants to see you in his office.

How much are we bid?

November 29, 2018

Tampa Bay Buccaneers are giving two additional free tickets for season ticket-holders for this weekend’s game against the Carolina Panthers.  What’s next, paying them to bring additional fans to games?

 

 

Washington coach Jay Gruden, saying there is no guarantee Reuben Foster will play for Redskins “We hold our standards very high…”
And he said it with a straight face.

Aldon Smith has agreed to a plea deal from his latest domestic violence arrest. The plea includes 90 days in jail and three years probation.  The SF Chronicle says Smith will be permitted to serve the sentence at an inpatient alcohol and drug treatment center.

So how long will it take before the Redskins sign him too?

Ivanka Trump says “there no equivalency” between her use of personal email for government business and Hillary Clinton’s. Right, it’s the IOKIYT rule – “It’s OK If You’re Trump.:

Apparently the Salvation Army, which for all its good works has been strongly anti-LGBT, and bans non-celibate gays from serving as officers, is warning members not to discuss their anti-LGBT rights views in public during the Christmas bell-ringing season.

Uh, has the Army considered instead possibly rethinking their views?

 

 

As Donald Trump continues off the rails with rant about “the Angry Mueller Gang of Dems.. “viciously telling witnesses to lie,” your reminder that Robert Mueller is a decorated veteran and a REPUBLICAN/

Ann Coulter “Trump will be the last Republican president.” Because “Every day, more and more immigrants turn 18 and start voting, canceling out all of your votes.”
Uh, how about not blaming immigrants and blaming evolution?

Apparently now NRA’s television division is laying off employees. So, disgruntled and angry people with guns… what could go wrong?

 

Margaret Atwood says she is writing a sequel to “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Meanwhile GOP is working on the nonfiction version.

A little less winning…

November 28, 2018

Mike Krzyzewski after Duke’s first loss of the season. “Let’s not get spoiled.”
And fans of other college basketball teams thinking – uh, a few decades late for that.

-Washington Redskins claimed Reuben Foster off waivers from the 49ers. Did they do it so the Patriots wouldn’t grab him first?

Jameis Winston has settled with Uber driver who said he groped her in 2016. Maybe now the Tampa Bay QB can stick to grabbing crab legs

United delay message ” We want you to know your flight is departing late because your crew arrived later than scheduled and has not had sufficient off-duty/rest time required by federal law. We value your time and we’re sorry for the inconvenience.”

Well, come on, pilots needed rest is science. When is Trump going to try to change THIS law.

 

So now Trump is taking on GM. What happens when Ford follows suit and closes plants? Will he take back those lovely tax cuts he gave them?

Let’s be real. If there were a tape of Putin and Trump talking and Vlad saying “I will give you emails to help you defeat Clinton if you do everything I say to benefit Russia once you are elected” MAGAers would say it was a good thing because Putin saved us from Hillary.

Can we all imagine what Trump supporters would do if an immigrant neighbor put red trees like Melania Trump’s on their lawn as holiday decorations?

Trump on denying his own administration’s climate change report “A lot of people like myself, we have very high levels of intelligence but we are not necessarily such believers.”
Well, the first and last six words are right.
Seriously? John Bolton says he has not listened to the audio of Jamal Khashoggi’s murder, because he “doesn’t speak Arabic.”
Uh, but we all scream in the same language.
Trump is threatening to cut GM subsidies. So what’s he going to do when Ford closes plants next?

Misplaced sympathy?

November 26, 2018

49ers GM John Lynch on Reuben Foster’s release – It “doesn’t mean we don’t love him. We all do. We care about the kid, care about his future.”
For some reason, crickets about the young woman he’s repeatedly been assaulting. And we wonder why young men get the idea domestic violence is okay.

Good news bad news for Golden State fans.  Good news – Warriors came back from 18 down to win tonight. Bad news, they needed to do it against the Orlando Magic.

 

 

Wait, the Washington Wizards have won 2 in a row, and 3 of their last 4?    Hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.

Now Trump is ranting about CNN and their global coverage. “Something has to be done, including the possibility of the United States starting our own Worldwide Network to show the World the way we really are, GREAT!”
Maybe he should resign and start his own network with Sean Hannity?

You know optics on teargassing children are bad when the Fox News headline is basically “Well, Obama used pepper spray on migrants…”

Fortunately for Trump, who doesn’t care about bad things that happen in blue states, the pain from GM plant closures will mostly be felt in Ohio and Michigan….

 

Utah GOP rep Mia Love, in her concession speech on Trump’ post-election criticism of her “…this gave me a clear vision of his world as it is. No real relationships, just convenient transactions.”
Uh, what was Love’s first clue?

Okay, after thousands of emails starting from “Pre-Black Friday” through “Black Friday” through “Black Friday Weekend” through “Cyber Monday,” how long until we start hearing about ‘Extended Cyber Monday?”

 

 

So now apparently Ted Cruz is trending because he has a beard.
Big deal. How many beards has Lindsey Graham had?

 

Federal prosecutors now allege Paul Manafort has “breached” his plea agreement with Justice Department by lying to the FBI and Mueller’s office.
And we thought Martha Stewart was stupid for lying to FBI over a little stock sale.

 

A slow Blue Wave can still be a Blue Tsunami ”

From AP – The AP is retracting its call in the race for California’s 21st Congressional District. The AP had declared Republican David Valadao the winner. However, Democrat T.J. Cox has taken the lead in the vote count. No new call will be made until the results are certified.”

If Cox wins it’s the 40th seat flipped.

Did the dog eat their receipt too?

November 25, 2018

MLB says they have asked for their $5,000 donation back to Mississippi Senate candidate Cindy Hyde-Smith, claiming “The contribution was made in connection with an event that M.L.B. lobbyists were asked to attend.”
Jeez, and MLB thinks some of players’ steroids excuses are bad.

 

The Calgary Stampeders. who had the CFL’s best regular season record, won this year’s Grey Cup today over Ottawa, 27-16.
Yeah, I know people often joke about the college champion, but wonder how many NFL teams the Stampeders actually COULD beat.

Just pointing out that the Cleveland Browns have as many wins- plus a tie – as the Raiders and 49ers put together.

49ers release Reuben Foster after his latest DV arrest last night. Of course, considering that the LB was already on two years’ probation since June stemming from his last arrest, guessing he was going to be unavailable anyway.

Phillip Rivers tied an NFL record set by Ryan Tannehill with 25 straight completed passes Sunday. But does Rivers’ share of the record have an asterisk because it was against the Arizona Cardinals?

 

 

So first it’s romaine lettuce, how long until we have a live-action sequel to Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle?”

Michelle Obama’s book “Becoming” is now #1 on NY Times bestseller list.
I’m sure if he finds out Donald Trump will have an appropriately dignified and congratulatory response.

Senator Joni Ernst, asked about Friday’s climate change report said that climate “ebbs and flows”. Right. Because she has so much experience with tides in Iowa?

As Donald Trump is now referring to himself as “President T” can we almost cue Professor Harold Hill – “with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pee.. (And where is that tape anyway?”)

If it’s all a question of wages, and immigrants taking jobs that Americans really want to do, how come Donald Trump insisted he needed to hire over 70 temporary foreign workers, mostly from Haiti, at Mar-A-Lago?

Surely if ANYONE could have afforded to pay a living wage.

 

Since it is public record with the H2-B visa requests – ie hiring immigrants because you can’t find Americans, I’m sure Donald Trump doesn’t mind the world knowing at Mar-A-Lago for 2018, he was offering the princely wage of $13.31 per hour – down three cents from 2017. Can’t imagine why US citizens wouldn’t jump at that in pricey South Florida….

If Trump had a golf course in San Diego and some of his employees were included in the 90,000 cross-border commuters from Mexico, does anyone think he wouldn’t find another way to deal with the migrants than closing the border.

Seriously as a nation can we at least agree on a few things? Like “Teargassing children is wrong.”

If you say you’d do ANYTHING for your children, but are condemning mothers who want to help their children escape horrors in Central and Latin America, you just might be a hypocrite.