Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

And then there was #1

January 9, 2017

Only bad thing about Clemson’s amazing win is that somewhere Lane Kiffin is smirking.

At the end, only thing that could have saved #Alabama & #NickSaban was the #Stanford band. #NationalChampionship

The National Championship was close to 4 hours long with over  4 minutes left in 4th. Even Yankees and Red Sox were saying “guys, speed it up already.”

Steelers assistant coach Joey Porter was arrested last night outside a Pittsburgh bar after allegedly assaulting the doorman. Porter is charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, resisting arrest, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct.
Wow.. Imagine what might have happened if Pittsburgh actually lost.

On a brighter note for the #Raiders, their 13 point loss to the #Texans was the closest game of Wild Card weekend. @espn

 

Tom Brady about the upcoming game with the Texans “There is nothing easy about this game for our offense.” He had the grace not to add “our defense, however, is salivating.”

Early this morning @realDonaldTrump called #MerylStreep “over-rated.” So congratulations to all those who had “about 8 hours” in the pool.

So if any country wants to launch attack on USA during Trump’s presidency, guess they just need the distraction of a celebrity insulting him.

Marissa Mayer apparently will resign from Yahoo when the sale to Verizon is finalized. Will Mayer then run for office in California touting her business experience?

John Kerry issued a formal State Department apology today for “decades of discrimination against LGBT employees and job applicants.”
Waiting for the House GOP rebuttal.

Donald Trump has fired Charlie Brotman, 88, the Inaugural parade announcer for every President back to Eisenhower in 1957, and replaced him with a 58-year-old volunteer.
Anyone known one of those male cats who gets introduced to a new home and has to urinate in EVERY single corner to mark his territory?

Trump hurting a lot of feelings w/ his inaugural parade. He fires 88-year-old announcer, then tells Chris Christie he can’t be a float.

Trump’s now to officially name son-in-law Jared Kushner as a senior White House advisor per @NBCNews “#IfthePresidentdoesititisnotillegal

An Emirates Air flight from from Muscat, Oman to Dubai was cancelled yesterday after baggage handlers found a loose snake on board. Wonder how they decided the snake was loose – if it was female maybe it wasn’t wearing a hijab?.

Trump met today with the chair of Alibaba. The Chinese company was placed back last month on a list of counterfeit marketplaces by the United States Trade Representative over selling fake and pirated goods. But maybe Trump isn’t worried, figuring no one would want to make knock-off Trump branded merchandise.

 

Monica Crowley, Trump’s choice for director of communications for the National Security Council, was recently accused of many instances of plagiarism in her 2012 book, and in a 1999 Wall Street Journal article. Now Politico says they have found several more instances of plagiarism in her dissertation.
Maybe Crowley doesn’t want to the NSC job, but rather to be Melania’s speechwriter.

Kellyanne Conway complained today about Democrats calling for an independent bipartisan commission to investigate election allegations about Russa. “It’s curious and a little bit humorous that Democrats would talk about anything bipartisan … given how they have vowed to obstruct everything we do.”
Just wondering, where was Kellyanne’s outrage when Mitch McConnell in January 2009 vowed to make Obama a one-term president?

The convicted Charleston mass murderer (yes, I am deliberately not using his name), asked the judge in his death penalty trial not to allow the prosecution to use words like “evil.”
Uh, actually while the word is overused, seems like this is one of those times “evil” is completely appropriate.

Not so smooth sailing?

January 8, 2017

 

On the brighter side for #NYGiants they now have all the time in the world to plan more boat parties.

Four blowout wild-card football games this weekend remind us why baseball is the best sport. No matter how lopsided the score there is always a chance for a comeback.

The Miami Dolphins looked as overmatched against Ben Roethlisberger today as a co-ed in a bar. #Bustohell

Fired coach #SonnyDykes was 19-30 in four years at Cal.  19-30,   Sounds like a possible coaching upgrade for @49ers.

The 76ers have improved to 10-25, and Joel Embiid is talking about the playoffs -“I think we have a chance. We’ve been hot lately.”
Did they legalize marijuana in Pennsylvania and not tell us?

 

Amazing how many who insisted Obama was helped/influenced by foreign Muslims have no problem w/ Russia being helped/influenced by Russia.

To save time money & risk maybe television networks could pick  one joint pool person to report outside per major storm? “Yes, it’s raining/snowing hard” here.

Mariah Carey today said that on New Year’s eve she “was looking forward to a celebratory moment with the world. It’s a shame that we were put into the hands of a production team with technical issues who chose to capitalize on circumstances beyond our control.”
Four words Mariah, “Give it up already.”

On @FaceTheNation @CoryBooker very good in defending Obamacare but looked quite orange. Maybe makeup artist wanted him to look presidential.

 

Martin Shkreli has been suspended from Twitter for harassing woman journalist. What a shame that policy didn’t apply to candidates during the Presidential election.

Hugh Laurie tonight reminded us how much we miss House. Hugh Grant reminds us of what Prime Minister could say to US President #GoldenGlobes

 

If @CoryBooker is elected President in 2020 I would like to nominate #MerylStreep as Director of Communications or Press Secretary #GoldenGIobe

British PM Theresa May asked what she thought about Trump’ s pussy grabbing comments ‘as a woman’.
Her response “‘I think that’s unacceptable but I think Donald Trump himself has said that and has apologised for it.” And “the relationship the UK has with the US is about something much bigger than the relationship between the two individuals as president and prime minister…. it’s a relationship where we feel in the UK we can say to the US if we disagree with something.”
Right, and our President-Elect is so magnanimous in dealing with those who disagree with him. #passthepopcorn

More of the same.

January 8, 2017

Anyone but me thinking – if you don’t have a team or a bet in a particular game @NFL football has become pretty boring.

 

Today’s AFC wild-card winner moves on to play New England. So what’s the real difference between #Raiders & #Texans? About a week.

 

Wonder how many football fans started watching #OAKvsHOU wild-card game & switched over to watching replays of #RoseBowl. #notexactlypretty

Draymond Green after last night’s Warriors’ loss “I’m kind of thrilled that we lost because you usually make corrections when you lose.” If that’s true, the 76ers should be the most correct team in the NBA.

Happiest people in SF Bay Area after #Warriors late meltdown against #Grizzlies must be advertisers who bought future 4th quarter ads cheap.

 

The Limited just closed all their stores. Shocking! The Limited still had stores?

There’s a certain logic to GOP efforts to both repeal the ACA and slash social security. Without coverage fewer people live to collect decades of benefits.

 

In Benicia, California, police had an easy mid-afternoon arrest when an alleged drunk driver crashed her SUV – into a parked patrol car. Your move, Florida.

Democrats in the Senate led by Cory Booker are introducing a bill against a Muslim registry.  Doesn’t matter your religion or ethnicity. If they can register Muslims, they can register you.

Walter Shaub, director of the Office of Government Ethics, is now complaining that the GOP-controlled Senate has scheduled confirmation hearings too quickly for Trump’s cabinet nominees, and so the OGE is unlikely to complete their ethics reviews in time
.
Now had Congress only moved to gut the OGE at the same time as the Office of Congressional Ethics, guessing Trump wouldn’t have tweeted to complain

A CNN review found that Monica Crowley, who will serve as Trump’s senior director of strategic communications for the National Security Council,   plagiarized over 50 sections of her 2012 book ?What The (Bleep) Just Happened,” from many sources. #wearegoingtoneedabiggerswamp

More information regarding the alleged Ft. Lauderdale killer – According to the Anchorage police chief:: He was arrested & charged with criminal mischief after police received a call about a physical disturbance in Jan. 2016. He was arrested again in Feb after he violated an order to stay away from his girlfriend & their apartment. In March, police received another physical disturbance call, but “were not able to establish probable cause for an arrest” There was another DV call on Oct. 15, “but officers were told by a municipal prosecutor not to arrest him”, On Oct. 21, police received ANOTHER call accusing Santiago of strangulation, but could not establish probable cause for an arrest.

Then in November, he told the FBI the CIA was telling him to fight for ISIS.  THEN they took his gun. But they gave it back in December. The same one he allegedly used this week.

Remind me again about that well regulated militia?

 

 

Beyond muskets

January 7, 2017

Some say after a horrifying day like today at Ft. Lauderdale Airport is the wrong time to talk about the incredible reverence we have for gun rights in this country. But if not now, when?

As some call to add security around airport perimeters, important to remember, alleged gunman didn’t storm airport, he flew in as passenger.

 

Just guessing our founding fathers never imagined a world where it would be legal to check a gun AND ammunition on an airplane.

Meanwhile in North Carolina, an 11-year-old boy was showing his 6-year-old cousin the shotgun he got for Christmas. Police say the gun accidentally went off and the girl was fatally shot. #ifonlyshewasarmed

The average NCAA college football game last year was 3 hours and, 24 minutes. While most people, including colleges and conference commissioners think that’s too long, ESPN reports “the biggest challenge, however, is determining how to shorten the games.”
More specifically trying to get the games under 3 hours and still keep 90 minutes of commercials.

 

Atlanta Hawks GM Wes Wilcox apologized after joking at a season ticket holder meeting “I know you guys may be angry with me, but I’m used to it because I have a black wife and three mixed kids, so I’m used to people being angry and argumentative.”
Proving once again that money and power are no guarantee against #cantfixstupid

And with all the problems of the world today, even the Cleveland Cavaliers are not immune. Lebron James this morning “We got to get a point guard.”
#getouttheviolins

 

Wonder how many #Warriors & #Grizzlies fans turned off Friday night’s game after 3 quarters? To quote Julia Roberts in  Pretty Woman – “Mistake, big mistake.”

So Wikileaks has tweeted – “We are thinking of making an online database with all “verified” twitter accounts & their family/job/financial/housing relationships.”
What could possibly go wrong?

So Mexico will pay the U.S. back for the #GreatWall?” Is this the sort of planning that got all of those Trump companies into bankruptcy?

 

Trump doesn’t have time for intelligence briefings but he does have time to get involved in a state race for the head of the GOP in Ohio. He made personal phone calls and sent letters for a woman who supported him to unseat the current chair, a Kasich supporter who had been successful for the party but was lukewarm at best for Trump.
So good to see the President-Elect acting Presidential and above petty vindictiveness.

But yeah, Trump is so  focusing on the important issues facing our country.
Two tweets from this morning: “Wow, the ratings are in and Arnold Schwarzenegger got “swamped” (or destroyed) by comparison to the ratings machine, DJT. So much for….being a movie star-and that was season 1 compared to season 14. Now compare him to my season 1. But who cares, he supported Kasich & Hillary”
#WTF?

 

 

 

Cow town

January 6, 2017

Cowboys’ DE Randy Gregory has been suspended a year for another violation of the NFL’s substance abuse policy, his third suspension of the season. He will be eligible for the 2017 postseason.
It’s all part of the league’s “12 strikes and you’re out” policy..

Biggest problem w/ Dak Prescott is he makes it hard to hate Dallas Cowboys. Asked if he was staying in town for bye week – “Yes, Good try.”

In Texas, a newly elected prosecutor wore a Dallas Cowboys jersey during his swearing-in ceremony last Sunday.  Well, let’s hope he’s never on the case when one of the team is a defendant.

NFL television viewership dropped 8% this season from last, with the biggest drops Sunday and Monday nights. Roger Goodell said last month that the election was “certainly a factor.” Well, yes, that and maybe the fact that the league has a whole lot of really lousy teams?

 

Mariah Carey accused ABC of sabotaging her New Year’s Eve performances for ratings. But hey, for as much as she complains, how often have Americans been talking about a singer almost a week after the ball drops? #Nosuchthingasbadpublicity?

Love it. Now a govt study indicates that introducing children to foods with peanuts from infancy reduces the chance of an allergy by 81%. And that keeping babies and young children away from peanuts has probably resulted in many more allergies.
Sigh, now can they do another  study on babies and a little dirt?

 

New law in California makes it legal to have (one) free glass of wine or beer while in a barber shop or hair salon. So if you don’t love the way your hair looks, at least you don’t care so much.

Last week, reportedly Trump told Chuck Schumer that he liked him better than the GOP leaders in Congress. Today the President-elect tweeted “The Democrats, lead (sic) by head clown Chuck Schumer, know how bad ObamaCare is….”
Of course, the report could still be true, outside of his family, Trump may not really like anybody.

 

So regarding this swamp, when is the President-Elect going to start selling Trump-branded wading boots. Really HIGH wading boots?

Florida AG Pam Bondi, who dropped her nvestigation into Trump U after Donald Trump gave her campaign $25K, is getting White House post. #Refilltheswamp

Joe Biden to Donald Trump “Grow up, Donald. Grow up. Time to be an adult.”
Three words – “Pass the popcorn.”

Paul Ryan says GOP will strip #PlannedParenthood federal funding. Which of course will result in need for MORE abortions. #Prolifemyass

Serious snow storms forecasted this weekend for Alabama, Georgia & Carolinas. Cue the “Trump to be President” & “hell freezes over” jokes.

Fresh start?

January 4, 2017

Fox Sports reports that Chip Kelly, fired by SF 49ers Sunday, he wants to remain in professional football. So Chip is open to joining a team in the SEC?

 

Odell Beckham Jr. loves to complain about being singled out by officials. Well, I’m sure all those pictures of him and teammates on a party boat with apparent drugs all around,  and some of them apparently smoking joints, won’t prejudice anyone against him in this weekend’s playoffs.

OBJ recently said that “even Steve Wonder could have seen”  the missed calls.  Uh, even Stevie Wonder could have seen that posting pictures of the party was a bad idea.

Duke’s Grayson Allen started tonight after his “indefinite” suspension became one game. Well, if he were a college football star it might have been 1 quarter.

Rob Schneider just tweeted “I will put together a consortium of buyers. Please sell me the 49ers,”
So does Schneider hope to make the 49ers great again, or is he planning to use them for a long-running comedy series?

Macy’s is closing 68 stores and cutting 10,000 jobs. #IblameTrump

 

Police say a man in a town outside Frankfurt opened his front door Monday night and found that someone had built a brick wall in his doorway overnight. The wall had to be torn down for him to get out.
Wonder if the guy spent Sunday drinking Amontillado.

 

Whole Foods has a coupon in local paper for $5 off $20 in produce. That’s probably enough of a discount to get a whole extra apple.

Wonder what will happen when #Assange & #Wikileaks go after Trump administration: “It’s my nature.” #Scorpionandthefrog

Now Pence says “1st order of business is to repeal & replace #Obamacare. Replace w/ what? That great healthcare plan GOP had before Obama?

Now @realDonaldTrump picked Wall Street lawyer for head of SEC. Yet another big new alligator who will need to find room in the swamp.

Haven’t heard GOP saying it’s an outrage that Charles Manson is entitled to healthcare while law-abiding Americans are not. Because they don’t believe the latter?

 

“We have two choices: some guy living in an embassy on the run from the law…who has a history of undermining American democracy and releasing classified information to put our troops at risk, or the 17 intelligence agencies sworn to defend us. I’m going with them.”
Quote from that noted commie-pinko liberal Lindsey Graham.

Clowning around

January 4, 2017

 

Someone changed name of #Browns training facility on Google Maps to “Cleveland Clowns.” Prompting demands for an apology, from real clowns

 

But okay friends and readers, since someone went on Google Maps to put the name “Cleveland Clowns” on the Browns training facility, surely bright minds in California can come up with a equally creative map “fix” for the San Francisco 49ers corporate offices.

In a Thai National Park a French tourist who spotted a crocodile reportedly ignored warning signs and went off the trail to take a selfie with it. She is recovering in a local hospital with a leg bite. Another Darwin “missed it by THAT much.”

Last Sunday, a baggage handler for United Express ended up flying from Charlotte to Washington-Dulles accidentally locked inside the plane’s cargo hold,
Well, guess we know the answer to the question -what’s the next low fare option for United after “basic economy” fares?

Brent Musberger last night on Joe Mixon, who was seen on video hitting a woman and fracturing her face “He’s just one of the best, and let’s hope, given a second chance by Bob Stoops and Oklahoma, let’s hope this young man makes the most of his chance and goes on to have a career in the National Football League,”

Actually makes you long for the days when Brent was just ogling the Alabama QB’s girlfriend..

 

ESPN reports that a 32-year-old Starbucks barista won more than $900,000 in the Westgate Las Vegas SuperContest, the world’s most prestigious football handicapping contest.
Shouldn’t that report say “a FORMER Starbucks barista?”

Starbucks barista won over $900,000 in Westgate Las Vegas football handicapping SuperContest. Now he can at least afford his own coffee.

Last week McDonald’s opened a new location on the ground floor of a building owned by the Vatican, around the corner from St. Peters. Perfect for those who want to cheat on their diets and confess at the same time?

In Roane County, WV, a man who was just elected sheriff in November was arrested on his 3rd day on the job, allegedly for stealing meth from the evidence locker. West Virginia?! Time to catch up, Florida.

Three months after the robbery in Paris, Kim Kardashian West has officially returned to social media with a post on Instagram #Ourlongnationalnightmareisover #sarcasm

Megyn Kelly announced she is leaving Fox News. So congrats to all those who had January 3 in the pool.

House Republicans this morning dropped their plan from last night to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics. Who’s in on the pool with me as to when they reintroduce it?

The National Enquirer headline in checkout aisle touts “proof” that Obama was born in Kenya, and says “Trump already bringing dignity back to the White House.”
Standby for Trump tweeting that the Enquirer should be the US paper of record.

Julian Assange denied again that the Russian government was the source of Wikileaks’ hacked emails from the DNC and John Podesta. And why should we doubt the man who denounced censorship on the Kremlin’s “Russia Today” channel?

 

from Bill Littlejohn: “The Golf Channel honored Tiger Woods on his birthday Friday by airing a 15-hour marathon that chronicled his major championship highlights from the 1997 Masters to the 2008 U.S. Open, plus features on his life. In that case, shouldn’t there have been a couple of episodes from ‘Law and Order SVU’ thrown in?” . . .