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Schooled?

September 13, 2019

So Tim Tebow thinks college athletes shouldn’t be paid because “I didn’t make a dollar from it and nor did I want to because I knew going into college what it was all about.”
Pretty rich coming from a kid whose parents could not only afford to home-school him even though he played football at a local Christian Academy but also MOVED (while still home-schooling him) so he was in the district for a public high school who would let him play QB.

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University of Alabama is using an app to track students when they arrive and leave home football games. The app will give them 100 points for showing up, and 250 more points for staying through the 4th quarter. Students can then use points  for priority access to future games…  Gosh if only there were only such an an app to track football players going to class?

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Didn’t we all have Shaun Anderson as the SF Giants potential closer of the future?

(For what it’s worth, Buster Posey was a closer at Florida State.)

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After Beto O’Rourke said yes, he would go after assault weapons, GOP Texas state legislator Briscoe Cain tweeted out
“My AR is ready for you Robert Francis,”
At times like this I really miss Molly Ivins.

 

Btw, not only was Felicity Hoffman’s 14-day sentence an example of White Privilege but also does anyone really think her husband William Macy had no idea what was going on?

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RIP Eddie Money…. Will he show up at the pearly gates with an extra ticket to Paradise?

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Trump complains LED light bulbs make him “look orange.”
So no wonder Donald is against solar energy. The sun makes him look orange too.

 

 

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Trump is coming to Northern California for an expensive fundraiser in Atherton.
Now, here’s a question, GOP gets so upset if anyone releases names of attendees of this kind of thing – shouldn’t anyone donating big $$$ to a President they clearly admire be proud to share that publicly?

(and putting my money where my mouth is, while I am not a big donor, in the last Presidential elections I have donated to Howard Dean,  Barack Obama, and in these primaries Cory Booker and Amy Klobuchar.   It’s public record, but have nothing to hide.)

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Dropping the balls?

September 12, 2019

Reports are that NFL prefers to move ‘quickly’ on whether or not to suspend Antonio Brown. Of course, so he can be ready to rejoin Patriots for the playoffs.

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USA lost again in FIBA World Cup – Of the 35 players originally selected for the U.S. player pool, only four are playing in China.
So we’ve actually found something many NBA star players care less about than the regular season?

 

Justin Verlander now has 2981 strikeouts in his career. Asked about reaching 3,000 strikeouts this season: “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know where I was at. It’s kind of on the back burner, I guess. I’m aware of it. I try not to focus on it too much, but it’d be pretty cool to get to it this year, for sure.”
Bonus points for not saying “Really, I had no clue. I’m just trying to help the team.”

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Sam Darnold has mono and the Jets can kiss off their season.

 

US Customs and Border patrol is now giving 1 year extensions of their Global Entry trusted traveler program for members who renew, because they are so backlogged due in part to the “ripple effect of partial government shutdown and the response to the southwest border.”
Do we feel safer?

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Maybe we’re going about this gun control thing all wrong. Maybe actually to get something done by Trump White House we just need Barack Obama to post a picture of himself with an AR-15.

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Andrew Yang was complaining that tonight’s debate was badly scheduled for football fans. Right about now voters in North Carolina who watched Panthers-Bucs are probably wishing they’d watched debate instead.

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This may p*ss some Democrats off. But watching those 10 on stage tonight made me think there’s a good President (and VP) among them. And that we don’t need any other candidates.

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Because the way for Joe Biden to say he wasn’t old was to talk about a record player?  

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Amy Kobluchar  “Bernie wrote the bill, I read the bill.”

Writing?  Reading? Waiting for Trump to call them elitist.

 

 

 

Meanwhile Trump in Baltimore “earlier today, my administration formally repealed the horrible, dangerous, anti-everything waters of the United States rule.”
And “Let’s say the history of our country over the last 25 years. I would say they probably had cleaner water, cleaner air because there was nobody here.”
#VoteBlueNoMatterWho2020

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Copy not right?

September 11, 2019

LeBron James has been denied in his attempt to trademark the term “Taco Tuesday.” Gosh, I hope he’ll still be able to feed his family.

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Ohio State’s application to trademark “The” has been denied. Well, even Notre Dame thought “The” idea was ridiculously egocentric.

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ESPN reports ex-Arizona assistant men’s basketball coach “Book” Richardson told undercover FBI agents that he paid $40,000 to a high school coach to make sure Rawle Alkins was academically eligible.
Can’t wait to see how hard NCAA slaps the Wildcats on the wrist for this one.

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So Bob Baffert apparently got caught using a PED with #Justify and officials covered up the failed drug test. The real question, how many more times did he not get caught?

 

Regulators say they decided to drop inquiry on Justify after the Triple Crown with the reasoning that the colt’s positive PED could have come from eating contaminated food. A whole lot of ballplayers are going “Why didn’t I think of that?”

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Guessing more Americans might be upset that Team USA lost in FIBA basketball tournament if most Americans cared about any international tournament except the Olympics.

(and under “most Americans” – include all the NBA players who bailed.)

 

Fox News is all over one set of  parents of one 9-11 victim criticizing Rep. Omar for using the words “some people did something.” But I must have missed their even more scathing reaction to the idea of inviting the Taliban to Camp David the week of 9-11.

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Trump said today that US Food and Drug Administration would be putting out “some very strong recommendations” regarding the use of flavored e-cigarettes in “a couple of weeks.
Possible translation, he’s going to wait for Mitch McConnell to tell him how to exempt Kentucky companies?

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Trump talking about Melania wanting a flavored-tobacco vaping ban “That’s how the First Lady involved. She’s got a son — together — that’s a beautiful young man, & she feels very very strongly about it.” So is Barron the new Tiffany?

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Don’t get me wrong, good to see John Bolton gone. But T.S. Eliot was right “The last temptation is the greatest treason. To do the right thing, for the wrong reason.”

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Saints be praised.

September 10, 2019

Yeah, it’s only a game. But as I tell people… even when you watch a thrilling movie or TV show, or read a book, many people already know the outcome. And even when you think a game is over….twice…that’s not true in sports.

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Did Drew Brees get 10 years younger in the 2nd half?

 

In the end it didn’t matter, but officials admitted later they had taken 15 seconds too many off the clock as Saints tried at end of of first half. So NFL referees at least were already in midseason form.

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Just one night, but Raiders looked like they missed Antonio Brown like a fish misses a bicycle.

 

A report in The Atlantic says that Trump, less than thrilled with Jared, has complained that Ivanka could have married QB Tom Brady instead. Well, as much as I am not fond of Patriots it WOULD have been less damaging to the country.

 

Shortly after winning  U.S. Open Sunday, Canadian tennis star Bianca Andreescu actually apologized for winning, acknowledging that the U.S. crowd would have preferred to see Serena Williams triumph.  Is this the most Canadian sports story ever?

 

Sarah and Todd Palin are divorcing. Look, it’s never a happy thing when a marriage breaks up. But for all GOP family values BS, note that the Obamas and Clintons are both on their first marriages.

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If Wilbur Ross was ordered to fire people who contradicted POTUS about Dorian heading for Alabama, what does Donald do with people who contradict him on SERIOUS issues?

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Trump defended his decision to remove Bahamian men, women and children, who had passports but not visas,  from ferries this weekend on their way to the US after Hurricane Dorian.  He said they could be “some very bad people, very bad gang members & very, very bad drug dealers.”

Uh, except United States policy says  “Bahamians can enter U.S. w/o visa by providing passport & proof of no criminal record.

 

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Donald Trump said today he would release an “extremely complete” report on his personal finances before 2020 election. Will it include details on that Trump ice rink he is building in hell?

 

The National Rifle Association is suing San Francisco and SF Board of Supervisors for passing a resolution declaring them a domestic terrorist organization. The lawsuit says SF could hurt NRA’s business relationships and is “interfering” in their exercise of rights.
On the other hand, after Gilroy, El Paso, Dayton, Odessa’s etc, there are many people who might speak in support of San Francisco’s resolution, except they are now, like, you know, dead.

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Hard headed?

September 5, 2019

Antonio Brown may have solved his helmet problem, and now he’s apparently getting suspended by Oakland.  Who had “before the season started? in the pool.

 

Wait, the Steelers actually got two draft picks in exchange for the Raiders taking Antonio Brown off their hands?

 

After blowing a 6 run lead in the 9th, ESPN headline “Mets bullpen bounces back” in an 8-4 win today against Nationals.
Or is it possible Washington hitters were just exhausted?

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Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and that the SF Giants should never pitch to Paul Goldschmidt.

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Mayor de Blasio says he may drop out of presidential race in October. WTF? Forget eating pizza with a fork, when has a true New Yorker waited a month for ANYTHING?

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So let me get this straight, “Moscow Mitch” says he won’t allow a vote on gun control unless “the President” backs a bill.
But when the last President chose and backed a Supreme Court nominee, he wouldn’t allow a vote either.
Hypocrisy much?

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GOP Congressman Dan Crenshaw complains “With universal background checks, I wouldn’t be able to let my friends borrow my handgun.”  Some statements don’t even need a punchline.

But hey, so does Crenshaw loan his car to friends too?  Whether or not they have a license?

 

 

Imagine if after saying he’d campaigned in all 57 states, Barack Obama had insisted on showing us doctored maps showing there really were 57 states.

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Did Donald Trump think he wouldn’t be caught altering the National Weather Service hurricane map?
Well, he’s not the Sharpie-est tool in the box.

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Fox White House reporter John Roberts on Trump’s efforts to justify his Alabama hurricane mistake – “You can see somebody with a Sharpie or some other writing instruments, added a little bit to the cone of uncertainty, which was not a part of the official forecast.””

Uh oh, someone is not going to be happy with State TV.

 

 

So who had the National Weather Service in Trump insult bingo?

 

So how long until Trump issues a White House invitation for Alabama hurricane survivors?

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High and dry?

September 3, 2019

Florida State coach Willie Taggart says he thinks his team might have lost in part to Boise State because they weren’t properly hydrated.
If only the game was in a state where they invented Gatorade?

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After weeks of drama, Ezekiel Elliott’s agent says a deal with his client and the Cowboys is ‘very close.”

I really don’t care, do u?

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SF Giants have mostly played their way out of Wild Card race.  And Tuesday 1-0 loss was rough on fans.    On the other hand, not as rough as Mets blowing a 10-4 lead in the 9th.

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Last year’s SF Giants were near the wild card race until September too, when Pablo Sandoval also ended up out for the year.  #Coincidence?

 

Travel rant. Do you know how hard it is in a small country like Ireland to be 180 miles from Dublin?
Mike Pence managed to do it, by staying at Trump’s money-losing resort at taxpayer expense. And also at taxpayer expense flying back and forth from the West Coast of the country to the East Coast.
Seriously, LIVERPOOL, England is about 20 miles closer by air to Dublin than Doonbeg.

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Pence’s Chief of Staff said, Trump said “‘Well, you should stay at my place.’ ”

“It wasn’t like a, ‘You must.’ It wasn’t like, ‘You have to…”

Right because who would feel pressured at all when replacing your boss on a business when they “suggest” you do something?

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Latest mass shooter in Odessa apparently failed a federal background check, but got his weapon in a “private sale.”
Now, imagine if US said  (just for one example), “To save lives, we’re now going to regulate opioids more carefully, but hey, if you buy them privately get as many as you want.”

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Kroger announced they will no longer allow open-carry in stores. What a shame for all those who felt they absolutely needed to be armed to get the best peaches.

And PSA for those who don’t live near a Kroger.  “Our longstanding policy is that firearms are not permitted in our stores – with the exception of law enforcement personnel. Safeway/Albertsons does not permit weapons of any kind in our stores.”

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Rough niht?

August 31, 2019

fiht

And this is the school so many rich people paid big bucks to bribe their children’s way into…?

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Meanwhile, Northwestern played Stanford in the Nerd Bowl.  Wonder if officials were ever tempted to say it was 3rd and 3.14159.

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If Oregon hadn’t choked away tonight’s matchup with Auburn, SEC would have lost five games in one day…. Just saying.

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Baseball in 2019. Minnesota Twins hit six home runs in one game….and LOSE 10-7. If the ball were any more juiced it would be sponsored by Minute Maid.

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Lebron James is trying to trademark “Taco Tuesday.”    Because he’s the only one who thought of it?  Other than almost every Mexican food chain and taqueria in the country?  WTF?

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Many of us have different choices in next year’s election. Can we all agree that any fundraising email marked “urgent” triggers the “delete” button?

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What customs officials originally thought was a “huge drugs bust” at Gatwick Airport in London turned out to be vegan cake mix.

Now, some vegan cakes are criminally bad…but yeah, this did seem like overkill.

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The first person shot by today’s mass killer was a police officer during a attempted traffic stop. But tell me again how arming kindergarten teachers will keep our children safe?

 

Guess the optics weren’t good for Trump to spend weekend at Bedminster with Dorian approaching so he sneaked off to golf from Camp David.
Sunday morning will Donald have a moment of silence for Odessa victims on the first tee?

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Trump had a meltdown today about “Disgusting and foul mouthed Omarosa.” So why doesn’t he fire the idiot who hired her?
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Trump RTs a lot of stuff on Dorian, including a Red Cross tweet praising military spouses who volunteer. This at the same time he denies citizenship to military children born overseas AND deports military spouses. He has no shame. There is no bottom.

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Actually keeping score?

August 29, 2019

Ok. I get that some people think I’m a little obsessed to be stressed about Democratic Presidential primaries this early. And yet there are folks who are seriously stressed about the scores of week 4 pre-season NFL football.

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With back-to-back home runs today, Minnesota Twins broke the major league record season for most home runs on the road. which was 138. And there’s a full month left in the season.
But sure, Barry Bonds is the one whose home run total should have an asterisk…

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At least for remainder of season can 2019 SF Giants officially retire the term “home field advantage?

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Two weeks after Chris Davis had a dugout confrontation with manager Brandon Hyde, Orioles reliever Richard Bleier and 3rd-base coach Jose David Flores also ended up in a public shouting match in the dugout.
Baltimore fans just wish the team would show that much energy on the field.

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Alex Trebek is back at work taping the new season of “Jeopardy!,” five months after being diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

“What is really good news?”

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Travel rant.  Austrian Airlines and Lufthansa are offering a scheduled LEGAL connection between a Vienna to Frankfurt flight and a Frankfurt to San Francisco flight that is 45 minutes!?!
So will transfer assistance be provided by flying pig?

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The latest wannabe mass shooter at High Point University told police he was trying to get into a fraternity and that “if his roommate got into a fraternity and he didn’t, he had a plan to kill his roommate and himself.”
But no, we don’t have an epidemic of white male privilege.

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Interesting timing. Trump wants G7 at Mar-a-Lago and mean bitch Karma along with Mother Nature remind him. “Dude, it’s hurricane season.”

 

Well, since most bugs can’t swim Hurricane Dorian might take care of the Doral bed bug problem.

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Trump today canceled his trip to Poland.   Guess it’s just as well Trump had already canceled Danish part of European trip. Does anyone think Mother Pence would have let Mike have dinner with the very attractive Danish Prime Minister?

 

 

Does anyone think Trump would have canceled his trip if he were scheduled to go to Buckingham Palace? Or to one of his rallies?  Or to one of his golf resorts?

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Slower than a speeding bullet

August 27, 2019

Submarine pitcher Tyler Rogers made his major league debut at Oracle Park Tuesday night, pitching a 1-2-3 inning with most pitches in the 70s (MPH)   So who needs a 95 MPH fastball.

submarine

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Rob Gronkowski “Football was bringing me down.”
So does this make him an honorary Redskins fan?

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Fox Sports reporting that an unnamed NFL team reached out to Carli Lloyd with an offer to play in a preseason game this week.
Not sure if Carli will play in a real game, but guessing she won’t double-doink the ball off the crossbars

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Love it. Young 20-somethings on train who work for some big company near Palo Alto are complaining about their employer and whining that bosses act like their parents. Uh…

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Your reminder that Senator Tom Cotton, who is pushing so hard to buy Greenland, voted AGAINST hurricane relief for Puerto Rico.

 

William Barr is planning a $30,000 private holiday party at the Trump hotel in DC.  Now, I know many Americans may not understand the details of the emoluments clause. But you would think the US attorney would.

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New Orleans is the most liberal part of Louisiana. So you just KNOW if Katrina happened on Trump’s watch he’d have complained about sending them money too.

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Trump now whining about Puerto Rico and $$$ “Wow! Yet another big storm heading to Puerto Rico. Will it ever end?”

Has anyone told him Greenland is an island too?

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After Trump’s heartless “will it ever end” tweet about Dorian approaching Puerto Rico, a new model shows center of storm could end up near West Palm Beach.
Is it possible mean bitch karma and Mother Nature are looking together at a map showing Mar-A-Lago?

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Trump tweet also refers to his failing Trump Doral National MIAMI resort as “perfectly located (for the next G-7).”
“Perfectly located?” For a summer meeting? Heck, Donald doesn’t even go to his beloved Mar-A-Lago in summer.

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And finally look, been in the travel industry for decades. If a hotel has a major PR disaster the way to get past it is apologize profusely, offer to make it up to guests affected, and say what you are doing or have done to fix the problem. Whether it’s a racist staff member, something like Legionnaire’s disease, or bedbugs,
What you do NOT do is deny the problem ever happened and accuse your accusers. #CantFixStupid
#TrumpBedBugs

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Deflated balls?

August 26, 2019

A Harvard study found that former American football players who suffered concussions are more likely to develop low testosterone levels and erectile dysfunction in later life.  Forget CTE, this might be what finally kills pro football.

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After Houston talk show host Rick Kamla yesterday called Andrew Luck, who went to high school in the area, a “quitter” and a “joke” in a tweet, today he apologized and said he used a “terrible choice of words.”
Translation, Luck retired, I don’t want to be fired.

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Anyone but me not only a sports fan but also REALLY don’t care about Antonio Brown and his helmet?

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Chiefs sign Matt Moore, who retired after 2017 season, as a backup QB after Chad Henne broke his ankle.
Now, I’ve never been a huge Kaepernick fan, especially since he says it’s not worth voting, but who’s going to get signed next before him? Brett Favre, Tim Tebow?

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This Sunday there were three malls, including the Great Mall in Milpitas, California, with shooting scares.  But aside from how terrifying these episodes are, how long until millions of Americans just decide they feel safer only doing online shopping? As if retail isn’t hurting enough.

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Former Maricopa county Sheriff Joe Arpaio was convicted for criminal contempt of court over a racial profiling case and pardoned by Trump in 2017. How he’s running again for Sheriff in 2020.
Even Mississippi and Florida are going “How nuts does he think Arizona voters are?”

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Trump this morning claimed Melania has “gotten to know” North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. So another useless lie? Or is he confusing Melania and Ivanka. #WishfulThinking

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Trump today, claiming he’s an “environmentalist. “I want clean air. I want clean water. “I want a wealthy country. I want a spectacular country, with jobs, with pensions…and that’s what we’re getting.”
Yeah, when I was about five I wanted a flying pony.

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Can anyone imagine how apoplectic GOP would have been if Obama even proposed having G7 in Hawaii because it was close to where he grew up? Let alone at a place he owned.

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Another thought about 2020 G7. They are held generally in the summer. Having graduated from Lake Brantley High school near Orlando, outdoors in early June, I can attest that even at 7a no human being wants to be in Florida that time of year

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So Trump feels the need to deny that he asked about nuking hurricanes but not that he says windmills cause cancer?

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Without a little bit of Luck

August 25, 2019

Colts fans must feel as shocked and betrayed as if someone stole their team in the middle of the night.

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Wonder how many fans in Indianapolis who booed Andrew Luck as a coward for retiring would cheer if the Colts signed Colin Kaepernick in his place.

 

But yes, your reminder, Colin Kaepernick is still available.

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Pablo Sandoval to have Tommy John surgery. Wonder if he’ll recover in time to pitch next season.

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Patriots TE Lance Kendricks now joins Benjamin Watson on the suspended list, and safety Patrick Chung has been arrested on a cocaine charge. Gosh, whoever thought Bill Belichick would have so many players doing something illegal?

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Tennessee Volunteers sophomore CB Bryce Thompson arrested for misdemeanor domestic assault after he allegedly threatened to “slap the s— out of” a woman and to “shoot up the school.”
Since Thompson was a Freshman All-American and led the team in interceptions last year, how long until someone decides he’s a nice kid who deserves a second chance?

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Meanwhile, NCAA has put Mississippi State football on probation for academic cheating. Well, good to know they’ve punished the only problem school in the SEC.

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With about 5 weeks left in MLB season, Baltimore GM Mike Elias has fired 11 people in front office and scouting department. He says it’s “to provide those who lost their jobs a jump at getting back into the market.”
Because don’t all other teams want to snatch up talent from the Orioles?

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On Trump tariffs, “This is not the way to proceed. Apart from everything else, those who support the tariffs are at risk of incurring the blame for the downturn in the global economy, irrespective of whether or not that is true.”
This sentence from that noted voice of reason Boris Johnson!!??

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Trump at G7  “The question I was asked most today by fellow World Leaders, who think the USA is doing so well and is stronger than ever before, happens to be, “Mr. President, why does the American media hate your Country so much? Why are they rooting for it to fail?””
Uh, would he like to name ONE of those world leaders?

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How long until Trump claims the Amazon rainforest fires are the fault of Jeff Bezos?

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Joe Walsh says he will primary Donald Trump in 2020.  Let me be very clear, I agree with Joe Walsh on very little, and disagree with him strongly on guns and a woman’s right to choose.
But I believe he is a sane person who loves this country. And cannot say the same about Trump.

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Tying knots

August 24, 2019

Olympic gold medal skier Lindsey Vonn and current NHL star P.K. Subban are getting married. Do we call this yet another missed cut for Tiger Woods?

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Dwight Howard has signed with Los Angeles Lakers, and ESPN reports they have told him “Disrupt this team — and you’ll be gone.”
Over-under on how long he’ll last?

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Team USA just lost to Australia in basketball. Can we blame Trump?

Miami 19, Philadelphia 11. Wait, I know the Raiders and Panthers played in Winnipeg, but I thought Marlins Park was baseball only.

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So the real question at G7 France – Who will Trump insult first?

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Seth Moulton has dropped out of the Presidential Race. All together now “Who?”

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Amazing how same people who insist the most left-wing members of Congress are the “face of the Democratic party,” somehow don’t make the same statement about Steve King being the face of the GOP.

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Got to love it, the Stable Genius is tweeting that “Our great American companies are hereby ordered to immediately start looking for an alternative to China…”
And he’s tweeting from a iPhone!

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Meanwhile, I am getting regular fundraising emails from Bernie Sanders whose campaign seems to think I want a Bernie baseball card or baseball shirt. Uh, yeah, I’m “Vote Blue No Matter Who 2020” but otherwise….I’d ALMOST rather wear a Dodger shirt. Sorry.

 

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Jean Cramer, a Marysville, Michigan city council candidate, said she wants to keep the town “as white as possible,” and added a “husband and wife need to be the same race. Same thing with kids. That’s how it’s been from the beginning of, how can I say, when God created the heaven and the earth. He created Adam and Eve at the same time.”
Uh if that’s literally true then ALL kids are descended from their children and thus products of incest. #WTF?
(and actually, there are no pictures of Adam nor Eve…. who’s to say they were the same race? A creator can go for diversity too.)

 

Finally, Limerick Time. Because, why not?
There once was a President Trump
Who expected the whole world to jump.
For his thoughts that were bad,
and really quite sad.
Which he tweeted while taking a dump.

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Outta here

August 21, 2019

Baltimore Orioles just tied record of 258 for most home runs allowed in season, set by 2016 Cincinnati Reds who play at the Little League field known as “Great American Ballpark.” Mariners, Angels, Yankees, and Phillies are all on pace to break the record too.
But no, the ball isn’t juiced.

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How juiced is the 2019 MLB baseball? If Duane Kuiper were playing now he’d have hit TWO home runs.

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Houston Astros were one of the largest favorites in MLB game ever when Justin Verlander took mound against the Detroit Tigers tonight.

And they lost 2-1.  They also lost in extra innings as huge favorites to the Orioles recently.. And then wonder what the odds were when Verlander started WS Game 1 in 2012 against SF Giants and Barry Zito?

Maybe the Houston should beg Vegas to make them longshots to win the World Series?

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Sean Spicer on #DWTS? Because he has so much experience Dancing with the Truth?

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I’m so old that I remember when Ted Cruz falsely claimed in his Presidential campaign that he “had a president in the White House who has a messiah complex.”
And now that we have one who actually DOES…..?

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If Alec Baldwin on SNL as Trump described himself as “King of Israel,” many Republicans would complain the show had gone too far.
Yet Trump does it for real and GOP just shrugs.

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Trump this morning referred to PM of Denmark as “nasty,” to himself as “King of Israel” and also “the chosen one.”
At this point beginning to think that anyone who doesn’t think he’s pathological is themselves pathological.

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So where are all those in GOP who lost their collective sh*t over Obama’s executive orders now that Trump says he’s “very seriously” looking at trying to change the Constitution by executive order to eliminate birthright citizenship?
Asking for a country.

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The man who referred to Mayor of London as a “stone cold loser,” Justin Trudeau as “dishonest and weak, and to Africa as having “shithole countries” now responds to Danish PM’s saying his proposal to buy Greenland is “absurd” by calling her “nasty.”
Are we great yet?

 

So if Governor Gavin Newsom calls Trump “absurd” does that mean that Donald will call off all future trips to California? Oh please oh please…

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Ch-ch-ch-choices…..

April 26, 2018

Has any team after day 1 of NFL Draft ever said “Well, guy we picked was our 4th or 5th choice, but the SOBs above us nabbed all the guys we really wanted”?

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NFL Draft.  When many young men will have their dreams come true. Including those who breathed a sigh of relief “Well, at least I didn’t get drafted by the Cleveland Browns.”

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NY Jets fans seem very happy with Sam Darnold And why not, because USC QBs have done so well lately in the NFL….. #sarcasm

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San Jose Sharks could have found a better way to distract from #NFLdraft than to lose by a 7-0 football score.

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NBA admits last night they missed goaltending on LeBron James at end of Cavs-Pacers game 5. Silly league. Don’t they know superstars NEVER goaltend? Or travel for that matter.

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Despite joking about bomb at LAX, Packers WR Trevor Davis will not face charges after meeting with LA City Attorney. Did Davis claim he didn’t know any better since he’s a Cal grad? @StanfordFootball

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Well so much for Donald Trump’s plan to nominate as Secretary of VA, Dr. Cliff Huxtable.

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So will O.J. Simpson offer to help Bill Cosby find the real rapist.

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So House Speaker Ryan fired House chaplain for criticizing tax cuts? I’m so old that I remember when Paul Ryan was a “compassionate conservative.”

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So when’s the duet coming out with Kanye West and Shania Twain?

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When Trump visits England in July he may skip London to avoid unpleasant protests. Right, the man who believes he would rush a shooter is afraid of unarmed Brits with placards. #CadetBoneSpurs

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Rand Paul saying he opposes Gina Haspel’s nomination to lead the CIA over her use of torture. Time to open up the pool on when Paul will say he’s decided to support her. #invertebrate

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Trump said maybe he didn’t get Melania “so much” for her birthday. “I got her a beautiful card.” Not perhaps the gift she really wanted – divorce papers?

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Trump on  Fox and Friends – Cohen was one of his “many attorneys. He represents me like with this crazy Stormy Daniels deal.”
Can’t imagine why White House doesn’t want him to sit down with Mueller.

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That moment when POTUS is even too crazy for  Fox and Friends….

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Trump tweeted  he “Loved being on @foxandfriends this morning. Great show!”
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Maybe not as much as Democrats liked it.

 

Congressman Steve King proposed legislation to keep CNN from paying airports to be on televisions in terminals. Well, not like GOP is about free markets or anything….

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The bigliest dogs?

April 14, 2018

(and yeah, this post is out of order. Can we blame Trump?)

 

QB Mark Sanchez suspended 1st four games of 2018 NFL season for Performance Enhancing Drug use. Well, whatever he took, it didn’t work.

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Sebastian Janikowski, 40 has signed with Seattle Seahawks. Wonder if Adam Vinatieri texted him “Good luck, young man.”

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Let’s be real, if Colin Kaepernick was as much of a star now as Reuben Foster he could kneel AND be charged with felony domestic violence and still have a job.

Dez Bryant story today illustrates a sports-truism – you can be an a**hole, only as long as you’re a super-star a**hole. #Cowboys

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Derek Jeter won’t attend Marlins games in NY, saying “it would be an awkward situation for me to actually go to Yankee Stadium.” Because he’s no longer in pinstripes,  or because Giancarlo Stanton is hitting .220 with 25 strikeouts?

 

So sad about #HueyLewis losing his hearing and canceling concerts. But these days kind of a relief to see him trending & finding out it’s not for sexual harrassment or dying.

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Mueller apparently has found out that despite his disavowals,   Michael Cohen actually WAS in Prague in 2016.  Czech mate?

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What Scooter Libby did in exposing Valerie Plame was treason. It endangered her life. But hey, Trump needed to signal – there is no floor on “how low can you go?”

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Now that RNC deputy finance chair has resigned over $1.6 million nondisclosure deal for Playboy model he got pregnant, got to wonder, what other biglier deals did Michael Cohen arrange for Trump?

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For a man who hates pets Trump sure wagged a really big dog.

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I really miss when Friday nights were a relaxing time and a slow news cycle.

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If Trump bombs Syria to distract from the Cohen Prague story what is he going to do when someone finally releases the pee tape?

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Brian Williams accidentally refers to Trump as Obama in discussing Syria bombing. Standby for Fox News citing this as proof to blame everything on Obama.

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At what point does Putin think “Damn we should have just let Hillary win?'”

 

So let this be a lesson to other countries. You can use chemical weapons on your citizens if you want, but don’t do it when US President is worried about impeachment. #Syria

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Keeping Pace?

April 5, 2018

Okay, who had the Pacers being the only NBA team to sweep the Warriors this season?
(And I bet all you liars had UMBC over UVA too.)

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Millions of Americans were watching the Masters when it was interrupted by a movie clip from Tin Cup  #SergioGarcia

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Tiger Woods, after an opening round 73 left him tied for 29th at #TheMasters , said “I’m back in this championship.” Well, at least he’s back into having a good chance of playing after tomorrow.

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Kyrie Irving is out for rest of NBA season and playoffs. And with Celtics at #2, that Eastern Conference #7 seed just got a lot more appealing.

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Mid 30’s today at game time for #Twins home opener in Minneapolis today against #Mariners. Wow. That’s almost as cold as it was at Candlestick.

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Now Texans owner Bob McNair, who apologized for saying of NFL players “We can’t have the inmates running the prison” says he’s taking back the apology because he’s not sorry he said it. The best people….. #WTF?

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YouTube shooter bought her weapon in January; under California law she was limited to purchasing 10-round magazine. Imagine if YouTube was headquartered in Texas.

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So if border crossings are at a 46 year low, why do we need an expensive wall? Asking for a country.

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A Navy chaplain was fired after video showed him having sex with a woman at a New Orleans pub. Well, the post of White House Chaplain IS open….

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I really would have loved to be in law school class where they taught if your client is accused by a random porn star just pay the woman $130,000 of your own money but don’t tell the client.

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Trump’s latest lying rant – “In many places the same person in California votes many times.” Uh, if Dems were smart, and evil, enough to do that, wouldn’t you think they’d have had those multiple voters in swing states?

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Maybe if someone had tried to convince @realDonaldTrump that immigrants were trying to sneak into Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria he would have rushed and kept the National Guard there?

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Scott Pruitt is proving to have been so brazen and corrupt, Trump can’t decide whether to fire him or adopt him.

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So some of the same conservatives who defended Kevin Williamson seriously saying he would hang women who had abortions are flipping out over this joke from when Ellen Degeneres asked Kamala Harris: “If you had to be stuck in an elevator with either President Trump, Mike Pence or Jeff Sessions who would it be?”
And Kamala answered “Does one of us have to come out alive?”
#snowflakes

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Beat LA

March 29, 2018

Just thinking that over-under on number of days SF Giants might be in first place in 2018 could have easily been zero.

 

 

Yeah without Madbum and Melancon everyone had SFGiants beating Kershaw and Dodgers on Opening Day.

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So yeah, we all had first run given up by Clayton Kershaw in all of 2018 be a home run by Joe Panik….

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Happy #OpeningDay Have the Marlins been eliminated yet?

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Meanwhile, the Detroit Tigers postponed their Opening Day game. So they remain undefeated until Friday.

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Who had Kevin Durant ejected twice more this year than Draymond Green?

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RIP “Le Grand Orange,” Rusty Staub. The reason many Canadians fell in love with baseball. He really should have been Monsieur Expo.

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A Los Angeles judge has ruled that coffee sold in California should have cancer warning labels.  Uh, if we’re talking about dangers, how about a warning that says talking to a coffee drinker before they’ve had their first morning cup might be suicidal?

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So Laura Ingraham has attacked immigrants, gays, basketball players, etc.. Learning the hard way that you don’t go after white kids #Followthemoney

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Bernie Sanders sent me a fundraising email including that we need to “energize the working families of this country to come out and vote for Democrats.”
Okay, Bernie, can you start by becoming a Democrat yourself?

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If Trump has such a problem with Amazon using USPS for delivery at cheap rates, shouldn’t he quit whining and help the post office negotiate a better deal?

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“Orders process and deliver within 10-14 business days via the United States Postal Service for delivery within the Domestic U.S. only. ” Amazon? Nope, the “official Donald J. Trump Store.”

 

Stormy Daniels’ lawyer says April 30 will be hearing to determine if Trump has to testify under oath. Hmm, so who will @realDonaldTrump fire over prior weekend?

 

James Mattis to John Bolton “I heard you’re actually the devil incarnate and I wanted to meet you.” Well, some do say Mattis is the smartest man left in White House.

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Two and done?

March 18, 2018

Cincinnati blew a 22 point lead to Nevada in 11 minutes. Who did they think they were? The Atlanta Falcons?

 

Bearcats fall apart, Xavier falls apart. Normally when the city of Cincinnati is this embarrassed in sports, the Bengals are involved.

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God believes in Sister Jean.  (Loyola)

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Syracuse just busted President Obama’s brackets by beating Michigan State. So will Trump invite them to the White House.

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Donald Trump  was so cranky Sunday morning you think he’d picked Virginia to win it all.

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No perfect brackets left in #Marchmadness Except @realDonaldTrump’s. He will unveil his perfect picks once tournament over.

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Russia ordered expulsion of 23 British diplomats. Assume the diplomats know enough to turn down invitations for farewell tea parties.

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Facebook has banned Cambridge Analytica, this right after they locked their barn door and went looking for the horses.

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Trump claimed Andrew McCabe’s firing was a “great day for Democracy.” Well, it could turn out in long run to be a great day for Democrats.

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So who will be first Republican to say there IS no “red line” with Trump? Points for honesty?

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So if @realDonaldTrump does fire Mueller who will be the first Republican to say it’s “really troubling?”

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March 17, besides being St. Patrick’s Day, was also St. Gertrude’s Day. St Gertrude is the patron saint of cats. Cats thinking, as if we need an intermediary with God…..

 

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Seen on Nestlé bottled water “WARNING: Cap is a small part and poses a CHOKING HAZARD, particularly for children.”. #toomanylawyers

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Lindsey Graham this am, if Donald Trump fired Robert Mueller. “As I said before, if he tried to do that, that would be the beginning of the end of his presidency.” So what would Graham do – “thoughts and prayers?”

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So with all @realDonaldTrump’s love for TV personalities, Anthony Kennedy has to realize if he retires he’ll be replaced by Judge Judy.

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Andrew McCabe is a Republican. #justsayin

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Raining cats and dogs.

March 16, 2018

Ah, March, when you become irrationally happy over Houston Cougars win & you only picked them because you have a cat bracket

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Although those who were crazy enough to do dog brackets have to be feeling pretty happy.  #UMBC  #Retrievers

 

Arizona loss last night was one of more embarrassing in recent #MarchMadness history. Virginia – “hold our beer.”

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And many Virginians thought the most embarrassing thing that could happen to state was toppling of some of their Civil War heroes’ statues? #MarchMadness#UMBC #UVA

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Should the Harlem Globetrotters be worried in their next game against Washington Generals?

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The 1998 Stanford Women’s Basketball Team gladly gave up their crown of thorns tonight. #MarchMadness #Stanford #Harvard #UMBC #UVA

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Meanwhile, as far as avoiding jokes and headlines, the Warriors picked a really good night to lose to the Sacramento Kings.

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Over-under on number of  “Shocker” headlines?

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Astros signed Jose Altuve to 5-year, $151 million extension. So Jose will be able to take his family to Disneyland. Even if he still isn’t tall enough to ride all the rides.

 

Trump fires McCabe about 24 hours before he is to collect full pension. Well this ought to get FBI even more on @POTUS side.

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O.J. Simpson on Colin Kaepernick’s taking a knee – he “made a mistake.” And @TheOnion is going, again, we give up.

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With all these courageous young people marching and speaking out how long until GOP Congress raises the legal age required… to vote?

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Donald Trump apparently tried to convince Vanessa not to leave his son. Because Jared was too busy mediating peace in the Mideast?

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Jeff Flake says GOP might “might not be fit to lead… if we are going to cloister ourselves in the alternative truth of an erratic leader.” OK, could he actually start by voting against said “erratic leader” sometimes?

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Trump fires McCabe about 24 hours before he is to collect full pension. Well this ought to get FBI even more on @POTUS side.

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When @realDonaldTrump said he was going to “drain the swamp” he didn’t tell us he planned to refill it as a toxic waste dump.

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Such a small thing in grand scheme of it all… but is it too much to ask for a US President  who knows basic grammar? “It would be great for the Republican Party of Nevada, and it’s unity….”

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Just wondering, if @POTUS who could shoot someone in middle of 5th Ave and not lose supporters is so worried about Stormy Daniels, what the heck does she have on him?

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Souped up?

March 4, 2018

Cavs’ JR Smith suspension reportedly was because he threw soup at an assistant coach. Oh, broth-er.

 

So for #Cavs future road games, can we beg the PA announcers when JR Smith is announced to play Souperman?

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With the Winter Olympics over at least Americans no longer have to pretend to care about snow sports.

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Arizona won the men’s basketball Pac 12 Championship today.  Over under on how long before they might have to vacate it?

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Heisman winner Lamar Jackson says he only wants to be considered in the NFL as a quarterback.  Yeah, that worked out so well for Tim Tebow.

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Trump at Gridiron Dinner “I like chaos. It really is good. Who’s going to be the next to leave — Steve Miller or Melania?” And some even thought Donald was joking.

 

Trump says George W. Bush’s decision to invade Iraq was the “worse decision ever made.” Some would say November 8, 2016 was the single worst decision ever made.-

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Trump attacks Alec Baldwin this week on twitter. If there were only some way Baldwin could make a public on-air response.

(Wonder with Hope Hicks gone whose job it might have been to tuck Trump in before SNL?)

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An anti-child marriage bill in Kentucky has stalled due to opposition from conservatives. Wonder if same in GOP would at least say married teenagers can talk about gun control?

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So let’s see, this week Trump has picked fights with the EU, Mexico and Canada. Anybody left? Besides Russia?

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Truth. At GOP fundraiser, Trump on Xi Jinping becoming President for Life “Maybe we’ll give that a shot some day.”
At Dem. fundraiser in his 2nd term in 2016 where attendees chanting “4 more yrs.” Obama – “No, there’s a constitution amendment. And more importantly, Michelle would kill me.”

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Of course, if Trump gets his wish to have that President for Life option, wonder how many Americans would vote to bring back Obama,  Or Bill Clinton?

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