Posted tagged ‘Kaepernick jokes’

Deflated balls?

August 26, 2019

A Harvard study found that former American football players who suffered concussions are more likely to develop low testosterone levels and erectile dysfunction in later life.  Forget CTE, this might be what finally kills pro football.

After Houston talk show host Rick Kamla yesterday called Andrew Luck, who went to high school in the area, a “quitter” and a “joke” in a tweet, today he apologized and said he used a “terrible choice of words.”
Translation, Luck retired, I don’t want to be fired.

Anyone but me not only a sports fan but also REALLY don’t care about Antonio Brown and his helmet?

Chiefs sign Matt Moore, who retired after 2017 season, as a backup QB after Chad Henne broke his ankle.
Now, I’ve never been a huge Kaepernick fan, especially since he says it’s not worth voting, but who’s going to get signed next before him? Brett Favre, Tim Tebow?

This Sunday there were three malls, including the Great Mall in Milpitas, California, with shooting scares.  But aside from how terrifying these episodes are, how long until millions of Americans just decide they feel safer only doing online shopping? As if retail isn’t hurting enough.

Former Maricopa county Sheriff Joe Arpaio was convicted for criminal contempt of court over a racial profiling case and pardoned by Trump in 2017. How he’s running again for Sheriff in 2020.
Even Mississippi and Florida are going “How nuts does he think Arizona voters are?”

Trump this morning claimed Melania has “gotten to know” North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. So another useless lie? Or is he confusing Melania and Ivanka. #WishfulThinking

Trump today, claiming he’s an “environmentalist. “I want clean air. I want clean water. “I want a wealthy country. I want a spectacular country, with jobs, with pensions…and that’s what we’re getting.”
Yeah, when I was about five I wanted a flying pony.

Can anyone imagine how apoplectic GOP would have been if Obama even proposed having G7 in Hawaii because it was close to where he grew up? Let alone at a place he owned.

Another thought about 2020 G7. They are held generally in the summer. Having graduated from Lake Brantley High school near Orlando, outdoors in early June, I can attest that even at 7a no human being wants to be in Florida that time of year

So Trump feels the need to deny that he asked about nuking hurricanes but not that he says windmills cause cancer?

Lost in translation?

October 16, 2017

 

NFL officiating czar today-“clear & obvious” to overturn Jets 4th quarter TD catch. Time to start checking league officials for concussions?

On resale sites, ticket prices for ALCS game 3 between Astros and Yankees in New York tonight have fallen as low as eighty-nine dollars. So fans can get into game for price of a Yankee Stadium hot dog & beer.

NFLPA now filed for restraining order to block Ezekiel Elliott suspension. If this keeps up suspension won’t take place until Zeke retires.

Tiger Woods has apparently been cleared to resume full golf activity with no restrictions. Does that include waitresses?

 

If the @Spurs knock off the @Warriors as NBA champion this year guessing they won’t be visiting the White House either. #Popovich

And just in case anyone didn’t know. #GreggPopovich, besides being one of greatest coaches ever, is an actual veteran,

Trader Joe’s now has pumpkin-flavored dog treats. So ready for it to be November.

 

Nothing says respect for Judeo-Christian values like nominating someone’s former mistress & now third wife as Ambassador to the Vatican.

 

Interesting how I haven’t heard a peep about Calista Gingrich from those who attack Hillary for enabling her cheating husband.

Think if firefighters started kneeling that Trump would find time for a tweet about California Wildfires?

After saying little on opioids after his August promise pledge to declare a national emergency, Trump now says, “probably next week” he will make a major announcement.
Translation, he’s waiting for the next issue to surface re Jared, Ivanka or Russia so he can make the bigliest distraction.

Trump not only attacked Obama, falsely, about fallen soldiers, he said in his answer about ignoring the men killed in Niger “I’ve actually written letters individually to the soldiers we’re talking about, and they’re going to be going out either today or tomorrow.”

Translation, he’s going to get someone on his staff to write letters immediately for him to sign.

 

Here’s one thing some men just don’t seem to get. Of course both men and women can have a lousy boss and/or get harassed at work. But almost never do men get bullied or harassed just BECAUSE of their gender.

Trump today, when asked why he hasn’t mentioned the 4 US soldiers killed in Niger 12 days ago, said he “planned'” to call their families, but added “So the traditional way, if you look at President Obama and other presidents, most of them, didn’t make calls, a lot of them didn’t make calls, I like to call when it’s appropriate, when I think I’m able to do it.”
He’s not a “f*cking moron,” he’s a “f*cking evil bastard.”

 

In case any reader didn’t see Popovich’s comments today.  And in case anyone wonders why I’m a Spurs fan.

https://www.thenation.com/article/a-soulless-coward-coach-gregg-popovich-responds-to-trump/

Almost but not perfect.

August 23, 2017

Ok, even to watch that happen to a Dodger that was kinda painful.   #Baseballisthecruelestgame

In the 9th inning,  Rich Hill had a perfect game in a 0-0 tie.   Until an error at 3rd base.   Logan Forsythe has a great chance to be in a Southwest commercial.   #wannagetaway

(Then in the 10th inning, Hill gave up a leadoff home run and lost the game.)

Hank Aaron saying Colin Kaepernick “getting a raw deal” and called for NFL team to sign him.
Thinking this problem will work itself out; as much of a distraction as Kap might be, won’t be long into season before some team decides their QB really sucking will be a worse one.

Over 1,000 people rallied in NY on behalf of Colin Kaepernick. Wonder how many of them would cheer him after a few months as QB of NY Jets.

USC unveiled a statue of Queen Hecubaa, Queen of Troy, at their new USC village. And they spelled Shakespeare’s name as “Shakespear.”
Nobody tell the Stanford Band.

ESPN pulled an Asian-American announcer from calling UVA game because his name is #RobertLee. Even @theOnion thinking “that’s a stretch.”
Celtics traded with Cavs for Kyrie Irving. Which to 25 or so teams with 0 chance to win  NBA title is about as relevant as celebrities swapping wives.

Taylor Swift  has announced her newest album. Wonder how many boyfriends she had to break up with to write it?

 

At this point @Scaramucci has to be feeling like Chief Bromden after he threw that water fountain though the window. #CuckoosNest

Samsung is launching their Galaxy Note 8.0 So will it be an explosive announcement?

So Trump plans to shut down the government if needed to build his wall? Yea, bullying congress has worked so well with healthcare.

Well of course Trump will pardon Joe Arpaio. At this point former sheriff one of few Americans who might take job in Trump administration

Paul Ryan warning Trump not to shutdown govt over wall. Wonder how many GOP secretly wishing they were just dealing w/ President Clinton.

 

Reports are that WSJ editor Gerard Baker has been angering reporters by his support of Trump, asking them to soften coverage and saying “Could we just stick to reporting what he said.”
Uh, except sometimes that’s part of the problem.

 

Trump is giving Pentagon 6 months to kick out transgender service people deemed ‘non-deployable.’ But will Trump be around in 6 months?

Cheers and jeers

August 6, 2017

Dolphins sign Jay Cutler reportedly in part because fans were unhappy about the idea of Kaepernick. Chicago Bears fans are just giggling.

Jay Cutler is apparently going to come out of retirement and sign with the Dolphins. So how many teams will now get calls from Brett Favre?

 

Nothing is certain except death, taxes, and that the SF pitching to Goldschmidt is a really stupid idea.

Falcons CB Jalen Collins suspended the first 10 games of 2017 for PEDs, after being suspended the first 4 games in 2016 for PEDs.  Is the 2nd suspension for drugs or stupidity?

After watching Mets get obliterated by Dodgers,  and the Giants actually looking good in winning two games in a row, thinking maybe New York should take a page out of the San Francisco Panda playbook and bring up at this point a minor-league talent – Tebow.

RIP #DarrenDaulton. Really sad to watch stars you’ve watched play pass away. Sadder when they’re younger than you.

 

Two former rowers on U Washington’s men’s team have been charged with sharing videos of them having sex with drunk women, including two who don’t remember the incidents.
The men were kicked off the team when the allegations first surfaced. Heck of a way to show rowers could be the equal of big-time college athletes.


CNN.com  headline – “beloved celebrity couple calls it quits.” So, okay, I clicked on the story – “Anna Faris and Chris Pratt have filed for separation.”

All together now, “who?”

The manufacturer of the Fireball ride that broke apart at the Ohio State fair, killing one and injuring seven, said “excessive corrosion on the interior of the gondola support beam dangerously reduced the beam’s wall thickness over the years.”
But hey, let’s get rid of more pesky regulations.

Ah online reviews…. Was looking for a hotel in a certain area of Dubai. W Hotel on the Palm has 4.2 ranking out of 5, 26 reviews. Which sounds great except for one thing. It is under construction and NOT OPEN YET.

Chris Christie -Mueller’s convening of a grand jury is a “normal step.” As a former prosecutor he should know what it’s a “normal step” towards.

Minn. Gov. Mark Dayton called mosque bombing “act of terrorism,” following in footsteps of Pres. Trump. Oh wait, crickets. Never mind.

Trump is now quoting @protrump45, supposedly a young black conservative woman, who is actually a bot. What’s next- voting rights for bots?
Why hasn’t Trump,on his “working vacation”, tweeted anything about missing Marines in Australia. Because no way to blame on Obama or Hillary?
#MikePence says running in 2020 story “latest attempt by media to divide this administration.” Actually Trump divides them quite well on his own.
 –
Journalist Julia Ioffe, slamming Trump’s proposed immigration policy. “When you ask Trump supporters, they don’t care because she’s a different — she’s the right kind of immigrant.”
“She is a beautiful white woman from Europe, and we like those. Even though she doesn’t have a college degree.”
Well, yeah, and she’s willing to do the kind of jobs Americans won’t do… like marrying Donald.

Going long

October 16, 2016

Today Drew Brees threw for 465 YDS & 4 TD, and the @Saints barely won. Rumor has it there is part of an NFL game you can play called “defense.”

Latest college football rankings, #Pac12 has exactly 2 teams in the top 25. Traditional powers Washington and.. Utah?

#LARams have got to be lying awake at night wondering how they ever lost to this #49ers team. #SFvsBUF

#RudyGuiliani today said he “would have to be a moron to say” that the election “is going to be fair.” And his point is?

 

Lots of verbal attacks on #ColinKaerpernick in Buffalo today. Silly Bills fans. Did they realize that Kap & the 49ers might have provided the best home game entertainment they’ll see all year?. Next visitors – the Patriots.

 

Hard to be an #SFGiants fan watching Puig against Chapman.  No way to root for them both to fail.

Altamonte Springs, my high-school home town: A woman was arrested this week after posting video online of her son driving her car – the boy is 7 years old. Back on your game, Florida.

Never thought I’d say anything positive about Sarah Palin. But at least she had a sense of humor. Trump tweet of the day “Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me.Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!”

Whatever happens in election suppose both @HillaryClinton & @realDonaldTrump can both take credit for helping to resurrect #SNL

 

Trump is insisting that he has lost “large numbers of women voters based on made up events THAT NEVER HAPPENED.” But those “wonderful” and “courageous” women speaking out about Bill Clinton – their stories are 100% true….

Apparently someone threw a bottle of flammable liquid through the window of a GOP office in North Carolina. And Trump tweeted “Animals representing Hillary Clinton and Dems in North Carolina just firebombed our office in Orange County because we are winning.”
Now, Hillary decried the act, but I guess I’m missing something – if Trump’s followers are violent it’s a righteous rage, but if it’s his opponents they are animals?

This is actually really scary, according to a poll from the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. “Only about one-third of Republicans said they have a great deal or quite a bit of confidence that votes on Election Day will be counted fairly.”
But has it occurred to Trump that if Hillary really could rig an election, she’d have done it starting with the 2008 Democratic primaries?

 

As Trump talks about the election ” absolutely being rigged,” including at many polling placs, have to ask…. has the Donald actually BEEN to a polling place? Last time before I gave up and decided to vote by mail, the average poll workers were “mature” to say the least, and having a hard time just matching voters to their lists. Not exactly the folks you’d enlist in a complicated conspiracy.

 

This morning on “Meet the Press” Mike Pence ” We will absolutely accept the result of the election.” So with all the people Trump has attacked on Twitter, how long until he adds his running mate to the list?

From my friend TC, sent to him by Berney:   img_0806

A plague on both your houses?

September 28, 2016

Colin Kaepernick after Monday’s Presidential debate said “Both are proven liars and it almost seems like they’re trying to debate who’s less racist.”
Well, suppose it’s a good thing there’s no chance the SF 49ers will be making a White House visit any time soon.

 

Could someone inform the #SFGiants that if you score 12 runs in 2 games it’s not a bad idea to split them up?

Matt Duffy apparently stopped by the #SFGiants clubhouse today. Could he lend the team #Skeeter?

Interesting point on bullpens in the postseason made by Tom Verducci in SI.com today – the percentage games won by relief pitchers in the regular season and then in post season: 1965-68 – 26.8% and 8%. 1995-98 – 30.0% and 35.4%. 2012-2015 – 30.4% and 41.3%.
Of course Madbum in 2014 was both a starter AND a reliever. #SFGiants

Arguing that being banned from baseball didn’t mean its Hall of Fame, Pete Rose apparently has made a direct appeal to the Hall to restore his eligibility. Wonder what his odds are?

A fan who proposed to his girlfriend at Yankee Stadium during a Red Sox Yankees game had to hunt in the seats for the ring which he dropped as he dropped to a knee. Fortunately the ring was found and she said yes. Did the happy couple get an autographed ball from Starlin Castro?

(for those going, huh?, Castro is not known for his defense.)

If @realDonaldTrump bails on the next two debates will @HillaryClinton try to borrow Clint Eastwood’s chair?

Some say that @realDonaldTrump will learn from his mistakes in 1st debate. That assumes that Trump actually ever thinks he makes mistakes.

Now Donald Trump, Jr. is praising his father’s “courage” for not mentioning Bill Clinton’s cheating on Monday night “out of respect for Chelsea.”
Right, so anyone want to start a pool on how many times the thrice-married Trump and his family will congratulate themselves for not mentioning infidelity?

 

Gary Johnson was asked today to name his favorite foreign leader, and he couldn’t do it, finally admitting “I’m having a brain freeze.” So what’s Johnson’s plan after the election, running for Governor of Texas?

It’s too easy as a U.S.woman to criticize Gary Johnson for not being able to name his favorite foreign leader  Justin Trudeau.  Next question?

So with Arizona Republic, the Dallas Morning News and the CIncinnati Enquirer breaking with long tradition and joining more liberal papers to endorse a Democrat for President, wonder if Trump’s plan if elected will be to eliminate all press credentials.

What matters most.

September 21, 2016

 

So Colin Kaepernick was just voted the most disliked player in the NFL. Because kneeling during the National Anthem is so much worse than assault, domestic violence, rape….

Miami Dolphins safety Michael Thomas, who has been kneeling during the national anthem for the first two games of the NFL season, says he has been receiving death threats via social media. Okay, outrage and upset I get, but death threats? Seems like some Americans are bent on proving his and Kaepernick’s etc. point.

On a brighter note for #SFGiants fans, tonight’s 9-3 loss to the Dodgers wasn’t a heart-breaking 9th inning.

Interesting for SF Giants fans. If it comes down to the last day of the season and Giants are tied with the Cardinals – look at the expected pitching match-up for St. Louis and Pittsburgh:

Cards: Weaver (1-4) Pirates: Vogelsong (3-5)

 

Story today in the SF Chronicle that BART’s fare machines are running on Windows 2000, 17 year-old software. By airline standards, cutting-edge technology.

In Norway, 126 owners of Tesla Model S P85D are suing the company, saying their cars’ with “insane mode” acceleration only reached 496 horsepower instead of a pledged 700.
So too soon to start a pool on how many of those 126 drivers will end up getting Darwin awards?

The FBI has released pictures of the two men who allegedly stole a suitcase in NY last Saturday night, dumping and disabling the bomb in side. The bureau says they want to talk to them. Maybe the guys could help start a new division for Homeland Security “Hertz Rent-A-Thief?”

Imagine @RealDonaldTrump’s response if #DonKing was supporting and had introduced @HillaryClinton

So if we’re worried about dangerous Skittles can we start a petition to take the orange ones out?

Former Trump campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, who was fired in June, now works for CNN as an on-air political contributor. But Trump paid him $20,000 in both July and August. A Trump spokeswoman called “monthly severance” and in no way a conflict of interest.
And I am sure the Donald would be just as understanding if Hillary were paying a former staff now working for the national media.

So Jimmy Fallon may have rolled over for the Donald. But kudos to Seth Meyers: “You don’t get to peddle racist rhetoric for five years and decide when it’s over. The bottom line is this, Trump built his career on a racist lie because he’s a racist and a liar, and instead of denouncing that lie, the GOP doubled down on it completely.”

From T.C. “Colin Kaepernick says he is protesting for all the black people that are subjected to oppression and abuse on a weekly basis. What about all the white people who have 49ers seasons tickets?”

How do you not spell relief?

September 8, 2016

Good news for San Francisco Bay Area sports fan.  Soon with the 49ers season starting they’ll only expect to see one ugly loss a week.

 

When Posey got a two-out double after first two SF Giants made outs on the first pitch in 9th, Kruk said that we didn’t have to worry about Casilla because he was “now back in his regular rhythm.”
Uh, that’s what Giants fans were afraid of.

Announced today #MattDuffy to have season-ending surgery with #Rays. Tonight’s #Casilla-started 9th sure felt season-ending for #SFGiants

Atlanta Braves manager John Coppolella said there was “no risk” in signing Tim Tebow::”It’s similar to when Michael Jordan or others have wanted to play. It’s positive to draw this kind of interest to the game and make it a story because it’s good for baseball.”
He didn’t add “and how long has it been since ANYONE showed any interest in the Braves?

Colin Kaepernick today said he would donate all the money he gets from his now-top selling NFL jersey “back into the communities.”
Is it just me or has the 49ers backup QB appeared to have grown up in a hurry after that first protest?

 

 

Roger Goodell on Kaerpernick: “we believe very strongly in patriotism in the NFL.. I think it’s important to have respect for our country, for our flag, for the people who make our country better; for law enforcement..,”
“For law enforcement.” That’s why so many players work so hard at keeping so many police officers busy?

Art Briles, after being fired as football coach of Baylor over several sexual assault scandals involving players. “Hey, I made some mistakes. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m gonna learn. I’m gonna do better.”
Better at disciplining his players or better at keeping them from getting caught?

Ryan Lochte, who already lost his four endorsement contracts, has now been suspended by USA swimming for 10 months. Talk about a high-priced pay toilet.

Tiger Woods says he will return to competitive golf in October at the Safeway Open in Napa. Makes sense, then Tiger can go wine-tasting on his weekend off.

So why did #Apple get rid of their iPhone jack? Might be 3 words – “cordless $159 earphones. #AppleEvent

President Obama apparently met informally with Philippine President Duterte today, despite Duterte’s earlier disrespectful insults. Well, guess Obama has had plenty of practice with this sort of thing with Congress.

A 17-year old Louisiana girl vented on social media “‘Just left albertsons. The woman behind the cake counter just refused to make me a birthday cake because I wanted “Trump 2016″ on it…” The store said it wasn’t about politics but for fear of being sued for copyright infringement with the logo.

Inclined to believe Albertson’s, Louisiana is not exactly a blue state. But allowing for the possibility of the decorator think that Trump is not a good Christian and she didn’t want to make the cake, where are the defenders of religious freedom on this one?

Donald Trump on Phyllis Schlafly “She was a patriot, a champion for women…” Some statements can’t possibly be topped with a punchline.

Donald Trump tonight “Under the leadership of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton the generals have been reduced to rubble, reduced to a point where it is embarrassing for our country.”
But earlier today the Donald said that on day one of his Presidency, ““We are going to convey my top generals and give them a simple instruction They will have 30 days to submit to the Oval Office a plan for soundly and quickly defeating ISIS. We have no choice.”
These quotes are verbatim – so just wondering, how does Trump plan to FIND top generals out of the rubble?

Blow ups.

September 1, 2016

Facebook just changed their relationship status with SpaceX to “it’s complicated.”

At Cape Canaveral, a SpaceX rocket exploded on the launch pad this morning. SpaceX described the explosion as an “anomaly.” Fortunately there were no injuries. And airline spokespersons immediately filed “anomaly” away for future use.

 

Pamela Anderson, 49, has become an anti-porn crusader. Maybe because no one wants to see her sex tapes anymore?

As Colin Kaepernick doubles down on his anthem protest, angering many other NFL players, here’s an interesting side note: Right now the 49ers only have to pay him guaranteed salary for 2016. But if Kaepernick suffers a career-ending injury, he also gets $14.5 million guaranteed in 2017 and $5.2 million in 2018.
So if Kap plays this year, he’s one good hit away from a long paid vacation.

Would have been ironic tonight if angry fans went after #Kaepernick in San Diego & he needed a police escort to get out of stadium safely. #SFvsSD

Angry Mexican news anchor about Trump’s visit “The humiliation is now complete.” Which is the same sentiment felt by many rational members of the GOP.

NY Jets WR Brandon Marshall said he believes the Chicago Bears traded him after the 2014 season because of his in-season television work on Showtime’s “Inside the NFL” Well, that and Marshall’s receiving stats falling off almost 50% from the 2013 season.

 

All this talk about scary clowns in #SouthCarolina. Weren’t the presidential primaries months ago?

 

Appalachian State had a chance to beat Tennessee in regulation, but neglected to call their 3rd and last time out when they might have been in field goal range. Sounds like they spend as much time in math class as members of top NCAA programs.

Governor RIck Scott has issued a hurricane warning for Florida, saying that Hermine could be “life-threatening.” Surprised he didn’t add a warning to President Obama to stay out of the state’s business.

Donald Trump believes that American-born children of illegals should be deported. So what does that mean IF it turns out Melania skirted immigration law with her visa?

United Airlines says that 12 passengers were injured by “severe and unexpected turbulence” on an overnight flight to London while most were asleep. So what part of “keep your seatbelt fastened while you sleep” do most people not understand? #cantfixstupid #butyoucaninjurestupid

 

“Business Insider’ reports that Marco Gutierrez, who founded “Latinos for Trump’ said there could be “taco trucks on every corner” if the Donald isn’t elected.
Taco trucks? Hmm…Gutierrez might have just given a lot of Americans reasons to vote for Hillary.

 

 

From my friend Tony Alan Banks, who just may have solved one of the mysteries of the universe:   I’m 100% convinced that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.”

Getting late early

August 31, 2016

Twitter just gave me the “Who to follow” suggestion of @NBCOlympics Makes sense, the suggestion is as delayed as everything else about this summer’s games.

 

#Rockies can’t hold 6 run lead after 8 innings against #Dodgers. On brighter note #SFGiants next week at Coors should never feel out of a game.

Congrats to #TyBlach,  the newest pitcher promoted to #SFGiants, leads PCL w/ 14 wins. May or may not have major league stuff. But now neither do Cain & Peavy

A’s traded #CocoCrisp to #Indians. Proving again most appropriate @Athletics bobblehead would have blank uniform & come with erasable pen.

Some talk that Colin Kaepernick is being attacked for his sitting down during the National Anthem because he is black, or at least bi-racial. Though have to think if Russell Wilson did it we’d be having a very different discussion.

 

Bleacher Report reporting that Colin Kaepernick has become persona non grata in the NFL.. One executive “In my career, I have never seen a guy so hated by front office guys as Kaepernick.”
Right, because he disrespected the flag. Murder, domestic violence, sexual assault, animal cruelty, those are all forgivable. #WTF?

 

On the other hand,  just guessing #MuhammadAli and #JackieRobinson would not wear socks featuring caps wearing police caps. #ColinKaepernick #WTF?

Congratulations to Rockies rookie Stephen Cardullo, who today on his 29th birthday got his 1st major league home run against the Dodgers in game 1, and a grand slam in game 2.
But maybe SFGiants pitchers might want to get some tape on him before heading to Coors next week.

Loved Dallas Braden on KNBR this morning, talking about Tebow trying to play MLB. He was talking about strength and size really not mattering in baseball – said Jose Altuve is a likely MVP and “he couldn’t get on rides at Disneyland.”

All of this outrage that donors to the Clinton Foundation might have done it to get access to the Clintons. As opposed to big campaign donors who give money to candidates out of the goodness of their hearts?

 

Yet another August 31 political fundraising email starting “I’m sorry to bother you twice on the same day…” Uh, no you aren’t, or you wouldn’t do it. #Justsayno

Donald Trump was off to Mexico before a speech tonight on immigration. And Hillary Clinton today is tweeting about the mental health crisis in America. Coincidence?

So while @realDonaldTrump was in Mexico did he try to teach them to make taco bowls as good as the ones in Trump Tower?

Why does everyone care so much about what Donald Trump said tonight about immigration.  No doubt he will probably will deny saying it tomorrow.

Trump on his meeting with Mexico’s President Nieto “We did discuss the wall. We didn’t discuss payment of the wall.” Well, with all those corporate bankruptcies this is probably the way the Donald is used to doing business.

Donald Trump “It’s our right as a sovereign nation to choose immigrants that we think are the likeliest to thrive and flourish and love us.” Spoken by a man who has chosen immigrants for two of his three wives.

 

Today Trump said “we discussed the wall, we did not discuss who would pay for the wall.” Then Nieto said “I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall” Then Trump gave a speech saying Mexico would pay for the wall.
Maybe this is all preparation for the Donald’s next reality show “Dancing with the Truth.”

 

 

So is there a world leader @realDonaldTrump hasn’t insulted or accused of lying, besides #Putin?

Sit down you’re rockin’ the boat.

August 30, 2016

Increasing social media support for #ColinKaepernick. Wonder how many are #LARams fans wanting to make sure he starts season opener. #SFvsLA

Okay, on some level isn’t the most shocking thing about the controversy that #ColinKaepernick is actually relevant again? #SF49ers

#ColinKaepernick controversy was about him sitting during national anthem: The way he’s looked in preseason he was going to be sitting after it.

Happiest people about this Kaepernick controversy have to be TV advertisers who have bought space for upcoming games right before the National Anthem.

Tony Stewart now has called Colin Kaepernick an “idiot.” Right, because Kap shouldn’t have sat down to protest, he should have run someone over with his car?

You know you’re having a bad week when you replaced #TonyRomo on your #FantasyFootball team with #TeddyBridgewater

Senator #MarcoRubio, who is running for re-election, has refused to commit to serving a full six-year term. “Atta boy!” said #SarahPalin

Sarah Palin gashed her forehead while running when she fell on a rock. No word on the condition of the rock.

Bruce Bochy indicates that Joe Nathan might be a September call-up for SFGiants. Bonus is any medical costs would be covered by Medicare.

Tim Tebow has been offered a baseball contract to play winter ball in Venezuela. No interest yet from any major league team. But maybe Tebow hasn’t heard from the Braves yet?

Chris Brown has surrendered to police after an 11-hour standoff at his Southern California home. 11-hours? That’s probably longer than it will take Brown to write a song about it.

#ChrisBrown in 2013 “I finally learned that hitting a woman is wrong.” #ChrisBrown in 2016 “Pulling a gun on her, on the other hand….

An inmate at a Northern California jail for petty theft, was scheduled to be released today, but he tried to escape over a fence yesterday, was caught, and now faces additional charges. #Crooksarestupid

Another candidate for the “crooks are stupid” award of the week: A woman was arrested after she bailed her friend out of jail. With a stolen credit card. Back on your game, Florida.

ISIS second-in-command and spokesman Abu Muhammad al-Adnani has been killed. #IblameObama

As Trump criticizes Hillary Clinton over the Anthony Weiner mess, have to wonder, how happy is the Donald now that they didn’t have cellphones with cameras when he himself was in his younger days?

 

Donald Trump is heading to Mexico for meeting with President Nieto Wednesday. Quick, can we get that wall built while he’s gone?

From Marc Ragovin “Iowa Senator Jodi Ernst recently said that both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton should stop their nasty personal attacks and civilly and rationally address the important issues facing America. She then excused herself to film a commercial in which she castrates President Obama.”

I’ve got another puzzle for you.

August 29, 2016

Bummer, Gene Wilder, 83,  has passed away. Although between him and Gilda Radnerthere should be some un-PC side-splitting shows in heaven coming up.

 

wonka

 

 

Hope it didn’t kill Wilder to face the possibility of an Oompa Loompa being elected president.

 

Interesting to hear commentators talk about how Colin Kaepernick’s protest might keep the suddenly desperate Dallas Cowboys from trading for him. Right, this is the same team that had no problem signing Greg Hardy. #priorities.

 

 

If #SF49ers want a less controversial backup QB than #ColinKaepernick, #MichaelVick is available. Or hey, so is #TimTebow.

Sigh. Wasn’t that long ago that SF Giants thought Barry Bonds’ recliner was the biggest problem team could have with one of their players sitting.

Absolutely respect #ColinKaepernick‘s views & desire to speak up. But think his execution has been as good his handling of #49ers offense.

Figure @realDonaldTrump will soon go after #ColinKaepernick soon. Less for #49ers QB’s protest than for fact he’s stealing Trump’s headlines

At the U.S. Open, tennis player CoCo Vandeweghe, who lost in 3 sets, refused to shake the official’s hand: “I’m frickin’ pissed. It sucks.”
Vandeweghe isn’t leaving the tournament yet: “I have doubles Doubles and mixed, that’s where I’m heading next.”
And after today I’m sure she’ll have no problems with officials going forward…..

 

#RickPerry is going to be on #DWTS?! Did someone warn him he will have to count steps?

Ohio State suspended highly-recruited WR Torrance Gibson for the season “due to a violation of the school’s student code of conduct.” Urban Meyer says “I disagree” and adds that it was not a football or athletic dept decision.
Guess it’s time to open the pool on when Gibson will apply to transfer to an SEC school.

#DenverBroncos just announced their opening day QB will be #TrevorSiemian. All together now – “Who?!!”
 –
Former Stanford student and convicted rapist Brock Turner will be released from prison Friday after 3 months. No word on where he will go.
Hmm, India might be a good fit, this from their tourism minister, while promoting a welcome kit to be handed out on arrival “There’s a card in there listing the do’s and don’ts. Basic things like, ‘Don’t go out at night alone.’ ‘Don’t wear skirts.'”

 

The Princeton Review named University of Wisconsin-Madison the #1 party school in the USA. Well, no doubt that calls for an all-campus party tonight.

Last Saturday night, the 911 system in Washington D.C. was down for two hours, when a contractor working on a water leak accidentally turned the master switch off. Proving again, sometimes terrorism is no match for good old fashioned stupidity.

#AnthonyWeiner and #HumaAbedin are separating. Five words: What took her so long?

Sure hope the people who have been attacking Hillary Clinton for not leaving Bill are nothing but supportive of Huma Abedin’s split from Anthony Weiner. #wecandream

Donald Trump this morning “Huma is making a very wise decision. I know Anthony Weiner well, and she will be far better off without him.”
But then added “Hillary Clinton was careless and negligent in allowing Weiner to have such close proximity to highly classified information. Who knows what he learned and who he told? It’s just another example of Hillary Clinton’s bad judgment. It is possible that our country and its security have been greatly compromised by this.”
So for those who wondered how long the Donald could stay on the high road, the answer, about 15 seconds.

 

So Donald Trump attacks Hillary Clinton over national security because of Huma Abedin & Anthony Weiner: Clearly a rant from a man who has no idea women can keep secrets from their husbands.

Taking a sit?

August 28, 2016

Now 49ers fans are apparently burning Colin Kaepernick jerseys. Okay, but is this really for his not standing for the anthem, or for his play since signing that big contract?

CNN.com headline “Star QB won’t stand for anthem.” And thinking “did someone else follow Kaepernick’s lead?” #49ers

 

Some are saying that Colin Kaepernick’s anthem protest could be a distraction from the 49ers play on the field this year. After a few games SF fans may be thinking “Promise?”

Wonder what it would take for #TomBrady to do or say before #Patriots fans would burn his jersey?

Maybe this was Kap’s way of making sure he wouldn’t be traded to Dallas.

And what’s next for Chip Kelly?  Trying to get the team to sign a less controversial backup QB?  Like Michael Vick?  And there’s always Tebow.

 

Four home runs and four triples Sunday? Who are these players in #SFGiants uniforms?

Somebody wasn’t in their happy place. Umpire Mike Everitt ejected four Detroit Tigers Saturday night during their game against the Angels. Wonder what happens if an ump ejects enough people that a team runs out of players.

Imagine what kind of a year the #Yankees might have had if they kicked #ARod to the curb earlier?

 

After today’s 13-3 game,  maybe someone from #SFGiants organization needs to lie down in front of #Braves plane and keep them from leaving town.

At least one terminal at LAX was evacuated after reports of a shooter tonight, which turned out to be a false alarm. If only other travelers at the airport were armed.

The latest from #LAX is that panic & evacuation tonight was caused by someone in a Zorro costume with a plastic sword. #Fearitselfiswinning.

 

 

In New Mexico, a police officer wearing a lapel camera apparently accidentally filled himself stealing confiscated marijuana from his own office. Is there such a thing as a career Darwin?

Two United Airlines pilots yesterday were arrested at Glasgow airport for allegedly being too drunk to fly their schedule flight to Newark. Will their defense be you need to be drunk to want to fly from Scotland to New Jersey?

 

Trump spokeswoman Katrina Pierson “He hasn’t changed his position on immigration. He’s changed the words that he is saying,”
And what are words anyway, except, for example, the U.S. Constitution.

 

 

 

Monday @realDonaldTrump has $25,000 fundraiser at undisclosed SF Peninsula location. Undisclosed because no one wants to be seen attending?

Benched?

August 27, 2016

49ers QB Colin Kaepernick said he remained seated on the bench during the national anthem yesterday because “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.”
Well, if Kaepernick likes sitting, this year he’s going to get to do a lot of it.

 

Admire when someone takes a stand at their own personal risk. But when Colin Kaepernick says ““If they take football away, my endorsements from me, I know that I stood up for what is right.”
I’m all for free speech. But the way Kap is playing – what endorsements?

Announcers at the Little League World Series talk about a Panamian flamethrower who pitches 81 MPH. And somewhere Barry Zito is just sobbing.

#TonyRomo has a broken bone in his back. So it will be at least until midseason before he can return to disappoint #Cowboys fans.

Two Western Michigan football players were arrested for allegedly robbing a female student with a knife and semi-automatic gun. Coach P.J. Fleck suspended them both indefinitely “I’m extremely disappointed and want to assure the community that this kind of conduct is unacceptable and does not represent the values of this team or this university.”
Uh, does armed robbery represent the values of any team or university?

The Chicago White Sox are changing their field name from U.S. Cellular Field to Guaranteed Rate Field. Let’s see, cellphone companies and mortgage lenders. So they’re trying to get people less focused on booing the team than booing the sponsor?

In Tallahassee, FSU strength & conditioning coach Vic Viloria was arrested for alleged DUI after he was found “passed out” in the driver’s seat of his truck at a traffic light. Viloria clearly wasn’t thinking, that sort of thing isn’t tolerated in Tallahassee, unless you actually play for the Seminoles.

Ann Coulter, in her book “In Trump We Trust” said “Until the bleeding has stopped, there’s nothing Trump can do that won’t be forgiven. Except change his immigration policies.”
Ann forgot to add “How many times.”

 

Kudos to Southwest pilots for landing the plane safely when an engine disintegrated during a flight from New Orleans to Orlando. But then apparently some passengers took selfies while donning the oxygen masks. #BeammeupScottytheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet.

Donald Trump tweet from yesterday ““Dwayne Wade’s cousin was just shot and killed walking her baby in Chicago. Just what I have been saying. African-Americans will VOTE TRUMP!”
Leaving the misspelling aside, can’t understand how some might get the idea that with the Donald it’s all about him. #sarcasm

 

From T.C.  “US Cellular Field, the home of the Chicago White Sox have just sold the naming rights to “Guaranteed Rate” for the next 7 years. This is not to be confused with Wrigley Field which has been known as the home of “Guaranteed Losers” since 1908.”

A tale of two seasons:

August 27, 2016

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything….” Who knew Dickens was an #SFGiants fan?

 

#SFGiants congratulate #Cubs on extra innings win against #Dodgers. Hope for more wins & longer games before Giants go to #Wrigley next week

Meanwhile, Atlanta Braves put on a good clinic to explain why they have worst record in MLB. SFGiants say thank you.

Texas Rangers reliever Jeremy Jeffress was arrested in Dallas last night for alleged DUI. Okay, the guy is only making $519,000 this year, but shouldn’t that at least cover UberX?

A professor at Iowa is complaining that the school’s “Herky the Hawk” mascot is too angry looking and is an invitation to “aggressivity and even violence.” WTF? This gal better never get a job with Notre Dame and their Fighting Irish.

 

Colin Kaepernick’s accomplishment tonight – giving local sports fans reason to turn the channel to a fun #SFGiants game. #GBvsSF

Hawaii vs.Cal down under tonight. Aussies really enjoyed the game: “We get it, in American college football you don’t play defense.”

Dallas owner Jerry Jones said “it’s not good” about a TMZ video showing rookie Ezekiel Elliott at a marijuana dispensary the day of the Cowboys-Seahawks preseason game.
And really, what was Elliott thinking? You are supposed to send your posse to buy your pot.

Some talk that if Hunter Pence was still in right field last night in the 9th inning of the SF Giants Dodgers game, he might have dove for Corey Seager’s bloop single and saved Matt Moore’s no hitter. Or, the way this season has gone for the Giants lately, Pence might have landed on his collarbone, broken it, and been out for the year.

In Toronto, a man has been arrested for murder after allegedly killing 3 people- and injuring a 4th, in a seeming random rampage with a crossbow. Awful, but it WAS Canada. hence the crossbow.. Imagine if he lived in the US. #ifonlyhewasarmed

North Korea says it has successfully tested a submarine-launched missile, and Kim Jong Un says the U.S. mainland is now within striking range of his nuclear weapons. Meanwhile Dennis Rodman says he could still play in the NBA.

NJ Governor Chris Christie fired staffer Bill Stepien over Bridgegate, calling him “deceitful,” Now NBC reports Donald Trump has hired Stepien as his national field director “with a focus on voter turnout in the final months of the campaign.”
What does this really translate to, closing a few bridges in Democratic precincts?

Give the devil his due. I can’t stand Julian Assange of Wikileaks. But he has a point “‘from the point of view of an investigative journalist organization like WikiLeaks, the problem with the Trump campaign is that it’s actually hard for us to publish much more controversial material than what comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth every second day,”

Harold Bornstein, Trump’s doctor, wrote a note last fall declaring the Donald to be the “healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” Today Bornstein said he wrote the note in 5 minutes.
Well, of course, because Trump has the bestest doctor ever, the fastest and bestest.

Truthiness in advertising.

October 9, 2014

Red Bull settled a $13 million class action lawsuit over customers being deceived by the slogan “Red Bull Gives You Wings..” Darn, and here I was thinking of going as a bird for Halloween and counting on the drink to give me feathers. –

Katy Perry will reportedly perform during the Super Bowl halftime show. Well, for many men that’s two reasons to watch.

49ers QB Colin Kaepernick was fined $10,000 for wearing pink Beats by Dre headphones around his neck Sunday, instead of the NFL-approved Bose.  Hey, for that amount of money he could have chop-blocked somebody.

So Jameis Winston is probably out of the Heisman conversation, now another hopeful, Georgia’s TB Todd Gurley, who was leading the SEC in rushing, has been suspended from the team indefinitely pending an “investigation into an alleged violation of NCAA rules.” This year’s award may end up like the Tour de France – last candidate not suspended wins.

Now Adrian Peterson’s bail may be revoked he told a drug tester that he had “smoked a little weed” before taking a urinalysis test this week. Sigh. Maybe if Peterson had been smoking MORE marijuana he might not have hit his kid as hard.

 –
 Amazon‬ announced they will open their first store. Response from young adults who have grown up with Amazon Prime – “what’s a store?

 

Apparently the iPhone 6 has been catching and painfully plucking loose hairs when held to a user’s face. Well, that’s what people get for using the device for something radical like actually making a phone call.

Combined ages of Hudson, Peavy & Vogelsong, the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ starting pitchers in 3 ‪#‎NLDS‬ games the Giants won, is 109. ‪#‎ageandtreachery (If the Giants can coax Jamie Moyer out of retirement, maybe they’d be favored to win the World Series.)

From T.C.  “Their “Murder’s row of bats” are Panik, Posey, Pence, Panda,  Perez, Pray and then Pray some more.

Okay, it’s a convoluted story, but as I understand it, in 2012. a 25 year old single male volunteer for the President’s advance team in Colombia is accused of legally bringing a prostitute to his room in 2012 and denying it later.. And the administration may have delayed the investigation. Wow. Good thing we don’t have any serious issues to worry about.

Sigh. A new survey finds that 58% of Americans want to ban all flights to the United States from West African countries hit hardest by the Ebola outbreak – Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone. Uh, number of direct flights to the US from those countries? Zero. Mission accomplished.

Another Ebola thought: Lots of folks, especially in the GOP, screaming about closing borders and all kinds of other measures to stop the spread of the disease. When we get this epidemic under control and since AIDS is still an issue, will those same people also start telling all Americans to start using condoms?

Blind squirrel nut day.

April 10, 2014

I admit, I was wrong. Never thought any of the Kardashian clan would ever say anything intelligent. But I give you Kris Jenner, when asked about rumors that she would pose for Playboy – “Oh my god, no! I don’t think anyone wants to see me without any clothes on.”

 

The NY Post reports that Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t want to publicly split from Chris Martin, preferring that they stay in a “pretend marriage.” If true, who does she think she is? Tom Cruise?

 

The SF 49ers’ Colin Kaepernick is reportedly being investigated for sexual assault in Miami. No charges have been filed at this point. But wouldn’t you think with all the money these guys make they’d be smart enough to stick with professional working girls?

 

 

SF 49ers hoping sexual assault charges will not be filed against Colin Kaepernick. Still, once again this illustrates the danger of having openly heterosexual men play football.

 

In a new interview, Jimmy Carter praised John Kerry but criticized President Obama and Hillary Clinton over their handling of Middle East peace negotiations. And over at FOX as they try to figure out how to say “Carter is right,” heads are no doubt exploding.

A new report indicates that the CIA used Red Hot Chili Peppers’ songs to torture terrorism suspects. Well, guess they couldn’t use “It’s a Small World,” because that would have been a violation of the Geneva convention.

NY Giants QB Eli Manning will have arthroscopic surgery on his left ankle today. But the team hopes he will be recovered and ready to throw interceptions in minicamp.

Paul Goldschmidt v. Tim Lincecum lifetime 7 HR, 17 RBI in 24 ABs. If he ever throws him a strike again test Timmy for marijuana #SFGiants .

 

Jay Leno might be thinking he got out of the Tonight Show just in time. #Colbert #Letterman

 

John Calipari has a new book coming out with reform suggestions for college basketball. Amongst other things he believes players should be paid a stipend between $3,000 to $5,000, get one free roundtrip flight home a year, and be able to accept loans up to $50,000 against future earnings. Because these days kids on his team are really struggling during those six months of college.

The lawyer for the young man accused of stabbing 20 people at a school near Pittsburgh says the kid’s family is “like the Brady Bunch.” Uh, yeah, except for that show a violent episode was Marcia’s broken nose.

 

NY Giants QB Eli Manning will have arthroscopic surgery on his left ankle today. But the team hopes he will be recovered and ready to throw interceptions in minicamp.

 

 

 

Mike Huckabee says he’s not “homophobic but” he’s “on the right side of the bible., and unless God rewrites it, edits it, sends it down with his signature on it, it’s not my book to change.” Okay, so Huckabee’s good with all that rape, slavery, torture, incest and infanticide stuff too?

 

Kathleen Sibelius is resigning as Secretary of HHS. Republicans cannot wait for Obama to appoint her replacement so they can explain why he or she is the wrong choice.

Lost in Translation.

March 4, 2014

It’s not just tourists who mangle language. During his Sunday blessing, Pope Francis apparently accidentally confused the Italian word “caso” — which means “case” — with “cazzo” — which can translate to “f–k.” Either that or the pontiff is going to new lengths to appeal to the younger generation.

49ers QB Colin Kaepernick now wants a $18 million a year deal so he can get paid like Tony Romo. Is that because late in the NFL championship game Colin started playing like Tony Romo?

Microsoft’s new CEO announced that Mark Penn, who has been with the company 2 years, will take on the new role of chief strategy officer. That same Mark Penn who ran the successful 2008 campaign of President Hillary Clinton… Oh, right. Never mind.

The federal government was shut down today for yet another winter storm. . Meaning Congress got about as much done as normal.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers unveiled new uniforms to “establish a new, bolder identity moving forward.” Unfortunately for Bucs fans, the new uniforms will still contain the same players.

Mark Cuban says he thinks it would be better for top prospects to to play in the NBA Development League instead of spending one season in college. And a lot of high school stars are thinking “What? You mean college isn’t a one year NBA Development League?”

Dodgers pitcher Brian Wilson got a new tattoo on his left hand, of a handgun. Hope he keeps the hand covered while on road trips to the Marlins. In Florida seeing that tattoo could be enough excuse for someone to shoot him.

The NFL, trying to make extra points more interesting, is thinking of placing the ball at the 25-yd line, making it a 42-yd attempt. Of course, there are other possibilities. Like making the QB, or a lineman try the kick?    Am sure readers can come up with even more funky solutions?

Los Angeles coach Mike D’Antoni says he doesn’t think Steve Nash will play again before the season’s over. Although actually it’s been a few months since we knew the Lakers’ season was over.

#Oscars. #1 question at the Academy this morning. How the heck do we get #TinaFey and #AmyPoehler to host next year?

#KimNovak at the #Oscars did answer one other question. “Could any human being make Joan Rivers look natural by comparison?

A new bill in California would require bottled beverages with added sugars and fountain machines that dispense them to bear warning labels that say “STATE OF CALIFORNIA SAFETY WARNING: Drinking beverages with added sugar(s) contributes to obesity, diabetes, and tooth decay.” To reach the people who both didn’t know that and who actually read labels?