Posted tagged ‘SF Giants jokes’
December 20, 2017
UNC expected to be hard hit by GOP Tax Bill eliminating tax deductible donations to buy football/basketball tickets. But did anyone expect it this fast? #Wofford
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Wonder how many San Franciscans who are not really sports fans are thinking “Wait, what is Eva Longoria doing with the Giants?”
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Welcome to San Francisco Evan Longoria. Hoping you like SF Giants as much as you will like AT&T Park compared to Tropicana Field. And yeah, those people in the stands you will now seee regularly are called “fans.”
Eva Longoria & Evan Longoria are not related. But Eva’s a fan, and pretty sure SF Giants will be happy to get her good seats to any AT&T park games she wants to attend.
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MLB commissioner Manfred on Marlins’ fire sale “This (Jeter) group has a long-term commitment to winning.” Of course, that “winning” might be in the Bronx.
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Lavar Ball says he will start basketball league where top HS prospects get paid $10k a month instead of going to college. Well, except for players at some colleges that might be a pay cut.
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So when does Jacob Marley show up at Mar-A-Lago for Christmas dinner?
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Rosie O’Donnell taking heat for offering Senators Flake & Collins $2 million to vote against #GOPTaxScamBill, a bribe which is a felony. Silly @Rosie, the only legal bribes for Senators have to be written into legislation.
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If Mike Pence gets any more fawning with Trump the V.P.’s wife may not let him have any more dinners alone with Donald.
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So GOP Tax Bill gets passed on the 2nd shortest day of 2017. #Itsalwaysdarkestbeforethedawn
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Alabama Acting Senator Luther Strange, who voted for GOP Tax Bill is already out of office. How many more Senators & Reps will follow him in 2018?
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GOP Tax bill talks about “unborn children” as part of party’s anti-abortion strategy, but Republicans still can’t fund CHIP. So it’s “we fight for you in utero but once born you ingrates are on your own?” #WTF
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At least corporate America’s PR attempts before the holidays will put some money in workers’ pockets in 2017. Easy to toss some crumbs when you’ve been gifted a BIG golden loaf.
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Of course if Donald Trump were telling truth & #GOPTaxBillScam doesn’t benefit him he could easily prove it by releasing tax returns.
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Chris Christie put Jared Kushner’s father in jail, Jared got Chris kicked out of Trump administration. Now Christie says Kushner deserves scrutiny in the Mueller investigation. Mean bitch karma loves symmetry
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From T.C. “Lakers retired both of Kobe’s two jersey numbers this week (#8 & #24). He then tries to convince the wife he that he never lead a double life.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: GOP tax jokes, Janice Hough, longoria jokes, SF Giants jokes, tax bill jokes, tax jokes, Wofford jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 1, 2017
Politics aside, while Colin Kaepernick may not be an NFL caliber quarterback, seems pretty sure Jay Cutler isn’t either.
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Speaking of anthems, @Saints may start playing “God Save the Queen” before all games for luck.
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LA #Chargers can’t fill 27,000 seat stadium, & most fans showing up root for visitors. Open note to Raiders, still time to back out of Vegas.
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Okay, not that I really care, but Stanford is not ranked in college football. They are 3-2, with the 2 losses being to USC, ranked #14, and San Diego State, ranked #19. So if you are about #24-25, shouldn’t you lose to number #14 and #19?
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Question of the day after Patriots loss – WWGB – who will Giselle blame?
Pablo Sandoval’s 3 home runs in gm 1 of 2012 World Series launched SF Giants sweep, so guess it’s some compensation his walk off home run today gave Tigers #1 2018 draft pick?
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But hey, while the Giants beat Padres and lose top draft pick to Detroit, but the 49ers keep their hopes with a loss against the #Cardinals
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Today apparently FEMA Administrator Brock Long Puerto Rico hurricane relief for Puerto Rico is “the most logistically challenging event the US has ever seen”
So this administration is as good at history as they are at everything else….
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When Puerto Rico officials tell Trump what he can do w/ golf trophy he dedicated to hurricane victims will he call them worse than ingrates
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So when will Trump issue an executive order for a travel ban from Puerto Rico?
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Trump tweeted that “Being nice to Rocket Man hasn’t worked in 25 years. Clinton failed, Bush failed, Obama failed, I won’t fail.”
Uh, King Jong Un is 33 years old. Do the math. The only ones being nice to him 25 years ago might have been his nannies.
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And then Trump tweets “Save your energy, Rex.” So time to move #Tilllerson up in that Trump resignation pool?
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It really is awful that people are willing to die in Puerto Rico just to make Trump look bad.
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Death toll mounts in Puerto Rico. If O.J. is serious about finding a real killer maybe he just needs to look on golf course at Bedminster.
Categories: football jokes, Trump jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Saints jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
June 18, 2017
In a good year for SF Giants it’s every day a different hero. In 2017 it’s every day a different goat.
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Will all these Giants fans who have been saying “It could be worse” please stop.
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But at least the SF Giants didn’t give away their entire farm system to get Melancon last year before the playoffs.
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This SF Giants season would be so much easier to take if there were a big name number 1 draft pick at the end of it.
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Oops. When Brooks Koepka won the US Open, he kissed his girlfriend. And Joe Buck identified her as Becky Edwards. Except Edwards was his OLD girlfriend, he is currently dating Jena Sims. Normally when Buck is that embarrassing, baseball is involved. #wannagetaway #whatthebuck
Jim Harbaugh will make Barack & Michelle Obama honorary captains for Michigan home game. Standby for “Loser Wolverines” tweets in 3.2.1.
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25 people injured, some critically when a deck collapsed at a Montana resort. Regulations may kill jobs, but a lack of regulations can kill people.
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Remember when Bill Clinton was criticized for “selling” the Lincoln Bedroom? Trump at least won’t do that, makes more $$$ from his hotels.
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North Korea’s state-run news agency claimed US officials, “literally mugged” its delegation at JFK by “forcibly” taking away “a diplomatic package from the delegation by an illegal and heinous act of provocation.”
So what happened, did TSA confiscate Kim Jong-Un’s favorite shampoo?
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Cuba now has more than half a million people who are working independently outside the state-run economy, with restaurants, AirBnb etc. Now independent American travelers won’t be able to visit the island, only rich people on expensive tours.
And Trump says his actions will benefit the Cuban people with a straight face.
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Sorry, if you’re offended by Shakespeare you should also be offended by Caitlin Jenner joking that “liberals can’t even shoot straight.”
We didn’t need #FinsburyParkMosque attack to show us terrorism is terrorism, regardless of religion or beliefs. But it’s a sad reminder.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, North Korea jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
June 15, 2017
Kevin Durant is insisting Warriors are not a “super team.” Does that mean they want to sign another All-Star for next season?
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Jerry West leaving Warriors for Clippers. Maybe he wants a challenge. Or maybe West just wants to start taking the month of June off.
Have been making sarcastic comments about SF Giants looking like 1962 Mets. At this point the 1962 Mets are looking like an upgrade.
Still, why baseball is greatest game, example #3425. In blowout game against Rockies, SF Giants forced to pinch-hit starting pitcher forced to pinch-hit Ty Blach & he gets RBI single.
Why baseball is greatest game, example #3426. SF Giants come back to tie 9-9 being down 9-1 against Rockies & Jeff Samardzija pinch hits.
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And then the Giants lose, 10-9. The best of times, the worst of times.
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The NCAA D1 Committee on Infractions has put Louisville’s men’s basketball team on probation and suspended coach Rick Pitino for 5 games over a sex-for-pay scandal – “Without dispute, NCAA rules do not allow institutional staff members to arrange for stripteases and sex acts for prospects, enrolled student-athletes and/or those who accompany them to campus,”
Wonder how many other programs are thinking ‘Uh oh.”
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Thinking of all those workplace signs “X days without an accident.” Maybe we need to start a national sign “X days without a mass shooting.”
No fatalities, fortunately, but 10 people injured today in Midtown Manhattan when a driver lost control of her SUV at a light and jumped a curb. Another reminder that not traveling is no guarantee of safety, and carpe diem.
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Trump tweet today” You are witnessing the single greatest WITCH HUNT in American political history.” Well, just guessing he never made a campaign stop in Salem.
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Someone should remind @realDonaldTrump that in real witch hunts they threw you in water to see if you drowned. Investigations are nothing.
A Secret Service officer who was blocking a street for Trump’s motorcade suffered minor injuries when a car drove into him. Terrorist? Nope, according to reports an Uber driver in a hurry….
Russian lobbyist Richard Burt says he did indeed attend dinners hosted by Jeff Sessions, contradicting the AG’s testimony. This whole Trump administration is turning into a he said- he, he, he, he, he, and he said story.
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Trump apparently plans to reverse President Obama’s travel policy to Cuba. In a statement – “Further changes will depend entirely on the Cuban government’s willingness to expand the Cuban people’s political freedom, respect their universal rights, and allow freedom of press as well as free and fair democratic elections.”
Did they type that last phrase with a straight face?
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Well, a nice statement to pass on for a change “There is so much you do that I disagree with. But you have long since earned my respect, and you deserve to be heard, and you are an honorable individual.” GOP Texas Rep. Jeb Hensarling to DEM California Rep. Maxine Waters.
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While we talk about ratcheting down the hate in this country, a good place to start might be in honoring Crystal Griner, the Capitol policewoman who helped take down the Virginia gunman and no doubt saved lives, while being shot and injured herself.
Ms. Griner is married, to another woman. #Chooselove
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Rant time. First, I hope Steve Scalise recovers fully. No one should be shot over politics. Although I find his past efforts for a constitutional amendment against gay marriage, and a fight to exempt states from now honoring them, to be abhorrent. But some conservatives might question why I posted about the fact that one of the police officers who saved Steve Scalise’s is a black lesbian married woman. It’s not just “identity politics” or even the appreciation of irony.
Here’s a simple statement. Crystal Griner herself was shot. Without gay marriage, her WIFE might not be able to visit her in the hospital. That is wrong. That is all.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, Warriors jokes
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June 8, 2017
Hard to remember that not so long ago there was the concept of a “slow news week.”
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Maybe it’s just me but “Lordy I hope there are tapes” doesn’t seem like the kind of comment a liar would make.
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Could the 25th amendment apply to Senators? #JohnMcCain
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Waiting for Spicer’s claim Trump asked everyone to leave room while he talked to Comey because he wanted them to have a beautiful cake break
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John McCain referred to “President Comey.” And a whole lot of Americans are thinking “We could do worse.”
John McCain’s latest comment is really shocking. You mean ANYONE stays up late to watch a Padres-Dbacks game?
John McCain later said “my line of questioning today went over people’s heads…” Too much covfefe?
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Russia interfered w/ our election, President is a liar and directed FBI director to let Flynn investigation go. But her emails…
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And Comey gives those of us who love British History a moment “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?”
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Trump quoting the Bible at Faith and Freedom Coalition’s conference. Does anyone think he’s actually read it?
While everyone was watching #ComeyDay, GOP in House voted to kill Dodd-Frank. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
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MLB asked the SF Giants to pull an auction fo Hunter Strickland’s used jersey from the game he ended up brawling with Bryce Harper, because “items auctioned cannot be in bad taste.”
“Bad taste.” Right, and that’s why ESPN & MLB TV spent more time airing footage of the brawl than anything else the SF Giants have done all season.
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Baseball is the greatest game, but it still doesn’t seem right that Mark Melancon should get the win for SF Giants in the 10th after blowing save with 2 run lead.
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Meanwhile, Santiago Casilla now has same number of saves as Mark Melancon – 10 – w/ 1 fewer blown save. Welcome to 2017 #SFGiants
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In Britain, Conservative PM Theresa May called election to increase her majority & actually lost seats. #Buyersremorse?
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Waiting for Sean Spicer to spin today’s British vote as a big win for Conservatives.
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How many people do we think it is taking to keep Trump away from his phone to tweet during these #ComeyHearings?
So Trump hasn’t tweeted all day. Can we start a pool on what his next tweet will be?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: comey hearing jokes, comey jokes, Janice Hough, McCain jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 24, 2017
Serena Williams is back ranked as #1 on the WTA Tour. Or should we say Number 1 1/2?
Ben Roethlisberger now says he’s sorry that he stopped listing Findlay, Ohio as his hometown after “Some negative things were said about me by people in this town. I was hurt and I resented that.”
Probably not nearly as much as women he was accused of sexually assaulting resented things.
#Dodgers score a run after Derek Law walks Chase Utley w/ .034 batting average. Even Gorkys Hernandez thinks that’s a bad year. #SFGiants.
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Anyone remember the last time we heard Duane Kuiper’s home run call for the SF Giants? Me neither.
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Christian Arroyo era in SF has begin. He’ll wear #22. In 1986 a rookie did okay w/ that number. And this team needs thrills. Heck, this team needed a defibrillator.
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Whole Foods says they are going to lower their prices. So are they pre-announcing a Going out of Business sale?
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Kenny G played an impromptu concert aboard Delta flight. And millions of Americans changed their minds on never dragging someone off plane.
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State Dept removed blog post touting Mar-a-Lago as Winter White House. Trump hasn’t said yet which resort he’s using as Summer White House?
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#WTF So we may have govt shutdown over border wall money? Maybe Ivanka or Jared can educate Trump on tunnels, planes & boats?
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Just wonder what would happen if you told IRS, not sending in my tax payment but Mexico will be covering it for me eventually?
So congrats to all those who had Canada in “Who will Trump fight next” bingo.
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All these “MAGA” Trump supporters who are so happy about Canadian lumber tariffs do realize it means higher prices for Americans right?
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Sorry but anyone bragging his ratings are bigger “than when the World Trade Center came down” is clearly a sick individual. That is all.
(Trump yesterday to the AP, on the size of his…. ratings “It’s the highest for ‘Face the Nation’ or as I call it, ‘Deface the Nation.”
“It’s the highest for ‘Deface the Nation’ since the World Trade Center — since the World Trade Center came down.”
Another moment when he became Presidential? )
TC with the lumber truck to hell “DJ has just imposed a 20% tariff on Canadian softwood lumber exported to the US. I totally didn’t expect him to get personal on this issue. Anyways,no tariff on Hardwood Lumber? Sad…”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Janice Hough, serena jokes, SF Giants jokes, Trump jokes, wall jokes
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April 6, 2017
Jeff Samardzija somehow only gave up 24 home runs in 2016. Given 32 starts now on pace for 96 in 2017. #SFGiants
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In first 3 games, SF Giants left fielders are 0-15 w/ nine Ks. Over-under on how many times Madbum has to offered to pinch hit?
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Kentucky sophomore Isaiah Briscoe has announced he will leave school for the NBA draft. Shocking many college basketball fans – One of Calipari’s Kentucky teams had a sophomore?
So can the LA Kings honor Don Rickles by putting his picture on a giveaway hockey puck?
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Can just imagine things tonight “You call this heaven? Those pearly gates are really looking tired.” #DonRickles
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RIP #DonRickles. Wonder if realizing he couldn’t keep up with Trump on insults finally killed him.
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The post Tiger Woods era. Headline “World’s #1 Player Drops out of Masters.” And millions of Americans go “Who?” #Masters
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#RyanHoward has signed a minor-league contract with Braves in hopes of making it back to big leagues. Hmm, about that SF Giants left field problem. Just how retired is #25?
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Just think how much fun he’ll be w/Lonzo in NBA. You can’t win no championship w/ 3 white guys..foot speed is too slow’ – LaVar Ball on UCLA
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Two week vacation for @TheDailyShow. This is not good. When Jon Stewart left we got Trump. #Whatsnext?
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Presale for “The Classic” concert Friday with the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan, Journey, Earth, Wind & Fire and The Doobie Brothers runs from 10a to 10p. Wonder if there’s an early-bird special?
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Trump-“The world is a mess. I inherited a mess!” Guess somebody didn’t read too far down in the President job description.
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Russia’s Supreme Court has upheld banning Jehovah’s Witnesses as an extremist group. Who says there’s no USA-Russia common ground?
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The US just launched 50 Tomahawk cruise missiles against Syria. So did Trump push all the buttons or did he let Jared do it?
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Meanwhile, back at home, the night before “Equal Pay Day,” Trump signed an executive order canceling an Obama policy requiring federal contractors to give equal treatment to women. But Donald no doubt feels sure that when he creates more jobs for men, women won’t need to work?
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Trump defends O’Reilly, but had Bill Clinton’s accusers at Presidential debate. Guess it’s only harassment if a Democrat does it.
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A Secret Service agent was suspended for allegedly meeting a prostitute in a Maryland hotel. What is this world coming to? These men are supposed to protect the President and they can’t even figure out Tinder?
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So now that a simple majority is enough for a win how do we do a retroactive Nuclear Option on the Electoral College
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The GOP does realize the Nuclear Option could eventually go both ways, right?
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Stay classy Ann Coulter, who tweeted today “Gen. Michael Hayden: N Korea will make nuke capable of hitting Seattle! Situation will be dire as soon as they can hit a city worth saving.”
Just guessing Ann might not want to venture into her local Starbucks any time soon.
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More classy. The NY Times reports after the 2nd Presidential debate that Trump sent a personal email to Jeff Zucker, the President of CNN “Jeff — Too bad you (CNN) couldn’t be honest with how well I did in the debate. The dumbest thing I ever did was get you the job at CNN — you are the most disloyal person. Just remember, I always seem to find a way to get even. Best wishes, Donald J. Trump.”
Question of the day, who will Trump attack first for this “leak” – the NYTimes or CNN?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: don rickles jokes, Janice Hough, Masters jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 3, 2016
World Series Game 7 was moved up 8 minutes from a 5:08pm to a 5:00pm start, ostensibly to try to get it over before the rain came. Had it started at the scheduled time, that rain delay, instead of giving the Cubs a chance to regroup, would have happened before the bottom of the 9th, possibly meaning Chapman could not have pitched, certainly giving him more time to stew about the blown save.
Hmm, Hillary Clinton is a Cubs fan, where’s the Congressional investigation?
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So if #SFGiants really want to win #WorldSeries again in 2017, maybe they don’t need to sign a closer, just another ex -Oakland A or two..
Time to start a pool on how much Roger Goodell fines Richard Sherman for this one? “The league isn’t fun anymore….they say we’re trying to influence kids, and that’s their biggest thing. That’s their biggest ploy is you don’t want to be a bad influence to kids. You don’t want to be a bad role model. And I can agree with that. But in the same breath, you can’t say Budweiser is the official sponsor of the NFL, and we’re trying to influence kids. ”
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And on the league talking about player safety “That’s for public perception. They don’t care about player safety. But they do care about paying the quarterback $20 million and him missing a season. They do care about that.” #whenShermanisrightheisright
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Lots of outrage on the internet because Neiman Marcus is selling precooked, ready-to-heat-and-serve collard greens for $66. Even Whole Foods is stunned. They would have charged $99.
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A Mississippi lawyer is suing Popeyes after he says he choked on a piece of fried chicken. His claim is that because the restaurant didn’t give him a knife, he had to eat the chicken with his hands instead of cutting it into bite-size pieces.
Uh, how about suing his parents, who didn’t teach him how to chew?
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#MelaniaTrump gave a speech today about cyber bullying. This is like #BillClinton giving a speech on marital fidelity.
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#MelaniaTrump today “Our culture has gotten too mean.” Sounds like she pays as much attention to what her husband says as #MikePence does.
Ted Cruz, who famously said at the RNC convention “Vote your conscience,” is now stumping for Donald Trump. But it’s not as Ted is contradicting himself on conscience – he doesn’t have one.
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Interesting election side note: Both Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump have detractors, and neither are beloved in their own parties, But while many big names in the GOP have publicly turned on Trump, no major Democrat that I can think of has turned on Hillary. And as a life-long Democrat, I can tell you, it’s NOT because we’re the organized party.
From an anonymous friend about bipartisan pre-election “inner peace..
“A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives during this political season, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I’d started & hadn’t finished.
I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu hav no idr how fablus I feel rite now.
Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.”
From Bill Littlejohn: “In the wake of the Cubs’ World Series title, scholars say that at least 45% of the prophecies of Nastrodamus will have to be researched and re-interpreted”
Categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: election jokes, Goodell jokes, Janice Hough, melania jokes, Oakland As jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 12, 2016
So denial, then anger. Is the bargaining phase when we start rooting for #DustyBaker at least to get a ring? @SFGiants
What time is the game on tomorrow? Oh wait…. Yeah, baseball is designed to break your heart. #MLB #SFGiants
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So in looking on bright side as #SFGiants fan, if #BlueJays make it to #WorldSeries we might get to watch #JustinTrudeau attend games.
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#SFGiants going into late innings with 5 runs and a big lead does not appear to be a winning strategy. #NLDSGame4 #WorldSeries2002
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Meanwhile, the San Diego Padres have fired their President after the team missed the postseason for the 10th straight year. So wonder who the next interim president will be.
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Lebron James “In our locker room, they talk about sports highlights from the previous night, family and game strategy. what that guy was saying, that’s not — I don’t know what that is. That’s trash talk.”
It’s getting harder and harder to dislike King James.
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The NFL is now penalizing players using Saints WR Brandin Cooks bow-and-arrow touchdown celebration, which he has always said was a sign of his faith in God. They say the gesture “mimics a violent act.”
A football league. “A violent act.” And they said it with a straight face.
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You can’t make this stuff up. Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway told GOP leaders who may be wavering in their support: “Enough of the pussyfooting around”
So was that supposed to be an attention grabbing comment?
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The SF Chronicle reported that earlier this month Alaska AIrlines removed a passenger who was harassing a female flight attendant, saying things like “oooh, sexy,” during the safety demonstration. So did the guy think he was in a locker room or something?.
So I assume Russian hackers are only leaking emails from Democrats because Republicans never have said anything untoward in an email?
At a Florida rally, Donald Trump’s response after a woman fainted: “That woman was out cold, and now she’s coming back! We don’t go by these new – and very much softer – NFL rules. Concussions ‘Oh, you’ve got a little ding on the head. No, no, you can’t play for the rest of the season.’ Our people are tough.”
So let’s add NFL players and others who have suffered serious brain injuries to the list of people the Donald has taunted. Who had October 12 in the pool?
(My friend Linda points out, but if Hillary faints, she’s unfit for the Presidency.”)
Less than noble stuff in latest #wikileaks #PodestaEmails. But I’m sure most of us never say or email anything we wouldn’t want on front page
Even #BIllCosby has to be looking at #Trump & saying “Are you kidding me?”
This Donald Trump sexual assault issue is rapidly becoming another “He said, she said, she said, she said, she said, story.:”
And no doubt the Trump campaign’s response will be to dredge up more allegations against Bill Clinton. When this election is over most of America will be ready for a good hot long shower….
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From Marc Ragovin: “Melania Trump announced today that Donald will no longer be in charge of assembling the grab bags for their son Baron’s upcoming birthday party”
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Lebron James jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
October 1, 2016
Seems like old times – #RyanVogelsong starting tomorrow against #Cardinals tomorrow and a win puts the #SFGiants in playoffs..
As expected, #TyBlach vs #ClaytonKershaw was no contest, really. #SFGiants #Dodgers
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One thing you can say about #TyBlach, he’s no #SalomonTorres. #SFGiants
Heaven knows the SF Giants have had some horrible losses this year. But when the playoffs are on the line & you lose to the Braves and the As, well, then maybe you really shouldn’t be in the postseason. #Tigers #Mariners
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By my count, #SFGiants pitchers have 48 hits & 33 RBI’s this year. #WedontneednostinkinDH #PitchersWhoRake
Alabama coach Nick Saban says of star LB Tim Williams, arrested this week on gun charges, that he will face “internal” discipline, which will not involve a loss of playing time. So what will Williams have to do – go to a class? #suspensionsareforbenchplayers
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Tomorrow morning’s game – try to tell the difference between whatever lines are uttered by Alec Baldwin tonight on SNL pretending to be Trump. and lines from the real Donald.
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Trump tweeted last night “For those few people knocking me for tweeting at three o’clock in the morning, at least you know I will be there, awake, to answer the call!”
True, but maybe we don’t want the call answered by someone in the midst of the Twitter equivalent of drunk-dialing?.
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Flipping through Glamour magazine at the nail salon I saw some interviews with women saying who they were voting for and why. About 2/3 were for Clinton, but one Trump gal starts out her statement “When I was little I was for Hillary….” She is 18 years old.
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The Seahawks’ Doug Baldwin, a Stanford graduate whose father is a police officer, says he has received death threats because he called for law enforcement “to eliminate militaristic cultures while putting a higher emphasis on de-escalation tactics and crisis management measures.”
Got to wonder if some of the threats are from people who couldn’t even translate what he said.
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Friday’s top quote: I’m “not sure anybody is more qualified than Hillary Clinton to be president of the United States.” The speaker, Bill Weld – former governor of Massachusetts and Gary Johnson’s running mate.
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So by comparison was Leona Helmsley one of the “little people” who paid taxes?
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#LastTimeTrumpPaidTaxes #HillaryClinton was just signing up for a newfangled AOL email account.
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Jacob Hall, the 6 year-old boy shot at his South Carolina elementary school this week has died. His alleged 14-year old killer had been home-schooled since he was been expelled for bringing a gun to class. So are we going to build walls around schools or make sure all children are armed?
From Marc Ragovin. “no bigger joke than the way mlb handled the end of thursday’s Cards/Reds game.”
(for anyone who didn’t watch or didn’t read about it later, the umpires somehow missed the fact that a ball bounced out of play over the fence and then bounced back, which was a ground rule double, and not a ball that would have let the Cardinals runner score from first.)
From Neal , post Friday night. “Tonight’s #SFGiants game & his body slam of a fan running on the field, free agent #AngelPagan may be offered a contract by the #SF49ers?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, political jokes. election jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: gary johnson jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, tax jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
September 11, 2016
ESPN’s fantasy football app was down today. The horror. Many viewers were left with only being able to care about whoever actually won the game.
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Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and the #Browns losing on #NFL opening week
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So as we honored all those who perished on September 11, and all of the first responders, etc, with ceremonies in MLB, perhaps we could make the date more significant going forward by having it be the ONLY time in the year teams play “God Bless America” during the 7th inning?
After watching #SFGiants revival in Arizona, looks like there’s at least one SF Bay Area team with chance of winning Monday night.
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Just maybe #SFGiants have decided to eliminate #Casilla discussions by not taking 1 run leads to the 9th? #HunterPence
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So Oklahoma State fell out of the top 25 after losing to Central Michigan even though officials admitted the game should have been over before the winning play. On the other hand, OSU shouldn’t have been that close to CMU at the end of the 4th quarter.
(ditto Clemson w/ Troy and Georgia with Nicholls.)
Kim Jong-Un has banned sarcasm. Yeah, right.
So @HillaryClinton has pneumonia. Waiting for @realDonaldTrump to say when he is President he will build a wall to keep out pneumonia.
Just imagine what would have happened if @HillaryClinton had followed her doctor’s advice & stayed home from 9/11 memorial service. #cantwin
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Meanwhile, Martin Shkreli showed up outside Chelsea’s Clinton’s apartment and actually heckled Hillary as she left after going there after the service. Very little bipartisan agreement in this country, but can we agree that Shkreli is a poor excuse for a human being?
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All of us are just guessing, really. But interesting how the same people who are positive Hillary is hiding something in her medical records are convinced there’s nothing to see in Trump’s tax returns.
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In Tampa, a man tried on a bulletproof vest last night while his cousin fired a shot to see if it worked. It didn’t. One Darwin, one manslaughter charge. #ifonlytheywerearmed No wait… back on your game, Florida.
My writing is mostly about sports and politics, and I don’t like playing the woman card. But give me a break, folks. Of course Hillary went to the 9/11 memorial today when she was sick. She’s a woman and a mom. Women go to important things when we are sick. We take care of our kids, significant others, we go to work if work needs to be done. Whereas men, at the risk of being “grossly generalistic….” Okay, rant’s over.
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ESPN jokes, fantasy football jokes, hilary health jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, Shkreli jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
September 10, 2016
Many SF Giants were shocked to see an unaccustomed sight in the dugout tonight during the team’s 11-3 win over the Arizona Diamondbacks – smiles.
Did #Northwestern decide to stop playing Division 1 #FBS football last offseason and just not tell anyone?
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Millions of Americans dislike both #Trump & #Clinton & think choosing the lesser evil is tough – what about when #Yankees play #Dodgers?
ESPN commenting on how old US Open women’s champion @AngeliqueKerber is…. she is 28 years old.
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Not sure who will with the Willie Mac award for this year’s most inspirational SF Giant. But the award for the Giant most likely to drive fans to scream, cry and/or drink has to go either to Santiago Casilla or the manager who keeps putting him out there.
Two games for USC, two players ejected in 1st half each game: LT Chuma Edoga today for pushing an official, LB Jabari Ruffin last week for stomping on an opponent’s groin.
So maybe coaches Sarkasian & Kiffin weren’t solely responsibly for all that Trojan embarrassment after all?
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Many of Hillary Clinton’s fundraisers are closed to the press, last night’s LGBT event WAS open to some media. And she said this – “To just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. Right? The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic — you name it,”
So was it a gaffe by a very cautious politician? Or a deliberate hand grenade tossed to set off an carefully-timed explosion?
Hillary has backed off the “half” of Trump’s supporters on the “basket of deplorables” line, but not the concept. As the old joke goes “We’ve already established that, now we’re haggling price.
Guessing @realDonaldTrump is furious at @HillaryClinton over #BasketofDeplorables – insulting millions of Americans is HIS job.
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Donald Trump yesterday “With Iran, when they circle our beautiful destroyers with their little boats and they make gestures at our people that they shouldn’t be allowed to make, they will be shot out of the water.” How Presidential of him.
Mike Pence “I think it’s inarguable that Vladimir Putin has been a stronger leader in his country than Barack Obama has been in this country. And that’s going to change the day that Donald Trump becomes president.”
So Trump’s first act is going to be to disband Congress?
Categories: political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baskets of deplorables jokes, battle at bristol jokes, ESPN jokes, football jokes, Janice Hough, pence jokes, SF Giants jokes, Trump jokes
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August 14, 2016
Thousands of passengers were evacuated at JFK airport tonight over alleged gunshots that turned out to be nonexistent. The sound may just have been cheering for Usain Bolt.
Yep, fear itself is winning.
On a more mundane note, getting really tired of saying “Well, THAT was the worst loss of the year. #SFGiants
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Apparently closer Santiago Casilla was just lulling us into a comfortable state of delusion.
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It’s a long season, but pretty sure that if #Casilla is last #SFGiants pitcher in 2016 season he will not walk off mound a winner.
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But on a brighter note, clearly Johnny Cueto, 2-3 today with an RBI, has benefited and learned from being in the same clubhouse as Madison Bumgarner.
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Ryan Lochte and three other swimmers said they were robbed at gunpoint last night by fake Brazilian police, a report confirmed by the U.S. Olympic committee. The IOC says the reports are “absolutely not true,”
Gosh, hope this one blatant lie doesn’t tarnish the IOC’s credibility.
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So does anyone really care about #Olympics medals in tennis and golf? Even tennis and golf fans?
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Wikileaks founder Julian Assange hates Hillary Clinton, in part because he says she is against the media and freedom of speech. So he wants to help Trump get elected? #unclearontheconcept
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So with a team full of #NBA starters plus luxury ship accommodations , #TeamUSA barely wins games. Will their gold medal, if they get one, have asterisk? #Rio2016
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Donald Trump used free publicity as a major tool in his fight to win #GOP primary, now complains about media. Talk about biting hand that bottle fed you.
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Trump running mate Mike Pence now said he will publicly release his tax returns but did not say when. A GOP spokesman said it would be before the November election. Not of course specifying which year.
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Fox News’ Kimberly Guilfoyle said that Clinton and Barack Obama are “constantly making comments trying to bait Trump into saying something that will sidetrack him.”
Leaving aside the fact that the Donald doesn’t need any help, and if Trump is elected no opposition politician or world leader would ever do the same thing?
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Olympics jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 9 Comments
August 4, 2016
All of these emails today urging me to sign President Obama’s birthday card. Now saying “last chance” or “urgent.” Somehow I think he’ll get over not seeing my name.
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#SFGiants got a runner on 3rd home with less than two out on a sacrifice fly today. Hope this isn’t a sign of apocalypse.
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And with his 10th inning game winning home run, can Giants call Denard’s hit a “Span over troubled water?”
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Paul Ryan says that Donald Trump has had a “strange” run since the Republican National Convention. In other news the speaker has announced that water is wet.
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Approval ratings for President Obama at 54%, highest of his 2nd term. As most Americans realize how much they will miss him.
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It’s looking like this will be Alex Rodriguez’s last year. Wonder if other teams will start gifting A-Rod commemorative cushions for while he sits on the bench.
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Framingham State University in Massachusetts has canceled future Cinco de Mayo events after a student complained about the decorations and burrito bar “‘I feel as though whenever an event like this is taking place we go straight to stereotypes and it is EXTREMELY offensive!’
What’s next? Waiting for someone to complain that the 4th of July is offensive to those of British heritage.
Apparently a convoy of tourists in Afghanistan was attacked by the Taliban and at least six were injured. Shocking. There are tourists now in Afghanistan?
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An 11 year old boy in North Carolina asked Mike Pence “I’ve been watching the news lately and I’ve been noticing lately that you’ve been kind of softening up on Mr. Trump’s policies and words. Is this going to be your role in the administration?”
This kid has more cojones than most journalists, can one of the networks sign him up?
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The man accused of killing nine African-Americans in a Charleston church was apparently attacked and beaten today by a fellow inmate in jail today. “I feel so sorry for him” said no one.
If someone had written a novel about @realDonaldTrump’s Presidential campaign it would have been rejected by editors as too unbelievable.
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#RussellWestbrook reportedly deleted #KevinDurant‘s farewell text to him. So “You had me at good bye?”
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A young man with “mental health issues” in London is apparently responsible for fatally stabbing one woman and injuring several other people. Can only imagine had he been in the US with access to guns.
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Sad, a knife attack in London has left 1 dead and several injured. A 19 year-old man is in custody. While terrorism remains a possibility,” the police say “mental health was a significant factor.”
“Mental health?” No race or religion to blame? Well, carry on then…
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From Gerry. W., a fee that could make airlines millions, and that many travelers would actually applaud: http://www.cbc.ca/beta/comedy/funnystuff/air-canada-to-start-charging-for-emotional-baggage-in-2017-1.3631162
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Janice Hough, Obama jokes, pence jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 7 Comments
July 31, 2016
Madison Bumgarner today had a pinch-hit lead off double for the SF Giants. Too bad manager Bruce Bochy doesn’t have more bench players who can hit like him. #PItcherswhorake
After Saturday’s SF Giants win manager Bruce Bochy was talking about deciding who to pinch hit: “Of course I’ve got Bumgarner on my left shoulder wearing me out”. And Bochy thought it was bad before today…
So at what point does some opposing pitcher write on wall of SFGiants visitor’s dugout “Do NOT throw fastballs to #40?”
The Chicago Cubs put pitcher Travis Wood in left & he made a great catch against ivy at Wrigley. Uh, oh, hope Madison Bumgarner isn’t watching. He’ll want to play the outfield next.
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Then in the bottom of the 12th, Jon Lester won it for the Cubs with a suicide squeeze. #Pitcherswhokindofrake?
Earlier today the Warriors’ Draymond Green posted a picture of his junk on Snapchat, then took it down about 10 min later “I kinda hit the wrong button and it sucks. It was meant to be private. We’re all one click away from placing something in the wrong place and I suffered from that this morning.”
Uh, “WE’RE all…?” #Ifsocialmediaisoutlawedonlyoutlawswillhavesocialmedia?. Or more like #Cantfixstupid
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The Brewers are 15 games out in 4th place, and catcher Jonathan Lucroy just exercised no-trade clause to veto trade to the first place Indians. Maybe just as well for Cleveland, has anyone checked Locroy for concussions?.
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The Yankees have traded Andrew Miller, effectively surrendering for the season. Time for ESPN really to focus on football
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After tweets of hers from 2013-14 showed her repeatedly using the “N” word, Miss Teen USA, Karlie Hay, 18, apologized, saying “several years ago I had many personal struggles and found myself in a place that is not representative of who I am as a person.”
So, Ms. Hay is young, but is she aspiring to be a GOP speechwriter?
Waiting for the Trump excuse, “I alone can debate myself.”
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Let me see if I have this right. Trump supporters believe parents of children who were killed accidentally by illegal immigrant drivers were onstage for the good of our country, but the parents of a Muslim-American who died in Iraq were telling their story only for political propaganda….
From T.C. “Sign that I’m bringing to AT&T Park. Hunter Pence has read The Constitution!!”
Categories: baseball jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: bumgarner jokes, Cubs jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, trade deadline jokes, trade jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 29, 2016
SF Giants announcer Mike Krukow referred tonight to the Giants’ “inning ending triple play.” Yeah, that’s the worst kind. #redundant
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So many #SFGiants hitters are beyond due that the clubhouse should start stocking pitocin.
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Time for #SFGiants to get it together, no more #RNC & #DNC conventions to distract us anymore from their recent awfulness.
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Justin Bieber reportedly turned down $5 million offer to perform at an event during last week’s GOP convention. Well, makes sense, we all know how careful Bieber is to avoid embarrassing things that might hurt his image.
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Today @realDonaldTrump said he has best temperament of anyone who’s ever run for President. #Idonotthinkthatwordmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans.
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A Florida man is planning to sue after he spent 10 hours in jail when a police officer thought he had flakes of crystal meth on the floor of his car. It turned out to be glaze crumbs from Krispy Kreme
What is this world coming to when police cannot recognize doughnuts?
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Olympic rower Megan Kalmoe on the upcoming Rio Olympics: “I will row through s–t for you, America.” As long as none of these victorious rowers toss their coxswains in the water.
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The IRS is investigating Facebook’s having moved assets to their Irish subsidiary to avoid taxes, and the company said they could end up owing $3-5 billion. Two words – “more ads.”
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Florida Governor Rick Scott has rejected federal money for high-speed rail, rejected Obamacare funding to expand Medicaid and criticized the President at every turn. Now with Zika cases in the state, “The federal government needs to show up and do their part.”
And Obama’s got to be thinking “What part?
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Donald Trump tweeted in 2012 “Mike Bloomberg is doing a great job as Mayor of New York City. Ray Kelly is a great Police Commissioner. Mike Bloomberg.”
Wow, the Donald turns on some of these people so fast you’d think he used to be married to them.
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Trump tweeted Hillary is “owned by Wall Street.” Spoken by someone whose response to being owned is just to declare bankruptcy?
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Donald Trump yesterday said that watching the DNC made him want to “hit a number of those speakers so hard, their heads would spin.”
So if elected the Donald would sure make the USA popular at things like the G8 and other summits.
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#WholeFoods stock fell 9 percent yesterday. Wow. How often do you see a price of anything Whole Foods drop?
(assist to paul lander on the wording)
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The Martins have traded for Andrew Cashner and Colin Rea. So they’re bolstering their rotation for an October playoff run and a November sell-off.
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Dallas LB Damien WIlson will miss the beginning of training camp with an eye injury he suffered playing paintball. The Cowboys aren’t thrilled, but have to figure better another injury than another arrest.
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Donald Trump, unhappy about Hillary’s speech last night “I’ve been nice,But after watching that performance last night — such lies — I don’t have to be so nice anymore. I’m taking the gloves off.”
And he said it with a straight face.
A 16 year old boy is in custody in Houston after police say he fatally shot his parents, former player Antonio Armstrong and his wife Dawn, late last night. His siblings were also in the house but unarmed. No apparent motive. So just another Texas case of guns keeping people safer.
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bieber jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, Trump jokes, Whole Foods jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 26, 2016
Hillary Clinton to “young girls” watching, says she hopes to be the first woman president” but “you will be next.” Ok, but, I would like more women presidents BEFORE they grow up.
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#BillClinton “For those of us with more yesterdays than tomorrows its all about our children & grandchildren” #HesStillGotIt #DemsInPhilly
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Bill Clinton is proving tonight you dont have to be #MickJagger to be a 70 year old rock star. #DemConvention
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Bill Clinton may or may not be “First Man” But making strong pitch to take over commercial for #MostInterestingManInTheWorld
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Bill Clinton on Dorothy Rodman “Knowing her was one of Hillary’s greatest gifts to me.” Shameless & lovely plug for the mother-in-law vote.
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Seeing just a bit of sniping against Michelle and her future prospects after her speech saying she’s just a first lady. But really, does anyone think if Barack didn’t marry her that he’d be in the Oval Office today? #hemarriedup
#MattCain not only got the win tonight, he threw down the hitting gauntlet to #Madbum tomorrow. #SFGiants
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Would like to thank aliens who abducted #SFGiants & started wearing their uniforms for returning our real Giants tonight.
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The Cowboys now have three defensive players suspended for substance abuse at the start of the 2016 season. So to their coaching staff will Dallas be adding a probation officer?
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Eagles LB Nigel Bradham was arrested in Miami for aggravated assault; he allegedly beat up a 50 year-old hotel worker who didn’t get his umbrella set up quickly enough. Is Bradham trying to get traded to the 49ers or Cowboys?
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Aaron Rodgers on his estranged little brother Jordan on “The Bachelorette” “I haven’t seen the show. To be honest with you, so it hasn’t really affected me a whole lot. As far as those kinds of things go, I’ve always found that it’s a little inappropriate to talk publicly about some family matters, so I’m just — I’m not going to speak on those things, but I wish him well in the competition.”
Sounds like Aaron actually learned something at Cal.
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So now Trump is attacking Bernie Sanders. Is there anyone the Donald doesn’t turn on eventually, including the women he marries?
#CoryBooker responded to @realDonaldTrump’s nasty tweet with “I love you Donald.” So is that the New Jersey equivalent of #BlessYourHeart
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Donald Trump is threatening not to pay a hotel in Virginia for an event Monday because he said it was too hot in the ballroom. Maybe because there isn’t an air-conditioning system in the world that can deal with that much hot air?
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Donald Trump now says instead of using Twitter once elected President he’d have a personal White House hotline that will keep him “very busy at night” for complaints against VA hospitals.
Who is he kidding, the Donald didn’t even deal with complaints against Trump University?
Some critical of Bill Clinton’s ignoring #MonicaLewinsky years. Same folks didn’t have a problem with #Trump not mentioning his 1st 2 wives.
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Madeleine Albright says national security is not like hosting a reality tv show. Trump listening and trying to figure out how to fire her.
Interesting review of Clinton’s speech. “Bill cast Hillary as a real person—when she herself can seem remote, brittle, defensive and evasive. He sold her far better than she sells herself The man can tell a story. And in politics, that matters.”
The commie pinko sources? FoxNews.com
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So the Dems aren’t all quite coming together and singing “Kumbaya.” On the other hand, they’re not making speeches like Ted Cruz, or doing stuff like John Kasich, who posted a fake website for “Trump-Putin 2016.” #nottheOnion
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Nice change over all today for unity at the DNC though . From Marc Ragovin “Hillary Clinton got so beaten up in Philadelphia on the opening night of the Democratic National Convention that even Santa Claus felt sorry for her.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: bernie speaks, Bill Clinton jokes, Cowboys jokes, dnc convention, Janice Hough, Michelle Obama jokes, SF Giants jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 25, 2016
Often imitated, never duplicated #MichelleObama
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“This right now is the greatest country on Earth.” And @BarackObama gets reminded again that he married up. #MichelleObama #DemsInPhilly”
Is it being too much of a girl to have been in love w/ #MichelleObama‘s speech & at same time going “I love her hair? Asking for a friend
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How often do people say “Tonight I am proud to be from New Jersey?” #CoryBooker #DNCinPhilly
(“You can’t love your country without loving your countrymen and women. #CoryBooker tonight)
Love #bridgeovertroubledwater, but tonight Simon w/o Garfunkel showed why going it alone isn’t enough. #StrongerTogether #DemsInPhilly
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Another woman who, even if she doesn’t get everything she wanted, still rolls up her sleeves to get to work. #ElizabethWarren #DemsInPhilly
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Since 2004, I was and remain (albeit older) an Obama girl. Hillary Clinton got almost the same number of votes, 18 million, in the 2008 Primaries as Barack Obama. So it’s understandable that her very disappointed supporters did their best to disrupt the 2008 DNC convention. Oh wait, they didn’t. Never mind.
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A simple statement for Bernie fans, with Clinton elected, Bernie Sanders will have much more power in USA than under Trump.
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Earlier today word that some of Sanders’ supporters have “serious interest” in a “formal challenge” to replace Kaine on the ticket.
Sigh, are they trying to prove this IS their first rodeo?
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Also earlier today, reports of Sanders delegates booing… Bernie?! WTF? Is this the result of too many years of participation trophies. #DemsInPhilly
All of this politics as reality TV is getting really confusing: At one point during #DemsinPhilly do Hillary and Bernie retire to Fantasy Suite?
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Don’t get me wrong, putting what they did in emails was stupid. But just wondering how many folks condemning #DNC would be OK with coworkers, friends & family seeing what they wrote about them in their emails.
“Do I regret standing up for what I believe in? Absolutely not. Do I regret saying business should not be first before winning? Absolutely not.” Fine sentiments from White Sox pitcher Chris Sale, but dude, we’re talking about UNIFORMS. #acutabove
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Cubs have now lost 4 straight starts by Jake Arrieta, SFGiants have lost 5 of 7 starts by Madison Bumgarner. Time for these two pitchers to start an “Offenses anonymous” club?
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#SFGiants really need to start doing a better job again distracting us in the Bay Area from trivial things like the fate of our country.
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#BarryBonds turned 52 years old yesterday. And he could still probably outhit most of the #SFGiants current lineup.
Is it going to take Madison Bumgarner hitting again on Wednesday to get #SFGiants back on track out of this slump?
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #DNCinPhilly, bernie jokes, chris sale jokes, Clinton jokes, dnc jokes, Janice Hough, Michelle Obama, SF Giants jokes
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July 24, 2016
So we don’t have a woman president, yet but we do have @jessmendoza on @ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. It’s a start!
#SFGiants don’t really want Aroldis Chapman (cost and last year’s domestic violence arrest.) But they’d be fine with the #Yankees not trading him to #Nationals before next weekend’s series.
#MikeMayers, MLB debut, 1.1 inning, 9 runs, 60.75 ERA. I feel for his mother. #LAvsSTL
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Chris Sale has been suspended five games for destroying his team’s throwback uniforms, which he didn’t want to wear, before Saturday’s game. On the other hand, he’s been offered freelance contracts by a lot of college football fans.
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While #ChrisSale is serving that 5 game suspension could he come to #SF & cut up #SFGiants road uniforms? They don’t apparently work anymore.
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Australian athletes are not moving into the Olympic village because they say it’s “uninhabitable,” with numerous safety issues. And Rio’s mayor responded “I almost feel like putting a kangaroo in front of their building to make them feel at home.” #whatiftheyhadanOlympicsandnobodycame?
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The #IOC will not completely ban #Russia from the #RioOlympics. And many Russian athletes are thinking now “Damn, so this means we have to go?
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#Trump, disbelieving Roger Ailes charge “because he’s a very good person,” & because #theDonald never considered that behavior harassment?
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Oxymoron online ad of the day – “Upgrade to Yahoo search.”
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Business Insider reports that many Kmart employees expect the company soon to close all their stores. And many Americans are going “Kmart still has stores?”
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Donald Trump now proposes stop immigration “from any nation that has been compromised by terrorism,” and wouldn’t rule out France and Germany. Uh, actually would the Donald like to find ONE country that doesn’t have terrorism, including the USA?
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But if #Trump‘s idea of banning immigrants from countries “compromised by terrorism” catches on around the world, it could be rough for Americans trying to move to Canada
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Have no problem with removing Debbie Wasserman Schultz as head of the DNC for the convention and beyond. But anyone want to hazard a guess what the RNC internal emails might look like about Trump and others in the GOP primaries?
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Critics are saying #HillaryClinton should have had #DebbieWassermanSchultz fired. Uh, and who’s to say she didn’t?
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V.P. note for grouchy Dems who wanted someone other than Tim Kaine: Cory Booker, Sherrod Brown & Elizabeth Warren, all would’ve had their Senate seats filled by GOP governors.
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Would have loved Clinton to take Booker. But Kaine ups her likability quotient. And I could get used to hearing “Senate Majority Leader Warren.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love Republican chaos. But some of same Democrats who are gleefully looking forward to November with the GOP not rallying behind Trump are also saying that Sanders shouldn’t throw his support to Clinton.
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ailes jokes, baseball joke, bernie jokes, convention jokes, debbie wasserman schultz jokes, dnc jokes, dws jokes, Janice Hough, Olympics jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
June 26, 2016
Last night Madison Bumgarner gave up 3 runs. Today Johnny Cueto gave up 6 runs, Justin Verlander gave up 8 runs, and Clayton Kershaw gave up 4 runs. Okay, this really could be a sign of the apocalypse.
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On other hand, Sunday the Royals, Rangers, Orioles, Marlins, Indians, Twins, Angels, As, Dbacks, Rockies, Cardinals, Mariners, Giants and Phillies all have scored at least 6 runs. So maybe Kershaw’s four runs weren’t that bad.
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Congrats to Arizona and Coastal Carolina who will meet in the finals of the College World Series. Many people are thinkng “I didn’t know Coastal Carolina had a baseball team. Heck, many people are thinking, “I didn’t even know Coastal Carolina had a university.
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The Pittsburgh Pirates won three games from the LA Dodgers this weekend. No punchline, I just liked writing that. #SFGiants.
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Cubs’ ace Jake Arrieta, a TCU alum, apparently has to get a CCU tattoo after losing a bet to teammate Tommy La Stella, a Coastal Carolina alum, over the College World Series.
Uh, wouldn’t you think Arrieta is making enough money he could have risked something less painful like a car or a Rolex? #cantfixstupid
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Pete Rose was very emotional today at a ceremony the Cincinnati Reds had to retire his number. Wonder what odds he had gotten on it happening?
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Mitch McConnell when asked if Donald Trump is qualified for the presidency, said he’ll “leave that to the American people to decide.” Wait, don’t we elect Senators to make the tough decisions for us?
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In Lebanon, an endangered sea turtle is being treated by a rescue group after tourists dragged it out of the water, and apparently took selfies with it and beat it with sticks. Where is a great white shark when you really need one?
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Of course we knew that Palin would weigh in Brexit. Not only did she congratulate England but “America can learn an encouraging lesson from this.’It is time to dissolve political bands that connect us to agendas not in our best interest. May UN shackles be next on the chopping block,’
Uh, Sarah, even North Korea is part of the UN….
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SF Chronicle is reporting the story of a man whose North Beach apartment rent instantly jumped from $1,800 to $8000 a month. Many people will read this and go “That’s appalling.” Some San Franciscans will read this and go “You can get an apartment in North Beach for $8,000 a month?”
After #Chile‘s win over #Argentina in #COPA, Lionel #Messi says he is quitting the Argentina national team -#Messi-exit?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, College World Series jokes, copa jokes, Dodgers jokes, Janice Hough, Kershaw jokes, Palin jokes, pete rose jokes, San Francisco jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 