Posted tagged ‘Warriors jokes’
September 23, 2017
Give Donald Trump credit. Who else could have united Lebron James and Warriors.
Nerd nation. The Chicago Bulls’ Robin Lopez, formerly of Stanford: “It’s ok , in a few months probably won’t be able to visit the White House either”
Waiting seriously for the first white NFL QB to #TakeAKnee during anthem in support of teammates and free speech.
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At this point @realDonaldTrump might be rivaling #DanSnyder for the most hated man for sports fans in DC.
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Odd thing about Trump tweet is if you wanted to pick NBA star who most appealed to whites would be probably be Steph Curry.
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And President Trump. if you want to talk about an NBA player in a tweet now, it should maybe it should be the one spearheading relief efforts in the U.S. Virgin Islands – Tim Duncan.
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Good to know w/ all the tough issues facing our country @realDonaldTrump finds time for important things, like attacking Kaepernick & Curry.
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NY Giants made a statement against Trump and in support of their players NY Jets said they would not make a statement. Jets owner Woody Johnson is a friend of Trump and the US ambassador to England. I am sure it’s just a coincidence.
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As Trump spends Saturday, trashing sportsmen who disagree w/ him Gregg Popovich has to be thinking “Who am I, chopped liver?” @spurs
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Rutgers football got 2 yr probation for “failing to monitor” program. Would be bigger deal if Scarlet Knights had chance in hell for bowls.
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So when the Warriors visit Washington DC maybe they can all be invited to Barack Obama’s house?
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A New Orleans mayoral candidate using the slogan “Make New Orleans Fun Again” is facing a charge of lewd conduct after allegedly being caught masturbating in a Los Angeles Uber. Well, that’s one definition of fun.
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TC points out “TV ratings for the Chargers and Rams home LA games in NFL week 2 were were brutal. Fans longed for the days when LA did not have any NFL teams and they got the Seahawks and even the 49er games were beamed in.”
Inspired by friend Rich K. would Trump respect NFL players if instead of taking knee they tried to run people over w/ cars?
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Disrespecting country isn’t kneeling for anthem, disrespecting country is tweets trashing athletes while millions suffer in Puerto Rico.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: kneel jokes, Lebron jokes, NFL jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
June 19, 2017
Kevin Durant is reportedly going to turn down a $28 million player option & sign for $24 million to help Warriors keep Iguodola. How will he feed his family?
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As SF Giants stumble again vs Braves, wonder any way they can reschedule later this week to face teams in College World Series. #fairerfight
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Oracle Team USA is getting beaten badly in this year’s America’s Cup. Most Americans are thinking “Wow… what America’s Cup?
Martin Shkreli wants judge to cut his bail from $5 million to $2 million. What a great time for PharmaBro to get lesson in market pricing.
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Jet Airways is giving free travel for life for to a baby born on one of their flights. Is this really a good idea? Can only imagine how many 8-plus months pregnant women suddenly get an urge to fly.
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Sorry to hear of the sad death of Otto Warmbier, 22. Apparently though his father said he went to North Korea with a Chinese tour operator who used slogans like “This is the trip your parents don’t want you to take!”
Sometimes, yes, your parents are right.
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Since Trump is so against radical religious terrorism of course he tweeted about awful #FinsburyPark attack. Oh, wait, never mind.
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Murder of Muslim teenager in VA will not be investigated as hate crime. Sigh. Have to wonder, what if undocumented person kills a Muslim?
(I wrote this Monday morning. As it turns out, her killer might turn out to be an illegal alien. On top of how awful and sad her death is, this is really going to make some GOP heads explode.)
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7 injured when a fight broke out on Myrtle Beach and man pulled out gun & started firing. Guess we have to reset US mass shooting clock to 0
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If Sean Spicer is fired, what makes us think Trump will even feel the need to replace him with another press secretary? #whoneedsthepress?
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Got to wonder why Trump went to #CampDavid for just one night. Maybe to see if there were any traces of the Obamas he could remove?
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Never could get into the Harry Potter series, (gasp,) But may have to try again. JK Rowling tweeted a screen shot of a headline from the Daily Mail, which called the Finsbury Park attacker a “white van driver.”
Her comment “The Mail has misspelled ‘terrorist’ as ‘white van driver Now let’s discuss how he was radicalised.”
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Kellyann Conway, about Trump’s tweet that he was being investigated, said that was just his way of saying “Wow, look at the irony here.'”
Uh, with all due respect, does anyone in the planet think Trump knows what irony is? Unless he thinks it’s an adjective like coppery or silvery.
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Trump- “#PanamaCanal is doing quite well. I think we did a good job building it.” Now will he want Trump name on the Canal too?
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When you are proud of something, you show it off, a new dress, a new baby, a new healthcare bill….#HoldtheFloor
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Shkreli jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
June 15, 2017
Kevin Durant is insisting Warriors are not a “super team.” Does that mean they want to sign another All-Star for next season?
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Jerry West leaving Warriors for Clippers. Maybe he wants a challenge. Or maybe West just wants to start taking the month of June off.
Have been making sarcastic comments about SF Giants looking like 1962 Mets. At this point the 1962 Mets are looking like an upgrade.
Still, why baseball is greatest game, example #3425. In blowout game against Rockies, SF Giants forced to pinch-hit starting pitcher forced to pinch-hit Ty Blach & he gets RBI single.
Why baseball is greatest game, example #3426. SF Giants come back to tie 9-9 being down 9-1 against Rockies & Jeff Samardzija pinch hits.
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And then the Giants lose, 10-9. The best of times, the worst of times.
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The NCAA D1 Committee on Infractions has put Louisville’s men’s basketball team on probation and suspended coach Rick Pitino for 5 games over a sex-for-pay scandal – “Without dispute, NCAA rules do not allow institutional staff members to arrange for stripteases and sex acts for prospects, enrolled student-athletes and/or those who accompany them to campus,”
Wonder how many other programs are thinking ‘Uh oh.”
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Thinking of all those workplace signs “X days without an accident.” Maybe we need to start a national sign “X days without a mass shooting.”
No fatalities, fortunately, but 10 people injured today in Midtown Manhattan when a driver lost control of her SUV at a light and jumped a curb. Another reminder that not traveling is no guarantee of safety, and carpe diem.
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Trump tweet today” You are witnessing the single greatest WITCH HUNT in American political history.” Well, just guessing he never made a campaign stop in Salem.
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Someone should remind @realDonaldTrump that in real witch hunts they threw you in water to see if you drowned. Investigations are nothing.
A Secret Service officer who was blocking a street for Trump’s motorcade suffered minor injuries when a car drove into him. Terrorist? Nope, according to reports an Uber driver in a hurry….
Russian lobbyist Richard Burt says he did indeed attend dinners hosted by Jeff Sessions, contradicting the AG’s testimony. This whole Trump administration is turning into a he said- he, he, he, he, he, and he said story.
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Trump apparently plans to reverse President Obama’s travel policy to Cuba. In a statement – “Further changes will depend entirely on the Cuban government’s willingness to expand the Cuban people’s political freedom, respect their universal rights, and allow freedom of press as well as free and fair democratic elections.”
Did they type that last phrase with a straight face?
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Well, a nice statement to pass on for a change “There is so much you do that I disagree with. But you have long since earned my respect, and you deserve to be heard, and you are an honorable individual.” GOP Texas Rep. Jeb Hensarling to DEM California Rep. Maxine Waters.
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While we talk about ratcheting down the hate in this country, a good place to start might be in honoring Crystal Griner, the Capitol policewoman who helped take down the Virginia gunman and no doubt saved lives, while being shot and injured herself.
Ms. Griner is married, to another woman. #Chooselove
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Rant time. First, I hope Steve Scalise recovers fully. No one should be shot over politics. Although I find his past efforts for a constitutional amendment against gay marriage, and a fight to exempt states from now honoring them, to be abhorrent. But some conservatives might question why I posted about the fact that one of the police officers who saved Steve Scalise’s is a black lesbian married woman. It’s not just “identity politics” or even the appreciation of irony.
Here’s a simple statement. Crystal Griner herself was shot. Without gay marriage, her WIFE might not be able to visit her in the hospital. That is wrong. That is all.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, Warriors jokes
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June 13, 2017
At this point Warriors look like such a juggernaut that only thing that could derail them is a couple players starting to date Kardashians.
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Rumors that Golden State turned down White House invite but team says they have not been asked. Anyone think you’ll ever see Kerr & Trump together?
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Have to wonder, someone spent $133,000 for courtside seats to @NBAfinal17 game 5, when same teams expected back next year? #gameofalifetime?
In a “one & done” college basketball world should we be shocked players want to move to a super team to get an instant win?
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Yasiel Puig gave the finger today to fans booing him. Who does he think he is, Mr Met?
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In Oklahoma, two inmates who had been recaptured after escaping from jail three months ago through a ventilation system, have escaped again. This time with two others. Through the same ventilation system.
In related news, El Chapo has asked to be extradited to Oklahoma.
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A 33-yr-old woman was arrested at JFK Airport in a motorized wheelchair with a cushion filled with cocaine. What was their first clue, that the chair was traveling about 60 MPH?
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Marissa Mayer is walking away from Yahoo with a nearly $260 million golden parachute. Well, that should be enough for her to tout her leadership experience in a run for California governor.
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Wow. Just wow. SF Chronicle reporting that at an Uber board meeting to address unprofessional conduct and harrassment of women, board member Dvid Bonderman “joked” that adding female board members would make it “much more likely there’ll be more talking.” #clueless
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Jeff Sessions “I am not stonewalling.” To quote Princess Bride “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”
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Just wondering, would GOP treat @KamalaHarris with any more respect if she body slammed a FoxNews reporter?
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Remember those innocent days when #DennisRodman was the craziest American who would go aboard to talk with a foreign leader?
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Today @realDonaldTrump blocked @StephenKing & @VoteVets on Twitter. Stand up to ISIS? Trump can’t even stand up to critical tweets.
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Trump says the House Trumpcare version is “mean”, and that he wants a Senate version with more “heart.” Translation, don’t care what you do if I can spin it as win.
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Listening to Jeff Sessions drawl on about not really remembering meetings etc. half-expected to hear him say he & Trump “have always relied on the kindness of (Russian) strangers.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Kamala Harris jokes, sessions jokes, Warriors jokes
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May 8, 2017
Draymond Green complaining on watching Eastern Conf. playoffs “I thought teams would compete a little harder.” On the eve of the Warriors being about to sweep.
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More Draymond Green complaining – saying this morning that Kelly Olynyk is a “dirty player.” Well, he should be an expert on the subject.
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Baseball is supposed to be fun, right? @SFGiants
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The grounds crew had to clean up hail from Coors Field before tonight’s Rockies-Cubs game. Now it’s hail? After last night’s 18 inning loss,. Cubs at this point have to next be expecting a plague of locusts.
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Tim Tebow signed a contract extension with ESPN as a college football analyst. This apparently doesn’t affect Tebow’s minor league deal with the Mets. And even if Tebow gets called up, not like the Mets will be playing into the fall anyway.
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New York Jets WR Robby Anderson was apparently arrested for felony “resisting arrest with violence” and an obstruction of justice charge Sunday at a Miami musical festival. Once again, the NFL trying to take NY headlines from the Mets?
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Conflicting stories over if giant rabbit Simon died on United flight from London or if he was frozen upon landing. Somebunny’s going to pay.
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Only way mystery of giant bunny’s death in care of United Airlines could be any more bizarre was if rabbit was named Roger.
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Has there ever been a person who stood up to Trump who he didn’t attack personally afterwards? #SallyYates
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Republicans talking about a witch hunt may be distracted by their tall black hats flopping in their faces.
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Major tweet-storm from @realDonaldTrump on today’s hearings with #SallyYates Seems like someone is veddy veddy angry.
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Twitter is down. Apparently Trump changing his profile header picture to a denial that he had any connections with Russia broke the internet.
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So it’s Obama’s fault Flynn had security clearance in 1st place, but not his credit for warning Trump not to hire him? #WTF #Trumplogic
Well, of course it’s Obama’s fault that Trump hired Flynn. A real leader would have communicated the warning by Twitter.
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What’s the mystery why Trump hired his NSA despite so many warnings? Not hiring Flynn would admit someone knew more than him.
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Reminder today of why #LindseyGraham said “If you killed Ted #Cruz on floor of Senate & the trial was in Senate, nobody would convict you.”
From Marc Ragovin “Former New York Rangers radio announcer Howie Rose on the French election: Macron!, Macron!, Macron!”
Categories: basketball jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Giants jokes, Janice Hough, sally yates jokes, Ted Cruz jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
March 12, 2017
Yeah, even rich superstars face tough decisions. Draymond Green, unhappy at some calls in last night’s Warriors loss, said he thought about speaking out and getting a $25,000 fine from the league. But he decided to keep his mouth shut and buy a fancy watch instead.
Lots of people who will start working on brackets will be united tomorrow in 1 thought “UC Davis HAS a men’s basketball team? #marchmadness
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Thinking #Duke #NotreDame might have tied an NCAA record as far as a basketball game where most viewers wanted to see both teams lose.
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How many casual NBA fans turned on tonight’s nationally televised game & say “Wait, thought this was @Warriors @Spurs Who are these guys?
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And who knew the guy who would REALLY make Northern California proud tonight in the Spurs Warriors game was St. Mary grad Patty Mills?
In Sacramento a woman was arrested for felony vandalism after driving her SUV this morning through the front doors of the county jail. Well, give her points for police convenience.
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Pope Francis, acknowledging a shortage of priests, has indicated openness to allowing married men to be ordained. So for all his progressiveness, still better a married man than a celibate woman?
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Federal prosecutor Preet Bharara, who was asked personally by Trump to stay on three months ago, today was fired after he refused a sudden demand from AG Sessions to resign.
Well, this ought to make anyone about to make a deal with this administration feel warm and fuzzy.
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Why do I think we haven’t heard the last of #PreetBharara? Paging mean bitch Karma.
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Trump was regularly critical of Obama for playing golf. Guess he thinks Presidents should only play golf on courses they own?
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Who says Presidents don’t have tough decisions. With #daylightsavings Trump will have to choose whether to tweet at 2a or 3am tonight.
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An intruder who apparently jumped the White House fence last night around told police he had an appointment with Donald Trump. So maybe he was there to help the President with his Twitter account?
Due to intruder last night White House reportedly placed under temporary “orange alert.” Uh, hasn’t it been on orange alert since Jan 20?
Trump this afternoon praised the Secret Service for doing — a “fantastic job” apprehending a “troubled person” approaching the White House this morning.
Especially as most of the President’s Oval Office meetings are already full up on troubled persons.
Categories: basketball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Daylight savings jokes, Janice Hough, March madness jokes, Spurs jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
February 8, 2017
Patriots RB James White says he doesn’t know what happened to the football he scored the winning touchdown with in Super Bowl 51. “I actually don’t know what I did with it. I left it on the ground and started running.”
Well, at least there’s no way for the NFL to check if the ball was deflated.
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Falcons have picked interim Crimson Tide offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian as their new OC. Does Atlanta know Alabama was winless in the Sarkisian area?
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Golden State Warriors are rewarding their loyal season ticket holders with a 15-25% price increase next season. But just imagine how inexpensive 2017-2018 tickets will seem compared to those in the new SF arena.
A United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Kauai today developed autopilot problems and circled for hours before landing back at SFO more than 3 hours after takeoff. Now for the really important question, did passengers get extra miles for all that circling?
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Hate to say it but #DeVos incompetency might limit her damage. What if Trump replaced her w/ smarter person w/ same view
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While we’re changing all the rules in this country can we eliminate the 22nd amendment?
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Trump this morning starts out a tweet with “I don’t know Putin, have no deals in Russia….” Does he type these with a straight face?
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Trump tweeted today that he doesn’t know Putin. But in a 2013 MSNBC interview he said “I do have a relationship” with Putin.
No wonder Trump hates the media; they have this bad habit of reporting on what he says.
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So Betsy Devos is now our Secretary of Education. Yeah, maybe our schools have been wrong in teaching children about the value of study and hard work as far as getting ahead. They should be teaching “How to marry a billionaire.”
Would be interesting to see how many Senators actually went or sent their children to public schools. #DeVosvote
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Don’t just get mad, VOTE. Especially in school board elections. #DeVosvote
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when you elect a reality TV star to Congress. Wisconsin Rep. Sean Duffy (The Real Life: Boston, & Road Rules): “Look at Gabby Giffords. The Marxist, who took her life, a leftist guy, and now you see violence and terror in the streets all across America.
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So Green Eggs and Ham is acceptable reading on the Senate floor but a letter from Coretta Scott King is not? #WTF?
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Trump thinks “California is out of control.” Where do I get the “Out of Control Nasty California Woman T-Shirt”?
Or – “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted,” Where’s the t-shirt? I want one of those too.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Trump jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, devos, devos jokes, Janice Hough, nasty woman, Patriots jokes, Warren jokes, Warriors jokes
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January 18, 2017
Adam Schefter of ESPN reports 49ers will offer their coaching job to Kyle Shanahan after the Falcons’ season has ended. So guess Kyle has to decide if he’s already had enough of playoff pressure.
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Actually, Jed York DOES know it was Kyle’s dad Mike who won those Super Bowls, right?
Redskins owner owner Dan Snyder attended a gala pre-inaugural dinner in DC, along with Trump, Pence, and Kellyanne Conway. And of course he’s happy, with Trump moving into the White House, Snyder is longer most hated man in town.
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Lebron James said that the Cavs and Warriors aren’t rivals, just “two great teams that have aspirations.” Draymond Green disagrees ”
“Yeah, I think this is a rivalry.” Well, at least it’s nice to have an argument make any sort of headlines these days that isn’t political.
In Colorado, a 24-year old Maserati salesman died this weekend in a single-car crash shortly after posting video of himself Facebook Live video of himself driving one of the cars at 111 mph.
Guess he’s the front-runner for 2017’s most expensive Darwin?
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Headline “McDonald’s just made a major change to the Big Mac.” Ok, who but me thought saw this and thought – “They’re adding meat?
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A DC hair stylist has gone public after Marla Maples asked her to waive her fees to do her & Tiffany’s hair for the inaugural in exchange for “exposure on social media.” Marla’s contact wrote the stylist that she is “messing with the president of the United States, as Maples’ child-support is ending now that Tiffany is 22, and “She is used to a certain lifestyle and you don’t understand that.”
Tragic, really.
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Gloria Allred held a press conference this morning with a woman who has accused Trump of sexual assault. And the alleged victim will be filing a lawsuit against the President-Elect.
Yep, you definitely see why Ringling Bros is shutting down. They really can’t compete.
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#TrumpHistoryLecture Lincoln, overrated. I’d have freed the slaves without a war. And I’d have never wasted time with a silly play.
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In an interview this weekend, President-elect Trump said that NATO was “obsolete.” And we thought as tourists in Europe we’ve been “ugly Americans before….
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Sen. Patty Murray today asked Secretary of Education nominee Betsy DeVos if she would commit to keeping funding for public schools intact.
Her response “I look forward, if confirmed, to talking about how we address the needs of all parents and all students.”
Although to be fair, based on 2016 election results, you could argue that U.S. public education isn’t working.
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#BetsyDeVos‘s confirmation hearing performance didn’t do much to advance myth of superiority of a private school education.
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Trump tweet today that “people are pouring into DC in record numbers.” Ah okay, so that’s why my travel agency computer shows all these hotel rooms available – some at normal reasonable prices.
#hedidntsaywhatkindofrecord
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, inaugural jokes, Inauguration jokes, Janice Hough, Warriors jokes
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October 25, 2016
So maybe Golden State Warriors don’t want pressure of an undefeated season? Or maybe Greg Popovich is a very very good coach
And maybe Spurs assistant coach Becky Hammon, who was head coach of the Spurs D-league in 2014 when Jonathan Simmons took MVP honors 2014, is also a pretty good coach.
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Big night in sports. #WorldSeries began for MLB. And the NBA started the 82-game second phase of their preseason.
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World Series started tonight. Maybe if MLB actually showed some regular season games and put the playoffs on network television, millions of Americans might be able to name at least one Cleveland Indian.
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#CarlosSantana starting at DH for @Indians. Casual fans thinking shouldn’t he play anthem instead & isn’t he kind of old. #WorldSeries
So for a while tonight it was looking like it was not just Bruce Bochy who might have pulled a star starter in playoffs too early.
But reliever Andrew Miller, with a 3 run lead, got the tying run to the plate in the 7th and 8th innings… and got out of it both times. What a concept. #SFGiants #Sigh
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The NY Giants have released kicker Josh Brown, saying that “Our beliefs, our judgments and our decisions were misguided.”
Translation, we never believed those documents would be made public.
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In select markets, #Arby’s announced they will begin testing venison sandwiches in select markets. Oh, deer.
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Tuesday was #NationalPassiveAggressive day. Fine, whatever.
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Barack Obama on Jimmy Kimmel last night “What I don’t do is at 3 a.m. I don’t tweet about people who insulted me. I try to sleep so that in the morning I’m actually ready for a crisis.”
Waiting for the Donald tonight at 3 a.m. to insult the President’s stamina.
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Glenn Beck just said he thinks Donald Trump is a sociopath. Well, the pot SHOULD be a kettle expert.
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A new White House executive action will require airlines to refund baggage fees for delayed baggage. Seems reasonable. Wonder how much airlines will raise fees to cover it.
A British Airways flight from San Francisco to London made an emergency landing in Vancouver after the entire crew, including the pilot, became ill. Did they all have the fish? #Ahospitalwhatisit? #surelyyoucantbeserious
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Justin Timberlake posted a selfie of himself doing early voting wth a covered up ballot, urging people to vote. But pictures in polling places are illegal in Tennessee. The horror. Trump claiming election fraud in 3.2.1…..
After Megyn Kelly told Newt Gingrich people have a right to hear reporting on women accusing Trump of being a “sexual predator, ” Gingrich actually shouted “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy!”
Well, that should help with the women’s vote.
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Trump told Reuters today as President he would not put any Democrats in his cabinet. Which could be tough. Not sure the Donald could find enough Republicans he hasn’t mortally offended.
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Colin Powell today announced ““I am voting for Hillary Clinton.” Waiting for attack tweets from #DonaldTrump against Powell in 3.2.1….
My boat would have been huge, the best, that shark would have been sushi. Only losers get eaten. #TrumpaHorrorMovie
He had very small hands. I ate them with fava beans & the bestest Chianti. #TrumpAHorrorMovie.
From Mark Ricklis “Have you seen the new Trump website? Grope-on.”
Categories: airline jokes, baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: andrew miller jokes, arby's jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, josh brown jokes, Popovich jokes, Spurs jokes, Warriors jokes, World Series joke
Comments: 1 Comment
July 7, 2016
Most people are good, most police are good. Guns make it too easy for the assholes.
(picture taken earlier tonight during the protest.)
It really is awful news out of #Dallas. Not even sure what questions to ask. But more and bigger guns are NOT the answer.
So every time we see a terrorist attack anywhere around the world many want to make America a lot less of a free country. And yet, when we have shootings, even mass shootings, here at home, those same people wouldn’t dream of making it even a little harder to get guns.
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Not that the jokes are more important, but laughter does beat crying….So back to the attempts at humor:
#KevinDurant on meeting #Warriors “It was organic. It was authentic.” Is #KD talking basketball or becoming a spokesman for #WholeFoods?
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Lots of emails from the SF Giants about voting often for Brandon Belt for the All-Star Team, and no doubt other teams are doing the same for their players. So here we have a game that “counts” for home field advantage during the World Series, and the teams are partly filled by good old-fashioned ballot box stuffing. God Bless America.
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Johnny Cueto leads #MLB in complete games. #Cueto has had an up-close view of the #SFGiants bullpen this season. #coincidence?
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Matt Harvey, 4-10 with a 4.86 ERA, is considering season-ending surgery. Of course, the way he’s been pitching, his season as a Mets starter could be ending soon anyway.
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Cardinals placed Matt Carpenter on 15-day disabled list with a right oblique strain. Starting to feel old, I remember before players had obliques.
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Amazing, the same House that couldn’t find time for votes on gun control can find time for hearings on Hillary Clinton’s emails. I sure hope this doesn’t distract them from their important business of trying to repeal Obamacare again.
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Bernie Sanders is reportedly going to endorse Hillary Clinton next Tuesday. Waiting for some of his supporters to claim the endorsement was rigged.
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Tom Brady has just declined Donald Trump’s invitation to speak at the GOP convention. Did someone inform the Patriots QB that Democrats and moderates buy his jerseys too?
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Bill O’Reilly showed old pictures yesterday of Barack Obama at a Muslim wedding, as some sort of proof of the President’s real identity. So when will O’Reilly start in with these GOP candidates who insist, despite their voting records, that they are not homophobic because they have attended a gay wedding?
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Hillary Clinton is a long way from perfect. But just guessing, if she had used a government server for her email Republicans would now be after her claiming she had illegally sent personal or campaign emails with the account, or something. Because when it comes to the GOP and Hillary, as Roseanne Rosannadanna said “It’s always something.”
Hardest thing about writing #DonaldTrump posts, having to double check all his statements to make sure they’re #NottheOnion
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Ted Cruz announced he has accepted Donald Trump’s invitation to speak at the GOP convention. Guess the Donald figured he didn’t have time to start a reality show to find speakers?
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Britain’s Conservative Party chose Theresa May and Andrea Leadsom as the final two candidates in the race to succeed David Cameron, meaning the next Prime Minister WILL be a woman.
So shall we start a pool in how long it takes Trump to insult one or both of them?
#Trump leaning towards #Gingrich as his V.P. choice? So six wives worked for Henry VIII, the Donald thinks it will work for his ticket?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: All-Star jokes, cueto jokes, email jokes, Janice Hough, sanders jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
June 20, 2016
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SF Giants looking like they’re the Bay Area team hungover after the Warriors loss.
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President Obama waited with his family on Air Force One after the plane landed on Sunday at Andrews so he could watch the last two minutes of the NBA Finals game 7. And during that time the President scored exactly as many points as the Warriors.
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So if you count end of #Game7 the #Warriors & #SFGiants have now been held scoreless for 4 minutes, 39 seconds & 9 innings.
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On the subject of “best ever seasons,” the SF Giants have won 100 games or more three times, in 1962, 1993 and 2003. The first time they lost in 7 to the Yankees, the second time they didn’t make the playoffs, the third time they were bounced in the first round.
As a Giants fan I’ll take the more plebian 2010, 2012 and 2014 seasons.
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Hard morning for #Warriors fans. But it’s got to hurt a little less when your last championship t-shirt doesn’t even have stains on it yet..
Although it didn’t work out with an RBI for the SFGiants, the Pirates pulled their starter in the 7th, because they didn’t want him to face Madison Bumgarner. No joke. #Pitcherswhorake.
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Yuck. Four hikers died this weekend in Arizona, as Phoenix reached 118 degrees and Tucson reached 115. Awful, but isn’t hiking when the temperature is at oven temperature levels basically going for a Darwin award?
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A Louisiana prosecutor has declined to charge two Alabama football players who were arrested last month on charges of possession of a controlled dangerous substance and illegal possession of a stolen firearm. D.A. Jerry Jones. “I want to emphasize once again that the main reason I’m doing this is that I refuse to ruin the lives of two young men who have spent their adolescence and teenage years, working and sweating, while we were all in the air conditioning.”
Who says there’s no compensation for playing college football?
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A SF judge has ruled that two Starbucks customers can pursue their lawsuit claiming that the chain underfills their lattes. The plaintiffs say the chain currently considers the top layer of foamed milk as part of the total volume of the latte.
And of course if Starbucks did fill drinks to the brim without foam, someone would have sued over being burned by overflowing coffee.
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Both Scottie Pippin and Dennis Rodman have just said that the Warriors loss makes the 1995-96 Bulls the NBA’s best ever team. So are they planning to get together with the 1972 Miami Dolphins to crack open some champagne?
The Senate failed to pass four gun control measures today, including one that would simply expand background checks from brick and mortar gun stores to gun shows and online purchases. Well, sure, because no one with “issues” thinking of committing a gun crime would ever think of going to a show or online.
#Profilesnotincourage #whollyownedsubsidiaryoftheNRA–
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So I think I’ve got this straight, GOP thinks it’s okay to profile Muslims in US but not to the extent of forbidding them to buy guns.
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Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski has been fired. Shocking many who didn’t realize Trump had anybody running his campaign.
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Wonder if Trump filmed the firing for a future segment of “The Apprentice?”
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Donald Trump is now accusing Jeb Bush of working to try to oust him as the GOP nominee. Uh, leaving the paranoia aside, based on “Jeb!”s campaign, why would the Donald be worried about Bush actually accomplishing anything?
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Somewhere even Richard Nixon has to be thinking that Donald Trump is more than a bit paranoid.
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From TC ” Singer Don MacLean and his wife have finalized their divorce and a settlement of $10M has been agreed upon. So… “Bye Bye to a 10 million dollar piece of pie….”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cavs jokes, finals jokes, hot weather jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, Starbucks jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
June 19, 2016
Best thing about #NBAFinals game 7. Tomorrow morning we wake up to nothing but baseball for a while.
Last time #Cleveland won a championship, forget the cellphones, fans had to share their enthusiasm by telegraph. #NBAFinals
Maybe #Cavs win is God’s way of apologizing to #Cleveland for inflicting #DonaldTrump on the city next month with #GOPConvention #NBAFinals
“The great, great venture capitalists who built company after company, that’s not an accident. And none of this is an accident, either. .. We’ve crushed them on the basketball court, and we’re going to for years because of the way we’ve built this team. We’re light-years ahead of probably every other team in structure, in planning, in how we’re going to go about things.”
Maybe mean bitch karma didn’t like Warriors’ owner Joe Lacob’s March 30, 2016 interview with the NY Times
Vegas has already set 2017 NBA Championshp odds. #Warriors #Cavs then #Spurs as favorites. They couldn’t even have waited until #NBADraft?
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Rays fans were booing the loud chants of #LetsGoGiants in Tropicana Field. Of course one solution for teams who don’t like all the visiting #SFGiants fans would be to sell out their own ballparks.
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In the first two innings of today’s #SFGiants #Rays game, Jake Peavy allowed 3 hits and hit one batter. He also pitched through 3 errors, one of them his own. Anyone who figured he would pitch six innings with only 1 run allowed is someone I want on my team for Liar’s Dice.
For non golf fans, Dustin Johnson put ice-water in his veins, or something, and won the U.S. Open by 3 strokes. But the short version is that USGA officials determined a possible one-stroke penalty wouldl be assessed against him for accidentally moving a ball on the 5th hold of the final round. . And they advised all players of this. Johnson found out when he was on the 12th tee… But said they wouldn’t decided until after play was over if it was a penalty. Soe for the last several holes of the US Open no one on the leader board had any idea what the real score was. Seriously. There have been a lot of contenders for the title “worst officiating ever in sports” But the USGA is now winning.
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Actor Scott Baio (who?) , on President Obama ” I can’t tell if he’s dumb, he’s a Muslim or he’s a Muslim sympathizer, and I don’t think he’s dumb.”
Another graduate of the Palin “stupidity to pretend you’re still relevant” school.
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Ouch, Actor Anton Yelchin was killed last night when for some reason he got out of his car in his own driveway and it slid backward, pinning him against a brick mailbox and security fence. Clearly he should have been armed.
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In Ohio, a gun shop owner was accidentally shot dead by one of his students during a “conceal and carry class.” The student was doing a “weapon malfunctions” drill. #youcannotmakethisstuffup
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Trump today said that we “really need to look at profiling” Muslims in this country. At the same time he wants Muslim-Americans to report if their neighbors, family and friends are acting suspiciously. Yeah, this is going to work out well.
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Steven Spielberg is planning a remake of West Side Story. Maybe for fun he might want to set it in Italy, as a family drama?
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baio jokes, Cavs jokes, Cleveland jokes, Janice Hough, lacob jokes, NBA finals jokes, NBA jokes, Trump jokes, US open jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
June 17, 2016
Blue Jays’ slugger Jose Bautista is on the DL after a collision with the wall today. Wonder if the wall says Bautista flipped his bat at it?
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After last night forget the Warriors and Cavs; Many Americans would like to see a match between Gisele Bundchen and Ayesha Curry. #standbyyourman
The Oakland Police Department has lost its third chief in nine days (all through firings or forced resignations.). Wow. The Bay Area may have finally found a job that makes being coach of the SF 49ers look secure by comparison.
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Oops. While performing in Canada last night, Justin Bieber disappeared from stage when he fell through a trap door. Even worse, he came back.
The Westboro Baptist Church is planning to picket some of the funerals of Orlando shooting victims. Can’t someone tell ISIL that the WBC church is decorated with pictures of Mohammad?
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Suggestion from a friend, while the Westboro Baptist Church is in Orlando picketing funerals, maybe they can do some baptisms in Disney lagoons. #bustohell.
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Wells Fargo, UPS, Motorola, JPMorgan Chase, Ford and Walgreens have all opted out of sponsoring the GOP convention. Maybe because Donald Trump is over-the-top even for some corporations, or maybe because they figure they’ll get more good free publicity for opting out than they would paid publicity for staying in.
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Vladimir Putin was asked by CNN about his reportedly calling Donald Trump “brilliant,” “outstanding” and “talented.” Putin responded “I only said he was a bright person. Isn’t he bright?”
Next expect the Russian leader to claim he only meant the the furry thing that lives on Trump’s head is bright and shiny.
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Microsoft is adding Kind Financial, a cannabis-focused data management company onto its specialized Azure cloud platform. Makes sense. the more marijuana people smoke or otherwise imbibe, the mellower they will be about Microsoft’s computer issues.
Donald Trump, on the #Orlando killings, if “one of the people in that room happened to have (a gun) and goes boom. You know what, that would have been a beautiful, beautiful sight, folks.”
Uh, except that the club had armed security, and the guard’s gun DID go “boom” and it didn’t matter.
So the Donald is proposing that people should all be armed with at least semi-automatic weapons?
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Finally.
Reasonable gun control will not stop reasonable people from having reasonable guns. That is all.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers joke, Bieber jokes, Janice Hough, Oakland jokes, Warriors jokes, Westboro Baptist jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
June 9, 2016
Justin Bieber apparently lost when he got in a fistfight with another fan after game 3 of the NBA Finals. On the brighter side, he reportedly put up a better fight than the Warriors.
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When you’re down 3 to 1 in #StanleyCupFinals isn’t calling it a “must win game” redundant? #Sharks
The way the #SJSharks play on the road vs. at home might they request the #NHL to play #StanleyCup game six in Pittsburgh?
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Mac Williamson hit his first home run for the SF Giants last night. Reports were he traded a signed ball and bat for the ball. Wonder if the signed items had Posey and Bumgarner’s names on them?
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My friend Darren forwards the information that the SF 49ers are favored in ZERO of their 2016 season games.. And somewhere in Ann Arbor you can hear the giggling
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Colin Kaerpernick says that while he and his “team” were looking at “different opportunities”, now “I’m a 49er and excited to work with Chip and his coaching staff. ” Translation, not as if anyone else really wanted me anyway.
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According to Philadelphia Magazine, 46% of voters said that the Phillie Phanatic would make a more qualified President than Donald Trump. Well, and on top of that, who doesn’t love the Phanatic?
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Apparently after NBA Finals game 2, assistant coach Phil Handy went off on the Cavs with a tirade about their performance and questioned the team’s toughness. Maybe Cleveland hired the wrong coach.
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#DraymondGreen did have best line from game 3: “They came out like their season was on the line, & we came out like it was peaches & cream.”
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Headline in Cleveland today? “All you don’t need is Love? #Cavs #KevinLove #NBAFinals
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Apparently three women are trying to raise $30 million for a super PAC titled “Women Vote Trump” So is this to support the Donald or to provide those women with mental health support?
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#PresidentObama is endorsing #HillaryClinton today. Wonder if he told her in a 3 a.m. phone call?
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But really, in 2007 what was less likely, that Obama would be elected, or that he would end up endorsing Hillary?
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#HillaryClinton says #DonaldTrump should delete his #Twitter account. Why? His tweets have to be one of the best things for her campaign.
Elizabeth Warren tonight “Donald Trump is a loud, nasty, thin-skinned fraud who has never risked anything for anyone and serves nobody but himself.” You know, Senator Warren could be really impressive if she would just stop sugarcoating things.
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Cavs jokes, Hillary jokes, Janice Hough, Sharks jokes, Trump jokes, Warren jokes, Warriors jokes
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June 8, 2016
Kentucky coach John Calipari said the Philadelphia 76ers should select the Wildcats’ Jamal Murray as the No. 1 pick in the June 23 NBA draft. So what did Murray ever do to him?
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Johnny Manziel is allegedly still holding out hope for a return to football in 2016. “Give it up already,” responded Tim Tebow.
#SteveKerr asked about #Cavs aggressive start after the first quarter of game 3.. “What did you see in response from your guys?” “Not a whole lot.” #Popwouldbepround #GSWvsCLE
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But so what #Cavs needed to compete with #Warriors was for #KevinLove to get a concussion? Heck, a Cleveland teammate might have clocked him sooner.
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“The Greatest” wanted his funeral to be free and so 15,000 tickets were given away in Louisville. Now of course, people are trying to sell the free tickets on Ebay etc. Ali family spokesman Bob Gunnell said “I’m personally disgusted and amazed that someone would try to profit off of Muhammad Ali’s memorial service.”
“Disgusted,” I get. “Amazed….?” Someone hasn’t been paying attention.
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#BristolPalin has married her baby daddy. And millions of Americans are asking “Which one?”
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Guess resort fees aren’t enough. MGM Resorts International in Las Vegas is now charging for parking at all their properties. Ah, for the days when the only bandits in town were the one-armed variety.
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Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for two years for using PEDs. And at the same time Hillary wins the Democratic nomination we are reminded it’s not always a good thing when women prove they can be equal to men.
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Bill Nye “the Science Guy” says that conservatives need an “epiphany” to attract younger voters. Okay, “science” is one strike against him, does Nye really think it will help his cause to use high-faluting words like “epiphany?”
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#Kasich is holding steady at about 11% in #CaliforniaPrimary . That’s about as high as he got in most states when he was still campaigning.
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Despite Hillary Clinton’s winning California by about 13%, the networks didn’t call the primary win for her until about 4a. In related news, the same networks are saying the Golden State Warriors still have a pretty good chance to win the NBA championship.
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Email from Bernie Sanders today “The struggle continues.” Yes, it does. But the arithmetic does not.
Convicted rapist and former Stanford swimmer Brock Turner is apparently filing an appeal, even with his slap-on-the-wrist sentence. Hmm, can someone make up some #20minutesofaction” t-shirts for Turner to give to his future wife and/or daughters?
The Guardian has leaked a letter that convicted rapist Brock Turner sent to the judge in his case “I’ve been shattered by the party culture and risk taking behavior that I briefly experienced in my four months at school. I’ve lost my ability to obtain a Stanford degree. I’ve lost employment opportunity, my reputation and most of all, my life.” #getouttheviolins
Stuart Anderson, founder of the Black Angus Steakhouse chain, has passed away at the age of 93. No details on services yet, but no doubt coupon discounts will be available.
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ali jokes, brock turner jokes, Cavs jokes, Clinton jokes, Hillary jokes, Janice Hough, Manziel jokes, NBA finals jokes, sharipova jokes, Vegas jokes, Warriors jokes
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June 5, 2016
Refs in Oakland did call travelling tonight on Lebron James. Time for a congressional investigation? #NBAFinals
#Lebron & #Cavs in game 2 of #NBAFinals were so bad #ESPN might air new special #TheDecision – on where #Cleveland plans to go for vacation.
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Denver Broncos CB Aqib Talib was treated and released from a Dallas hospital after being shot in the leg at a Dallas nightclub. This is the same Talib who was indicted for allegedly pistol-whipping and shooting at his sister’s boyfriend in 2011, and questioned last year at the scene of an aggravated assault also at a Dallas nightclub.
Even Johnny Manziel is thinking this guy needs to get a grip.
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Police in Vacaville, California arrested five people for allegedly stealing $4,700 of Red Bull from local stores. Hmm, if the stuff really does give you wings wouldn’t they have flown the coup?
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They are now selling “Golden Grahams” cereal in boxes that feature Jose Bautista’s bat flip on the front. Wonder if kids who eat it are likely to get punched at school?
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Former George W. Bush Attorney General Alberto Gonzales defending Donald Trump for calling out a Hispanic judge: “If judges are not perceived as being impartial, the public will quickly lose confidence in the rule of law upon which our nation is based.”
Oh, I don’t know, Americans recovered pretty quickly after the 2000 election.
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ESPN just reported that #MadisonBumgarner has more career grand-slam home runs than #DerekJeter
Ryan Howard says a fan at his home Citizens Bank Ballpark threw a beer bottle at him. Not good. But really, isn’t selling beer in bottles in Philadelphia like selling arms to militants?
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Gary Byrne, a former Secret Service agent in the Clinton White House, is releasing a “tell-all: book next month about his time there and how the culture “sickened” him. And of course the fact that a book anytime in the last 8 years before the election cycle would have received little notice has nothing to with it. #money
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Donald Trump is doubling down on criticism on the Hispanic judge overseeing the Trump University trial, and says now he thinks he wouldn’t get a fair trial from a Muslim judge either. Time to start the pool on when he adds women judges to the list?
Waiting for #DonaldTrump to say no one can judge him. Because really he has no peers.
The father of the former Stanford swimmer convicted of rape and sentenced to 6 months in jall has written an open letter talking about how his son’s “life has been deeply altered forever…. he will never be his happy go lucky self…his life will never be the one he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 years of life,”
Well, yeah, and can’t imagine how all that apple and tree theory got started.
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From Marc Ragovin “The Yankees are holding their Old Timers game this upcoming Sunday. Or as its otherwise known, a split-squad scrimmage.”
Categories: baseball jokes, basketball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cavs jokes, donaldtrump jokes, Janice Hough, Lebron jokes, Red Bull jokes, SFGiants jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
June 5, 2016
Nice statement from President Obama today: ‘Muhammad Ali was The Greatest. Period. If you just asked him, he’d tell you.
But what made The Champ the greatest – what truly separated him from everyone else – is that everyone else would tell you pretty much the same thing.”
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So maybe if Trump isn’t a a complete fraud it’s time to test the man for severe memory impairment. The Donald quickly praised Ali last night, but in December after the President criticized his proposed ban Trump tweeted out “Obama said in his speech that Muslims are our sports heroes. What sport is he talking about, and who?”.
Here’s a thought about Trump’s praise of Ali after saying there were no Muslim sports stars. Maybe he doesn’t know Muhammad Ali was a Muslim. #heswrongaboutmosteverythingelse
Really boggles the mind to imagine what it would have been like if #MuhammadAli at his peak in a social media age? #mostfollowersofalltime
Ads on the #MLB “Game of the Week” telling us to go to Hooters for the food. Like old days of reading Playboy for the articles. #SFvsSTL
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You start seeing one of the problems for the Cavaliers. A SF Chronicle headline “Kerr has the magic touch; James searching.” The Warriors have a good team AND a real coach
Jeff Samardzija didn’t end up having a good day for the SF Giants, giving up 4 home runs in what seemed like about two minutes. But he did get a single and an RBI. Fox announcers seemed shocked. Clearly they aren’t paying attention. #Pitcherswhorake
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James Shields was traded to the White Sox. He was a disappointment with the Padres.But being fair, it’s hard to live up to the nickname “Big Game Shields” when your team has no big games.
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Canada is changing a line in their national anthem from “in all thy sons command” to “in all of us command.” Why? As Justin Trudeau recently said, “It’s 2016.” #IblameObama #IblameTrudeau
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Southwest. already the largest airline in terms of passengers beginning or ending their trip in the SF Bay Area, is adding nine more Oakland flights tomorrow. You know you’re getting old when you can remember when Southwest was the no-frills cattle call airline.
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Got to love marketing. On “Shout” stain remover it trumpets “Removes stains the 1st time or it’s free.” So since it’s not working on a stain (ink) I read the bottle carefully, find tiny print directing me to a website. A few more clicks, and ALL they need to send me $3.99 besides a lot of info is the cash register receipt from up to a year ago. Right, because we all save every receipt for potential under $4 windfalls….
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In Saturday’s U.S. Virgin Islands, Hillary Clinton had a big win and picked up all seven pledged delegates. Wow. Okay, before this year, who even knew the U.S.V.I had a primary?
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So we’ve got hockey, basketball and baseball going on now. But as TC points out after the Padres and Mariners split a pair in San Diego, 16-6 and 16-13: “When did the NFL preseason start?”
Categories: airline jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ali jokes, Cavs jokes, Janice Hough, muhammad ali jokes, muslim jokes, primary jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
May 25, 2016
Open note to SF Bay Area fans unused to this sort of thing — the #StanleyCup is not something you wear for protection from #DraymondGreen
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So who’d a thunk that at this point the #SJSharks would be looking better in the playoffs than the #GoldenState #Warriors?
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Watching Steph Curry this year in the playoffs reminds me now a bit of Chris Paul last year. Curry had that super-human effort his first game back, especially in overtime against the Blazers when he was supposed to be on a minutes count. Paul, who was also hurt, had a super-human effort to knock the Spurs out. But then he wasn’t the same afterwards.. Wonder if both games took it out of them long term.
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Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon apparently won over some Nationals hecklers who were taunting him about having two families, by joking that he actually has three. Well, or at least we THOUGHT he was joking.
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Major power outage Wednesday in downtown #Seattle. Normally this only happens to opposing teams’ hitters who come into town to face the #Mariners.
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Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker says on election day that he will vote, but “I just don’t plan to vote for president.”
Once again, such a profile in courage from one of these clowns who wants voters to elect him to make tough choices.
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Apparently after leaving office President Obama and his family are renting a $6.4 million dollar house in a nice DC neighborhood. Good thing they didn’t decide on relocating in San Francisco, for that price they’d have gotten about a two-bedroom apartment.
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Bills GM Doug Whaley said today he “used a poor choice of words” when he said yesterday that football was a game humans were not designed to play.
“Poor choice” indeed. He violated the #1 rule of NFL ownership: “Thou shalt not be honest.”
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Frontier Airlines removed a woman from one of their planes in Denver before takeoff when she threw a tantrum and then stripped naked. This would not have happened on United. They would have charged the other passengers an entertainment fee.
Texas, Alabama, Wisconsin, West Virginia, Tennessee, Maine, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Utah and Georgia are suing the Obama administration over their new transgender school directive. So good to know those states have no more serious problems to spend their tax dollars on….
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In South Carolina, Gov. Nikki Haley signed a bill into law on that makes abortions illegal after 20 weeks unless the mother’s life is in jeopardy. Just guessing, if you’re a wealthy woman in the state needing an abortion, won’t be hard to afford a doctor to say that your life is in jeopardy.
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TC reminds us “The NFL Pro Bowl will be moving to Orlando from Honolulu this year. Wallet Disney World, get ready for a true Mickey Mouse operation to compete for your Florida tourist dollars.”
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: colon jokes, Janice Hough, SFGiants jokes, Sharks jokes, Stanley Cup jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
May 23, 2016
#NBA had to decide whether or not to suspend #DraymondGreen over groin kick of #StevenAdams. So once again a playoff game could have turned on deflated balls
New #Warriors cheer? – “Raa Raa REE! Kick ’em in the knee! Raa Raa RASS! Kick ’em in the other knee!” #DraymondGreen
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With the NBA upgrading Green’s kicking Adams to a Flagrant 2 foul, since Draymond also had a flagrant 1 vs. the Rockets, he is now one more flagrant foul of any kind away from suspension. But I am sure the Thunder won’t try to provoke him
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As #Spurs fan, have no dog in this fight, or rather in this kick. But does anyone really expect #DraymondGreen to say ” Of course I meant to kick him in the nuts.”
I guess someone forgot to tell the Toronto Raptors that the Eastern Conference NBA finals were over after game 2.
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But uh oh, tonight refs called a foul on #LeBronJames. Time for a congressional investigation? #CAVSvRAPTORS
Can only imagine how much the #NBA and its advertisers love the possibility of #Raptors vs #Thunder in the finals.
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Donald Trump says climate change is a “con job” and a “hoax.” But as reported by Politico, in Ireland, he wants to build a “nearly two-mile-long” stone wall to protect his golf course and hotel, citing “rising sea levels and increased storm frequency and wave energy associated with global warming.” #nowallleftunbuilt #NottheOnion
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Former Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell is still free on bail while appealing his felony convictions. Now current Gov. Terry McAuliffe is apparently being investigated by the FBI over possible illegal donations to his campaign. Who does the state think it is? Illinois?
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Your US post office in action. Mailing a first class 2 ounce parcel is $2.45 with tracking. Took a letter to the post office and asked if that was the cheapest way to get tracking. Nope. Must be first class certified for $3.77. Asked why I couldn’t do it as a parcel. Because it’s not in a big enough envelope. #cantfixstupid
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United Airlines is having a sale on miles. Not buying them, but simply transferring miles you have paid for and earned to another person as a gift. It’s 30% off the normal price of $15 per 1,000 miles. And airlines wonder why we hate them.
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Tom Brady’s 4-game “deflategate” suspension has already been revoked by the U.S. District Court, then reinstated, and now the Patriots’ QB and his team of laywers want the case heard “by a full panel of 13 judges on the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.” If they reject it, the appeal could go all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Forget deflating footballs, can we suspend Brady for criminal waste of taxpayer money?
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Apparently one of the excuses for killing those Santiago zoo lions when a man jumped into their enclosure was that since the lions had tasted a human, they’d look at humans as a food source in the future. Got news for these folks, if you jump into a lion’s home, you ARE a food source.
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From Marc Ragovin “A 54-year old custodian at Wooster Polytechnic Institute graduated from the school this past week with a degree in mechanical engineering. And after reading about the job prospects for 54-year old mechanical engineers, he returned to his job as custodian..
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cavaliers jokes, draymond green jokes, flagrant foul jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, Thunder jokes, Tom Brady jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
May 22, 2016
Thousands of San Francisco fans who went to the Giants Cubs game and felt bad about missing the #Warriors vs #Thunder are feeling a lot better about their decision
And a national #ESPN audience just found out why #SFGiants mantra is #WedontneednostinkinDH #Madbum #Pitcherswhorake
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Meanwhile, Buster Olney reported on ESPN that today was the latest date in the MLB season since 1947 for the Cubs and Giants to play each other with both teams in first place. Once again, hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.
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But Billy Donovan works all year to get the Thunder focused. And looks like – for now – what it really took was Draymond Green’s kick to Steven Adam’s groin.
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Dodgers win 9-5 in 17 innings over the Padres. San Diego then gets on a plane to San Francisco, where they play the Giants tomorrow. Pitcher Drew Pomeranz is starting. Assume he’s been told he’s pitching a complete game.
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So is there a 17th inning stretch? #Dodgers #Padres
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Not to say Lebron flopped Saturday night, but he fell faster and harder without a serious hit than Jeb Bush’s one-time poll numbers.
Still kind of a surfeit of riches in the SF Bay Area, with the Warriors and Sharks in the playoff semi-finals, and the Giants in first place. Fortunately for fans of humility, the 49ers’ training camp is right around the corner.
When I see all these #GameofThrones posts I understand how my non-sports fan friends must feel about all my sports posts.
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A two-day sting in Simpsonville, S.C., netted 54 arrests, 28 accused prostitutes and 26 men accused of soliciting them. Simpsonsville has a population of about 20,000. There really must not be much to do in town.
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Two Tennessee pastors were arrested this weekend for answering an online ad to have sex with an underage girl. So add another category to those we want to keep out of public bathrooms?
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From T.C. “Phil Mickelson is planning to change that KPMG hat that he wears to KMPG – Keep My Personal Gains.”
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Okay, time for one of those serious snarky posts again. Americans are nervous about terrorism, and we give up a lot of our liberties and spend billions for safety. Yet, in the U.S. last year, over 1,000 women were killed as a result of domestic violence. Where’s the fear, outrage, and $$$$?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: bumgarner jokes, Cubs jokes, Dodgers jokes, groingate, Janice Hough, kickgate, NBA jokes, Thunder jokes, Warriors jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 