Posted tagged ‘Hillary jokes’

Rounding third

September 22, 2016

Phillies came from behind and took two-run leads into the bottom of the 9th and the bottom of the 11th against the Mets.  They blew both leads and lost 9-8.    So were the Phils trying  to get the Philadelphia fans in an early booing holiday spirit by the relievers playing Santa Claus?

 

Talking about the #SFGiants needing to find their mojo. Anyway just for a few weeks to lure former third base coach @TimFlannery2 out of retirement?

The Panthers and VIkings plan still to play this weekend in Charlotte, despite the protests. Panthers LB Thomas Davis: “I look at football as a way to bring people together…I hope people know that violence is not the answer.” Well, off-field violence anyway.

 

Hear that the Baltimore Orioles are unhappy with average attendance of 19,422 fans in two games against the Boston Red Sox. And the Tampa Bay Rays are thinking “what, did those crowds overwhelm the concessions?”

San Francisco streets were shut for hours this morning over a “suspicious” object that turned out to be an abandoned empty rice cooker. #fearitselfiswinning

Open note to Americans thinking of dropping off their old crockpots, rice or pressure cookers at Goodwill, maybe now is not the best time.

And while we debate ways to keep America safer, a 24 year-old U of Iowa student, Megan Sloss, was fatally shot this weekend. By her older brother, who police say was showing her how to clean a gun when it accidentally discharged. #ifonlyshewasarmed

 

#MarissaMayer knew for some time about a about a 2 yr-old data breach affecting 500 million #Yahoo users.  And she’s probably be terminated soon and get a $44 million severance package . What’s next, running for office on her record of corporate experience?

 

Wonder how many #Yahoo users today are changing their passwords to “YahooSucks?”

In his first speech to the UN this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau talked about politicians exploiting anxiety. but in Canadia, “by appealing to people’s better angels, by drawing people together rather than stoking fears and anxieties, we were actually able to create a government that is focused on strengthening the middle class, to allay those fears and anxieties and demonstrate a positive engagement with the world.”
Waiting for Trump to demand a wall on our Northern border, and saying Canada will pay for it.

 

More Justin Trudeau “The point that is so important to emphasize is that what we found in Canada was that people are better than divisive politicians think they are.”
Your move, America.

Remember when Monday Night Football was a big deal? Now we have Thursday night, along with the weekend. Who’s going to be first with Tuesday or Wednesday Night Football?

Donald Rumsfeld, 84, says of George H.W. Bush, 92, backing Clinton “He’s up in years.” So what is any serious former defense secretary’s excuse for backing Trump?

Kathy Miller, one of Donald Trump’s Ohio campaign chairs, in an interview with the Guardian, “If you’re black and you haven’t been successful in the last 50 years, it’s your own fault. You’ve had every opportunity, it was given to you…I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected.”
#wearegoingtoneedabiggerbasket

 

Regarding Hillary Clinton on “Between Two Ferns,” I thought she did a good job. Hillary was never going to be the cool mom down drinking with your friends in the basement. But she was going to be the mom who cleaned up the mess and made sure no one ended up in the hospital or arrested.

Monday night madness.

September 12, 2016

If this keeps up Los Angeles is going to ask St. Louis if they would would take the Rams back.

And the 49ers wonder why they can’t get fans to games, besides having a lousy team. ESPN’s Darren Rovell -“Two and half hours before Rams at 49ers, cheapest get-in ticket on StubHub is $35. Cheapest team parking spot? $69!”

 

 

Oakland 16, KC 3 on Monday.  Wait, didn’t the Raiders play yesterday?

After Saturday’s loss to CMU, Okla State coach Mike Gundy says he only wants to play nonconference home games with Big 12 officiating crews. Because his own conference refs NEVER make mistakes…?   Or because they understand the importance of avoiding upsets of top teams who bring the conference money  for bowl games.

 

Hope no #Samsung executive ever prayed for their #GalaxyNote7 to be the hottest phone in the world?

Carrie Tolstedt, the woman who oversaw the Wells Fargo community banking unit where the fake account scam happened left the bank in July. She got a $124.6 million golden parachute.
“I am shocked” said nobody.

 

 

An Indiana fertility doctor has been charged with obstruction of justice. Prosecutors said the 1970s and 80s, he allegedly impregnated perhaps 50 women, who thought they were using medical school donors, with his own sperm. So will his defense be he wanted to be the next father of our country?

Donald Trump says he will release his medical records “soon.” Like he released his tax returns “soon” after he promised them this January?

Trump today said “this last week I took a physical I’ll be releasing – when the numbers come in, hopefully they’re gonna be good, I think they’re gonna be good.” Well of course, the bestest greatest numbers, they’re going to be huge.

No joke. Conspiracy theorists are now opining that Hillary Clinton is seriously ill or worse and has been replaced by a body-double. #BeammeupScottietheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet

 

As Trump and Clinton battle hard for the swing state of Virginia, thinking after tonight’s MNF game either of them would get a major boost if they promised on their first day in office to ban Dan Snyder from owning an NFL team.

 

Think I’ve got it: Professional athletes regularly have illnesses and injuries. When they pretend they are fine and play through them for big games it’s proof of what heroic men they are. When a woman presidential candidate pretends she’s fine and shows up at an important event when she has pneumonia, it’s more proof of her duplicitous nature.

 

ESP from TC?

“Kaepernick will be the backup for tonight’s game. His role is to enter the game if it’s a blowout, take snaps and go down on one knee.”

 

Pay no attention to the man behind or in front of the curtain?

From Marc Ragovin “So Donald Trump is going to discuss his medical records this week with Dr. Oz. Trump and Oz is a very appropriate coupling.”

It’s not easy being green.

August 10, 2016

And now both an Olympic diving pool and swimming pool have turned green. Maybe we could have done with Michael Phelps’ saying that everyone pees in the pool.

 

So today the multi-millionaire NBA superstar players living on a secured luxury ship had a somewhat close win over a team with 2-3 NBA players living in dorm conditions. Ah, the Olympic dream. USA! USA! USA! ‪#‎USAvsAustralia‬.

Not sure the real explanation as to why the water in ‪#‎Olympics‬ diving pool is green.  But it’s one way to get divers out of the pool promptly post dive.

 

 

Nice showing by ‪#‎Switzerland‬ against ‪#‎USA‬ But really “beach volleyball” in Switzerland? Makes as much sense as ‪#‎AmericasCup‬ there. ‪#‎Rio2016‬

Can we stop referring to ‪#‎SFGiants‬ on 2nd & 3rd base as “Runners In Scoring Position.” It’s just getting cruel.

But today the Giants did manage to win 1-0 without a single hit with runners in scoring position.  (Crawford home run)

My day job is in the travel business. Somebody just sent me an invitation to become a Trump hotel specialist. Somebody doesn’t know me very well.

A partial power loss on the new light-rail line to Denver International Airport is causing delays. But I am sure the airlines will be as sympathetic to passengers as they expect travelers to be when carriers themselves have delays. ‪#‎Sarcasm‬

Let’s put what Trump said another way. What if Hillary Clinton stood up at a rally and said, “If we elect Donald Trump he will appoint judges to overturn Roe v. Wade. nothing you can do, ladies. Although you Second Amendment women, maybe there is, I don’t know….”
I’m sure the Donald would laugh it off.

 

One of many criticisms of Hillary Clinton is that she made money after leaving office, and now is running for President. Especially after when Giuliani, Romney, Jeb Bush all left office they never did anything for profit before they decided to run…. ‪#more‎sarcasm‬

So ‪#‎MaliaObama‬ might have smoked a joint at a Chicago concert. Kudos to @POTUS & @FLOTUS for raising a normal child.

Man arrested today for climbing ‪#‎TrumpTower‬. Waiting for @realDonaldTrump to tweet ‪#‎TweetTower‬ has best climbers ever, better than Everest.

Donald Trump is blaming yet another controversy, the one involving “Second Amendment people” on the media. Yep, the dastardly media, who persist in reporting exactly what he says.

This text exchange just was revealed between two of Chris Christie’s top aides during the New Jersey Governor’s 2013 press conference about Bridgegate:
“Are you listening? He just flat out lied about senior staff and Stepien not being involved.”
“I’m listening. Gov is doing fine. Holding his own up there.”
“Yes. But he lied. And if emails are found with the subpoena or emails are uncovered in discovery if it comes to that it could be bad.”
Time for the GOP to start talking about Hillary’s emails again.

Bill Littlejohn reports that “Tim Tebow says he doesn’t want to be a ‘sideshow’ in baseball.Right–he’s not done being one in football”

In this corner

June 9, 2016

Justin Bieber apparently lost when he got in a fistfight with another fan after game 3 of the NBA Finals. On the brighter side, he reportedly put up a better fight than the Warriors.

When you’re down 3 to 1 in ‪#‎StanleyCupFinals‬ isn’t calling it a “must win game” redundant? ‪#‎Sharks‬

 

The way the ‪#‎SJSharks‬ play on the road vs. at home might they request the ‪#‎NHL‬ to play ‪#‎StanleyCup‬ game six in Pittsburgh?

Mac Williamson hit his first home run for the SF Giants last night. Reports were he traded a signed ball and bat for the ball. Wonder if the signed items had Posey and Bumgarner’s names on them?

My friend Darren forwards the information that the SF 49ers are favored in ZERO of their 2016 season games..  And somewhere in Ann Arbor you can hear the giggling

Colin Kaerpernick says that while he and his “team” were looking at “different opportunities”, now “I’m a 49er and excited to work with Chip and his coaching staff. ” Translation, not as if anyone else really wanted me anyway.

According to Philadelphia Magazine, 46% of voters said that the Phillie Phanatic would make a more qualified President than Donald Trump. Well, and on top of that, who doesn’t love the Phanatic?

Apparently after NBA Finals game 2, assistant coach Phil Handy went off on the Cavs with a tirade about their performance and questioned the team’s toughness. Maybe Cleveland hired the wrong coach.

#‎DraymondGreen‬ did have best line from game 3: “They came out like their season was on the line, & we came out like it was peaches & cream.”

Headline in Cleveland today? “All you don’t need is Love? ‪#‎Cavs‬ ‪#‎KevinLove‬ ‪#‎NBAFinals‬

Apparently three women are trying to raise $30 million for a super PAC titled “Women Vote Trump” So is this to support the Donald or to provide those women with mental health support?

 –

‪#‎PresidentObama‬ is endorsing ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ today. Wonder if he told her in a 3 a.m. phone call?

But really, in 2007 what was less likely, that Obama would be elected, or that he would end up endorsing Hillary?

#‎HillaryClinton‬ says ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ should delete his ‪#‎Twitter‬ account. Why? His tweets have to be one of the best things for her campaign.

 

Elizabeth Warren tonight “Donald Trump is a loud, nasty, thin-skinned fraud who has never risked anything for anyone and serves nobody but himself.” You know, Senator Warren could be really impressive if she would just stop sugarcoating things.

Going pro, or rather semi-pro

June 8, 2016

Kentucky coach John Calipari said the Philadelphia 76ers should select the Wildcats’ Jamal Murray as the No. 1 pick in the June 23 NBA draft. So what did Murray ever do to him?

Johnny Manziel is allegedly still holding out hope for a return to football in 2016. “Give it up already,” responded Tim Tebow.

 

#‎SteveKerr‬  asked about ‪#‎Cavs‬ aggressive start after the first quarter of game 3.. “What did you see in response from your guys?” “Not a whole lot.” ‪#‎Popwouldbepround‬ ‪#‎GSWvsCLE‬

But so  what ‪#‎Cavs‬ needed to compete with ‪#‎Warriors‬ was for ‪#‎KevinLove‬ to get a concussion? Heck, a Cleveland  teammate might have clocked him sooner.

.-

“The Greatest” wanted his funeral to be free and so 15,000 tickets were given away in Louisville. Now of course, people are trying to sell the free tickets on Ebay etc. Ali family spokesman Bob Gunnell said “I’m personally disgusted and amazed that someone would try to profit off of Muhammad Ali’s memorial service.”
“Disgusted,” I get. “Amazed….?” Someone hasn’t been paying attention.

 –

‪#‎BristolPalin‬ has married her baby daddy. And millions of Americans are asking “Which one?”

Guess resort fees aren’t enough. MGM Resorts International in Las Vegas is now charging for parking at all their properties. Ah, for the days when the only bandits in town were the one-armed variety.

Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for two years for using PEDs. And at the same time Hillary wins the Democratic nomination we are reminded it’s not always a good thing when women prove they can be equal to men.

Bill Nye “the Science Guy” says that conservatives need an “epiphany” to attract younger voters. Okay, “science” is one strike against him, does Nye really think it will help his cause to use high-faluting words like “epiphany?”

#‎Kasich‬ is holding steady at about 11% in ‪#‎CaliforniaPrimary‬ . That’s about as high as he got in most states when he was still campaigning.

Despite Hillary Clinton’s winning California by about 13%, the networks didn’t call the primary win for her until about 4a. In related news, the same networks are saying the Golden State Warriors still have a pretty good chance to win the NBA championship.

Email from Bernie Sanders today “The struggle continues.” Yes, it does. But the arithmetic does not.

 

Convicted rapist and former Stanford swimmer Brock Turner  is apparently filing an appeal, even with his slap-on-the-wrist sentence.   Hmm, can someone make up some #20minutesofaction” t-shirts for Turner to give to his future wife and/or daughters?

 

The Guardian has leaked a letter that convicted rapist Brock Turner sent to the judge in his case “I’ve been shattered by the party culture and risk taking behavior that I briefly experienced in my four months at school. I’ve lost my ability to obtain a Stanford degree. I’ve lost employment opportunity, my reputation and most of all, my life.” ‪#‎getouttheviolins‬

 

 

Stuart Anderson, founder of the Black Angus Steakhouse chain, has passed away at the age of 93. No details on services yet, but no doubt coupon discounts will be available.

No rush

June 8, 2016

Today Californians went to the polls. And readers who don’t like my political stuff might want to skip down several items,  or until the next post.

And for those of us who live in the state, all those annoying primary election ads will finally be over with. The general election ads start tomorrow.

 

You can call ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ a lot of things. But especially given the alternative, people need to get used to the idea of calling her ‪#‎MadamPresident‬.

Absolutely amazing, my California Assembly district 24 is in the middle of Silicon Valley, has been home to Hewlett, Packard, Jobs, Ellison, Zuckerberg etc. And it’s MIDNIGHT election night and we still don’t have more than 71% of the vote counted. Ah technology….

 

No network yet calling ‪#‎CaliforniaPrimary‬ for ‪#‎Hillary‬ or ‪#‎Bernie‬, at 1230a June 8. Maybe they’ll go out on a limb before ‪#‎Dem‬ convention.

Would support ‪#‎Obama‬ for 3rd term if there weren’t an amendment, but time for ‪#‎Sanders‬ to do as ‪#‎Hillary‬ did in 2008 ‪#‎begracious‬ ‪#‎getonboard‬

Really? Now today’s anti-Hillary social media rant is that she was wearing an expensive Armani jacket during a speech on inequality. And if she just wore mass-market clothes she’d be accused of being dowdy and not supporting retailers.

 

Donald Trump said tonight he will deliver a “major speech” on the Clintons next week. Like Trump’s “major announcement” in 2012 on Obama’s birth certificate?

Trump says now his comments about judges were “misconstrued.” Is that the Donald’s way of saying “Oops, even I might have gone too far this time?”

Lindsey Graham is urging Republicans to rescind their endorsements of Donald Trump after the Donald’s racist comments about judges. Nice start, Senator Graham. Now how about going the next step – as in “We can survive four years of Hillary Clinton, we may not survive four years of Donald Trump.” ‪#‎justsaynotoTrump‬


Albert Suarez has had two starts in the major leagues. Both for the SF Giants. Both times he left with a lead. The first save was blown by Santiago Casilla, tonight’s game was lost in the 10th by Casilla.  Maybe the next time Bochy has to get Suarez out of a game, he can promise to keep Casilla out too?

Madison Bumgarner said in an interview that he isn’t much for souvenir baseballs, but he wishes he had the one he threw to Perez for the last pitch in the 2014 World Series. The ball was popped up for a foul out and was last seen in the possession of Pablo Sandoval. Let’s hope Panda didn’t eat it.

Someone hacked ‪#‎NFL‬ twitter feed to announce falsely that ‪#‎RogerGoodell‬ had died. Out of habit, Goodell will be punishing the ‪#‎Saints‬.

In Missouri, a 15 year old boy apparently accidentally shot himself taking a selfie. Sad, because he was just a kid. But definitely a Darwin award junior division. ‪#‎Ifonlyhewasarmed‬. Oh, wait, never mind.

United Airlines has a new program called “Celebrate by United” where you can order something Duty-Free and have it delivered to a friend or colleague on-board an international flight. Flight attendants must be so thrilled. ‪#‎whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬?

Amazing sidebar to the ‪#‎BrockTurnerRapist‬ story. He has a sister. Just wondering if father ‪#‎DanTurner‬ would be so sympathetic to a young man if she had been raped in college. ‪#‎20minutesofaction‬

Plenty of good guys at Stanford too:  http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/hero-grad-student-describes-catching-stanford-rapist-article-1.2664718

Is there a draft in here?

April 30, 2015

The Cleveland Browns are apparently discussing a trade to get Marcus Mariota. Who’d a thunk it? For the 2015 season, a team appears to have more confidence in Tim Tebow than one has in Johnny Manziel.

 

Apparently North Dakota Rep. Randy Boehning has admitted now that he is gay after a man who he sexted on Grindr outed him over his hypocritical voting record. All these closeted creeps must be longing for the good old days when the only way you’d probably get found out was propositioning an undercover officer.

Really eerie watching all the players stand for the National Anthem at Camden Yards with no fans in the stands. Former NLers Adam LaRoche and Ubaldo Jimenez must have felt like they were about to start a game at Dodger Stadium.

 

The Houston Rockets fired their head of social media. For tweeting an image of a horse with a gun pointed at it, with the comment “it will all be over soon” as Houston was about to sweep the Dallas Mavericks. Tacky. Although inn the grand scheme of things, there have been worse tweets.

But from someone who was HIRED to be an expert in social media? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

The NFL has “voluntarily” given up their tax-exempt status. Meaning one of two things. Either the league figures Congress was close to actually doing something before an election year. Or their tax accountants have figured out another way to avoid paying.

 

Jack Ely, 71. who sang “Louie Louie” with Ely and the Kingsmen in 1963, has died. It may not the greatest recording all time. But “Louie Louie” probably holds the record for the song which has had the most brain cells destroyed while listening to it. ‪#‎Toga‬!

 

Eight home runs in 21 innings in 2015 for Ryan Vogelsong. I know Vogelsong is trying to secure his place for the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ after Matt Cain returns, but someone should tell him the Giants already have a BP pitcher.

It’s only April, but Alabama CB Cyrus Jones has become the fourth player on the team arrested this spring. For two counts of misdemeanor domestic violence. Maybe Nick Saban shouldn’t be trying quite so hard to recruit players who are NFL ready?

Republicans hope to damage Hillary Clinton with allegations that the Clinton Foundation took money from foreigners who hoped to benefit from her State Department decisions. While GOP 2016 Presidential candidates have hauled in hundreds of millions already from Super PACs. Well, makes a certain amount of sense, guess they feel politicians should be bought and paid for right here in the USA.

Reports are that so far this year North Korea’s Kim Jong Un has ordered the execution of 15 senior officials who were accused of challenging his authority. And President Obama’s got to be thinking “You can do that?”

 

 

Florida Congressman Mario Diaz-Balart has attached a provision to a Dept. of Transportation appropriations bill to bar any new flights or cruise ships to Cuba, saying it’s because of the President’s “shameful eagerness to appease dictators.”

Guess I’ve missed Diaz-Balart’s efforts to break off relations with, amongst other countries, Saudi Arabia.

Beep, beep.

April 25, 2015

Police finally trapped a coyote they had been chasing in lower-Manhattan this morning. Wonder if they lured him with an ACME sign.

So many of the headlines on Bruce Jenner and his “I Am a Woman” comment reference him as a “reality TV star.” I guess those of us who think “Wheaties” and “Gold medal” are really old….

So for fans of watching heads explode, can we ask all the GOP Presidential candidates what they think of Bruce Jenner coming out as a a Republican?

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, talking about the “coarseness:” of society, for example, “the constant use of the “F-word” – including, you know, ladies using it… If you portray it a lot, the society’s going to become that way. It’s very sad,”

Of course, Scalia probably isn’t considering how many women who use the “F-word” are using it in response to his decisions.

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver says the league will have “full-throated conversations” about eliminating “Hack-A-Shaq’ strategy, saying it’s “not great entertainment for our fans.” Well, heck, if that was the criteria this year the NBA might have eliminated the 76ers and the Knicks.

If Adam Silver really wants to get rid of the “Hack-A-Shaq” strategy, why doesn’t he propose locking some of these clowns in a gym with a lot of basketballs until they can learn to shoot at least 50% of their free throws?

 

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are apparently paying Josh Hamilton $75 million to go away. And you thought maybe your boss didn’t like YOU?

 

The New York Times has reported that Russian hackers had access to President Obama’s emails after infiltrating the White House and the State Department’s unclassified computer systems last year. So does this make Hillary Clinton look like a genius?

Mary Pat Christie, wife of the New Jersey governor, has quit her $475,000-a-year job on Wall Street, fueling speculation that Chris will announce soon that he is running for President. In the meantime, will the family join the Cruz’s on Obamacare?

The ‪#‎Astros‬ are not off to a good start in their annual chase for ‪#‎MLB‬‘s number one draft pick.

Headlines now about the Google executive killed on Everest with the Nepal earthquake. Alas perhaps again illustrating the quote, especially with the U.S. media, “One death is a tragedy, one million is a statistic.”

Apparently in China, a small turnout at a funeral indicates the deceased was not well-liked and can disgrace a family. So some familes are hiring strippers to perform at the services. Wonder how many men are reading this and thinking “hmm, time to rewrite my last wishes.”

 

Or as my friend Elizabeth says ” “Wonder how many more men plan to attend funerals? “Hey honey, I’d love to help around the house, but I have another funeral to attend.”

Six players from Kansas City Royals and Chicago White Sox were suspended for their role in a serious brawl last week. On the brighter side, they’ve all been offered post-season tryouts with the Chiefs and Bears.

 

There are plenty of reasons to criticize and disagree with Hlllary Clinton. But regarding her “evolution” on gay marriage, is she any different than many people? Ten years ago a Wash. Post/ABC poll found 39 percent of Americans supported same-sex marriage with 58 percent opposed. The same poll last week found 61 percent in favor, 35 percent opposed. ‪#‎thetimestheyareachangin‬

Young and old

April 12, 2015

Congrats to Masters’ champion Jordan Spieth. And how young is Jordan? The first people he hugs after his win are his parents.

Arlo Guthrie is on a “50th Anniversary Alice’s Restaurant Tour.” Well, now you can still get anything you want, if you can remember what it is you wanted.

Hillary Clinton today announced her candidacy for the Presidency. The speech was sponsored by Captain Obvious.

Pence, Ishikawa, Cain, Peavy, Belt… Now the latest SF Giant to get injured this year was Casey McGehee last night with a strained knee. Has someone informed the team that “Eight Men Out” is not a desired goal for the home opener?

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim seem determined to dump Josh Hamilton. Well, if they’d eat most of his salary maybe the SF Giants should take a chance on him? ‪#‎poweroutage‬

 

The NY Knicks and Orlando Magic, both lottery teams, combined for 15 points in the second quarter of Saturday night’s game. 15 points combined. Not a typo. And more than a few college one-and-dones suddenly thought, maybe staying in school another year doesn’t sound that bad.

 

Anneget Raunigk, 65, of Berlin, already has 13 children, and is now 21 weeks pregnant with quadruplets, using donated sperm and eggs. Even the Octomom is thinking “Is she nuts?”

On a brighter note, Raunigk should be transitioning to diapers about the same time she trains her toddlers out of them.

Overhead (for real) at farmer’s market. Woman runs up to husband “Why are you in line here?”. He says “It was a long line. Figured their stuff must be good.”.

There was a “fatal incident” Sunday at the Richard Petty Driving Experience at Walt Disney World in Orlando. The attraction, which was scheduled to close in late June anyway, allows tours to drive NASCAR at speeds of up to 165 mph. Let’s hope the victim wasn’t texting at the time.

 

 

Rand Paul today, “Some of the hawks in my party, you can’t find a place on the globe they don’t want boots on the ground.” For a guy who can be bat sh*t crazy, Paul does have these astonishing moments of making sense.

In Cleveland, a 3-year-old child apparently fatally shot a 1-year-old boy in the face. If only the baby had been armed.

 

 

 

A 2 year-old who fell into the Cleveland Zoo’s cheetah enclosure after being dangled over the edge by his parents is recovering. Apparently mom and dad went into the exhibit to rescue him, but as a local TV station reported “the cheetahs made no attempt to interact with the child or the child’s parents.” Making the big cats in this case, much smarter than the humans. #Cantfixstupid

 

Marc Ragovin,  “What a remarkable display of golf at the Master’s. It left me …. Spiethless”

Busted and broken.

March 5, 2015

Hunter Pence may have a broken arm after being hit by a pitch from Chicago Cubs prospect Corey Black. So is this the Cubs’ strategy to win the NL this year? Start eliminating the competition?

Harrison Ford has apparently been injured when a small plane he was piloted crashed onto a Southern California golf course. Was Ford trying to adjust his left blinker at the time?

Some very smart high-energy dogs, like Border Collies and Jack Russell terriers, can be great to have around, but they are easily bored. Which means when they have nothing to do, they FIND something to do. Now, how would you like to be Bruce Bochy with a sidelined Hunter Pence hanging out in the SF Giants dugout?

And we thought the Jeter circus was over. Today Brian Cashman said – “As far as I’m concerned, and I’m not the decision-maker on this, that captaincy should be retired with number 2. I wouldn’t give up another captain title to anybody else.” So Jeter isn’t just the most-hyped Yankee ever, he’s the most important Yankee ever? ‪#‎sowhenwillNYmakeJetersbirthdayaholiday‬?

With all this flap over Hillary’s emails, wonder if Joe Biden is begging reporters to ask about HIS emails? Somebody, anybody want to read them? Please?

The woman who was sexting with Anthony Weiner now is claiming that an unnamed Democratic politician from the Midwest sent her texts begging to be “to be tied up and left in a closet.” Ah for the good old days when men just picked up prostitutes in hotel bars.

 

Your daily Florida item?    A Fort Myers man is claiming he fatally shot his neighbor in self-defense. Then he put the body in his pickup and drove to his lawyer’s office. Come on, Texas and Arizona, catch up!

So regarding Daniel Murphy and his “gay lifestyle” comment, what’s a “gay lifestyle?” Know gay working parents and couples who seem to have a lifestyle that doesn’t differ much from my heterosexual friends. Is he implying single gays hook up more often than single heterosexuals. Think the success of Tinder would indicate otherwise…..

Meanwhile, regarding that “heterosexual lifestyle, ”  Chris Soules, the “Bachelor”, is apparently now going on “Dancing With The Stars.” Is it just me, or is it seeming increasingly likely this guy isn’t ever going back to farming in Iowa?

The Pittsburgh ‪#‎Steelers‬ are apparently set to release ‪#‎TroyPolamalu‬. So sad, forget the face, he’s been the hair of the franchise.

A Delta flight today landed at New York’s LaGuardia airport and skidded off the runway into a snow bank. So did they at least give passengers credit for the extra distance traveled in their frequent flier accounts?

LaGuardia announced today their airport was is closed due to a runway “incident.” “Incident?!”. Right. Better I guess than saying “We gotta broken plane that’s stuck in a snowbank. You gotta problem with that?”

 

From T.C.  “A Delta flight skidded off the runway this morning during a steady snowfall at New York’s LaGuardia airport. Passengers evacuated safely and were bussed to a nearby Delta terminal. The ones that paid the $5 Bus Fee, that is.”