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High and dry?

September 3, 2019

Florida State coach Willie Taggart says he thinks his team might have lost in part to Boise State because they weren’t properly hydrated.
If only the game was in a state where they invented Gatorade?

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After weeks of drama, Ezekiel Elliott’s agent says a deal with his client and the Cowboys is ‘very close.”

I really don’t care, do u?

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SF Giants have mostly played their way out of Wild Card race.  And Tuesday 1-0 loss was rough on fans.    On the other hand, not as rough as Mets blowing a 10-4 lead in the 9th.

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Last year’s SF Giants were near the wild card race until September too, when Pablo Sandoval also ended up out for the year.  #Coincidence?

 

Travel rant. Do you know how hard it is in a small country like Ireland to be 180 miles from Dublin?
Mike Pence managed to do it, by staying at Trump’s money-losing resort at taxpayer expense. And also at taxpayer expense flying back and forth from the West Coast of the country to the East Coast.
Seriously, LIVERPOOL, England is about 20 miles closer by air to Dublin than Doonbeg.

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Pence’s Chief of Staff said, Trump said “‘Well, you should stay at my place.’ ”

“It wasn’t like a, ‘You must.’ It wasn’t like, ‘You have to…”

Right because who would feel pressured at all when replacing your boss on a business when they “suggest” you do something?

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Latest mass shooter in Odessa apparently failed a federal background check, but got his weapon in a “private sale.”
Now, imagine if US said  (just for one example), “To save lives, we’re now going to regulate opioids more carefully, but hey, if you buy them privately get as many as you want.”

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Kroger announced they will no longer allow open-carry in stores. What a shame for all those who felt they absolutely needed to be armed to get the best peaches.

And PSA for those who don’t live near a Kroger.  “Our longstanding policy is that firearms are not permitted in our stores – with the exception of law enforcement personnel. Safeway/Albertsons does not permit weapons of any kind in our stores.”

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Actually keeping score?

August 29, 2019

Ok. I get that some people think I’m a little obsessed to be stressed about Democratic Presidential primaries this early. And yet there are folks who are seriously stressed about the scores of week 4 pre-season NFL football.

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With back-to-back home runs today, Minnesota Twins broke the major league record season for most home runs on the road. which was 138. And there’s a full month left in the season.
But sure, Barry Bonds is the one whose home run total should have an asterisk…

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At least for remainder of season can 2019 SF Giants officially retire the term “home field advantage?

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Two weeks after Chris Davis had a dugout confrontation with manager Brandon Hyde, Orioles reliever Richard Bleier and 3rd-base coach Jose David Flores also ended up in a public shouting match in the dugout.
Baltimore fans just wish the team would show that much energy on the field.

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Alex Trebek is back at work taping the new season of “Jeopardy!,” five months after being diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

“What is really good news?”

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Travel rant.  Austrian Airlines and Lufthansa are offering a scheduled LEGAL connection between a Vienna to Frankfurt flight and a Frankfurt to San Francisco flight that is 45 minutes!?!
So will transfer assistance be provided by flying pig?

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The latest wannabe mass shooter at High Point University told police he was trying to get into a fraternity and that “if his roommate got into a fraternity and he didn’t, he had a plan to kill his roommate and himself.”
But no, we don’t have an epidemic of white male privilege.

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Interesting timing. Trump wants G7 at Mar-a-Lago and mean bitch Karma along with Mother Nature remind him. “Dude, it’s hurricane season.”

 

Well, since most bugs can’t swim Hurricane Dorian might take care of the Doral bed bug problem.

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Trump today canceled his trip to Poland.   Guess it’s just as well Trump had already canceled Danish part of European trip. Does anyone think Mother Pence would have let Mike have dinner with the very attractive Danish Prime Minister?

 

 

Does anyone think Trump would have canceled his trip if he were scheduled to go to Buckingham Palace? Or to one of his rallies?  Or to one of his golf resorts?

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The bigliest dogs?

April 14, 2018

(and yeah, this post is out of order. Can we blame Trump?)

 

QB Mark Sanchez suspended 1st four games of 2018 NFL season for Performance Enhancing Drug use. Well, whatever he took, it didn’t work.

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Sebastian Janikowski, 40 has signed with Seattle Seahawks. Wonder if Adam Vinatieri texted him “Good luck, young man.”

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Let’s be real, if Colin Kaepernick was as much of a star now as Reuben Foster he could kneel AND be charged with felony domestic violence and still have a job.

Dez Bryant story today illustrates a sports-truism – you can be an a**hole, only as long as you’re a super-star a**hole. #Cowboys

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Derek Jeter won’t attend Marlins games in NY, saying “it would be an awkward situation for me to actually go to Yankee Stadium.” Because he’s no longer in pinstripes,  or because Giancarlo Stanton is hitting .220 with 25 strikeouts?

 

So sad about #HueyLewis losing his hearing and canceling concerts. But these days kind of a relief to see him trending & finding out it’s not for sexual harrassment or dying.

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Mueller apparently has found out that despite his disavowals,   Michael Cohen actually WAS in Prague in 2016.  Czech mate?

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What Scooter Libby did in exposing Valerie Plame was treason. It endangered her life. But hey, Trump needed to signal – there is no floor on “how low can you go?”

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Now that RNC deputy finance chair has resigned over $1.6 million nondisclosure deal for Playboy model he got pregnant, got to wonder, what other biglier deals did Michael Cohen arrange for Trump?

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For a man who hates pets Trump sure wagged a really big dog.

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I really miss when Friday nights were a relaxing time and a slow news cycle.

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If Trump bombs Syria to distract from the Cohen Prague story what is he going to do when someone finally releases the pee tape?

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Brian Williams accidentally refers to Trump as Obama in discussing Syria bombing. Standby for Fox News citing this as proof to blame everything on Obama.

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At what point does Putin think “Damn we should have just let Hillary win?'”

 

So let this be a lesson to other countries. You can use chemical weapons on your citizens if you want, but don’t do it when US President is worried about impeachment. #Syria

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Beat LA

March 29, 2018

Just thinking that over-under on number of days SF Giants might be in first place in 2018 could have easily been zero.

 

 

Yeah without Madbum and Melancon everyone had SFGiants beating Kershaw and Dodgers on Opening Day.

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So yeah, we all had first run given up by Clayton Kershaw in all of 2018 be a home run by Joe Panik….

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Happy #OpeningDay Have the Marlins been eliminated yet?

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Meanwhile, the Detroit Tigers postponed their Opening Day game. So they remain undefeated until Friday.

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Who had Kevin Durant ejected twice more this year than Draymond Green?

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RIP “Le Grand Orange,” Rusty Staub. The reason many Canadians fell in love with baseball. He really should have been Monsieur Expo.

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A Los Angeles judge has ruled that coffee sold in California should have cancer warning labels.  Uh, if we’re talking about dangers, how about a warning that says talking to a coffee drinker before they’ve had their first morning cup might be suicidal?

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So Laura Ingraham has attacked immigrants, gays, basketball players, etc.. Learning the hard way that you don’t go after white kids #Followthemoney

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Bernie Sanders sent me a fundraising email including that we need to “energize the working families of this country to come out and vote for Democrats.”
Okay, Bernie, can you start by becoming a Democrat yourself?

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If Trump has such a problem with Amazon using USPS for delivery at cheap rates, shouldn’t he quit whining and help the post office negotiate a better deal?

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“Orders process and deliver within 10-14 business days via the United States Postal Service for delivery within the Domestic U.S. only. ” Amazon? Nope, the “official Donald J. Trump Store.”

 

Stormy Daniels’ lawyer says April 30 will be hearing to determine if Trump has to testify under oath. Hmm, so who will @realDonaldTrump fire over prior weekend?

 

James Mattis to John Bolton “I heard you’re actually the devil incarnate and I wanted to meet you.” Well, some do say Mattis is the smartest man left in White House.

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Go ‘Stros

November 1, 2017

It was less than 4 1/2 years ago when Matt Cain with #SFGiants threw a perfect game against then the worst team in baseball.

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But hey, Astros have been bad so long that the stadium they were named for was built & torn down before they won World Series. #Astrodome

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I officially love A.J. Hinch. Letting his pitcher bat in 9th with a 4 run lead. #Dancewiththemthatbrungyou

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Fox talking about Jr. Home Run Derby during Altuve AB’s seemed somehow wrong. Most of these kids are taller than him.

 

Los Angeles Dodgers opening day 2017 payroll, $242 million. Houston Astros opening day 2017 payroll, $124 million.  Just saying.

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Carlos Correa, with his post game 7 marriage proposal made most women go “aww…”  and most men hoping to pull off the ultimate marriage proposal thinking – “Thanks for setting impossible bar,   a**hole.”

 

On brighter note for LA fans , children in Africa are going to be getting really good looking blue & white Dodgers World Series Champions gear.

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Also on brighter note, the 104 win 2017 LA Dodgers did get further than the 116 win 2001 Seattle Mariners.

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Not a Dodgers fan, but as a baseball fan have to feel for for Yu Darvish. A class act.

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Browns WR Josh Gordon has been conditionally reinstated to the NFL. Let’s hope he doesn’t go to Colorado to celebrate.

Actually while NFL conditionally reinstates Josh Gordon maybe they drug-test members of Browns staff involved in botched AJ McCarron trade?

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Papa John’s, official NFL pizza company, thinks player protests hurting their profits. What if Papa John’s & NFL just have lousy product?

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David Shaw says in Stanford-OSU game -“It was a gut feeling to stick with Keller Chryst.” Uh, coach Shaw, there are antacids for that.

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Another day, another powerful man (men)  accused of sexual assault. Another reason maybe we need to have more women in charge?

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John Kelly-“Robert E. Lee gave up his country to fight for his state.” Uh, Benedict Arnold gave up new country to fight for his 1st country.

 

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Before victims are buried from New York Terrorist Attack we’ve got at least two dead in shooting at Colorado Walmart. Nothing to see here. #Murica

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And meanwhile, as Trump goes on immigration tirade, 2 are dead on street in NYC East Village from apparent murder-suicide shooting.   More #Murica

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Always too soon to start talking climate change or gun control…. Never too early for @realDonaldTrump to start spewing hate.

 

Seeing #TheLionKing trending & happy to see it’s a new Disney movie w/great cast. Not documentary on @realDonaldTrump – #TheLyingKing

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Laura Bush on the Trump family “I wish them the very best.” Is that Texan for “Bless their hearts?”

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Don Jr. wants Chloe to give away candy to teach her about socialism. To teach her about zoology does he show her pics of animals he’s shot?

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No joke, Trump wants to name his tax reform plan “The Cut Cut Cut Act.” Because “Millionaire Relief Act” doesn’t have the same ring to it?

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Thinking back to Nixon and Watergate. US did get rid of Agnew first. Maybe we should start working on Pence?

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Fly the foul?

October 18, 2017

Well, Eric Cooper’s “foul ball” call on a swinging strike three ought to do wonders for  conspiracy theorists who believe Fox wants Dodgers and Yankees  in World Series? #WTF?

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Fumble call on NY Jets in Patriots game called the worst officiating mistake of the year. Eric Cooper “Hold my beer.” @Cubs

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Non-political wisdom from Gregg Popovich, on LaMarcus Aldridge “I was trying to teach him before I learned him.”

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Lebron James’ new Nike jersey didn’t even make it through one game intact, as the back of the jersey split. But to be fair, Nike paid about $1 billion for eight years to be NBA official supplier. Not like there was much money left to actually spend on the uniforms.

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The prospect of a #Yankees #Dodgers World Series is as appealing as the #USC #NotreDame game. If it happens can they both lose?

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Bulls’ Bobby Portis suspended 8 gms for punching teammate, causing facial fractures. On bright side will he be offered tryout w/ Chicago Bears?

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Billy Joel, 68 & his 4th wife, Alexis Roderick, are expecting a child. So will he endorse a new line of father-baby diapers?

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New poll found 46% of voters believe media make up stories about Trump. How many of those think #FakeNews stories make Trump look BETTER?

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Not a coincidence that @realDonaldTrump is first President in modern memory who doesn’t have a White House pet.

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Wonder if all these conspiracy rumors about a Melania body-double have given @FLOTUS ideas?

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5 people shot at office park in Maryland. Move along, nothing to see here. At least until we learn suspect’s religion & immigration status.

But guess another mass shooting  means we have to reset the clock on not being able to talk about gun control.

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So if  Washington Post is #FakeNews how come the check Trump promised a Gold Star father was just sent today after their story broke?

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Whoever thought we’d miss Sean Spicer?

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10 days after fires started, Trump finally tweets about California Wildfires. Will he next tweet plans to meet w/ President of California?

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Could have been worse. Trump could have told LaDavid Johnson’s widow  “At least he didn’t get captured, I don’t like people who get captured.”

 

I wonder if Trump showed more empathy to families of the victims of the Bowling Green Massacre?

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And then there were 8.

October 13, 2017

Congrats to Syracuse and Cal. Would enjoy this more if it didn’t mean more likelihood of 2 SEC teams in the playoffs.

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Now can someone beat #Alabama.

 

Two top 10 teams have lost before #CollegeGameDay even starts.

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ESPN  called WSU vs Call  “College Football Primetime.” It’s 1:56a on the East Coast.   WTF?

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Apparently never bet against Smokey Bears.#Calfootball #CaliforniaWildfires #bustohell

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Reminder to all those who want to dump on Dusty Baker. He didn’t tell Jose Labaton to take a long lead off 1st base last night.

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Not claiming as a woman sports fan that I know everything. And , maybe not even enough to competently discuss the physicality of routes with Cam Newton. But I sure as hell know that as the tailing runner in a late inning one-run elimination game at HOME you don’t even THINK about the kind of lead that might get you picked off first.

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Thank you #Astros & #Yankees for at least temporarily playing something recognizable as good baseball. #ALDS

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#ARod now says he used PEDs because he felt “responsibility” to bounce back from injuries since the Yankees had invested so much money in him.   Again, I think,  I like “pushed into a lifeboat”  better.

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NFL not moving #Chargers #Raiders game. League feels air will not be that bad, & they don’t need Oakland fans in a couple years anyway.

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Weinstein “We all make mistakes.” Uh, a mistake is a bad night, a bad choice, even maybe a bad relationship. Not a decades-long pattern.

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Saying young healthy people don’t need good health insurance is like saying no one who hasn’t had an accident needs car insurance.

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Trump says he met with “The President of the Virgin Islands.” Can’t wait until November when Donald travels to Hawaii

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Trump also proclaimed week of Oct. 15-21 “National Character Counts Week.” In related news , the Pot has proclaimed Oct 15-21 “National Black Kettle Week.”

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So if you’re looking on a map is Tanzaynia next to Nambia?

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Seriously, if Weinstein is just one of many powerful men guilty of criminal behavior then why doesn’t some actress speak up RIGHT NOW if she’s been the victim of someone else? The climate will never be more supportive and maybe we can remove another predator, or two, from a position of power.

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Really wild cards.

October 4, 2017

8-4, and 11-8.  Three of the four wild card teams scored more in their games than the Cleveland Browns will probably score on Sunday.

 

Who does Archie Bradley think he is? Madison Bumgarner? But seriously, who needs a DH?  #NL  #Pitcherswhorake

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Although apparently the Rockies didn’t get the memo from SF Giants.  When it matters, NEVER EVER PITCH TO GOLDSCHMIDT.

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British tennis player Dan Evans received a 1 year suspension after testing positive for cocaine. What was authorities first clue, when Evans jumped the net to congratulate an opponent, and cleared it by 20 feet?

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49ers are having issues with Levi’s Stadium over curfew issues with weeknight concerts. Unfortunately for residents who don’t like noise, at concerts, unlike 49ers games, fans stay until the end.

 

Mansplaining award to Cam Newton, who thought it was  funny when a female reporter asked about receiver routes.  Considering Newton’s less than stellar stats this year maybe HE’s the one who should be paying attention to studying routes.

 

DT Anthony Zettel has most Detroit Lions sacks in 2017. Think I speak for many women sports fans in saying hope he gets more on Sunday. #CamNewton

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ATF says Las Vegas shooter bought 33 guns in the last year. And I have to leave the country to buy one package of aspirin with codeine.

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So would @realDonaldTrump like to name ONE reported news story that was negative towards him since his inaugural that wasn’t #FakeNews?

 

Never expected to wake up in a world where the big question of morning is whether or not the US Secretary of State called POTUS a “moron.”

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But turns out  apparently NBC News WAS #FakeNews. Reports are now that Tillerson did not call Trump a moron, he called him a “f*cking moron.”

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Got it, if shooter were Muslim would have been “Radical Islamic Terrorism, if black “radical left” . Because it was a white guy. Trump said his “wires are screwed up.”

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All 5 living ex-US presidents to attend Texas benefit concert for hurricane relief. Wonder how much money they could raise in an auction  if the winning bidders got to hear them talk off-the-record about Trump?

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In 1980, the MGM hotel in Las Vegas caught fire & killed 85 people. After that, hotels started requiring sprinklers and smoke alarms. It was the smoke alarms, triggered by all the gunshots, (not a “miracle”) that allowed police to finally find the Las Vegas killer Sunday night and storm his room.
Ah for the days when innocent people died and we as a country actually learned from their deaths and changed laws.

 

Regarding all the “prayers for Las Vegas.” Look, I have no problem with prayer and those who look to God at a time like this.
But okay, we have metal detectors and airport security and a lot of other things set up in society to keep us safe – “God helps those who help themselves” Why is it so hard for some to accept the idea of sensible gun regulations as helping us help ourselves?

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Risky business.

September 20, 2017

After a child sitting five rows up was hit by a foul ball at Yankee Stadium, some are calling again for netting all the way to the foul line.
Now, no doubt it was traumatic for the kid, but over 100 years children have also dreamed of getting autographs and souvenir baseballs before and during games. Children can also be injured, for example, in cars driving to the game.

And 3-4 children a year die playing baseball, including Little League.    Should we outlaw that too?

 

Looking at various online sites, at this rate fans going to #Rams #49ers at Levis Stadium Thurs. will pay more for a beer & a hot dog than their tickets.

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Since the SFGiants brought Ryan Vogelsong back to retire a Giant, they have actually looked like a pretty decent baseball team. Coincidence?

My friend Paul S. also points out, the mini-resurgence also coincides with when we heard about Sam Dyson’s cat, Snuckles. And when Dyson brought Snuckles on the field…. Hey, whatever works.

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44 years ago tonight Billie Jean King defeated Bobby Riggs. What’s amazing now is at the time some people were shocked. #BattleoftheSexes

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Great pictures of #JohnKelly during Trumps #UNGA speech. Normally when people look that disgusted in New York they’re watching the Jets.

 

Trump on Iran nuclear deal “I have decided.” And “I’ll let you know what the decision is.” When, after the break? #PresidentialApprentice

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Seaside, CA, police chief Robert Jackson resigned after posting racist comments and conspiracy theories jokes & commentary on his FB page. Monterey County Weekly reported he didn’t understand the privacy settings: This is alarming to me. I didn’t realize it was that open to the public”
What’s more alarming, that Jackson is a racist, or that he’s stupid enough to post anything online without checking how it works?

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Trump mispronounced African country “Namibia” as “Nambia.” But give him a break,  guessing  President just heard name for 1st time from advisor yesterday.

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Trump tweet “Graham-Cassidy Bill is GREAT! Ends Ocare.”
Translation, ANYTHING is great if it ends something Obama did.

 

Sorry that #IvankaTrump had “some level of postpartum depression.” But compared with not being to afford insurance for babies w/ birth defects?

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When asked about Shanah Tovah assume @realDonaldTrump responded whatever Shanah says, she’s lying, wouldn’t have been my first choice.

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#MelaniaTrump gives a speech at UN talking about the golden rule. Donald just has his own version – whoever has the gold makes the rules.

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Trump insists people under proposed  #GrahamCassidy  bill can get covered for pre-existing conditions.   Right, exactly,  like they can buy homes in Trump Tower, if they have enough money.

 

At this point have to assume anyone in Trump administration charged w/ “draining the swamp” would charter private plane to fly & view the swamp

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Cheers and jeers

August 6, 2017

Dolphins sign Jay Cutler reportedly in part because fans were unhappy about the idea of Kaepernick. Chicago Bears fans are just giggling.

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Jay Cutler is apparently going to come out of retirement and sign with the Dolphins. So how many teams will now get calls from Brett Favre?

 

Nothing is certain except death, taxes, and that the SF pitching to Goldschmidt is a really stupid idea.

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Falcons CB Jalen Collins suspended the first 10 games of 2017 for PEDs, after being suspended the first 4 games in 2016 for PEDs.  Is the 2nd suspension for drugs or stupidity?

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After watching Mets get obliterated by Dodgers,  and the Giants actually looking good in winning two games in a row, thinking maybe New York should take a page out of the San Francisco Panda playbook and bring up at this point a minor-league talent – Tebow.

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RIP #DarrenDaulton. Really sad to watch stars you’ve watched play pass away. Sadder when they’re younger than you.

 

Two former rowers on U Washington’s men’s team have been charged with sharing videos of them having sex with drunk women, including two who don’t remember the incidents.
The men were kicked off the team when the allegations first surfaced. Heck of a way to show rowers could be the equal of big-time college athletes.

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CNN.com  headline – “beloved celebrity couple calls it quits.” So, okay, I clicked on the story – “Anna Faris and Chris Pratt have filed for separation.”

All together now, “who?”

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The manufacturer of the Fireball ride that broke apart at the Ohio State fair, killing one and injuring seven, said “excessive corrosion on the interior of the gondola support beam dangerously reduced the beam’s wall thickness over the years.”
But hey, let’s get rid of more pesky regulations.

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Ah online reviews…. Was looking for a hotel in a certain area of Dubai. W Hotel on the Palm has 4.2 ranking out of 5, 26 reviews. Which sounds great except for one thing. It is under construction and NOT OPEN YET.

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Chris Christie -Mueller’s convening of a grand jury is a “normal step.” As a former prosecutor he should know what it’s a “normal step” towards.

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Minn. Gov. Mark Dayton called mosque bombing “act of terrorism,” following in footsteps of Pres. Trump. Oh wait, crickets. Never mind.

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Trump is now quoting @protrump45, supposedly a young black conservative woman, who is actually a bot. What’s next- voting rights for bots?
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Why hasn’t Trump,on his “working vacation”, tweeted anything about missing Marines in Australia. Because no way to blame on Obama or Hillary?
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#MikePence says running in 2020 story “latest attempt by media to divide this administration.” Actually Trump divides them quite well on his own.
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Journalist Julia Ioffe, slamming Trump’s proposed immigration policy. “When you ask Trump supporters, they don’t care because she’s a different — she’s the right kind of immigrant.”
“She is a beautiful white woman from Europe, and we like those. Even though she doesn’t have a college degree.”
Well, yeah, and she’s willing to do the kind of jobs Americans won’t do… like marrying Donald.

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What were the odds?

July 31, 2017

Pete Rose now accused of statutory rape over alleged relationship with 14 yr-old when he was 34. He says he thought she was 16.  #showertime

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Why there is no satire: On the subject of signing Kaepernick Ravens beat writer Jeff Zrebiec reports Baltimore owner talked to Ray Lewis. #WTF?

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Jets rookie Jamal Adams during a CTE discussion.”Literally, if I had a perfect place to die, I would die on the field. And that’s not a lie. So how many concussions has Adams already had?

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Dodgers loading up as World Series favorites. Wonder if they’re planning the same rings as the 2001 Mariners

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LA Clippers forward Danilo Gallinari punched an opponent and injured his thumb in an exhibition game in Italy. The 2017-18 NBA schedule isn’t even out yet and already the Clippers are in midseason form.

 

For 10,000 miles, United Airlines is offering Mileage Plus members a “watch party,” which the chance to watch a road game for the 49ers on the big screen at Levi’s Stadium, complete with complimentary food, beverages and of course, traffic.
So are they asking for 10,000 miles, or giving them?

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“Dear Twitter – is it possible to undelete Tweets?” – Asking for a friend. Sincerely, A. Scaramucci.

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Scaramucci is OUT as White House Communications Director. Wow. So congrats to those brave people who had July 31 in the pool.

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Somewhere in the bushes, #SeanSpicer is giggling uncontrollably.

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#Scaramucci violated number 1 White House rule – you cannot be a crazier narcissistic media whore than the boss.

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“I’m just a rich boy, I need no sympathy
Because I’m easy come, easy go, little high, little low…. @scaramucci

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Can anyone imagine what it would be like if we DID have WH chaos?

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Well, to be fair, Trump is used to a format where the poorest contributor gets fired every week. #PresidentialApprentice

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“Did nobody tell Trump that today’s #MLBTradeDeadline didn’t apply to White House positions?”

 

Getting sense if @realDonaldTrump said, “Yeah, I colluded w/ Russia AND I orchestrated coverup” many of his supporters would still back him.

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Legislative director Marc Short -White House expects tax reform to move quickly in Congress this fall  – through the House in October and the Senate in November.   Standby for “who knew tax reform was so complicated?

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Politico says Ivanka Trump “desperately wants to lower expectations of what she can achieve.” Mission accomplished.

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Trump to a reporter today “We will handle North Korea. We are gonna be able to handle them. It will be handled. We handle everything.”
He does know “handle” and “grope” are not the same thing?

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Apparently there are now weekly bible study meetings at the White House. Just guessing the Ten Commandments aren’t included.

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So just imagine if you’ve been on 2 week vacation without internet & got back today ready for the latest craziness from Sean Spicer.

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Will being insane enough to take a job in the Trump White House qualify as a pre-existing condition? #Healthcare

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Shouldn’t all positions in Trump White House have “interim” title?

 

A really good blow-dry. #ThingsThatLastedLongerThanTheMooch

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Buying time.

June 22, 2017

LaVar Ball says that Lonzo will “take the Lakers to the playoffs in his first year.” So is he buying them tickets?

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White Sox and Twins started a game after 4 hr & 50 min rain delay. 4 hours & 50 min!? That’s almost as long as average Red Sox Yankees game.

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Derek Jeter apparently has told Major League Baseball he is looking for other investor as he still doesn’t have enough money to buy the Marlins.
Well, he can always make up the money in a year by charging Yankee Stadium beer prices.

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Cubs sending struggling World Series star Kyle Schwarber to Triple-A. Can #SFGiants do that with (almost) their entire team?

 

In last week #SFGiants have had games where they scored, 8, 9 and 11 runs. And they lost all three.

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Bill Cosby wants to do a series of town halls to tell young people how to avoid being charged with sexual assault. Step 1- become a big celebrity.

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Los Angeles police arrested a man and his son for allegedly keeping 44 pounds of cocaine at their unlicensed day care. What was their first clue…. a really really bouncy house?

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#PlannedParenthood defunded, coverage for Viagra remains. You’d almost think GOP #HeathcareBill was put together by old white men.

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Since Trumpcare cuts Medicaid it’s a good thing that contraception is covered so fewer poor people will be born…. Oh wait, never mind.

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A man from the Bronx was arrested yesterday at JFK Airport before he boarded a flight to Istanbul, allegedly to join ISIS. #Wearegoingtoneedabiggertravelban?·

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Trump has chosen a site for his big DC re-election fundraiser- the Trump hotel. “I’m shocked,” said nobody.

Trump finally says there are no tapes on day GOP Trumpcare abomination bill is revealed. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

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In Feb. #Trump gave a jobs speech at Boeing in South Carolina. Today, plant announced they would lay off 200. Surely this is Obama’s fault

 

Trump announced Jamie McCourt, former co-owner of the Los Angeles will be the U.S. ambassador to Belgium. Hasn’t the country suffered enough?

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So time for one of my serious comments : Darryl Hamilton was killed two years ago yesterday, June 22, 2015, shot in a murder-suicide by an estranged ex-girlfriend, the mother of his youngest son. She had pleaded guilty in 2008 to felony arson for burning her ex-husband’s house down in 2006… after trying to douse him in gasoline. She received 10 years probation, which prohibited her from having a gun, but a judge terminated it early in 2010, so the weapon she used was legal.

Didn’t know Hamilton that well, but he was in my experience a thoughtful, funny really nice guy who liked talking sports AND politics.  Adored his kids.  Didn’t always adore United Airlines, though he was good humored about it –  a fun and down to earth client.  He was liked, even beloved by others in baseball who knew him well.  And his ex was clearly a disturbed woman.

Laws don’t prevent all crimes. But in this country it is way too damned easy to get a gun. Period. #whenwillweeverlearn

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The odds are good but the odds are odd?

May 18, 2017

No joke, there’s actually a “Bachelorette Fantasy League” on ESPN. And if you are already signed up, you just might be in need of a life.

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United Airlines has purchased naming rights to the LA Memorial Coliseum for $75 million. Makes sense, rooting for USC is a real drag.

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Freddie Freeman, NL home-run leader, was hit by pitch and has fractured left wrist, will be out 2 months plus. Braves coming to AT&T Park next weekend, so SF Giants fans won’t get a chance to see him. Giants pitchers may not mind too much.

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Steve Kerr just followed Popovich in slamming Trump. Lebron campaigned w/ Hillary. “Failing NBA” tweets in 3.2.1…. #spurs #warriors #cavs

 

 

Blue Jays OF Kevin Pillar was upset that Jason Motte struck him out on a quick pitch, so he yelled an anti-gay slur at the Braves reliever. At this point Pillar should be suspended for a combination of inappropriate language AND stupidity.

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Trump may stop Sean Spicer’s daily press briefings. Can we start a GoFundMe campaign to have Melissa McCarthy do one in his place? @NBCSNL

 

If Trump really believes it’s a “witch hunt” perhaps he could do the test of jumping in Potomac to see if he sinks or not?

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“Biggest witch hunt in history” said man who for years was chasing a debunked birth certificate rumor.

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How long until Americans can legitimately be diagnosed with CTFS – Chronic Trump Fatigue Syndrome?

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A 42 year old man died yesterday after falling over a railing onto his head after a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. Sad. I suppose no need to include in the story that alcohol may have been involved.

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Suppose if I’m dead I won’t care. But it’s really sad that if I end up killed by a car driven by a legal resident of the US who is drunk or too old to drive, it would be a one-day story. Whereas if it was a Muslim or illegal immigrant I’d be a posthumous poster child.

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After  Times Square car crash today good to see Donald  Trump immediately demand more mental health $$ for vets. Oh, wait, never mind.

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Suspect in Times Square crash has at least  3 prior arrests, and possible “psychological problems.” Just the kind of guy whose rights the House was thinking about protecting when they overturned Obama gun law. #ifonlyhewasarmed

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Trump lies, Pence apparently lied about Flynn, Ryan could be complicit. This could be turning into real-life version of Designated Survivor.

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“If you can’t say anything nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.” Waiting for Roger Ailes blank page obituaries.

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Bill O’Reilly says of Roger Ailes that “hatred killed him.” Sexual harassment on other hand, is probably good for women’s health. #WTF?

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Really makes you feel old not just when music legend dies, but when you didn’t know his music AND he was younger than you. #ChrisCornell

 

If Trump REALLY thought Dems would be ok w/  Joe Lieberman as FBI director that’s actually scarier than if he wants Joe just to p*ss them off

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From Marc Ragovin,  “There is a movement brewing in New York to impeach the Mets bullpen.”

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Come-y on

May 3, 2017

Mildly nauseous” has now become a pre-existing condition for millions of Americans.

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Should be no place for racial hatred at Fenway Park. Real Red Sox fans know that all hateful comments should be directed at the Yankees.

 

Twenty-one airlines, one-third of the carriers who use the airport, are moving terminals at Los Angeles International,  on May 12-14-16. Good thing LAX is usually a such a calm experience. #whatcouldpossiblygowrong

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Lebron James, angry w/ beer company sending marketing tweet when he picked up bottle during game, indicates he’s a wine guy. Right, spelled w/ an H.

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A travel story headline on Miami rooftop bars “because you didn’t come to Miami to stay indoors.”  Clearly written by someone who’s never been in FL summers.

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A Florida judge called out USF football coach Charlie Strong after a player was charged with “sexual battery and false imprisonment” less than two months after another was charged with aggravated assault. In Strong’s defense is he just showing he’s ready to coach an NFL team?

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Anyone outside of hardcore Spurs & Washington Huskies fans heard of Dejounte Murray? You’re probably about to. #GoSpursGo #TonyParker

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Wouldn’t it be fun if Queen had just decided to troll Trump by making sure that #BuckinghamPalace had early morning headlines for a change?

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Think Trump might start caring about climate change if we could convince him it might damage his golf courses?

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Trump apparently will sign an Executive Order defending “religious liberty” as reason for discrimination. Calling all wiccans!

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So women who practice the Goddess religion will no longer be required to serve men? #LicensetoDiscriminate

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Just because we don’t like to hear Hillary Clinton make excuses doesn’t mean she’s wrong.

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Many complaining about Hillary’s election excuses were fine supporting a man who even wouldn’t promise to accept results if he lost.

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Trump says he will work as “mediator, an arbitrator or a facilitator” to broker peace between Israelis and Palestinians.  Two months from now “who knew that the Mideast could be so complicated?”

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Would #FireColbert be getting less traction with conservatives if Stephen excused his anti-Trump rant as locker room banter?

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Many complaining about Hillary’s election excuses were fine supporting a man who even wouldn’t promise to accept results if he lost.

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Losing it.

May 2, 2017

Greg Hardy says he’s “not a f*cking psychopath.” Right, and he doesn’t have anger issues either.

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Raiders top draft pick Gareon Conley’s first said “nothing happened” the night he was accused of rape. Now TMZ reports he said, he said he received “brief oral sex” from his accuser.
So oral sex is nothing. Does this guy want to be an NFL player or run for President?

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Real simple solution for #RedSox: Get name, address of anyone behaving like fans did w/ #AdamJones & ban them from buying tickets to Fenway.

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But really Red Sox fans, Boston at this point should be better than this.  Racial taunts are never appropriate. And really obnoxious taunts should be saved for the Yankees.

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So Joe Mixon has an NFL job and Colin Kaepernick doesn’t. Controversy is clearly a distant 2nd in the league to perceived talent.

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Stephen Curry’s was asked what he’s going to do on the Warriors’ day off in Salt Lake City –  “I won’t be riding a dirt bike.”

Too soon?  Mean bitch karma might tell Steph to be careful walking down hotel steps. #pagingJeremyAffeldt

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SF Giants pitcher Matt Moore got staked to a 4-0 lead in the top of the 2nd inning against the Dodgers, and then, after a 7 pitch 1st,  promptly gave back 6 runs in the bottom of the inning.  Not much silver lining but maybe a bit of solace for Giants fans who have wondered “if only Bochy had let Moore go one more inning in the 2016 NLDS game 4 against the Cubs.”

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Alabama’s Nick Saban will be paid $11.125 million this season. But heaven forbid someone buy one of his college football players dinner.

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American Airlines is reducing legroom on some of their flights within the US from 31 to 29 inches. Wonder if they will allow you to put your knees in checked baggage free of charge.

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Biggest mistake made with the #fyrefestival? Not hiring Sean Spicer to tell the world how great it was.

 

Understand Hillary still being focused on losing close election maybe she should have won. Can’t understand Trump’s obsession. #sorewinner

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Wonder how much we’d need to raise on a #GoFundMe page to get @realDonaldTrump to go back to that previous life he loved so much?

 

“Compassionate conservatism?” GOP Rep. Pittenger on Trumpcare pre-existing conditions. “People can go to state that they want to live in,”

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Alabama Rep. Mo Brooks on CNN. “My understanding is that (the new Trumpcare) will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool. That helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives, they’re healthy, they’ve done the things to keep their bodies healthy. And right now, those are the people — who’ve done things the right way — that are seeing their costs skyrocketing.”
Right, because cancer only happens to people who have led bad lives? #WTF?

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Trump  tweets – “change rules now to 51%. Country needs a good “shutdown” in Sept. to fix mess!”      But imagine what Obama could have done without filibuster

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Austin police say the a man was “suffering from mental health issues” when he allegedly killed a student and injured three others with a hunting knife.  He just had a hunting knife?  Maybe the guy didn’t know the GOP had overturned an Obama rule in order to defend his 2nd amendment rights.

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Just do it?

May 1, 2017

So would all these folks mad at Obama for getting $400,000 a speech be less upset if he signed an NBA shoe contract?

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RB Elijah Holyfriend may be suspended from the U Georgia football team after he was arrested and charged with “possession of marijuana of less than an ounce and possession and use of drug related objects.”
You’d think this sort of thing would be a great recruiting tool for Colorado, Washington and Oregon.

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Buster Posey has just doubled his home run total for the year with that solo shot off Kershaw  Now tied with Bumgarner.  #SFGiants

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Brewers OF Ryan Braun is out of the lineup because of “tightness in his right trapezius.” Feeling old. I remember when players didn’t have trapezii.
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Noah Syndergaard on DL & a Met fan tweeted “my wife left me, but this is worse.” Wonder what he’d be tweeting if a SF Giants fan?
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Get out the violins. When asked if the Warriors preferred to play the Clippers or Jazz. Matt Barnes – “No comparison. There’s no nightlife in Utah.” Andre Iguoudala -“The problem with Utah is that you’re just sitting there and your mind is, like, dead, because in L.A., you still got energy for the game.” #seriousfirstworldproblems
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So the San Diego gunman was white, he was shooting at black people around a pool. Many are injured and 1 woman is dead. Where’s the tweet from Trump on this one?
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SCOTUS declined to hear appeal of a California gay conversion therapy ban. Who says there’s zero good news out of Washington? #smallmercies
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Amazing how some of people furious Obama is making $$$ after leaving White House seem to have no problem w/ Trump making $$$ IN White House.
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Apparently more than two-dozen passengers were hurt, some requiring hospitalization, when an Aeroflot flight from Moscow to Bangkok encountered turbulence today.
Not that I wish harm on anyone, well almost anyone, but if you’re flying, not heading to or in the lavatory, and don’t have your seat belt on, well, that IS a wannabe Darwin award. #cantfixstupid
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It’s only May 1st, and Trump bidding for the quote of the month:
“I mean, had Andrew Jackson been a little later, you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart, and he was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War. He said, “There’s no reason for this.” People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, you think about it, why?” #WTF?
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No idea what Donald Trump’s favorite school subject was. But think we’re pretty sure it wasn’t history. Or for that matter science.
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If Abraham Lincoln was any good at all he’d have gotten the Gettysburg Address down to 140 characters.

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So when are we going to see @realDonaldTrump tweet saying Ulysses S. Grant could have avoided World War I?

 

If Trump really wants to know what Andrew Jackson felt about the Civil War, why doesn’t he ask John McCain, who served with him?

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Sean Spicer on Kim Jong-Un ” he assumed power at a young age… and he’s obviously managed to lead a country forward.” Forward to what? Although in his rivals’ cases maybe into a firing squad… #pagingMelissaMcCarthy

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Is there an outrageous statement contest at the White House we don’t know about? Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago meeting with China’s President. “Just as dessert was being served, the president explained to Mr. Xi he had something he wanted to tell him, which was the launching of 59 missiles into Syria. It was in lieu of after-dinner entertainment.” And he added “the thing was, it didn’t cost the president anything to have that entertainment.”
Yeah, missiles are entertainment. And they are free…. #WTF?

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“I, Donald J Trump, would have prevented the Civil War, WWI AND WWII. If only they had listened to me.” #TrumpTeachesHistory

 

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Out of here.

April 30, 2017

So in the end for basketball fans in Los Angeles what was the difference between the Lakers and the Clippers?

About two weeks.

(And the Lakers probably have a lottery pick.)

A friend pointed out the Nationals have scored 77 runs this week. The Giants have scored 86 runs this year.

And the Nationals haven’t yet faced the Giants bullpen.

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Thought Anthony Rendon got more RBI’s today SFGiants had in series against Padres.

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Different names, same bullpen. #SFGiants

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Think @SFGiants at this point can sign Crash Davis to get them a rainout tomorrow?  #bulldurham

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The Braves’ Freddie Freeman, tired of playing at Miller Park, referred to it as a “Little League field.” Guessing Freeman is never signing a free-agent deal with the Rockies.

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Meanwhile the Mets are making New York fans look forward to Jets training camp.

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Clippers disappointed their fans today, but saved them from humiliation against Warriors.

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But wasn’t this Game 7 between Clippers and Jazz sort of like final Christians matchup before facing the Lions?

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#Bills fire their GM two days AFTER 2017 NFL draft. #WTF? Another example why Buffalo franchise has been so successful over the years.

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I suppose i get it -$400,000 speeches by Obama make some people on both sides  uncomfortable. But how come we didn’t see this level of  complaints w/ ex-white presidents.  And vice-presidents.  And New York mayors? Etc.

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Trump on Kim Jong-Un “People are saying, ‘Is he sane?’ I have no idea,” Ironically, that’s a question rest of world is asking the US.

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Trump tweets “Democrats, without a leader, have become the party of obstruction.” Justice Merrick Garland would disagree.

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Trump on Trumpcare 2.0  “Pre-existing conditions are in the bill. I mandate it. Has to be.”  Right,  no mention of potential costs of such policies.   Spoken like a man who only got a little $1 million loan from dad.

Reince Preibus -“Changing libel laws “is something that we’ve looked at.” Would it help 1st amendment if media used 2nd? #ifonlytheywerearmed

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Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte, who once called Obama “a son of a whore,” and who said “Hitler massacred three million Jews… there’s three million drug addicts. I’d be happy to slaughter them,” has been invited by Trump for a White House meeting. #heseemsnice

8 shot, some critically, at apartment pool in La Jolla. Shooter reportedly “a white man in brown shorts.” Move along, nothing to see here.

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Is that a squirrel on the field?

April 18, 2017

If you are a fan of sports and politics,  Tuesday night was a time for serious temporary ADHD.  NBA playoffs, NHL playoffs, baseball and the Georgia special election.

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For the SF Giants returning to Kansas City for the first time since 2014 playoffs,  the question of the night as the game moved at 1-1 towards extra innings – could they pinch hit Madbum?

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MLB umpires apparently will soon be miked to explain replays. So much for the 30 seconds baseball saved with not having to throw four balls for an intentional walk.

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Carmelo Anthony, who is divorcing his wife La La, reportedly got a gentlemen’s club dancer pregnant while he was married. A shame, but in New York Melo never really seems to have scored to help the team.

 

Now  what is happening in #NBAPlayoffs2017? #Celtics trying to wrest title from #Cavs as league’s most overrated team?

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Adidas apologized for sending an email to customers “Congrats, you survived the Boston Marathon!” Did they hire PR team from Pepsi?

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AP: On day Ivanka dined w/ Pres. of China. her company won approval from Chinese govt for 3 new trademarks. Am sure it’s just coincidence.

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Apparently Fox is going to dump Bill O’Reilly.  Over-under on when O’Reilly accepts a position in the Trump administration?

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Donald Trump signed EO today telling federal agencies to implement the “Buy American, Hire American” policies.
So when will he and Ivanka start doing this at say, Mar-A-Lago and her clothing company.

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CNN reports that the  White House and Pentagon miscommunicated on an aircraft carrier’s location,  as the White House said it was heading towards North Korea, when the Carl Vinson was really heading toward the Indian Ocean.

I think I like not being able to find a battleship better when it’s a children’s game.

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Even in the South, the times, and tastes, they are a changin…. While reading about the Georgia special election in the local Atlanta Journal Constitution, saw an item that a local grilled cheese restaurant is closing, to be replaced by a Poké Bar. And it doesn’t even sell fried poké.

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Marc Ragovin  “hears that United Airlines’ engineers are designing a plane that will reduce drag.”

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Serious note, Facebook killer shot himself. Shame he did murder-suicide in reverse order. But don’t post his name. Post the victim’s  Robert Godwin..

 

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Cue the Gershwin

April 10, 2017

New United Airlines theme song –   “Rhapsody in Black and blue.”

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FCC dropped a proposal that would have allowed passengers to use cellphones in flight. Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement in the US?

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Wintry weather tonight in Chicago. Blame whoever said hell would freeze over before they raised a championship banner at Wrigley. @Cubs

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Seriously considering long light-less history of #WrigleyField you’d think Cubs might honor history with a day home opener #followthemoney

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Over 100 year drought for a #Cubs World Series win. Thanks to TV scheduling and rain many kids will be in bed before that flag is raised.

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SF Giants Jarrett Parker has a batting average. You know it’s been bad when .071 (bingo) is an improvement. #SFGiants

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LB Junior Galette was arrested after a fight during a Spring Break festival in Biloxi, MS. He was charged with disorderly conduct and failure to comply.
Normally the Redskins wait until they get on the field to be this embarrassing.

 

Not that I really wish him any harm. But I sure don’t mind seeing Sergio Romo lose a game in a Dodgers uniform for a change.

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4 shot, 2 fatally in #SanBernandino school shooting. Not “terrorism” just average US domestic gun incident. Move along nothing to see here.

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An 8 yr-old boy shot this morning in a San Bernandino classroom has died. Clearly this would not happen if our children were armed.

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The biggest problem with all these murder-suicides is that these asshole killers always do it in the wrong order. #SanBernardino

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Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley resigned today after he was arrested on campaign finance charges. Moral of story, if you’re going to be a family values Republican, have affairs on your own dime. #DavidVitter

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Sean Spicer, “if you gas a baby, expect a response.” So other ways of killing babies are acceptable?

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The @NYTImes & @ProPublica both won a #PulitzerPrize. Standby for Pulitzers overrated tweets in 3.2.1….

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Bubba Watson apologized after missing the cut at the Masters and telling a reporter “Golf is tough; I don’t know if you’ve ever played it. But writing articles is easy.”
Nobody tell Trump, in his spare time he’ll start a magazine.

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Donald Trump Jr. has announced he will not run for NY governor in 2018. And he could have gotten at least 20% of the vote.

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Right about now it might be almost as easy to defend the Trump White House on MSNBC as to do PR for United.

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Did someone tell United the man was wearing leggings?

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So after weekend’s incident will United change policy on removing people from overbooked flights? Smaller people first. Easier to carry.

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New potential advertisement for the United credit card? Priority boarding, a free checked bag & we won’t drag you off the plane?

 

From “careerbliss.com” – O’Hare International Airport Security Officers earn $25,000 annually, or $12 per hour, which is 4% lower than the national average for all Security Officers at $26,000 annually and 84% lower than the national salary average for all working Americans.
An Airport Security Officer was apparently responsible for dragging that passenger off United’s flight. #yougetwhatyoupayfor

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Seriously, and I wasn’t there, but if United was giving $800 plus a hotel and meals to get off the plane, you’d think they’d have upped the ante and tossed in a rental car..
It’s a 5 hour drive for heavens sake, even with a bathroom break.

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I see a great Lyft or Uber commercial…. for $800 guessing you could get driven to Louisville.

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One more practical thought  -okay, any halfway decent travel agent knows something about Louisville. Especially if you’ve ever booked anyone to a certain Derby in Kentucky. It’s 90 minutes from Lexington and 2 hours from Cincinnati. (United flies to both from Chicago) So a relatively easy drive if you fly crew or passengers there. #MakeAmericaGeographicallyCompetentAgain.

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On the other hand, perhaps we should thank United. For a brief not-to-shining moment they have “united” Americans in outrage.

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It’s not easy being green

April 9, 2017

 

Sergio Garcia,, who’s been playing golf professionally for almost 20 years, finally won his first major tournament.

“Amateur” said Cubs fans.

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Uh oh, #Cubs win World Series, #Trump wins election & now #MapleLeafs make NHL playoffs. Maybe we really do need to prepare for apocalypse

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Uh oh, a Spaniard wins the Masters, and Englishman Justin Rose was second. Time for Trump to impose visa limits on foreign golfers?  Make American Golfers Great Again?

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So how long until Trump tweets that #TheMasters is all well and good but Augusta really can’t hold a candle to Trump courses?

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So how long until Tiger Woods returns to the Masters as a commentator?

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Mariners proved proved today that whatever SF Giants problems are this year, bullpen meltdowns are relative. (9-3 lead to Angels blown in 9th.)

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A Palm Sunday miracle has occurred. SF Giants left fielder has a base hit.  (first of the season, only took 7 games)

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Mike Krukow says “If you have a home run in the big leagues you can hit.” Some of us long-time baseball fans going, uh Mickey Lolich.  (He hit one home run, in the 1968 World Series. Not even sure he knows how.)

(And as my friend Daniel says, for you young folks, Bartolo Colon.)

 

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Cavs blew a 26th-point 4th quarter lead to the Hawks.  So do Atlanta sports fans feel a little better?  #notexactly

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Alas, anyone who works in a customer service field who saw last night’s #LouisCK hotel monologue on SNL knows he wasn’t exaggerating.

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NFL players James Harrison, NaVorro Bowman & Marshawn Lynch may face league discipline for being scheduled to participate in the Pro Football Arm Wrestling Championship in Las Vegas this weekend.
Joe Lockhart, NFL executive VP for communications & public affairs – “Had we been asked in advance if this was acceptable, we would have indicated that it was in direct violation of the gambling policy,”
Well, heck, heaven forbid anyone ever associates pro football with gambling.

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It would be nice to wake up some morning these day without bad news.” – The World. #Egypt

 

 

Apparently a Russian computer programmer, Pyotr Levashov, who has been suspected of being involved in U.S. election hacking attacks, has been arrested in Barcelona.
Wonder what the odds are of him dying of “natural causes” while in custody.

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