Posted tagged ‘queen jokes’

Come-y on

May 3, 2017

Mildly nauseous” has now become a pre-existing condition for millions of Americans.

Should be no place for racial hatred at Fenway Park. Real Red Sox fans know that all hateful comments should be directed at the Yankees.

 

Twenty-one airlines, one-third of the carriers who use the airport, are moving terminals at Los Angeles International,  on May 12-14-16. Good thing LAX is usually a such a calm experience. #whatcouldpossiblygowrong

Lebron James, angry w/ beer company sending marketing tweet when he picked up bottle during game, indicates he’s a wine guy. Right, spelled w/ an H.

A travel story headline on Miami rooftop bars “because you didn’t come to Miami to stay indoors.”  Clearly written by someone who’s never been in FL summers.

A Florida judge called out USF football coach Charlie Strong after a player was charged with “sexual battery and false imprisonment” less than two months after another was charged with aggravated assault. In Strong’s defense is he just showing he’s ready to coach an NFL team?

Anyone outside of hardcore Spurs & Washington Huskies fans heard of Dejounte Murray? You’re probably about to. #GoSpursGo #TonyParker

Wouldn’t it be fun if Queen had just decided to troll Trump by making sure that #BuckinghamPalace had early morning headlines for a change?

Think Trump might start caring about climate change if we could convince him it might damage his golf courses?

Trump apparently will sign an Executive Order defending “religious liberty” as reason for discrimination. Calling all wiccans!

So women who practice the Goddess religion will no longer be required to serve men? #LicensetoDiscriminate

Just because we don’t like to hear Hillary Clinton make excuses doesn’t mean she’s wrong.

 

Many complaining about Hillary’s election excuses were fine supporting a man who even wouldn’t promise to accept results if he lost.

 

Trump says he will work as “mediator, an arbitrator or a facilitator” to broker peace between Israelis and Palestinians.  Two months from now “who knew that the Mideast could be so complicated?”

Would #FireColbert be getting less traction with conservatives if Stephen excused his anti-Trump rant as locker room banter?

Many complaining about Hillary’s election excuses were fine supporting a man who even wouldn’t promise to accept results if he lost.

End of a purple reign

April 21, 2016

Wolf Blitzer just referred to ‪#‎Prince‬‘s most famous song “Purple Haze.” If #Prince wasn’t dead this might have killed him.

 

Justin Bieber on Prince “He’s not the last greatest living performer.” As if that might be true of Bieber if he were last man on earth?

Trying to wrap my head around if Elvis had died during our social media era. Would have really truly broken the internet.

Next year’s Grammy’s “In Memoriam” segment has been extended by at least an hour.

Donald Trump is against the decision to put Harriet Tubman on the $20. Well, yeah, the Donald was expecting someday that Andrew Jackson would be replaced with him.

My friend Rich de Give points out that “in Canada, they’ve already named the $1 coin in honor of native son Ted Cruz.”

Rich de Give
Rich de Give They’ve already named the Canadian $1 coin for native son Ted Cruz.

So has the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ offense decided to sit games out in sympathy with an injured ‪#‎StephCurry‬?

 

OK, ‪#‎Warriors‬ fans, does tonight really mean anything other than a little good news for game 5 ticket holders at ‪#‎Oracle‬ next week?

‪#‎DwightHoward‬ is likely to leave the ‪#‎Rockets‬ in free agency. So ‪#‎Knicks‬, ‪#‎Bulls‬, ‪#‎Lakers‬, what team will Dwight underachieve at next?

Donald Trump is against the decision to put Harriet Tubman on the $20. Well, yeah, the Donald was expecting someday that Andrew Jackson would be replaced with him.

Donald Trump said if he is elected and the DOJ decides not to prosecute Hillary Clinton over her emails, he would instigate another probe “You have to do it. You have to take a second look,’ Right, because Trump did so well with Obama’s birth certificate?

A ‪#‎Prince‬ may have died today but Britain’s ‪#‎Queen‬ celebrated a 90th birthday. Congrats to her Majesty. & no we aren’t taking Elton John.

When you give Jake ‪#‎Arrieta‬ 16 runs he is pretty much unstoppable. ‪#‎Cubs

Regarding the Curt Schilling ESPN firing, sounds like the former Red Sox star pitcher has a lot in common with Pablo Sandoval – both would have longer careers if they could only keep their mouths shut.Regarding the Curt Schilling ESPN firing, sounds like the former Red Sox star pitcher has a lot in common with Pablo Sandoval – both would have longer careers if they could only keep their mouths shut.

 

Sears Holdings just announced that it will close 68 Kmart and 10 Sears stores. Shocking. Sears and Kmart still have stores?

Apparently new bills authorizing FAA require airlines to refund checked baggage fees if bags are delayed 6-24 hours. (House and Senate versions differ.) Well, who says there is no bipartisan agreement in this country? ‪#‎everybodyhatesairlines‬

 

 

Okay, hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse: “Leave it the way it is…..There have been very few complaints the way it is. People go, they use the bathroom that they feel is appropriate — there has been so little trouble.” This sane comment actually brought to you by Donald Trump?!

 

 

 

Can we have a moment of realism with all this bathroom insanity? I remember some horrific bathroom crimes, a rape and murder of a teacher in Massachusetts, a little girl killed in a Nevada casino…. no doubt there are others. Don’t remember ANY of the bad guys being transgender.