Posted tagged ‘obamacare jokes’

Embarrassment of riches?

July 25, 2017

SF Giants got 11 runs for Madison Bumgarner tonight. In his previous 6 starts they had a total of 12.  Welcome to the 2017 season.

Tonight Madbum got his first win… and his first hit.

Apparently the Red Sox  haven’t yet been soured on SF Giants third basemen.

 

Open note to Red Sox fans.  SF Giants fans know Eduardo Nunez is good player, nice guy… but get your beer ready when he’s on the bases.

John Lackey hit 4 White Sox batters today in a game at Wrigley Field. He does know Cubs are playing SFGiants & Hunter Stickland in 2 weeks?

Lebron James has been publicly very anti-Trump, but he must be at least a little happy-Trumpcare circus is distracting us from @Cavs circus.

Phoenix backup PG Brandon Knight tore his ACL & will miss entire 2017-18 season. On brighter, note, chances go up for Suns getting #1 pick.

In Topeka, Kansas, 17 people have been displaced from their homes after a woman started trying to kill bugs by setting them on fire with her lighter. Unfortunately the fire spread to her mattress and eventually to the entire apartment. Your move, Florida.

Between her “no” vote and her “hot mic”, Susan Collins has now become Democrats and Independents’ favorite Republican.

Apparently when Trump said he would create jobs he really meant he would do it by firing most of the people he first hired.

If anyone is seriously thinking about leaving their current secure job to work for Trump they should remember two words: Jeff Sessions.

Scaramucci “You’re either going to stop leaking, or you’re going to get fired.” So when is Trump going to fire himself?

Turns out the biggest cojones in the GOP Senate belong to two women senators. @lisamurkowski @SenatorCollins

Amendment we need on Trumpcare is simply a requirement all members of Congress personally live (or die) with whatever bill they come up with.

With one vote today John McCain could have gone a long way towards forgiveness for giving us Sarah Palin.

Wonder if McCain’s doctor approved of him getting on a plane so soon after surgery? At least he has a doctor to consult.

I will believe @SenJohnMcCain today only if he holds out to vote for a bill that gives all Americans the healthcare he himself receives.

Less than 6 months after being confirmed Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is “taking a little time off.” But, you know, HIllary’s stamina.

Expected lots of nasty things would be said about AG Jeff Sessions. Did not expect they would be said by man who hired him.

Trump “time will tell” if he fires #Sessions. Translation, if I can find someone who will give up their life for 6-month gig in White House.

Ann Coulter said the immigrants who died in that trailer in San Antonio “would still be alive” if we had a wall. Because trucks can’t drive through walls?#WTF?

 

Now Trump is just taunting us – “With exception of the late, great Abe Lincoln, I can be more presidential than any Pres.that’s ever held this office” #WTF?

 

 

Btw, I was a Girl Guide in Canada.    They used to have the same oath as the Boy Scouts (Girl Guides were also founded by Baden-Powell, unlike Girl Scouts.)   Anyway,  it was changed most recently in 2010.  Just guessing Trump would not approve.

Then  “I promise, on my honour, to do my best:
To do my duty to God, the Queen, and my country,
To help other people at all times,
And to obey the Guide Law.”

Now  “I promise to do my best,
To be true to myself, my beliefs, and Canada.
I will take action for a better world
And respect the Guiding Law.”

Losing it.

May 2, 2017

Greg Hardy says he’s “not a f*cking psychopath.” Right, and he doesn’t have anger issues either.

Raiders top draft pick Gareon Conley’s first said “nothing happened” the night he was accused of rape. Now TMZ reports he said, he said he received “brief oral sex” from his accuser.
So oral sex is nothing. Does this guy want to be an NFL player or run for President?

Real simple solution for #RedSox: Get name, address of anyone behaving like fans did w/ #AdamJones & ban them from buying tickets to Fenway.

But really Red Sox fans, Boston at this point should be better than this.  Racial taunts are never appropriate. And really obnoxious taunts should be saved for the Yankees.

So Joe Mixon has an NFL job and Colin Kaepernick doesn’t. Controversy is clearly a distant 2nd in the league to perceived talent.

Stephen Curry’s was asked what he’s going to do on the Warriors’ day off in Salt Lake City –  “I won’t be riding a dirt bike.”

Too soon?  Mean bitch karma might tell Steph to be careful walking down hotel steps. #pagingJeremyAffeldt

SF Giants pitcher Matt Moore got staked to a 4-0 lead in the top of the 2nd inning against the Dodgers, and then, after a 7 pitch 1st,  promptly gave back 6 runs in the bottom of the inning.  Not much silver lining but maybe a bit of solace for Giants fans who have wondered “if only Bochy had let Moore go one more inning in the 2016 NLDS game 4 against the Cubs.”

Alabama’s Nick Saban will be paid $11.125 million this season. But heaven forbid someone buy one of his college football players dinner.

American Airlines is reducing legroom on some of their flights within the US from 31 to 29 inches. Wonder if they will allow you to put your knees in checked baggage free of charge.

Biggest mistake made with the #fyrefestival? Not hiring Sean Spicer to tell the world how great it was.

 

Understand Hillary still being focused on losing close election maybe she should have won. Can’t understand Trump’s obsession. #sorewinner

Wonder how much we’d need to raise on a #GoFundMe page to get @realDonaldTrump to go back to that previous life he loved so much?

 

“Compassionate conservatism?” GOP Rep. Pittenger on Trumpcare pre-existing conditions. “People can go to state that they want to live in,”

 

Alabama Rep. Mo Brooks on CNN. “My understanding is that (the new Trumpcare) will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool. That helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives, they’re healthy, they’ve done the things to keep their bodies healthy. And right now, those are the people — who’ve done things the right way — that are seeing their costs skyrocketing.”
Right, because cancer only happens to people who have led bad lives? #WTF?

Trump  tweets – “change rules now to 51%. Country needs a good “shutdown” in Sept. to fix mess!”      But imagine what Obama could have done without filibuster

Austin police say the a man was “suffering from mental health issues” when he allegedly killed a student and injured three others with a hunting knife.  He just had a hunting knife?  Maybe the guy didn’t know the GOP had overturned an Obama rule in order to defend his 2nd amendment rights.

And then there were 68

March 12, 2017

Trump University not selected to NCAA men’s tournament. Congressional investigation needed. Clearly Obama’s fault. #selectionsunday

 

How lazy is USA getting? @ESPN now offers opportunity to pick “smart bracket” & have it autofilled in their bracket challenge #IblameTrump

Syracuse whining big time about being left out of tournament. Not much Orange could’ve done, but maybe beating Boston College & St Johns?

Nerd alert! Northwestern vs Vanderbilt in 1st round. Instead of trash talking expect compost talking.  Or at least slurs about recycling.

 

 

Notre Dame vs Princeton in a 1st round NCAA tournament. Hope Buffalo airport has room for all the private planes

 

Another bitter disappointment for Los Angeles Lakers    Team thought they had performed well enough this year for at least a six seed.

Trump doesn’t follow college basketball, so not doing #marchmadness brackets. Makes no sense, knowing nothing hasn’t stopped him before

Turning on World Baseball Classic casually and hearing “grounder to short, a chance for Crawford.” All’s briefly right with the world. #SFGiants.

Best thing about #selectionsunday Realizing that when the tournament is over it will be @MLB opening day!

And who had Israel 4-0 in the #WBC first round? Now all you liars put your hands down.

Expecting any moment now for @realDonaldTrump to tweet that Obama stole that hour last night. #daylightsavings

Last night @nbcsnl mocked Ivanka Trump w/ a perfume called “Complicit.” Donald Trump can’t decide whether to complain or have her sell it.

 

Paul Ryan “Are we providing a system where people have access to health insurance if they choose to do so? And the answer is yes.”
Right, like everyone has access to a Tesla, a boat and a four-bedroom house with a pool if they choose to….It’s all about individual freedom. #SMH

Tom Price says of Trumpcare “nobody will be worse off financially in the process that we’re going through, understanding that they’ll have choices that they can select the kind of coverage that they want for themselves and for their family.”
Right, like people can select their dream car or house. But if they can’t afford it then they are better off because they still have their money…    In this case, until they get sick.

 

 

Kellyanne Conway talking about microwaves that turn into cameras. Ooh, can we reverse this? Would be great to heat up lunch on the go.

Joe Biden “The only bipartisan thing left in America is the fight against cancer.”
Well, he’s partly right. GOP believes that both Democrats & Republicans with money deserve to survive the disease.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A league of their own

March 10, 2017

Amtrak is demanding an apology from Washington Redskins. They are proving to be an insult to real train wrecks.

 

Brock Osweiler traded to the Browns. Well, at least Brock won’t have to deal with any more playoff pressure.

The Bears have released Jay Cutler and apparently the NY Jets may be interested #samecircusdifferenttent

KTVU reports Aldon Smith, hoping to be reinstated by the NFL to play for the Raiders in 2017, was reportedly “detained” for public intoxication when a driver of a car he was in ran into a police car. The driver was detained for alleged DUI.
At 8:30 a.m. Yeah, Smith is really turning over a new leaf.

Gotta say one thing for the Tim Tebow experiment. It does detract from the Mets other hitting problems.

MLB will have a special “Little League Classic” game played in Williamsport, PA (on a regular-sized field) on Aug 20 between the Pirates and the Cardinals. In hopes of reaching more children, the Sunday night game will start at 7pm ET.
Of course, if they REALLY wanted to have children tune in they could play the game in the afternoon.

Michael Jordan at half-time of the Duke-UNC had a verbal faux pas of sorts in saying “the ceiling is the roof.” But now the phrase has caught on and his Jordan brand will be selling “CEILING ROOF GOAT” t-shirts.
Wow. Even the man’s apparent air balls have a way of banking in..

A man caused a Hawaiian Airlines flight from Las Vegas to Honolulu to divert to Los Angeles when he got in an altercation with a flight attendant over having to pay $12 for a blanket.
Just wait until he tries to buy a mai-tai in Waikiki.

EPA Secretary Scott Pruitt says CO2 doesn’t cause global warming. Waiting for HHS Secretary Tom Price to say cigarettes don’t cause cancer.

The GOP/Trumpcare bill would make it illegal to use Medicaid at Planned Parenthood, even for STDs, pap smears, cancer screenings and contraception.
Once again, four words “Pro life my ass.”

Maybe liberals should agree all American should have guns, then we can march in to doctors’ offices & hospitals to demand free healthcare.

Now Senator Tom Cotton, usually a Trump ally, says the GOP should wait for the CBO report on their replacement of Obamacare and that the bill as written won’t pass.
A lot easier to complain about something than to fix it, isn’t it?

So if Arnold Schwarzenegger runs for Senate in 2018 will he run as a Republican or a Democrat?

A man who police report has a known history of psychological problems injured seven people today with an axe today at Dusseldorf’s main train station
Scary, but just think, if he were American he could have had a gun.

 

Paul Ryan “This is the closest we’ve been to repealing and replacing Obamacare. And let me just say it again. This is the closest we will ever get to repealing and replacing Obamacare,”
Maybe if the GOP had actually spent any of the last 8 years working on new healthcare policy rather than just voting to repeal the ACA….

In need of a recharge?

January 13, 2017

The San Diego Chargers now are moving to Los Angeles. As if the city needs another NFL team not to care about.

Only person really happy about #Chargers move is Dan Snyder. Because Dean Spanos has just replaced him as most hated owner in NFL.

 

The Spurs tonight beat Lakers by 40. Last time that margin was March 1989, when LA beat San Antonio by 40.  1989.  Almost 30 years ago.  Was Tim Duncan off that night?

As more & more coaching and GM candidates sign with other teams is it time to change SF 49ers mascot to chopped liver?

Maybe Jed York is waiting to name himself @49ers coach?

Knicks have lost 9 of their last 10 games. It’s enough to make New Yorkers actually miss the Jets.

Amazon announced they will create 100,000 full-time jobs with benefits in the next year and a half in the US.
Of course, what Amazon didn’t announce is that their expansion will put about 200,000 retail brick-and-mortar employees out of work.

Small step of resistance – buy actual newspaper from time to time. This might be time when we need all free press we can get.

The SFPD says it will start apprehending “rule-breaking pedestrians and bicyclists as part of a Bike & Pedestrian Safety Enforcement Operation.”
This might be one of the few things done in San Francisco that could get bipartisan agreement. #darwinwannabes.

Senate last night made a preliminary vote against #Obamacare for pre-existing conditions, young adults on parents’ plans, & birth control. Let them eat cake while dying?

Apparently those folders that Trump pointed at yesterday when he indicated he was putting his sons in control of his business may have been full of blank paper.
Sigh, never thought I’d miss “binders full of women.”

We’re going to miss #JoeBiden too.

Earlier today Russia Today suddenly replaced the regular C-SPAN programming. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

 

In December, Paul Ryan told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that ““it will clearly take time” to come up with an ACA replacement “It’s not going to be replaced come next football season.”
Next season? Thinking that repealing Obamacare is going to be a lot like the 49ers firing Jim Harbaugh.

A new report this week shows 42% of California is now drought-free. Not all Californians know this yet, however, as they’ve been unable to read their soggy waterlogged newspapers..

Well, I guess targeted advertising has its limits – just got this email “Become a Trump Hotels Travel Specialist Today. ”

Here we go again. Full disclosure, I am a Cory Booker fan. But Trump hasn’t even been sworn in yet, and already seeing Democrats washing their hands of Senator Booker because he voted against a prescription drug amendment. He says it’s because he and others were trying to get safety standards included and another amendment covering such standards fell through. We shall see. Early days. And not saying Cory is always right. Or perfect.

But come on folks, seriously. If Democrats refuse to consider supporting anyone who isn’t 100% pure by their standards, we are going to get Trump (or Pence) re-elected. #whenwillweeverlearn

Fresh start?

January 4, 2017

Fox Sports reports that Chip Kelly, fired by SF 49ers Sunday, he wants to remain in professional football. So Chip is open to joining a team in the SEC?

 

Odell Beckham Jr. loves to complain about being singled out by officials. Well, I’m sure all those pictures of him and teammates on a party boat with apparent drugs all around,  and some of them apparently smoking joints, won’t prejudice anyone against him in this weekend’s playoffs.

OBJ recently said that “even Steve Wonder could have seen”  the missed calls.  Uh, even Stevie Wonder could have seen that posting pictures of the party was a bad idea.

Duke’s Grayson Allen started tonight after his “indefinite” suspension became one game. Well, if he were a college football star it might have been 1 quarter.

Rob Schneider just tweeted “I will put together a consortium of buyers. Please sell me the 49ers,”
So does Schneider hope to make the 49ers great again, or is he planning to use them for a long-running comedy series?

Macy’s is closing 68 stores and cutting 10,000 jobs. #IblameTrump

 

Police say a man in a town outside Frankfurt opened his front door Monday night and found that someone had built a brick wall in his doorway overnight. The wall had to be torn down for him to get out.
Wonder if the guy spent Sunday drinking Amontillado.

 

Whole Foods has a coupon in local paper for $5 off $20 in produce. That’s probably enough of a discount to get a whole extra apple.

Wonder what will happen when #Assange & #Wikileaks go after Trump administration: “It’s my nature.” #Scorpionandthefrog

Now Pence says “1st order of business is to repeal & replace #Obamacare. Replace w/ what? That great healthcare plan GOP had before Obama?

Now @realDonaldTrump picked Wall Street lawyer for head of SEC. Yet another big new alligator who will need to find room in the swamp.

Haven’t heard GOP saying it’s an outrage that Charles Manson is entitled to healthcare while law-abiding Americans are not. Because they don’t believe the latter?

 

“We have two choices: some guy living in an embassy on the run from the law…who has a history of undermining American democracy and releasing classified information to put our troops at risk, or the 17 intelligence agencies sworn to defend us. I’m going with them.”
Quote from that noted commie-pinko liberal Lindsey Graham.

Oh baby, baby

June 25, 2015

Bristol Palin has just announced that she’s pregnant. Again. Did she sign up for a bulk rate on that “born-again-virginity” deal?

Good news for ‪#‎BristolPalin‬, as an unemployed single-mom-of-two, she’ll still be able to get insurance with ‪#‎Obamacare‬.

#‎BristolPalin‬, on 2nd out-of-wedlock pregnancy -“trying to keep [my] chin up on this one.” Uh, keeping her chin up is not the problem. More like legs crossed.

So the Confederate flag is coming down across the country, and the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare. Is this all just a conspiracy to give Rush Limbaugh a coronary?

Judge Roberts, in his majority opinion upholding Obamacare did nonetheless chide that ACA is “inartful” and “does not reflect the type of care and deliberation that one might expect of such significant legislation.  As my friend Sarah B. said, that’s a more elegant way of saying what he really meant  –  “PROOF READ YOUR SH*T BEFORE YOU SEND IT TO VOTE FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!

Senator Obama voted against the confirmation of Justice John Roberts. Just wondering, has the President issued a private apology?

Chris Christie will announce Tuesday that he is running for President. How long until the Highway Patrol pulls the clown car off the road for being dangerously overweight?

A Mountain View, California man who lives near Google has an Airbnb listing for a Coleman tent in his backyard. For $46 a night, or $899 a month.  And apparently he’s turning down business.  In related news, local R.E.I. stores are reporting a rush on tent sales.

R.I.P. Patrick Macnee, 93. He will forever be known, as “”that guy who was on the Avengers with the fabulous Diana Rigg.”

As if we needed more proof that Duke’ Coach K is one of the smartest college coaches ever. Krzyzewski told ESPN that he follows “a lot of people on Twitter. under an alias. I tell my guys, ‘I’m following you.’ Then if I see something, you text them, you gotta watch…”

Down in Tallahassee, freshman QB De’Andre Johnson has been suspended indefinitely from the football team for allegedly punching a female FSU student at a bar Wed. night when she cut in front of him while ordering drinks. “Indefinitely” meaning Coach Fisher will wait to see how Johnson does in practice before deciding whether to give him another chance?

San Antonio Spurs continue the tradition of picking players who most Americans have never heard of, with names they can’t spell, from places they can’t find on the a map. And he’ll probably be a star. ‪#‎NikolaMilutinov‬

(and follow the pick with a guy from Haiti.)

From Bill Littlejohn  “Report—there are 40 quarterbacks in the NFL that will make more than Russell Wilson this year.Not only that, but 5 QB’s in the SEC, as well.”

Very bad Santa.

November 26, 2013

A Massachusetts man who played Santa Claus at a mall has charged with groping an 18-year-old woman playing an elf. Are we sure this isn’t a sequel to a Billy Bob Thorton movie?

I’m a little disappointed in the GOP. It’s been over 24 hours and I haven’t yet seen anyone tie #Brian of #FamilyGuy‘s death to #Obamacare.

A-Rod has added Bud Selig to his lawsuit against MLB, saying because the commissioner didn’t testify at his hearing that Selig “lacked the courage of his convictions.” Ridiculous. As if anyone thought Bud had convictions.

#Colts owner Jim Irsay is ranting again on Twitter about his team’s performance.  Another thing to be thankful for –  George Steinbrenner didn’t live in the social media age.

At this point wouldn’t it be faster for ESPN to announce the players in the Seattle Seahawks secondary who HAVEN’T been suspended?

Gosh times are tough. Kanye West said he needed to leave his Nike deal to sign with Adidas because “I have to provide for my family.”

The Mets and Yankees missed the playoffs, the Giants, Jets, Knicks and Nets look well on their way to doing the same. At this point the next NYC-area team to make the post season may be Rutgers football in the no-name bowl.

The only players signed for the Los Angeles Lakers next season are Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash. Maybe the team hopes to offset their costs with a big endorsement contract from Depends?

Lots of headlines about CBS ordering Lara Logan and her producer to take a leave of absence over their story on Benghazi which was based on a supposed witness who falsified his story. On Foxnews.com this story is in the entertainment section, after the story on Alec Baldwin being fired.

The story is that Alec Baldwin’s rants at photographers cost him his talk show job at MSNBC. More like his rants gave the network a chance to dump a show with low ratings.

Lakers GM manager Mitch Kupchak said today that not only will Kobe Bryant retire as a Laker, he’ll also finish his career playing on a championship-contending team. So is Kobe planning to play until he’s 50?

Britney Spears’ new album is only 36 minutes long. Isn’t that about the same length as her first marriage?

Tacky alert:    High winds may ground Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has offered to march as a substitute.

Alas poor Tom-Kat….

June 30, 2012

Forget the Supreme Court healthcare decision, here’s the news that many Americans will really care about: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are apparently divorcing. (I blame Obama.)

Responded my friend Sonia Mogha “What,  I’m moving to Canada.”

The Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes marriage lasted 5 years. That’s a lifetime in Kardashian years.

All these people complaining about the cost of Obamacare. Where were they when George W. Bush decided to start a trillion dollar war?

Now it looks like Penn State officials exchanged emails in ultimately decided not to go to the authorites about Jerry Sandusky in 2001. Even the New Orleans Saints know the Nittany Lions football program is in deep trouble.

Republicans are already starting attacks on Obamacare. To save money, they’re considering just recycling anti-Romney ads from Massachusetts.

Mark your calendars for October 3. First presidential debate. Can’t wait to see Mittens discuss constitutionality of Romneycare.

If a Republican was President, the GOP would be hailing the individual mandate as a way to get Americans to take responsibility for their own healthcare.

Contrary to popular opinion, the GOP powers-that-be are not that unhappy with Justice John Roberts. In fact they just sent him an invitation for an all-expense-paid hunting trip with Dick Cheney

-For those distracted by the end of Tom-Kat, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and his wife Anne Sinclair may also have separated, after a year where Strauss-Kahn was first charged with rape, and then with involvement in a prostitution ring. And who saw that coming?

Never judge a book by its cover: Adorable little girl in the airport lounge playing a video game. Exclamation of joy. Figure it’s something cute. She happily shows me her screen – the game is “Plague” and she’s eradicating the world with a virus.

Stocks posted a huge rally after news of a Eurozone deal. Beginning to think the most important person in this presidential election may be Angela Merkel.

from Jim Barach: Attorney General Eric Holder has been held in contempt of Congress. To which most Americans are asking “who isn’t in contempt of Congress?”

This just in…

June 29, 2012

Justice John Roberts just updated his relationship status with the Republican party to “It’s complicated.”

Days like today really make me miss Molly Ivins.

On an actual  rare  serious note  – Maybe this mattered, maybe it didn’t. But Chief Justice John Roberts has had at least two “grand mal” seizures. If he were a private citizen without employer-paid benefits, without Obamacare Roberts would have a very hard if not impossible time obtaining health insurance.

 

Patrick Gaspard, the Democratic National Committee executive director, stirred up things this morning with his tweet “It’s constitutional. Bitches.” Well, at least he didn’t say “Vagina.”

 

 

Well on some level we’re even. Europeans can’t understand why Americans make such a big deal about healthcare, and Americans can’t understand why Europeans make such a big deal about the Euro Cup.

Wonder if some of the people screaming about the healthcare decision also think we should revoke mandatory car insurance.

From Mitt Romney’s website: “As president, Mitt will nominate judges in the mold of Chief Justice Roberts and Justices Scalia, Thomas and Alito.”

Hillary Clinton just visited her 100th country as Secretary of State; she has spent 337 days on the road since she took the job. No wonder Bill Clinton has been supportive of President Obama lately.

Blackberry maker RIM has announced they will layoff 5,000 employees and delay their newest operating system. Wonder how many people read the news on their iPhones.

 

David Beckham, 37, has apparently been left off the British soccer team for the London Olympics. Maybe they got tired of him yelling at his teammates “You punks get off my field.”

The ex-mistress of  Golden State Warriors coach Mark Jackson was arrested for trying to extort money by threatening to reveal naked pictures he had sent her. Besides being a coach, Jackson is also a pastor and founded a church (True Love Worship Center International). Well, at least his lover was an adult woman.

Guess there’s no problem with immigration if you can hit a curve ball….Cuban outfielder Yasiel Puig, who defected last month to Mexico, has apparently reached agreement on a seven-year, $42 million contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers.

 

Out of date before you read this….

June 28, 2012

At the time of this posting, before 1am in California, no one really knows how the Supreme Court will rule at 10:00am ET on Obamacare. One thing we know for certain, at 7:01am ET Fox News will declare the verdict to be bad news for the President.

Referring to the upcoming Supreme Court healthcare decision, Mitt Romney said ““My guess is they’re not sleeping real well at the White House tonight. ” Of course Mitt is sleeping the relaxed sleep of someone who knows he’s got both sides of the issue covered.

The voice of experience on that healthcare mandate: “First we established incentives for those who were uninsured to buy insurance. Using tax penalties, as we did, or tax credits, as others have proposed, encourages “free riders” to take responsibility for themselves rather than pass their medical costs on to others. This doesn’t cost the govt a single dollar” Mitt Romney, USA Today Op-ed 2009

Many SF Giants fans thought a start against a Triple A was what Tim Lincecum needed to break out of his slump. Or as it turned out, the Los Angeles Dodgers. Same difference.

“Down they go, down into depths unimaginable just a few weeks ago, down where light is reduced to a flicker.”  A melodramatic novel?  Nope,  Steve Dilbeck, Los Angeles Times baseball writer, after the Dodgers were shut out for the third game in a row against the SF Giants.

The FDA approved Belvig, a new diet drug. Wednesday, although it only has been shown to result in modest weight loss. One cheaper alternative, a large generic plastic pill, to be held indefiinitely between the lips.

The president of Greece will travel on Aegean Air in economy class to a European Union summit this week. “Good move” said Angela Merkel. “What’s economy class?” asked Mitt Romney?

A new study finds that drinking at least two cups of coffee a day lowers people’s risk of heart failure. Especially since that makes them too jittery to be sedentary.

Rielle Hunter’s latest “I’m not a mistress, I’m a mom.” Guess Rielle wasn’t a big fan of those “If A then B” logic puzzles in school.

The PGA Tour is moving to a year round schedule starting October 2013. You know what that means? All Tiger, All the time.

Kate Upton and her film crew were kicked off Santa Monica pier when they got on a ride and her one-piece swimsuit broke and fell off.   Kate is reportedly now sorting through the invitations to visit dozens of other U.S. amusement parks.

One of this week’s Groupon type deals is half price Botox? Really? You’re going to have a potential toxin injected into your face and you want the bargain basement version? Not that I’m a fan of the Botox idea in general, but sounds about as appealing as day-old sushi.