Posted tagged ‘Andrew Jackson jokes’

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Just do it?

May 1, 2017

So would all these folks mad at Obama for getting $400,000 a speech be less upset if he signed an NBA shoe contract?

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RB Elijah Holyfriend may be suspended from the U Georgia football team after he was arrested and charged with “possession of marijuana of less than an ounce and possession and use of drug related objects.”
You’d think this sort of thing would be a great recruiting tool for Colorado, Washington and Oregon.

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Buster Posey has just doubled his home run total for the year with that solo shot off Kershaw  Now tied with Bumgarner.  #SFGiants

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Brewers OF Ryan Braun is out of the lineup because of “tightness in his right trapezius.” Feeling old. I remember when players didn’t have trapezii.
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Noah Syndergaard on DL & a Met fan tweeted “my wife left me, but this is worse.” Wonder what he’d be tweeting if a SF Giants fan?
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Get out the violins. When asked if the Warriors preferred to play the Clippers or Jazz. Matt Barnes – “No comparison. There’s no nightlife in Utah.” Andre Iguoudala -“The problem with Utah is that you’re just sitting there and your mind is, like, dead, because in L.A., you still got energy for the game.” #seriousfirstworldproblems
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So the San Diego gunman was white, he was shooting at black people around a pool. Many are injured and 1 woman is dead. Where’s the tweet from Trump on this one?
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SCOTUS declined to hear appeal of a California gay conversion therapy ban. Who says there’s zero good news out of Washington? #smallmercies
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Amazing how some of people furious Obama is making $$$ after leaving White House seem to have no problem w/ Trump making $$$ IN White House.
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Apparently more than two-dozen passengers were hurt, some requiring hospitalization, when an Aeroflot flight from Moscow to Bangkok encountered turbulence today.
Not that I wish harm on anyone, well almost anyone, but if you’re flying, not heading to or in the lavatory, and don’t have your seat belt on, well, that IS a wannabe Darwin award. #cantfixstupid
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It’s only May 1st, and Trump bidding for the quote of the month:
“I mean, had Andrew Jackson been a little later, you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart, and he was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War. He said, “There’s no reason for this.” People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, you think about it, why?” #WTF?
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No idea what Donald Trump’s favorite school subject was. But think we’re pretty sure it wasn’t history. Or for that matter science.
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If Abraham Lincoln was any good at all he’d have gotten the Gettysburg Address down to 140 characters.

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So when are we going to see @realDonaldTrump tweet saying Ulysses S. Grant could have avoided World War I?

 

If Trump really wants to know what Andrew Jackson felt about the Civil War, why doesn’t he ask John McCain, who served with him?

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Sean Spicer on Kim Jong-Un ” he assumed power at a young age… and he’s obviously managed to lead a country forward.” Forward to what? Although in his rivals’ cases maybe into a firing squad… #pagingMelissaMcCarthy

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Is there an outrageous statement contest at the White House we don’t know about? Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago meeting with China’s President. “Just as dessert was being served, the president explained to Mr. Xi he had something he wanted to tell him, which was the launching of 59 missiles into Syria. It was in lieu of after-dinner entertainment.” And he added “the thing was, it didn’t cost the president anything to have that entertainment.”
Yeah, missiles are entertainment. And they are free…. #WTF?

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“I, Donald J Trump, would have prevented the Civil War, WWI AND WWII. If only they had listened to me.” #TrumpTeachesHistory

 

Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
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Money money money money…

April 20, 2016

 

Former slave ‪#‎HarrietTubman‬ replaces slave owner ‪#‎AndrewJackson‬ on the $20. Mean bitch karma for the much delayed win!

 

So at this point in ‪#‎NBAPlayoffs‬ is the question less if there will be an upset than if one first round matchup will actually go 6 games?

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Although it’s April 20. So guess what folks? We’re exactly only 60 days from a possible game 7 in the ‪#‎NBAFinals‬ ‪#‎NBAPlayoffs‬

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ESPN just fired ‪#‎CurtSchilling‬. Too soon to start a pool as to when he might be hired by ‪#‎FoxNews‬?

Marc Ragovin suggested last night that after Schilling included an offensive cartoon in a Twitter post defending North Carolina’s anti-LGBT law. “Hey Curt, put a bloody sock in it.”

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Border agents just discovered a 2,600 ft tunnel from Tijuana to San Diego, with ventilation, a rail system and an elevator. Uh, Trump, about that wall…..

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Nike has ended its contract with Johnny Manziel. Alas, the QB couldn’t seem to figure out the slogan wasn’t “Just OverDo It.”

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Ted Cruz wrote a whining fundraising email about the sacrifices he is making to run for President – no sleep, no personal time, no family time…. And somewhere God is thinking. “Take a hint Ted, and go home.”

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Bernie Sanders was complaining tonight that “about 3 million” New Yorkers “were unable to vote today because they had registered as Independents, not Democrats or Republicans.”  Uh yes, that’s why they call them party primaries.
Maybe six months ago the campaign should have thought of getting people to register as Democrats if Sanders wanted to run as a Democrat….

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While some Democrats are battling over admittedly at times complicated primary rules, have to think some in the GOP are just laughing as they tighten voting rules for the general election. ‪#‎theREALthreattodemocracy‬

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Is it wrong that I’ve never watched ‪#‎LiveWithKellyandMichael‬, have no idea who’s in the right, and don’t really give a damn? .

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Is this really the best marketing line? A Sephora email says “Glow like you just came back from Rio.” Uh, with the Zika and the toxins in the water etc., have to think, could you come back radioactive too?

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Chicago Blackhawks forward Andrew Shaw, who at first claimed he didn’t “know what’s said” has now apologized for a gay slur directed at a referee Tuesday night “When I got home and saw the video, it was evident that what I did was wrong, no matter the circumstances.”
So he needed to see the video to know what he said? Does Shaw aspire to a career in politics?

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Uh oh, Ben Carson’s been on the Daily Show and now he thinks he’s relevant again…..”I think Andrew Jackson was a tremendous secretary. I mean a tremendous president…. I love Harriet Tubman,” said Carson. “I love what she did. But we can find another way to honor her. Maybe a $2 bill.”
At least he didn’t say $3 bill.

 

 

 

Just wondering, since inflation has hit everything else in the SF Bay Area, why does Facebook still cap you at 5,000 friends?

(and no, I don’t have 5,000 FB friends.  But people who I know do, and they can’t add me.  #reflectedglory)

 

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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Comments: 2 Comments