Posted tagged ‘Nike jokes’

Money money money money…

April 20, 2016

 

Former slave ‪#‎HarrietTubman‬ replaces slave owner ‪#‎AndrewJackson‬ on the $20. Mean bitch karma for the much delayed win!

 

So at this point in ‪#‎NBAPlayoffs‬ is the question less if there will be an upset than if one first round matchup will actually go 6 games?

Although it’s April 20. So guess what folks? We’re exactly only 60 days from a possible game 7 in the ‪#‎NBAFinals‬ ‪#‎NBAPlayoffs‬

ESPN just fired ‪#‎CurtSchilling‬. Too soon to start a pool as to when he might be hired by ‪#‎FoxNews‬?

Marc Ragovin suggested last night that after Schilling included an offensive cartoon in a Twitter post defending North Carolina’s anti-LGBT law. “Hey Curt, put a bloody sock in it.”

Border agents just discovered a 2,600 ft tunnel from Tijuana to San Diego, with ventilation, a rail system and an elevator. Uh, Trump, about that wall…..

Nike has ended its contract with Johnny Manziel. Alas, the QB couldn’t seem to figure out the slogan wasn’t “Just OverDo It.”

Ted Cruz wrote a whining fundraising email about the sacrifices he is making to run for President – no sleep, no personal time, no family time…. And somewhere God is thinking. “Take a hint Ted, and go home.”

Bernie Sanders was complaining tonight that “about 3 million” New Yorkers “were unable to vote today because they had registered as Independents, not Democrats or Republicans.”  Uh yes, that’s why they call them party primaries.
Maybe six months ago the campaign should have thought of getting people to register as Democrats if Sanders wanted to run as a Democrat….

 

While some Democrats are battling over admittedly at times complicated primary rules, have to think some in the GOP are just laughing as they tighten voting rules for the general election. ‪#‎theREALthreattodemocracy‬

Is it wrong that I’ve never watched ‪#‎LiveWithKellyandMichael‬, have no idea who’s in the right, and don’t really give a damn? .

Is this really the best marketing line? A Sephora email says “Glow like you just came back from Rio.” Uh, with the Zika and the toxins in the water etc., have to think, could you come back radioactive too?

Chicago Blackhawks forward Andrew Shaw, who at first claimed he didn’t “know what’s said” has now apologized for a gay slur directed at a referee Tuesday night “When I got home and saw the video, it was evident that what I did was wrong, no matter the circumstances.”
So he needed to see the video to know what he said? Does Shaw aspire to a career in politics?

Uh oh, Ben Carson’s been on the Daily Show and now he thinks he’s relevant again…..”I think Andrew Jackson was a tremendous secretary. I mean a tremendous president…. I love Harriet Tubman,” said Carson. “I love what she did. But we can find another way to honor her. Maybe a $2 bill.”
At least he didn’t say $3 bill.

 

 

 

Just wondering, since inflation has hit everything else in the SF Bay Area, why does Facebook still cap you at 5,000 friends?

(and no, I don’t have 5,000 FB friends.  But people who I know do, and they can’t add me.  #reflectedglory)

 

Leftovers

November 26, 2011

No, this isn’t a scene from a potential Power Rangers movie….it’s the one-time special Nike-sponsored Stanford football uniform.

Nike says Saturday’s uniforms -pictured above- are a “metaphor for the pulse of life and the heart that pumps the relentless engine that is Stanford pride.” I think I like “a shameless but eye-catching-albeit-ugly brand promotion” better.

Meanwhile, in the NFL on Thursday night, Poor Alex Smith. Yesterday he spent so much time on his back under large men the 49ers QB was named an honorary Kardashian.

Meanwhile, Ndamukong Suh, after being ejected for another personal foul penalty, will be out of action probably for a week or two for the Detroit Lions. Says T.C,, “well at least he has increased his chances of one day being offered a role on the Calgary Stomp-peders.”

On Thursday night during an early Black Friday sale, a shopper in a Southern California Walmart allegedly used pepper spray to keep others away from things she wanted to buy. In the woman’s defense, she claimed she was just in the spirit of Thanksgiving by sharing food with others.

But really, if pepper spray is a vegetable does this make salsa a multi-vitamin?

Harvard upset #20 Florida State tonight in men’s college basketball. This would never happen in football. Between the BCS and the scheduling gods, there’s no way Harvard would ever play FSU in college football.

The latest conservative complaint against Obama is that while he said “God Bless You,” at the end of his Thanksgiving speech the President didn’t explicitly thank God. Fox Radio host Todd Stearns, for example, said “Thanksgiving is a holiday traditionally steeped in giving thanks and praise to God.” Uh, if you asked most Americans wouldn’t they say it’s for giving thanks and praise to family, food and football?

There are rumors that people have developed seizures while watching the movie “Twilight, Breaking Dawn.” Which means millions of men will be telling their wives/partners/girlfriends- “Honey, of course I’d love to see the movie with you, but my doctor recommends against it.

Listening to announcers talking about LSU senior QB Jordan Jefferson’s “comeback.” After he was suspended from the team for allegedly kicking a guy on the ground in the head during a bar fight. But after the charges were downgraded from a felony to a misdemeanor (and the trial will be in the off-season), Jefferson was reinstated. How heartwarming.

And moving onward, another of those serious thoughts: Okay, I get anti-Wall Street, and I get anti-greed. But Occupy protests like Friday night’s to stop shopping in San Francisco’s Union Square? (Didn’t work well, but no one got hurt.)

Sorry while I’m not pro-big-corporation, I am necessarily anti-retail employees just trying to make a living selling stuff we may or may not need.

To err is human, to forgive is divine profits?

July 7, 2011

 

 

So Nike seems to be into the concept of forgiveness and has offered Michael Vick an endorsement contract.  So when is Gatorade going to offer a similar endorsement deal to Brian Wilson?  Since he is only guilty of beating their cooler.

The NBA, crying financial woes during their lockout, is disputing a NY Times blog post claiming the league is “fundamentally a healthy and profitable business.” Well, with all due respect, if things were that bad why would Joe Lacob have paid $450 million for the Warriors, one of the worst franchises in the league?

Since the MLB precedent has been set for long names that accurately reflect a team’s situation, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to start referring to them as the “U.S. Bankruptcy Court Dodgers of Los Angeles”?

Eliot Spitzer, who has been trying to rebuild his reputation after the scandal, has now had his CNN prime-time show cancelled. Well, maybe Nike will offer him an endorsement deal.

Timberwolves forward Michael Beasley was ticketed for marijuana possesion and speeding in a Minneapolis suburb next week. He was allegedly clocked at 84 in a 65 mph zone. Maybe it’s a good thing he had the pot, otherwise Beasley might have been speeding at 100 mph.

Lebron James is changing his annual bike-a-thon in his hometown of Akron, Ohio to focus on education. Here’s lesson one. If you grow up to be famous and have a big decision to make in your life, don’t announce it in a prime-time special.

 

The 2018 Winter Olympics were awarded to Pyeongchang, South Korea. We know FIFA wasn’t involved as Qatar wasn’t even amongst the top vote-getters.

A pet store in New York’s Greenwich Village has adopted a “no puppies for you” policy for drunks who have been at local happy hours. If a puppy buyer stumbles in and appears inebriated, store personnel  at “Le Petite Puppy” have been instructed to have them come back the next day when they are sober.

Shame the same standard can’t be applied before they stumble home and end up with unwanted pregnancies.

 

Okay, who’s ready to join me in this pledge. And it’s okay to repost. “I solemnly swear, being of semi-sound mind at least, that I will not ever spend one nickel to buy any book or magazine or anything that puts money in Casey Anthony’s pockets.”

Rush Limbaugh on the Casey Anthony case, talking about liberals – “when does the death of a child bother them? If the child had died in what, two years earlier in the womb, this woman would be a star, she’d be a hero.” Got to give Rush some credit, he makes Nancy Grace seem like a reasonable human being by comparison.

 

TSA spokesman Nicholas Kimball said today that passengers flying from multiple locations may encounter different reactions from security personnel because the agency intentionally tries to be “unpredictable.” Translation, when we screw up and miss something, “unpredictable” sounds better than “oh sh*t.”

 

Augie says that Elton John, much as he did with rewriting “Candle in the Wind,” has answered the question of what the Queen of England should do singing her National Anthem.

Namely retitling the anthem “God Save All Queens.”