Posted tagged ‘World Series jokes’
November 2, 2017
I miss baseball. That is all.
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Men who are Dodgers fans can perhaps at least console themselves with watching Kate Upton w/ her fiance at Astros victory parade?
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Ugh, Texans QB Deshaun Watson suffered a torn ACL in practice. Is God really pushing this year for Kaepernick to get signed somewhere?
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Notre Dame announced it will stop covering birth control for students, faculty & staff. Did someone tell the football team?
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Innocent until proven guilty. But many powerful men being accused of sexual harassment are in He Said/She said/She said/She Said situations.
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So Jeff Sessions, 71, admits to lying under oath. Well, since he can’t claim youthful indiscretion will he claim “senior moment?”
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New hidden chamber just discovered in the Pyramid of Giza. Was it the site for the first broadcast of “Larry King Live?”
Thinking right about now better for Dems to focus on 2017 elections NEXT WEEK than 2016 elections.
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Wonder how many reasons Rick Perry can give for his claim that fossil fuels prevent sexual assault?
Politics is messy. But lot of folks slamming @HillaryClinton for dredging up election to sell a book don’t have problem W/ @donnabrazile.
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In a time when America needs heroes, who knew an unlikely one might be the now former Twitter employee who deleted Trump’s Twitter account?
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3 dead in apparently random mass shooting at Colorado Walmart. Not terrorism of course because alleged shooter is white man. #Murica
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Challenge anyone to say – with a straight face – that repealing the Alternative Minimum Tax or the Estate Tax is helping the middle class. #TaxCuts
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Sam Clovis withdrew from consideration to be USDA top scientist over Mueller investigation. Not fact that he knows nothing about science.
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Not I’m against NYC terrorist potentially getting death penalty but since we do need jurors for trial not good idea for @POTUS to tweet it.
Somebody doesn’t know me very well. This invite in my email in-box this morning: Headline “You’re invited!”
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#NotTheOnion From USA Today: Other members of Mar-a-Lago, including South Florida businessman Patrick Park, have said they were promised ambassadorships in Trump administration.
Earlier this year, Park told The Palm Beach Post that he had received a handwritten note from Trump promising him the top diplomatic post in Austria — the setting of “The Sound of Music,” a favorite musical.
“I know every single word and song by heart,” he told the Post. “I’ve always wanted to live in the Von Trapp house.” Park had not been nominated as of early Thursday afternoon.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: clovis jokes, Janice Hough, Rick Perry jokes, sessions jokes, Twitter jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 1, 2017
It was less than 4 1/2 years ago when Matt Cain with #SFGiants threw a perfect game against then the worst team in baseball.
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But hey, Astros have been bad so long that the stadium they were named for was built & torn down before they won World Series. #Astrodome
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I officially love A.J. Hinch. Letting his pitcher bat in 9th with a 4 run lead. #Dancewiththemthatbrungyou
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Fox talking about Jr. Home Run Derby during Altuve AB’s seemed somehow wrong. Most of these kids are taller than him.
Los Angeles Dodgers opening day 2017 payroll, $242 million. Houston Astros opening day 2017 payroll, $124 million. Just saying.
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Carlos Correa, with his post game 7 marriage proposal made most women go “aww…” and most men hoping to pull off the ultimate marriage proposal thinking – “Thanks for setting impossible bar, a**hole.”
On brighter note for LA fans , children in Africa are going to be getting really good looking blue & white Dodgers World Series Champions gear.
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Also on brighter note, the 104 win 2017 LA Dodgers did get further than the 116 win 2001 Seattle Mariners.
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Not a Dodgers fan, but as a baseball fan have to feel for for Yu Darvish. A class act.
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Browns WR Josh Gordon has been conditionally reinstated to the NFL. Let’s hope he doesn’t go to Colorado to celebrate.
Actually while NFL conditionally reinstates Josh Gordon maybe they drug-test members of Browns staff involved in botched AJ McCarron trade?
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Papa John’s, official NFL pizza company, thinks player protests hurting their profits. What if Papa John’s & NFL just have lousy product?
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David Shaw says in Stanford-OSU game -“It was a gut feeling to stick with Keller Chryst.” Uh, coach Shaw, there are antacids for that.
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Another day, another powerful man (men) accused of sexual assault. Another reason maybe we need to have more women in charge?
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John Kelly-“Robert E. Lee gave up his country to fight for his state.” Uh, Benedict Arnold gave up new country to fight for his 1st country.
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Before victims are buried from New York Terrorist Attack we’ve got at least two dead in shooting at Colorado Walmart. Nothing to see here. #Murica
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And meanwhile, as Trump goes on immigration tirade, 2 are dead on street in NYC East Village from apparent murder-suicide shooting. More #Murica
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Always too soon to start talking climate change or gun control…. Never too early for @realDonaldTrump to start spewing hate.
Seeing #TheLionKing trending & happy to see it’s a new Disney movie w/great cast. Not documentary on @realDonaldTrump – #TheLyingKing
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Laura Bush on the Trump family “I wish them the very best.” Is that Texan for “Bless their hearts?”
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Don Jr. wants Chloe to give away candy to teach her about socialism. To teach her about zoology does he show her pics of animals he’s shot?
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No joke, Trump wants to name his tax reform plan “The Cut Cut Cut Act.” Because “Millionaire Relief Act” doesn’t have the same ring to it?
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Thinking back to Nixon and Watergate. US did get rid of Agnew first. Maybe we should start working on Pence?
Categories: baseball jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ', astros jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
October 24, 2017
Best thing about tonight’s #WorldSeries game. Big $$$ that FOX is losing on commercials because the game only went 2 1/2 hours.
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2 1/2 hours? Guessing most fans spent more time getting in and out of the parking lot.
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Curtis Granderson not on Dodgers World Series roster. So much for great interviews where he could explain (seriously) his theory that moon landing was faked.
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Actual empty seats behind home plate #WorldSeries gm 1 in top 3rd. You’d think anyone w/ that much $$$ wouldn’t need to worry about traffic.
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I miss the days when the most embarrassing news every morning usually involved the Kardashians.
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And if we didn’t have enough to be outraged about, my first Christmas catalog arrived in the mail today.
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This time Senators would have to re-title the play about selling your soul for a win from Damn Yankees to Damn Tax Cuts.
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Everyone wondering what W said to Obama to make him giggle while Clinton was talking about PR & USVI. Guessing phrase w/ “Virgin” in it.
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So much winning. It’s only taken 9 months to go from #MAGA to #AlerttheDaycareStaff
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Kid Rock “F— no, I’m not running for Senate. Are you kidding me?” Translation, being amateur in govt doesn’t look as much fun as it did?
EPA Sec. Scott Pruitt bought $25,000 secure soundproof communications booth for office. What happened to good old-fashioned cone of silence?
(but seriously, isn’t that what closing doors is for?)
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Trump tweet on today’s lunch. “So nice being w/ Republican Senators today. Multiple standing ovations!” Would GOP like to say who stood?
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Trump claims “multiple standing ovations” today at GOP lunch. If ever a time for those who respect US to have taken knee.
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If Trump really did have GOP Senators standing up during their lunch guessing it might have been because too much spice in taco bowls.
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Billionaires need a tax cut like financial companies needed relief from class-action lawsuits.
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Devin Nunes investigating 7-yr-old Russian Clinton uranium deal story debunked as Fake News. What’s next, more on Obama’s birth certificate?
GOP Senate just voted to gut Obama rule allowing class-action lawsuits vs s financial companies. Hey, in Wells Fargo & Equifax we trust.
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Let’s be clear, Senators Corker & Flake don’t oppose Trump radical conservative plans, just his style that may prevent getting them done.
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3 weeks ago Sunday, some NFL players knelt for anthem & 600 people shot in Las Vegas. Guess which still has Trump’s attention. #Priorities
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Bill O’Reilly -“Am I mad at God? Yeah I’m mad at him.” Uh, Bill, maybe it’s “God is coming and boy is SHE pissed.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Flake jokes, Janice Hough, World Series jokes
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October 23, 2017
Can we really call it the Fall Classic when it’s going to be 92 degrees for World Series game time in Los Angeles?
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Maybe Fall will refer to fans passing out in the stands.
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Now Carson Palmer who will be out for at least 8 wks. If I didn’t know better would think God wanted teams to sign Kaepernick. Or Tebow?
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SDChargers fan flying banner over StubHub Ctr: “Dean Spanos Cheap, Inept Weasel!” Same initials, could Redskins fans borrow for Dan Snyder?
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Phoenix point guard Eric Bledsoe tweeted “I Don’t wanna be here.” Suns sent him home and apparently plan to trade him. Bledsoe now says he “was at hair salon.” Missing those innocent times when this would have been biggest controversy of the day on social media.
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Billionaires need more tax cuts like the NBA needs a longer season.
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Bill O’Reilly attacked NY Times reporter confronting him on settlement. “This is c**p & you know it.” Right, Fox just paid $32 million for nothing.
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Fox News would not have paid $32 million for nothing. Only time they did was for some free agents when they owned Dodgers.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweeted “The average American family would get a $4,000 raise under the President’s tax cut plan. So how could any member of Congress be against it?”
Guessing someone didn’t go far enough in math to learn the difference between mean, median, and mode. Or hopes that most Americans don’t know either.
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Tom Hanks -Trump’s handling of soldier’s death “just seems like one of biggest cock-ups on planet Earth. “Loser Tom Hanks” tweets in 3.2.1..
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Trump tweet “There will be NO change to your 401(k).”
Someone didn’t learn from “read my lips” & “if you like your doctor you can keep your doctor?”
That moment when Megyn Kelly is attacking Fox News & John McCain is attacking a GOP President.
#whythereisnosatire
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Now Trump is accusing a Gold Star widow, Myeshia Johnson, of lying. This is MAGA?
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Amazing. Myeshia Johnson story & so many other @realDonaldTrump controversies would’ve been nothing if Trump could simply say “I’m sorry.”
If you’re trolling or attacking Myeshia Johnson, a Gold Star widow who wasn’t even allowed to see her husband’s body, you are deplorable. Period.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Bill O'Reilly jokes, Janice Hough, sarah huckabee sanders jokes, tax cut jokes, Trump jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 22, 2017
So if the Astros win the World Series will they ask Altuve if he is going to Disneyland? Even though he’s not tall enough for most of rides?
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Verlander named #ALCS MVP. Dodgers trying to talk to SF Giants to see if there’s any way they can somehow still trade for Pablo Sandoval.
Confused about all these tweets about #TheWalkingDead Is everyone talking about the #49ers or #Browns?
Well, at least Falcons didn’t break their fans’ hearts tonight vs. Patriots.
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Took OT to do it but Browns held serve on their quest for 0-16. Though they were more than matched by 49ers.
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After 0-2 start, Saints are 4-2 and in first place in NFC South. Hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.
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Looking like all Cowboys starters could have knelt for anthem, been benched, and Dallas would still have beaten 49ers.
With Justin Timberlake doing Super Bowl half time assume it’s too much to hope for that he might do a version of “D*ck in a box?
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Maybe it would be faster and easier if all the women in Hollywood who WEREN’T assaulted by Harvey Weinstein came forward?
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All these outraged at Federica Wilson calling out President, didn’t seem to have a problem when it was Joe Wilson calling Obama a liar during the State of the Union.
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So Weinstein case somehow taints all Democrats, but O’Reilly case is a witch hunt & not like he ever did anything for GOP anyway. #WTF?
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WH insists it’s inappropriate to criticize four-star general. Except Colin Powell, John Allen & any others who disagree with Trump.
Jimmy Carter “media harder on Trump than any other president.” Puts Trump in tough position, dare he tell base he agrees w/Jimmy Carter?
First Harvey Weinstein, then Roy Price, now James Toback. Wonder what other Hollywood men are worried about being next?
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John McCain, reminding many of us again how in the pre-Palin days he used to be our favorite Republican: “One aspect of the (Vietnam) conflict by the way that I will never ever countenance is that we drafted the lowest income level of America and the highest income level found a doctor that would say that they had a bone spur….”
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From TC “NBA coach Gregg Popovich has blasted Dotard many times. I wonder if he may offer tribute to him by suggesting to rename his team “The San Antonio Bone Spurs”.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, altuve jokes, astros jokes, Janice Hough, weinstein jokes, World Series jokes
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November 3, 2016
World Series Game 7 was moved up 8 minutes from a 5:08pm to a 5:00pm start, ostensibly to try to get it over before the rain came. Had it started at the scheduled time, that rain delay, instead of giving the Cubs a chance to regroup, would have happened before the bottom of the 9th, possibly meaning Chapman could not have pitched, certainly giving him more time to stew about the blown save.
Hmm, Hillary Clinton is a Cubs fan, where’s the Congressional investigation?
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So if #SFGiants really want to win #WorldSeries again in 2017, maybe they don’t need to sign a closer, just another ex -Oakland A or two..
Time to start a pool on how much Roger Goodell fines Richard Sherman for this one? “The league isn’t fun anymore….they say we’re trying to influence kids, and that’s their biggest thing. That’s their biggest ploy is you don’t want to be a bad influence to kids. You don’t want to be a bad role model. And I can agree with that. But in the same breath, you can’t say Budweiser is the official sponsor of the NFL, and we’re trying to influence kids. ”
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And on the league talking about player safety “That’s for public perception. They don’t care about player safety. But they do care about paying the quarterback $20 million and him missing a season. They do care about that.” #whenShermanisrightheisright
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Lots of outrage on the internet because Neiman Marcus is selling precooked, ready-to-heat-and-serve collard greens for $66. Even Whole Foods is stunned. They would have charged $99.
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A Mississippi lawyer is suing Popeyes after he says he choked on a piece of fried chicken. His claim is that because the restaurant didn’t give him a knife, he had to eat the chicken with his hands instead of cutting it into bite-size pieces.
Uh, how about suing his parents, who didn’t teach him how to chew?
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#MelaniaTrump gave a speech today about cyber bullying. This is like #BillClinton giving a speech on marital fidelity.
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#MelaniaTrump today “Our culture has gotten too mean.” Sounds like she pays as much attention to what her husband says as #MikePence does.
Ted Cruz, who famously said at the RNC convention “Vote your conscience,” is now stumping for Donald Trump. But it’s not as Ted is contradicting himself on conscience – he doesn’t have one.
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Interesting election side note: Both Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump have detractors, and neither are beloved in their own parties, But while many big names in the GOP have publicly turned on Trump, no major Democrat that I can think of has turned on Hillary. And as a life-long Democrat, I can tell you, it’s NOT because we’re the organized party.
From an anonymous friend about bipartisan pre-election “inner peace..
“A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives during this political season, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I’d started & hadn’t finished.
I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu hav no idr how fablus I feel rite now.
Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.”
From Bill Littlejohn: “In the wake of the Cubs’ World Series title, scholars say that at least 45% of the prophecies of Nastrodamus will have to be researched and re-interpreted”
Categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: election jokes, Goodell jokes, Janice Hough, melania jokes, Oakland As jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
November 2, 2016
So expecting the @Cubs to repeat in 2124?
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After tonight I am really going to miss baseball. But I am NOT going to miss Joe Buck.
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Clearly the worst position in sports to be in is to have a 3-1 series lead? #Cubs #Indians #Warriors #Cavs
Well that was fun, so what time is game 8? #WorldSeries
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So many ex-A’s making a difference in #WorldSeries maybe @Athletics should get a playoff share.
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#DavidRoss becomes only man in @MLB history to hit home runs off both #AndrewMiller & #MarkGrace #WorldSeries
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Try explaining this game to someone who’s never paid attention to baseball before? #WorldSeries @Cubs @Indians
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And even to serious baseball fans, what is this sport being played by pitchers who can’t go 6 innings?
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Time to just cancel school in #Chicago & #Cleveland tomorrow already? #WorldSeries #Game7 @Cubs @Indians
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We interrupt warm fuzzy World Series feelings to remind everyone about the Cubs’ owners, the Ricketts famiiy. They launched “Future45,” a conservative PAC who want the 45th President to be a Republican. They spent big against Bernie, and are now spending many millions in pro-Trump attack ads against Hillary Clinton.
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Today is #NationalStressAwarenessDay How could have I forgotten that?
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#AnthonyWeiner mess is disgusting enough to make Democrats long for good old days when our most problematic douchebag was #JohnEdwards.
Awful morning news to hear two policemen ambushed and fatally shot in Iowa. Waiting for Trump to angrily tweet about the news for his campaign. Oh, wait, American-born white male suspect with a Confederate flag Never mind.
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#PaulRyan campaigns across the country for #GOP like he’s playing Password, and #Trump is the secret word he can’t say.
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Trump tweet today about how he is “going to repeal and replace ObamaCare. We will have MUCH less expensive and MUCH better healthcare.”
Of course Trump won’t tell us how he’s going to do this. Like everything else it’s a secret….
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So some GOP congressmen are now worried about a potential impeachment crisis with Hillary Clinton over emails. Haven’t they been planning already to come up with some impeachment reason on Nov 9? When they could find time between votes repealing Obama.
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In North Texas, someone blocked an official polling place sign with a Trump sign, and glued razor blades into the bottom of the placard. A poll worker sustained minor cuts while removing it. #Stayclassy
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 3-1 jokes, A's jokes, Cubs jokes, election jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
November 1, 2016
While we attack political pandering in the US, give White Sox fan Barack Obama major props for not pretending to root for the Cubs in the World Series
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Mets closer Jeurys Familia was arrested yesterday for alleged domestic violence. Shocking NY fans who thought all Familia hit in October was other teams’ bats.
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Add #Familia to the list, along with #Chapman, of closers #SFGiants want nothing to do with.
New ad #JeurysFamilia: “I’m a baseball fan. I’m a Mets fan. I’m NOT A FAN of domestic violence.” Not a fan because he is a DV player? Sigh
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Eagles WR Josh Huff was arrested this morning. He was allegedly speeding while in possession of a gun AND marijuana. So is that the NFL arrest trifecta?
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Sean Payton yesterday “We’re the only league that has officials that have primary other jobs, which is really madness. We can pay these guys. They should be full-time NFL officials, and they should be working throughout the week, communicating”
Can’t wait to see how much Roger Goodell penalizes the Saints for this one.
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Washington LT Trent WIlliams the latest NFL player suspended four -games for violating the league’s substance-abuse policy. But he can still work out and go to team meetings, so should be back and fresh in plenty of time for any potential postseason. Other than the lack of pay anyone but me thinking these wrist-slaps are almost a mid-season vacation?
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The SF 49ers are allowing the most points per game, and are averaging the fewest yards in NFL. Talk about a well-balanced team.
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As the FBI absurdity continues have to think that private meeting Bill Clinton had with Loretta Lynch on the tarmac is making Hillary angrier even than she was about Monica.
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Anti @HillaryClinton ad during the #WorldSeries Sponsored by NRA. Another reason to say #ImWithHer
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If Wikileaks & FBI about to leak every email sent in last 10 years to national media, I’m sure most Americans would have nothing to hide.
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Monday the FBI just happened to release documents about Bill Clinton’s pardon of Marc Rich (remember him?) in 2001. Then they issued a tweet about the files today. Anyone still think the bureau is impartial?
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Shall we start a pool on what documents @FBI will release tomorrow? #VinceFoster, #Whitewater, @HillaryClinton’s report cards? #WTF?
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Regarding John Kasich’s choice to write in John McCain instead of either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump, wonder if he plans to run for President again in 2020. When no doubt the Ohio Governor would tell Americans he is ready to make the really tough choices facing this country.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, familia jokes, fbi jokes, Janice Hough, Mets jokes, Wikileaks jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 28, 2016
Jon Stewart, when he quit “The Daily Show” in 2015. “I’d covered an election four times, and it didn’t appear that there was going to be anything wildly different about this one.”
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Another reason baseball is the BEST sport. In a 1-0 game you can’t just play keep-away & try to run out clock. #WorldSeries #Indians #Cubs
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The World Series reminds us again that #As really are a farm system for the rest of MLB. #Crisp #Zobrist #Lester #Russell #Davis #Otero
While the SF Giants are not in the World Series, Giants fans had to like to hear ESPN’s play-by-play announcer Dan Shulman on Indians pitcher Tomlin “”he can handle bat though he’s no Bumgarner.”
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The U.K. Telegraph finally posted an interview with Bob Dylan saying he “absolutely” wants to attend the Nobel Prize Ceremony “if it’s at all possible.”
Actually, Dylan probably gave the interview on the day he won the award, it’s just taken them this long to translate it.
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A recent Chapman University poll showed that 32% of Americans are afraid of climate change, while 42% are afraid of clowns. #BeamMeUpScottieThereIsNoIntelligentLifeOnThisPlanet
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In a debate with Tammy Duckworth, who is a Purple Heart winner from the Iraq War and double amputee, Sen. Mark Kirk made a jab at her mother’s being from Thailand. Among those who have criticized him, KellyAnne Conway. Thereby answering a question “How low do you have to go to be called out by the Trump campaign?”.
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Today is #NationalChocolateDay. And women are going “Isn’t EVERY day ‘National Chocolate Day?'”
Pac 12 Commissioner Larry Scott, answering a reporter’s question about a TV contract that has Cal playing back-to-back weeknight games during a tough academic period. “That hasn’t been a parameter, academic schedules per se, so it hasn’t come up… Well of course not, the idea of big conference television contracts started with the SEC. #whatacademicschedules?
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An American Airlines flight at O’Hare caught fire when a tire apparently blew on takeoff. Expect flight delays. And for United Airlines to immediately institute a tire maintenance fee.
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“New” Clinton emails may be from #AnthonyWeiner. Will #FBI agents reading them get hardship pay for needing to take so many showers?
No doubt Hillary Clinton is furious over the alleged Anthony Weiner messages being used to reopen her FBI email investigation. On the other hand, she has to be very thankful sexting wasn’t an option during Bill’s time in the White House.
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Rumor today that if Hillary Clinton wins she would like to name Biden as Secretary of State. Wonder if this means Joe, who would be 81, wants to run for President in 2024?
From T.C. “Tickets for this weekend’s games at Wrigley will average $5,000 ea. Of course, this includes Steve Bartman’s ticket. The Cubs gave him $10,000 to go watch the game at a bar in Miami.”
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, chocolate jokes, football jokes, Janice Hough, mark kirk jokes, Trump jokes, Weiner jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 24, 2016
There is a petition being circulated to replace Joe Buck with Bob Uecker for the World Series. They had me at “replace Joe Buck.”
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In the December 2014 Foster Farms Bowl matching Stanford and Maryland at Levi’s Stadium, so few fans were interested that organizers closed off the upper bowl of the stadium and moved everyone down to the lower levels.
So for future home games, how much worse do the 49ers have to get before the team decides to do the same thing?
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#NFL wonders why TV ratings are down & then Seahawks and Cardinals play to a 6-6 tie in overtime on Sunday Night Football.
General Mills said today they will produce limited-edition Girl Scout cookie cereal, in both Thin Mint and Caramel Crunch flavors. Isn’t it easier to just eat cookies for breakfast?
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Saddest thing about this election? Molly Ivins is not still on earth to cover it.
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Monday – October 24- was the last day to register to vote in California. So presume everyone who has not voted has forfeited bitching rights until next election!
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Elizabeth Warren to Trump “nasty women have really had it with guys like you. And on November 8. we nasty women are going to march our nasty feet to cast our nasty votes to get you out of our lives forever.”
Sometimes even the best SNL skit is no match for reality. #YouGoGirl
Despite Donald Trump’s anti-Muslim comments, a recent Zogby poll showed 12% of Arab-American Muslims said they’d vote for him. Guessing 99% of that 12% are men?
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This sort of thing would be funnier if it weren’t true: Trump, denying his latest accuser “And she’s a porn star. You know, this one that came out recently, ‘he grabbed me and he grabbed me on the arm.’ Oh, I’m sure she’s never been grabbed before.”
Can just imagine the Donald’s response on the subject of marital rape…
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Last week President Obama said that while people worry about being “left behind” with globalization “To try to pull-up a drawbridge on trade would only hurt us and hurt our workers.”
To which Chris Christie no doubt responded “Uh, you don’t need a drawbridge.”
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Trump’s daughter-in-law Lara, asked about any “October Surprises” today, responded “There’s still a couple of days left in October. So, we’ll see, we’ve got some stuff up our sleeve.”
Yeah, sounds like she’s become a Trump alright.
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Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway claimed that her boss would love more debates “the country benefits from those type of forum and we’d be willing to do another one if somehow they can squeeze it in.”
So is Conway really working for the Donald? Or for Alec Baldwin?
–Donald Trump today, trying to feed the hand he’s been biting “Go out and vote and that includes helping me reelect Republicans all over the place. He then added: “I hope they help me too! It’d be nice if they help us too, right?”
Someone really should tell the Donald that there is this thing called the internet that keeps track of every insult you say.
Marc Ragovin “After watching the Giants/Rams game, I am surprised the Brits haven’t severed relations with the US.”
Categories: debate jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, girl scout cookie jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, NFL jokes, Trump jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 22, 2016
Since the Indians won in 5 games there’s was no baseball Friday night. Sad premonition of winter.
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Although with a possible Chicago-Cleveland World Series, maybe we will have the first WS game called for snow?
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NY Giants coach Ben McAdoo, on kicker Josh Brown, accused of repeated domestic violence against his ex-wife. “We’re not going to turn our back on Josh.” Hmm, based on the allegations seems like it’s women who should be careful not to turn their backs on him.
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Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick says despite the Fighting Irish’s disappointing start, Brian Kelly “will lead this team out of the tunnel opening day next year.”
Of course, Swarbrick didn’t say if it would be as coach or highly-paid waterboy.
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AT&T is apparently going to buy Time-Warner. Yeah, that breakup of the phone company in 1982 because they were too big and dominant has worked well.
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Twitter, Amazon, Spotify and other sites were down today at times due to a major cyber attack. The horror. Millions of Americans in their offices were actually forced to work.
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At first, the Trump and his campaign were a joke. But then when it looked like he had a real chance, many thought he would get serious. Then when he won the nomination, many thought he would get disciplined. Then when he began losing to Hillary Clinton, many thought he would get focused. And some STILL think that actually winning the Presidency would turn him into a statesman….
#Heiswhowethoughthewas
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So was that #DDoS attack that took down #Twitter from Russia? As in maybe even #Putin thinking “STFU Donald, you’re kllling our chances?
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For all those who are debate junkies (or just gluttons for punishment), and are worried about going through withdrawal – David Duke has just qualified in Louisiana to share the stage in the final Senate candidate debate.
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The trial in the Trump University lawsuit begins Nov. 29. And Donald Trump’s lawyers want what he has said during the campaign to be excluded, saying the admission of such evidence would risk “irremediable prejudice” and a “waste of time.”
Just wondering, where do they think they will find an unbiased jury pool?
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So now that we’ve run out of other important stuff to argue about in this election, we have Eric Trump, who apparently got a free water glass at In-and-Out Burger, and used it to steal lemonade. His father must be so proud of those baby steps.
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Richard Branson said Donald Trump told him years ago that five people had not helped out with a bankruptcy and he was “going to spend the rest of his life destroying these five people.” Hmm, so is Donald really running for President or “Count of Monte Cristo?”
That moment when you realize that no joke you could possibly write will probably trump reality – as you hear that the Donald will be giving a major policy speech Saturday at Gettysburg.
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From Marc Ragovin “Curt Schilling said that Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer cost his team by “dicking around with a drone.” In response, Schiilling’s former ESPN Baseball Tonight partner Dan Schulman said, “Oh yeah, well I spent two years droning around with a dick”
(joke, not a real quote :))
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: david duke jokes, gettysburg jokes, hacking jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 2, 2015
Harold Reynolds tonight in the World Series compared Matt Harvey, who pitched a great game, to MadBum. Uh, not exactly.
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For who compare Terry Collins’ decision to let Harvey finish to 2014 Game 7 remember, Bochy probably couldn’t have wrestled Madbum off mound.
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Not sure but in this #WorldSeries maybe God decided to gently tell Daniel Murphy that He/She doesn’t disagree with the “gay lifestyle.”
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Had to love Fox analysis before World Series Game Five “This is a must win for the NY Mets.” Ya think?
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Bad news for baseball fans – no more games until 2016. Good news for baseball fans, no more Joe Buck until 2016
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In retrospect, so how good were the Houston Astros? #closesttobeatingtheRoyals
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Tony Bennett singing before the World Series. Did MLB sign him up earlier in 2015 because they figured the #SFGiants would be back in it?
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All the hype over the Rodgers-Manning matchup with Packers-Broncos today, and Brees and Eli Manning put them both to shame.
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It’s easier to laugh when you win. After the Saints win, coach Sean Payton joked “Brees had 7 TDs but we told him the game ball was going to the kicker”
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Entering the 4th quarter, Drew Brees had 6 TD and 6 incompletions.
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Had that Washington State field goal at the end of the game not gone wide right, a whole new generation of fans at Stanford would have grown up debating the tuck rule.
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While the Saints and
Giants were breaking records in New Orleans, fans in SF Bay Area had to watch the 49ers Rams game.
#GregHardy left today’s game with an apparent knee injury. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.
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An allegedly drunk woman is recovering with serious hand injuries after being bitten by a tiger on Halloween night – she said she had sneaked into the zoo to pet the tiger. Nope, not Florida. Omaha. Looks like Nebraska is making a strong play in this week’s #cantfixstupid competition.
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The NFL International series now has three games a year in London, so Brits get to see six franchises. And every year seems like one of them is actually a real professional team. #nottheLions
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A white female South Carolina sheriff captain has been criticized for dressing up as Bob Marley for Halloween, with a t-shirt featuring a marijuana leaf, and wearing blackface. She has apologized, says she had no idea it might be offensive, and has not been disciplined.
Okay, maybe she isn’t racist, but can you suspend someone for criminal stupidity?
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Paul Ryan, who made family time a condition of running for House Speaker, said today he will not support legislation guaranteeing paid family leave. “I don’t think people asked me to be speaker so I can take more money from hard-working taxpayers, so I can create some new federal entitlement.”
In other words, I got mine, the rest of you suckers are on your own.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: harvey jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, madbum jokes, Mets jokes, Saints jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
November 1, 2015
Ohio State starting QB J.T. Barrett, 20, was arrested for alleged DUI after police saw him trying to evade a checkpoint. Urban Meyer has suspended him for the Buckeyes’ game against Minnesota, Nov 7, but Barrett will be back for games against Michigan State and Michigan. Well, of course he will. #UrbanMeyer
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Great timing at least on the arrest of OSU’s starting QB, he will be back from his one game suspension in time for the mid-November release of coach Urban Meyer’s new book “Above the Line: Lessons in Leadership and Life.”
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Kentucky coach John Calipari drew the order for today’s Breeder’s Cup Classic horse race. Makes sense, Calipari is a good fit with talented young athletes who don’t go to class.
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So it wasn’t the Triple Crown, but #AmericanPharoah put on another damned impressive performance. Spend 2 minutes if you can and watch the replay #BreedersCup
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Tim Tebow went as a SWAT officer for Halloween. Good thing it’s just a costume, with Tebow’s reputation for accuracy this is one guy you probably don’t ever want to see in a job needing a gun.
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So the RNC is so upset at CNBC parent NBC they have suspended future debates. But Donald Trump, who complained as much as anyone, doesn’t seem angry enough to give up the SNL hosting. #nosuchthingasbadpublicity?
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It wasn’t that long ago that if someone told you Duke was favored over Miami you would think it had to be basketball
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So how did Miami score that game-winning touchdown against Duke without the help of the Stanford band?
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Better to be lucky than good? Or lucky and good? #Stanford #wideright
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Royals fans at Kaufmann Stadium were surprisingly nice last year about the SF Giants and friendly to their fans. Just guessing that assuming the World Series goes back to Kansas City, the Mets’ Noah Syndergaard made sure that won’t happen again.
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After a costly E-4 tonight for Daniel Murphy, beginning to think that Westboro Baptist Church endorsement might not have been the best karma for the Mets second baseman.
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So the 49ers are having a disappointing season, their QB is regressing, and fans are having a hard time selling unused tickets. What does the team do… waive one of the few popular players – former Australian Rugby League star Jarryd Hayne.
Winning with class or losing with an ass? #JedYork
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In California, four cities haven’t cut their water use enough during the drought and will be fined $61,000 apiece – the Coachella Valley Water District, Indio, Redlands, and Beverly Hills. Okay, $61,000 for the city of Beverly Hills?! On Rodeo Drive that’s almost enough to buy a purse.
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On Halloween, what could possibly be scarier than the fact that Ben Carson and Donald Trump are leading the GOP polls?
Chris Christie, angry with a NY Times editorial that suggested he drop out of the Presidential race and go back to doing his job in NJ, where he has lost touch. “They are worried I will beat their candidate, Hillary Clinton.”
Uh, Governor Christie, it actually might be proof you’re out of touch if you think the Times has been pro-Hillary Clinton
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Duke jokes, Janice Hough, Miami jokes, OSU jokes, Urban Meyer jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 29, 2015
The good news, Fox didn’t lose power for game 2 of the World Series. Bad news, baseball fans had to listen to Joe Buck for the whole game.
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Tough question Wednesday night for many Americans – what was more likely to drive them to drink – listening to the GOP debate, or Joe Buck and company in the Fox World Series booth?
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So A-Rod was in the Fox broadcast booth. Is Fox trying anything that will make Joe Buck sound good by comparison? #WorldSeries
(my friend Renee says “A-Rod has a voice for newsprint.”)
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The NFL has fined Steelers’ C William Gay $5,787 for wearing purple cleats in honor of his mother and other victims of domestic violence. Even though the league has had the pink theme for breast cancer all October.
So this is because the NFL really has nothing to do with domestic violence?
#sarcasm #heavysarcasm
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Donald Trump said in a Sioux City speech “If I lose Iowa, I will never speak to you people again” #promise?
Yesterday Kylie Jenner was voted one of Time Magazine’s 30 “Most Influential Teens.” #beammeupScottytheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet
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The NY Jets signed punter Steve Weatherford last week when their regular punterr, Ryan Quigley, was sidelined due to an infection. Now that Quigley is better the Jets cut Weatherford after 4 days. Four days. That’s not a football contract it’s a Hollywood marriage.
A NORAD blump that surveys the East Coast got loose in Maryland was flying free over Pennsylvania. It has now been secured. Wonder which major airline will now institute a “blimp avoidance” fee?
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Bills WR Sammy Watkins, angry with fans complaining about him being injured, took to Instagram to call them “losers,” and add “so continue working y’all little jobs for the rest of your lives….. go have a blessed day.”
Of course, “losers” with “little jobs” in Buffalo could save a lot of money staying home from Bills games.
#Cantfixstupid
If you are reading this and didn’t know Wednesday was National Chocolate Day, you’ve just missed it. So double or nothing?
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Chris Christie, saying he’s the best choice against Hillary Clinton: “You put me on the stage with her next September and she won’t get within 10 miles of the White House.” So does Christie have a friend with control of D.C. area bridges?
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The four lowest-polling GOP Presidential candidates were on earlier Wednesday in the pre-debate “happy hour” debate. So called because you need to be getting drunk to watch it?
Bobby Jindal tonight at the kid’s table debate said that the U.S. is “going the way of Europe.” Thinking after 6 years of Jindal a lot of folks in Louisiana think Europe sounds pretty good.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, Kardashian jokes, NFL jokes, Trump jokes, World Series jokes
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October 27, 2015
Thanks to ESPN’s insisting that the MLB season start on a Sunday night, and in 2015, April 5, the World Series just got started tonight. Finally. Millions of Americans have been eagerly awaiting the November Classic.
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The World Series was actually delayed tonight over Fox’s unexplained technical difficulties. Maybe even God has had enough of Joe Buck.
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But really, Fox having broadcast outage at the #WorldSeries? Well, maybe if the network had actually practiced by regularly showing baseball this season?
During the postgame show Joe Buck talked about #WorldSeries game 2 “tomorrow in Kansas City.” Uh, Joe, after 14 innings, more like tonight.
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First time I’ve seen even a little bat flip on a sacrifice fly. #Hosmer #WorldSeries #Royals
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But give Hosmer credit, that sacrifice fly must have felt really good after he picked a really bad time to channel Bill Buckner.
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So do the #Mets have a special voodoo doll they bury near first base during the #WorldSeries?
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Harold Reynolds, doing his best to match Joe Buck on the stupid scale. “this is about as evenly matched a World Series as I’ve heard people talk about in years.” Uh, except for last year that came down to one-run in game 7?
The NY Daily News reported Tuesday night that Derek Jeter is engaged. Apparently the Yankees really really don’t like being out of the October spotlight.
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When #WorldSeries game one started Bartolo Colon had barely started shaving.
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An injured deer walked into a Rochester, NY, emergency room. Assume the staff fawned over him.
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REI says it will close all stores on Black Friday and pay their employees to be outside that day. Hope not too many of those employees decide “outside’ means waiting outside other stores
Taco Bell has introduced new croissant breakfast tacos. Yet another consequence of states legalizing marijuana?
-The Texans have released QB Ryan Mallett after he was late for meetings Saturday and missed the team’s charter flight to Miami. I can hear the cries from Houston now “Tebow, Tebow, Tebow.!!!”
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Oracle announced they will build a public charter “Design Tech” high school on its Redwood City, California campus. The idea presumably being to hire some of these kids before they do something silly like go to college.
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Walgreen’s is acquiring Rite Aid. Another step on the path to one national drug store change and one airline.
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Charles Koch is bemoaning a lack of substance and civility in the 2016 Presidential race “It’s mainly about personalities, and ‘your mother sucked rotten eggs.” Yeah, well, Dr. Frankenstein also ended up not being thrilled with his monster.
Donald Trump’s response to his drop in the polls. “I don’t get it.” Hey, when he’s right, he’s right.
John Kasich talking about his GOP competition on the eve of the next debate. “I’ve about had it with these people. I want you to know I’m fed up. I’m sick and tired of listening to this nonsense and I’m going to have to call it like it is in this race.”
With all due respect, so until now he’s not been “calling it like it is” why?
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Is it too soon to start a pool on the next arrest date for Greg Hardy? #Cowboys #NFL
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Alex Kaseberg, co-piloting me on the bus-to-hell tonight. “After sustaining a serious 4th-of-July fireworks hand injury, Jason Pierre-Paul agreed to terms with New York Giants. Jason was so happy, he gave the Giants a high-three.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: black friday jokes, Fox jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, Mets jokes, NFL jokes, Royals jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
November 7, 2014
Star Wars VII now has a title “The Force Awakens.” And given the age of many in the cast, presume the subtitle is “Every Few Hours in the Middle of the Night to Pee.”
Madison Bumgarner just won the “Silver Slugger” award for being the best offensive player at his position. But the SF Giants lefty didn’t get a hit in the postseason, including the World Series. What a disappointment.
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San Diego shortstop Everth Cabrera was stopped for allegedly driving under the influence of marijuana, and ultimately charged with resisting arrest. Of course, being a Padre, if he pulled the “Do you know who I am?” card, the answer might have honestly been. “No.”
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A-Rod reportedly admitted to using PEDS during a meeting with the DEA earlier this year. Yep, baseball normalcy has returned: The World Series is over and the Yankees are back in the headlines.
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The first NFL 2015 “International Series” game at Wembley will be the Miami Dolphins vs. the NY Jets. And Jets fans are thinking, “Can London just keep them?”
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John Boehner said that executive actions by Obama on immigration would “poison the well” for legislation. As opposed to that great bipartisan effort Congress has made with the President so far?
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A court today upheld gay marriage bans in Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky and Tennessee. So in those last two states, men can still marry their sisters, just not their brothers?
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On Fox News, Condoleezza Rice criticized Democratic campaign ads aimed at African Americans in the South that featured Ferguson and the death of Michael Brown. She said she found the fear mongering “appalling” and “insulting.” Uh, okay Condi, but what about fear mongering in GOP ads aimed at whites about crime and immigration featuring minorities?
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Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski said of freshman Jahlil Okafor “We won’t have him long. We’ll have him this year and then he’ll be one of the top [NBA] picks.” In other words, Okafor’s second semester professors might as well forget about getting those papers turned in.
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Wonder if Okafor will stick around long enough to learn to spell “Krzyewski?”
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Let the fun begin. Sources told ESPN that Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome testified under oath Thursday that he heard Ray Rice in June tell Roger Goodell that he hit Janay in a casino hotel elevator. So let’s see, does the NFL commissioner claims amnesia or a concussion.
Jennifer Aniston apparently goes without makeup in her new film “Cake,” and called it “dreamy and empowering and liberating.” And yes, imagine what a shocking change it must have been – relying only on her personal assistants, trainer and esthetician.
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Lebron James is apparently “concerned” about the Cavaliers 1-3 start. Did he think it would be easy for the team to improve enough to be knocked off by the Spurs in the NBA finals?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #theforceawakens, A-Rod jokes, Congress jokes, election jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, Star Wars jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
November 3, 2014
As reported by the the SF Chronicle, apparently before the Giants World Series Parade the SF Police were chatting with Madison Bumgarner and along with all the congrats someone said “If there is anything we can do for you.” Madbum’s response, “Anything? Can I ride one of y’alls horses in the parade? After some discussion and risk assessment, the answer was something, well, not exactly DURING the parade.”
Meanwhile, the #SF49ers clearly needed #MadBum
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Small silver lining for #49ers fans? At least #Kaepernick ‘s last play wasn’t a butt fumble.
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Saddest thing for #NYJets fans about a sad season? That win against the #Raiders may have cost them #1 draft pick. Either that, or watching Mark Sanchez win in Philly?
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Washington coach Jay Gruden blasted an ESPN report today that said RG III has teammates who seem to disrespect him, saying it was “amateurish.” Well, if anyone should know about amateurish, it’s the coach of the Redskins.
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Silver lining with Stanford’s underwhelming football season. Players, coaches and fans get to celebrate New Year’s Eve at home.
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So one might think Oregon’s rout of Stanford might propel the Ducks into the top four for a projected BCS playoff spot. Nope, they’re still behind idle Alabama. #nopac12respect
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Clocks turned back last night. Meaning hard-core #Lakers fans had another hour to not sleep.
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Breaking news, a Kenyan has won the New York City Marathon” Wouldn’t it be more news if a Kenyan DIDN’T win the New York City Marathon?
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Not the Onion. A Tucson pastor was woken up by police at 2am because a member of his congregation said she thought she had Ebola and her pastor had returned from Africa in September. He had been to Zambia, which is further from West Africa than San Francisco is from Washington, D.C. #cantfixstupid
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Yet another example of why Trader Joe’s leaves other grocery stores in the dust. Saw a package of “Iced Cranberry Orange Scone Cookies” near the checkout. Told the cashier, those sound good. She said, “They are, want to try one?” Opened a box, gave me one, and offered them to anyone in the area. Sold about five boxes of cookies on the spot.
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Maybe there was too much hype for the #DENvsNE game? Peyton Manning might have thought he was back in the #SuperBowl?
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A new poll shows Charlie Crist 7 points ahead of Gov. Rick Scott in Florida. Wow. Might have to retire half my Florida jokes.
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From Jerry Perisho: Asked if she was going to the polls on Tuesday, Kim Kardashian said, “No, but I’m opening a new store in Warsaw, next spring.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, college football jokes, ESPN jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, madbum jokes, Stanford jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 1, 2014
Jake Peavy bought a duck boat when the Red Sox won the World Series, and reportedly is buying a cable car after the Giants’ win. Peavy did tell a reporter afterwards that while he loves SF, he and Jon Lester would love to be on the same team and “who wouldn’t want to play in Chicago?” Maybe Peavy decided he has enough vehicles.
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A cruise ship that was stuck when it ran aground Saturday in Norway managed to get free at high tide. Passengers were relieved. CNN was bitterly disappointed.
Royal Caribbean’s new cruise ship has a Bionic Bar, with two “bartenders” that are literally robots that mix drinks to order. Fun for passengers,maybe. But even more fun for the the cruise line, who can pocket the automatic 15% gratuities.
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When Pac 12 ,Big 12, ACC, and Big 10 teams beat up on each other intra-conference, it is viewed as a sign of the conferences being weak without dominant teams. When SEC teams beat up on each other, it’s just another example of their superiority and strength of schedule…..
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Texas A&M suspended QB Kenny Hill two games for “a violation of team rules and athletic department policies.” Wonder if that violation includes playing like crap for the past three games.
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#Michigan & #Florida both won today.. Hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.
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So did someone design those gray UCLA uniforms or did the blue and gold original colors just run in the laundry? #UCLAVsAZ #ugly
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Florida, in fact, upset #11, Georgia. Bulldog fans are now furious #FireMuschamp movement didn’t succeed before today.
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Pittsburgh missed a 26 yard FG that would have beaten Duke at the end of regulation. The shocking thing to casual football fans. It would have been an upset.
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A new study indicates that chocolate may help people avoid memory loss as they age. Makes biological sense. Assume we’ve evolved not to forget eating really good chocolate.
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Cal vs Oregon State starting the 4th quarter Saturday about 1030p Pacific time. Forget the east coast, these games are too late for many WEST coast fans to stay awake.
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The Lakers are 0-4. Only good news for Los Angeles fans. Unlike the Dodgers the team seems pretty sure not to be a disappointment in the playoffs.
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From T.C. “According to baseball analysts, Madison Bumgarner won the World Series for the San Francisco Giants single-handedly. ‘Good to know,’ said Kobe Bryant.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: college football jokes, cruise jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, SEC jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
November 1, 2014
Lots of happy #SFGiants fans were taking pictures in the rain at #SFGiantsParade Over-under on folks needing new cellphones today?
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So many people think newspapers are irrelevant these days. But wonder how many are saving screen shots of the SF Giants World Series victory for their children and grandchildren.
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SF mayor Ed Lee, speaking at a post-parade ceremony “Panda, you own the postseason.” And the SFGiants are thinking, “Great, you just maybe cost us another $10-20 million?”
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Great post parade line from Buster Posey to #HunterPence “See those cameras back there? That means live TV.” #SFGiants
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The SF Giants used pictures from their last World Series Parade to advertise yesterday’s parade. If new manager Joe Maddon leads the Cubs to a title, they’ll need to find someone who’s an expert in reproducing cave paintings.
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Today, November 1. is “Day of the Dead.” This is a holiday in Mexico. Not the Michigan football homecoming.
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The Los Angeles Dodgers have 7 free agents. Hanley Ramirez,Chris Perez, Jamey Wright, Paul Maholm, Roberto Hernandez, Kevin Correia and Josh Beckett. “Gosh, I really really hope we can keep them” said no Dodgers fans
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Pablo Sandoval says he wants to remain a Giant, though the Red Sox are interested. So what will it take? Maybe $100 million over 5 years. And a copy of Boston’s weather report. (Freezing temperatures this weekend.)
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This would be funnier if it weren’t sad for the pilots. Still, euphemism of the year perhaps, Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo space tourism rocket crashing in Mojave desert. And Virgin Galactic reported it as an “in-flight anomaly.”
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Former Florida congressman Trey Radel, who pleaded guilty to cocaine possession in 2013, has had his criminal record expunged after completing “all conditions of his probation.” Expunged. Does this make him an honorary football player?
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If they gave away free candy at polling place would people make as much effort to vote as they do to trick or treat? #Halloween #Electionday
How scary was this on Halloween? A senator spoke honestly in public: Mary Landrieu, asked why Obama has such low approval ratings in Louisiana. “I’ll be very, very honest with you. The South has not always been the friendliest place for African-Americans. It’s been a difficult time for the president to present himself in a very positive light as a leader.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Florida jokes, football jokes, Janice Hough, Michigan jokes, Panda jokes, parade jokes, SFGiants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 30, 2014
So what time do the SF Giants play today? Oh, wait…. never mind. #missingbaseballalready
Amazing how people who complain that the World Series was a game between two Wild Cards and thus a devaluation of the regular season seem to have had no problem with, say, the 2007 Super Bowl Champion NY Giants. Or the 2010 Packers. #NFLcandonowrong
Ok, who had the #NewOrleansSaints, starting 2-4, in 1st place in the AFC South after week 8? #WhoDat
Oops. Jets WR Eric Decker tweeted out “”tell me why you love the @nyjets using #jetsdiehardfan and I’ll send a signed prize to my favorite.” And with the team 1-7 he got a predictable result. Though have to figure a sincere response would have been “when OUR team has them on the schedule.”
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Question, who was the umpire at first base for game seven of the World Series? As my son points out, few people know the answer to that question, and thanks to instant replay, he won’t become as infamous as Don Denkinger.
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After Game 5 of the World Series, the Royals’ Jarrod Dyson said “One good thing for us, we don’t have to worry about Bumgarner no more.” Not exactly.
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Babies in San Jose.
From Alex Kaseberg “In San Francisco’s Castro district last night, men were ripping off their clothes, swilling champagne and dancing in the street. When asked how long they would celebrate the Giants win, they said; ‘What Giants win?”
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Now that the World Series is over, ESPN can get back to the news they really care about, like this headline story today: “A-Rod’s suspension ends. Back in play for Yanks.”
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And then all these ESPN headlines about LeBron James returning to Cleveland. Score of the game? Oh, you mean there’s a game?
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RG III will start for Washington this weekend against the Vikings. Good thing the game will be played in Minnesota. The boos from the stands will be less embarrassing than they would be at Fed Ex Field.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, baseball jokes, bumgarner jokes, ESPN jokes, Janice Hough, Lebron jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 