Posted tagged ‘altuve jokes’

Long and the short of it?

October 22, 2017

So if the Astros win the World Series will they ask Altuve if he is going to Disneyland? Even though he’s not tall enough for most of rides?

Verlander named #ALCS MVP. Dodgers trying to talk to SF Giants to see if there’s any way they can somehow still trade for Pablo Sandoval.

 

Confused about all these tweets about #TheWalkingDead Is everyone talking about the #49ers or #Browns?

 

Well, at least Falcons didn’t break their fans’ hearts tonight vs. Patriots.

Took OT to do it but Browns held serve on their quest for 0-16.     Though they were more than matched by 49ers.

After 0-2 start, Saints are 4-2 and in first place in NFC South. Hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.

Looking like all Cowboys starters could have knelt for anthem, been benched, and Dallas would still have beaten 49ers.

 

With Justin Timberlake doing Super Bowl half time assume it’s too much to hope for that he might do a version of “D*ck in a box?

Maybe it would be faster and easier if all the women in Hollywood who WEREN’T assaulted by Harvey Weinstein came forward?

All these outraged at Federica Wilson calling out President, didn’t seem to have a problem when it was Joe Wilson calling Obama a liar during the State of the Union.

So Weinstein case somehow taints all Democrats, but O’Reilly case is a witch hunt & not like he ever did anything for GOP anyway. #WTF?

WH insists it’s inappropriate to criticize four-star general. Except Colin Powell, John Allen & any others who disagree with Trump.

Jimmy Carter “media harder on Trump than any other president.” Puts Trump in tough position, dare he tell base he agrees w/Jimmy Carter?

 

 

First Harvey Weinstein, then Roy Price, now James Toback. Wonder what other Hollywood men are worried about being next?

John McCain, reminding many of us again how in the pre-Palin days he used to be our favorite Republican: “One aspect of the (Vietnam) conflict by the way that I will never ever countenance is that we drafted the lowest income level of America and the highest income level found a doctor that would say that they had a bone spur….”

From TC   “NBA coach Gregg Popovich has blasted Dotard many times. I wonder if he may offer tribute to him by suggesting to rename his team “The San Antonio Bone Spurs”.

 

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Not short-changed

October 6, 2017

Nick Folk might have had the kicking night from hell. But he’s got to be a top candidate for a Southwest commercial. #Wannagetaway

 

ESPN.com wrote Jose Altuve, 5’6″, “joined short list of players” with 3 home runs in 1 game in postseason. Did they type that with a straight face?

Boston Red Sox after today’s game might have wondered if they should have kept Pablo Sandoval around just to face Verlander.

Anyone but me see #RedSox #Astros & still initially think, that’s not an ALDS playoff series but an unlikely World Series match up?

So 1st game of ALDS between Astros and Red Sox, is not only during the day, but on #MLBNetwork. Way to build a national fanbase, MLB.

So yeah, for the uninitiated, MLB playoff baseball is supposed to be all about great pitching. #notexactly

Rumors only. But looking good for those who had John Kelly in the Trump resignation pool.

#KellyanneConway is now blaming Obama for not regulating bump stocks. Next she’ll say he could have prevented the Bowling Green Massacre.

 

AAA said dashboard devices are causing more distracted driving. Wonder how many people read that story on their phones while driving.

If we have to show a picture with stories about the Las Vegas shooting, can it be a picture of one of the victims, not the killer?

If we REALLY want meaningful gun law reform by executive order, maybe someone should get Barack Obama to defend assault weapons.

Gun silencer bill currently stalled in Congress is called “Hearing Protection Act” Because hunters can’t afford 50 cents for ear plugs? #WTF  #huntersnowflakes

 

Pro-life Rep. Tim Murphy, who wasn’t seeking reelection over texts asking mistress to have abortion, is now resigning.  Hmm, could there be more texts?  Or more mistresses?

Sanders-“Trump has made a decision on the Iran deal.” He’ll tell us….after the break? Someone tell him Presidency is not a reality TV show.

So how long until Trump appoints Harvey Weinstein to a White House position?

Ivana Trump now says she told her ex-husband ‘I think you should tweet. It’s a new way, a new technology. And if you want to get your words across rightly, without telling The New York Times, which is going to twist every single word of yours, this is how you get your message out.”
So it’s all her fault??!!!

Ivana also said Donald offered her the post of Ambassador to the Czech Republic.  And Czechs have to be thinking… “What did we ever do to the US?”

Finally, here’s the thing on Cam Newton, from my perspective: Clearly there are bigger issues in the world than a QB laughing at a reporter. But he didn’t think the question was funny because Jourdan Rodrigue was a reporter, he thought it was funny because she was a woman.
Any woman who loves sports, and who knows sports, knows that male reaction. And yeah, we cope, and sometimes we laugh too. But hey guys, it’s 2017. Many women know sports, sometimes better than you. Get over it.