Posted tagged ‘Oakland As jokes’

No game 8?

November 3, 2016

World Series Game 7 was moved up 8 minutes from a 5:08pm to a 5:00pm start, ostensibly to try to get it over before the rain came. Had it started at the scheduled time, that rain delay, instead of giving the Cubs a chance to regroup, would have happened before the bottom of the 9th, possibly meaning Chapman could not have pitched, certainly giving him more time to stew about the blown save.

Hmm, Hillary Clinton is a Cubs fan, where’s the Congressional investigation?


So if #SFGiants really want to win #WorldSeries again in 2017, maybe they don’t need to sign a closer, just another ex -Oakland A or two..


Time to start a pool on how much Roger Goodell fines Richard Sherman for this one? “The league isn’t fun anymore….they say we’re trying to influence kids, and that’s their biggest thing. That’s their biggest ploy is you don’t want to be a bad influence to kids. You don’t want to be a bad role model. And I can agree with that. But in the same breath, you can’t say Budweiser is the official sponsor of the NFL, and we’re trying to influence kids. ”

And on the league talking about player safety “That’s for public perception. They don’t care about player safety. But they do care about paying the quarterback $20 million and him missing a season. They do care about that.” #whenShermanisrightheisright

Lots of outrage on the internet because Neiman Marcus is selling precooked, ready-to-heat-and-serve collard greens for $66.  Even Whole Foods is stunned. They would have charged $99.

A Mississippi lawyer is suing Popeyes after he says he choked on a piece of fried chicken. His claim is that because the restaurant didn’t give him a knife, he had to eat the chicken with his hands instead of cutting it into bite-size pieces.
Uh, how about suing his parents, who didn’t teach him how to chew?

#MelaniaTrump gave a speech today about cyber bullying. This is like #BillClinton giving a speech on marital fidelity.

#MelaniaTrump today “Our culture has gotten too mean.” Sounds like she pays as much attention to what her husband says as #MikePence does.


Ted Cruz, who famously said at the RNC convention “Vote your conscience,” is now stumping for Donald Trump. But it’s not as Ted is contradicting himself on conscience – he doesn’t have one.


Interesting election side note: Both Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump have detractors, and neither are beloved in their own parties, But while many big names in the GOP have publicly turned on Trump, no major Democrat that I can think of has turned on Hillary. And as a life-long Democrat, I can tell you, it’s NOT because we’re the organized party.


From an anonymous friend   about bipartisan pre-election “inner peace..

“A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives during this political season, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I’d started & hadn’t finished.
I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu hav no idr how fablus I feel rite now.
Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.”


From Bill Littlejohn:  “In the wake of the Cubs’ World Series title, scholars say that at least 45% of the prophecies of Nastrodamus will have to be researched and re-interpreted”

Ouching Tiger.

May 10, 2010

Tiger Woods apparently left the TPC tournament today with a sore neck. Makes sense, he’s had to swivel around constantly every few minutes since Thanksgiving to see if Elin is behind him with a nine-iron.

Dallas Braden pitched a perfect game today in Oakland for the attendance-challenged As. But years from now at least a thousand people will claim they were there to see it.

Marc Ragovin comments “So it was 27 up, 27 down, in Oakland on Sunday. And by that I’m describing the entire attendance during the seventh inning stretch.”

This is just tacky, but what the heck. Tiger Woods withdrew from the TPC today with an injury. Well, if anyone has had experience in learning when to pull out…

As a Giants fan I wish this was funnier that it is.

It’s only May but looking like as far as other National League pitchers who could keep Tim Lincecum from winning another Cy Young, the most likely candidates reside in the Giants bullpen.

(for all non-hardcore Giants fans, Lincecum is 4-0 and has left his last three starts with leads in the late innings, and the bullpen blew all three of them.)

Happy Mothers Day. While all professional sports leagues playing in May make a point of honoring moms, you’ve got to tip your hat to the NBA – their players create so many of them.

In their next effort to stop the oil leak, BP is going to try to clog the blowout preventer with garbage. They have full cooperation in this effort from NBC, who will be sending hundreds of copies of scripts from their prime time lineup.