Posted tagged ‘bernie jokes’

FLOTUS

July 25, 2016

Often imitated, never duplicated ‪#‎MichelleObama‬

 

“This right now is the greatest country on Earth.” And @BarackObama gets reminded again that he married up. ‪#‎MichelleObama‬ ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

 

 

Is it being too much of a girl to have been in love w/ ‪#‎MichelleObama‬‘s speech & at same time going “I love her hair? Asking for a friend

How often do people say “Tonight I am proud to be from New Jersey?” ‪#‎CoryBooker‬ ‪#‎DNCinPhilly‬

 (“You can’t love your country without loving your countrymen and women.  #CoryBooker tonight)

 

Love ‪#‎bridgeovertroubledwater‬, but tonight Simon w/o Garfunkel showed why going it alone isn’t enough. ‪#‎StrongerTogether‬ ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

Another woman who, even if she doesn’t get everything she wanted, still rolls up her sleeves to get to work. ‪#‎ElizabethWarren‬ ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

Since 2004, I was and remain (albeit older) an Obama girl. Hillary Clinton got almost the same number of votes, 18 million, in the 2008 Primaries as Barack Obama. So it’s understandable that her very disappointed supporters did their best to disrupt the 2008 DNC convention. Oh wait, they didn’t. Never mind.

 

A simple statement for Bernie fans, with Clinton elected, Bernie Sanders will have much more power in USA than under Trump.

Earlier today  word that some of Sanders’ supporters have “serious interest” in a “formal challenge” to replace Kaine on the ticket.
Sigh, are they trying to prove this IS their first rodeo?

Also earlier today, reports of Sanders delegates booing… Bernie?! WTF? Is this the result of too many years of participation trophies. ‪#‎DemsInPhilly‬

 

All of this politics as reality TV is getting really confusing: At one point during ‪#‎DemsinPhilly‬ do Hillary and Bernie retire to Fantasy Suite?

Don’t get me wrong,  putting what they did in emails was stupid. But just wondering how many folks condemning ‪#‎DNC‬ would be OK with coworkers, friends & family seeing what they wrote about them in their emails.

 

“Do I regret standing up for what I believe in? Absolutely not. Do I regret saying business should not be first before winning? Absolutely not.” Fine sentiments from White Sox pitcher Chris Sale, but dude, we’re talking about UNIFORMS. ‪#‎acutabove‬

Cubs have now lost 4 straight starts by Jake Arrieta, SFGiants have lost 5 of 7 starts by Madison Bumgarner. Time for these two pitchers to start an “Offenses anonymous” club?

#‎SFGiants‬ really need to start doing a better job again distracting us in the Bay Area from trivial things like the fate of our country.

‪#‎BarryBonds‬ turned 52 years old yesterday. And he could still probably outhit most of the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ current lineup.

 

Is it going to take Madison Bumgarner hitting again on Wednesday to get ‪#‎SFGiants‬ back on track out of this slump?

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Sunday night

July 24, 2016

So we don’t have a woman president, yet but we do have @jessmendoza on @ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. It’s a start!

 

‪#‎SFGiants‬ don’t really want Aroldis Chapman  (cost and last year’s domestic violence arrest.)  But they’d be fine with the ‪#‎Yankees‬ not trading him to ‪#‎Nationals‬ before next weekend’s series.

 

#‎MikeMayers‬, MLB debut, 1.1 inning, 9 runs, 60.75 ERA. I feel for his mother. ‪#‎LAvsSTL‬

Chris Sale has been suspended five games for destroying his team’s throwback uniforms, which he didn’t want to wear,  before Saturday’s game.   On the other hand, he’s been offered freelance contracts by a lot of college football fans.

While ‪#‎ChrisSale‬ is serving that 5 game suspension could he come to ‪#‎SF‬ & cut up ‪#‎SFGiants‬ road uniforms? They don’t apparently work anymore.

Australian athletes are not moving into the Olympic village because they say it’s “uninhabitable,” with numerous safety issues. And Rio’s mayor responded “I almost feel like putting a kangaroo in front of their building to make them feel at home.” ‪#‎whatiftheyhadanOlympicsandnobodycame‬?

The ‪#‎IOC‬ will not completely ban ‪#‎Russia‬ from the ‪#‎RioOlympics‬. And many Russian athletes are thinking now “Damn, so this means we have to go?

 

#‎Trump‬, disbelieving Roger Ailes charge “because he’s a very good person,” & because ‪#‎theDonald‬ never considered that behavior harassment?

Oxymoron online ad of the day – “Upgrade to Yahoo search.”

Business Insider reports that many Kmart employees expect the company soon to close all their stores. And many Americans are going “Kmart still has stores?”

Donald Trump now proposes stop immigration “from any nation that has been compromised by terrorism,” and wouldn’t rule out France and Germany. Uh, actually would the Donald like to find ONE country that doesn’t have terrorism, including the USA?

But if ‪#‎Trump‬‘s idea of banning immigrants from countries “compromised by terrorism” catches on around the world, it could be rough for Americans trying to move to Canada

Have no problem with removing Debbie Wasserman Schultz as head of the DNC for the convention and beyond. But anyone want to hazard a guess what the RNC internal emails might look like about Trump and others in the GOP primaries?

Critics are saying ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ should have had ‪#‎DebbieWassermanSchultz‬ fired. Uh, and who’s to say she didn’t?

V.P. note for grouchy Dems who wanted someone other than Tim Kaine: Cory Booker, Sherrod Brown & Elizabeth  Warren, all would’ve had their Senate seats filled by GOP governors.

Would have loved Clinton to take Booker. But Kaine ups her likability quotient. And I could get used to hearing “Senate Majority Leader Warren.”

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love Republican chaos.   But some of same Democrats who are gleefully looking forward to November with the GOP not rallying behind Trump are also saying that Sanders shouldn’t throw his support to Clinton.

Midsummer almost-classic?

July 12, 2016

Tonight was David Ortiz’s last All-Star game as Big Papi is retiring. The Red Sox slugger could become even more beloved if he takes Joe Buck with him.

 

NL loses ‪#‎AllStarGame‬ again, along with home field advantage for ‪#‎WorldSeries‬, after stranding 10. Clearly ‪#‎Madbum‬ should have pinch hit.

Just thinking ‪#‎JohnnyCueto‬ may be regretting how well he bonded with his ‪#‎KCRoyals‬ teammates last year. ‪#‎AllStarGame‬

Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez said  tonight he’d groove fastballs to David Ortiz in All-Star Game because “I want to see him hit a home run.”
Well, not like the game means anything… other than home field advantage in the World Series. ‪#‎SMH‬

Tim Duncan skipped his own retirement news conference today. But no doubt Kobe Bryant will soon call a press conference to discuss how it felt for him to play with Duncan.

So now the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. has had to ask PokemonGO players to stop playing the game – in their museum. Maybe some of these idiots should be playing it instead in traffic.

 

Another Tesla autopilot crash this weekend, this time nonfatal. The driver apparently reported that he did not have his hands on the wheel, and he did not hear warnings. But the car’s warnings are in English and he speaks Mandarin.
Beginning to think these cars should come with copies of the latest Darwin awards.

The Black Panther Party says they are going to protest at the GOP convention, and “if it is an open state to carry we will exercise our Second Amendment rights because there are other groups threatening to be there that are threatening to do harm to us.”
Can’t wait for the NRA’s defense of gun rights on this one.

#‎BernieSanders‬ today “I have come here today not to talk about the past…” Who wrote his speech, Mark McGwire?

A man identified only as “John Doe 150” said when he was 14 he told Joe Paterno about abuse by Jerry Sandusky and that the Penn State coach responded “‘I don’t want to hear about any of that kind of stuff, I have a football season to worry about?'”
Would be less awful if that hasn’t been the response of big-time college football and the NFL to most off-field issues..

Fox News has suspended Newt Gingrich’s contract. “Due to the intense media speculation about Gingrich’s potential selection as Donald Trump’s V.P candidate, we felt it best to half his contributor role on the network to avoid all conflicts of interest that may arise.”

But until now, Newt has been “fair and balanced?” ‪#‎SMH‬

In Florida a woman was taken to the hospital for evaluation after she drove into a house and told police she was praying with her eyes closed. This is not I think what Carrie Underwood meant with ‪#‎Jesustakethewheel‬.

#‎BernieSanders‬ didn’t exactly look thrilled to be on stage today with ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ Maybe he and ‪#‎ChrisChristie‬ can form a support group.

Donald Trump, upset about Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s negative comments about him, says she should leave the bench “as soon as possible.” Uh, if the Donald thinks Elizabeth Warren is aggravating wait until he starts really jousting with Notorious RBG. ‪#‎passthepopcorn‬

 

 

Donald Trump on RBG “I think it’s highly inappropriate that a United States Supreme Court judge gets involved in a political campaign, frankly.” Right, they should wait until after the vote and then determine the result.

 

 

 

During a memorial for the slain Dallas police offices, which was also attended by George W. and Laura Bush, President Obama stated at one point ‘We flood communities with so many guns that it is easier for a teenager to buy a Glock than to get his hands on a computer.’

Obama was criticized by many conservative for being political. But none of them said he was wrong.

(maybe the President should have said, any teenager with a gun who wants a computer could easily steal one?)

No rush

June 8, 2016

Today Californians went to the polls. And readers who don’t like my political stuff might want to skip down several items,  or until the next post.

And for those of us who live in the state, all those annoying primary election ads will finally be over with. The general election ads start tomorrow.

 

You can call ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ a lot of things. But especially given the alternative, people need to get used to the idea of calling her ‪#‎MadamPresident‬.

Absolutely amazing, my California Assembly district 24 is in the middle of Silicon Valley, has been home to Hewlett, Packard, Jobs, Ellison, Zuckerberg etc. And it’s MIDNIGHT election night and we still don’t have more than 71% of the vote counted. Ah technology….

 

No network yet calling ‪#‎CaliforniaPrimary‬ for ‪#‎Hillary‬ or ‪#‎Bernie‬, at 1230a June 8. Maybe they’ll go out on a limb before ‪#‎Dem‬ convention.

Would support ‪#‎Obama‬ for 3rd term if there weren’t an amendment, but time for ‪#‎Sanders‬ to do as ‪#‎Hillary‬ did in 2008 ‪#‎begracious‬ ‪#‎getonboard‬

Really? Now today’s anti-Hillary social media rant is that she was wearing an expensive Armani jacket during a speech on inequality. And if she just wore mass-market clothes she’d be accused of being dowdy and not supporting retailers.

 

Donald Trump said tonight he will deliver a “major speech” on the Clintons next week. Like Trump’s “major announcement” in 2012 on Obama’s birth certificate?

Trump says now his comments about judges were “misconstrued.” Is that the Donald’s way of saying “Oops, even I might have gone too far this time?”

Lindsey Graham is urging Republicans to rescind their endorsements of Donald Trump after the Donald’s racist comments about judges. Nice start, Senator Graham. Now how about going the next step – as in “We can survive four years of Hillary Clinton, we may not survive four years of Donald Trump.” ‪#‎justsaynotoTrump‬


Albert Suarez has had two starts in the major leagues. Both for the SF Giants. Both times he left with a lead. The first save was blown by Santiago Casilla, tonight’s game was lost in the 10th by Casilla.  Maybe the next time Bochy has to get Suarez out of a game, he can promise to keep Casilla out too?

Madison Bumgarner said in an interview that he isn’t much for souvenir baseballs, but he wishes he had the one he threw to Perez for the last pitch in the 2014 World Series. The ball was popped up for a foul out and was last seen in the possession of Pablo Sandoval. Let’s hope Panda didn’t eat it.

Someone hacked ‪#‎NFL‬ twitter feed to announce falsely that ‪#‎RogerGoodell‬ had died. Out of habit, Goodell will be punishing the ‪#‎Saints‬.

In Missouri, a 15 year old boy apparently accidentally shot himself taking a selfie. Sad, because he was just a kid. But definitely a Darwin award junior division. ‪#‎Ifonlyhewasarmed‬. Oh, wait, never mind.

United Airlines has a new program called “Celebrate by United” where you can order something Duty-Free and have it delivered to a friend or colleague on-board an international flight. Flight attendants must be so thrilled. ‪#‎whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬?

Amazing sidebar to the ‪#‎BrockTurnerRapist‬ story. He has a sister. Just wondering if father ‪#‎DanTurner‬ would be so sympathetic to a young man if she had been raped in college. ‪#‎20minutesofaction‬

Plenty of good guys at Stanford too:  http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/hero-grad-student-describes-catching-stanford-rapist-article-1.2664718

A long long time ago…..

June 6, 2016

#‎VinScully‬ was apparently telling ‪#‎DDay‬ stories tonight during ‪#‎Dodgers‬ loss. Wonder they included seeing ‪#‎JamieMoyer‬ pitch that day?

Steph Curry is bowing out of the Olympics. Makes sense. If he wants the experience against playing against a team of mixed amateurs and professionals, the Warriors have plenty of games next year against the Lakers.

Madison Bumgarner wants to participate in the All-Star Game Home Run Derby. Now, that would probably be too dangerous with the injury risk of swinging that many times. But since the game “counts” maybe Bochy could let ‪#‎Madbum‬ pinch hit? ‪#‎pitcherswhorake‬

 

Looking like ‪#‎LebronJames‬ is about 2 games, and one 2013 miracle Ray Allen shot, away from going 1-6 in ‪#‎NBAFinals‬.

Marshawn Lynch confirmed his retirement on a 60 Minutes Sports/Sports Illustrated segment “No I’m done. I’m done. I enjoyed my time playing, now it’s time to watch my cousins do their thing.”
Wow, retirement has made Lynch positively loquacious.

Hillary’s bro-in-law ‪#‎RogerClinton‬ was just arrested for his 2nd DUI. Clearly that makes him unfit to be related to a President. On the other hand, does that qualify him to run for V.P.? ‪#‎Cheney‬

 

Got an email today saying that “Even if Clinton’s already won, a vote for Sanders will help defeat Trump.” Because the more delegates Bernie gets, the more supportive he’s going to be of Hillary in November? Yeah. Right.

A former Secret Service agent has an anti-Clinton book due out this month. Gary Bryne says he has “no animosity” towards the former First Family: “But I could not keep from asking myself how our nation’s leaders could be so reckless, so volatile, and so dangerous to themselves and to our nation.” And I am sure Bryne has no other rea$on$$$$$$..

 

More on the Stanford rape case, and what feels like a sentencing debacle – the convicted rapist said he thought the sex was consensual, but when two other students happened upon him with the young woman, he ran away. Uh, if he was with a consensual partner, the natural impulse might be to cover up, or to shield her, or just to tell the others “go away and give us some privacy.” Not to run.

 

Mean bitch karma had to be disappointed with the sentencing in the Stanford rape case. On the other hand, had the rapist. Brock Turner, been given a reasonable sentence, it might have been a 24 hour story and maybe he gets out of prison and rebuilds a life in anonymity. Not a chance now. So not a win, but not a complete loss either. ‪#‎Neverdismissmeanbirthkarma‬-