Posted tagged ‘49ers joke’

Standing your wall?

June 17, 2016
Blue Jays’ slugger Jose Bautista is on the DL after a collision with the wall today. Wonder if the wall says Bautista flipped his bat at it?

How many other ‪#‎MLB‬ announcers would refer to weather conditions inside the ‪#‎Rays‬ Tropicana Dome as “sublime?”. ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎JonMiller

 

After last night forget the Warriors and Cavs; Many Americans would like to see a match between Gisele Bundchen and Ayesha Curry. ‪#‎standbyyourman‬

 

The Oakland Police Department has lost its third chief in nine days (all through firings or forced resignations.). Wow. The Bay Area may have finally found a job that makes being coach of the SF 49ers look secure by comparison.

Oops. While performing in Canada last night, Justin Bieber disappeared from stage when he fell through a trap door. Even worse, he came back.

The Westboro Baptist Church is planning to picket some of the funerals of Orlando shooting victims. Can’t someone tell ISIL that the WBC church is decorated with pictures of Mohammad?

Suggestion from a friend, while the Westboro Baptist Church is in Orlando picketing funerals, maybe they can do some baptisms in Disney lagoons. ‪#‎bustohell‬.

Wells Fargo, UPS, Motorola, JPMorgan Chase, Ford and Walgreens have all opted out of sponsoring the GOP convention. Maybe because Donald Trump is over-the-top even for some corporations, or maybe because they figure they’ll get more good free publicity for opting out than they would paid publicity for staying in.

Vladimir Putin was asked by CNN about his reportedly calling Donald Trump “brilliant,” “outstanding” and “talented.” Putin responded “I only said he was a bright person. Isn’t he bright?”
Next expect the Russian leader to claim he only meant the the furry thing that lives on Trump’s head is bright and shiny.

Microsoft is adding Kind Financial, a cannabis-focused data management company onto its specialized Azure cloud platform. Makes sense. the more marijuana people smoke or otherwise imbibe, the mellower they will be about Microsoft’s computer issues.

 

Donald Trump, on the ‪#‎Orlando‬ killings, if “one of the people in that room happened to have (a gun) and goes boom. You know what, that would have been a beautiful, beautiful sight, folks.”
Uh, except that the club had armed security, and the guard’s gun DID go “boom” and it didn’t matter.
So the Donald is proposing that people should all be armed with at least semi-automatic weapons?

Finally.

 

Reasonable gun control will not stop reasonable people from having reasonable guns. That is all.

There she is….

September 15, 2013

Miss America was tonight. Women tune in for the dresses. Men tune in for the swimsuit competition. And comedy writers tune in for the interview questions.

Okay, clearly the fix was in. Miss California, a Stanford graduate, got the Miss America question about bombing Syria….

Lebron James apparently married his long-time girlfriend in a private ceremony. Kudos to him for not making a circus out of THAT decision.

Vladimir Guerrero announced his retirement from baseball. Since he last played in 2011, perhaps he didn’t need to announce it? (Still wish the SF Giants had signed him when Alou was managing, they might have gotten that trophy with the little flags sooner.)

Not sure of all that will go on in Wisconsin’s football practices this week. But a “taking a knee” clinic will no doubt be included.

You think YOUR team is bad? WKMG TV in Orlando felt they needed to run a scrolled message today saying that NFL policy states the station must carry all Jacksonville Jaguars away games. The end of the message said: “We apologize for any inconvenience.”

And we wonder why we have gridlock. The Tea Party in Kentucky is backing a primary challenger to Senator Mitch McConnell, because they think he compromises too much and is too moderate….

Silver lining moment: This was one Sunday when NY Jets fans know their team won’t disappoint them.

A young man was hospitalized with non-life threatening injures after he fell four stories through a skylight at an Massachusetts Institute of Technology fraternity. Shocking. MIT has fraternities?

Another thought on the above young man.  Just guessing he got an F on that first aeronautical engineering project?

Oops. This correction in Arizona Highways magazine after an article on edible wild plants: “The fly agaric mushroom should not be consumed in its raw form because of its unpredictable psychotropic and physical effects,”
Unsaid to those who already tried the fly agaric, also known as a “magic mushroom”, – we REALLY hope you aren’t driving.

(or as friends of mine suggest… flying..)

Larry Summers withdrew his name from consideration for Federal Reserve chairman. Thereby wasting more than a few Senators’ already written speeches against him.

Anyone watching SF Giants and 49ers today who didn’t know the standings might have guessed the wrong team expected to go to the postseason. (And the Giants scored more too.)

Not sure what would have helped the 49ers tonight?  Maybe more lightning?

Okay, Richard Sherman was smirking after tonight’s 49rs-Seahawks game. But have to think that somewhere Alex Smith was smiling just a little bit.