Posted tagged ‘Kamala Harris jokes’

Unstoppable?

June 13, 2017

 

At this point Warriors look like such a juggernaut that only thing that could derail them is a couple players starting to date Kardashians.

Rumors that Golden State turned down White House invite but team says they have not been asked. Anyone think you’ll ever see Kerr & Trump together?

Have to wonder, someone spent $133,000 for courtside seats to @NBAfinal17 game 5, when same teams expected back next year? #gameofalifetime?

 

 

In a “one & done” college basketball world should we be shocked players want to move to a super team to get an instant win?

 

Yasiel Puig gave the finger today to fans booing him. Who does he think he is, Mr Met?

In Oklahoma, two inmates who had been recaptured after escaping from jail three months ago through a ventilation system, have escaped again. This time with two others. Through the same ventilation system.
In related news, El Chapo has asked to be extradited to Oklahoma.

A 33-yr-old woman was arrested at JFK Airport in a motorized wheelchair with a cushion filled with cocaine. What was their first clue, that the chair was traveling about 60 MPH?

Marissa Mayer is walking away from Yahoo with a nearly $260 million golden parachute. Well, that should be enough for her to tout her leadership experience in a run for California governor.

Wow. Just wow. SF Chronicle reporting that at an Uber board meeting to address unprofessional conduct and harrassment of women, board member Dvid Bonderman “joked” that adding female board members would make it “much more likely there’ll be more talking.” #clueless

Jeff Sessions “I am not stonewalling.” To quote Princess Bride “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”

Just wondering, would GOP treat @KamalaHarris with any more respect if she body slammed a FoxNews reporter?

Remember those innocent days when #DennisRodman was the craziest American who would go aboard to talk with a foreign leader?

Today @realDonaldTrump blocked @StephenKing & @VoteVets on Twitter. Stand up to ISIS? Trump can’t even stand up to critical tweets.
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Trump  says the  House Trumpcare version  is “mean”, and that he wants a Senate version with more “heart.” Translation, don’t care what you do if I can spin it as win.

Listening to Jeff Sessions drawl on about not really remembering meetings etc.  half-expected to hear him say he & Trump “have always relied on the kindness of (Russian) strangers.

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Final two.

April 6, 2013

Now that #Michigan is in #NCAA championship, over-under on number of times we’ll see #ChrisWebber’s 1993 attempted timeout before Monday?

If Louisville wins thinking Rick Pitino’s wife is about as likely to let him go out without her for a celebratory dinner as Kobe Bryant’s wife is to let him order room service.

 

(short version for those saying “what?” – Pitino,  married since 1976,  was involved in an 2009 extortion trial with a woman he admitted meeting in a Louisville restaurant in 2003 ,  and having sex with in the bathroom. He also admitted giving her $3000 for an abortion.  But that story somehow hasn’t made CBS’s weekend’s narrative..)

 

A 18-pound tortoise named Cashew who disappeared from a museum in Dubuque, Iowa, was found alive and in good health two days later in a building elevator. Officials believe the tortoise was stolen and then returned. Which would be easier to explain than her just having run away.

A rate Honus Wagner baseball card just sold for $2.1 million. What’s crazier, the price for a single card, or the fact that these days $2.1 million might get you a mediocre middle reliever?

A 22-year-old Oklahoma mom was arrested for allegedly trying to sell her 2-year old and 10-month old kids on Facebook. What kind of monster tries to sell little children? Teenagers, well, okay that makes sense.

(My friend Abbe Nelson says says you get better prices for kids on Ebay..  And Michael M. adds “More sad tales of the demise of newspapers. Once upon a time, it was very easy to sell small children through classifieds.”)

 

Is there a worse invention in college basketball than the possession arrow? Seriously. How hard is it to learn how to throw up a basketball for a jump ball?

Free-agent DB Charles Woodson, 36, says no NFL teams have offered him a contract because they think he’s too old. Shame Woodson didn’t take up baseball instead of football. He’s almost old enough to be signed by the Yankees.

 

Not a Rick Warren fan but very sad to hear his report his son shot himself: “Today, after a fun evening together with Kay and me, in a momentary wave of despair at his home, he took his life.” Without a gun a “momentary wave of despair” might not have been fatal.

CNN reports North Korea has told diplomats it cannot guarantee their safety if war breaks out but is encouraging tour groups to stay. Well, at least daredevils now have a scarier vacation option than a Carnival cruise.

 

Oops. The NY Post reports that Yankees fans who google “Yankees box office phone number” will find a number for a phone sex line. Well, some (male) fans may decide the new number provides more value for money.

Santa Clara beat George Mason 80-77 for the College Basketball Invitational title. So do schools raise a CBI banner?

There’s always a silver lining for someone.   Mike Rice and company at Rutgers at least have meant that Chris Christie and Snooki are off the hook  as the top New Jersey punchlines.

John Lackey  exited his first start of the year with an arm injury. He had signed an $82 million, 5 year contract with the Red Sox in 2009. Who’d a thunk then that Barry Zito’s 7 year $126 million 2006 contract might look like the better deal?

 

Another thought on the whole Obama-Kamala Harris mountain of a molehill:   So where’s the outrage when someone suggests a male politician is good looking?