Posted tagged ‘Pitino jokes’

Final two.

April 6, 2013

Now that #Michigan is in #NCAA championship, over-under on number of times we’ll see #ChrisWebber’s 1993 attempted timeout before Monday?

If Louisville wins thinking Rick Pitino’s wife is about as likely to let him go out without her for a celebratory dinner as Kobe Bryant’s wife is to let him order room service.


(short version for those saying “what?” – Pitino,  married since 1976,  was involved in an 2009 extortion trial with a woman he admitted meeting in a Louisville restaurant in 2003 ,  and having sex with in the bathroom. He also admitted giving her $3000 for an abortion.  But that story somehow hasn’t made CBS’s weekend’s narrative..)


A 18-pound tortoise named Cashew who disappeared from a museum in Dubuque, Iowa, was found alive and in good health two days later in a building elevator. Officials believe the tortoise was stolen and then returned. Which would be easier to explain than her just having run away.

A rate Honus Wagner baseball card just sold for $2.1 million. What’s crazier, the price for a single card, or the fact that these days $2.1 million might get you a mediocre middle reliever?

A 22-year-old Oklahoma mom was arrested for allegedly trying to sell her 2-year old and 10-month old kids on Facebook. What kind of monster tries to sell little children? Teenagers, well, okay that makes sense.

(My friend Abbe Nelson says says you get better prices for kids on Ebay..  And Michael M. adds “More sad tales of the demise of newspapers. Once upon a time, it was very easy to sell small children through classifieds.”)


Is there a worse invention in college basketball than the possession arrow? Seriously. How hard is it to learn how to throw up a basketball for a jump ball?

Free-agent DB Charles Woodson, 36, says no NFL teams have offered him a contract because they think he’s too old. Shame Woodson didn’t take up baseball instead of football. He’s almost old enough to be signed by the Yankees.


Not a Rick Warren fan but very sad to hear his report his son shot himself: “Today, after a fun evening together with Kay and me, in a momentary wave of despair at his home, he took his life.” Without a gun a “momentary wave of despair” might not have been fatal.

CNN reports North Korea has told diplomats it cannot guarantee their safety if war breaks out but is encouraging tour groups to stay. Well, at least daredevils now have a scarier vacation option than a Carnival cruise.


Oops. The NY Post reports that Yankees fans who google “Yankees box office phone number” will find a number for a phone sex line. Well, some (male) fans may decide the new number provides more value for money.

Santa Clara beat George Mason 80-77 for the College Basketball Invitational title. So do schools raise a CBI banner?

There’s always a silver lining for someone.   Mike Rice and company at Rutgers at least have meant that Chris Christie and Snooki are off the hook  as the top New Jersey punchlines.

John Lackey  exited his first start of the year with an arm injury. He had signed an $82 million, 5 year contract with the Red Sox in 2009. Who’d a thunk then that Barry Zito’s 7 year $126 million 2006 contract might look like the better deal?


Another thought on the whole Obama-Kamala Harris mountain of a molehill:   So where’s the outrage when someone suggests a male politician is good looking?


The blame game…

August 27, 2009

Louisville coach Rick Pitino says a sex scandal involving a woman accused of trying to extort him has been “pure hell” for his family and that he’s had enough. Well, if he had had “enough” he wouldn’t have “had” to end up on that table…

Ever notice how the guys who most say it’s about their family, didn’t care enough about their family to avoid getting in trouble in the first place?

Johan Santana will undergo season-ending elbow surgery, but insists he would have continued pitching had the Mets been in contention. Which means he could have had the surgery in May.

The Phillies’ Ryan Madson, filling in for closer Brad Lidge, blew his fifth save in nine save situations. Lidge himself has blown nine save situations in 2009. In nearby Washington, D.C. they are still scratching their heads. “What’s a save situation?”

In the Canadian Football League, the Montreal Alouettes, at 7-1, with no other team better than 4-3, certainly look unbeatable. The Alouettes, however, have been in four of the last six Grey Cups (the Canadian Super Bowl.) And they have lost all four.

Does this mean if they crumble again in the championship it will be known as a Shark Tank?

US Air says they are raising their fees to check bags by $5. No word on how much they will charge to actually have the bag show up at your destination.

Another good thought from Alex Kaseberg.

In the HBO series “Hard Knocks” Cincinnati Bengals QB Carson Palmer humiliated his center, Kyle Cook, on camera, by complaining that his hand stunk after placing it under Cook’s butt for the snap. What kind of ignorant and arrogant primma donna insults a guy so responsible for his own protection? Where did Palmer go to college? USC? Oh, yeah.

When will they ever learn…

August 13, 2009

The latest “family values” celebrity hoist by his own, well petard equivalent, is Rick Pitino.

The media reports refer to him as a “married father of five.” But okay, since he has already admitted to at least one incident of unprotected sex in a restaurant with a woman he had just met…. Well, maybe that “five” number is a little conservative.

Dick Cheney now says that he was “frustrated” with George W. Bush.

Well, so much for all those who say our former V.P. is out of touch with the country?

The IOC rejected baseball’s application to return as an Olympic sport. Which means that fans of amateur baseball will just have to settle for the Pirates and Nationals.

John Edwards will apparently admit he is the father of his ex-mistress’s baby. Should we be surprised? He was late in deciding to pull out of Iraq too.

Bad news for John Edwards. First, the paternity test shows his girlfriend’s baby is his daughter. Second, that means another family member who could grow up prettier than he is.