Posted tagged ‘Spurs jokes’
February 22, 2018
Kawhi Leonard may be out for year. Damn, as a liberal Spurs fan I miss days when that would be most depressing news of the week.
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Although if Spurs end up 3rd seed in West without Kawhi, Popovich should be a unanimous coach of the year.
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Don’t care who wins, shootouts are still a sucky way to determine a hockey gold medal.
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But seriously, these women have worked for years to make it to Olympics. For a gold medal they can’t let them play until someone scores a REAL goal in overtime?
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Mikaela Shiffrin brought 35 pairs of skis to Olympics. Ah, but how many pairs of shoes did she bring?
Billy Graham prayed with every President since Truman during their presidency. Except Donald Trump. Why I am not surprised?
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That moment when the President of the United States needs a cue card to pretend to be human…
At least Marco Rubio did the CNN Town Hall without cue cards.
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The kids are more than alright. The kids are damn impressive. #ParklandStudentsSpeak
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So would Right-wing trolls please explain how they think high school kids aren’t old enough to advocate for gun control but they are old enough to buy AR-15s?
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Florence Yared, 17 yr-old Parkland survivor to Congress “Soon we will be able to vote, and we will vote you out.” You go girl!
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Trump today “If you had a teacher who was adept with firearms, they could end the attack very quickly.” Could those armed teachers start with the attack on the education budget?
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So maybe we can take a lead from Betsy Devos and protect schools with trained grizzly bears? #Beararms
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NRA’s Dana Loesch says you should be able to buy any gun you want “if you are not a danger to yourself or your community.” The Vegas shooter didn’t seem like a danger. Until he was….
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Marco Rubio has 2 teenage & 2 pre-teen children. Yeah, I’m an optimist but it seems like maybe these kids got to him tonight. #StudentsStandUp
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While Texas superintendent threatens to suspend students from class 3 days for protesting gun violence, kids in Parkland have missed 5+ days of class because their school is an active crime scene.
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Donald Trump wants teachers to bravely take on shooters in schools….while he’s not even brave enough to take on media at press conferences
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: hockey jokes, Janice Hough, Olympics jokes, Spurs jokes
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May 9, 2017
Remember those days when not paying attention to internet at work meant you just missed out on cat videos & sports scores?
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LaVar Ball now says that even Michael Jordan couldn’t sell shoes for $495. “Because he ain’t Lonzo Ball, that’s why. Did he have his own brand coming in? It’s a new era called the Ball era.”
Damn, I miss the days when LaVar would have been the most outrageous person quoted in the news.
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Time to change U.S. motto from “E pluribus unum” to “mildly nauseated.”
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#JamesComey has been fired by President. Trump’s not showing much gratitude to the man who got him the job.
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So it’s going to be a tough decision for Trump to appoint a new FBI director to replace #Comey: Will it be Ivanka or Jared?
#KellyannConway says #Comey‘s firing was “not a cover-up” Guess she’s resurfaced from whatever lifeboat she was pushed into.
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Seems pretty obvious that Trump thinks political cost of firing #Comey will be less than political cost of letting him keep investigating.
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If Trump bans all cameras, laptops, Kindles & iPads as carry-ones for intl flights biz travelers & parents could join to demand impeachment.
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In Washington, a tunnel has apparently collapsed at Hanford nuclear waste site. But hey, who needs those burdensome federal safety regulations?
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Is this what it was like to watch the 1962 Mets? @SFGiants
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SF Giants put Melancon on the 10-day DL with a “mild right pronator strain. Well, not like there have been that many games to save.
No Tony Parker, no Kawhi Leonard, and Spurs beat Rockets in OT. Someone check Manu Ginoboli for illicit fountain of youth water.
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Ginobili, after his game of his decade, saved the game for Spurs with a block on Harden. Amazing. He didn’t look a day over 38.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: comey jokes, fbi jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, Spurs jokes
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March 27, 2017
It’s beginning to look possible that even without Tim Duncan the San Antonio Spurs are a pretty good basketball team.
(San Antonio 103- Cleveland 74.)
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San Antonio assistant coach Becky Hammon apparently turned down the head coaching job with the women’s basketball team at the University of Florida. Clearly the idea of a woman coach staying in their locker room didn’t hurt the Spurs too badly tonight against the Cavs.
Looking at way UConn women are cutting a swath through their NCAA tournament you almost wonder if they should have been seeded w/ the men.
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#Raiders moving to Vegas. Still may be cheaper for Oakland fans to fly to Las Vegas for a game than buy tickets in #Warriors new SF arena.
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Jed York, on the Raiders move “I don’t think it’s a big win for the 49ers.” Well, yeah, Oakland fans have gotten used to watching a professional team.
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Only vote against #Raiders move came from #Dolphins. Did Miami owner have dreams of moving to Vegas himself?
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Being a San Francisco Bay Area fan of the Saints and Spurs, there are some advantages: Teams can’t break your heart by moving out of town. The SF Giants on the other hand, better stay put. 
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Cleveland LT Joe Thomas says no one has signed Colin Kaepernick for this year because he’s a “distraction.” Hmm, the way the Browns play guessing their fans could use all the distractions they can get.
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Now it comes out that Nunes says he was on the White House grounds the day before revealing Trump surveillance info. because he was just looking for a safe place to go over the information.
If this were a movie script it might be rejected as too unbelievable.
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I will believe airlines have a real dress code first time they kick some man off flight for wearing inappropriate clothing
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The Dow is down for an 8th straight day. #WWTB – Who will Trump blame?
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The Trump administration wants $1 billion funding just to cover 62 miles of their proposed border wall. $1 billion?! All of a sudden California’s proposed high-speed rail is looking like a bargain.
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Jeff Sessions says “sanctuary cities must end.” So anyone who wants protection after committing a crime better join Trump administration.
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Now Tomi Lahren has been suspended permanently from the Blaze for saying she was pro-choice. So has her slippery slope to liberalism begun?
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In Russia, opposition leader Alexei Navalny was sentenced today Monday to 15 days in jail and fined $350 for leading anti-govt protests in Moscow. Wonder if Trump has called Putin saying “How do you do that?”
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Maybe you should dance like there’s nobody watching. but that doesn’t mean you should govern that way.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cavs jokes, Janice Hough, Las Vegas Jokes, Raiders jokes, Spurs jokes, wall jokes
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March 12, 2017
Yeah, even rich superstars face tough decisions. Draymond Green, unhappy at some calls in last night’s Warriors loss, said he thought about speaking out and getting a $25,000 fine from the league. But he decided to keep his mouth shut and buy a fancy watch instead.
Lots of people who will start working on brackets will be united tomorrow in 1 thought “UC Davis HAS a men’s basketball team? #marchmadness
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Thinking #Duke #NotreDame might have tied an NCAA record as far as a basketball game where most viewers wanted to see both teams lose.
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How many casual NBA fans turned on tonight’s nationally televised game & say “Wait, thought this was @Warriors @Spurs Who are these guys?
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And who knew the guy who would REALLY make Northern California proud tonight in the Spurs Warriors game was St. Mary grad Patty Mills?
In Sacramento a woman was arrested for felony vandalism after driving her SUV this morning through the front doors of the county jail. Well, give her points for police convenience.
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Pope Francis, acknowledging a shortage of priests, has indicated openness to allowing married men to be ordained. So for all his progressiveness, still better a married man than a celibate woman?
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Federal prosecutor Preet Bharara, who was asked personally by Trump to stay on three months ago, today was fired after he refused a sudden demand from AG Sessions to resign.
Well, this ought to make anyone about to make a deal with this administration feel warm and fuzzy.
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Why do I think we haven’t heard the last of #PreetBharara? Paging mean bitch Karma.
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Trump was regularly critical of Obama for playing golf. Guess he thinks Presidents should only play golf on courses they own?
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Who says Presidents don’t have tough decisions. With #daylightsavings Trump will have to choose whether to tweet at 2a or 3am tonight.
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An intruder who apparently jumped the White House fence last night around told police he had an appointment with Donald Trump. So maybe he was there to help the President with his Twitter account?
Due to intruder last night White House reportedly placed under temporary “orange alert.” Uh, hasn’t it been on orange alert since Jan 20?
Trump this afternoon praised the Secret Service for doing — a “fantastic job” apprehending a “troubled person” approaching the White House this morning.
Especially as most of the President’s Oval Office meetings are already full up on troubled persons.
Categories: basketball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Daylight savings jokes, Janice Hough, March madness jokes, Spurs jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
March 7, 2017
So if the Cavs win it all this year, does Andrew Bogut get a ring?
(Bogut was injured about 30 seconds into his first game with Cleveland.)
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Your tax $$ at work. Andrew Bogut, before his injury, couldn’t practice before game w/ #Cavs today because of work visa issues. Ah those scary Australians.
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After Kawhi Leonard’s 39 point performance tonight in a 112-110 win over the Rockets, which included a late clutch three, a block and then two game clinching free throws, the Spurs star got chosen for a “random” drug test. Will the test reveal if Kawhi was born on this planet?
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Israel beat South Korea and Taipei in #WorldBaseballClassic. Shocking even serious baseball fans who didn’t realize Israel had a team in #WBC
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GM to lay off 1,100 in Michigan. Somehow I missed the Trump tweet taking credit.
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The Israeli cabinet approved a plan to decriminalize marijuana. Cool. Two words: kosher Doritos.
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Meanwhile, in England, parliament is debating a ban on high heels in the workplace. Seems to me there’s a simple solution, high heels can be a required part of the dress code if men have to wear them too..
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#BenCarson talks about “immigrants who came here in bottom of slave ships.” Proving again. even med schools have share of #cantfixstupid
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Somehow I must have missed Ben Carson talking about the immigrants who built those grain silos in Egypt.
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So now Kellyanne Conway says of Trump’s claim that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower “He’s the President of the United States. He has information and intelligence that the rest of us do not.”
Forgetting perhaps that Trump doesn’t believe in intelligence briefings?
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The chaotic first Trump travel ban was immediate because “if the ban were announced with a one week notice, the ‘bad’ would rush into our country during that week.” The revised ban signed today takes effect March 16. So the “bad dudes” have slowed down?”
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The U.S. Soccer Federation has a new policy that says national team players “shall stand respectfully” during national anthems.
So good to see such a fine upstanding sport as soccer is focused on what’s really important.
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So it’s $200,000 to get into #MaraLago & hang out w/ Trump on weekends. What’s the price for where he’s planning to spend summer weekends?
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Reducing # of insured by 20 million in US will take care of some of Social Security deficit. Can’t collect benefits when dead.
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The GOP proposal to replace Obamacare would allow insurers to charge 30% more to anyone who goes without coverage for more than 2 months, or to anyone who turns 27 and doesn’t immediately buy their own insurance.
But this isn’t a mandate. The same as the travel EO isn’t a Muslim ban. #sarcasm
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Ben Carson jokes, bogut jokes, Janice Hough, Spurs jokes, Trump jokes, WBC jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 23, 2016
The SF 49ers, embroiled in a financial battle over stadium management with Santa Clara, have now slammed the city’s “‘disturbing trend of frivolous actions”
Uh, doesn’t “disturbing trend of frivolous actions” basically sum up the 49ers’ recent coaching decisions and draft picks?
Jill Stein is raising money for a recount in MI, WI & PA. Of course if Stein had really cared about the election she could have just not run.
RIP #Ralphbranca. So somewhere in heaven is #BobbyThomson smiling while he takes batting practice? #Dodgers #Giants
San Antonio @Spurs won again by 5, tonight against Hornets. Will #Popovich just send out a video of last night’s rant and say “ditto?”
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Wendell Carter, a power forward considered the top uncommitted recruit for 2017, says he is going to Duke. These are tough decisions for these young men, deciding where to spend several months of their lives.
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At this point aren’t all the warnings about the Samsung One Note 7 smart phones just a suggestion for potential terrorists on how to catch a plane on fire?
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Trump has decided “the law’s totally on my side, the president can’t have a conflict of interest.” So while the Donald accused Hillary Clinton of “pay-to-play” with her foundation, he’s going to take care of things by getting richer and richer while IN the White House.
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In California, as of today an estimated 1,797,333 unprocessed ballots remained in California from the Nov. 8 election. Wow. If only we had some creative high-tech talent in the state to work on a faster solution.
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Carnival pulling the plug on their new “Fathom” volunteer-work oriented cruise line, which was designed for an “under-served market of consumers who want to have a positive impact on people’s lives”
Turns out the positive impact most cruise passengers really want on vacation is more about tipping waiters who bring them beer and umbrella drinks
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Well, to be fair #BenCarson is probably as qualified to be Secretary of HUD as Donald Trump is to be President of the United States.
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In March, Donald Trump tweeted “The people of South Carolina are embarrassed by Nikki Haley!” Today he appointed Haley Ambassador to the UN. Does this mean the Donald has changed his mind. Or is he showing us what he thinks of the UN?
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#BetsyDeVos for Education secretary. Guess it makes #Trump sense, put someone in charge who doesn’t believe in public schools….
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The NEA teacher’s union estimates that 1/3 of their members voted for Trump. And now the Donald has put a voucher advocate who hates public schools as head of the Dept. of Education.
Mean bitch karma is clearly bipartisan.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, ben carson, Janice Hough, nikki haley, Spurs jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 25, 2016
So maybe Golden State Warriors don’t want pressure of an undefeated season? Or maybe Greg Popovich is a very very good coach
And maybe Spurs assistant coach Becky Hammon, who was head coach of the Spurs D-league in 2014 when Jonathan Simmons took MVP honors 2014, is also a pretty good coach.
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Big night in sports. #WorldSeries began for MLB. And the NBA started the 82-game second phase of their preseason.
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World Series started tonight. Maybe if MLB actually showed some regular season games and put the playoffs on network television, millions of Americans might be able to name at least one Cleveland Indian.
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#CarlosSantana starting at DH for @Indians. Casual fans thinking shouldn’t he play anthem instead & isn’t he kind of old. #WorldSeries
So for a while tonight it was looking like it was not just Bruce Bochy who might have pulled a star starter in playoffs too early.
But reliever Andrew Miller, with a 3 run lead, got the tying run to the plate in the 7th and 8th innings… and got out of it both times. What a concept. #SFGiants #Sigh
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The NY Giants have released kicker Josh Brown, saying that “Our beliefs, our judgments and our decisions were misguided.”
Translation, we never believed those documents would be made public.
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In select markets, #Arby’s announced they will begin testing venison sandwiches in select markets. Oh, deer.
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Tuesday was #NationalPassiveAggressive day. Fine, whatever.
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Barack Obama on Jimmy Kimmel last night “What I don’t do is at 3 a.m. I don’t tweet about people who insulted me. I try to sleep so that in the morning I’m actually ready for a crisis.”
Waiting for the Donald tonight at 3 a.m. to insult the President’s stamina.
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Glenn Beck just said he thinks Donald Trump is a sociopath. Well, the pot SHOULD be a kettle expert.
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A new White House executive action will require airlines to refund baggage fees for delayed baggage. Seems reasonable. Wonder how much airlines will raise fees to cover it.
A British Airways flight from San Francisco to London made an emergency landing in Vancouver after the entire crew, including the pilot, became ill. Did they all have the fish? #Ahospitalwhatisit? #surelyyoucantbeserious
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Justin Timberlake posted a selfie of himself doing early voting wth a covered up ballot, urging people to vote. But pictures in polling places are illegal in Tennessee. The horror. Trump claiming election fraud in 3.2.1…..
After Megyn Kelly told Newt Gingrich people have a right to hear reporting on women accusing Trump of being a “sexual predator, ” Gingrich actually shouted “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy!”
Well, that should help with the women’s vote.
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Trump told Reuters today as President he would not put any Democrats in his cabinet. Which could be tough. Not sure the Donald could find enough Republicans he hasn’t mortally offended.
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Colin Powell today announced ““I am voting for Hillary Clinton.” Waiting for attack tweets from #DonaldTrump against Powell in 3.2.1….
My boat would have been huge, the best, that shark would have been sushi. Only losers get eaten. #TrumpaHorrorMovie
He had very small hands. I ate them with fava beans & the bestest Chianti. #TrumpAHorrorMovie.
From Mark Ricklis “Have you seen the new Trump website? Grope-on.”
Categories: airline jokes, baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: andrew miller jokes, arby's jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, josh brown jokes, Popovich jokes, Spurs jokes, Warriors jokes, World Series joke
Comments: 1 Comment
May 2, 2016
If you had to say one good thing about NBA refs it’s that they make you appreciate MLB umpires.
Well this ought to do wonders for those who say #NBA games are fixed. #offensivefoul #OKCvsSAS #Spurs
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Not saying Ginoboli got hacked on that inbound at the end of the Oklahoma City -San Antonio game, but 7 of 10 NFL refs might have called a penalty.
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In Cincinnati, Johnny Cueto got a nice ovation from #Reds fans just by showing up. He didn’t have to thank them by pitching batting practice in the 3rd #SFGiants
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Although, while Cueto did give up six runs, he also got a couple RBI’s. The #SFGiants are leading baseball with pitchers with hits and RBI’s. 11 each. #wedontneednostinkingDH #Pitcherswhorake
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A marijuana dispensary is apparently interested in taking over the naming rights for the Denver Broncos’ Sports Authority stadium. Leaving aside the Mile High jokes, this could really be a great marketing partnership for Peyton Manning’s Papa John’s pizza.
Pablo Sandoval has had shoulder surgery and will miss the rest of the 2016 season. Maybe to improve the Panda’s chances in 2017 the Red Sox will request a two-handed sling that makes it impossible for him to hold a fork?
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Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Bob Dylan and Roger Waters all posted on social media with an apparent tease for a mega concert this October. Shocking! All those old farts know how to use social media?
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Sports Authority is liquidating all its stores. Sports Authority still had stores?
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Ted Cruz on the campaign trail “we will not give into evil….” This is the man who put Carly Fiorina on his ticket?
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Carly Fiorina felt off a stage at a Cruz rally today. As opposed to Cruz’s campaign itself, which seems to have fallen off a cliff.
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Really? Now, I know there is no love lost between ESPN and Curt Schilling, and Schilling was an idiot to keep posting incendiary stuff after his employers told him to stop. But now the network aired an “30 for 30” about the Red Sox miracle ALCS comeback in 2004 against the Yankees and cut out the “bloody sock” game.
What are we, folks, ten year old boys?
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Turing Pharmaceuticals, Martin Shkreli’s former company, which raised the price of an AIDS drug 5,000% has been sued for breach of contract by the company that let it sell the drug in the first place.
Not sure which lawyers Turing might get for their defense – maybe some who find the Cruz campaign too warm and fuzzy?
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Old Navy is now getting heat from internet trolls over an ad featuring an interracial family. Ok, now as misguided as these folks are who are against transgenders in bathrooms over the fear factor, who exactly do they expect an interracial family to hurt?
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While we’re at it, assume none of these anti-interracial family trolls are sports fans….particularly of the NBA – Tony Parker, Klay Thompson, Blake Griffin…. for starters. And then there’s Derek Jeter.
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Donald Trump is criticizing Hillary Clinton for her “off the reservation” comment, saying “If I made that statement about women, then there’d be front page headlines I think it’s a very nasty statement to men…”
I think even the pot and the kettle are both giggling.
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Four Auburn sophomore football players were arrested on misdemeanor marijuana charges last weekend, three who were reserves, and one, Carlton Davis III, who was a freshman All-American. Coach Gus Malzahn said “we will handle the matter appropriately.
Translation, the three reserves might be suspended for Auburn’s opener against Clemson, and Davis III might be suspended for the Tigers’ second game against Arkansas State.
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We Americans love underdogs. So we can happily congratulate #Leicester on a great Premier League championship. Without ever watching a soccer game.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #offensivefoul, Carly Fiorina jokes, Cruz jokes, cueto jokes, SFGiants jokes, Spurs jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 25, 2016
Oops, this one didn’t get posted yesterday . So a bit out of order…. I blame Obama.
Steph Curry’s MRI has worst case looking 3-5 weeks. The good news for Warriors fans, that’s only about another round of the NBA playoffs.
The #Lakers have fired coach #ByronScott. Who’s to say #KobeBryant didn’t get any results his farewell season?
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This week in England they honored Shakespeare on the 400th anniversary of his death in 1616. Curiously enough wasn’t that also Tim Duncan’s rookie year?
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Although in truth, LaMarcus Aldridge giving post-game interview after #Spurs sweep, said “Tim’s 100 years old, he needs the rest.”
Thinking it’s a really good thing San Antonio won today and has a week off, from games and interviews. Because if any reporter made some comment to Popovich about the #Spurs being happy to see Curry hurt it would be ugly.
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When the Grizzlies were trying to avoid sweep by the Spurs, FedEx Forum had an 18 minute power outage. Usually it isn’t literal to say “Turn out the lights, the party’s over.”
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Congrats to the Charlotte Hornets for their first playoff win since 2002. To put that in perspective, in 2002 Warriors coach Steve Kerr was still playing for the Spurs. Along with Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginoboli….
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#Yankees are featured on Monday, Wednesday and #Sundaynightbaseball this week. Good to know #ESPN is already in midseason form.
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John Kasich says his campaign is vetting possible vice presidential running mates. In related news, the Houston Rockets are looking at possible dates for a NBA championship parade.
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Apparently more than 340,000 people have signed a pledge to boycott Target because the store says it will allow customers to use restrooms and fitting rooms matching their gender identity. But wonder how many more millions are now MORE likely to shop there
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Applebee’s is advertising their “2 for $20” menu featuring a burger quesadilla. The sandwich clocks in at about 1,400 calories and over 100 grams of fat. So it’s a good thing it’s a bargain, you need to save the money for a cardiologist.
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Seriously, so glad that the #Nationals were smart enough to give Dusty Baker another chance. Even if it took Bud Black turning the job down first. Bryce Harper post game today – “To be able to have the opportunity to play for Dusty, that desire and that mentality that he brings every single day to let us just have fun to let us enjoy this game,…”
Donald Trump says “I don’t think I’m going to lose, but if I do, I don’t think you’re ever going to see me again.” Wow. Promise?! #Hillaryjustpickedupalotmoresupporters
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: applebees jokes, baseball jokes, Spurs jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
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April 25, 2016
Just thinking, if Moses tried to lead his people out of Egypt today how many would have had to be left behind bitching about food allergies?
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Happy 40th Birthday to Tim Duncan. If the Spurs manage to win him one more ring, San Antonio will have the first NBA championship parade to do the entire route with their left blinkers on.
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Mark Cuban today before game 5 made a comment that Kevin Duran was the “one superstar” on the OKC Thunder, but that Russell Westbrook was ” an All-Star but not a superstar.”
Yeah, that worked out well.
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Grade 1 sprain for Steph Curry. Which means that millions of Warriors fans are suddenly going to become amateur knee doctors for the next few weeks.
ESPN reports that the NFL says no player tested positive for drugs during February’s scouting combine. Meaning either that this year’s draft class is clean, or that they were smart enough not to do anything until AFTER the combine.
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Yeah, professional athletes aren’t quite like the rest of us. Sunday’s “Style” section of the SF Chronicle focused on “FashionWarriors,” Golden State players and their post game looks. Andre Iguodola looked sharp in a sweater pants combination with some expensive jewelry but noted “it’s just an old Gucci sweater, a couple of seasons at least.”
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Panthers RB Cameron Artis-Payne was reportedly arrested for driving 102 in a 65 mph zone in rural North Carolina. Hmm, with that kind of speed maybe Artis-Payne should consider a career change to NASCAR..
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A federal appeals court has ruled in favor of the NFL in the “deflategate” case, and reinstated New England Patriots Tom Brady’s original suspension. Your tax dollars at work.
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Donald Trump is now referring to Ohio’s governor as “1 for 38 Kasich,” based on the 1 state Kasich won. Maybe the Donald isn’t really running for President – he’s trying to be “Triumph, the Insult Dog.”
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Megyn Kelly has announced that Donald Trump has agreed to sit down with her for an interview to air next month. Proving once again, that we CAN all get along – especially when rating$$$$$ are involved.
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Another thought on this bathroom craziness. The talk is mostly of men in women’s rooms. But leaving aside the fact that it isn’t always obvious, do all these alarmists want, for example, a big burly transgender with facial hair who was born female forced to use the ladies’ room?
Karma in mean bitch mode again. Some users want to sue Ashley Madison for revealing their personal information. Except a judge has ruled that to go forward with the lawsuit, they must reveal their real names.
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Sam Bradford has now demanded a trade because he figures the Eagles will draft a better QB. Hmm, sounds like the guy might be a perfect fit for the 49ers.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: curry jokes, duncan jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, NFL draft jokes, Passover jokes, Spurs jokes, Thunder jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
April 12, 2016
Of course it’s only April, but the two Orange & Black teams in #MLB are a combined 14-2. #Orioles #SFGiants
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#BusterPosey might be googling #WallyPipp on his phone about now. #TrevorBrown #SFGiants
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#BruceBochy said before Monday’s #SFGiants #Rockies game he’d like #TrevorBrown to hit a home run in all of his starts. So is #Brown taking him seriously?
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#Dodgers payroll over $253,000,000. Now #MagicJohnson was 1 of greatest ever #NBA players. But did anyone tell him #MLB teams need something called a bullpen?
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Tickets to Kobe Bryant’s last game are going for at least $800. But really, if you just wanted to see Bryant play a meaningless game, for that price you could have probably bought tickets to the Lakers whole home season.
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Headline: “Lindsay Lohan is engaged. ” And most Americans no doubt are thinking “in what?”
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Popular porn site xHamster announced yesterday that when anyone with a North Carolina IP address visits the site, they will be asked if they support the new anti-LGBT law. If they say “yes,” they will be blocked. Now that’s REALLY hitting below the belt.
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John Kasich again last night in an interview said there is “zero” chance he would serve as v.p. “I would be the worst vice president the country ever saw. I’m not a vice president, I’m a president.”
Somewhere Dick Cheney is going “And your point is?”
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Paul Ryan, “Let me be clear: I do not want, nor will I accept the nomination for our party.”
Didn’t he say the same thing about becoming Speaker?
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The NFL has denied Josh Gordon’s petition for reinstatement. Of course, it doesn’t help when you petition AND fail a drug test in the same month.
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Music producer and reality tv star, David Gest, 62, known best to Americans as Liza Minnelli’s ex-husband, was found dead at a London hotel today. He had been preparing to tour with a new show “David Gest Is Not Dead But Alive With Soul.” Guess maybe it wasn’t the best choice of title. #bustohell
Donald Trump is upset about the possibility about losing the GOP nomination despite having the most delegates. “The system, folks, is rigged. It’s a rigged, disgusting, dirty system.”
Now Trump doesn’t really have a problem with a rigged system, he’s just used to being the one doing the rigging.
And btw, who says the Spurs are boring? Though just guessing none of them will get a call anytime soon from #DWTS. https://twitter.com/spurs/status/719925467042582528/photo/1
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Giants jokes, Janice Hough, Kobe jokes, Paul Ryan jokes, SFGiants jokes, Spurs jokes, Trevor Brown jokes, Trump jokes, xhamsterjokes
Comments: 6 Comments
March 19, 2016
Tough loss for Yale after a valiant comeback against Duke today. But to ease the pain guessing when they get home the players’ butlers will make the martinis extra dry.
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Even with a loss, how often will these Ivy League #Yale kids have the life experience of being cheered as underdogs? #dukevsyale
Well, whatever other troubles #Obama has this week, having his #MarchMadness pick #Kansas out before the #Sweet16 won’t be one of them.
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Between the #CBS #MarchMadness shows and the commercials I think we’re just not seeing enough of #CharlesBarkley
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That moment when ESPN tells you you’re at about the 92th percentile in their March Madness brackets going into Saturday night games andnd then you realize that in a midnight whim you picked Gonzaga into the Sweet Sixteen…. 🙂 (Am now 97% – #dumbluck #abouttofall :-)))
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Stat of the night from #ESPN: #Warriors & #Spurs combined have fewer losses going into tonight (16) than next best team (#Cavaliers 19).
And even tonight, (17 )
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Wonder how many #MarchMadness players watched #GSvsSA game and realized some #Spurs stars are old enough to be their fathers? #GoSpursGo
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Okay, heaven knows I am not a Donald Trump fan. But trying to protest by blocking public roads? Chris Christie can tell you that’s not a winning political strategy.
A U.S. Court of Appeals dismissed a class-action lawsuit filed by a woman that Fresh Inc, tricks customers with their $24 “Sugar Lip Treatment” because only 75% of the product twists up beyond the tube opening, so you have to dig the last 25% out. . Uh, just maybe because if you really care about that kind of value you could just buy a $2 Chapstick?
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An 18 year-old showing his gun to his friend accidentally fatally shot that friend on Friday in Copiague, New York, Your move, Florida. #ifonlyhisfriendwasarmed
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Now Trump is questioning if Mitt Romney is really a Mormon? What’s next, will Trump ask if the Pope is Catholic?
So in the general election does #Trump plan to question if #Hillary is really a woman?
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Herman Cain says Donald Trump is not a racist. Nein, nein, nein.
From Marc Ragovin, “Bernie Sanders campaigned in Flagstaff, Az. the other day. Although the way his run has been going, he should have chosen Tombstone.”
Categories: March madness jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: brackets jokes, Janice Hough, March madness jokes, NCAA jokes, NCAA tournament jokes, Spurs jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
February 19, 2016
#Spurs 119 #Lakers 113. Kobe Bryant 25 points, Tim Duncan double-double. Another great battle for the aged.
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And here I thought the #Spurs looked rusty after the All Star Break. #Warriors
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The Texas Rangers will host an event this weekend where fans who hit a home run at the ballpark can win season tickets. The Atlanta Braves reportedly will have a scout at the event to offer the winning fan a contract.
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Former #Mets #Dodgers and #SFGiants infielder #JuanUribe has signed with the #Indians. Guess he got tired of all that playoff pressure.
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Jonathan Papelbon has publicly apologized for choking Bryce Harper. Since Dusty Baker is the new Nationals manager, have to wonder if starting the season in long relief was a possible alternative.
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Serious post for a change – R.I.P. former SF Giants player and manger Jim Davenport, 82, and former Oakland A’s infielder Tony Phillips, 56. 82 is sad, 56 is way way way too young.
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Okay, a well-publicized story about a Detroit woman giving birth to her 14th child from 14 different fathers turns out to be fake. We should have known better, she wasn’t also the first woman to play in the NFL.
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Harper Lee has passed away at the age of 89. Hope it wasn’t all those reviews of “Go Set a Watchman” that killed her.
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Because of a flight delay, Chinese airline Hainan put two women, who didn’t know each other, up in a hotel near the airport. They ended up with an “erotic” room with whips, chains etc. Men are reading this and thinking “Just another way in which U.S. airlines lag foreign carriers.”
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Apparently the U.S. no-fly list may have resulted in security problems and boarding delays for many Canadian children who have similar names to those on the list, even on flights within Canada. So assume their response is #BlameAmerica
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The University of Texas has announced that they will soon allow students to carry handguns on campus. Well, since most students are under 21, fortunately there’s no chance any of them will be able to drink while they carry. #sarcasm
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Robert Jeffress, pastor of the First Baptist Dallas church, says of Pope Francis’s comments about Christians not building walls: “The pope needs to ask for Donald Trump’s forgiveness for sing such an outlandish thing,” Once again, this is putting a whole new meaning on #Jesuswept
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#youcantmakethisstuffup Donald Trump has tweeted out a call for a boycott of Apple until the company agrees to unlock the San Bernadino shooter’s phone. He sent the tweet on his iPhone.
More of this “stuff” you can’t make up. Marco Rubio now says on “day one” of his presidency, he will stop protecting “Dreamers,” (undocumented immigrants who came to the U.S as children) from deportation. Great way to pay it forward for someone who was himself an anchor baby.
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Sen. Ted Cruz, with the latest rationale for not holding Senate hearings for whoever Obama nominates to the Supreme Court. “I think that hearing would end up very politicized. And I don’t think it would be fair to the nominee.”
George Orwell would be SO proud.
Saw this trending on FB: “Jaimie Alexander and Peter Facinelli: Couple Ends Their Engagement, Representatives Say.” Anyone but me going “Who?”
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, gun jokes, harper lee, Janice Hough, Spurs jokes, Texas jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
January 27, 2016
All 7 New England Patriots selected to the Pro Bowl will miss the game due to “injuries.” Right, they’re sick about losing to Peyton Manning and the Broncos.
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Meanwhile, the Spurs did not appear TOO traumatized by their loss to the Warriors. (San Antonio 130, Houston 99, and it wasn’t that close.)
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Congrats to Gregg Popovich for being named the NBA Western Conference All-Star game coach. Just to show there are no hard feelings over Monday’s loss Pop has promised to make sure Steph Curry and Draymond Green both get to play at least 46 minutes.
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Cam Newton: “I’m an African-American quarterback that may scare a lot of people because they haven’t seen nothing that they can compare me to.” Even Joe Namath is thinking, “Kid, just a LITTLE humility, please.”
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A Twitter rumor has the New England Patriots talking to Stanford quarterback Kevin Hogan. Say it ain’t so. Did Hogan tell them Stanford has an Honor Code that says no cheating?
Today is the #ProBowl draft?! And if you knew that and cared, you might REALLY have too much time on your hands.
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Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has waived his fight against extradition and will be returning to Texas. Translation, Mexican detention centers probably aren’t the Four Seasons.
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So when #AbeVigoda showed up at the pearly gates wonder if St. Peter originally waived him off with “Go home, you’re not fooling me.”
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An American Airlines flight from London to Los Angeles had to turn around and return to Heathrow today due to some medical emergency involving passengers and crew. Let’s hope they didn’t have the fish.
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Got to love New Orleans priorities. A major 6 alarm fire in an empty building near the French Quarter has thankfully so far not resulted in any injuries. And the local headline “Canal Street fire could affect Mardi Gras parade route
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There’s a thing going around Facebook, if you were kidnapped, what TV shows’ characters would you want to come rescue you? Forget all these cop shows – give me Downton Abbey: NOBODY messes with the Dowager Duchess and Lady Mary.
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Donald Trump’s campaign manager – “What we know is Megyn Kelly is totally obsessed with Mr. Trump.” Uh, who is totally obsessed with who?
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So no one can figure out how to stop Donald Trump. Here’s an idea. Tell him if he is elected President all major networks will jointly appoint Megyn Kelly as their White House Correspondent.
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Ben Carson says about the election, “I see the threat being the fact that people sometimes are not well educated.”They don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, and yet these are people who vote.”
Right, and this is the same good doctor who says being gay is a choice and that the Jews could have prevented the Holocaust if they had guns.
U.S. public health officials are warning that we need to be prepared for the almost certain spread of the Zika virus. Waiting for anti-government types to demand that the feds do more to keep us safe.
Was at the bank today in Los Altos where the older woman in front of me apologized to the teller and stood back a bit from the counter, saying she had just come back from the Caribbean, had been bitten by some mosquitoes, and was afraid she might be contagious with the Zika virus. Sigh. Here we go again. #nothingtofearbutfearitself #feariswinning
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: facebook jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, New Orleans jokes, Pro Bowl jokes, Spurs jokes, Super Bowl Jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 21, 2015
The San Antonio Spurs, coached by Becky Hammon, just won the NBA Summer League. So, apparently real men don’t have a problem with sexual orientation in the locker room. #yougogirl
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Ashley Madison, the “dating” site for married people, has apparently been hacked and the hackers are threatening to post information on millions of users on line. Who knows, the U.S. political scene could be about to get a lot crazier.
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With the Ashley Madison hacking story making headlines, I see a new business model for some enterprising person – A company that will create a credible online to make it seem as if your identity was stolen. “Honest, honey, I have no idea how they got my name and credit card, clearly our personal information has been compromised.”
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Anyone who misses watching baseball games at Candlestick Park must have loved watching the final round of the #BritishOpen.
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Curt Schilling tweeted outrage that President Barack Obama failed to issue a proclamation to lower flags around government buildings to half-staff for the Chattanooga victims despite doing so for pop singer Whitney Houston.
Except that Obama didn’t do that. The only government official who ordered flags lowered for the pop star was NJ Gov. Chris Christie.
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A gay British man who voluntarily donates sperm says he has fathered 10 children with nine different women in just the last year. So the guy is either really altruistic, or he has delusions of being an NBA player.
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The Denver Nuggets have traded Ty Lawson to the Houston Rockets. Hoping it works out, but is it really a great idea to send a guy with 2 DUI’s in a year to a place with Texas’s very relaxed gun laws?
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A profile of Karen Hinton, who is New York Mayor DeBlasio’s press secretary, brings up a story from a 1999 book of how in 1984, when she was 24, then Arkansas governor Bill Clinton gave her a napkin with his room number on it. Shocking. Wouldn’t it be more of a story if Clinton in those days was talking to a pretty young blond woman and didn’t give her his room number?
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ACC commissioner John Swofford says the conference is “not trying to be Big Brother” in dealing with off-field issues like those at Florida State.
“Our approach $o far, and I don’t really $ee this changing, is that we have a lot of confidence in our in$titution$ to handle those $ituation$ when they occur.”
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In Iowa, a former lottery security official was found guilty of rigging a game so he could win a $14 million jackpot, and then trying to get someone to cash the prize for him. Hmm, anyone but me worried less about him than about the ones who aren’t stupid enough to get caught?
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Palo Alto, California, has been sweltering with temperatures in the mid 80s and 61% humidity. Thereby bringing ZERO sympathy from anyone in the Midwest, South and East.
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Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, probably THE reigning royal couple of country music, are getting divorced. No word who gets custody of the material for song lyrics.
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Between Blake and Miranda though, Taylor Swift might have some competition for “Best breakup song of the year.”
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Just in 2014, the NFL gave each teams each $226.4 million as part of national revenue sharing. But all the the league could afford was a $765 million settlement over concussion-related brain injuries for all its 18,000 retired players. I wish this were a joke.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #AshleyMadison, Ashley madison jokes, becky hammon, Blake Shelton jokes, Clinton jokes, country music jokes, Florida State jokes, Janice Hough, Miranda Lambert jokes, NBA jokes, Spurs jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
July 7, 2015
All-Star starters are set. In the AL, there are four KC Royals, the leading vote getter is a Toronto Blue Jay, and there are NO players from the NY Yankees or Boston Red Sox. Not sure who those ballot box stuffers were, but they clearly don’t work for ESPN.
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Sportswriter Jeff Passan, lamenting the All-Star Game selections, complained about Clayton Kershaw being left off the team when he is the ‘Best Pitcher in the World.” With all due respect, this year Kershaw might not even be the best pitcher on the Dodgers. #Greinke
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David West signs with San Antonio for $1.5 million, turning down $12 million with the Indiana Pacers. Either West really wants a ring, or he’s really bad at math.
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Manu Ginoboli tweeted today “Happy to announce that I’m coming back next season. #gospursgo #TDwouldvemissedmetoomuch.” So the Spurs machine will just keep rolling along, albeit probably with its left blinker on.
So are the Spurs done with free agents? One or two more discount deals and their payroll on average may be lower than some SEC football teams.
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Lots of discussion in the media today about how the U.S. women’s “long 16 year World Cup drought is over.” And Cubs fans are just weeping.
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20 riders are out of the “Tour de France” after a horrific crash. Fortunately all should recover, although the leader fractured vertebrae in his back. But you have to think someone connected with bike racing is musing “so how regularly do we have to have these crashes to increase viewership?”
Greece’s finance minister has resigned. Now there’s a position right now that might be as unenviable as managing the Philadelphia Phillies.
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SC State Senator Lee Bright interrupted the Confederate flag debate to argue against gay marriage, saying the “devil is taking control of this land.” And adding “This country was founded on Judeo Christian principles….
Sounds like Senator Bright’s knowledge of history is as great as his empathy for same-sex couples.
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Re the release of Cosby’s deposition in his 2005 sexual assault case, looks like his lawyer was right – “It would be terribly embarrassing for this material to come out.”
“I’m shocked” said almost no women. #hesaidshesaidshesaidshesaidshesaid…..
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Many NASCAR drivers are complaining over “pack racing”, because with so many similar cars bunched tightly together in one place during the competition, wrecks are likely. Sort of like the stage for the first GOP Presidential debate?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: All-Star Game jokes, baseball allstars jokes, Janice Hough, MLB jokes, Spurs jokes, World Cup jokes
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July 3, 2015
Who knew, one of the few ways to get bipartisan agreement in this country is to suggest putting peas in guacamole? #Justsayno
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Scary news for New Jersey residents – at least 30 toxic Portuguese man o’ wars have washed ashore on a state beach. Scary news for the man-o-wars – ending up somewhere as toxic as New Jersey.”
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So regarding this ex-CNN reporter who shot and killed an intruder when he and his ex-Headline News anchor wife were at a Motel 6 in Albuquerque. Motel 6?! Guess CNN doesn’t have much of a pension plan
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Tim Duncan announced he is returning to the San Antonio Spurs for a 19th season. What, no drama, no television show, no leaked contract issues, no public hang-wringing….? Can see why the Spurs never capture media attention.
Got to feel sorry for England’s Laura Bassett, whose “own goal” put Japan into the women’s World Cup Finals. On the bright side, ABC’s “Wide World of Sports” is off the air, so Bassett won’t forever be the fact of “The agony of defeat.”
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The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports the Cardinals have fired their scouting director Chris Correa after he admitted to hacking into the Houston Astros’ database. Wonder how much of a “pension” he will get for falling on his sword and claiming no one else was involved.
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Milwaukee bullpen catcher Marcus Hanel set a Citizens Bank Park record yesterday by eating 18 cheesesteaks over a 3-game period. The Red Sox hope no one shows this story to Pablo Sandoval.
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David Sweat now insists from his hospital bed that he didn’t have sex with the female prison worker accused of helping him escape, and that it was her idea to kill her husband. Can they sell the movie rights to this to pay for the costs of Sweat’s future incarceration?
SFPD has been arresting people selling illegal fireworks in Chinatown. When they find the buyers, they cite them and confiscate the fireworks. Uh, really want to deal with the problem? Arrest the buyers too. The market is likely to dry up pretty fast if these morons figured they could end up in jail, even for a day, over their purchases.
(I’m against “nanny laws” in general, but in a drought year, fireworks could easily start a fire that ends up killing people.)
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Right about now the happiest people in England have to be those who were ridiculed for arguing against the United Kingdom switching to the Euro.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #peasinguacamole, Janice Hough, New Jersey jokes, Spurs jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
April 28, 2015
Due to the riots in Baltimore, tomorrow’s White Sox-Orioles game is closed to the public. So players on both teams will get a chance to see what it felt like to play in Montreal’s Olympic Stadium.
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Hoping things calm down in Baltimore as much as anyone. But anyone but me think it’s a bit ironic that Ray Lewis has a video message out “Get off the streets. Violence is not the answer”?
So Donald Trump is back to attacking Obama, tweeting ‘Our great African American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore!’ And asking if “US taxpayers are expected to rebuilt it (the city) again?”
Funny that I don’t seem to remember the Donald’s similar outrage when U.S. taxpayers were expected to bail out the banks and Wall Street.
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As much of a mess as things are in Baltimore, Maryland does have some very strict gun laws. Wonder how Americans would feel if many of those rioters were armed?
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Why should men have all the fun? #Cantfixstupid, female division. A California woman was arrested at her home less than half an hour after allegedly burglarizing a house in Palo Alto. Police were able to track her so quickly because she dropped her driver’s license during the burglary.
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A YouTube user “TechRax” tested Apple’s new “Watch Sport” by dropping it from a height of about 3 1/2 feet. When it landed face-down the watch screen shattered. So Apple engineers are too young to remember the goal of “Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.”?
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So for those people who want to get rid of “Hack-a-Shaq” because it’s not entertaining to watch, how do they feel about the intentional walk? Although if we really want to talk about breaking up the pace of games, how about TV time outs?
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Corporate logic, grocery store division. A local Safeway is under-performing expectations so has few cashiers available at any given time. One reason people I know don’t go to the store – the check-out lines are too long.
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Say it ain’t so. Suzanne Crough, 52, aka Tracy Partridge has passed away. It’s bad enough when the people you grew up watching on T.V. die. It’s worse when they are younger than you are.
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Google’s head of human resources says the company’s oldest employee is “over 80.” Ah, he must be the one who helped design the driver-less car seen around campus with its left blinker on.
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I was semi-joking about the DH and the SF Giants’ Madison Bumgarner, who likes to hit, yesterday. Today Madbum backs me up – and he’s serious. “I guarantee you. Some of the things you’re seeing in the American League wouldn’t happen if pitchers had to hit. They’d be a whole lot more polite.”
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Bernie Sanders is running for President. And now Jon Stewart might be REALLY reconsidering retirement. #Letthefunbegin!
Budweiser says it is removing a new slogan label on Bud Light that says “The perfect beer for removing ‘no’ from your vocabulary for the night.” Okay, the real question here is not who decided to remove the slogan, but who was idiotic enough to approve it in the first place? #justsayno
The Rockets won their first playoff series since 2009. The Astros are in first place. Are we sure we’re not seeing signs of the apocalypse? #Houstonwehaveaproblem?
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#Spurs win a close one at 1am #SanAntonio time. At that time of night most men their players’ age only get up to use the toilet. #SAvsLA
From Bill Littlejohn: “The NFL is giving up its tax-exempt status.I supposed with all of the scandals coming to light, it can no later be classified as a religion”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #cantfixstupid, Apple Watch jokes, Baltimore jokes, Budweiser jokes, Janice Hough, Ray Lewis jokes, Spurs jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 23, 2015
Impressive win by the Spurs tonight in OT against the Clippers in Los Angeles. Heck, impressive with the game ending after 10pm PT, midnight CT, that most of the team was up that much past their bedtimes.
Gregg Popovich used the “Hack a Jordan” strategy tonight in the win, putting DeAndre Jordan at the line repeatedly. Ugly, yes. Fun to watch, no, fun for the Clippers, no. But there IS a solution, for Jordan and others – learn to shoot a bleeping free throw.
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The Oklahoma City Thunder fired Scott Brooks today, after he had coached the team for seven years. Guess Brooks didn’t do a good enough job of making sure Durant and Westbrook didn’t get hurt?
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Jameis Winston now says he didn’t steal the crab legs, but they were given to him by a Publix employee. as was a cake the week before. Uh, illegal benefits? Vacate the Seminoles wins! Or at the very least the NCAA should put USC on probation again.
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Your tax dollars at work. Today the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals reversed Barry Bonds’ obstruction of justice conviction . Saying his vague grand jury answer was “not material to the government’s investigation into steroids distribution.” But hey, this decision itself can be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court. More tax dollars!
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Greg Hardy was suspended for 10 games by the NFL after he was found guilty of assaulting and threatening to kill a former girlfriend. If he’d actually killed her would the Cowboys’ new DE have been given 12 games?
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Really, former Chicago Bears kicker Jay Feely said Tim Tebow is the worst QB he has even seen in his NFL career? With all due respect, Tebow might not have even been the worst QB Feely saw on the Bears.
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A Carnival Cruise ship made it to Sydney Harbor 24 hours late after suffering some damage from 40-foot waves during a major storm. No reported injuries. But stand by anyway for the CNN mini-series.
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Revenge for the 21st century:. When a Japanese woman discovered her boyfriend was cheating on her, she put his iMac, iPhone, iPad and accessories into the bath tub. And then sent him a picture. Even in drought-stricken California most women would say that’s a fine use of water.
(Andy D. says, “The waterproof Android phones need this as their new commercial!”)
Mitt Romney’s son Josh has said, for now, that he won’t run for the Senate in 2016, but thinks he will run for office some day in the future. Isn’t it nice to know that we live in a meritocracy that isn’t led by family dynasties?
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During a question and answer session at the White House today for “Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work Day, a little girl asked Michelle Obama how old she was, and when Michelle responded, “51,” the girl made a funny face, and said “You look too young.” Then repeated “You’re too young for a 51 year old!”
Wonder if the House hearing this, immediately called for a special investigation.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cowboys jokes, cruise jokes, Hardy jokes, Jameis jokes, Janice Hough, Popovich jokes, Spurs jokes, Tebow jokes
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April 14, 2015
The San Antonio Spurs are playing so well down the stretch, the NBA may end up classifying Ensure as a PED.
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Wow. Just wow. That mother who dangled her 2 year-old over a cheetah enclosure, and then accidentally dropped him has been placed on leave from her job. Which is, or rather was – assistant director of a Columbus, Ohio “Kindercare” childcare center. #cantfixstupid #whythereisnosatire #NottheOnion
Will someone please tell the #SFGiants that the sign on the ATT Park grass is not spelled Opening Weak. #OpeningWeek
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The #SFGiants are scoring like folks at an #AARP convention with a Viagra shortage.
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The Chicago Cubs are offering a new “Mac and Cheetos” hot dog For all those fans who have decided maybe it’s not worth living to wait until next year.
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Considering all the injuries this year so far #SFGiants home opener could have been worse. #Madbum could have fallen off the horse.
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Billy Joel, 65, and his 33 year old girlfriend are apparently expecting a baby daughter. Stand by for a change from “Uptown Girl” to “Up-all-night Girl.” “And when she wakes up And makes up her mind…..”
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Some educators in Atlanta are going to prison over illegally inflating test scores for students from struggling schools. Idiots. If only they had just done it for athletes….
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Bus to hell time. Can they transfer Lawrence Phillips to the same prison as Jerry Sandusky?
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Carly Fiorina said in an interview on “Morning Joe” that Hillary Clinton, while an “inspiration to women”, doesn’t have a record of “accomplishments.” I guess Carly figures she knows accomplishment. How many women have gotten their companies to pay them $20 million to leave?
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The top Republican and Democrat on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee said they have reached a bipartisan agreement on legislation that would allow Congress to review a final nuclear deal with Iran. What? Must be a joke. This sounds too rational
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The San Antonio Express-News reports that Joan Cheever, a chef who has been feeding the city’s homeless for the past decade, was cited last night by police with a $2,000 ticket for serving food without a permit. She plans to argue in court that under the 1999 Texas Religious Freedom Restoration Act, she has a right to serve food to the homeless because she considers it a free exercise of her religion.
Okay, where are the defenders of Indiana and Religious Freedom on this one??!!
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If President Obama wants to do something with that “sponsor of terrorism” label he took off Cuba a lot of women would have no problem if he put it on Saudi Arabia.
Jeremy Lin on the Lakers “I do think we’re headed in the right direction.” Well, if the goal is a lottery pick, yes indeed
The makers of “Kind” bars have been warned by the FDA because “the products do not meet the requirements” to say the bars are a “good source of fiber” with “low sodium” and “no trans fat.” Well, as if anyone expected to find wood chips in “cottage” cheese.
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Here we go again. John Boehner today said Obama should re-engage U.S. combat troops in Iraq to fight ISIS. Is the Speaker volunteering to go over and lead them?
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Hint to drivers: When a sign under a stop sign says “Cross traffic does not stop” it refers to the street your street is crossing. All cars. Not a comment on cross i.e. angry drivers #cantfixstupid #nearmiss #didnthavetimetobeawitnesss
From Marc Ragovin: “Upon kicking off his presidential run, Marco Rubio said “Yesterday is over, and we are never going back.” He then unveiled a five minute commercial featuring him and a superimposed Ronald Reagan.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #cantfixstupidid, Billy joel jokes, Boehner jokes, Carly Fiorina jokes, Cubs jokes, Indiana jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, Spurs jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
Left Coast Sports Babe 