Posted tagged ‘Tebow jokes’

Schooled?

September 13, 2019

So Tim Tebow thinks college athletes shouldn’t be paid because “I didn’t make a dollar from it and nor did I want to because I knew going into college what it was all about.”
Pretty rich coming from a kid whose parents could not only afford to home-school him even though he played football at a local Christian Academy but also MOVED (while still home-schooling him) so he was in the district for a public high school who would let him play QB.

University of Alabama is using an app to track students when they arrive and leave home football games. The app will give them 100 points for showing up, and 250 more points for staying through the 4th quarter. Students can then use points  for priority access to future games…  Gosh if only there were only such an an app to track football players going to class?

 

Didn’t we all have Shaun Anderson as the SF Giants potential closer of the future?

(For what it’s worth, Buster Posey was a closer at Florida State.)

After Beto O’Rourke said yes, he would go after assault weapons, GOP Texas state legislator Briscoe Cain tweeted out
“My AR is ready for you Robert Francis,”
At times like this I really miss Molly Ivins.

 

Btw, not only was Felicity Hoffman’s 14-day sentence an example of White Privilege but also does anyone really think her husband William Macy had no idea what was going on?

RIP Eddie Money…. Will he show up at the pearly gates with an extra ticket to Paradise?

 

Trump complains LED light bulbs make him “look orange.”
So no wonder Donald is against solar energy. The sun makes him look orange too.

 

 

Trump is coming to Northern California for an expensive fundraiser in Atherton.
Now, here’s a question, GOP gets so upset if anyone releases names of attendees of this kind of thing – shouldn’t anyone donating big $$$ to a President they clearly admire be proud to share that publicly?

(and putting my money where my mouth is, while I am not a big donor, in the last Presidential elections I have donated to Howard Dean,  Barack Obama, and in these primaries Cory Booker and Amy Klobuchar.   It’s public record, but have nothing to hide.)

Don’t wait until next year.

September 29, 2016

In New York tonight before the game with the Red Sox the Yankees announced that they “would like to put the rivalry aside for a few minutes and honor David Ortiz.”   A nice gesture, even if what they are really honoring is Big Papi’s decision to retire.

Forget Tim Tebow, the guy who may have a real future in baseball is John Kilichowski. a minor league pitcher from Vanderbilt who gave up Tebow’s first AB home run – this was his tweet: “I thought we agreed you were taking first pitch @TimTebow”

Knott’s Berry Farm and California’s Great America pulled the plug on their new FearVR experience. The attraction had people wear virtual reality googles that made them feel like they were in a mental hospital along with a dangerous fellow patient.
The real question – who thought this was a good idea???

Alabama senior LB Tim Williams, a top draft prospect who has started every game, was arrested this morning for allegedly carrying a pistol without a permit. What a shame this didn’t happen last week, so Nick Saban could have suspended Williams for the first half of the Kent State game.

USA Today has never endorsed a candidate for President in their history. Today they wrote an editorial “Don’t vote for Trump.”  So let’s see, the Donald will be revoking their press credentials for his events in 3.2.1….

 

 

So is #GaryJohnson trying to prove he’s the reincarnation of Admiral Stockdale running for President?

At the University of Missouri, the Delta Upsilon frat has been suspended after individuals inside their house were allegedly shouting out the windows at members of the Legion of Black Collegians” with taunts, obscenities and racial slurs.
Once again, in the U.S. people are free to think bigoted thoughts, but how could they be so clueless these days to think publicizing it was a good idea. #educationmightfixsomeprejudices but #cantfixstupid

 

Clearly election is over w/ news that Bill & Hillary after they left the White House spent money to set up illegal business in #Cuba. Oh wait, never mind.

Sad story from New Jersey with the train crash. Officials say “after an initial evaluation of the scene, it appears that the event may have been accidental and not related to terrorism.”
Reminding us again, that as much as we fear terrorists sometimes, our real risks are more often mundane things like infrastructure failure and human error.

Hillary Clinton tweeted out a sympathy message to those affected by the New Jersey train crash this morning, Donald Trump followed about an hour later. Was that how long it took for him to decide it wasn’t terrorism

Last night in Iowa, Donald Trump “Raise your hand if you’re not a Christian conservative. I want to see this, right? Oh there’s a a couple people, that’s all right. I think we’ll keep them, right? Should we keep them in the room, yes? I think so.”
New hashtag #ifyouarenotscaredyouarenotpayingattention

Rumors are that #DonaldTrump might ask #ChrisChristie to help him before the 2nd debate. So are there bridges to be closed in St. Louis?

 

Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway complained to Megyn Kelly that Hillary Clinton was targeting Trump with negative ads and using comments he made about women ‘25 years ago’.
But of course it’s perfectly acceptable for Trump to talk about Bill Clinton’s behavior with women 25-35 years ago.

 

Alex Kaseberg, after New Englands QB Tom Brady was spotted sunbathing nude in Italy with Giselle while serving his Deflategate suspension: “In a related story, players all over the league began deflating footballs.”

 

 

From T.C.  “The Donald says that he won the debate on Monday night. That coincides with the Falcons and Saints claiming that “Defense” was the difference on their football game.”

Playing the black – or red -hole?

August 26, 2016

The Oakland Raiders have filed to trademark the name “Las Vegas Raiders.” If they move will the team’s new motto be “Against all odds?”

Now that the Olympics is over, NBC’s next big televised event is the first Presidential debate on September 26. Wonder if the network will show it some time before the actual election?

 

Anyone who thinks baseball is boring wasn’t watching Thursday night’s Giants Dodgers game and Matt Moore’s near no-hitter.

=

 

Former MLB pitcher David Aardsma said Tim Tebow impressed him in practice sessions, and made a lot of progress with his hitting and adjusments: “It actually really pissed me off.”
Of course, Tebow still may not be anywhere close to a major league hitter. Which means these days he’d fit right in on the SF Giants.

 

Silver lining to the #SFGIants recent free fall? #Dodgers can no longer block any trades they make on the waiver wire.

Ryan Lochte has a new sponsorship deal with Pine Brothers for throat lozenges – “Forgiving on your throat.”
What about Depends “When you gotta go…”

Martin Shkreli is speaking out on behalf of Mylan, the company that raised EpiPens prices by over 500%, saying “Can’t someone succeed and not be shamed anymore?” #MakeAmericaIrateAgain

 

All flights in and out of Ft. Lauderdale and Miami were halted today due to a power outrage at the Miami Terminal Radar Approach Control center. Standby for airlines instituting a new “back up battery fee.”

A 59 year old woman who died falling from a Delaware zip line platform had apparently “disconnected herself from the safety system.” Sad, and her adult daughter posted a nice tribute online. But having a daughter means alas the woman was too late for a true Darwin award.

It took a last minute scramble to get Donald Trump on the ballot in Minnesota as the party hadn’t submitted the required names of electors who officially cast the state’s votes. Even in his SNL days, Al Franken couldn’t make this “stuff” up.

After a new ad was released with KKK images, a Trump spokesman said “Hillary Clinton and her campaign went to a disgusting new low today as they released a video tying the Trump Campaign with horrific racial images.”
Right, but videos demonizing refugees and immigrants, those are all just part of how we make America great again. #sarcasm

 

Donald Trump said tonight his great wall at the Mexican border will be 35-45 feet tall, it could be higher. The Great Wall of China, btw, averages 26 feet tall. Wonder how much of Trump’s wall height will be his name in neon?

Trump tweet. “Hillary Clinton’s short speech is pandering to the worst instincts in our society. She should be ashamed of herself!”
Guess he didn’t have enough characters also to tweet “That’s MY job.”

Bill Littlejohn on the Raiders potential move – “Two Las Vegas sites are preferred for NFL stadiums—but first, infared cameras had to make sure there weren’t any bodies buried in them.”

Brother can you spare a ballot?

August 23, 2016

boulder

American ingenuity in Boulder.

Apparently 20 MLB teams will watch #TimTebow‘s workouts next week. Do they really believe he can play, or hoping to get God on their side?

 

Wonder if #SFGiants are attending Tim Tebow workouts? Right about now their offense could use a few prayers.

 

Josh Norman was asked if he was the best cornerback in the NFL. He responded “I am the best cornerback on earth.”
No reaction from Seattle. is Richard Sherman taking a vacation from social media or something?

Stanford has a new policy that forbids undergraduate students from drinking hard alcohol – more than 40 proof – at on-campus parties. Great, even more incentive for students to get drunk BEFORE going to a party..

(and uh, don’t they have a policy forbidding rape too?)

Tesla has a new battery pack that will allow their cars to go zero to 60 in 2.5 seconds, about the speed of a Ferrari $1 million plus supercar. And a car with this “Ludicrous” (that’s what they are naming it) mode, will cost for only $135,000.
Well, it’s nice to know that millionaires will be able to keep up with billionaires.

As a marketing promotion, KFC has been giving away 3,000 bottles of sunscreen that smell like fried chicken. Two words: “Shark bait.”

 

A Univ. of Pittsburgh student was rescued this morning, several hours after at about 2 a.m. he tried to jump from one roof to another to impress a woman. He fell, becoming trapped between two buildings.
This is worrisome. If they end up a couple the two are young enough to breed. #DarwinAward #misseditbythatmuch

Three GOP legislators from Louisiana asked for and got federal disaster relief from President Obama . They all had voted against funding after Hurricane Sandy. “I am shocked,” said nobody.

So is this really just about the Donald demonstrating he has business sense? A report in the Huffington Post says that after Trump started accepting donor funds, he increased this campaign rent from $35,458 in March to $169,758 in July.

Trump had a big public rally tonight in Austin. A free big rally in Texas? That would be like Hillary taking time now for free rallies in California.

Melania Trump’s lawyer says she is threatening to sue the UK Daily Mail, along with U.S. based Politico and at least eight other news outlets for defamation. Yeah, she may have been born in Slovenia, but she’s definitely become a Trump alright..

 

Donald Trump tonight on immigration “”I had a great meeting with great people, great Hispanic leaders, and there could certainly be a softening because we’re not looking to hurt people. We want people — we have some great people in this country. We have some great, great people in this country but we’re going to follow the laws of this country and what people don’t realize — we have very, very strong laws.”
Even Sarah Palin is going “huh?”

A nice story for a change. Admittedly, I’ve been lukewarm on Hillary Clinton but while in Ohio decided to wear a Hillary button because it’s a close state, and IMHO the alternative is worse, much worse. But an older woman at a museum shop commented that she LOVED my button, and confided “I have blue nail polish on for her because that’s as political as I can be at work.”
I offered her my button, to wear after work, and she was just thrilled. Literally. “Are you sure, I’m so excited for her, thank you so much.”
Made me smile actually to see someone really happy about this election.
(comedy writers don’t count.)

Not even plausibly live?

August 9, 2016

Has @NBC figured out w/ women’s gymnastics only people who aren’t online enough to know results will be asleep by time show airs? ‪#‎Rio2016‬

Wonder which will come first, the NBC tape-delayed coverage of women’s gymnastics, or the Chinese women gymnasts hitting puberty?

Apparently there are signs at the Rio Oympics saying you cannot fish in the toilets. Organizers were worried about that possibility why? – Because it’s the cleanest water in town?

Tim Tebow has apparently been training and now hopes to pursue a career in professional baseball.Tebow hasn’t played the sport since high school so it’s probably crazy to think he could get to a major league level at this point. Though maybe Tim has a chance to catch on with the Atlanta Braves.

 

#‎TimTebow‬ is now hoping to play pro baseball, although he hasn’t played since high school. Even God is thinking Tim doesn’t have a prayer.

 

#‎SFGiants‬ manager ‪#‎BruceBochy‬ was out of the hospital and back on the bench today. Unfortunately the Giants offense is back on life support.

After 7 hits last night, the Giants’ ‪#‎BrandonCrawford‬ went 0-4 today, and struck out on his first at-bat on 3 pitches. Hope his bat didn’t have all the hits taken out of it

A man who was afraid his girlfriend would reunite with her ex called in a fake bomb threat last week before her flight to the Caribbean. He was released on bail, and apparently the couple is back together. These two just might be stupid enough to deserve each other.

In Florida, two wild tortoises were found with their shells completely painted in bright colors, and the state Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission had to issue a warning “While to you it may seem harmless, painting the shells of turtles and tortoises can severely compromise their health….”
If only the tortoises were armed. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Martin Shkreli claims he has diagnosed Hillary Clinton with Parkinson’s Disease, Well, and millions of Americans have diagnosed Shkreli with antisocial personality disorder, or in the vernacular, being a sociopath.

 

Forget ‪#‎ManyAreSaying‬. What Donald Trump really needs is to start using “Everybody’s talking”:
“Everybody’s talking at me
I don’t hear a word they’re saying
Only the echoes of my mind”

Trump is dismissing a letter written by 50 GOP national security experts, who worked for presidents from Nixon to W. which said “None of us will vote for Donald Trump.:
The Donald said the letter was “politically motivated” and that the experts “deserve the blame for making the world such a dangerous place.” Wait a minute, I thought that was Hillary and Obama’s fault?

Donald Trump at a rally today, “Hillary wants to abolish the 2nd amendment. ..If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks — although the 2nd Amendment people, maybe there is.”
If this guy were anything other than the Presidential nominee of a major political party the Secret Service would have made sure he was locked up a long time ago.

 

Possible @RealDonaldTrump is tired of this president thing; just trying to see how outrageous he can be before he is forced out of race?

Okay, I am generally liberal and proud of it. But a Muslim flight attendant is suing ExpressJet, a commuter airline that works with United Airlines and others, saying they suspended her for refusing to serve alcohol. Uh, so what’s next, she will apply for a job in a bar and then sue them too?

Missed connections?

September 8, 2015

(belated post from last week that somehow didn’t post.)

A New Jersey man who butt-dialed 911 and let police listen in on his plans has been indicted on burglary charges. Once again proving that smart phones are no match for stupid people

Hillary Clinton accused Donald Trump of ‘innuendo, conspiracy theories and defaming people’ And then Trump accused Hillary of hacking to find his secret mission statement.

The lawyer for Kim Davis is now comparing the Kentucky clerk to Martin Luther King, Jr. and his letter from the Birmingham jail. Uh, except MLK wasn’t about getting more civil rights by denying other people their rights.

While there have been no major college football upsets in the first weekend, (so far,) it’s alas true for of most of these lightly ranked teams with playoff aspirations that their opening loss will make them “one and done.”

Some economists believe that this year’s El Niño might cause coffee prices to rise by up to 107 percent. To help consumers, Starbucks is considering a layaway plan.

Tim Tebow said after the Eagles’ last preseason game “I’m not going to worry about what I can’t control.” Like most of his passes?

Looks like ‪#‎TimTebow‬ has made the Eagles roster. So maybe God really is a Tebow fan. Either that or He/She really loves comedy writers.

Donald Trump said that Jeb Bush “should lead by speaking English while in the United States.” And Jeb’s thinking – “Uh, it was never necessary for my brother?”

An Oregon judge is apparently being investigated by a judicial fitness commission for refusing to perform same-sex marriages on religious grounds. Hmm, since Oregon just legalized marijuana, maybe they should consider simply trying to relax the judge.

Tom Brady, on the judge’s decision to overturn his suspension, said that while he is happy to be playing ” II am sorry our league had to endure this. I don’t think it has been good for our sport — to a large degree, we have all lost.”

Right, so Brady will just have to console himself with his Super Bowl rings, long-term multi-million dollar contract and super model wife. ‪#‎wehavealllostmyass‬

ESPN has announced Jessica Mendoza will be replacing Curt Schilling on Sunday Night Baseball for the last weeks of the MLB season. Not actually sure how I feel about this from a free-speech perspective. Never watched Schilling for his politics.

But, for ESPN it’s all about the $$$$. And clearly Mendoza, who is extremely knowledgeable, has been well-received enough that despite misogyny in the sports world and with some sports fans, the network thinks having her on is good for ratings. ‪#‎thetimestheyareachangin‬ ‪#‎yougogirl‬

From Bill Littlejohn:    “Waze Navigation has signed Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski to be the voice of a GPS app: ‘Customers report, however, that they always seem to end up at a bar or a hospital.’”

All fired up.

September 6, 2015

SF Giants bring Billy Joel to A T and T.   At least it means this September the park saw some big hits.

joel

Joel went through a lot of his biggest hits. But not, “Only the Good Die Young.”  Maybe they aren’t lyrics you think about with a new born daughter.

Kim Kardashian now has 45 million Instagram followers. “Beam me up Scotty, there’s no intelligent life on this planet.””

BYU beat Nebraska on a last-second Hail Mary. Wait though, at Brigham Young shouldn’t it be a “Hail Joseph” or something?

Cal 73. Grambling State 14. And at Grambling State the athletic director’s phone is ringing off the hook with requests for games with SEC teams.

Wow. So the Eagles DID cut Tim Tebow, electing to keep just two quarterbacks – Sam Bradford and Mark Sanchez. So over-under on how many weeks into the season it takes Philly fans to start screaming for Tebow?.

Tim Tebow has been told once again he is not an NFL quarterback. Although as we will see, the same is true of more than a few quarterbacks who are on NFL rosters.

Tom Brady Facebook post on Deflategate “I am sorry our league had to endure this.” Uh, he thinks it’s over?

Over 200 rallied in front of the jail where Kim Davis is being held, demanding the clerk be freed, and talking about obeying God and Jesus and following their consciences etc. Uh, if these folks really have nothing better to do with their time, aren’t there poor families in the state in need of Christian help and charity.

Stanford certainly didn’t live up to their pre-season billing against Northwestern.  Normally with this level of under performance compared to expectations in Chicago, the Cubs are involved.

Washington has announced that Cousins and not RGIII will be their starter. Sort of like the Titanic announcing a new captain taking over after hitting the iceberg?

Ted Cruz: “Those who are persecuting Kim Davis believe that Christians should not serve in public office. Or if Christians do serve in pubic office, they must disregard their religious faith — or be sent to jail.”

Uh, okay, since it’s (still) a free country, shall we substitute “Jewish,” “Buddhist,” “Hindu,” “Muslim” for “Christian” and then does Cruz think the same rules apply?

“DH, we don’t need no stinkin’ DH”

August 16, 2015

Biggest problem right now for SF Giants manager with Madison Bumgarner?  Getting his ace left hander to shut up about possibly pinch hitting.

Yeah, so  Zack Greinke‬ pitched 7 innings of 1 run baseball w/ home run. Madison Bumgarner‬ just called & raised him. Shutout, home run & RBI double.

So Madison Bumgarner’s worst outing of the year was in Washington, D.C., July 4, when he allowed six runs in five innings against the Nats. Think Madbum was just a bit p*ssed off when he took the mound today?

Madison Bumgarner has four home runs for the year. And in the SF Giants broadcast booth Duane Kuiper is trying not to cry.

(for non baseball fans. Kuiper had a 12 year career in MLB – one home run. Total.)

Costumed characters hustling for tips in Times Square have become a New York tradition. The newest trend, near-naked women wearing only thongs and red, white and blue body paint. Wonder how many fathers are volunteering to do reconnaissance missions to make sure the area hasn’t become too inappropriate for children

Oscar Pistorius will be released from jail this week after serving 10 months for killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Even Los Angeles juries are thinking he got off easy.

Tim Tebow is back. But don’t laugh. At this point he’s still a more realistic potential NFL quarterback than Donald Trump is a realistic potential President.

So Trump is going to pay for a border wall by taxing all Mexican visitors to the U.S.? And what exactly is he going to do with all those crazies from Canada, eh?

Freshman QB Ricky Town. who had verbally committed to Alabama but decided to go to USC after the Trojans hired Steve Sarkisian, is transferring to another school. Apparently ,while highly touted, Town didn’t turn out to be the best freshman QB in spring camp.

So Karma is either a Crimson Tide fan, or just in mean bitch mode.

The Cubs lost today. But before the game Chicago manager Joe Maddon said he wasn’t changing his socks during the team’s 9 game win streak. Maybe the superstition helped. But at least it probably assured Maddon had a row to himself on the team plane

How often does a golfer go -17 for a major tournament and end up in 2nd place? ‪#‎JordanSpieth‬ ‪#‎JasonDay‬ ‪#‎PGA‬

Donald Trump said that illegal immigrants in this country “have to go.” Wait…. does Trump have a visa for that furry thing that lives on his head?

Brewers manager Craig Counsell and players told a Milwaukee paper that if now openly gay David Denson, now playing for the team’s rookie league, makes it to the big leagues, he will be welcome.

Bringing to mind the great quote from Willie Mays, who when asked a few years ago if a gay player would be welcome in a major league clubhouse, simply responded “Can he hit?”

San Diego gave QB Philip Rivers a $65 million guaranteed contract. The Chargers are throwing money around like they’re a Los Angeles team already.

Mike Huckabee says he supports Paraguay’s decision to deny a 10 year old rape victim an abortion. “Let’s not compound a tragedy by taking yet another life.” And of course that poor girl should have government assistance and health care including mental health care so her own life isn’t ruined…. Oh wait, government dependency should end at birth.
I believe the British have the correct term here – “f*ckwit.”

From T.C  “The Guinness Book of World Records is reporting that the world’s oldest cat is age 26, named Corduroy and lives in Sisters, Oregon. Skeptics call BS, and say it’s all just a ploy to get a dentist out of hiding.”

And how many hours after the early bird special?

April 23, 2015

Impressive win by the Spurs tonight in OT against the Clippers in Los Angeles. Heck, impressive with the game ending after 10pm PT, midnight CT, that most of the team was up that much past their bedtimes.

Gregg Popovich used the “Hack a Jordan” strategy tonight in the win,  putting DeAndre Jordan at the line repeatedly.  Ugly, yes.  Fun to watch, no, fun for the Clippers, no. But there IS a solution, for Jordan and others – learn to shoot a bleeping free throw.

The Oklahoma City Thunder fired Scott Brooks today, after he had coached the team for seven years. Guess Brooks didn’t do a good enough job of making sure Durant and Westbrook didn’t get hurt?

Jameis Winston now says he didn’t steal the crab legs, but they were given to him by a Publix employee. as was a cake the week before. Uh, illegal benefits? Vacate the Seminoles wins! Or at the very least the NCAA should put USC on probation again.

Your tax dollars at work. Today the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals reversed Barry Bonds’ obstruction of justice conviction . Saying his vague grand jury answer was “not material to the government’s investigation into steroids distribution.” But hey, this decision itself can be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court. More tax dollars!

Greg Hardy was suspended for 10 games by the NFL after he was found guilty of assaulting and threatening to kill a former girlfriend. If he’d actually killed her would the Cowboys’ new DE have been given 12 games?

Really, former Chicago Bears kicker Jay Feely said Tim Tebow is the worst QB he has even seen in his NFL career? With all due respect, Tebow might not have even been the worst QB Feely saw on the Bears.

A Carnival Cruise ship made it to Sydney Harbor 24 hours late after suffering some damage from 40-foot waves during a major storm. No reported injuries. But stand by anyway for the CNN mini-series.

Revenge for the 21st century:. When a Japanese woman discovered her boyfriend was cheating on her, she put his iMac, iPhone, iPad and accessories into the bath tub. And then sent him a picture. Even in drought-stricken California most women would say that’s a fine use of water.

(Andy D. says,  “The waterproof Android phones need this as their new commercial!”)

 

Mitt Romney’s son Josh has said, for now, that he won’t run for the Senate in 2016, but thinks he will run for office some day in the future. Isn’t it nice to know that we live in a meritocracy that isn’t led by family dynasties?

During a question and answer session at the White House today for “Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work Day, a little girl asked Michelle Obama how old she was, and when Michelle responded, “51,” the girl made a funny face, and said “You look too young.” Then repeated “You’re too young for a 51 year old!”

Wonder if the House hearing this, immediately called for a special investigation.

Roll the credits

April 21, 2015

Okay, who says I never say anything nice about Yasiel Puig?. He just applauded an amazing outfield catch by Justin Maxwell. Of a ball Puig himself had hit. Don’t get used to this,  LA friends.  ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎Dodgers‬

 

‪#‎Whythereisnosatire‬. Actual comment on a Tripadvisor hotel review -“The beach was too sandy.”

So apparently a number of wealthy people in California are ignoring requests and warnings of fines to conserve during the drought, and are keeping their lawns lush and green. Fine then, if money is no object maybe we should just pass a temporary law requiring them to use bottled water.

Another thought to deal with wealthy California water wasters who have no intention of giving up their lush lawns: Vigilante herds of cows. ‪#‎grassfedbeef‬

#‎NFLschedule‬ for 2015 out at 5pm PT. And presumably at 501p ‪#‎Raiders‬ fans announced they have been shafted.

In Naples, a 49 year old grandmother was arrested for DUI after she rear-ended another car in her BMW, with her 10 year old grandson in the car, while wearing only sandals and a bikini. Back on your game, Florida.

ESPN has a factoid today: When Tim Tebow was at Florida and took the snap within 2 yards of the goal like, the Gators scored 59% of the time, while the SEC as a whole converted 53%. Then in the pros he scored on 80% of such opportunities, compared to under 50% for the rest of the NFL.. Hmm, maybe the coach who SHOULD have signed Tim as a backup QB was Pete Carroll.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow has finally legally filed for divorce from Chris Martin. So guess what guys, she’s single.

Queen Elizabeth II just celebrated her 89th birthday today. It’s all part of her grand plan to live forever. Or at least outlive Charles and Camilla. ‪#‎GodsavetheQueen

What’s more amazing, that Cincinnati Reds manager Bryan Price reportedly dropped the F-bomb 77 times in a rant against the media, or that someone in the media took the time to count the F-bombs?

 

A 70 year old woman was arrested at JFK for trying to smuggle 4 lbs of cocaine in her panties. So how would you now like to be the customs officer in charge now trying to figure out whether or not to search possible Depends wearers?

Charles Koch, talking about the Presidential election said that “he and his brother are “only” planning to spend about $300 million “directly” on electoral politics in 2016, including federal and state elections. Well, gosh, pocket change. So why should we worry about money in politics?

A new study involving over 95,000 children found no link between the MMR vaccine and autism. Alas, a lot of the people affected will put the results down to commie-pinko stuff like numbers. #cantfixstupid

Jessa Duggar Seewald, one of the “19 Kids and Counting” herd, has announced she is expecting a baby on her first wedding anniversary. What took so long?

Josh Gordon has admitted his season long suspension, following probation, was from drinking alcohol on the Browns’ private plane in January. And CB Joe Haden said “Nobody was aware that he couldn’t drink.” Uh, except Gordon.

 

From Alex Kaseberg  “A German study claims watching too much Internet porn can cause short-term memory loss. I don’t believe it, besides, what do those Swedes know anyway?”

Food for thought

April 20, 2015

Apparently in Kansas City some fans are complaining because the hot dogs on “$1 Hot Dog Night” were not exactly top quality. These are probably the same folks who complain about day-old sushi.

Kraft Foods says they are getting rid of artificial preservatives and synthetic colors in their “Original Macaroni and Cheese” starting in January 2016. Have to wonder, without the day-glo orange color, how many kids will stop eating the stuff?

Tim Tebow has formally signed a one-year deal with the Philadelphia Eagles. Let’s hope Tim didn’t take that “City of Brotherly Love” nickname too seriously.

Pelicans coach Monty Williams said that the Warriors crowd noise during game one was “a little out of hand.” Did he think Golden State fans would hear this and be quieter tonight. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

The #1 NFL player as far as merchandise sales last year was Seahawks QB Russell Wilson. Wonder how many fans bought stuff to pass on?

(My friend Arne says “there was a run on his jerseys…”)

 

Chris Christie is against legalized marijuana and says “we have an enormous addiction problem in this country.” So is the New Jersey Governor proposing the equivalent of lap-bands for pot smokers?

In Parma, Missouri, five out of a total of six cops resigned after the town elected a black woman mayor. So if Hillary gets elected will they turn in their citizenship?

Former N.J. Gov and CEO of bankrupt MF Global Jon Corzine is apparently considering starting his own hedge fund. Will the firm’s logo be a fox guarding a hen coop?

President Obama and his family took an unscheduled hike in Virginia’s Great Falls Park yesterday. Let’s see, no golf included, no Air Force One or helicopter needed…. maybe critics will go after him for bringing too much attention to the park and thus contributing to future overcrowding? ‪#‎cantwin‬

SF 49ers right guard Alex Boone apparently told HBO’s “Real Sports” about former coach Jim Harbaugh ” “This guy might be clinically insane.” Just wondering, what percentage of NFL coaches does Boone think aren’t?

A recent CNN-ORC shows no clear favorite for the Republican presidential nomination. Though since the primaries are about a year away have to wonder how many Americans could name the options. ‪#‎toomanyridersintheclowncar‬

 

The SF Chronicle reports that Cal wide receivers coach and recruiting coordinator Pierre Ingram was arrested last week during a prostitution sting for allegedly soliciting an officer. Yet another ill-advised and incomplete pass for the Bears?

 

 

Jon Stewart announced that his final episode of “The Daily Show” will be August 6. Wonder how many prospective Presidential candidates have now decided to announce they are running on August 7.

These are the daze?

April 20, 2015

Say what?   The NY Post reports that NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio’s hopes that a “draft de Blasio’’ movement will result in his beating Hillary in the primaries like “George McGovern successfully challenged the initially front-running establishment candidate, Edmund Muskie, more than 40 years ago”  And we all know how well that worked out for the Democrats.

 

 

Today is  4-20. Let’s hope protesters in favor of marijuana legalization remember to show up before 4-21.

 

Jon Stewart told the UK Guardian that he is leaving The Daily Show because he was becoming increasing depressed by US politics and cable news. Which alas is how many Americans feel about coping with current events without him.

Both the Oakland and Kansas City benches emptied for the third straight day during today’s game and five Royals were ejected after Kelvin Herrera threw a 100 mph fastball behind Brett Lawrie. Almost a shame the two teams don’t meet again until late June. – some say baseball doesn’t get high TV ratings because it’s not a contact sport.

Tim Tebow is joining the Philadelphia Eagles. Meaning it will be a close competition between him, Matt Barkley and Mark Sanchez for the QB most likely to have Philly fans scream “Jesus Christ.”

 

Marco Rubio today “I also don’t believe that your sexual preferences are a choice for the vast and enormous majority of people. In fact, the bottom line is I believe sexual preference is something that people are born with.”

Is the Florida Senator saying he has conceded the bat sh*t crazy vote?

Donald Trump apparently retweeted (then deleted) a tweet saying “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband, what makes her think she can satisfy America. Thinking if Donald Trump can’t make TWO marriages work what makes him think he can deal with tough international relations.

A new book says that Ronald Reagan believed in extra-terrestrial life and in 1985 told Mikhail Gorbachev at a peace summit that “he was sure the two superpowers would co-operate if Earth was threatened by alien invasion.” Don’t laugh too fast… alien invasion might explain some of the candidates we have running for President.

(My friend Suzanne G. says I have now disrespected aliens.)

A British study found that drivers who were dehydrated (drinking 25 ml -less than an ounce of water) an hour, made as many mistakes as drivers who were over the DUI limit. Of course, imagine that drivers who drink a LOT of water are more likely to speed to get to a restroom.

Texas Rangers GM Jon Daniels says he’d like to give Russell Wilson a shot but . “Obviously, he’s got a pretty good thing going on with the Seahawks, and we’re not going to get in the way of that.” Translation, Wilson’s a decent baseball player but he’s not THAT good.

(Alex B. says “Wilson was going to give baseball a go, but Pete Carroll told him to pass.”

Apparently the Lily Pulitzer collection for Target caused a shopping frenzy Sunday morning online and at Target stores. And if you have any idea what that means you probably don’t have a Y chromosome.

 

Bad seeds?

March 16, 2015

The “Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.” award for the week goes to Yale. The University is upset because they feel they were snubbed for the NIT Tournament…..

Most bracket challenges don’t close until Wednesday night. After Tuesday and Wednesday’s “First Four games.”  What a downer for four of the eight play-in teams. Not only will they not be Cinderellas, they won’t even get those millions of temporary fans who picked them for their colors, mascots, etc…

 

SF 49ers LB Chris Borland, 24, said today he is retiring after his rookie year over concerns about the long-term effects of repetitive head trauma. Maybe the standard NFL concussion worries, but perhaps Borland also feels that being part of the 49ers will result in him repeatedly banging his head against the wall?

Former SF 49er Ray McDonald, who had charges dropped against him for assaulting his fiancee in August, is now apparently going to sue a woman who accused him of sexual assault in December. (His lawyer says security video says the sex, in a hot-tub was consensual.) Just thinking, whether or not McDonald is guilty of any type of assault, he does seem to be guilty of stupidity. ‪#‎keepitzipped‬

 

Paul McCartney’s ex-wife Heather Mills said in an interview “When I go down the street, I get kids coming up to me… half of them don’t even know who he (McCartney) is. That’s why he has to do songs with Rihanna and Kanye West, so people remember.” Hmm, wonder if “kids” come up to Heather, 47, on the street because they think she’s working on it?

He thought the mattress would stand its ground? A Florida man was killed when he tried to ride in the back of a pickup truck while sitting on an unsecured mattress and was flung onto the ground. Police reported that “an autopsy is being conducted to determine his cause of death.” How about terminal stupidity?

ESPN’s Adam Schefter just reported that QB Tim Tebow worked out today for Chip Kelly and the Eagles. ‘Oh please, oh please” said every comedy writer in America.

SI is reporting that Jameis Winston will stay home with family and friends and will not attend the NFL draft in Chicago. Did they not offer him enough crab legs?

 

The US HHS Dept says the uninsured rate of American adults fell from 20.3% five years ago before Obamacare , to 13.2%. The largest drop – 35% and over 16 million people – in four decades. The GOP no doubt used this occasion to rail against commie pinko concepts like math.

Now Jon Voight is saying that President Obama “does not love Israel.” All these people talking about the President and who he loves. It’s like we’re back to having Clinton in office.

The UK Daily Mail is reporting that Stefano Gabbana of Dolce & Gabbana, who criticized gay parents for having “synthetic children,” was quoted in an Italian newspaper in 2006 as having asked a women friend to have his baby via IVF. Wow. This guy is a big enough hypocrite you wonder if his dream is to leave the fashion world for politics.

Two former Justice Department lawyers, one from the Obama administration, one from the Bush administration, have written in a Harvard Law Review that Ted Cruz is a “natural born Citizen,” and that “an individual born to a U.S. citizen parent — whether in California or Canada or the Canal Zone — is a U.S. citizen from birth and is fully eligible to serve as President if the people so choose.”

Waiting for some in the GOP to try to add “except if that individual is born in Kenya, or Hawaii.”

Chilly roses.

January 1, 2014

Tomorrow morning in Pasadena, forecasters are saying it might not quite make it to 60 degrees for the Rose Parade. And in most of the rest of the U.S., folks are thinking ‘Oh, STFU.”

 

In D-1 men’s basketballl, Southern University started with an 44-0 lead, and ending up beating Champion Baptist College 116-12. Down in the SEC, teams immediately started phoning Champion Baptist to see if they have a football team

 

Many NFL teams including the Packers have several thousand tickets available for their weekend playoff games. Wonder if the NFL would dare a playoff blackout?

 

 

Caroline Wozniacki and Rory McIlroy are engaged. Wishing them a happy marriage, but if not it could be a great experiment in genetic engineering.

 

 

So Johnny Manziel can end his college career on a high note. “F*ck yeah. All we needed was two interceptions in the 4th quarter to beat DUKE.?”

Tim Tebow, signed as an ESPN college analyst, says he is still training five days a week and hopes to return to the NFL.  Seems as likely a chance as…

 

A..most SEC players graduating

B…the Redskins returning to relevance in the NFL

C. hell freezing over.

D. All of the above.

 

 

Why you always want to run a few steps past the finish line. Peyton Manning broke Drew Brees’ single season passing record of 5476 yards Sunday by one yard. Then sat the rest of the game. Now it turns out that one pass may be rules a lateral, leaving him 6 yards short.

( NFL update from their official statistician, the Elias Sports Bureau  “the determination … is that the fairest resolution is for the ruling of the on-site stats crew to stand.”  Translation. “We screwed up, but hey, what’s a record that could have been broken later in the game, as opposed to officiating mistakes causing teams to miss the playoffs.”)

Now a 2009 video has emerged of Phil Robertson saying you should marry girls “when they are about 15 or 16.” But “you need to check with mom and dad about that of course”. Ah, family values.

First the security breach on credit cards, now apparently Target is reporting some shoppers are having problems using their gift cards. Beginning to think beyond discounting prices Target is using discounted computer programmers.

On MSNBC, host Melissa Harris-Perry, who is African-American, is facing criticism and has apologized after she and other panelists joked about Mitt and Ann Romney’s Christmas card. The photo featured the Romney’s over 20 grandchildren including a recently-adopted African-American infant. Where are the “Duck Dynasty” supporters screaming about freedom of speech?

 

And finally on a bipartisan note to friends and readers and those who are both.  “Happy New Year. May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.”

 

Southern family values.

September 10, 2013

George Zimmerman was briefly taken into custody over an alleged incident involving his estranged wife and a gun.  So congratulations to all those who had September 9 in the pool.

 

North Carolina Police said an 11 year-old girl accidentally shot and killed her 19 (not a typo) year-old stepfather when he was showing her his new handgun. (Mom is 35)  The silver lining to this sad story, since he was her stepfather, the young man qualifies for a Darwin Award.,

 

My friend Chris Eisenberg wonders how the family with the 35 year-old mom and 11 year-old daughter who accidentally shot her 19-year-old stepfather doesn’t have a reality show. Actually, I think they might be working on one: “Here comes Honey Boom Boom.”

It’s only week one but we know the NFL season is in full swing: Detroit Lions DT Ndamukong Suh is already looking at discipline from the NFL for an illegal hit against the Vikings.

Anthony Weiner responded grumpily to a question about the whereabouts of his wife on the Today Show Monday saying, that his campaign “was always about me.” Uh, Mr. Danger, everything was always about you. Which is part of the problem.

But what about feeding her family? A judge denied Jamie McCourt request to throw out their $131 million divorce settlement. The former L.A. Dodgers CEO believes her ex-husband Frank McCourt misled her about the value of the team, which he sold for $2 billion. A shame these two got divorced, they so richly deserve each other.

The Arena football team LA KISS has offered Tim Tebow a 3 year QB contract. Not sure how it would work out on the field, but any poster featuring Tebow with Gene Simmons has best seller potential.

 

The Washington Redskins are 0-1  #IblameObama

Chip Kelly’s Philadelphia Eagles made him a winner in his NFL coaching debut. Mostly surprising the East Coast media who figured that he’d only coached at Oregon, and thus had no experience with professional players.

 

 

A field goal with time expiring meant the Houston Texans won Tuesday Morning Football.

 

But really, what was it with this super late start time of the Texans-Chargers game.  It’s not like the NFL was competing tonight with real late night sports television – like a Yankees-Red Sox game.

A face-saving way out… with no bombing? Reports are that Syria may now accept a proposal to put their weapons under international control.”  So do we blame Obama?

 

It may now be a non-issue if Assad accepts turning over control of his weapons, but the GOP is saying that President Obama won’t be able to get any legislation passed in his second term if the House turns down his request to authorize a strike on Syria. Really? As opposed to all the legislation they were going to pass if Syria never happened?

Making whoopie?

September 3, 2013

A British zoo has appointed one of their staff as a “birds and the bees” consultant, and is experimenting with warning signs that say “ANIMAL BABY MAKING ZONE.” Why do I think in much of the U.S. this would cause more outrage than designating a zoo an “open carry” zone?

The Oakland Raiders named Terrelle Pryor as their starting QB. Another step in a 2013 season perhaps destined to lead to the REAL punishment for Johnny Manziel…. being drafted into Silver and Black?

Our long national nightmare is over. Jon Stewart returns tonight. Not that John Oliver wasn’t good…. But who better to report on the clusterf*ck that is Syria?

 

 

The Indianapolis Colts just waived rookie safety John Boyett from the University of Oregon following his arrest yesterday morning for disorderly conduct and resisting law enforcement. Boyett apparently told the cops “You can’t arrest me…I’m a Colts player.” Well, apparently it worked when he said “Ducks” in Eugene.

California Governor Jerry Brown didn’t attend the opening of the Bay Bridge, which has been plagued by construction problems and alleged defects. Lt. Governor Gavin Newsom presided in his place. Have to wonder, was Brown thus worried or hoping there would be glitches?

Kanye West is facing criticism for accepting $3 million to perform at a wedding hosted by Kazakhstan President Nursultan Nazarbayev, who has been accused of numerous human rights violations. But to be fair, West has to feed his family.

Two men were arrested this weekend for breaking into Wrigley Field and allegedly attempting to steal ivy from the historic ballpark. Hmm, wonder what ballpark they were trying to take it to, and which team they were trying to jinx?

Miley Cyrus said in an interview to the British “Sunday People”: “I have so many f***ing issues.” Really? How would the public ever know?

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft said today that he really wanted Tim Tebow to make the roster but it wasn’t his call.  Somewhere George Steinbrenner is rolling over in his grave.

Will Durst kind of summed it up “It’s fun to watch the Republicans’ natural hatred of Obama run smack into their love of bombing the crap out of the Middle East.”

So Clemson beat Georgia on college football’s opening weekend and jumped over Stanford to be #4 in the rankings, pushing the Cardinal down to #5. Now,  early rankings don’t matter, and Clemson is ACC anyway, but they are benefiting from the “rank all SEC teams high” strategy, so when they beat each other it counts more..

With the NY Mayoral Primary only a week away,  Anthony Weiner has fallen from 26% in the polls to 7% as of Sept 3.  Meaning so long to easy pickings like “Weiner shrivels” jokes.

(on the other hand, does anyone really expect him to go away quietly?)

 

 

In the America’s Cup, an international jury found Oracle Team USA guilty of cheating, fined them $250k, docked them two races in a best of 17 series, and dismissed three team members. Guess Johnny Manziel is thinking he’s glad he’s not a sailor.

Mixed messages

August 29, 2013

So the U.S. wants to send Syria a message but not do anything too serious that might start a war. Maybe we should turn the disciplinary action against Assad over to the NCAA?

The NCAA thinks they have sent a message with their 30 minute suspension for Johnny Manziel. And they have – only accept payment in cash.

A New Jersey appeals court just said that if you text someone you know is driving, you could be held liable if that driver causes a crash. The real winners in this decision? Lawyers.

Tim Tebow had two touchdowns and one interception tonight in a preseason game for the New England Patriots. For anyone scoring at home that’s one more touchdown and two less interceptions than Geno Smith did for the NY Jets…..

Kim Jong-Un reportedly had his ex-girlfriend executed by firing squad for making a sex tape. It would be really inappropriate to make a Kardashian joke here….

(And let me guess, Miley Cyrus won’t be performing in North Korea anytime soon.  Let’s hope a tape of the VMA’s doesn’t result in a missile strike….)

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts stock price fell today after they reported good but disappointing second-quarter profits. Guess investors got a little overly excited about marijuana legalization laws.

A new Rolling Stone article claims Bill Belichick threatened to cut Hernandez “after the 2013 season” if Aaron didn’t stop causing distractions. Well, that’s one thing off the Patriot coach’s “to-do” list.

Sometimes it just isn’t your year. And sometimes it is. The SF Giants’ Madison Bumgarner hasn’t won in a month and is 11-9 with a 2.91 ERA. The Detroit Tigers Max Scherzer, with a 2.90 ERA, gave up 5 earned runs in 6 innings, but kept his 19-1 record when Detroit rallied for 4 in the bottom of the 9th.

The Palazzo hotel in Las Vegas Strip is trying to evict “The Act” nightclub for shows it says are so raunchy that they violate obscenity laws. Well, this ought to assure standing room only crowds as long as the club lasts….

Alabama QB AJ McCarron says he isn’t fixating on the Crimson Tide’s shot at a historic three-peat. That’s okay, the media is fixating enough on it for him.

The NFL just reached a $765 million settlement with more than 4,500 former players with their concussion lawsuit. A lot of money, though after lawyer fees probably less than $100k a player. But the NFL had billion$ of rea$on$ to $ettle thi$ before the $ea$on started.

Vanderbilt’s punter is studying to be an neurosurgeon. In the rest of the SEC, they’re thinking “big deal, we think our punters can probably spell neurosurgeon.”

From T.C.  “The NCAA has suspended QB Johnny Manziel for the 1st two quarters of Texas A & M’s season opener. This means he will be available for the entire first half to autograph your A&M souvenirs.”

On ABC News George Zimmerman’s wife Shellie today said she has to ‘think about’ staying in her marriage. And if she doesn’t wonder how long Shellie will “think about” a book deal.

Color me anything but blue?

August 24, 2013

Urban Meyer has forbidden anyone – fans, media, NFL scouts -watching Ohio State football practices from wearing blue. Since blue is a Michigan color. Really, I’d have thought Meyer would worry more about people upsetting the team by wearing orange – the color of prison jumpsuits.

 –

A $1 million winning New York lottery ticket from August 2012, will expire today if not claimed. And many of us are still annoyed at our moms just for accidentally throwing away old baseball cards and comic books.

Following up on that story of RGIII being fined for wearing an “Operation Patience” t-shirt in practice. Turns out the Redskins QB is a repeat offender; he was fined $10,000 for wearing Adidas clothing to a post-game news conference last December, and warned after the season opener for covering up the Nike swoosh on his warm-up shirt. The horror! How many offenses for a lifetime ban?

Derek Jeter will rejoin the Yankees on Monday. The team will be thrilled to welcome him back, if for no other reason than a headline that doesn’t involve A-Rod.

Geno Smith threw three interceptions today, Mark Sanchez might be injured. Well, Tim Tebow may be available.

Anthony Weiner was involved in a three carfender-bender this morning in New York. No injuries, and so far no word as to who might have been at fault. Not that we have any reason to suspect Weiner of doing anything risky with his phone.

Todd Gloria, 35, will be the new acting mayor of San Diego. He is young, attractive, and gay. Could women feel any safer?

In Slaughter, Louisiana, police said an 8-year-old boy intentionally shot and killed his 90 year old caregiver. The statement read ” Although a motive for the shooting is unknown at this time investigators have learned that the juvenile suspect was playing a video game, ‘Grand Theft Auto IV…” Got it, guns don’t kill people, video games kill people.

A new study says that on average, single men only wash their bed sheets four times a year. Wonder how many of those single men polled responded “you wash sheets?”

 

Perhaps I need a new contact lens prescription?  Saturday night I saw a 4 on the board in the #SFGiants column in the first inning.

The AP reports that a South Brunswick, NJ man, Mario Scarnici, has come forward with one of the three winning tickets sold for the Aug. 7 Powerball drawing, and will net $62 million after taxes. They add “A telephone number for Scarnici could not be located Saturday afternoon.” Ya think?

Not just a river in Egypt

August 23, 2013

ESPN dropped out of its partnership with PBS on the documentary “League of Denial,” a investigation of NFL players’ head injuries. The network said the decision was not due to league pressure. What’s next, an ESPN statement that the NFL doesn’t have a steroid problem?

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer will retire next year. Or as the company might have put it “shutting down to avoid further damage to their computer business.”

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner in his resignation speech said “I’ve never sexually harassed anyone.” He blamed “those of you in the media and politics who fed this hysteria… You have unleashed a monster… I think [we’ll] be paying for this affront to democracy for a long time.” Even A-Rod is thinking “Dude is in serious denial.”

More from Bob Filner’s resignation speech, where he said San Diego “just faced a lynch mob.” And he said he was “trying to establish personal relationships” with women, “but the combination of awkwardness and hubris led to behavior that many found offensive.” Once again, empirical evidence on why we need more women in office.

 

Broadcaster Dave Flemming returned to the SF Giants broadcast booth Friday night  from the Little League World Series.  Big change. Good thing Dave’s a pro & can adjust to Giants’ lower level of play

Vin Scully has announced he will return in 2014 for his 65th year with the Dodgers. 65 years! Wow. Does that mean he was a rookie announcer back in Jamie Moyer’s rookie year?

Ben Affleck will be the new Batman. Can’t wait to hear him ask where to “pahk the Batmobile.”

The NFL fined RG3 $10,000 for wearing an unauthorized t-shirt that said “Operation Patience” to practice before a preaseason game. Good to know the league is focused on what’s really important.

The New England Patriots lost 40-9 to the Detroit Lions last night. Maybe it was just pre-season football. Or maybe God REALLY REALLY doesn’t like putting Tebow on the bench.

One of those “the world is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel” moments: A GOP voter who believed Obama wasn’t a “natural born” citizen but still supported Ted Cruz told the Texas Tribune: “As far as I’m concerned, Canada is not really foreign soil.”

Testing, one, two, three….

August 22, 2013

Ryan Braun issued a statement acknowledging that he took PED’s in 2011, the year he won the NL MVP. “I’m shocked,” said at this point absolutely nobody.

Re #RyanBraun‘s apology for using steroids. Think I’ll actually believe the first guy who apologizes for using #PEDS BEFORE he gets caught.

Really? Apparently in regards to an HGH testing agreement, Congress is threatening to get involved because the NFL and the NFL Players Association have gotten so little done. Pot meet kettle. Kettle, pot.

80 GOP members of Congress urged Boehner to trigger a government shutdown rather than fund the implementation of “Obamacare.” Since they feel this way, I do hope the members are also voluntarily cancelling their own expensive government funded healthcare.

Some Roman tourists were charged $130 for four coffees with liqueurs at a Venice cafe. Upon hearing the news, Starbucks instructed their lawyers to look into the costs of liquor licenses.

You can’t make this “stuff” up: On Family Feud the question was “Name a state that ends with the letter “A.”  One contestant’s response:  “Arkansas.”

FOX is going to charge $4 million for 30-second Super Bowl ads. Wow. That kind of $$ for a pay-to-play ratio is almost on the level of Simon Cowell’s future child support.

Not saying the 2013 SF Giants are playing like they’ve checked out, but they’ve just been voted the favorite team of the National Librarians Association.

#AaronHernandez was expected to be indicted for murder today. Quick, time for the #Patriots to release another #Tebow story.

This item passed along by Ryan Duca. Apparently when Nationals manager Davey Johnson showed for a Washington radio show. the story came up about Boston Red Sox catcher Mike Napoli’s apparently dating an “adult film actress”/porn star. Johnson’s reply: “Well none of my guys could, ’cause we can’t score.”

Bradley Manning is now referring to himself as Chelsea, and wants to begin hormone therapy right away in prison. Given the way he feels about the U.S. Government, however, I assume he is looking for private donations to pay for it?

 

David Ortiz told a reporter than he disapproved of Ryan Dempster throwing at Alex Rodriguez. I’m sure the fact that Big Papi was named in the Mitchell Report as allegedly testing positive for steroids in 2003 had nothing to do with it….

From T.C.  “Tiger Woods, complaining of a sore neck and back, did not play the back nine of his pro-am Wednesday in New Jersey because he said his mistress, I mean mattress, at the hotel was too soft.”

And okay, for a serious end to this post, we’ve heard enough about the young black/biracial thugs in Oklahoma. How about these two black women? You go girls.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/22/us/georgia-school-shooting-911-reunion/index.html?hpt=hp_t1