Left Coast Sports Babe

Class, nothing but class. Police in Aspen cited Lance Armstrong for failing to report an accident and speeding last month, after he allegedly hit two parked cars after a party, and got his girlfriend to say she was driving to avoid “a national story.” ‪#‎Liestrong‬

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You have to wonder how Armstrong thought he would get away with it.  Although if this story really starts going viral, Lance may start getting bouquets, from Pete Carroll and the Seahawks.

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Hear that Pete Carroll was supposed to throw out the first pitch at a Mariners game. But fans are asking Seattle management if Marshawn Lynch can just run the ball in instead.

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Tom Brady says he plans to give the Chevy Colorado he won as Super Bowl MVP to Malcolm Butler. A nice gesture. Though before Butler drives the truck he might want to check the pressure in the tires.

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From Marc Ragovin. Who hears Pete Carroll will be starring in a new movie – “The Wrongest Yard.”

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A truck carrying frozen chicken collided with a truck carrying bees near Palm Springs Tuesday and both vehicles caught fire. Both drivers escaped, but beware of imminent sales featuring heavily discounted honey barbequed chicken.

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Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), arguing against “regulatory burdens,” this week said that restaurants should be able to “opt out” of health department regulations that require employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom. Well, so much for dinner parties at HIS house

To be fair, the Senator did say they should then post a sign saying they didn’t have the rule and then the marketplace would take care of it. Okay, then, do we need a government regulation to REQUIRE such restaurants to put up a sign?

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Rep. John Boehner: “I do believe all children ought to be vaccinated.” Some in the GOP are worried. Next thing the Speaker of the House will do is make some heretical statement about believing in science.

Some blame the measles outbreak on undocumented immigrants. Considering that this all started from Disneyland, and a single day at the park is $400 for a family of four before parking and food (closer to $600 if you also visit California Adventure), I’m thinking the odds of the child in question being from a wealthy anti-vaccine family are more than slightly higher.

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Rand Paul, “I have heard of many tragic cases of walking, talking normal children who wound up with profound mental disorders after vaccines.” Does this explain some of his colleagues?

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Charlie Manson’s marriage license with his 26 year old girlfriend has apparently expired. So guess what. psycho ladies? He’s available.

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Browns WR Josh Gordon, who allegedly tested positive for alcohol while on probation, has been suspended for a year by the NFL. Rumor has it he was partying with Manziel. This presumably is not what Cleveland had in mind when Johnny Football said he would “wreck this league.:

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From Bill Littlejohn:  “Johnny Manziel has checked into rehab—this just in:three local Las Vegas casino workers unions have filed for bankruptcy.”

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Timing is everything…. A Royal Caribbean ship made headlines today for cutting a cruise short because over 200 people became sick with norovirus, which causes nausea and diarrhea. And just got this in my email from the cruise line “Last minute deals, going, going, gone…”

Yes, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” But I don’t have a problem with Jordan’s revenge today. They were far more merciful than ISIS.