Posted tagged ‘Brady jokes’

Bowl’ed over

February 4, 2018

Happy Super Bowl Sunday.  Along with 4/20 the favorite American day for the makers of Doritos.

Best Super Bowl commercial should remind millennials. or inform them if they haven’t seen it,  that #DirtyDancing was one of best movies of all time.

Dodge Ram Super Bowl commercials makes many of us long for the simpler days when Martin Luther King, Jr, was only used on his birthday to sell mattresses.

 –

 

On the bright side, kids in Africa are going to be getting some really good looking “Patriots Super Bowl 52” champions t-shirts

Happiest people not in Philadelphia right now are those who bet the over.

But how much would you have gotten on the prop bet in Vegas on two missed PATs in the first half?

Meanwhile, the Patriots are already the favorites to win Super Bowl 53 at 9-2.    While the Bears, Jets, and Browns are 100-1.

Wonder what the odds are on the Browns winning a game?

 

But when did the Super Bowl turn into arena football?

Drew Brees apparently sent Nick Foles good luck wishes before the game. Did Saints coach Sean Payton send the Eagles that trick TD play?

So which comes first, #Eagles saying they don’t want to visit White House or Trump saying he wouldn’t have invited them anyway?

In Philadelphia cops put hydraulic fluid on poles to prevent climbing after #SuperBowl Really? And they took  away all those potential Darwin Award winners & organ donors?

 

February 2012 – Gisele Bundchen “My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.” Unfortunately for her & Patriots, Nick Foles CAN. #SuperBowl

 

First  Super Bowl with winning TD from an Arizona Quarterback, Nick Foles, to a Stanford tight end, Zack Ertz.   So who needs a stinkin’ bowl game win?  #pac12pride

Super Bowl 52 is over.    The Super Bowl 53 pre-game show starts tomorrow.

SNL skit had Trump getting his daily intelligence briefing from “Fox & Friends.” White House may sue NBC for giving away state secrets.

Ageless?

August 3, 2017

Tom Brady is 40 today. Hope he’s not feeling too deflated about it.

So much attention on Steph Curry’s 1st round of professional golf even though he has no chance to win the tournament. Yep, it really is almost like he was Tiger Woods.

 

Alabama football coach Nick Saban won’t suspend Da’Shawn Hand for his 430a DUI arrest last weekend. Saban says it’s because his potential starting DL was found asleep in car & not actually driving when police found him.
Well that and the Tide open against Florida State.

Rockies closer Greg Holland cut his finger in kitchen accident, is “day-to-day.” Uh, maybe if you can’t stand being on DL, get out of the kitchen.

 

Grateful Dead night at AT&T Park.  SFGiants fans just grateful if the offense didn’t play like they are dead.

SF Giants still undefeated on odd-days in August.

Trump tweet “Our relationship with Russia is at an all-time & very dangerous low.” Uh, about those 13 days in October 1962.

A California man is suing Annie’s because their strawberry fruit snacks don’t contain any strawberries. Hope he never buys angel-food cake.

Trump is heading for a 17 day vacation in New Jersey. Can Chris Christie close down a bridge or something and keep him there?

With AG Sessions still upsetting Trump over the Russia recusal,  McMaster saying Susan Rice did nothing wrong, and Mueller convening a grand jury, it’s going to be a tough call to pick a favorite in the firing pool.

So who’s going to be the first to start a band named “Local milk people.”

 

Now it’s Dubai’s 79-story residential Torch Tower on fire (again) following London’s Grenfell Tower tragedy. But hey, who needs regulations?

Remember Towering Inferno? “You know, one of these days you’re gonna kill 10,000 in one of these firetraps, and I’m gonna keep eating smoke and bringing out bodies until somebody ask us… how to build them.”

Remember those days when August was a slow news month?

Donald Trump changed his mind.  After nominating ex-LA Dodgers co-owner Jamie McCourt as Ambassador to Belgium,  he now nominated her instead as Ambassador to France.

The White House did note Jamie speaks French!

(guess no one told Trump French is one of three official languages of Belgium?)

 

 

If the state secedes I have no problem with @realDonaldTrump becoming the first President of West Virginia.

The Senate unanimously blocked Trump from making recess appointments over break.

The technical reason Trump cannot make recess appointments is –  Senate pro-forma sessions in August.  Who set sessions up?  Alaska’s Senator Murkowski. No doubt with a smile.

With Trump’s 38% approval rating it’s pretty clear that some Republicans are supporting him just because he’s a Republican.
But as we look ahead to 2020, amazing how many Democrats are already drawing lines saying they won’t support someone if he or she isn’t THEIR Democrat.

from Marc Ragovin  – “Former NY Giant Michael Strahan lost part of one of his fingers in a recent accident. “Amateur,” said Jason Pierre-Paul.”

Changing seasons.

February 6, 2017

Another reason baseball is the best sport. When the World Series game 7 was tied after regulation, both teams got a turn to bat.

 

SF 49ers fans should relax w/ Kyle Shanahan. Not like the 2017 team is going to have many 25 point leads to blow.

 

Clydesdales were originally bred in Scotland. Maybe that’s why there was no “aww” story this year. Budweiser was afraid they’d be accused of taking jobs away from real American horses.

Wonder how many craft-beer liberals are buying Budweiser & Bud Light for the first time ever this week? #boycottbudweiser

Tom Brady still can’t find his Super Bowl jersey. Anyone asked Putin?

 

Now the lieutenant governor of Texas has asked the Texas Rangers to join in Houston PD to help find Tom Brady’s missing Super Bowl jersey. How long until this gets blamed on a member of the liberal media?

If  Tom Brady really is GOAT can we give an assist to Pete Carroll and Kyle Shanahan’s 4th quarter Super Bowl play calling?

On a brighter note, some children in Africa this am can trade in their  Indians World Champions shirts for some shiny new Falcons ones.

MLB is proposing to raise lower part of strike zone to the top of the hitter’s knees, from its current “the hollow beneath the kneecap.” Pitchers are thinking fine, if they actually start calling strikes above the waist.

 

We learned one thing this weekend. Sean Spicer can take a joke a lot better than his boss.

George H.W. Bush got a standing ovation today before #SuperBowl. But heck, compared to the current White House occupant, George W. would get a standing ovation.

A Jacksonville woman is being sought by police for performing oral sex on a man and posting it to social media. The alleged act took place at the county courthouse. Back on your game, Florida.

 

Americans have to be wishing  Trump was half as  focused on Serious issues facing this country as he is on the NY Times.

In a 2004 book called “The Librarian,” by Larry Beinhart, author of “Wag the Dog,” there’s a right-wing conspiracy backing an ineffectual president. They try to create a terrorist act to keep him in power for a 2nd term. Scary book. Glad it’s only fiction….

Rep. Matt Gaetz from Ft. Walton Beach, introduced a bill to dissolve the EPA. I trust Gaetz also feels it would be a waste of money for the Feds to spend any money the next time Florida has any oil spills or other environmental disasters.

Obama – Christians did bad things “in the name of Christ.” GOP outrage. Trump-“You think our country’s so innocent.” GOP crickets #WTF?.

Trump terrorism speech “All over Europe it’s happening. It’s gotten to point where it’s not even being reported. Like #BowlingGreenMassacre?

Some of this stuff you just can’t make up. Melania Trump has a lawsuit against the UK Daily Mail for libel, and the paper has published a retraction of rumors that she worked as an escort. Okay, so far so good, and it’s understandable the First Lady would be upset.

BUT, her lawyer claims “plaintiff had the unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, as an extremely famous and well-known person … to launch a broad-based commercial brand in multiple product categories, each of which could have garnered multi-million dollar business relationships for a multi-year term during which plaintiff is one of the most photographed women in the world.”

Slip sliding away…

February 5, 2017

So did that extra month of rest Roger Goodell gave Tom Brady this year make a difference down the stretch of #SB51?

In the 4th quarter Brady and the Patriots went through Atlanta faster than anyone not named Sherman.

At least @warriors fans can rest easy knowing their team will no longer win the ESPY for greatest postseason choke job in the last year.

But really, what’s with these collapses, the Warriors, the Indians, the Falcons.  At this point maybe we should all plan to bet on whoever goes down 3-0 in this year’s Stanley Cup Finals.

You’d think after watching Pete Carroll that the Falcons would have learned the lesson, when you’ve got the game won late, run the damn ball.

Wonder how long it took Matt Ryan to realize that a couple V for Victory formations and a field goal would have iced this game? #Superbowl

Avocados from Mexico commercial. Waiting for the Trump rebuttal.

But where were the Clydesdales tonight?  I blame Trump

Cant wait for Sean Spicer  to congratulate the Patriots tomorrow on the largest margin of victory in Super Bowl history.

Really? Trump’s latest tweet “Just cannot believe a judge would put our country in such peril. If something happens blame him and court system. People pouring in. Bad!”
So who do we blame for Quebec City, (yes, I know that’s Canada) Charleston, Aurora? And the other over 12,000 Americans killed last year by gun violence?

 

VP Pence said today White House considering removing sanctions against Russia. Congrats to all those who had Feb 5 in the pool.

As some attacked idea of liberals rooting for a team from a Red State, can we remember that #JimmyCarter is from Georgia. #Falcons #Superbowl

Just guessing we can add #MelissaMcCarthy to list of actors who won’t be invited to any Trump state dinners.

No tweets from the President over last night’s @SNL. Is @realDonaldTrump sick? Or did someone hide his phone?

 

Protest in Palm Beach last  night were nonviolent but apparently disturbing to Trump at his Florida gala tonight titled “Vienna to Versailles’
Not perhaps as disturbing as it might have been had the President read his history on Versailles.

From Marc Ragovin  “President Trump just congratulated the New Jersey Generals on winning their eighth Super Bowl.”

Approaching MLB’s regular season last weak….

September 23, 2016

Whatever you think of Wild Cards in #MLB, without them there might not be a single game that would matter for last week of the season.

Okay, the #SFGiants have about 100 pitchers in their bullpen and in a one-run game in the 5th they turn it over to Matt Reynolds? #WTF?

New England QB Jacoby Brissett has a thumb injury. Gosh, hope the #Patriots have someone in mind as a  long-term possible replacement.

The Raiders’ Marquette King was fined over $18K for horse collar tackle last week. King is the team’s PUNTER. Wonder if he’s going to frame the NFL fine notice?

#KevinGarnett announced his retirement today. “The first time is the hardest” said Brett Favre.

Colin Kaepernick is on the cover of Time Magazine. Whatever you think of his protest nice to see an NFL player getting this much off-field media attention without his own arrest being involved.

Backup Seattle catcher Steve Clevenger has been suspended for tweeting about Charlotte: “BLM is pathetic once again! Obama you are pathetic! Everyone involved should be behind bars like animals!”
Clevenger has apologized and said he is not racist. But have to think the Mariners suspended him not just for racism but stupidity.

The Ohio county chair for Donald Trump’s who said “I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected” has resigned. Wonder if she’s already gotten a job offer from Fox News?

Does the #Patriots 3-0 start officially eliminate #TomBrady from this year’s NFL MVP competition?

So Ted Cruz has now endorsed Donald Trump and Kim Kardashian says after a long talk with Caitlyn that she’s on the fence. #Wearegoingtoneedabiggerbasket

#TedCruz thought that Americans would elect him to stand up to our enemies? In the end, he couldn’t even stand up to #Trump

 

Bruce Springsteen called Donald Trump “a moron.”   Chris Christie hasn’t felt so conflicted since he had to choose between the last two doughnuts on a plate.

#Trump tweeted out today “This is more than a campaign- it is a movement.” Uh, yeah, he left out a word – bowel.

A thought about tweets that get people in trouble. Yes, I get that it’s hard to say exactly what you mean in 140 characters. But if you’re a public figure without the gift of being succinct, maybe stick to Facebook?

 

#DonaldTrump called #TedCruz “the worst liar he’s ever known.” #Cruz called #Trump a “pathological liar.” Credit where credit is due.

To put this in sports terms, this is like them deciding to root for the Browns over the Bengals:
“The Cincinnati Enquirer has supported Republicans for president for almost a century — a tradition this editorial board doesn’t take lightly. But this is not a traditional race, and these are not traditional times.
Our country needs calm, thoughtful leadership to deal with the challenges we face at home and abroad. We need a leader who will bring out the best in all Americans, not the worst.
That’s why there is only one choice when we elect a president in November: Hillary Clinton.”

Here we go again. Another mass shooting, this time at a mall in the state of Washington. The alleged suspect is a reportedly a Hispanic male. So if true he’s mentally ill, not a terrorist. Unless he is an immigrant….. Sigh.

Under pressure?

July 15, 2016

 

ESPN reports that the Yankees, at 44-44, are 38 losses away from their first under .500 season since 1992.
(No punchline, just with all the crap going on in the world I felt like sharing it.  And after tonight, 37.)

Roger Goodell “I think all of us have evolved a little bit on the gambling. To me, where I cross the line is anything that can impact that integrity of the game.” “Integrity of the game?!” And Goodell said it with a straight face.

Our long national nightmare is over: Tom Brady has announced he will “no longer proceed with the legal process,” and serve his four-game Deflategate suspension.

GOP‬ ‪#‎TrumpPence‬ ticket has ‪#‎TP‬ logo. If some creative ‪#‎Dem‬ isn’t selling bathroom tissue by Monday, will be very disappointed in America

New slogan for @HillaryClinton – “Clinton 2016, because TP will just take America down the toilet.”

Will ‪#‎MikePence‬ support right of Indiana businesses not to display that tightly interwoven TP logo on religious freedom grounds? ‪#‎TrumpPence‬

With Mick Jagger having another child at the age of 72, how long before some company comes up with a combo pack of father-baby diapers?

There has been an attempted military coup going on in Turkey and apparently at the moment “it is unclear who is in charge.”
Well, the same can often be said of Washington, D.C.

 

This is not a good weekend for Europe. But have to wonder, just how upset is Donald Trump that events have overtaken his VP selection for headline news?

 

Looking at the Emmy nominations makes me feel old- I remember when network shows actually got nominated.

So now we have this new summer “Black Friday” and all these announced sales? For what reason, because somehow Americans don’t have enough stuff? ‪#‎sarcasm‬

Newt Gingrich, in a last ditch attempt to overtake Mike Pence on the crazy train to be Trump’s running mate: We should “test every person here who is of a Muslim background, and if they believe in Sharia, they should be deported,”
Of course, those who are anti-minority, anti-gay and/or anti-women for “Western” reasons, well, not only should they not be deported but heaven forbid we stop them being armed.

 

 

Jeb Bush, in an op-ed today in the Washington Post said some in the GOP were “making us seem anti-immigrant, anti-woman, anti-science, anti-gay, anti-worker and anti-common-sense.”
SEEM????!

Messing with Texas.

January 26, 2016

Against Golden State tonight, San Antonio turned the ball over so often you have to wonder if Carlson Palmer was involved.

Apparently Johnny Manziel spent Sunday afternoon watching the Patriots and Broncos while drinking and partying at a Dallas bar. Well, makes sense. Guessing this will be one more in a long line of NFL playoff games that Manziel will be watching at a bar.

 

Lebron James, talking about Tyronn Lue’s “vision” of implementing an up-coming offense. “I don’t know. We don’t know. This is what Coach wants to do… this isn’t a LeBron thing.” Translation, if it doesn’t work, Lue’s tenure could be nasty, brutal and short.

Tom Brady, after yesterday’s loss, says he has “no excuses.” No worries, no doubt Giselle has plenty of them.

Khloe Kardashian said of Lamar Odom that, “he’s doing great, but his memory’s not so good.” Maybe he’s doing great because he forgot he was married to a Kardashian?

Donald Rumsfeld said that George H.W. Bush’s criticisms of him are not “very helpful” to Jeb’s run for the presidency. With all due respect, the person who is the least helpful to Jeb’s run for the presidency is Jeb.

In Orlando, two former tech employees have filed a lawsuit, claiming Disney colluded with consulting companies in using H-1B visas to hire people from India to replace them. Not sure what will happen, but between legal fees and a possible settlement, sounds like ticket prices are going up.

#‎RickPerry‬ has endorsed ‪#‎TedCruz‬. Wonder how many reasons the Texas Governor gave for the endorsement?

Glenn Beck today called Donald Trump a “very dangerous man” after Trump’s remarks about shooting someone last week. Just how insane do you have to be for Beck to call you dangerous? ‪#‎guessweknowtheanswertothatquestion‬

A Texas grand jury looking into allegations against Planned Parenthood has issued indictments  – against the anti-abortion activists who made the videos.  Waiting for some GOP candidate to say, “Well, of course that’s what happens in a commie-pinko blue state…. Oops, never mind.

So now that the Texas grand jury has cleared Planned Parenthood but indicted the people who made those misleading videos can we name Carly Fiorina as an unindicted co-conspirator?

 

Donald Trump says he could shoot someone dead on Fifth Avenue and not lose any votes.  And somewhere Charlie Crist is thinking “But just try putting your arm around President Obama.”

Chris Christie, in response to a questioner who asked him why he was in New Hampshire campaigning instead of back in New Jersey dealing with storm damage and flooding “What do you want me to do, bring a mop?”
If he does get the nomination, Christie could do the near impossible – make Hillary Clinton look warm and fuzzy.

This bus-to-hell moment brought to you by Alex Kaseberg  “Alaska was hit with a 7.2 earthquake. It was so bad it knocked Bristol Palin off the dude she just met.”

Clipped wings?

January 24, 2016

Right about now if Carson Palmer threw a tantrum it would be intercepted.

Maybe we should have expected this Panthers-Cardinals result – cat owners do know what cats do to birds.

Meanwhile,  Manning vs. Brady turned out to be a battle for the aged.

Interesting that for as little difference as the decision to make the PAT a 33 yard kick may have made the season, that decision might have kept the Patriots out of the Super Bowl.

The snow has stopped, and headlines in New York papers today say things like “We survived.” And in places like Denver, Chicago and Minneapolis they are just giggling.

In Kansas, State Senator Mitch Holmes instituted a dress code for women testifying before committees – no short skirts or plunging necklines, as he says they look provocative and are a distraction Hmm, now for men, what about comb-overs, bad toupees. and pants belted under bellies, which look ridiculous and are a distraction.

Donald Trump wants Megyn Kelly off the next debate, Fox has responded “Megyn Kelly has no conflict of interest. Donald Trump is just trying to build up the audience for Thursday’s debate, for which we thank him.”
How often do I say this, “Fox News is right.”

 

Bizarre fact on Monday’s  ‪#‎SpursvsWarriors‬ game; GS coach Steve Kerr retired after playing for San Antonio in 2003, 3 of his teammates & coach still on team.

Rick Santorum says if he doesn’t do well in Iowa he may end up ending his 2016 Presidential campaign. Shocking. Santorum is still running in 2016?

Jeb Bush today praised Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder for “stepping up” and accepting responsibility for the Flint water crisis. Amazed he didn’t say “Rickie, you’re doing a helluva job.”

A Brooklyn man, playing around with a gun he thought was unloaded, put it to his friend’s head and pulled the trigger. He thought wrong. And has been arrested for homicide. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎yourmoveFlorida‬

To all who love to dismiss the idea of gun control working when there is a shooting in Canada or a city or state with tough laws. So since there are still deaths resulting from drunk drivers does that mean we should give up on DUI laws? Heck, for that matter why have laws against murder. It doesn’t stop all of them.

Excuses, excuses

September 10, 2015

You know, Hillary Clinton might have done a lot better with this whole email server thing if she said she had just done it to see if Bill was trying to sign up for an Ashley Madison account.

Bobby Jindal has said a lot of dumb things. But his comment today about Trump isn’t one of them ‪#‎creditwherecreditisdue‬

“But you know why he hasn’t read the Bible? Because he’s not in it.”

Former NBC News anchor Brian Williams will be back on the air with MSNBC Sept. 22. Can’t wait to hear about what exciting things Williams has been doing during his six-month suspension.

Little League is changing their age determination to Aug. 31, from the April 30 date it has been since 2005. (Before that it was Aug 1.) Which means kids must be 12 in August to play in the LLWS.

So wonder how many baseball parents will suddenly change their family planning to aim for July and August rather than March and April babies. ‪#‎youthinkiamkidding‬? ‪#‎nojoke‬

Opening NFL night, So let’s see, we had the Patriots QB who started dating his model wife around the time he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant with their child, and the Steelers QB who has twice been accused of rape. Who was a woman to root against?

The Warriors’ Draymond Green just donated $3.1 million to his alma mater, Michigan State. $3.1 million?!! At some universities that’s enough to cover a whole year’s salary to all the football team.

Recently released emails show the Bush White House response to 9-11. Including one just after the first plane hit the North Tower. “Turn on CNN …”

So even Bush and company knew not to turn to Fox for real news.

Memphis today announced a benefit dinner Dec. 28 to honor former men’s basketball coach John Calipari, then hours later announced they would not be recognizing him. Wouldn’t it have been more apt to say the honors would be vacated?

R.E.M lead singer Michael Stipe, angry that Trump used the band’s “End of the World” song without permission, referred to the Donald as a “sad, attention grabbing, power-hungry little man.” Wow. If Stipe gets tired of music, he might have a real future in political speech writing.

Fox just bought a majority stake in National Geographic. Is it more shocking that Fox might believe in the magazine. Or that they might believe in science?

From Sarah Palin’s Wednesday speech, as noted by Rachel Maddow,

So up there in Alaska, across the way Russia. You know there is a name for this taking advantage of America. There is a Russian name for that. And it is called ‘fortushka.’ And that means Obama’s window of opportunity. So as Obama leads from behind the skirt of his right-hand man, Valerie Jarrett, then it’s up to Congress to close that window. He may propose. You dispose, Congress. You gotta be in it to win it because we want peace. With unapologetic mighty red, white, and blue, will have peace.”

Is this what Sarah meant about “speaking American?”

From T.C.  “McDonald’s has announced they will be serving eggs from cage-free chickens in the future. However, the workers in the drive-thru lines still have to remain in their cages except for two 15 minute breaks.”

Missed connections?

September 8, 2015

(belated post from last week that somehow didn’t post.)

A New Jersey man who butt-dialed 911 and let police listen in on his plans has been indicted on burglary charges. Once again proving that smart phones are no match for stupid people

Hillary Clinton accused Donald Trump of ‘innuendo, conspiracy theories and defaming people’ And then Trump accused Hillary of hacking to find his secret mission statement.

The lawyer for Kim Davis is now comparing the Kentucky clerk to Martin Luther King, Jr. and his letter from the Birmingham jail. Uh, except MLK wasn’t about getting more civil rights by denying other people their rights.

While there have been no major college football upsets in the first weekend, (so far,) it’s alas true for of most of these lightly ranked teams with playoff aspirations that their opening loss will make them “one and done.”

Some economists believe that this year’s El Niño might cause coffee prices to rise by up to 107 percent. To help consumers, Starbucks is considering a layaway plan.

Tim Tebow said after the Eagles’ last preseason game “I’m not going to worry about what I can’t control.” Like most of his passes?

Looks like ‪#‎TimTebow‬ has made the Eagles roster. So maybe God really is a Tebow fan. Either that or He/She really loves comedy writers.

Donald Trump said that Jeb Bush “should lead by speaking English while in the United States.” And Jeb’s thinking – “Uh, it was never necessary for my brother?”

An Oregon judge is apparently being investigated by a judicial fitness commission for refusing to perform same-sex marriages on religious grounds. Hmm, since Oregon just legalized marijuana, maybe they should consider simply trying to relax the judge.

Tom Brady, on the judge’s decision to overturn his suspension, said that while he is happy to be playing ” II am sorry our league had to endure this. I don’t think it has been good for our sport — to a large degree, we have all lost.”

Right, so Brady will just have to console himself with his Super Bowl rings, long-term multi-million dollar contract and super model wife. ‪#‎wehavealllostmyass‬

ESPN has announced Jessica Mendoza will be replacing Curt Schilling on Sunday Night Baseball for the last weeks of the MLB season. Not actually sure how I feel about this from a free-speech perspective. Never watched Schilling for his politics.

But, for ESPN it’s all about the $$$$. And clearly Mendoza, who is extremely knowledgeable, has been well-received enough that despite misogyny in the sports world and with some sports fans, the network thinks having her on is good for ratings. ‪#‎thetimestheyareachangin‬ ‪#‎yougogirl‬

From Bill Littlejohn:    “Waze Navigation has signed Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski to be the voice of a GPS app: ‘Customers report, however, that they always seem to end up at a bar or a hospital.’”

It’s a learning thing.

September 6, 2015

Tom Brady on the Patriots’ locker room assistants who are suspended after Deflategate, said “It’s been a very tough situation for everybody. It’s put a lot of stress on everybody’s families. I feel bad that anybody is in the position that we’ve been put in. Hopefully we can just keep learning from life’s experiences…
Life lesson #1 – Little people take the fall.

Race to the bottom ? There are only 3 teams in ‪#‎MLB‬ baseball w/ 80 + losses;:they are ALL in the NL Least ‪#‎Marlins‬ ‪#‎Braves‬ ‪#‎Phillies‬

Tom Brady said he has “a great amount of respect for Roger Goodell.” I think I like. “didn’t know anything about deflated footballs” better.

And here we go. A Muslim flight attendant says she was suspended by regional airline ExpressJet (American Eagle-United Express) for refusing to serve alcohol because it is against her faith. So Ted Cruz, Scott Walker, etc., where’s the spirited defense of religious freedom here?

Sarah Palin on CNN – “Republicans are the party of tolerance.” And she says it with a straight face.

Sarah Palin thinks we should all “speak American.” And presumably all immigrants should start out by buying a copy of the “Oxford American Dictionary?”

Notre Dame star RB Tarean Foltson, the team’s leading rusher last year, is out for the season with a torn ACL. Bummer.  But maybe God’s plan for the Fighting Irish is that they spend New Year’s eve this year home with their families.

The Kansas State band has issued an apology for forming what appeared to be a phallic symbol pointed in the direction of  arch-rival Kansas during halftime performance Saturday. Of course, the whole brouhaha has done one thing -millions of Americans who never would have noticed have now seen the formation.

A man is accused of trying to carve his name into a wall at the Alamo. Shocking. You’d think someone that stupid wouldn’t be able to write.

Some in the GOP love to talk about religious freedom. So why aren’t any of them espousing true freedom: Follow whatever religion you want. Just don’t hurt anyone, and don’t take a job that forces you to compromise your beliefs.

Ohio Governor John Kasich, who says Kim Davis should do her job, on the Kentucky situation “When we see these kind of battles going on, I get a little bit afraid that it turns people off to the idea of faith in God I think we need to talk a lot about the do’s, about humility, about helping our neighbor, about the need to live a life bigger than ourselves.
So after his best efforts with Denali is Kasich trying to throw away the all-important GOP crazy vote?

A Bleacher Report story focuses on the recent lack of star QBs in college football. Because maybe with all the stories on concussions etc, the young men who are smart enough to be great QBs are smart enough to avoid football?

Headline competition

July 29, 2015

A scumbag hunter illegally kills a beloved lion, the NFL upholds golden boy Tom Brady’s suspension after the QB destroys his cellphone, and now wreckage has been found from a plane that might be MH370.

Donald Trump’s going to have to outdo himself to make headlines today.

No one is saying that deflating a football is like hitting a woman. Even when it’s done by an organization with a history of bending the rules. And the Colts were going to lose if Brady threw actual bricks. But McGovern was going to lose in 1972 too. The cover up is ALWAYS worse than the crime. ‪#‎whenwilltheyeverlearn‬?

Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, complaining that he was “wrong to put his faith in the league.” “I was willing to accept the harshest penalty in the history of the NFL for an alleged ball violation, because I believed it would help exonerate Tom.”

Uh, sir, it is the ONLY penalty in the history of the NFL for an alleged ball violation. ‪#‎whenyoureinaholestopdigging‬

Jerry Jones says that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is doing “an outstanding job.” I’m sure it’s just coincidence that the 4th and last game of Brady’s suspension is scheduled to be against the Dallas Cowboys.

Conventional wisdom aside, the ‪#‎MLBTradeDeadline‬ is much more fun than the ‪#‎NFLDraft‬.

So now that he’s with Toronto ‪#‎BlueJays‬, will the star shortstop be known as Troy Tulowitzk-eh? ‪#‎TuloTrade‬

SF Giants having an online sale which includes a lot of Sandoval World Series 2014 merchandise. Prices on gear might be the only thing connected with the Panda that are shrinking this year. Okay, besides his offensive numbers….

There are now reports that United Airlines was hacked around the same time as Anthem and the U.S. Office of Personnel Management. A United spokesman said that it was ‘pure speculation,” and “we can assure our customers that their personal information is secure. We remain vigilant in protecting against unauthorized access and use top advisors and best practices on cyber-security to maintain our effectiveness.”

The same “best practices” they use for their reservations system? ‪#‎andhesaiditwithastraightface‬

Linda Tripp (google her, youngsters), says she is risking her wonderful family life now to speak out against Hillary Clinton, an ambitious liar who “will stop at nothing to achieve her end.” Tripp said: ‘I regret what I put my children through. I regret very much that they had to endure that level of vitriol but would I do it again? Yes….My civil service career, well over 20 years at that time, meant a sense of loyalty, patriotic duty and honor. I sincerely cared about the integrity of the country’s leadership.’
If anyone in the world could make Hillary Clinton come off as sympathetic, it’s Linda Tripp.

Well, that didn’t take long.. Marco Rubio tweeting today “look at all this outrage over a dead lion, but where is all the outrage over the planned parenthood dead babies.”

Well, while we’re at it where’s Rubio’s outrage over…mass shooting victims, soldiers killed in unnecessary wars, people who die without healthcare…. For starters.

From Marc Ragovin “The Yankees beat the Rangers 21-5 the other day, making it the first time in MLB history that the ump asked a manager whether he wanted to hit or stick. “.

On  a serious note, thinking all citizens and most police officers should be very grateful to whoever first came up with the idea of police video body cams.

Goal (s)!

July 1, 2015
The US beat Germany and is going to the Women’s World Cup final. Many Americans are so excited they might actually watch part of the game. ‪#‎USAUSAUSA‬

Just wondering, am I allowed to start a business and refuse clients who don’t believe in the Church of Baseball? ‪#‎religiousfreedom‬

 –
The Justice Department is investigating possible airline collusion on airfares. When they wrap up the investigation the DOJ’s next project will no doubt be determining if water is wet.
Wednesday was the first day that recreational marijuana is legal in Oregon. It was  also the first day NBA free agents can sign with teams? ‪#‎Coincidence‬? ‪#‎Trailblazers‬
It was 87 degrees with 34% humidity and everyone is complaining about how unbearably hot it is. Yes, Northern Californians are weather wimps.
Recently released emails show that Hillary Clinton didn’t know how to work the office fax machine. Said everyone under 30, “what’s a fax machine?”
The Boston Globe is reporting that Tom Brady and his wife Gisele Bundche, have apparently hit a snag in their efforts to o join The Country Club (TCC) in Brookline, Mass. It may be because the couple are too famous. Or maybe members don’t trust Tom around their inflatable water toys.

 

#‎SFGiants‬ just DFA’ed ‪#‎McGehee‬, MLB leader in GIDP’s. Now ‪#‎Casilla‬ is one away from MLB lead in blown saves. Not titles you want to win.
Jim Carrey called California Gov. Jerry Brown a ‘corporate fascist who must be stopped” and said the CDC was “corrupt” after Brown signed a mandatory vaccine bill. Maybe Carrey took that “Bruce Almighty” role a little too seriously?
Now Macy’s is the latest to end their relationship with Donald  Trump over his comments from referring to immigrants from Mexico as “killers and rapists.” Well, maybe this is another part of Presidential candidate Trump’s jobs program – creating a lot of new job opportunities as his own company gets fired.

A Tennessee hardware store owner put up a sign saying, “No Gays Allowed.” because he says homosexuality is against his religion and that if LGBT’s can stand up for what they believe in so should Christians.

Okay, fine, what about the “No Fornicators Allowed” sign? You know, adulterers, people having premarital sex, remarried divorced people….

Blue Jays 11, Red Sox 2, Toronto batters rapped out 16 hits. Maybe Boston pitchers didn’t realize that Canada Day, while a holiday, does not generally require the giving of gifts.

Drink up

May 14, 2015

 

Florida Gov. Rick Scott has signed legislation that allows the sale of “growler” beers, i.e. 64 ounce containers, in the state. “Growlers” are apparently legal already in most other states. Wonder if the hold-up was the worry that Floridians would consider them single-servings? ‪#‎staggeringyourground

The Patriots are claiming that the locker room attendant whose texts implicated Brady in Deflategate only called himself “the deflator” because he was trying to lose weight. I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

Steelers FB Le’Veon Bell to ESPN on his three-game suspension over marijuana possession and DUI. “I made a mistake,” Bell said. “I’m going to just have to do my time.” Whoa. This guy sounds way too responsible to be in the NFL. ‪#‎wherestheexcuses‬?

Fans who try to order a customized Patriots jersey from NFLshop.com with “DEFLATOR” on the back are receiving an error message: “We are unable to customize this item with the text you have entered. Please try a different entry again.”

Where are the defenders of free speech on this one?

(These jerseys are $294.99  plus tax and shipping.  My father points out, They are refusing to do “deflator” for $295?  That is a gross violation of their most sacred principles.)

Missouri House Speaker John Diehl has resigned after texts obtained by the Kansas City Star indicated a sexual relationship between him and a college freshman intern. Well, at least the intern is female. ‪#‎Whenwilltheyeverlearn‬ ‪#‎secrettextisanoxymoron‬

(and of course, Diehl is a married -for now- father of three, virulently anti-gay marriage types, who led the fight to override Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon’s veto of a bill that would allow employers not to cover birth control because of THEIR religious views. )

Drought math: Apparently it takes about 1,800 gallons of water to produce a pound of beef. only 32 gallons for a glass of wine. And 17 gallons for an average shower. So if Californians can just eat a little less and drink a little more, we can all be happier and cleaner.

George Zimmerman now apparently is thinking of leaving Florida because he gets “trouble” there. Okay, who wants to volunteer here? South Carolina? Arizona, Texas…?

 

At the time of writing this, the Padres are in a RAIN delay in San Diego. Wonder how long it took the grounds crew to find the tarp? ‪#‎whatisthiswaterfallingfromthesky‬? ‪#‎wehaveatarp‬?

Apparently the engineer of the Amtrak train that derailed was going 106 MPH when he should have been going 50 MPH. Why weren’t there safeguards in place? Why wasn’t there a second engineer maybe to tell him to slow down? Budget cuts.

But Congress is on it. Today the House voted to cut another $252 million from the Amtrak budget.

Just thinking, so if PTC (Positive Train Control) is too expensive for now…. how much would it cost to have an assistant engineer also in the Amtrak engine? ‪#‎alotcheaperthananaccident‬

So former NFL QB A.J. Feeley says Brady and the Patriots have been cheating with the footballs for years. Well, first, New England says they didn’t do it this time, and second, if they had of course it was just a one-time impulse that they had never tried before….. ‪#‎howcanyoudoubtSaintBrady‬?

 

Nick Saban on the new college football playoff system, said it was “great to be a part” of it. But he also thought “by having a playoff we would minimize the interest in other bowl games, which I think is sort of what happened and I hate to see that for college football.” Uh, does Saban think most people EVER cared about 90% of the other bowl games?

 

After Paul Pierce hit a 3 pointer with 8.3 seconds left in the Wizards-Hawks games for the lead he looked at the Atlanta bench and called “Series.” Because it would have taken too long to say “Mission Accomplished?”

Decisions, decisions

May 8, 2015

So let’s see, if Tom Brady gets a 3 game suspension, he misses the Steelers, Bills and Jaguars games….. if he gets a 4 game suspension, he misses the Cowboys. New England vs. Dallas. That’s a tough one. Many Americans are going to have a hard time deciding which team they would rather see lose.

 

 

No other QB in the NFL so far has said anything of substance on the Tom Brady “Deflate-gate” issue. But I wonder how many of them have been on their phones deleting texts?

Pretty clear that the Patriots didn’t need to cheat to beat the Colts in the AFC championship game. Of course, Nixon didn’t need to cheat to beat McGovern either…. ‪#‎whenwilltheyeverlearn‬ ‪#‎coverupworsethanthecrime‬

 

Besides deflecting Deflate-gate questions, Tom Brady commented yesterday on his no-show at the White House last month, saying if the Patriots won again “there’s no doubt I’ll be there. They should just give me a little more planning in advance.” Gosh, and how could anyone think the man is disingenuous?

The poor get poorer? Dante Fowler Jr., #3 pick in the 2015 NFL draft, tore his ACL less than an hour into the Jaguars’ rookie mini-camp. On the bright side, looking like Jacksonville should have another high draft pick next year..

A new WSJ/NBC poll found that 52% of Americans would be comfortable with a evangelical Christian presidential candidate, but 61% would be comfortable with a gay or lesbian president. ‪#‎Fabulous‬ ‪#‎thetimestheyareachangin‬

Meanwhile, Lindsey Graham is set to announce his candidacy for 2016 on June 1. #justsayin

A GOP state senator from Vermont was arrested on Thursday after he allegedly solicited sex from two women in exchange for overdue rent. Presumably not the way Republicans in the state wanted to stop Bernie Sanders from getting all the headlines.

 

At Heathrow Airport’s Terminal 2, a misting globe will dispense fragrances through the air that represent Brazil, China, South Africa, Thailand and Japan, as those are destinations passengers can reach from Heathrow.

Hmm…. out of Terminal 2 you can also take United nonstop to Newark, New Jersey…..

 

How the mighty have fallen. Today’s ESPN headline. “Tiger birdies final hole to move above cut line.”

Apparently Texas has gotten too many of the headlines: A principal of a charter high school was arrested after she was caught with a student, partially unclothed, and allegedly smoking marijuana. Nice trifecta, Florida.

Spanish police caught a woman trying to smuggle an eight-year-old boy across the border inside a suitcase. And U.S. airlines just got another idea for transporting discount fare passengers.

Warning on a new SPF 30 moisturizer – For External Use Only. Well, glad they cleared that up…. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎toomanylawyers‬

 

From Bill Littlejohn  ” Leaked from Tom Brady’s appeal to Roger Goodell. ‘To air is human, to forgive is divine.”

All about the balls.

May 6, 2015

The NFL Wells report has found that it is “probable” that Patriots personnel deliberately deflated balls against the Colts, and that quarterback Tom Brady was “generally aware” of what was happening. So how long until Roger Goddell penalizes the Saints?

Patriots owner Bob Kraft in January, proclaiming his team’s innocence. “Tom, Bill and I have been together for 15 years. They are my guys. They are part of my family, and Bill, Tom and I have had many difficult discussions over the years, and I have never known them to lie to me.”

Right, because family members NEVER lie to you. Paging Hillary Clinton

 

 

Patriots owner Robert Kraft condemned the Wells report on “Deflate-gate” saying the incriminatory findings were ‘incomprehensible’ and based on ‘circumstantial evidence’ rather than science. Uh, apparently no one has explained to Kraft about this texting thing?

 

Texas state Rep. David Simpson, a Republican, has proposed a bill to legalize marijuana in the state, and it was approved by a House committee. But this line from his March op-ed is the best – “I don’t believe that when God made marijuana he made a mistake that government needs to fix,” but it should be “regulated like tomatoes, jalapenos or coffee.” Jalapenos? ‪#‎GodBlessTexas‬

 

 

In Crane County,, Texas, apparently 20 students, out of only 300 at the high school, have chlamydia. The school’s only sex-program is “”Worth the Wait’ Abstinence Plus.” And the district superintendent, Jim Rumage says “If kids are not having any sexual activity, they can’t get this disease.” Is it too early for nominations for the 2015 “Captain Obvious” award? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎cantstophormoneseither‬

 

Cowboys’ draftee Randy Gregory, who admitted regular marijuana smoking in college, and failed a drug test at the NFL combine, said on Dallas radio “I don’t think it’s a weed problem. I think it’s decision making. I think I’m immature.”

Of course, if he were REALLY immature, he wouldn’t have enough self-awareness to make that statement?

Marshall University RB Steward Butler was arrested in West Virginia for allegedly beating two gay men just after he saw them kiss in public last month. So he thought they should be doing something more natural like kissing their sisters?

Isiah Thomas was fired as the Knicks coach in 2007 after a jury ruled that he had sexually harassed a female former team executive and then improperly fired her for complaining. Now Thomas has a new job: Knicks owner James Dolan hired him as president of the Liberty, New York’s WNBA team. ‪#‎whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

In Naples, Florida, a woman whose ex told her she was “drinking too much” was arrested for allegedly smashing his car with a BBQ grill, and then breaking a broom over his back. If only she had been armed

The Orlando Eye, just opened Monday. At 400 feet tall it is the tallest Ferris wheel on the U.S. East Coast . Heck, at 400 feet tall it might be the tallest thing, including hills, in Florida.

 

It’s Thursday morning and no GOP candidate has announced yet for President in more than 24 hours. Come on now., the clown car is idling and wasting gas..

 

Not the Onion. Kendall and Kylie Jenner are actually trying to trademark their first names for “entertainment in the nature of providing information by means of a global computer network in the fields of entertainment, fashion and pop culture.”
Not sure about whatever that means, but would they settle for “Kardashian” being a listed synonym for “self-absorbed” in the dictionary?

Tiger Woods says  he hasn’t slept since his breakup with Lindsey Vonn. Because he’s been “up” all night?

 

From Marc Ragovin.  “Tiger Woods said that he hasn’t slept since Lindsey Vonn broke up with him. Correction: He meant to say he hasn’t slept with another woman since Lindsey Vonn broke up with him.

A horse on a horse, of course, of course.

April 13, 2015

MLB: Colorado Rockies at San Francisco Giants

Of course, the way things went, the SF Giants might have had better luck scoring if they were playing polo.

 

Even though some may think that three World Series rings in five years is getting old, it’s important to remember. The Chicago Cubs won back-to-back World Championships in 1907-08. ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎carpediem‬

 

Tom Brady bounced his opening day pitch at Fenway Park today. But to be fair, the Patriots don’t have a Marshawn Lynch equivalent Brady could have handed the ball to.

 

Maybe the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are having a hard time batting with all those rings on their fingers?

Meanwhile, the first Monday night baseball game of the season will feature the Yankees vs the Orioles. Guess those three nationally-televised games against the Red Sox didn’t give the Bronx Bombers enough exposure?

Barry Bonds has spoken up in support of A-Rod and says he doesn’t know why baseball and the Yankees aren’t celebrating his milestones. Now, I am NOT a fan of Alex Rodriguez, but baseball’s attitude to him is a bit like Dr. Frankenstein complaining about someone building a monster. ‪#‎chicksdigthelongball‬

 

Yeah, I know, “Anything can happen.” But does anyone really care who gets the 8th seed in the NBA Eastern conference?

Marco Rubio is the latest entrant into the 2015 Presidential race. Two candidates now from Florida. Better make that clown car a convertible.

An Alaska Airlines flight had to make an emergency landing to rescue an employee who got stuck in in the cargo hold (which was at least pressurized.) The airline has stated this incident was a complete aberration, and not a test to see how it might work in future to transport passengers on their lowest fares.

So apparently that Alaska Airlines employee who was trapped in the cargo hold fell asleep in there. Asleep?! Really?! United Airlines is now trying to figure out how many “comfortable bed” tickets they can sell in cargo.

 

Another headline today about 100 people sick on a cruise ship, this time the Celebrity Infinity, which holds over 2,000 passengers plus over 1,000 crew. So 100 out of about 3,000 people. That’s much better odds for avoiding vomiting etc than most people get on say, spring break.

From Bill Littlejohn,  Apparently Wisconsin basketball coach Bo Ryan caused quite a stir with his post-NCAA Tournament “rent-a-player” comment. Now the Oakland A’s are considering suing for trademark infringement.”

 

 

 

 

Springing about a yard – or a century – forward?

March 29, 2015

A man called into an Indianapolis radio station saying he supported the state’s new law and turned away a gay couple at his restaurant. “Yes, I have discriminated…they can have their lifestyle and do their own thing in their own place or with people that want to be with them.” So I presume he also asks straight couples to prove they are married, and to each other?-

 

More on Indiana. Perhaps all who don’t want any LGBTs in their businesses should put their names on a list somewhere. Because even in the Midwest, there are gay police officers and firefighters. And they would presumably like to know which business owners not to offend by entering in a emergency situation.

 

Russell Wilson is back at Spring Training with the Texas Rangers. So if he reaches third base can the Rangers call on Marshawn Lynch as a pinch-runner to score?

The ‪#‎NigelHayes‬ dictionary expedition continues  And hey, the Wisconsin Badgers may not win it all. But who knows how many of their young fans may end up learning enough SAT words to get them into college.

Tom Brady posted a “scary” video of him jumping off a cliff while on vacation in Costa Rica. But have to presume his family was in a pretty safe resort area. If Brady wants to do something really terrifying, he could always sign next with the Raiders.

A report says that major U.S. banks are so upset at Elizabeth Warren that they are considering withholding their maximum allowable $15,000 per bank donation to Democratic Senate candidates. Shocking. Does anyone think major banks can’t find a way to donate more than $15,000 to a candidate?

An Arkansas state rep has a bill to ban California wines. Because he says a new California law that bans eggs where hen cages are too small for the birds to turn around is a “substantial burden” on Arkansas’s egg industry.

Hmm. This could result in California wineries losing sales of at least a dozen boxes of wine.

Seven people were shot at a spring break party Friday night. Well, this is what comes of students going to a dangerous place like Mexico. Oh, it was Florida. ‪#‎Nevermind‬.

 

Okay, Indiana, just imagining this scene. So 13 guys want to book a table for a supper. And one of them even asks if afterwards he might have a basin and towel to wash the other men’s feet. Sounds a bit odd. Guess it’s now legal to turn them down.

 

Ouch. Timing is everything, and not always in a good way. Germanwings has pulled ads from London’s Underground subway. The slogan? “Get ready to be surprised.

Clearly the referees in the ‪#‎NCAATournament‬ realize that that reason we turn into these games is to see foul shots.

A report in a British paper indicates that Russian President Vladimir Putin has a “Internet Research Center” has employees who do nothing but flood Twitter and Facebook accounts with propaganda, each needing to write at least 130 comments a day. Another example of American exceptionalism, here the GOP can accomplish the same thing for free with people who watch Fox News.

 

So many people questioning ‪#‎WouldKentucky‬ beat some NBA teams. Maybe we should be questioning ‪#‎WouldKnicks‬ beat some of these top NCAA teams

Liestrong

February 3, 2015

Class, nothing but class. Police in Aspen cited Lance Armstrong for failing to report an accident and speeding last month, after he allegedly hit two parked cars after a party, and got his girlfriend to say she was driving to avoid “a national story.” ‪#‎Liestrong‬

You have to wonder how Armstrong thought he would get away with it.  Although if this story really starts going viral, Lance may start getting bouquets, from Pete Carroll and the Seahawks.

Hear that Pete Carroll was supposed to throw out the first pitch at a Mariners game. But fans are asking Seattle management if Marshawn Lynch can just run the ball in instead.

Tom Brady says he plans to give the Chevy Colorado he won as Super Bowl MVP to Malcolm Butler. A nice gesture. Though before Butler drives the truck he might want to check the pressure in the tires.

From Marc Ragovin. Who hears Pete Carroll will be starring in a new movie – “The Wrongest Yard.”

A truck carrying frozen chicken collided with a truck carrying bees near Palm Springs Tuesday and both vehicles caught fire. Both drivers escaped, but beware of imminent sales featuring heavily discounted honey barbequed chicken.

Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), arguing against “regulatory burdens,” this week said that restaurants should be able to “opt out” of health department regulations that require employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom. Well, so much for dinner parties at HIS house

To be fair, the Senator did say they should then post a sign saying they didn’t have the rule and then the marketplace would take care of it. Okay, then, do we need a government regulation to REQUIRE such restaurants to put up a sign?

Rep. John Boehner: “I do believe all children ought to be vaccinated.” Some in the GOP are worried. Next thing the Speaker of the House will do is make some heretical statement about believing in science.

 

Some blame the measles outbreak on undocumented immigrants. Considering that this all started from Disneyland, and a single day at the park is $400 for a family of four before parking and food (closer to $600 if you also visit California Adventure), I’m thinking the odds of the child in question being from a wealthy anti-vaccine family are more than slightly higher.

Rand Paul, “I have heard of many tragic cases of walking, talking normal children who wound up with profound mental disorders after vaccines.” Does this explain some of his colleagues?

Charlie Manson’s marriage license with his 26 year old girlfriend has apparently expired. So guess what. psycho ladies? He’s available.

Browns WR Josh Gordon, who allegedly tested positive for alcohol while on probation, has been suspended for a year by the NFL. Rumor has it he was partying with Manziel. This presumably is not what Cleveland had in mind when Johnny Football said he would “wreck this league.:

From Bill Littlejohn:  “Johnny Manziel has checked into rehab—this just in:three local Las Vegas casino workers unions have filed for bankruptcy.”

Timing is everything…. A Royal Caribbean ship made headlines today for cutting a cruise short because over 200 people became sick with norovirus, which causes nausea and diarrhea. And just got this in my email from the cruise line “Last minute deals, going, going, gone…”

 

Yes, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” But I don’t have a problem with Jordan’s revenge today. They were far more merciful than ISIS.

 

Say it ain’t so.

January 26, 2015

A small drone that crashed on the White House lawn this morning apparently belonged to a “government employee” who said was using it for fun when he lost control of the flying device. You know, they really need to find more to do for Joe Biden.

Why there is no satire. Incoming MLB commissioner Rob Manfred said he wants to “inject more offense into the game.” Uh, been there, done that. Got the asterisk on the t-shirt.

 

Patriots owner Robert Kraft said today if the NFL can’t definitely determine guilt in “Deflate-gate”, that the league owes the entire team an apology. Guess that sounds better than saying the NFL would owe New England congratulations on the cover-up.

Richard Sherman, who missed the Pro Bowl because his team has a game this weekend, has a gripe. “Only thing I’m disappointed about is that we didn’t get our gifts from the Pro Bowl. Which is kind of dumb.The NFL is only league that punishes the players who actually make the all-star game by not giving them the gift.”

Well, to be fair, Sherman only signed a 4 year $56 million extension with the Seahawks. Dude’s got to take care of his family.

Arizona man who was hired as “assistant frequency coordinator” for the Super Bowl was fired after he posted a Facebook picture of himself wearing the security ID (The NFL forbids this because of fears the ID’s could be copied.)

His response. “When I screw up…I do it good….. They say that the hardest words in the English language to say are ‘I’m wrong.’ Well…I’m wrong.” Give the guy credit, he’s manned up better than the Patriots.

Tom Brady this morning on a Boston radio show about “Deflate-gate,” said “my feelings got hurt.” “I feel so sorry for him,” said no one outside New England.

What took so long? Fox Sports reports that NFL has “zeroed in” on a Patriots locker room attendant who allegedly took balls before the Patriots-Colts from the officials’ locker room to another area on the way to the field. So was it Belichick or Brady who uttered the pre-game words “Who will rid me of this meddlesome air?

Odell Beckham Jr., he of the highlight reel catches, says that he was bothered by a hamstring this year and wasn’t at full strength all season. And a bunch of cornerbacks and safeties just threw up.

Disney Cruise Line has announced plans to bring “Frozen” to life for cruise passengers this summer on select sailings to Europe and Alaska, with characters and music from the film. And presumably well-iced martinis to help parents survive hearing “Let it Go” one more time.

 

KFC in the Philippines has a new menu item, the “Double Down Dog” sandwich. It features a cheese covered hot dog inside a bun-size piece of fried chicken. No word on if the “Double Down Dog” will ever be available in the U.S. Presumably KFC first needs to find a sponsoring team of cardiologists.

Travel bans in effect Monday night in NY.. ‪#‎NYJets‬ & ‪#‎NYGiants‬ have done their part by not having fans need to fly to ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ ‪#‎blizzardof2015‬