Going to not-so-great lengths

Peyton Manning, in a speech last night at the Florida Forum “Many of you have probably heard that I have a significant announcement to make, so I thought I’d go ahead and make it with all of you here tonight. Papa John’s is offering 50 percent off tonight through Friday.”
Someday Manning may have the only funeral where they hand out pizza coupons.

South Africa’s highest court has dismissed Oscar Pistorius’s appeal against his murder conviction, so he could be facing a minimum 15-year jail sentence. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.

 

Anyone who thought the GOP campaign couldn’t go any lower? I think this CNN headline might mean we just hit bottom.”Donald Trump defends size of his penis.”

John Kasich isn’t someone I would vote for, but I still think he’s a capable human being.  Watching him on the margins of the GOP debate recalls an anecdote about Adlai Stevenson in the 1956 presidential campaign:   A woman called out “Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!” Stevenson called back “That’s not enough, madam, we need a majority!”

So if the GOP is really serious about stopping Trump, it should be noted that in Alaska the Donald got Sarah Palin’s endorsement. And the winner was Ted Cruz. ‪#‎coincidence‬?

Now Mitt Romney apparently is focused mostly on keeping Trump from having 1,237 delegates, the number he needs to secure the nomination, so that the GOP can block the Donald at the convention.
Well, this ought to do wonders for convincing potential Trump voters that the establishment isn’t rigged against them..

Mitt Romney just attacked Donald Trump for dishonesty and pointed to Trump’s “greed,” “showing off”, and “misogyny,” Hey wait, aren’t those real GOP values?

Mitt Romney called Donald Trump a “phony” and a “fraud” who would hand the election to the Dems in November. So which Mitt was talking? The moderate governor of Mass., or the “severe conservative” who ran in 2012?

An Australian writer, Helen Garner, got what she thought was a spam email with “good news” and saying somewhat at Yale needed her phone number. It turned out to be real; she had won a $150,000 writing prize.
And a whole lot of spammers just got a new idea.

Scott Kelly grew two inches while he was in space. And wonder how many men are telling women, “Well, I used to be an astronaut.”

Jim Harbaugh and Tennessee coach Butch Jones are now in a Twitter battle, where Jones went after Michigan for practicing in Florida, and Harbaugh told him to “focus on his own program.”
So how can we get a game between the Wolverines and Volunteers? ‪#‎ratings‬ ‪#‎whatsyourdeal‬?

LeBron James is getting some criticism for working out with Dwayne Wade during a couple off-days, especially as the Heat also are probably a playoff team. But really, who expects Miami to be around long enough in the postseason for it to matter?

Jeb Bush is trying to make a difference and redeem his status within the GOP. So if he’s really serious can Jeb endorse Trump?

 

Has someone told the ‪#‎Thunder‬ that hockey has three periods, basketball has four quarters? ‪#‎Warriors‬ ‪#‎NBA‬

Explore posts in the same categories: baseball jokes, debate jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized

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One Comment on “Going to not-so-great lengths”

  1. TC in BC Says:

    A buried knife was found on OJ Simpson’s former estate and the LAPD are currently testing it. OJ says that any blood found on the knife was due him cutting himself while showing an LA Dodger how to slice an avocado.


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