Posted tagged ‘politician jokes’

Bowling along.

December 28, 2014

When it comes to sports, in many ways hate has it all over love. Because the teams you love can suck, but there’s still always plenty of opportunity to root against the teams you hate.  (especially during Bowl season.)

As of very late Saturday night on the West Coast,  an AirAsia jet is missing on its way from Surabaya, Indonesia to Singapore, and an Italian ferry with over 400 people on board is on fire in the Adriatic sea. Potential tragedies in both cases, but for CNN, this is hitting the daily double.

 

Michigan governor Rick Snyder has signed a “suspicion-based” drug testing bill for welfare recipients. Hmm, can we expand this to elected officials and candidates? Because some of them sure act like they’re on drugs.

Chicago’s Starlin Castro was questioned by Dominican Republic police in connection with a shooting at a nightclub this morning, after the Cubs shortstop was questioned earlier this month for ANOTHER nightclub shooting. Who does Castro think he is, an NFL player?

The NFL fined Marshawn Lynch $11,500 for an obscene gesture during last Sunday’s game. Wonder how much they’ll fine the ‪#‎NYJets‬ for their obscene performance all season?

Anyone but me thinking that ‪#‎Marchmadness‬ pools are going to be rather forgone conclusions this year? ‪#‎raceforsecond‬ ‪#‎Kentucky‬

Jim Harbaugh is expected to sign on as the coach at Michigan. So time to start two pools. 1. How long until the Wolverines win a Rose Bowl? 2. What percentage of Harbaugh’s contract will he last in Ann Arbor?

So now we are likely to have Jim Harbaugh at Michigan vs. Urban Meyer at OSU Stand by for ‪#‎Whatsyourdeal‬ – the sequel.

A new study found that marijuana use has increased in Colorado. Did the survey also find that water is wet?

According to ESPN Rex Ryan “expects to be” fired by the Jets. Shouldn’t the correct verb be “hopes to be?”

The Browns suspended WR Josh Gordon for Sunday’s season finale. Thereby increasing the odds that no one outside of Cleveland will be able to name a single active player on the team.

 

Johnny Manziel, who is on IR, had to either be present for the Browns’ workout Saturday or be getting treatment. But he was AWOL. And later in the day, Cleveland gave the QB his first fine. So congrats to all who had Dec 27 in the pool.

North Korea, angry over “The Interview,” now referred to President Obama. Is the country trying to curry favor with Fox News?

 

When will they EVER learn..

September 10, 2009

So Rod Blagojevich got caught offering bribes on FBI wiretaps, and Mike Duvall got caught talking about sex on a open microphone. The next generation may not produce more honest politicians, but maybe at least they will be smarter about electronics?.

For those who haven’t heard:

Republican California Assemblyman Mike Duvall, a married father of two, was caught on tape bragging about having sex with two women lobbyists. He resigned, apologizing for his “inappropriate comments.” Yo, Mike, it’s not your COMMENTS that were inappropriate.

Follow-up from Jerry Perisho – In California, having sex with 2 women will either get you canned or get you elected Governor.


Ellen Degeneres will be the new fourth judge on American Idol, replacing Paula Abdul. I like Ellen, but if Fox is hiring her to make the show more LGBT friendly, are they worried Ryan Seacrest is leaving too?

Virginia gubernatorial candidate Bob McDonnell’s campaign has been struggling because of his recently revealed statements against working women and homosexuals.. In fact, it might be the most self-inflicted damage a Republican has done lately with his pants on.

from Bill Littlejohn:

“Melanie Oudin, who is making a Cinderella run in the U.S. Open, didn’t plan to stay past the first few days in New York, and she was forced to change hotels after 12 days. Guess she also will now longer be using Anna Kournikova’s travel agent”