Posted tagged ‘Nationals jokes’

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page

All out of love.

October 26, 2017

Not sure if #BryceLove has a chance for Heisman. But the way #Stanford played withou him, he sure looks like college MVP.

–

He pronounces it Crist,  But Stanford QB today had lots of fans screaming “Jesus Christ.”

–

#Cubs just dismissed their pitching, hitting & third base coaches after losing in NCLS. Wow, one win after a century and talk about greedy.

–

Joe Torre and MLB admit now that blown call in NLDS game five led to the Cubs scoring 2 runs that should never have scored. And Washington lost 9-8.  Does this mean the Nats should rehire Dusty Baker?

–

Joe Girardi fired as manager of #Yankees because he couldn’t get them far enough in playoffs. #Padres fans are thinking ‘What are playoffs?

–

I’m sure there’s a story here…. United flight 404 from Houston to San Francisco landed at 931am. Pulled into gate at 1107am. No joke.
So not enough passengers paid a gate parking fee?

–

Donald Trump Jr.  tweeted ” To those saying Flake sacrificed his career to take on Trump, just remember it’s not sacrifice when you admit you have 0 chance of winning!”

Hey Jr, thinking big game hunting is not a sport when you have 0 chance of getting shot by an animal.

–

“Just Say No – The Sequel” will work as well with opioid crisis as abstinence-only education works for combating teen pregnancy.

–

Guardian headline is all you need to know about today’s photo op: “Trump declares health emergency over opioids but no new funds to help.”

 

Hope those in GOP excusing George H.W.’s groping as nice old man in wheelchair prepared to make same concession in 20 yrs for Bill Clinton.

–

Billionaires need a tax cut like Fox News needs more blonde women on-air.

–

First ISIS, then healthcare, now the opioid crisis. Trump can fix everything immediately: “This was an idea that I had: if we can teach young people not to take drugs. The fact is, if we can teach young people and people generally not to start, it’s really really easy not to take them.”
Suppose it would be wrong to look forward to the next time anyone in the Trump family needs minor surgery, and asks their doctor for prescription painkillers. #Justsayno

Advertisement

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

The times they are a changin’

October 13, 2016

I missed it, when did “pressure” in baseball become a “high-leverage” situation? #DodgersvsNats #NLDS #MLBPlayoffs

–

Congrats to Bob Dylan. Who knew, for all the Nobel Prize winning literature I had to read in college, I was actually voluntarily listening to it in my dorm room.

 

With Cleveland in the ALCS the talk has begun again but them needing to change their mascot name as being denigrating to Indians.   But while we’re at it, is the SF Giants name somehow indicative of a bias against more vertically-challenged people?

–

The Nationals had said Stephen Strasburg, who missed the NLDS, would not be ready to return if Washington made it into the NLCS. So this is one of the postseasons they shut him down for in 2012?

–

Love #DustyBaker but as #SFGiants fan still get knot in stomach watching him manage late innings bullpen. #DodgersvsNats

–

When Dusty Baker moved to his fifth pitcher in an inning, SFGiants fans were thinking , “we’ve have seen this script before, and it wasn’t a good one.

 

4 1/2 hours  and it didn’t even go extras. Even #RedSox & #Yankees are thinking this is a LONG game. #NLDSGame5 #DodgersvsNats

–

Congrats to  the Dodgers.But maybe Daniel Murphy’s infield fly with the winning run on base is God’s way of saying He/She is okay with the  “gay lifestyle.”

 

Slam magazine rated Carmelo Anthony the 15th-best player in the NBA. Melo said it was “disrespectful.” Maybe to the people ranked 16 through 30?

–

We interrupt the snark for a NICE off-field NFL story: Eagles QB Carson Wentz, 23, who played at North Dakota State, went back during Philly’s bye week to a local bar in Fargo, ran up a $1,000 tab with friends, and left a $500 tip.

–

At this point no way of knowing which recently leaked emails involving Hillary are real and which are fake. But okay folks, how many of us really want our friends, family, coworkers etc to know everything we’ve ever said about them in “private”?

–

Chris Christie has been given a criminal summons to appear at a Bridgegate hearing later this month. Maybe Trump should have chosen the NJ governor as a running mate. Would distract attention now from some of these tapes, etc.

–

Michele Bachmann says that Hillary  Clinton has an “anti-biblical” agenda. As opposed to  Donald Trump “Grope forth and multiply?

–

 

–

Rush Limbaugh, railing about the “Donald Trump sex-talk scandal” “If the left ever senses and smells that there’s no consent in part of the equation, then here come the rape police.”
Uh, yeah… and his point is?

 

Just imagine if one of #BillClinton‘s accusers also said she was treated inappropriately by #DonaldTrump

–

Donald Trump’s response to a People Magazine reporter who said he had attacked her “Take a look, you take a look, look at her, look at her words — you tell me what you think. I don’t think so.”
Okay, time to open the pool on the gender gap in this years election? About 50 points seems a good start….

–

Interesting, got a travel agent survey asking if I am more or less likely to recommend Trump properties since he became a candidate, if my clients are more or less likely to ask for Trump properties, if clients have refused to stay in a Trump property…… and if any of this has changed since the “Access Hollywood” tapes….
If this was campaign was a build-a-brand exercise for the Donald, it’s not working.

–

 

The NY Times, in response to a demand by Trump to retract its groping story or be sued “We decline to do so.” And then “the essence of a libel claim, of course, is the protection of one’s reputation…. Nothing in our article has had the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, has already created for himself.”

Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, holiday jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Geography and other challenges.

November 23, 2015

Ben Carson now says of his comment that New Jersey Arabs were celebrating 9-11, that he “was thinking of the Middle East, not New Jersey.”
Well, yeah, anyone could make that mistake. ‪#‎notreadyforprimetime‬

–

New worldwide travel alert from the U.S State Dept. “U.S. citizens should exercise vigilance when in public places or using transportation. Be aware of immediate surroundings and avoid large crowds or crowed (sic) places.”
What about ravened places? ‪#‎Nevermore‬

–

To be fair, I suppose it does make sense to issue a warning when we know there are dangerous and crazy people seeking power in a country. So who will be the first to issue an alert for the U.S. based on the GOP debates?

–

The Nationals have caused a Twitter uproar by tweeting “Happy Birthday” to Jonathan Papelbon. Who right about now might be the only person in Washington, D.C. less popular than Congress.

–

LSU may fire Les Miles after three consecutive losses have the Tigers 7-3, even though it will mean a multi-million dollar boyout. (Miles currently makes $4.4 million a year.) But it’s okay, I am sure they can make up the money with cutbacks in academics. ‪#‎priorities‬

 

Maybe Trent Baalke and Jed York might be interested in hiring Les Miles as a future 49ers coach. After dealing with SEC alums Miles is used to dealing with unrealistic expectations, and after dealing with LSU players, he’s familiar with semi-pro talent.

–

Reportedly Robinson Cano wants to be traded because he is unhappy in Seattle after signing a $240 million contract in 2014, “I feel so sorry for him” said NOBODY.

–

A USF professor says that those odd FB requests from random people all over the world might be potential internet hackers or identity thieves. Bummer, there goes my chance to be invited to a Nigerian royal wedding.

–

Oops.American Airlines accidentally let a planeload of people arriving from Cancun exit JFK Airport without having their passports checked and going through customs. Providing again that sometimes terrorists are no match for good old-fashioned stupidity.

–

Washington DE Jason Hatcher thinks calls might be going against his team because of their “Redskins” nickname. Really? But, I can understand why Hatcher’s upset – had a few calls gone the other way Sunday Washington might have only lost by 2-3 touchdowns.

–

Now that the Packers solidly beat the Minnesota Vikings, maybe Green Bay fans will stop blaming Olivia Munn. Now they can just be mad at Aaron Rodgers for having all that talent, money AND an actress girlfriend.

 

Mike Tiroco after ‪#‎MNF‬ about the Patriots “that’s why they’re World Champions.” Uh, “World Champions”? Unlike the NBA, NHL and MLB, the NFL doesn’t even have a team in Canada.

Categories: travel jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Choked up?

September 27, 2015

Hundreds of thousands people apparently showed up today in Philadelphia to see the Pope. It being Philly, you have to wonder how many who showed up to see Francis actually booed him.

–

Of course, the Pope is not a stupid man. He picked a time of year to visit Philadelphia when there was zero chance of snowballs.

–

So ‪#‎Papelbon‬ is looking like he’s through with the ‪#‎Nationals‬. Is the closer trying to earn a tryout with the ‪#‎Redskins‬ defense?

–

Although I suppose it could be said that by putting his hands on Harper’s neck,  Papelbon was just trying to do to Bryce what the Nats have done on the field since he arrived.

–

Colts‬ fans hoped their team would “Suck for Luck.” Time for ‪#‎49ers‬ fans to hope team will “Slack off for Goff? ‪

 –
Every time I hear Hillary Clinton talk about the email issues, just wonder why she didn’t come out and say “Look, you really think I understood any of this stuff at first? When it comes to computers my basic reaction has been ‘Does it turn on, can I log in?”
Thinking she’d have gotten a lot more sympathy from those of us whose kids roll their eyes at our ineptitude with technology. And from the younger generation who laughs at their parents.
–
Barry Zito, 37, and Tim Hudson, 40, were both given ovations in their short starts yesterday. “Well deserved for two nice young men” said Jamie Moyer.
–
Mark Zuckerberg at the UN said that expanding internet access to global communities could help ‘lift them out of poverty.” Possibly, although here in the U.S. internet access can keep people too busy playing games to find a job.
–
Congress is going to be a different place without John Boehner in November. For starters, the Kleenex consumption in the House will go way down ‪#‎nomoretears‬
–
A poll of Republicans at the Voting Values Summit said they preferred a Ted Cruz-Ben Carson ticket in 2016. Funny enough, a lot of Democrats would be happy if the GOP ran that ticket too.

–

So with the latest college football rankings, the highest ranked 1 loss team (at #13) is Alabama. “I’m shocked,” said nobody

–

Ben Carson now says that many immigrants sneaking across the Mexico border “are hardened criminals’’ not from Latin America but from Iraq, Somalia and Russia. USA Today, however, reports that DHS said in 2013, nearly 93% caught at the border came from Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras or El Salvador.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I always thought you needed math to get into med school.

–

#‎SFGiants‬ now have about a .01% chance of making the post season this year. So approximately the same chance as the ‪#‎SF49ers‬

–

Ted Cruz today made a rousing speech to a conservative group promising to end the “persecution of religious liberty.” Uh, Senator Cruz, to paraphrase Inigo Montoya “I do not think this phrase means what you think it means.”

–

From T.C.   “Martin Shkreli, the CEO of a pharmaceutical firm raised the price of a prescription drug from $13.50 to $750. In related news, Whole Foods said they may be interested in hiring him.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Qualified?

September 12, 2015

Apparently Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai has to take SATs before she applies to U.S. colleges. Well, duh, not like Malala is something important like a football or basketball player.

–

Donald Trump is unhappy about Ben Carson questioning his “fear of the Lord,” and said “you don’t hit a person on faith.” Uh, okay, would the Donald like to tell that to his supporters? A recent PPP poll found 66% of respondents who support Trump believe that Obama is Muslim.

–

It’s been since 1993 since a Canadian team won the NHL Stanley Cup. And since a Canadian team won the World Series. Who’d a thunk that the most likely drought to be over soon would be in baseball? ‪#‎BlueJays‬

–

There were chants of USA! USA! USA! during game one of the Yankee-Blue Jays doubleheader at Yankee Stadium. Maybe Toronto’s sweep was karma’s way of saying “Stay classy, New York.”

–

Sadly fitting. Nationals reliever Drew Storen ended his season by breaking his thumb slamming his locker in frustration after a loss Wednesday. Washington season-ticket holders have to wish they had the same option.

–

Wait a minute. Jacksonville State isn’t even in Florida but in Alabama? This geography stuff is so confusing. ‪#‎JaxState‬ ‪#‎Auburn‬

–

Apparently Aldon Smith turned down more money from other teams to stay in the SF Bay Area with the Raiders. Because Smith is already on a first name basis with most of the local police?

–

Do they award Darwin awards to businesses? If so, Zales Jewelers just locked up the award for the year. With a 9/11 sale. No joke. And they even instead of “Remember, Rebuild, Renew” used “Renew, Reset, Restyle” on their brochures. ‪ #‎youreallycannotmakethisstuffup‬

–

Now departed United Airlines CEO Jeff Smisek has a golden parachute of that could top $20 million, including $5 million in cash. Along with free first class travel for life on United. Too late to start a petition to United to demand he fly coach?

Can we at least hope all flight attendants recognize him and give Smisek the fine service he so richly deserves?

–

A Catholic woman wanted Office Depot to print 500 copies of an anti-abortion flier that talked about the “evil that has been exposed in Planned Parenthood and in the entire abortion industry.” They refused and invited her to use the self-serve copy machines.
Now she’s claiming religious discrimination. Once again, it’s only discrimination when they disagree with YOUR religion

–

Stanford-UCF started at 730p Pacific Time. 1030pm Eastern. Forget the fact that the Golden Knights were probably tired, we’re talking University of Central FLORIDA. Figure most of the UCF alums were in bed by kick off.

–

Apparently Jason Pierre-Paul’s injury in a fireworks accident is worse than originally thought. The NY Giants’ DE lost not only his right index finger, but also fractured his thumb, needed skin grafts and is missing part of another finger. And he may be out for the entire season, or more. So not only ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬, you can’t always surgically repair it either.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Orange fever.

October 5, 2014

Game time for Giants vs. Nationals is 2:07p. So SF fans won’t have to get that sudden debilitating mystery illness at work Monday until about noon.

 

So the AL representative in ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ will be either the  Kansas City ‪#‎Royals‬ or the Baltimore ‪#‎Orioles‬. And Fox executives just threw up.

–

 

Still can’t get over all those empty seats in Nationals Park Saturday night in extra innings. It was if we were watching a Nationals game and an Expos game broke out.

–

(And okay, so it was almost midnight and getting colder.  As a veteran of the 7 plus hour Giants-Dodgers twilight doubleheader in July 1988, however, I have cred on this issue.  Scott Garrelts lost BOTH games, the second about 130a.)

–

 

On the other hand, right about now all those ‪#‎49ers‬ fans who complained about how cold it was at ‪#‎CandlestickPark‬ thinking “I take it back.” ‪#‎LevisStadium‬

–

The sunny-side of the stadium was largely empty in the second half of today’s 49ers-Chiefs game. On a brighter note, maybe the 49ers can rent out the place on weekdays as the world’s largest tanning booth?

–

Randy Moss now says of playing under Jim Harbaugh with the 49ers: “He treated us men like we were still college kids at Stanford.” Does Moss mean Harbaugh overestimated most of the team’s maturity level?

 

Saw today’s new poll of the best 25 college teams and it inexplicably left off the ‪#‎NYJets‬

–

Although  main thought watching week 5 in the ‪#‎NFL‬. This league has a lot of mediocre football teams.

–

So #11 Oregon, who beat #8 MSU by 18, is ranked below the Spartans in today’s coaches poll, and an undefeated #12 TCU is ranked below the #9 Oklahoma team they beat. Well, no one ever suggested anyone connected with college football is good with math.

–

Paul Revere, founder of Paul Revere and the Raiders, has passed away at the age of 76. Please can someone get a comment from Sarah Palin on his death?

–

Lots of rumors that this is Jim Harbaugh’s last year with the 49ers. This morning Jed York tweeted “Jim is my coach. We are trying to win a SB, not a personality or popularity contest. Any more questions?” Well, at least York didn’t say he was behind Harbaugh 1000%.

–

Who ever thought ‪#‎Jets‬ fans would be looking back longingly to the glory days of ‪#‎MarkSanchez‬ and ‪#‎TimTebow‬?

–

 

More “Why there is no satire.” Todd Kincannon, former executive director of the South Carolina GOP tweeted yesterday. “People with Ebola in the US need to be humanely put down immediately.” And followed it with “The protocol for a positive Ebola test should be immediate humane execution and sanitization of the whole area. That will save lives.” And yes, he’s “pro-life.”

–

Joint joke with my friend Alex  Kaseberg.  “What is with all the long, bushy beards on baseball players. Have not seen this many beards since Tom Cruise was auditioning potential future wives.”

 

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

Let’s play two.

October 5, 2014

18 innings. Wonder how this SFGiants Washington Nationals game would have had to go until we got to penalty kicks?

 

 

After Belt’s home run in the 18th, figured the game had gone on so long FOX announcers might actually say nice things about San Francisco Giants in hopes of just getting to go home. ‪#‎SFvsWAS‬

–

The game did only end at midnight thought, and lots of ‪#‎Nationals‬ fans had already left.  Where do they think they were? Chavez Ravine? ‪#‎SFGiants‬

–

Until tonight ‪#‎SFGiants‬ pitcher Yusmeiro Petit managed to almost throw a perfect game against the Mets (8 2/3 innings), and broke the MLB record of 46 straight batters retired. But no one nationally had heard of him. Until tonight.

–

Nice ‪#‎Friendsarewaiting‬ Budweiser commercial about the guy who stays with friends instead of driving home drunk. But it doesn’t show the dog pee somewhere all over the floor….

 

Despite a tough loss for the Cardinal, it was 40 degrees and rainy in South Bend, and 90 degrees and sunny in Palo Alto ‪#‎Stanford‬ ‪#‎NotreDame‬

–

–

Bobby Jindal said yesterday that President Obama should stop all air traffic from countries with Ebola. So what are the Louisiana Governor’s plans for closing his state’s border with Texas?

–

Two passengers who were vomiting on the plane caused an entire United flight from Brussels to Newark to be quarantined for several hours on arrival. If vomit is enough to spark Ebola fears these days, there are going to be a lot of delays for folks flying home from Las Vegas.

 

–

Lindsay Graham now says he “may just jump in” to the 2016 Presidential race. And Hillary Clinton is thinking this is almost as good news as having a grandchild.

–

So Derek Jeter is having a big party on Long Island this weekend, which is “trending” because of reports that it’s a secret wedding. Sigh. Well, to be fair, Jeter has been out of the headlines for almost a whole week.

 

 

The SF Giants and Washington Nationals played two games and scored only three runs. But now Cal and WSU are playing an arena football game.

 

 

#‎Stanford‬ can’t score, ‪#‎Cal‬ can’t play defense. This year’s “Big Game” will be subtitled “Something’s gotta give.”

–

Cal wins 60-59 on a missed field goal despite giving up over 800 yards.    So was the strategy to wear out Washington State’s kicker with all those PATs?

–

So who figured the center of the college football world would now be Mississippi?

–

From Bill Littlejohn.  The U.S. Postal Service is set to unveil new Wilt Chamberlain commemorative stamps—-there are slated to be special notches on the first 20,000 of them”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

2012 – were the Mayans right?

September 19, 2012

Leaving politics aside, is this ESPN headline a sign of the apocalypse? “Nationals inch closer to clinching postseason spot.”

–

Mitt Romney says that “Letterman hates me because I’ve been on Leno more than him. Letterman’s response “I don’t hate Mitt.” Well of course, how can you hate someone who gives you so much material?

–

The Cincinnati Reds magic number is down to three. Of course for many Ohioans, the real magic number is 47. The number of days until they don’t have to see election ads on television 24/7.

–

PED’s, brain injuries, arrests…. good to know that the NFL is on top of the important things – like fining the 49ers’ Alex Smith $15,000 for wearing an SF Giants cap to a post-game news conference. (Really. Although they later did change the fine to a warning.)

—

Meanwhile this from comedy writer friend Torben Rolfsen, after Falcons RB Michael Turner was charged with DUI just hours after Monday night’s win: “He must have been really out of it, because he asked if a replacement official could administer the sobriety test.”

–

The Big East, with teams ranging from Rutgers to San Diego State, is considering adding a 14th team. Wonder if Hawaii is available?

(my friend Tony L. suggests “Singapore. Then they can be the “Big Far East.”)

–

Todd Akin’s campaign site today urged his female supporters to sign a pledge saying “I’m a women, and I support Todd.” (I guess spelling is another of those wacky liberal concepts.)

–

Bumpersticker idea for the day:     “One of the 53%. And still voting for Obama.”

–

Chick-Fil-A has announced they will stop giving money to anti-gay groups. This either means the chain has decided to embrace tolerance, or their recent sales are down.

–

Lindsay Lohan has been charged with leaving the scene of an accident after allegedly hitting a pedestrian at 1230a in Manhattan last night. It’s all part of America’s celebrity “50 strikes and you’re out” program.

–

Interesting, while Mitt’s trying to demonize the 47%, a Seattle Times article talks about the biggest employer in town (no, not Microsoft) – Boeing. In 2011, for the fourth straight year, the company had no net income-tax, despite $5.1 billion in profits.

–

Paul Ryan’s said Mitt Romney’s comments on the 47% were “obviously inarticulate.”   How come, and this is a bipartisan question, politicians always say their own stupid comments were just badly phrased but their opponents’ mistakes reveal their true feelings?.

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: 3 Comments

Dinosaurs Alive.

September 27, 2009

Stunners in the NFL: Brett Favre throws a last second touchdown pass for a Vikings win over the 49ers, and the Lions finally get a win, against the Redskins. In related news, Washington has just offered an immediate quarterback contract to Joe Theismann.

–
Jim Riggleman, the interim manager of the 52-102 Washington Nationals said “We’re not the worst team in baseball.” He also predicted Barack Obama would someday be nominated to the Pro Bowlers Hall of Fame.

–

How bad is it in our nation’s capital? The Nationals have the worst record in baseball, the Redskins just lost to the Lions, and the Wizards had one of the worst records, again, in the NBA last season. At this point the only way Washington gets a winning team in town is when Obama invites one to the White House.

–
–
A man who snuck into the grizzly bear exhibit at San Francisco Zoo was somehow was rescued without any harm to him, or the grizzlies. Just as well the zoo got him out, any savings in the cost of feeding the bears this week would have been offset by the inevitable lawsuits.

–

The CBS 5 Sunday night news referred to the man’s climbing into the bear enclosure as “A stunt that defied logic.” As opposed to climbing into a bear enclosure using logic?

–
Today’s new Coaches Top 25 College Football poll has Cal ranked 19th, Oregon 25th. (Oregon just beat Cal 42-3.) Who’s overseeing this poll – President John McCain?
–

The remake of the musicial “Fame” had a disappointing opening weekend at the box office. MGM/UA estimated the audience was almost 80 percent female. But the studio was cheered by the positive audience reviews from both straight men.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

In case Sarah Palin’s people are reading this blog….

June 16, 2009

I am happy to apologize for the next joke. Hey, it should boost my ratings.

David Letterman has apologized for the “bad joke” he made about Sarah Palin’s daughter. Wonder how long it will take John McCain to apologize for the bad joke he made in putting Governor Palin a potential heartbeat away from the presidency?

–

And while Letterman apologized to Palin for the “knocked-up” joke, how about another apology to all those people out there who are struggling with apparent infertility – like Manny Ramirez?

–

The 16-45  Nationals are reportedly planning to fire their manager Manny Acta.  Yep, with a record that bad in Washington you really can’t expect to keep your job. Unless you get re-elected.

–

Credit for finding this tidbit goes to  Zev Karlin-Neumann.  It’s so good to know that when the country is facing crises on all fronts, that our top legislative body is focused on the important things.

Maine Republican Senator Olympia Snowe used her time on the Senate floor  “to commend Barkwheats Dog Biscuits,” which are made with “ginger and parsley” to get rid of “doggy breath.” 

No word on if conservative Republicans threatened to filibuster the commendation.

–

The city of Los Angeles is trying to raise $900.000 to throw a victory parade for the Lakers after they won the NBA championship.  Well, that’s one budget expense they won’t have to worry about anytime soon in New York.

–

–

Michael Phelps has a new book out titled “How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals.”  A somewhat nonsensical title.  Wonder if the sequel will be “How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bong??”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Michelle and Barack’s Date Night

June 1, 2009

President Obama has been criticized for taking his wife to New York City for a dinner and Broadway show.  But come on,  Barack didn’t do anything ridiculously extravgant, like taking Michelle to a Yankees game.

 

Randy Johnson will be going for his 300th win when he takes the mound against the Washington Nationals.  Which is an incredible accomplishment.  300 wins.. as of today that’s three more than the Nationals.   (True, on June 1 in their fifth year, Washington only has 297 wins.) 

–

Jamie Moyer, 46, just got his 250th win.  So means he too could end up with 300 wins,  maybe if he only pitches until 50.  Which curiously enough is now the speed of his fastball.

–

The Octomom has signed a contract for a reality show.    Which might be the first time Nayda Sulelman and reality have been used in the same sentence.

–

The Octomom has signed a contract  for a reality show.   But isn’t Nadya Suleman hosting a reality show like George W. Bush hosting “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?”

–

Some worry that President Obama’s Supreme Court pick Sonia Sotomayor is such a champion of the underdog, that she will never be able to make a decision in favor of the rich and privileged.   How can they worry?  The woman is a Yankees fan.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Cheaters and other jokes

May 27, 2009

The University of Memphis is under investigation for “major” rule violations, including “knowing fraudulence or misconduct” on the SAT exam by a player on their 2007-2008, team.  Apparently the NCAA became really suspicious when the unnamed player involved said  “What’s an SAT?”

–

Manny Ramirez is rehabbing during his 50 game suspension with a minor league team.  In the best interests of baseball, some are asking that the rehab be with the Nationals.

–

Randy Johnson got his 299th win on Wednesday night.   He will go for win 300 next Wednesday.  Which means another  potential milestone  with  an asterisk  – next Wednesday the Giants are playing the Nationals.

–

From the very funny Alex Kaseberg.  Very tacky.  Wish I had written it:

The latest rumor is that Alex Rodriguez was making out in a New York club with Kate Hudson. It looks like A-Rod is trying to pull a Capt “Sully” Sullenberger: get lucky and land on the Hudson.

–

The Blue Jays lost their ninth game in a row.  Which is making this one of the worst months of May ever in Toronto.   Although to be fair, the Maple Leafs seldom play in May.

–

Wednesday night was the season premier of  “Wipeout.”    And not just the Nuggets’ fourth quarter in Los Angeles.

–

First he talked about how he and Bristol basically lived together at her mother Sarah’s  house.  Now Levi Johnston has said in an interview that Bristol Palin’s father, Todd, repeatedly offered her a car if she would break up with him.   Proving once again, if you are going to throw someone under the bus, you had better have puncture-proof tires.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Natinals

April 22, 2009

Two Washington players,  Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman, ended up wearing jerseys with the team’s name shown as ‘Natinals’ last week.

Former President George W. Bush saw the jerseys and  story and said “So what did they do, pick the wrong color or something?”

–

The uniform company, Majestic Athletic, apologized and took full responsibility. saying they “regret any embarrassment for the Nationals organization, players and fans.”  

Which means now the embarrassment for the Nats will just have to revert to their play on the field.

 

–

It would have been more appropriate, given the Nationals’ lousy start, that the uniforms be spelled ASHINGTON.    No  “W.”

–

How much of a launching pad is the new Yankee Stadium?  Rumor has it they just received a sponsorship application from NASA.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment