Posted tagged ‘replacement referee jokes’

Any given away Sunday.

September 23, 2012

Okay, who had this after NFL week 3?. Ben Rothlisberger, Drew Brees, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are all on teams with losing records.

 

Watching today’s 49ers-Vikings game made me glad we don’t have replacement umps in baseball: “So it’s one, two, three, four, five strikes you’re out….”

 

(For anyone who didn’t see, the referees allowed 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh to challenge a play after his third time out, wrongly decided the challenge and then allowed him to all another one.  Might answer the question “whatever happened to Chris Webber?)

Hard to know what’s been uglier in some of Sunday’s NFL games- the officiating or the play on the field?

Well for those fearing that the Washington Nationals winning their division was a sign of the apocalypse, the Redskins appear to be their usual awful selves.

After SF Giants clinched division title last night, SF 49ers decided today was THEIR day to have fans on their feet screaming.

Mitt Romney yesterday warned guests at a fundraiser that Obama could have us “on a pathway to become California.” The fundraiser was in San Diego.

RNC chair Reince Preibus when asked about GOP plans for the economy – “I mean, we’ve got specifics coming out of our eyeballs.” So their plans include a Halloween movie?

NY Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said the man who jumped into the Bronx Zoo’s tiger den wanting to be “one with the tiger,” was not drunk or insane. Well, one out of two, maybe.

Kevin McClatchy, the former owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates, said in an interview with The NY Times that he is gay. Would be nice some day if the nationwide reaction was simply “so?”

#2 LSU barely defeated Auburn 12-10 Saturday. Setting the Tigers up for a climactic loss to Alabama  November 3, and another repeat matchup in the BCS championship.

Mitt Romney on fundraising: “I’d far rather be spending my time out in the key swing states campaigning, door-to-door if necessary….but fundraising is a part of politics when your opponent decides not to live by the federal spending limits.” Yep, once again, time to blame Obama.

A Northern California elementary school principal was arrested a charged with selling methamphetamine. I think anyway. Is this a news story or an episode of Breaking Bad?

 

More on Ann Romney’s “This is hard” quote.   It also included  “it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country.
Where’s Clint Eastwood to ask the question  “Do you feel lucky, punks?”)

 

2012 – were the Mayans right?

September 19, 2012

Leaving politics aside, is this ESPN headline a sign of the apocalypse? “Nationals inch closer to clinching postseason spot.”

Mitt Romney says that “Letterman hates me because I’ve been on Leno more than him. Letterman’s response “I don’t hate Mitt.” Well of course, how can you hate someone who gives you so much material?

The Cincinnati Reds magic number is down to three. Of course for many Ohioans, the real magic number is 47. The number of days until they don’t have to see election ads on television 24/7.

PED’s, brain injuries, arrests…. good to know that the NFL is on top of the important things – like fining the 49ers’ Alex Smith $15,000 for wearing an SF Giants cap to a post-game news conference. (Really. Although they later did change the fine to a warning.)

Meanwhile this from comedy writer friend Torben Rolfsen, after Falcons RB Michael Turner was charged with DUI just hours after Monday night’s win: “He must have been really out of it, because he asked if a replacement official could administer the sobriety test.”

The Big East, with teams ranging from Rutgers to San Diego State, is considering adding a 14th team. Wonder if Hawaii is available?

(my friend Tony L. suggests “Singapore. Then they can be the “Big Far East.”)

Todd Akin’s campaign site today urged his female supporters to sign a pledge saying “I’m a women, and I support Todd.” (I guess spelling is another of those wacky liberal concepts.)

Bumpersticker idea for the day:     “One of the 53%. And still voting for Obama.”

Chick-Fil-A has announced they will stop giving money to anti-gay groups. This either means the chain has decided to embrace tolerance, or their recent sales are down.

Lindsay Lohan has been charged with leaving the scene of an accident after allegedly hitting a pedestrian at 1230a in Manhattan last night. It’s all part of America’s celebrity “50 strikes and you’re out” program.

Interesting, while Mitt’s trying to demonize the 47%, a Seattle Times article talks about the biggest employer in town (no, not Microsoft) – Boeing. In 2011, for the fourth straight year, the company had no net income-tax, despite $5.1 billion in profits.

Paul Ryan’s said Mitt Romney’s comments on the 47% were “obviously inarticulate.”   How come, and this is a bipartisan question, politicians always say their own stupid comments were just badly phrased but their opponents’ mistakes reveal their true feelings?.

47%

September 19, 2012

So it’s all about the Romney video.   But really, there’s hasn’t been so much talk about 47% since, well, last Thursday and Jay Cutler’s completion rate.

(And btw, since there are no ads, no taxes are paid from the writing of this blog.)

 

Mitt Romney just dissed Americans who see themselves as “victims.” So much for that all important Cubs’  fan vote.

 

SF Giants are in great shape. But for all those making playoff plans, I give you: the 2011 Atlanta Braves – 8 1⁄2-game lead wild card lead Sept 1. 2011 Boston Red Sox – 9-game wild card lead on Sept 3. Some chickens are better left uncounted.

Right about now would be a good time for Mitt Romney to prove to the world that he has always paid U.S income tax. If he has always paid U.S. income tax……

Just wondering, if Tampa Bay’s attempt to rush the NY Giants’ huddle during their end of game kneel-down had resulted in a fumble, how many teams would try it next week?

The San Jose Spartans received one 25th place vote in this week’s USA Today-Coaches college football poll. Well, they did come closer to beating Stanford than USC.

NFL teams are furious with the replacement refs. They can’t wait to get back to being furious with the regular officials.

The New York Jets lwere scoreless in the last 40 minutes of their loss to the Steelers, Peyton Manning threw three interceptions in a quarter in a loss to the Falcons. Wonder whose fans were screaming louder for Tim Tebow?

USC Matt Barkley said today he’s glad coach Lane Kiffin publicly critiqued his play last weekend against Stanford. Is this the college football equivalent of “Stockholm Syndrome?”

Kate Middleton may be getting the international headlines, but Mitt Romney also is learning – even when you think you have privacy, don’t expose yourself.

 

The world is pretty divided on this Kate Middleton topless picture scandal. Some women think the media went too far, some think Kate should get over it and keep her top on in future, and men just want to see similar pictures of Pippa.

Some are now talking Ryan Braun for the NL MVP if the Brewers make the playoffs. If so, got to love it, the All-Star MVP busted for PEDs and the potential repeat MVP winner playing only because his suspension was overturned on a technicality. Way to clean up the game, Bud Selig.

PC overload time. A Rhode Island school district banned father-daughter dances and mother-son ballgames on gender discrimination charges. Who do they think they are – San Francisco?