And that’s the way it is. Well, kinda, sorta….

Posted February 7, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: , , , , , ,

Note to Brian Williams. Forrest Gump was a fantasy movie, not a mission statement.

 

Now that ‪#‎BrianWilliams‬ has stepped down most the trusted newscaster in America might well be ‪#‎JonStewart‬

 

A serious thought about Brian Williams, as Dr. Gregory House once said, “Everybody lies.” And most parents have a version of the “walking to school three miles in the snow, uphill both ways” story for their kids. But when your entire career is based on trustworthiness, thinking he should have stepped down maybe less for the lie, than his stupidity in thinking that he was always going to get away with it.

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Bruce Jenner was involved in a multi-vehicle accident in Southern California. And of course it would be inappropriate for anyone to make women driver jokes.

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Browns QB Brian Hoyer said today that the NFL’s investigation of text-messages from the Cleveland front office could affect his thinking if he becomes a free agent. Well, or at least it sounds classier than saying “I don’t want to work for any team that thought it was a good idea to draft Johnny Train Wreck.”

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A GOP congressman from Maine is being criticized by many conservatives for his vote this week against a proposal to repeal Obamacare. But Bruce Poliquin says that while he is against the ACA, he thinks a replacement plan should be ready first, and besides, the House has already voted against it many times. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

Is this guy trying to be drummed out of the Republican party for excessive common sense?

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Chevrolet has decided that per Tom Brady’s wishes, they will give the truck he won as Super Bowl MVP directly to Malcolm Butler instead. The only thing, instead of Brady, the rookie will now have to pay the income taxes on the $35,000 the company says the Chevy Colorado is worth. You’d think they would have at least tried to underinflate the truck’s value.

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San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone wants to put morals clauses in Catholic school teacher contracts, whereby they could be punished or dismissed for (his quote) “escorting a woman into an abortion clinic, handing out contraception to students, or for being a member of a white supremacist group.” Right, because whatever your beliefs, those three things are SO equivalent.

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But hey, pedophilia?  Crickets.  Everything that is not forbidden…

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A Florida woman just gave birth to a 14 pound baby boy. FSU immediately offered the child a football scholarship.

 

Increasingly the ‪#‎Knicks‬ at Madison Square Garden are less a road game for most ‪#‎NBA‬ teams than an expense paid vacation to New York

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New commissioner Rob Manfred says MLB will start awarding the All-Star games by a Super Bowl-type bidding process. And the Yankees and Dodgers are thinking, “Great, can we just doing the World Series the same way?”

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Didn’t see it coming.

Posted February 7, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

After a disappointing season, the Tennessee Titans released OT Michael Oher. Hope he wasn’t blindsided by the news.

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Aaron Hernandez’s lawyer in his murder trial was jokingly asked a state police trooper if he had “training in football deflation devices.” Sounds like the former Patriot actually found a lawyer as dumb as he is.

 

The NFL fined 4 players from $8268 to $10,000 for their roles in the brawl at the end of the Super Bowl. Good to see the league has its priorities in order. Hitting people is almost as bad as wearing the wrong brand of clothing.

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NY Yankees officials says they have now agreed to a sit-down meeting with A-Rod. Ah yes, an early sign that spring is approaching. The circus is coming to town.

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For all those who think they might be the most insane baseball fans they know, San Francisco has finally gotten their first storm of 2015. Serious rain and wind. But some hardcore folks are already camping outside AT&T Park for tomorrow morning’s SF Giants “FanFest.”

 

Open note to Chris Paul, who has always seemed like an enlightened and decent guy, and I am sure didn’t meant to start a firestorm by criticizing one of the two NBA’s female refs: (“We try to get the ball out fast every time down the court, and when we did that, she said, ‘Uh-uh.’ I said, ‘Why, uh-uh?’ And she gave me a tech. That’s ridiculous. If that’s the case, this might not be for her.” )

It’s time for a simple statement, “I was criticizing an official because I didn’t like the calls. I thought and think they were wrong. It had NOTHING to do with her gender. I fully support the NBA’s hiring of female officials. Now let’s move on.”

 

 

 

In Northern California television news stations have put their drought stories on hold for a few days to be replaced by “Stormwatch.”

 

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Occasional disclaimer. If you’ve found my blog because of the sports jokes,   I do jokes about both sports and politics. And I realize that half the country won’t agree with my views.  Though I like to consider myself a moderate, and try to pick on both sides, even  if I pick on one side more than others….  (more material)  In any case, if  you don’t like the political jokes, please feel free to ignore. Or comment. Even criticize n comments.. Just please keep it civil.

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Former Miss. GOP state Sen Tim Johnson announced yesterday he is switching parties. “Why join the Democratic Party and run for lieutenant governor? I’ll tell you: We are all Mississippians first. Elected officials should be in the business of helping all Mississippians, not picking out who to hurt.

“The Republican Party leaders’ actions against supporting Medicaid expansion and threatening our local hospitals was the final, deciding factor for me.”

This is Mississippi, folks. Will Johnson’s campaign mascot be a flying pig?.

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Note to GOP men: On the subject of rape, STFU.

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Horrible indeed. After being made to watch his friends burned alive, he recanted his religion in writing. When he later felt ashamed, and publicly denied the conversion, he was himself publicly burned alive, but put his right hand, which had written the recantation, first into the flame, saying, “this hand has offended.”

Another Mideast horror story? Nope, Archbishop Thomas Cranmer. And these burnings all done by order of Queen Mary 1 of England, 1555-56

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Mistakes were made, but maybe by me?

Posted February 5, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Maybe we should cut Brian Williams some slack. After all, he still may be dealing with PTSD from his near drowning as a young man on the Titanic.

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Anyone but me want to see ‪#‎LanceArmstrong‬ vs. ‪#‎BrianWilliams‬ in a rousing game of Liar’s Dice?

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Putting their names to paper on signing day is a big deal for top high school football recruits. For many of them it is the only time in their college careers they will actually have to write.

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Kyle Kendrick just signed a $5.5 million contract with the Rockies. Last year he had a 10-13 record with a 4.61 ERA with the Phillies. Well, guess Colorado figures Kendrick will perform better in a pitcher’s park?

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Tiger Woods has withdrawn from the PGA Tour’s Farmers Insurance Open, leaving midway through the first round with a back injury. So over at ESPN, they no longer have to worry this weekend about covering golf.

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Sarah Palin has apparently accepted an invitation to appear on “Saturday Night Live”‘s 40th anniversary special Feb 16.. Well, kudos to Sarah for being a good sport. But wonder if she or SNL are trying harder to prove they are still relevant?

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So many critics of Obamacare worried about government involvement in healthcare resulting in serious privacy breaches.  This Anthem story is probably not what they mean when they said the private sector could do it better.

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In Seattle, a medical marijuana dispensary has opened a vending machine. Wonder if buyer can get their Doritos from the same machine?

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Radio Shack has filed for bankruptcy and said they will sell stores. Many Americans under 40 are thinking “What’s Radio Shack?” Still younger Americans are thinking “What’s a Radio?”

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So court papers say Conrad Hilton Jr. did not call British Airways flight attendants “f***ing peasants.” That’s what he called the other passengers. But he did accuse the attendants of “taking the peasants’ side” and bragged that he was already banned by other airlines. Well, whatever happens in the trial I think this young man can add another airline to that list.

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During a House Rules Committee argument Monday, Congressman Alcee Hastings referred to Texas as a “crazy state.” Well, Hastings should know. He’s from Florida.

 

 

 

New MLB commissioner Rob Manfred says that reinstating Pete Rose is a “conversation I’m willing to have.” This after Bud Selig had said Pete would only get back into a big-league ballpark “over my dead body.” So does this mean Selig has some terminal illness?

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That’s my story, and I’m trying not to stick to it.

Posted February 4, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Wow. NBC News anchor Brian Williams admitted today that his 2003 story of being shot down in a military helicopter down by enemy fire in Iraq was false, but “I don’t know what screwed up in my mind that caused me to conflate one aircraft with another… I feel terrible about making this mistake.” “Conflate one aircraft with another?” I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

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Conrad Hilton Jr, 20, appeared in court and was ordered to surrender his passport during a court appearance over a meltdown on a flight from London to LA last year which including him calling flight attendants ‘f***ing peasants.” Who knew that big sister Paris would turn out to be the class of that family.’

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So on the highways in the greater Seattle area, will all “No passing lanes” be renamed in honor of Pete Carroll?”

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So the Super Bowl was only a few days ago, and already we’ve had 3 current NFL players arrested. Letroy Guion, D’Qwell Jackson, and Joseph Randle. Looking good for all those who bet the “over” in Vegas.

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Indanapolis Colts LB D’Qwell Jackson has been arrested and charged with assault for hitting a pizza deliveryman over an argument about a parking space. Isn’t it time for the NFL to welcome their new sponsor, Uber?

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In the “cheer up, things could be worse” airline division, I give you China’s Spring Airlines, which is trying to get approval for selling  discount tickets to passengers willing to stand. No joke.

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Yasiel Puig just said that the Los Angeles Dodgers real rivals are not the SF Giants, but the St. Louis Cardinals. That ought to make Puig even more popular when the Dodgers visit AT&T Park in April.

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From Alex Kaseberg.  “The Chicago Cubs’ renovation of Wrigley Field has caused a huge neighborhood rat infestation. The good news? They’re Cubs rats, so they’ll be gone by October.”

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Because of a case involving an HIV-positive man who didn’t disclose his condition to his partner, the Florida Supreme Court will now consider the definition of “sexual intercourse.” Though presumably they turned down a request to testify on the subject from Bill Clinton.

 

Anthem, the second largest health insurer in the US, said today its database has been hacked, potentially exposing personal information about 80 million customers. Anthem said that the breach exposed “names, birthdays, social security numbers, street AND email addresses, plus employment information, including income data,” But no credit card information was exposed. Well, okay, as long as the hackers didn’t get anything important. ‪#‎facepalm‬

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Liestrong

Posted February 3, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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Class, nothing but class. Police in Aspen cited Lance Armstrong for failing to report an accident and speeding last month, after he allegedly hit two parked cars after a party, and got his girlfriend to say she was driving to avoid “a national story.” ‪#‎Liestrong‬

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You have to wonder how Armstrong thought he would get away with it.  Although if this story really starts going viral, Lance may start getting bouquets, from Pete Carroll and the Seahawks.

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Hear that Pete Carroll was supposed to throw out the first pitch at a Mariners game. But fans are asking Seattle management if Marshawn Lynch can just run the ball in instead.

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Tom Brady says he plans to give the Chevy Colorado he won as Super Bowl MVP to Malcolm Butler. A nice gesture. Though before Butler drives the truck he might want to check the pressure in the tires.

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From Marc Ragovin. Who hears Pete Carroll will be starring in a new movie – “The Wrongest Yard.”

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A truck carrying frozen chicken collided with a truck carrying bees near Palm Springs Tuesday and both vehicles caught fire. Both drivers escaped, but beware of imminent sales featuring heavily discounted honey barbequed chicken.

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Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), arguing against “regulatory burdens,” this week said that restaurants should be able to “opt out” of health department regulations that require employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom. Well, so much for dinner parties at HIS house

To be fair, the Senator did say they should then post a sign saying they didn’t have the rule and then the marketplace would take care of it. Okay, then, do we need a government regulation to REQUIRE such restaurants to put up a sign?

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Rep. John Boehner: “I do believe all children ought to be vaccinated.” Some in the GOP are worried. Next thing the Speaker of the House will do is make some heretical statement about believing in science.

 

Some blame the measles outbreak on undocumented immigrants. Considering that this all started from Disneyland, and a single day at the park is $400 for a family of four before parking and food (closer to $600 if you also visit California Adventure), I’m thinking the odds of the child in question being from a wealthy anti-vaccine family are more than slightly higher.

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Rand Paul, “I have heard of many tragic cases of walking, talking normal children who wound up with profound mental disorders after vaccines.” Does this explain some of his colleagues?

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Charlie Manson’s marriage license with his 26 year old girlfriend has apparently expired. So guess what. psycho ladies? He’s available.

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Browns WR Josh Gordon, who allegedly tested positive for alcohol while on probation, has been suspended for a year by the NFL. Rumor has it he was partying with Manziel. This presumably is not what Cleveland had in mind when Johnny Football said he would “wreck this league.:

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From Bill Littlejohn:  “Johnny Manziel has checked into rehab—this just in:three local Las Vegas casino workers unions have filed for bankruptcy.”

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Timing is everything…. A Royal Caribbean ship made headlines today for cutting a cruise short because over 200 people became sick with norovirus, which causes nausea and diarrhea. And just got this in my email from the cruise line “Last minute deals, going, going, gone…”

 

Yes, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” But I don’t have a problem with Jordan’s revenge today. They were far more merciful than ISIS.

 

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Stupid beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Posted February 2, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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No word on when Spring is coming in Seattle. Punxsutawney Phil is still cowering in his burrow with a headache. ‪

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No doubt some Seahawks players and fans feel God let them down Sunday. But to paraphrase an old joke, if God cared at all He/She is probably saying. “Look, I gave you 2 Brady interceptions, 1 miracle catch, and three downs to win it with the best running back in the NFL, what more did you want?”

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Seahawks offensive coordinator Darrell Bevells said they threw on 2nd and goal because “We were conscious of how much time was on the clock and we wanted to use it all.” Uh, except if the pass had been caught for a TD Seattle would have given Brady the ball back with 20 something seconds left. ‪#‎baddecisionANDbadmath‬

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So for all those who wondered how the NFL would grab headlines after the Super Bowl, congrats to all who had “Johnny Manziel entering rehab” in the pool.

 

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Former NFL star Warren Sapp was fired by the NFL Network after he was arrested for soliciting prostitution and two counts of misdemeanor assault after the Super Bowl. Two women who were also cited allegedly told police an argument started over money. When will they ever learn? ALWAYS pay your mistresses and your hookers. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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So, I’m dating myself, but can’t help thinking that that the best headline for this week’s storm would be “Linus blankets Northeast.”

 

From Marc Ragovin:   “Is Pete Carroll’s Internet alias “Clueless in Seattle?”

 

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Sammy Fong says “See, this is what happens when you legalize marijuana in your state!”

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A Texas elementary school suspended a 9-year-old boy for making “terroristic threats” after he told a classmate he could make him disappear with a magic ring like the one in the Hobbit movie. Silly boy. It’s Texas. If he had just threatened the classmate with a gun he’d have gotten off with a warning.

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You can get odds on Tiger Woods winning this week’s Farmers Insurance Open at 50-1 in Las Vegas. And it’s still probably a bad bet.

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The Baltimore Ravens released DT Terrence Cody today after he was indicted on 15 charges, including two felony counts of aggravated animal cruelty, after his dog died. (The charges also included illegally owning an alligator.) Not sure exactly what happened, but with the league’s heightened awareness after Michael Vick, seems like anyone risking these charges with animals should be cut for stupidity if nothing else.

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A 3-year-old boy shot his both his father and pregnant mother in an Albuquerque, NM hotel room this weekend. His parents will survive, his mother is still in the hospital. If only the fetus had been armed..

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Way too young, former MLB player Dave Bergman has passed away at 61. Hope someone is warning players in heaven’s softball league about that hidden ball trick.

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Chris Christie today was asked about the measles outbreak, and said, while he and his wife vaccinated their kids, “I also understand that parents need to have some measure of choice in things as well. So that’s the balance that the government has to decide.” Yep, the NJ govenor is not only running for President, he’s jockeying hard for the “stupid” vote.

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Super gift?

Posted February 1, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

What a waste of Immaculate Reception 2.

 

God to the ‪#‎Seahawks‬. Don’t blame me. Even I ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎SuperBowl‬

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Who needs inflated balls when you have Pete Carroll’s inflated ego? ‪#‎Worst2ndandgoalcallever‬ ‪#‎SuperBowl‬

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Russell Wilson said after the NFC Championship that God caused him to throw four interceptions. Did God tell him to suck in most of the first half of the Super Bowl too?

 

Robert Kraft thanking almost everyone for the Patriots ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ win, but he forgets to thank Pete Carroll for that goal line passing call.

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Of course,  just imagine how far out front ‪#‎Patriots‬ would have won by if they were in charge of their own balls? ‪#‎SuperBowl‬

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Seahawks DE Cliff Avril left Super Bowl after hit on the head and due to concussion protocol will not be able to address the media after the game. Next year, Marshawn Lynch is trying to figure out how often he can claim last second concussions.

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How much did ‪#‎KatyPerry‬ pay ‪#‎HotDogonastick‬ to borrow one of their uniforms for her ‪#‎SuperBowlHalftimeShow‬? –

 

But really, “I kissed a girl and I liked it” from ‪#‎katyperry‬ during the ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ ‪#‎HalftimeShow‬? . No doubt ‪#‎FoxNews‬ is already blaming Obama.

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Just as well folks who paid over $10,000-20,000 for Super Bowl tickets can’t see the commercials. They can no longer afford the cars.

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Hard to believe that after tonight we’ll be done with Super Bowl hype. The NFL draft hype starts in Monday morning.

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Stanford fans have to thank Pete Carroll for flashbacks of watching a coach lose a game by not using his best player: Jim Harbaugh throwing repeatedly instead of running Gerhart late in Big Game against Cal, David Shaw not letting Andrew Luck throw for a game winning TD in the Fiesta Bowl….. ‪#‎inflatedegos‬

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So to put the end of the Super Bowl in context for baseball fans. Pete Carroll not giving the ball to Marshawn Lynch with 2nd and goal at the one and the game on the line was roughly analogous to Matt Williams pulling Jordan Zimmerman one out away from a complete game NLDS game 2 win. IMHO.

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Meanwhile  Mike Huckabee said that changing stance against gay marriage would be like ‘asking someone who’s Jewish to start serving bacon-wrapped shrimp in their deli.”   Right, pork and shrimp together….. Apparently Huckabee has never been in a Chinese restaurant on Christmas.

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If you’re reading this, are you tired of the Super Bowl pre-game already?

Posted January 31, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Okay, is it too late to put a prop bet that the Super Bowl MVP’s first utterance to the media will be “I’ve gotten a measles vaccination and I’m going to Disneyland?”

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And it’s so hard to keep up with all this pre-Super Bowl stuff. Do we know how much the NFL has fined Marshawn Lynch today?

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Aaron Hernandez, formerly a Patriots star until his arrest in 2013 for murder, will not be able to watch the Super Bowl in jail. “I feel so sorry for him,” said nobody.

 

Richard Sherman’s pregnant girlfriend told him not to skip the Super Bowl if she goes into labor the day of the game. Makes sense, what woman wants to be going through the delivery process with a guy who is yelling louder than she is?

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Not sure who’ll be “going to Disneyland” after tomorrow’s Super Bowl,” but if it’s a member of the Patriots Disney is ordering extra guards to make sure nobody lets the air out of those Mickey Mouse balloons.

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Sacramento police arrested an 8th grade girl for distributing home-made pot brownies to her classmates. Not sure what will happen to her in the legal system but the girl was voted “Most likely to open a restaurant in Colorado.”

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More snow is expected by Monday on the East Coast. Which means forget about Punxsutawney Phil seeing his shadow or not. With enough snow no one will be able to see Punxsutawney Phil.

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Sports bettors lost a record amount in 2014 in Vegas. Wonder how many of those losses were people betting on teams from New York?

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As we are about the halfway point in the endless NBA season, who had the top two teams by record being the Atlanta Hawks and the Golden State Warriors? Now all you liars put your hands down.

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People magazine is reporting that Bruce Jenner is “transitioning into life as a woman.” In related news for people who have been watching the former Olympic star, water is wet.

 

 

Carl Djerassi, 91, the Stanford chemist who developed the birth control pill, has died. As far as tributes, wonder how many millions of people are thankful they didn’t have kids to name after him?

 

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Although re Djerassi, isn’t “Father of the Birth Control Pill” an oxymoron?

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Missing the best part?

Posted January 30, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

 

Go figure. All of these people paying thousands of dollars for Super Bowl tickets. And they don’t even get to see the commercials.

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Another thought about all those $10,000 Super Bowl tickets. Maybe most of us think we’d never pay that, but since most of those are written off as corporate expenditures for taxes we’re all chipping in a little bit. Because government will just get the money from somewhere else.

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Oops., a police impersonator in Virginia turned on a spotlight in his Crown Victoria and pulled over another car. Except that the driver of that car then identified himself as an off-duty cop. The wannabe officer is now seeing the inside of a real police station and jail as he is being held without bond.

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NFL Players Association Pres. Eric Winston apologized today for “inappropriately and flippantly” saying to a reporter: “Hey, even the worst bartender at spring break does pretty well. Think about it, a 2-yr old could [be NFL commissioner] and still make money.” Hmm, was he really apologizing to Roger Goodell, or to 2 yr-olds?

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Richard Sherman’s girlfriend is expecting their first child within the next week, and if she goes into labor, Pete Carroll said his cornerback can miss the Super Bowl for the birth if he wants: “It’s about family first and we will support his decision.” And Bill Belichick would no doubt say, “Hey, why doesn’t Sherman be supportive and take the day off to be with her, just in case.”

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For anyone thinking of using an unmanned drone to get a glimpse of the Super Bowl, the FAA has banned them on Sunday afternoon within 10 miles of the stadium, and operators can be jailed or fined. Of course, this doesn’t say anything about potential Patriots drones trying to get a glimpse of Seahawks’ practices.

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Roger Goodell says the NFL is “aggressively” pursuing “Deflategate” allegations, but “I want to emphasize we have made no judgments on these points, and we will not compromise the investigation by engaging in speculation.” Translation, if you think we’re going to do anything before the Super Bowl, you’re flat out nuts.

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Oakland Raiders are at 200-1 odds to win the Super Bowl in 2016 . Wow!  Guess proximity to California must have made the oddsmakers over-optimistic.

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Michelle Obama praised the movie “American Sniper” today. This is the sort of sentence that makes heads at FOX News explode.

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Good for golf to have Tiger Woods back. If there weren’t headlines about him missing another cut most people wouldn’t realize there’s a tournament on this weekend.

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Mitt Romney’s statement  today “After putting considerable thought into making another run for president, I’ve decided it is best to give other leaders in the party the opportunity to become our next nominee.” Translation, enough of my fellow Republicans have said to me “Are you out of your bleeping mind?”

 

 

A former Oregon State student has been cited for filming a porn video in the university library. Not sure who caught her at it, but pretty sure it wasn’t a football player.

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Are we awake and ready for some football?

Posted January 29, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: , , ,

Apparently there have been two middle of the night false alarms this week at the Patriots’ Super Bowl team hotel. Has anyone talked to the Seahawks’ ball boy?

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The Hallmark Channel will broadcast Kitten Bowl II Sunday. They will use 92 kittens who they say they have trained for nine weeks? “Training kittens?”. Is that in preparation for herding them when they grow up?

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A Florida woman was arrested and is being held without bond for allegedly beating her husband with a shoe, after she caught him in their bed with another woman. Well of course, it’s Florida. She should have simply shot him.

 

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Police in Idaho say they got a 911 call from two men transporting 20 pounds of marijuana, who mistakenly thought undercover officers had discovered their stash. But the cops had no idea, until the men called, with their location. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Silver lining for New England on “deflate-gate.” Reports aren’t asking the Patriots about Aaron Hernandez and his murder trial.

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Comcast eventually refunded two years of bills when consumer advocate Christopher Elliott interceded on behalf of a man who tried to cancel service and found on his next bill, his name was changed to ‘A**hole Brown.’

Got to wonder though, just what did the customer say to elicit that response?

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Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth has been sentenced to 5 days in jail for driving 105 mph on the Capital Beltway. Some Washington fans are upset, some don’t care, and most just want Werth to tell them where they can get up to 105- mph on the Beltway.
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Best thing about this non-stop Super Bowl pre-game hype: knowing that when the game is over that it’s only about 2 weeks until pitchers and catchers report.
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Whatever you think about Michelle Obama’s decision not to wear a head covering in Saudi Arabia, one thing seems pretty clear. If the First Lady had worn a black hijab, photos of her would be used in more than a few future GOP campaign ads in conservative areas.
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Meanwhile,  Sarah Palin, ranting on Fox because Bill O’Reilly dismissed her potential Presidential candidacy: “The people of America deserve the best and competition through a GOP primary, whether a Bill O’Reilly or somebody else assumes a reality show or not, they deserve that competition to surface the competitor who can take on Hillary or whomever it may be and win for this country.”

Well, I don’t know about what the American people deserve, but comedy writers are just hoping we are worthy.

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Carol, carol, carol….

Posted January 29, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Florence Henderson, 81, who will forever be Carol Brady to many baby-boomers, gave an interview during which she talked about currently having a “friend with benefits.” And you think it was tough figuring out that YOUR parents actually had sex.

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Facebook was down for an hour Monday light, and apparently 5 people called 911 about it. Really? Don’t these people understand that 911 is for serious issues. Like if your television goes down during the Super Bowl?

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A fighter jet flew low over Berkeley today, scaring a lot of residents. Turns out it was a Navy pilot showing off for his brother who is a student at the university. Wonder if the pilot will claim he was pushed into the cockpit.

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Good to see that, once again, NFL has its priorities in order. Apparently Marshawn Lynch may be fined anyway, not for his “I’m just here so I don’t get fined” respondes, but for wearing his “BeastMode” cap which was not a league approved brand.

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Thinking for Marshawn Lynch and the NFL it would be much more efficient if the Seahawks running back just put money for his fines in a retainer account at the beginning of the season and the league notified him when to top it up.

 

Bill Clinton, joking about what he would want to be called if Hillary runs for President and wins – “I could be called Adam.” (First man.) I don’t know. What about “First Bubba?”

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Headline hyperbole award of the day.- “Home heartbreak.” Talking about the Warriors’ loss in OT yesterday to the Bulls. Golden State had a 19 game winning streak snapped and is now 36-7. ‪#‎tragicreally‬

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A now former Stanford University star swimmer was barred from campus after being charged with five felony counts. He was arrested after allegedly being found raping an intoxicated, unconscious woman on campus. What an idiotic a**hole. Since he’s a swimmer instead of a football player, no other school will give him a second chance.

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You really can’t make this stuff up.  Now Michelle Obama has a new supporter. For today. This tweet “Kudos to @FLOTUS for standing up for women & refusing to wear Sharia-mandated head-scarf in Saudi Arabia. Nicely done.” From Ted Cruz.

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Joel Grey, in a new People magazine interview that he didn’t like labels, but if you “have to use labels, I’m a gay man.” “I’m shocked,” said about two people.

 

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Two steps forward, one step back. While Pope Francis is winning friends for the Catholic Church around the world, now we’ve got Father Joseph Illo, who took over a San Francisco church recently and is getting rid of girls as altar servers.. This because females cannot enter the priesthood, and “Boys usually end up losing interest because girls generally do a better job A boys-only program gives altar boys the space to develop their own leadership potential.” ‪#‎nottheonion‬

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Bus to hell, or heaven, from Gary Bachman:   “A cat, presumed dead and buried, showed up in neighbor’s yard five days later. ‘I did it in three,’ boasted Jesus.”

 

 

Despite the fact that New England is still digging out from Juno, the storyline now is on how underwhelming the storm was in NJ/NY. So, yes, Boston, to the New York-centric media you are officially chopped liver.

Comments: 1 Comment

It’s snow joke.

Posted January 27, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Once again, NJ & NY see proof why most meteorologists are men: They always overestimate inches. ‪#‎Snowmageddon2015‬

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Well, at least this over-hyped storm had one silver lining for New Yorkers: It cancelled the Knicks game.

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And actually Juno did hit New England hard.  But So the “Blizzard of the 2015” didn’t turn out to be quite as big a deal in New York and New Jersey as forecasters expected.  Will they rename it “Geno?”

(or “Johnny Storm?”)

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As the measles outbreak spreads, have to wonder, if there was a vaccine for Ebola, how many Americans would refuse to use it?

 

Wonder how many NFL people are longing for the days when the only balls in the bathroom controversy had to do with openly gay players.

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If you go by $$ per minute, Marshawn Lynch’s 4 minutes and 51 seconds on Super Bowl media day might have been one of the best paid interviews of all time. “I’m just here so I won’t get fined.”  Because he probably saved fines of at least $250,000.

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Former NY Giants defensive coordinator Perry Fewell, interviewed to be the 49ers defensive backs coach. But he turned SF down and took the same position with Washington. How toxic an owner do you have to be to make Dan Snyder look good?

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Bus to hell time.  A Nashville jury has convicted two ex-Vanderbilt football players of raping a former student inside a dorm room. Wonder if both men now wish they’d gone to Florida State?

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Sometimes all technology does is give people more power to embrace their idiocy. A 22 yr-old Texas man is in jail after he posted on FB, “So I have 16 warrants right now. Lol they know where I’m at tho, so it must not be TOO bad.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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New England CB Brandon Browner told ESPN “I’m going to tell my teammates to go hit (Sherman’s) elbow, go hit (Thomas’s) shoulder. Try to break it if you can.” But the NFL is okay with the comments, because Browner didn’t put it in terms of a bounty?

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from T.C. “When Elin heard that Tom Brady was possibly cheating, she immediately sent Gisele that famous 9 iron.”

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James Caan has filed for divorce from his wife for the third time in ten years. “Dude, make up your mind”, said Brett Favre.

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Michelle Obama did not wear a headscarf Tuesday in Saudi Arabia, where local women must cover their heads. Over at FOX News heads must have exploded as they were all no doubt ready to complain that she didn’t show respect for Muslim customs….

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Say it ain’t so.

Posted January 26, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

A small drone that crashed on the White House lawn this morning apparently belonged to a “government employee” who said was using it for fun when he lost control of the flying device. You know, they really need to find more to do for Joe Biden.

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Why there is no satire. Incoming MLB commissioner Rob Manfred said he wants to “inject more offense into the game.” Uh, been there, done that. Got the asterisk on the t-shirt.

 

Patriots owner Robert Kraft said today if the NFL can’t definitely determine guilt in “Deflate-gate”, that the league owes the entire team an apology. Guess that sounds better than saying the NFL would owe New England congratulations on the cover-up.

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Richard Sherman, who missed the Pro Bowl because his team has a game this weekend, has a gripe. “Only thing I’m disappointed about is that we didn’t get our gifts from the Pro Bowl. Which is kind of dumb.The NFL is only league that punishes the players who actually make the all-star game by not giving them the gift.”

Well, to be fair, Sherman only signed a 4 year $56 million extension with the Seahawks. Dude’s got to take care of his family.

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Arizona man who was hired as “assistant frequency coordinator” for the Super Bowl was fired after he posted a Facebook picture of himself wearing the security ID (The NFL forbids this because of fears the ID’s could be copied.)

His response. “When I screw up…I do it good….. They say that the hardest words in the English language to say are ‘I’m wrong.’ Well…I’m wrong.” Give the guy credit, he’s manned up better than the Patriots.

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Tom Brady this morning on a Boston radio show about “Deflate-gate,” said “my feelings got hurt.” “I feel so sorry for him,” said no one outside New England.

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What took so long? Fox Sports reports that NFL has “zeroed in” on a Patriots locker room attendant who allegedly took balls before the Patriots-Colts from the officials’ locker room to another area on the way to the field. So was it Belichick or Brady who uttered the pre-game words “Who will rid me of this meddlesome air?

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Odell Beckham Jr., he of the highlight reel catches, says that he was bothered by a hamstring this year and wasn’t at full strength all season. And a bunch of cornerbacks and safeties just threw up.

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Disney Cruise Line has announced plans to bring “Frozen” to life for cruise passengers this summer on select sailings to Europe and Alaska, with characters and music from the film. And presumably well-iced martinis to help parents survive hearing “Let it Go” one more time.

 

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KFC in the Philippines has a new menu item, the “Double Down Dog” sandwich. It features a cheese covered hot dog inside a bun-size piece of fried chicken. No word on if the “Double Down Dog” will ever be available in the U.S. Presumably KFC first needs to find a sponsoring team of cardiologists.

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Travel bans in effect Monday night in NY.. ‪#‎NYJets‬ & ‪#‎NYGiants‬ have done their part by not having fans need to fly to ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ ‪#‎blizzardof2015‬

Comments: 2 Comments

The hard stuff.

Posted January 26, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

President Obama and PM Narendra Modi said they have reached “a breakthrough understanding” on nuclear issues between the U.S and India. Okay, that’s a start. Now what are they going to do about deflated footballs?

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Even SNL opened with a “Deflate-Gate” sketch. Apparently it was either that or one about using guns on fish in a barrel.

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Richard Sherman, never a fan of the philosophy “when your opponent is digging himself into a ditch, stand back and watch him dig.” on Deflate-gate

““Will the (the Patriots) be punished? Probably not. Not as long as Robert Kraft and Roger Goodell are still taking pictures at their respective homes. I think it was just at Kraft’s house last week before the AFC Championship, you know. Talk about conflict of interest.”

With all due re$pect, I don’t think it matter$ who’$ playing. As Goodell has billion$ of rea$on$ not to me$$ with the ca$h cow that is the $uper Bowl.

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Miss Universe was crowned  Sunday night. Not sure how many straight men in the audience but at least nice to have one competition without deflated balls.

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Ashley Wagner won her 3rd US figure skating championship yesterday. At the age of 23. Guess this makes her figure skating’s Jamie Moyer.

 

Ideas for Super Bowl halftime  –  from Bill Littlejohn  “How about Air Supply?”

Or maybe all the songs should be sung in the key of B flat?

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Of course, Idina Menzel is doing the National Anthem. Maybe she should toss in a Frozen line  – “My power flurries through the air into the ground.”

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While we’re all on the free speech bandwagon, the mayor of Boston signed an agreement that blocks city employees from making negative comments about the Olympics, the International Olympic Committee, or the USOC. Not exactly a profile in courage.

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Sarah Palin “the man can only ride you when your back is bent.”. And somewhere W is thinking. “And they said I couldn’t speak English?”

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The Pro Bowl final score was 32-28. And if you already knew that, you might be just beyond a football fanatic. And if you had a bet on the score, you might just have a gambling problem.

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But okay, while the Pro Bowl is a joke,  caught a glimpse on ESPN pre-game of Drew Brees, Andrew Luck and John Harbaugh laughing and chatting in locker room. Now that would be a seriously fun conversation to overhear.

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New MLB commissioner Rob Manfred said in an interview that he wants to “inject additional offense into the game” and would be open to pursuing the elimination of defensive shifts, which he says give the fielders a competitive advantage. Well, while he’s at it will Manfred limit the number of innings thrown by pitchers like Kershaw and Bumgarner?

 

(and didn’t we already try “injecting” offense into the game?”)

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Browns WR Josh Gordon has failed another drug test, allegedly for alcohol which was forbidden as part of his probation and may now be suspended for a year by the NFL. In Gordon’s defense, will he claim that dealing with the Manziel circus is enough to drive ANYONE to drink.

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Congrats to Coach K, for being the first Men’s Division 1 basketball coach to reach 1,000 wins. For all those one-and-done current players, that’s a 1 with three zeroes after it.

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But lest we forget, Coach K is still 98 wins behind Pat Summitt. ‪#‎1000Wins‬

 

Comments: 2 Comments

The winning touch?

Posted January 24, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A new poll found that 1 in 4 U.S. citizens believe God plays a role in determining which team wins sports contests. The rest of us know it’s down to lucky charms, clothes, voodoo, etc.

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Fed Ex announced they have delivered the Super Bowl Lombardi trophy to Arizona, where it is now on display. If the Patriots win will they put a little dent in the football?

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The NFL has apparently warned that if Marshawn Lynch grabs his crotch again for a touchdown celebration, Seattle will be fined 15 yards. Wouldn’t it be simpler to just ask the Patriots to over-inflate the Seahawks’ footballs?

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Well, at least Brandon Bostick has to be happy no one is talking anymore about his muffed catch of the ‪#‎Seahawks‬ onside kick. ‪

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Although just think, had the Seahawks kicked one of those Patriot balls, Bostick might have had an easier time catching it.

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And if some ways really don’t get why Deflategate is still a story. Shouldn’t the Patriots have found some lowly equipment staffer willing to fall on his sword, or rather ball, and accept responsibility by now? Or are they still working out the details of the “retirement” payout?

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Northern California’s Serra High School has been banned from post-season football for two years. Because their coach announced to their opponent, at noon on the day of a December playoff consolation game, that they were forfeiting and would not play, because he “couldn’t justify a single injured player.” So in other words, risks are fine if it’s about winning. But if the game doesn’t lead to a potential championship, there’s no point.

And this is the high school where Tom Brady played football. ‪#‎lessonlearned‬

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Lindsay Lohan is facing jail because she is behind on her community service. But the actress is claiming she hasn’t been able to put in the hours due to a virus she contracted while vacationing in Bora Bora. Wouldn’t it have been easier to claim measles from Disneyland?

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The University of Alabama has announced that Lane Kiffin will be staying as offensive coordinator. Translation, either the SF 49ers wised up. Or didn’t offer Kiffin enough money.

 

Big sports news across the pond in England. BBC calling it maybe the biggest FA Cup shocker ever – Bradford City comes back from 2-0 down to beat Chelsea 4-2. And in the US people are going, “who’s Bradford, who’s Chelsea, and what the heck is the FA Cup?”

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Great oldie but goodie line on a San Francisco bar coaster. “The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.” ‪#‎notamorningperson‬

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Sarah Palin now says she is “seriously interested” in running for President in 2016. This might be the first time Palin and “serious” have been used in the same sentence.

 

Ted Cruz today in Iowa. “There are 110,000 employees at the IRS. We need to padlock that building and put every one of those 110,000 on our southern border.’ What’s more ludicrous? The idea of putting all Americans on the honor system for taxes? Or putting 110,000 accountant types with guns on the Mexican border?

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Let’s play two.

Posted January 23, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

 

As a child, it was hard to imagine a baseball world without Ernie Banks in it. It still is. RIP Mr. Cub. Hope heaven has a special shiny gold trophy for you with all those little flags on it.

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And yeah, MLB Hall of Fame is one thing. But what greater tribute to a man, ‪#‎ErnieBanks‬ , ‪#‎MrCub‬, is that no one ever said a negative word about him.

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You cannot make this “stuff” up: Actual USAToday.com headline – “Supreme Court will rule on safety of lethal injections.”

 

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A Southern California TV station (KSBY) is reporting that former MLB pitcher Ted Lilly has been charged with 3 felony counts of insurance fraud for damaging his $200,000 RV and not filing a claim until he purchased insurance afterwards. But hey, the guy has to feed his family. Lilly only earned about $100 million in his career.

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Some wondered if there would be repercussions when airlines no longer required electronic devices to be turned off from the moment the door is closed. Alas, here’s one: the company behind the SkyMall catalog has declared Chapter 11. ‪#‎noneedtoread‬

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And how many people read the above and think “Ooh, Skymall close-out sale!”

 

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Of course it makes sense that Tom Brady, who likes his balls “a certain way” wouldn’t have noticed that the footballs were different last week. About as much sense as David Ortiz getting confused and using Dustin Pedroia’s bat by mistake.

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How quickly things change. And here many of us thought the NFL narrative all week would be about the end of the Packers Seahawks game.

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A Southern California TV station (KSBY) is reporting that former MLB pitcher Ted Lilly has been charged with 3 felony counts of insurance fraud for damaging his $200,000 RV and not filing a claim until he purchased insurance afterwards. But hey, the guy has to feed his family. Lilly only earned about $100 million in his career.

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Kobe Bryant, 36, may soon have season-ending surgery on his torn rotator cuff. But by doing the surgery now Bryant should be healthy enough to start and be injured again next season.

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Marshawn Lynch, unhappy about recent fines, especially one on a teammate, tweeted that he was ” embarrassed to work” for the NFL. Hmm. If he wants to be really embarrassed, Lynch could sign a free agent deal with the Jets.

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Three players were ejected after a fight where punches were thrown in the Alabama-Auburn women’s basketball game last night. And a whole lot of men just put the SEC women’s final on their watch calendar.

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Seems like a lot of the people screaming at Obama for not attending the free speech ‪#‎jesuisCharlie‬ rally in Paris sure have their knickers in a knot over various free speech comments about ‪#‎AmericanSniper‬

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And the gifts just keep on coming. Rick Santorum says he is thinking of running again for President in 2016. No word on when Santorum will decide whether or not to throw his vest into the ring.

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Measles was declared eradicated in 2000. Now, thanks to the anti-vaccine movement, the CDC says that last year doctors in the U.S. diagnosed 644 cases of measles. And some wonder how anti-science politicians get elected….

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In San Francisco today, Jeb Bush acknowledged he is “seriously” considering a run for President. And Hillary Clinton “seriously” congratulated Jeb for saying it with a straight face.

Comments: 2 Comments

Denial is now a river in New England?

Posted January 23, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Bill Belichick. “I have no explanation for what happened… I was shocked to learn of the footballs on Monday.” I presume the Patriots coach was also shocked to hear that there is gambling in Casablanca?

 

 

More from Belichick’s press conference. “Tom’s personal preferences on his footballs are something that he can talk about in much better detail and information than I could possibly provide,” Someone want to pass this quote on to Giselle?

 

 

Tom Brady – – “I wouldn’t do anything to break the rules.” Giselle – “My husband cannot f–king throw the ball and deflate it at the same time.”

 

 

So much denial out of New England. Hmm. Overheard last weekend in the Patriots’ locker room by coaches and players holding footballs “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome air?”

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First a missing elevator video, now a micro-manager of a coach who didn’t realize his team was cheating, again. Just wondering, since when did Roger Goodell decide that ignorance is only no excuse in New Orleans.

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So can we make sure all the Pro Bowl footballs are deflated? Since it’s an exhibition game, it would be fun to see Luck and Brees combine to throw for  20-30 touchdowns.

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Meanwhile, back in the NFC, the NFL has fined Marshawn Lynch $20,000 for the grabbing his crotch after scoring a TD in the Seahawks win over Green Bay. And then presumably the league will fine the Seattle RB another $50,000 for refusing to comment on the incident.

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Starbucks reported a 16% jump in quarterly profit today. Makes sense, interest rates are still low enough that consumers can get inexpensive loans to buy their coffee.

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How much more does this Disneyland measles outbreak have to spread before people start clamoring for President Obama to figure out a way to prevent the disease?

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House GOP leaders pulled a very restrictive anti-abortion bill from the floor after reports that several women Republican congressmen were going to vote against it. Presumably their next step, looking into what it would take to repeal the 19th amendment.

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Mike Huckabee, talking about how states could resist a Supreme Court decision upholding gay marriage: “Do we really surrender the entire American system of government to five people, unelected, appointed for life, with no consequences for the decisions they make? The founders never intended for there to be such incredible, almost unlimited power, put in the hands of so few people.”

Uh, wonder what President Al Gore thinks of this statement?

 

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As negative as this ‪#‎DeflateGate‬ coverage is ‪#‎RichardSherman‬ still probably stewing over fact that he’s out of the headlines. ‪#‎SuperBowl‬

 

 

From Marc Ragovin. “I hear the Patriots’ Super Bowl fight song is gonna be “Under Pressure.”

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Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah, 91, has died. The scary thing…. he’s supposed to have made the country more modern and reasonable. ‪#‎howcouldyoutell‬

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A 50-year-old Irish grandmother received no jail time when she pleaded guilty to possession of a small amount of cocaine at a Cork bingo hall. Apparently police first became suspicious when they heard her yelling “BINGO” from the next county.

 

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Email ad today for the Westminster Kennel show “See your favorite dogs for this February only $30.” Of course New York bargain hunters can wait six weeks and get cheap seats for the Mets.

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Not enough hot air?

Posted January 22, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

The “deflate-gate” story is getting more and more media coverage. If this keeps up, God may not be rooting for the Seahawks, but Roger Goodell and the NFL sure will.

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Andrew Luck, asked about losing the AFC Championship game. “You do feel deflated.” Now Andrew is a nice young man and apparently felt embarrassed when he realized what he said. But Luck does have a free pass on the bus to hell if he wants one.

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So deflated footballs are easier for quarterbacks to handle? Maybe this explains why Jerry Jones wanted Chris Christie as a lucky charm at Dallas games…. he just wanted the NJ Governor to sit on the team’s balls.

 

As if most Americans weren’t already sad to see Seattle instead of Green Bay in the Super Bowl, here’s Aaron Rodgers, when asked if losing a game like last week’s shakes his faith: “I don’t think God cares a whole lot about the outcome. He cares about the people involved, but I don’t think he’s a big football fan.”

(besides, we all know, God prefers baseball.)

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Even casual football fans now know that the amount of air in a ball makes a difference. One of the few deflating offenders caught in the past? USC , who was fined $25,000, under then coach Lane Kiffin in 2012.  Yep, the same Kiffin who is now under consideration to be the 49ers offensive coordinator.  So the circus may really be coming to San Francisco.

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A new study has found that people of drink four or more cups of coffee a day have a 20 percent less chance of getting malignant melanoma skin cancer. Maybe due to the antioxidants. Or maybe due to the fact that anyone drinking that much coffee won’t be able to sit still in the sun for long.

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Now Joe Biden says he might run for President in 2016. Seems reasonable. Why should late-night talk show hosts just have fun with the GOP side?

 

Chelsea Clinton, talking about her baby girl – “I read her the world news every morning.” Well, of course, how else will Charlotte be prepared in 2060 to run for President?

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Former NY Jets QB coach David Lee said that Geno Smith’s inconsistency “is what killed us.” Right, because the Jets did so much better with Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow.

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A password management company has found that Americans have wised up and that “password” is no longer the most commonly used password in the U.S. It has, however, been replaced by “123456.” Maybe such users should consider another six character password – “Darwin.”

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PGA golfer Robert Allenby said he was kidnapped, beaten and robbed in Honolulu. But now witnesses say they just saw him passed out drunk on a sidewalk. Even Tiger Woods is thinking, “Dude, you couldn’t come up with a better story?”

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Why there is no satire. Thanks to my friend Laura for this line from the AP, note, not the Onion, the AP: “ORLANDO, Florida — A trial to determine whether U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson’s wife committed bigamy when she wed the congressman has been delayed because she required emergency surgery to remove breast implants.”

 

 

From T.C.  Mah husband cannot throw the f***ing ball and blow it up too – Gisele Bundchen

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Soft balls?

Posted January 20, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

ESPN reports that 11 of 12 game balls allotted to the Patriots for the AFC Championship game were found to be underinflated by two pounds of air (PSI) Out of a required 12.5-13.5 pounds. The report adds that the league is “disappointed … angry … distraught.” So that makes the entire NFL honorary Packers fans?

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Many think “deflate-gate” is ludicrous because the Patriots wouldn’t need to have cheated to beat the Colts. Of course, Nixon sure didn’t need to cheat to beat McGovern.

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Seahawks vs Patriots. A lot of people just really don’t care who wins the Super Bowl. At least Katy Perry will give millions of men two reasons to watch.

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Jim Harbaugh has hired his son, 25, as a coach. Of course Michigan fans don’t care if Harbaugh puts his dog on the payroll, as long as he can beat Ohio State.

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From Bill Littlejohn:   “A large number of Seahawk fans left the stadium and were not around for Sunday’s wild finish.Thus, only 775,000 will claim that they were there to see it.”

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68 Stanford students shut down the San Mateo bridge during Monday’s commute. They were protesting Ferguson, as well as “state-sponsored and U.S.-sponsored violence in Mexico and Palestine.” Have no problem with their free speech in tying all those diverse things together, but thinking if you want to win people to your side, keeping them stuck in their cars after a long day of work doesn’t seem to be the best way to do it.

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Donald Trump says he is giving “serious thought” to another Presidential run. This may be the first time that “Donald Trump” and “serious thought” have been used in the same sentence.

 

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What’s the point of a long rebuttal to the ‪#‎SOTU‬? When the basic message is simply. “What he said was all wrong”?

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So apparently some people are doing a “Nationwide Boycott of the SOTU” where they will take pictures of themselves turning their back on President Obama. Aren’t some of these the same people who are unhappy that we no longer do the Pledge of Allegiance each morning in school? – “One nation, INDIVISIBLE…..”

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Hope Solo just had domestic violence charges dropped against her, now allegedly she was almost arrested again for being “belligerent” when her former NFL player husband Jerramy Stevens was arrested for DUI in L.A. Who says female athletes will never be the equal of men?

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Why there is no satire. MLB just put Fred Wilpon in charge of the MLB finance committee. For the uninitiated, he is the owner of the Mets, whose performance should in and of itself question his ability to manage money, but he also lost about $700 million investing in a Ponzi scheme run by Bernie Madoff. And Wilpon’s defense to avoid criminal charges himself…. he had no clue what was going on…. ‪#‎facepalm‬

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Kim Kardashian has a book coming out in May, titled “Selfish.” Does this really even need a punchline?

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MLB is proposing that pitchers now be ready to throw a pitch 30 seconds before all between-inning commercial breaks end. Hitters would need to be ready 20 seconds in advance. This would supposedly shorten all games that are not nationally televised by at least 10-15 minutes.  Which means Yankees-Red Sox games will still last four hours.

 

Sad news Tuesday night, that a heart surgeon at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital has passed away after being shot this Tuesday morning, apparently by a disgruntled son of a former patient, who then turned the gun on himself. A sad remember that for all we worry about foreign terrorists, we have plenty of crazy dangerous people right in here in the USA.

Comments: 6 Comments

Slip slipping away.

Posted January 19, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

So Brandon Bostick didn’t lose that game for the Packers all by himself. But when he let that onside kick go through his hands, the fat lady was so upset she dropped her sheet music.

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The Seattle Seahawks deleted their MLK day tweet saying “We shall overcome” with an MLK quote about faith and a picture of a crying Russell Wilson. Good thing it wasn’t Easter…. wonder what they would have tweeted about resurrection.

 

 

So lots of potential bets on the Super Bowl. One of the more intriguing… what’s the over-under on the size of the fine the NFL will levy on Marshawn Lynch for not talking during media week?

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Seattle police let Seahawks DE Michael Bennett commandeer one of their bicycles for a joy ride around the field after yesterday’s game. And somewhere Madison Bumgarner saw that and said, “Alright, next time no one’s telling ME I can’t ride a police horse in a parade.”

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Happy MLK day. And a weird trivia apropos of nothing, well, except that it’s almost Spring Training. Had Martin Luther King lived, he would still be younger than Vin Scully.

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A college intern working for the Cincinnati Bengals’ was arrested and is facing felony fraud charges after allegedly stealing more than 100 items, including shoes and other gear from the team’s locker room. The items were valued at a total of about $3,500. What an idiot. You’d think he’d at least work for a team where the stolen stuff would be worth more.

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Chicago GM Ryan Pace called new coach John Fox “a game-changer” for the team. Cool, but it will take more than changing one-game to make the Bears a serious postseason contender in 2015.

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Bud Selig this weekend in St. Louis, “I visit all 30 cities, and you are the best baseball city.”    Now, Cardinals fans are great. But no respect for the city that has sold out every game for the past three years?  (San Francisco)

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The measles outbreak that started at Disneyland over the holidays is now up to at least 51 cases in California, a few other states, and Mexico. And it is expected to get much worse. The L.A.Times reports “the wealthy area of southern Orange County has particularly low vaccination levels among kindergartners compared to the state average.” ‪#‎Moneycantfixstupid‬

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Pope Francis, who has come out against artificial birth control, did just say. “Some people think that – excuse my expression here – that in order to be good Catholics we have to be like rabbits.” and added that he knew many ways allowed by the Church to limit family size. Right. Brings to mind the old joke, “What do you call people who practice the rhythm method?” “Parents.”

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A new poll shows President Obama’s approval rating back up to 50%. Makes sense. The economy is getting better. And maybe Americans are starting to look ahead to the alternatives.

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Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal today reiterated his claim that Muslim immigrants have created “no-go zones” in Europe where non-Muslims are not welcome. Although he can’t name one such zone. Apparently Jindal’s prior comment that the GOP must “stop being the stupid party” doesn’t extend to pesky things like facts.

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Okay, Billy Crystal has been taking heat for saying he thought some gay sex scenes on TV went “a little too far. ” But it’s gotten less attention when he added “What I meant was that whenever sex or graphic nudity of any kind (gay or straight) is gratuitous to the plot or story, it becomes a little too much for my taste.” Actually agree with him. Hard to believe it was scandalous when I was a kid that Mike and Carol Brady shared a bed.

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Here we go again. In Missouri a 9-month-old boy has died after being shot in the head by his 5-year-old brother. Stand by for the NRA campaign to arm babies at birth.

 

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