Posted tagged ‘American Pharaoh jokes’

Thirty seven years…..

June 6, 2015

ticket

Not sure what’s harder to believe, 37 years since the last Triple Crown.  Or how old I’ll be if it’s 37 years until the next one.

Millions of course for this win for the owner, trainer and jockey. For American Pharoah… .all the mares he wants.  A lot of men are thinking, not a bad deal.

As if spelling in the US wasn’t bad enough, millions of children will grow up never learning how to spell Pharaoh. ‪#‎AmericanPharoah‬

Wonder how many superstitious horse owners will now deliberately try to misspell their horse’s names.

Two women who work as costumed characters in Times Square were arrested Thursday, after “Minnie Mouse” got into a brawl with “Hello Kitty.” And how many children in the area are headed for a lifetime of therapy?

Wow. A Fantasy Football Convention scheduled for Las Vegas was cancelled after the NFL objected, saying it violated the league’s rules about players being associated with gambling. There’s gambling around the NFL?? I’m shocked, shocked.

(Actually I’m more shocked the NFL could say this with a straight face.)

The Westboro Baptist Church picketed Beau Biden’s funeral. Can we just tell all ISIS sympathizers that the WBC likes to draw Mohammad too? ‪#‎bipartisanbustohell‬.

A man was arrested today for allegedly throwing coffee at Westboro Baptist Church members who were picketing Beau Biden’s funeral. What!? Wasn’t the coffee hot enough?

Apparently there was a rule in Louisville started in the late 18th century for town meetings – all business must be concluded before drinking could begin. Hmm, might be a good rule to apply to the U.S. Congress.

The Duggars are now blaming the “media frenzy” as being “a thousand times worse” than their brother Josh’s abuse. Now, I feel sorry for the girls, and have no doubt this isn’t any fun for them now at all….but isn’t their family’s whole livelihood dependent on the media in the first place? ‪#‎LivebytheRealityShowDiebytheRealityShow‬

A Delta Air Lines flight from Green Bay to Minneapolis made an emergency landing back in Green Bay after an engine was damaged by an apparent bird strike during takeoff. Delta says there were no injuries. The bird would disagree.

Fight night.

May 3, 2015

Regarding this ‪#‎MayPac‬ fight on Pay-Per-View. I’m trying to figure out how much someone would have had to have paid me to view it. ‪#‎notaboxingfan‬

 

So what comes next? Mayweather’s next fight or his next domestic violence arrest? ‪#‎MayPac‬

But hey, for anyone who really is a fight fan…. wouldn’t it have been cheaper to sign up to stream Kansas City Royals games?

Now, if anyone wants to see a real fight, the Yankees have decided Alex Rodriguez’s 660th home run is not a “marketable milestone.”  So they don’t have to pay him a $6 million bonus.  Which A-Rod plans to challenge.

(On top of the animosity involved, how often do Americans get to see a fight where they hope both sides lose?)

 

Congrats to American Pharoah for winning the best two minute event in sports. As opposed to say, Big Papi’s batter’s box ritual.

 

American Pharoah could really win the hearts of the country – What’s more American these days than misspelling?  “Pharaoh” is the correct spelling.  But the name sent in and selected as the winner of a naming contest, and the owner didn’t notice.  Until after American Pharoah was registered….

 

Although to be honest, have to wonder how many Americans even know what a Pharaoh is.

 

Maybe next year the Zayat Stable should name a horse “Autocorrect.”

A baby three hours after going to the hospital and a girl at that. Is Kate efficient or what? ‪#‎improvingthegenepool‬ ‪#‎Royalbaby‬

Kate leaves the hospital 10 hours after giving birth. And no doubt some U.S. conservatives would say, yes, another poor mother who suffers because the Government is in charge of healthcare. ‪#‎Royalbaby‬

 

 

So the ‪#‎NYJets‬ have yet another quarterback. Forget bobbleheads, will the one of the team’s giveaways be a toy clown car?

And we wonder why former football players have health problems. From a Colts website story on Stanford’s Henry Anderson. “He’s a good pass rusher, and if he adds some weight (he’s 6-6, 295 pounds) he could develop the power that could make him a force up front “. Adds some weight….? Sigh

 

 

Rick Santorum on Bruce Jenner. “If he says he’s a woman, he’s a woman.” It’s a start. now, would Santorum let Ms. Jenner use a bathroom with his wife?

Two police dogs in Medford, are expected to be out of work because while they are great at sniffing out marijuana. pot will become legal in Oregon July 1. But maybe savvy buyers can contract them on a part time basis for quality control?