American heroes and zeroes.
England is all abuzz waiting for William and Kate’s second baby, which may be overdue. Americans don’t get why Brits care so much about a Royal Family. As opposed to more important things like whether Hillary can beat Jeb?
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Marcus Mariota watched the NFL draft from his home in Hawaii instead of going to Chicago. Wonder how many will criticize the decision and say the QB at least should have been watching from somewhere in the U.S.
For their 1st round pick in the NFL draft, the Denver Broncos drafted DE Shane Ray, who is already enrolled in the league’s substance abuse program after being cited this week for marijuana. Well, not sure if Ray will be a starter this year, but he’s already well on his way to some potential endorsement deals in Colorado.
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Stanford’s OT #AndrusPeat to the #Saints. Talented AND smart. Somewhere #DrewBrees is smiling.
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Have to wonder with NFL draft starting Thursday night, now agents have locked their clients in a room since say, Monday, to make sure they didn’t get in trouble?
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#JameisWinston #1 to #TampaBay in the #NFLDraft. Makes sense, at least Winston already has good relations with Florida cops.
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And so now as we head to round two of the #NFLDraft, many questions remain. Such as, “which QB will the #NYJets make a mistake with this year?”
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The Oakland As are not off to a great start this year. If the team doesn’t look out they won’t have anyone to trade away at the deadline.
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So Billy Donovan is leaving Florida for the Oklahoma City Thunder. Makes sense, these days being in the NBA gives you more years to coach college-age players.
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Judith Miller on “The Daily Show,” defending her stories about WMD’s in Iraq. “Everyone got it wrong.” Uh, not exactly “everyone.” #whatstoopainfultoremember
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The Kentucky Derby favorite is “American Pharoah” Wonder how many Americans think that is yet another nickname for Obama.
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Meanwhile, Gary Stevens, 52, will ride “Firing Line.” So will Stevens’ game plan be to scream at the other jockeys “You punks get off my racetrack”?
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A 45 year-old-man escaped with only minor injuries when he was pulling up his pants in a Chick-fil-A bathroom and accidentally shot his own leg with his Glock pistol. This happened in Hamilton, Ohio. Okay, Florida, catch up.
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Blake Lively, quoted in UK magazine “Stylist” “I have a dream to go to Harvard Business School, and one of these days I will do that… in my spare time.” Uh, so is Blake angling for a movie contract – “Corporately Blonde?
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In Oklahoma, during a debate about giving state supreme court justices a raise, Rep. Kevin Calvey argued that the court was not sufficiently anti-abortion, and stated “If I were not a Christian, and didn’t have a prohibition against suicide, I’d walk across the street and douse myself in gasoline and set myself on fire. To protest the evil that is going on over there, killing, giving the death penalty, to the will of the people and the will of this body and protecting the least among us.”
Well, in the name of consistency I say it’s his body and Calvey should be able to do what he wants with it. #anybodygotamatch?
From T.C. “Seahawks QB Russell Wilson upgraded a US Army passenger on an Alaska Airlines flight to 1st Class from Economy. Best part of this story was that he “handed” the serviceman the ticket.”
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Tags: draft jokes, Florida jokes, Kentucky Derby jokes, Mariota jokes, NFL draft jokes, NFL jokes
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