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The ice have it

June 2, 2015

The Stanley Cup Finals between the Blackhawks and the Lightning start Wednesday night in Tampa.   Scalpers should have a field day.  If for no other reason than when it’s 90 degrees and 90 percent humidity, ANY excuse to sit inside with ice should be a hot ticket.

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Not saying Florida isn’t exactly a hockey mecca.  But when random Floridians were asked if they were watching the Lightning,  most of them responded “I didn’t even hear the thunder.”

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Sepp Blatter is retiring as President of FIFA, Translation, one of the officials arrested has made an immunity plea deal.

 

June 5 is National Doughnut Day, so Dunkin’ Donuts and Krispy Kreme will give away freebies on Friday. Wonder how much of the cost will be underwritten by Weight Watchers?

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As this FIFA mess expands, you’d think that if they really wanted to do corruption on a grand scale and not be caught, these international football types would have hired someone from America’s NCAA.

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So is everyone at FIFA in Sepp-tic shock? ‪#‎Blatter‬

 

Two months into a seven month abalone season, the sixth person this year has died while diving for the precious mollusk off the Northern California coast, How long until the NRA calls for divers to be armed?

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Now Ohio governor John Kasich is heading to Iowa to make a speech to an economic development group in Des Moines At this point if all those ballplayers tried to come out of the cornfields they’d trip over presidential candidates.

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Mike Huckabee, dismissing trangenders. “Now, I wish that someone told me that when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in PE. I’m pretty sure that I would have found my feminine side and said, ‘Coach, I think I’d rather shower with the girls today.'”

Kind of makes sense that some of these clowns don’t believe in evolution. Because they are their own best argument against it. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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So the Duggars are apparently TLC’s 5th reality show hild molestation scandal, following issues with “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” “Sons of Guns,” “Cheer Perfection,”, and “Cake Boss.” Who knew that TLC stood for “Touching Little Children?”

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An official at Poly Prep, an expensive private NYC school, has been placed on indefinite leave after reports that he included alcohol, cigars and hookers on a trip to Cuba for students. Meanwhile, have to wonder how many boys have been pleading with their parents to let them apply to the school.

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So the American tourist killed by a lion in the South African Safari Park was taking pictures with all the windows down when she was attacked. Wonder if the lion was hungry, or if big cats too have had enough of selfie sticks?

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Another thought on the woman mauled to death by a lion at a Safari Park. Sad that she died just for rolling down a window. On the other hand, as anyone who has cats knows, you can store their favorite food indefinitely in the house…but open a can where they can smell it, and it’s all over.

 

 

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Not sure about Pepsi?

May 31, 2015

When I asked for a Coke Zero on a plane today, a United flight attendant gave me the entire can, unopened. So are soda cans off the weapons list?

Or is Coke Zero safer than Diet Coke?

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In Takhatpur, India, villagers had a wedding ceremony between two frogs.  They are in the midst of a drought and frog marriages are supposed to invoke the rain gods.  Could be very disappointing for one frog if a kiss turns one of them into a prince or princess.

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Now, if this frog marriage stuff works it opens up all kinds of possibilities for California. But can we have same-sex frog marriages?

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A recycling center in California is looking for a woman who dropped off a vintage Apple Computer. They sold it for $200,000 and want to give her half. Hmm, wonder what I could get for my Blackberry.

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At a Four Seasons in Texas, Johnny Manziel got frustrated with a fan and threw a water bottle at him. Fortunately the situation didn’t escalate any further, as no doubt Manziel’s throw missed the guy by a foot.

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John Kerry, 71, broke his leg in a bike accident in the French Alps. Not sure if the Secretary of State still thinks he’s young enough to be President, but he clearly thinks he’s still young enough to be riding a fancy racing bike..

Apparently Kim Kardashian is pregnant again. And she’s said “It is an adjustment trying to balance a career and motherhood for sure, but the key is to prioritize.” Kim Kardashian has a career?

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Darwin nominee for the week. In Maryland, a man was fatally burned after he lit a cigarette while trying to pump his own gas at a service station. So is this a potential new marketing strategy for electric cars? “We don’t just save the environment.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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The Washington Nationals put Stephen Strasburg on the DL with neck stiffness. Wonder if Strasburg, who had an 2015 ERA of 6.55, strained it by all that turning around to see balls hit off him this season.

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Guess war doesn’t count? Jeb Bush today suggested the budget deficit during his brother’s administration was because W. “let the Republican Congress get a little out of control, in terms of the spending.” But hey, okay, is Jeb suggesting we elect him along with a Democratic House and Senate?

From T.C.   Country star Garth Brooks had to cancel his three shows in Tampa in order to accomodate the NHL Lightning’s Stanley Cup home games. See, this is what happens when you only have friends in low places.

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Taken for a ride?

May 31, 2015

Apparently Walt Disney is considering a surge-pricing model for its U.S. theme parks. As if there wasn’t enough reason that locals in Florida used to refer to it as “Wallet Disney World.’

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What’s next, will Disney offer a way to purchase tickets with adjustable rate loans?

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A Muslim woman who is Associate University Chaplain at Northwestern was denied a unopened can of Diet Coke on a United Express flight because the flight attendant told her “We are unauthorized to give unopened cans to people because they may use it as a weapon on the plane.” Although then the flight attendant gave a man an unopened beer.

Apparently no one at the airline has ever thought about what you could do with a broken wine bottle? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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RIP Lennie Merullo. He was the last living player who played for the Cubs in a World Series. And most Americans are thinking “How’d he make it to 130?”

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For those going through basketball withdrawal, it’s only about 5 days until the start of the NBA finals. And about five weeks until next year’s preseason games start.. ‪#‎LOOOONGseason‬.

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Race driver Tony Kanaan will have Taylor Swift painted on his car for this weekend’s Detroit Belle Isle Grand Prix as part of a promotion with her label. Kanaan hopes Swift will bring him luck, Swift figures that when the partnership falls apart she’ll get a hit song out of it.

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Martin O’Malley is running for President. And the response of most Americans – “who?”

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Paul McCartney, who once spent 10 days in jail for possession of marijuana, told a British newspaper he has given up smoking pot as “a parent thing” because he doesn’t want to set a bad example for his grandchildren. Well, and it’s not there’s a way the kids will ever be able to read about his past…..

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Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are going to have an interview with Megyn Kelly to talk about the molestation allegations with Josh and ‘tears we all shed.” The interview will be June 3, for all those who want to stock up on anti-nausea medication..

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You can’t make this “stuff” up: The man accused of shooting at George Zimmerman is planning to use the “Stand your ground” defense.

 

On a serious note though, truly sorry to hear of the death of Beau Biden, 46, from brain cancer. The U.S has way too many people running for office simply on their last name, but my sense is he could have been a real leader. ‪#‎onlythegooddieyoung‬

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Not quite “I love you, you love me….”

May 30, 2015

Guess they weren’t a happy fam-il-lee…. The son of the creator of Barney the Dinosaur was sentenced to 15 years in prison for losing his temper and shooting his neighbor (who survived) in the chest during an argument. Wonder how many over the years have been tempted to shoot just to get someone else to turn the show off..

 

Sepp Blatter was  re-elected as FIFA’s president on Friday, in a surprisingly easy win, with 133 votes of 209 on the first ballot Have to wonder, what information might Blatter have on some of those voters that could get them added to the arrest total?

 

At the same time we celebrate the winners of the Scripps Spelling Bee wonder how many American kids are growing up thinking “Why bother learning the subject at all when there’s Spellcheck? (And don’t get me started on basic arithmetic. Now you punks get off my lawn.)

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Details are starting to emerge on Dennis Hastert’s “misconduct”. And looks like regarding those who threw stones at Bill Clinton, we’re going to need a bigger glass house.

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With Dennis Hastert, the question of the day is either ” how do so many politicians continue to think they’ll get away with a past? ” Or “how many other hypocrites are out there we haven’t caught yet?”

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Here we go…. Buzzfeed is reporting that that federal prosecutors knew of “prior misdeeds” Hastert committed against potentially several alleged victims that were not included in yesterday’s indictment. You know, Freud was wrong about a lot of things…. but “reaction formation”  he may have nailed.

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LB Prince Shembo was waived by the Atlanta Falcons after he was charged with felony animal cruelty for kicking and killing his girlfriend’s dog. Now, Shembo was drafted in the fourth round by the Falcons in 2014 despite an earlier “incident” where he was accused of sexual battery, but not charged because the alleged victim committed suicide two weeks later.

Sigh. So many people who worry about sexual orientation being a problem in the locker room don’t seem to have a problem with sexual assault…. ‪

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It wasn’t that long ago that many NL teams were sorry to see the ‪#‎HoustonAstros‬ go to the American League because it deprived them of the chance of some easy wins…..

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So how long..?

May 29, 2015

Until the oath of office in Illinois for elected officials includes “Will the defendant please rise?”

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Why should Illinois Democrats have a monopoly on arrests? Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was indicted today on charges of lying to the the FBI about bank withdrawals to avoid federal reporting requirements. The money, in $10,000 was allegedly to pay a single individual for Hastert’s “past bad acts”, and totaled $3.5 million. $3.5 million?!

“Amateur,” sniffed Louisiana politicians.

Why should Illinois Democrats have a monopoly on arrests? Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was indicted today on charges of lying to the the FBI about bank withdrawals to avoid federal reporting requirements. The money, in $10,000 was allegedly to pay a single individual for Hastert’s “past bad acts”, and totaled $3.5 million. $3.5 million?!

“Amateur,” sniffed Louisiana politicians.

 

And okay, my bus to hell friends…. re Hastert, is it too soon to start a pool on what “past bad acts” justify paying $3.5 million to any one single individual? Of course, in the GOP all those “family values” do mean a lot more possibilities.

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Russian President Putin has accused the U.S. of meddling in FIFA affairs because they want to take the World Cup from Russia in 2018. And most Americans are going “There’s a World Cup in 2018?”

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The Chicago Bulls fired their coach saying they wanted a “new culture” after being eliminated in the Eastern Conference semi-finals. And Knicks fans are just weeping.

 

“Bachelor” Chris Soules, the Iowa farmer, and his fiancee, Chicago fertility technician Whitney Bischoff, have called off their engagement. So congratulations to all those who had May 28 in the pool.

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Has he no shame? But I guess we knew that. Ted Cruz, who voted against Hurricane Sandy relief, yesterday called for the “federal government fulfilling its statutory obligations, and stepping in to respond to this natural disaster.”

Considering the way Cruz views Texas in relation to the rest of the U.S. maybe he should be calling for foreign aid?

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After a social media exchange about the possibility of Dumdledore getting married in Ireland, to Gandalf, if he were also gay? Westboro Baptist Church said they would picket such a union JK Rowling’s response “@WBCsigns Alas, the sheer awesomeness of such a union in such a place would blow your tiny bigoted minds out of your thick sloping skulls.” The woman has a way with words.

 

So there’s now an election coming up for the new FIFA president.  Which may be one of the few times when voters are less enthused than for the 2016 US Presidential election.

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The Scripps Spelling Bee ended in a tie this year with co-champions Vanya Shivashankar and Gokul Venkatachalam. Presumably they got to the finals by spelling their own names?

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A.J. Pierzynski back in SF this weekend with the Atlanta Braves. So the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ have won three World Championships since he left. Meaning for Giants’ fans it’s a little like seeing that obnoxious ex after many years, when you’ve done better without him or her. So you’re not bitter. Well, almost….

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From funny friend Jerry Perisho – the most amazing part about the FIFA scandal: “Do you know how hard it is to take $150 million in bribes without using your hands?”

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There’s corruption at FIFA, I’m shocked, shocked…

May 28, 2015

The U.S. case against FIFA apparently involves bribes “totaling more than $100 million” linked to commercial deals dating back to the 1990s for soccer tournaments in the United States and Latin America. $100 million is a lot of money to affect competition. Of course, for comparison ESPN is paying $470 million a year for the college football playoffs….

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FIFA President Sepp Blatter on the arrests “Let me be clear: such misconduct has no place in football and we will ensure that those who engage in it are put out of the game.” So is Blatter resigning?

 

Have to share this from Ryan Duca. “Breaking news. Swiss Police confirm that, when arrested, all seven FIFA officials threw themselves on the ground and pretended to be injured.”

 

 

The ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are 10-2 since their right fielder has returned to the lineup field. Let’s hope MLB doesn’t classify Hunter Pence as a PED.

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The team with the highest batting average in the National League is…. the SF Giants?! ‪#‎whoaretheseguys‬

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ESPN reports NY Mets pitcher Noah Syndergaard “is the 4th pitcher in the last 50 years to throw 7 scoreless innings in a game, while collecting 3 hits, including a HR.” Is this throwing down the gauntlet to Madison Bumgarner?

 

 

The worst division in MLB is unquestionably now the AL East, with even the division  leading Yankees at .532, no better than 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th place in most other divisions, and no one else over .500. But the division does have 3 of the top 10 ten payrolls in baseball. (NY, Boston,Toronto.)  #moneycantbuyhappiness  #orwins

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If the Warriors clinch tonight it will be seven days between the end of the Conference Finals and the beginning of the NBA Finals, the longest layoff ever. Well, I guess the league doesn’t want to give up on the moniker “The Boys of Summer.”

 

Wow. Just wow. Less than 48 hours after he was cut by the Chicago Bears for a third arrest, which he denied was his fault, Ray McDonald was arrested tonight by the Santa Clara Police for violating a restraining order. ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

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An Australian man made the news for spending $37K on a birthday party at a private estate for their daughter. The girl just turned 3. Well, if dad has that kind of money, presumably he can set aside as much or more for future therapy.

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Marco Rubio says of the push to legalize same-sex marriage that “we’ve reached the point in our society where if you do not support same-sex marriage you are labeled a homophobe and a hater.”,… After they are done going after individuals, the next step is to argue that the teachings of mainstream Christianity, the catechism of the Catholic Church is hate speech. And there’s a real and present danger.”

Thinking a bigger “real and present danger” to Christianity these days is people like Marco Rubio…

 

No NBA games to watch now for about a week. And a large number of Americans are going “no what?”

 

Rand Paul today, on GOP Hawks. “ISIS exists and grew stronger because of the hawks in our party who gave arms indiscriminately. And most of those arms were snatched up by ISIS. … Everything that they have talked about in foreign policy, they have been wrong about for 20 years, and yet they have somehow the gall to keep saying and pointing fingers otherwise.” Well, not sure what job Paul is really angling for, but it sure doesn’t appear to be the Republican VP nominee.

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Something missing?

May 26, 2015

The parent company of Pizza Hut and Taco Bell says they will remove all artificial flavors and coloring from their food. What will be left?

 

Texas Governor Greg Abbott last month ordered the State Guard to monitor US military games In the state. So now with the horrific floods will Abbott call President Obama for FEMA, or for foreign aid?

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Apparently tickets were available for game four of the NBA Eastern Conference finals at a reasonable price since Cleveland fans didn’t seem that interested in showing up. Neither apparently did the Atlanta Hawks.

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That video of Stephen Curry’s scary fall Monday night seemed to be on an endless loop on sports shows. And watching, it’s amazing he didn’t break a wrist at least in the tumble. If he hadn’t gone into basketball Curry might have had a real future in men’s gymnastics.

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Three children were injured after a waterspout made landfall at a Fort Lauderdale beach and sent an inflatable bounce house soaring into the air.

It being Florida have to wonder how many people will try to figure out how to put bounce houses in the path of future waterspouts so they can experience flying.

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In his 2002 campaign for Senate, Jim Bob Duggar stated on his website that “rape and incest represent heinous crimes and as such should be treated as capital crimes.” Capital crimes huh? Capital punishment might result in a whole new viewing audience for their show.

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A clip has surfaced from 2008 with Josh Duggar talking about his siblings Jana and John David joining him with his girlfriend on a “double date” and laughingly adding “We are from Arkansas, no?” Once again, where are the religious small business owners refusing to bake cakes for Duggar weddings?

 

Phillies GM Ruben Amaro, on fans who are unhappy with the team. “They don’t understand the game….. And then they b—- and complain because we don’t have a plan. There’s a plan in place and we’re sticking with the plan. We can’t do what’s best for the fan. We have to do what’s best for the organization so the fan can reap the benefit of it later on.”

So what part of the plan involves getting a GM who understands the game?

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Two pitchers have been ejected and suspended over foreign substance on their arms in the last week. Wouldn’t it be simpler for these would-be greasers just to adopt a Brandon Crawford type hairdo? ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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A retired Catholic bishop warned women against practicing yoga, which he said is a “pagan” exercise, and said could be “an occasion of serious sin”  So maybe they should take up a wholesome exercise like pole dancing instead?

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A last post-Memorial Day thought. So many politicians, mostly non-veterans, like to talk about honoring those who made the ultimate sacrifice in war. Would take them more seriously if they honored those brave men and women by only sending more of them into combat as a last resort. ‪#‎YesIamtalkingaboutyouchickenhawks‬

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The IRS says that hackers have accessed over 100,000 taxpayers’ old returns. But IRS Commissioner John Koskinen says “This is not a security breach. Our basic information is secure. These are criminals who had enough data to try and impersonate the taxpayer.” Orwell would be proud.

 

About a five hour drive from Milwaukee, where the Giants were playing tonight, to Minneapolis, where the Red Sox were playing. So did Pablo Sandoval see any of the highlight shows and wonder if he just MIGHT have been having more fun had he stayed put….?

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No sharks needed.

May 25, 2015

Despite warnings of dangerous and potentially life-threatening rip currents, 2 swimmers have died and several hundred more have needed to be rescued from Florida beaches this weekend, more than 400 in Volusia County (Daytona Beach area) alone, Darwin would be so proud.

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Just heard Mike Krukow on TV today refer to Bud Selig as a great commissioner of baseball.  So guess Kruk picked up some brownies during ‪#‎SFGiants‬’  Colorado visit?

 

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San Jose police arrested DE Ray McDonald, at the time a member of the Chicago Bears, on a domestic violence charge. This is turning into a twisted version of “Groundhog Day.”

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The Ray McDonald era in Chicago is over. The Bears cut him later Monday. So now the question…. which team will give him a 4th chance?

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With the most recent arrest of Ray MacDonald, former Gators’ coach Urban Meyer is really solidifying his position as leader of the all-time trouble team. ‪#‎Hernandez‬ ‪#‎MacDonald‬ ‪#‎Harvin‬

 

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Horrible flooding in both Texas and Oklahoma. Forget oil.. Shouldn’t someone be able to figure out a way to build a pipeline for water to California?

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Baltimore Orioles reliever Brian Matusz was suspended 8 games today, after being caught Saturday with a sticky substance on his arm. Considering he was the 2nd pitcher caught in a week, thinking MLB should have tacked on more games for stupidity. ‪#‎maybeheshouldhavetriedsomethingdifferent‬?

 

 

Apparently a lot of mall shoppers were upset by a black and white PacSun t-shirt displayed Monday with an upside-down U.S.flag, saying it was “disrespectful” etc. Although if you really want to honor fallen soldiers on Memorial Day, is going to the mall the best way to do it?

 

Basketball fans across the US hoping Stephen Curry is okay. Even in Cleveland, where they’re thinking Steph should think of his long term health, and just take about a month off. ‪#‎WarriorsvsRockets‬

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After the first quarter ‪#‎HoustonRockets‬ were on pace for 180 in regulation tonight.
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Have to wonder how different things might be in the Western Conference NBA finals if the Houston Rockets had only called a time out at the end of game 2?

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Anyone who says baseball is slow has clearly never watched last minutes of ‪#‎NBA‬ game when fouling is a viable option. ‪#‎warriorsvsrockets‬

 

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Scattered pictures.

May 24, 2015

As this Duggar family saga unfolds have to wonder…. if an African-American family, Christian or not, had tried to cash in on their fertility with a reality show, would they have been turned into Child Protective Services just for having 19 children.

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Roger Federer was upset by a selfie-seeking fan who accosted him on the court after his French Open match today. The young man in question has been barred from the rest of the tournament. Really? So he can’t see a few more matches? You really want to cure this problem, tell fans if they jump on court for pictures, they and their camera may be used for as targets for serving practice.

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Sad to read of the death of Nobel prize winner and “A Beautiful Mind” subject John Nash and his wife in a taxi accident. But you would think someone as brilliant as he was on game theory etc would also have calculated the odds and put on a seatbelt.

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Many viewers just tune into the ‪#‎Indy500‬ for the wrecks. Which is actually the same reason most viewers watch ‪#‎TheBachelorette‬

 

Nine brains were found on a street near train tracks in a village in northern New York village. Hmm, so how many GOP candidates have declared for the Presidency in 2016?

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Some say jockeys aren’t athletes. But thinking it takes more skill to win riding an animal with a mind of its own compared to riding in an expensive high-powered well-tuned car. ‪#‎Indy500‬ ‪#‎TripleCrown‬

 

So today there was a two hour rain delay in Denver today for the Rockies- Giants game. During which time IT DID NOT RAIN.

 

Although in four games this weekend at Coos Field there was a total of over 7 hours of delays,   ‪#‎sowhodecidedtobuildtheColoradoballparkwithnoroofanyway‬?

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The SF Giants have DFA’ed Casey McGehee. So congrats to all those who had May 24 in the pool.

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Best news for most baseball fans about the Yankees’ fourth appearance (and loss) tonight on Sunday Night Baseball against the Rangers. ESPN is contractually obligated not to show any one team more than six Sunday Night games. ‪#‎twomoretogo‬

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Irish “Ayes” are smiling.

May 23, 2015

Ireland is mostly a Catholic country.  And the Irish Constitution contains this phrase: “We, the people of Éire, Humbly acknowledging all our obligations to our Divine Lord, Jesus Christ, Who sustained our fathers through centuries of trial.” And with over 62 % voting in favor of gay marriage,  they’ve decided Jesus was indeed a tolerant guy. ‪#‎Fabulous‬

 

Patriots fans are planning a “Free Tom Brady” rally tomorrow from 11a to1p at Gillette Stadium. It’s described on FB as “a peaceful rally to protest the unjust football arrest of half God half man Tom Brady.” Wow. There must really not be much to do in Foxborough on Memorial Day weekend.

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So on what would have been Bristol’s wedding day, the Palins and her ex-fiance’s family said they are still gathering for a barbecue at the Meyer’s farm in Kentucky. “‘On the year anniversary of our families meeting each other, this weekend is to appreciate both our families’ unconventional, unexpected chapters in exciting lives, with pages turning to more opportunities to live life vibrantly.” Possible translation – both families are thinking “We dodged a bullet.”

(Either that or no one wants to waste food when it’s too late to cancel the caterer?)

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As a make-up doubleheader at Coors Field between Colorado and San Francisco had the first game  delayed over two hours and the second game delayed and almost rained out, MLB has to be thinking what a good thing it is that the Rockies are almost never season contenders.  Add fall and real snow potential  and it might take a month to play the World Series.

 

Unlikely sporting event: The Houston Rockets making it to the NBA Western Conference Finals. Even more unlikely sporting event: Houston fans saying “It’s okay when we lose, we still have the Astros.”

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The minor-league Florida Stone Crabs planned “A-Rod Juice Box Night” tonight, where the first 500 fans got a free juice box, and any fans bringing A-Rod T-shirts, hats or other merchandise to be donated to the Salvation Army could get a free ticket. Alas it was cancelled after protests from the Yankees, whose spokesman said “We have taken many steps in last few hours to get them to cease and desist.” No doubt many many $tep$.

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Atlanta’s Kent Bazemore, whose Hawks team is down 2-0 to the Cleveland Cavaliers – “I still think we’re the better team.” Thinking there were a lot of teams who were “better” than the SF Giants last year too.

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In Cleveland, a white police officer was acquitted of manslaughter in a 2012 case where two unarmed black suspects whose car backfired while speeding past police headquarters were fatally shot in a 137-shot barrage. Because 140 or 150 shots would have been excessive force?

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This would be funny if it weren’t so awful. An Arkansas state judge told police on Thursday to destroy the 2006 offense report on Josh Duggar. Mike Huckabee, who is publicly defending the family says the “victims wanted this left in the past,” so the destruction was “not to protect Josh, but the innocent victims.” ‪#‎JesusREALLYwept‬

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TLC Family Values

May 22, 2015

TLC has apparently cancelled “19 Kids and Counting.”

 

And from the Duggar family, this direct quote from Josh’s statement. “I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life.”

HIS life? But hey, the girls he molested, they would grow up fine with enforced future purity and “side hugs” ‪#‎sickpuppy‬

 

Waiting for the first owners of a small business to say it goes against their religious values to bake a cake for a Duggar family wedding. #duggars

 

Bus to hell moment.  Wonder if the “19 kids” in the title referred to Josh’s tally.

 

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Some times the best quotes come from the oddest places. This is from Mama June Shannon, Honey Boo Boo’s mom, whose family TLC show was canceled last fall after reports that she was dating a convicted child molester. “”I read that the Duggar family said this happening with their son brought them closer to God and each other. So they’re saying it’s ok to have family touch time? Hell no.”

 

Seahawks’ DE Michael Bennett says that playing for coach Pete Carroll “is like playing for Willy Wonka.” Well, except for at the end of the movie, Willy Wonka handed off the factory.

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Michael Sam has signed with the CFL Alouettes and says he wants to bring a Grey Cup to Montreal. Give Sam credit, at least he knows what the Grey Cup is.

 

The San Francisco 49ers and San Diego Chargers first preseason game Sept 3 at Levi’s Stadium is now on Goldstar for half-price. But many fans may want to wait to see how much the teams will offer to pay them to show up.

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Chris Christie now says the media owes him an apology over Bridgegate. Or what, he’ll close New Jersey Transit so they can’t get to work?

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Disney World is trying to crack down on people who use selfie-sticks on rides at their theme parks. Ah, for a machine that could just randomly grab sticks while rides are in operation and throw them and their users off…

 

Kyrie Irving was out for Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals with left knee tendinitis. Sounds like we are getting ever closer to an NBA version of that baseball cartoon, with LeBron James channeling Bugs Bunny and playing all the positions.

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LA GM Mitch Kupchak says the 2015-16 season will be Bryant’s last with the Lakers “He has indicated to me that this is it.” Kobe has one year and $25 million left on his contract. So is Bryant retiring? Or just not happy with the idea of actually being paid in future for what he is now worth.

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From Marc Ragovin;  “Pete Townshend turned 70 the other day. So now instead of singing “Who Are Your?” it’s “Who Am I?”

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No most lists?

May 20, 2015

The last “Late Show with David Letterman” ended Wednesday, after 33 years.   The most amazing thing for the younger generation, that to watch the show you once actually had to stay up “Late Night.”

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33 years ago…. to put that in perspective,  half as long as Vin Scully has been announcing.

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In 1982 the Chicago Cubs were only in a 74 year World Series drought.

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Police said they found about 1,000 weapons were found at the Twin Peaks restaurant in Waco after the shootout last weekend. Well gosh, I can certainly see why Texas lawmakers are pushing to loosen the state’s gun laws…..

 

 

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George Clooney said last night on Jimmy Kimmel that his wife Amal isn’t always happy with his style of dress – “There is that moment when I’ve worn the same T-shirt like for a week that she says, ‘Really?'” Well, okay, so he’s a bit of slob. Millions of heartbroken women can now feel they’ve dodged a bullet.

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You can’t make this stuff up. Virginia State Senate candidate Joe Morrissey, 57, denied allegations of a sexual relationship with his 17 year old secretary in 2013, but accepted a plea bargain with a six-month jail sentence on a misdemeanor charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He’s now been released, after being re-elected while in jail, and confirms he is the father of a 9-week-old baby with the young woman. (This makes four children by four different women.)

Well, give the guy credit, at least he’s not running on a family values platform.

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NY Daily News headline “Double-decker tour bus fatally slams into elderly woman in Morningside Heights” The woman was 68! 68?!!. Heck, had she been a man she’d be about the right age to play for the San Antonio Spurs. (and too young to play with the Rolling Stones.)

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The Warriors’ Stephen Curry has been fined $5,000 by the NBA for flopping last night against the Rockets. Actually, these fines aren’t for flopping…they’re just for flopping clumsily enough to get caught.

–

Two New Jersey DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) have been charged with illegally moonlighting by operating a strip club on the side. Maybe they had aspirations of joining the Secret Service?

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A Norwegian Cruise Line ship that ran aground in Bermuda yesterday has been refloated back into the water. No word on what NCL might do regarding compensation for the passengers. If they were an airline they’d probably charge for an extra stop.

 

In the NHL, the Toronto Maple Leafs lured coach Mike Babcock away from Detroit with a 8 year, $50 million contract. It might not have just been the money. Don’t disregard not having to worry about all that stressful playoff pressure.

 

There may be better pitchers at ‪#‎ATTPark‬ for ‪#‎SFGiants‬, including a World Series MVP. But will any be more loved than ‪#‎TimLincecum‬? ‪#‎Timmy‬

 

A new study shows that for the past 10 years the worst airport in the summer for on-time flight arrivals is Newark, with only 64.5% of flights arriving on schedule. On the brighter side, 35.5% of passengers thus had less time than they expected in New Jersey.

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Speculation now that the Obamas may move to New York City after they leave the White House. Though wonder if the $30 million that the Clintons have earned in the last year or so would be enough these days to buy a Manhattan apartment.

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Aaron Hernandez was apparently involved in a prison fight on Monday. So congrats to all those who had May 18 in the pool.

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Former senator John Glenn, 93, saying he believes evolution should be taught in schools. “I don’t see that I’m any less religious by the fact that I can appreciate the fact that science just records that we change with evolution and time, and that’s a fact. It doesn’t mean it’s less wondrous and it doesn’t mean that there can’t be some power greater than any of us that has been behind and is behind whatever is going.”
At 93, Glenn is better on that question than many current presidential candidates….

 

 

Thought for the night forwarded by an anonymous friend “I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself .”

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Ruled out?

May 20, 2015

The NFL is apparently about to change the Point After Touchdown (PAT) rule. Oakland Raiders fans are asking “The what?”

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Former Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson is transferring to Florida State and will play for the Seminoles next year. Well, at least he won’t have to worry anymore about being suspended for “poor academic judgment.”

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ESPN is reporting that the NFL and New England Patriots are having “back-channel conversations” to see if they can settle Deflategate differences without an appeal or litigation. Translation, so Brady can play against the Cowboys in week 4, and Kraft and Goodell can still have dinner together….

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Patriots owner Bob Kraft said the team will not appeal the NFL fine and loss of draft picks over Deflategate. Meaning there’s probably a deal to reduce Brady’s suspension. And what’s $1 million anyway. The Pats can always raise beer prices.

–

To boost sales, KFC is bringing back Colonel Sanders, and coming out with a fancier restaurant design. What’s next, actually spending money to improve the quality of their food?

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The minor league baseball Fresno Grizzlies have joined the creative ballpark food bandwagon with “Frankenslice” – a pizza with hot dogs wrapped in the crust. Does it come with a discount coupon for an EKG?

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UPS will reportedly pay $25 million in claims for falsifying “on-time” claims for ten years. And the airlines are thinking “You can do that?”

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Walmart’s income $1.03 a share in the first quarter, when analysts had expected $1.05 a share. And the company blamed it partly on higher raising worker wages to at least $9 a hour. The company ended up only making $3.1 billion. Wonder if Walmart sells violins so we can get them out and play them….

 

A Rasmussen poll says 46% of voters want George Stephanopoulos banned after t came out that he donated $75,000 to the Clinton Foundation. Okay, maybe not a smart move but did any one actually think the former Clinton staffer was unbiased before? (Maybe about as many as actually believe “Fair and balanced.”)

 

Bryce Harper has 10 home runs in the last 12 games. Even Barry Bonds is thinking “Who’d be idiotic enough to throw him a strike?”

 

So after the Waco biker shootings, Texas is moving ahead with an “Open Carry” bill that will LOOSEN handgun laws, with leglislators saying things like the law had nothing to do with the shooting and it’s not as if the current law stopped them. ‪#‎Whatcouldpossiblyhavebeenworse‬? ‪#‎Whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬

 

#‎Knicks‬ fall to #4 in the ‪#‎NBADraft‬. Karmic punishment for being stupid enough to beat the ‪#‎Hawks‬ and ‪#‎Spurs‬ down the stretch.

 

 

Of course, it’s all relative. The worst-in-the-league ‪#‎Timberwolves‬ got the 1st pick in the ‪#‎NBADraft‬ but already had Rookie of the Year Andrew Wiggins. Meanwhile the last time the ‪#‎Spurs‬ had a lottery pick they took a young man named ‪#‎TimDuncan‬. ‪#‎alonglongtimeago‬

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We didn’t start the fire…. but we wish we had.

May 17, 2015

 

So since Friday, when the smokestacks topped with bats caught fire at Great American Ball Park, the SF Giants have scored 30 runs in three games. Is it time to do a sacrificial bat bonfire out in the Coke Bottle at AT&T Park?

 

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Getting the feeling that they had to have to pry ‪#‎SFGiants‬ hitters kicking & screaming out of the Cincinnati visitor’s clubhouse

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A teenager fortunately escaped with non-life threatening injuries after being gored while posing for a picture with a bison a few feet away. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised to know the teen is female. ‪#‎equalopportunityDarwin

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Sunday was is “Bay to Breakers” in San Francisco. In many ways a quaint reminder of the days when California used to be considered the craziest state in the U.S.

 

 

That ‪#‎Romney‬ ‪#‎Holyfield‬ charity boxing match just may have had more action than ‪#‎Mayweather‬ ‪#‎Pacquaio‬

 

Henry Cisneros said today he thought Hillary Clinton would choose former San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro as her running mate. You’ll know the rumors are serious when some in the GOP start making noises about Castro’s birth certificate.

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Bernie Sanders today on CNN denied he would be a “spoiler” in the 2016 race, and added “Maybe I shouldn’t say this: I like Hillary Clinton, I respect Hillary Clinton” But also asked if the media would “allow us to have a serious debate. Or is the only way you get media attention by ripping apart somebody else”

Besides being a self proclaimed “Democratic socialist,” Sanders is clearly too reasonable to ever be elected President.

 

Jeb Bush just joined with those who say that Christian business owners should not have to provide services for gay weddings “absolutely, if it’s based on a religious belief.”

I’d take Jeb and any of his fellow candidates more seriously if they would also come out and defend the right of those same business owners to reject wedding services where both parties haven’t remained virgins until marriage, or where one or both have been previously divorced….

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So it’s becoming closer to unanimous amongst U.S.Presidential candidates that the Iraq War might have been a mistake. Now wonder who will be the first to admit there might be issues with the statement “The world is a better place without Saddam Hussein.” ‪#‎Isis‬ ‪#‎forstarters‬–

Kobe and company would like to thank the ‪#‎Clippers‬ for their gallant effort in  contesting the ‪#‎Lakers‬ for this year’s most embarrassing story at Staples Center

 

Rut ro, from Marc Ragovin ” The good news: Charlotte Brown, a blind pole vaulter, won a bronze model at a recent track meet by clearing the bar at 11’6″. The bad news: her guide dog, Vador, will no longer be able to have puppies.”

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Oh brother.

May 17, 2015

As Jeb Bush fumbles his way around the Iraq question, have to wonder if Jimmy Carter is quietly thinking “And they said MY brother was an embarrassing liability.”

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Russian President Vladimir Putin apparently scored 8 goals while playing in an exhibition hockey game with former NHL players. Not to be outdone, Kim Jong Un reported scoring 16 goals in a game after using an anti-aircraft gun on the goalie.

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#‎FAOSchwarz‬‘s flagship store in New York is closing. For many of us, especially ‪#‎TomHanks‬ fans, that’s a ‪#‎Big‬ loss.

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American Pharoah has a misspelled name. These days does that make him truly America’s horse?

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Walt Disney World is opening an Indiana Jones Themed bar and restaurant. Not sure all the entrees, but will one of them have to be snake?

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It’s May 17. Which means we are only a month and two days away from a potential game 7 in the NBA finals No joke. ‪#‎andtheysaythebaseballseasonistoolong

 

Happiest people besides Houston Rockets fans after the Los Angeles Clippers’ collapse in game six? Advertisers for the fourth quarter of game seven. Regardless of the score, NO ONE is going to turn the game off early.

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When asked if their hockey team could win the Stanley Cup most New Yorkers answer “Yes.” Most Floridians answer “We have a hockey team?”

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Full credit to whoever was in charge of music at Great American Ballpark last night. While the smokestack burned they played “We Didn’t Start The Fire.”

 

Meanwhile , so all that the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ were missing to turn into an offensive juggernaut was for someone to set a fire in the outfield?

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-A US raid has killed a major ISIS commander. Finally something the GOP won’t blame on Obama.

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Elizabeth Warren at the Anaheim Convention Center with one of the best summation of the 2016 GOP Presidential candidates:  Some of them took too many rides on the tea cups across the street.

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Anti-vaccine protestors outside the California Democratic convention have a number of signs. Including one that says the Republicans are against mandatory childhood vaccinations. And a number of Democratic candidates are thinking “Can we borrow that sign?”

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The Clintons have apparently made $30 million in the last 16 months. “Slackers,” sniffed Mitt Romney.

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Some Republicans are blasting Bill and Hillary Clinton for making $30 million mostly off speeches. At least they think Chelsea will make her money the American way – by inheriting it.

 

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn:  ” At a Connecticut golf course, a man in one group ahead brandished a gun on a second group behind who complained that they were moving too slow and demanded to play through. This gives new meaning to ‘approach shot’.”

(wonder if he was on vacation from Florida)

 

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On fire?

May 16, 2015

cincy

So all it really took for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ bats to heat up in Cincinnati is for the ballpark to catch fire?

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As we approach the 2016 election many Americans are supporting Jeb hoping he won’t repeat his brother’s presidency.. Or supporting Hillary hoping she will repeat her husband’s. ‪#‎Itsallrelative‬

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A new study sponsored by Microsoft found that humans now have shorter attention spans than goldfish. Oh look, a kitten….

 

As a regular driver on the bus to hell, still have to wonder, what if we could have only sent critically injured and now convicted Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s to a random HMO hospital, maybe we wouldn’t be facing the current death penalty controversy?

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I understand that vigilante justice is a bad idea, and I understand that jury trials are a right. But how many millions of dollars did we spend saving the life of Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, and on his trial, and how many more millions will be spent on the death penalty appeals.?

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A new study sponsored by Microsoft found that humans now have shorter attention spans than goldfish. Oh look, a kitten….

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Fox News guest Gavin Mcinnes: “The big picture here is, women do earn less in America because they choose to… They’re less ambitious, and I think this is sort of God’s way, this is nature’s way of saying women should be at home with the kids — they’re happier there.” So which GOP Presidential candidate will hire McInnes first as a cultural adviser?

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So apparently Dakota Meyer, Bristol Palin’s fiance, married another woman in 2008. No word on when they split up. But just wondering, would Sarah and others in the GOP support a religious bakery owner’s right not to make a cake for a divorced man?

 

So now there are rumors, rumors only, that Bristol Palin’s fiance may STILL be married to another woman. As someone who tries to be a decent human being, I hope the rumors are wrong. As a bus to hell comedy writer….

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Hoping for ‪#‎PaulPierce‬‘s sake that during last brilliant 3-point shot attempt he didn’t pause for a split second to call “game.” ‪#‎ATLvsWAS‬

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So the Stanford Band has been banned from 2015 road trips, for off-field infractions including “an annual trip in which some band members used illegal substances.” Am sure it’s just coincidence that this year’s Cardinal away games include visits to Colorado and Washington State.

 

So some outrage over ABC’s George Stephanopoulos having contributed to the Clinton Foundation. Guess I missed the outrage from the same folks over Fox News’ Rupert Murdoch’s and Roger Ailes’s donations?

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Smoke and mirrors?

May 13, 2015

A new Johns Hopkins University of Medicine study found that new stronger strains of marijuana could cause people exposed to second-hand smoke to test positive for pot drug in a urine analysis. Was this study sponsored by the NFL Players Association?

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Corey Kluber, 113 pitches, 8 inning one-hit shutout, 18 strikeouts! And Indians took him out of game. ‪#‎oldschoolpitchersareweeping‬

But hey, it’s about pitch counts now. And we all know pitch counts make a big difference in pitchers’ health, because so few young players are getting injured these days and/or needing surgery…. Oops, never mind.

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Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, in support of Roger Goodell and his Deflategate decision: “I think he’s doing a great job, and I’m a big supporter of his. … I know one of his best qualities is fairness.” Translation. Either Romo likes hard footballs, or Jones knows he handles his balls himself.

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Former FSU coach Bobby Bowden, 85, on Jameis Winston “I think it’s a consensus amongst Florida State fans and boosters that he was an embarrassment in a lot of ways to the university.” Sigh, Bowden was a great coach. But memory is one of the first things to go. ‪#‎FreeShoesUniversity‬

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A couple who was convicted of “lewd and lascivious exhibition” for having sex on a crowded beach with children around not only faces jail time, they must register as sex offenders. Right, because their display was almost as bad as what many American children see every night on television?

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The Arizona attorney general’s office has filed charges against a woman who in 2010 faked having cancer to get an abortion. Agree that it was wrong. But imagine what kind of mother she would have made.

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Searchers looking for Malaysia Airlines flight 370 in the Indiana Ocean have discovered a 19th century shipwreck. Stand by for the CNN special talking about if it’s a cruise ship.

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A small detail that got lost in last night’s SF Giants 8-1 win over the Astros. Nori Aoki was originally called safe at first, but the call was overturned quickly after a video review. The first base umpire? Jim Joyce. ‪#‎Fiveyearstoolate‬ ‪#‎ArmandoGalarraga‬

 

 

In Wisconsin, the state assembly passed bills mandating drug tests for welfare recipients, and requiring that monthly stipends be used for healthy foods. Okay, fine, can we also drug test Wisconsin assembly members, and require them to use their $88 a DAY living expenses on healthy food too?

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So American Idol has been cancelled in part because of what some call WGWG (“White guys with guitars) syndrome. Where the winners are cute WGWG’s who may win votes from mostly young female viewers, but never amount to anything. And what do they do for their penultimate final? Send the girl rocker home in favor of two WGWGs

 

 

 

Why people who aren’t in the travel industry shouldn’t write travel articles: A SF Chronicle story from Business Insider on the “best Hawaiian islands for every type of traveler” says “Best for honeymooners – Lanai” – …” “a perfect destination for honeymooners who are seeking privacy and seclusion. Since the island’s two Four Seasons Resorts are currently closed to the public for renovations, visitors can enjoy more seclusion and fewer tourists.

Uh, yes, since the ONLY two major hotels on the island are closed, and the ONLY hotel open is the funky Hotel Lanai with 11 rooms, there’s plenty of seclusion…..

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M Gone Blue.

May 12, 2015

Dennis Norfleet, Michigan’s all-time leader in kick returns and kick return yards has been dismissed from the program over a disciplinary issue with new coach Jim Harbaugh. Shall we start a pool with which SEC team Norfleet will end up?

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Jim Harbaugh and Michigan have self-reported four minor violations to the NCAA. One of them, that he sent an autographed helmet and jersey to a high school auction benefiting a scholarship fund. (Which apparently Jim didn’t know was illegal.) Really good to see that the NCAA is focused on the important things.

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Verizon is buying AOL. In hopes that finally two wrongs do make a right?

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So apparently in yesterday’s apparent road rage incident involving George Zimmerman, both Zimmerman and the man who allegedly shot him -resulting in minor injuries -had guns with them at the time. And Darwin is thinking “Missed a two-fer by THAT much”

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Tom Brady’s agent has accused Ted Wells of running a biased “sting” investigation on “Deflategate”, and Wells has fired back defending himself and the report. I’m wondering how long until one of the fired Patriots’ employees decides to supplement his severance pay with a book deal…..‪#‎whenyoureinaholestopdigging‬?

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Today President Obama’s Tuesday fast-track trade deal was stalled in the Senate….by Democrats. And over at Fox News heads are exploding. ‪#‎dowehavetopickaside‬?

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Just got a pre-sale notice for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular. So is it time for stores to start decorating?

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The U.K. Daily Mail is reporting that the real reason Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods split up is that she found out he cheated on her. “I can’t believe Tiger would do that” said nobody.

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A woman gave birth on an AIr Canada flight to Japan, and said she hadn’t even known she was pregnant. Another graduate of “Abstinence only” education?

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Donald Trump has apparently TRADEMARKED the slogan “Make America Great Again” for his Presidential campaign. Is he trying to top “Mission Accomplished?”

 

Per Duane Kuiper, ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are hitting 5 for 26 with the bases loaded in 2015. Matt ‪#‎Duffy‬ with the bases loaded is 3 for 4. ‪#‎McGehee‬ who?

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The SF Giants have a much maligned farm system.  But starting today. Pitcher Chris Heston, catcher Buster Posey, first baseman Brandon Belt, second baseman Joe Panik, shortshop Brandon Crawford, and third baseball Matt Duffy. Every single one of them home-grown talent.

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MLB has tightened security for its game balls after Deflategate. Angels pitcher C.J. Wilson commented “Obviously, there’s not as much that you can do to baseballs. I mean, you can’t change the density of the baseball at any point — unless you dunk them in water. Then they’re going to be 9 ounces, and everyone’s going to blow their arms out.” Hmm. wonder how he knew that?

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Lindsay Lohan, who still has more than half of her 250 mandated community service hours to go from a 2013 reckless driving conviction, apparently missed her first day Tuesday at a Brooklyn preschool. This could really put her in jeopardy with Hollywood’s “37 strikes and you’re out” policy.

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Ball bustered?

May 12, 2015

Tom Brady has been suspended four games for “Deflate-gate.” So which reporter wants to take his/her life into their hands and ask Giselle what she thinks of it?

 

 

 

Four game suspension for Tom Brady. Does this mean Roger Goodell is playing hardball?

 

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So I guess when it comes to ‪#‎Patriots‬ coach and GM ‪#‎BillBelichick‬ ignorance IS an excuse. ‪#‎Saints‬ ‪#‎Ignoranceisnoexcuse‬ ‪#‎SeanPayton‬

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Last game of Brady’s suspension – against the Dallas Cowboys. His first start of 2015 will thus be against the Indianapolis Colts. Who are thinking…. the NFL couldn’t have just made it four games starting AFTER the season opener?

 

Meanwhile, Aaron Hernandez, already serving a life sentence without possibility of parole, has now been charged with trying to silence a witness in a double murder case against him by shooting him in the face and leaving him for dead. In addition to being charged with those two murders.

If Hernandez isn’t careful Roger Goodell will really throw the book at him.

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Reports say that Chris Christie spent $82,000 at Jets/Giants games at MetLife Stadium between 2010 and 2011. Well, to be fair, at NFL prices that’s probably only a few dozen beers.

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Fox has announced that American Idol’s next season will be its last. Shocking. American Idol is still on?

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Ryan Seacrest is being asked by many in the media how he feels about American Idol’s impending cancellation. Surprised he isn’t answering “You’ll find out after the break.”

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Breaking headline Monday “George Zimmerman involved in shooting in Florida, police say” So congratulations to all those who had May 11 in the pool.

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As part of Carly Fiorina’s Presidential campaign she is touting her leadership experience at Hewlett Packard. Isn’t that like JaMarcus Russell touting his leadership experience with the Oakland Raiders?-

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So I’ve made jokes about one-and-done basketball players not being able to count. But hey, after yesterday’s Bulls-Cavs game most of them are thinking “Well we can at least count to SIX.” ‪#‎DavidBlatt‬ ‪#‎timeout‬

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Apparently Cleveland coach David Blatt had something different in mind for the end of yesterday’s playoff game, but LeBron James said ““The play that was drawn up, I scratched. I just told coach, just give me the ball” “Damn, you can DO that!?” said Marshawn Lynch.

 

 

“Reality TV Star” Kristin Cavallari just announced she is expecting her 3rd child with Jay Cutler. So sounds like the Chicago QB at least is completing some passes at home.

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Sticking with Mother’s Day

May 11, 2015

 

Okay, so it’s been a few years.  My son’s first Mother’s Day at Candlestick Park. #raisinghimright

mothersday

 

Meanwhile, SF Giants fans and players would like to thank Matt Duffy for his game-winning RBI today. Because who really wanted to play 15 innings and not only be late for Mother’s Day dinner, but be at the ballpark after they’d cut off beer etc sales after seven innings…

 

 

Maybe this man really doesn’t want to be President? Jeb Bush today on Fox News said he also would have invaded Iraq in 2003, “I would have [authorized the invasion], and so would have Hillary Clinton, just to remind everybody. And so would almost everybody that was confronted with the intelligence they got,”

 

Isn’t Jeb Bush reminding voters that he would have authorized the Iraq invasion like Hillary Clinton reminding voters that her husband would have input into choosing interns?

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So a new DOT ruling as of last Friday allows airlines to back out of “mistake” fares, when an error in loading prices means consumers are able briefly to book tickets for a few dollars. Alas, when consumers make a mistake and book the wrong flight or date, we’re still SOL. ‪#‎toerrishumantoforgiveisnotairlinepolicy‬

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A 13-year Harvard University study of 20,000 women found that those who drank half a bottle of wine a day had a 70 % reduced risk of obesity compared to non-drinkers. For all those who didn’t already have enough reason for a Mother’s Day toast!

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Mother’s Day in the NBA. Another reason for players to want their teams to go deep into the playoffs. Being busy eliminates those tough decisions about which of their children’s moms to take to brunch.

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SNL opening skit Saturday night focused on the GOP 2016 Presidential contenders. But really, how could SNL have the hubris to imagine they could come up with anything funnier and more absurd than the candidates themselves?

 

From Alex Kaseberg,  “Happy Mother’s Day. May your Mother’s Day not be nearly as confusing as it is for Kylie and Kendall Jenner.”

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