Posted tagged ‘taco bell jokes’

School daze

August 24, 2015

Apparently a number of incoming Duke freshman refused to read the graphic novel “Fun Home” which was part of their summer reading list, saying the sexuality conflicted with their Christian beliefs.

And I’m sure all of those young men and women will be home studying this fall rather than attending fraternity parties.

The Sigma Nu fraternity at Old Dominion has been suspended after posting banners on their house during Freshman orientation.  “ROwdy anD Fun, hope your baby girl is ready for a good time.”   “Freshman daughter drop off”  and “Go ahead and drop Mom off too.’    Are they being suspended for being offensive, or for being stupid enough to put up the banners, in a social media age, before parents had even left?

(My friend Dean Harpster comments –  “In this day and age, I think we should just be thankful they spelled everything right.”)

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USC has apparently just banned alcohol from their football locker room. Wait?! USC HAD alcohol in their locker room?! Your move, SEC.

A number of USC players are reportedly unconcerned about not having booze in the locker room any more. As they think the Trojans always played better on grass.

Australian former rugby star Jarryd Hayne looks likely to make the SF 49ers roster after an impressive pre-season game tonight. How long until Donald Trump complains about yet another immigrant taking a job from Americans

The Green Bay Packers announced that Jordy Nelson’s knee injury on Sunday will be season-ending. So who says NFL pre-season games are meaningless?

Consumer Reports says that tests show conventional ground beef is twice as likely as “sustainably sourced ground beef” to contain antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Well, Taco Bell patrons are safe. ‪#‎noactualbeef‬

So some Republicans are both mocking Obama for wasting fuel by flying 14,000 miles on a climate change tour and still saying there is no climate change problem. ‪#‎pickaside‬

North Korea and South Korea have reacted an agreement to de-escalate tensions and North Korea says it “regrets” that South Korean soldiers were injured by landmines. Can we blame Obama? Or Dennis Rodman?

The NFL and ESPN have condemned comments that just came to light from analyst Cris Carter to players at the 2014 NFL Rookie Symposium – saying to have a “fall guy in your crew” in case you get into trouble.
Because Carter was wrong, or because he should have said it to more players?.

American runner Emily Huddle was about to win the Bronze medal at the 10,000 metre race World Championship in Beijing, when she started celebrating one step too soon and was passed by a teammate. On the brighter side, Huddle probably got a consolation phone call from Leon Lett.

FSU’s Dalvin Cook, was found not guilty on a misdemeanor battery charge for allegedly punching a woman in the face outside a Tallahassee bar this June. Last October the Seminoles’ star freshman RB was charged with criminal mischief after a BB gun incident, and in November was cited by Animal Services after chaining three puppies together by the neck.

Cook remains suspended but after the acquittal coach Jimbo Fisher will no doubt try to teach the young man a lesson by reinstating him only after the first quarter against Texas State.

Dino-soaring.

June 13, 2015

” Jurassic World’ apparently had the third-largest movie opening day of all time. When movie-goers were asked afterwards what they thought of the plot, almost all of them responded – “Plot?”

 

 

 

The College World Series started today. What a shame that the Philadelphia Phillies just missed qualifying.

 

Bristol Palin has posted a harsh criticism of Miley Cyrus’s post about intolerance. Thereby assuring that millions of people might actually READ Cyrus’s post about intolerance.

(my friend Alex wonders who read the post to Bristol.)

Country singer Randy Howard, 65, was killed this weekend in a gunfight with bounty hunter. What a shame, had Howard lived the incident would have been great material for a country song.

At Boise Airport, passengers on an Allegiant Air flight smelled fuel and saw vapor that they thought was smoke so they popped the emergency doors and evacuated. (It was a small fuel leak and the plane was in no danger.) But doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy that passengers have the ability to open emergency doors?

Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe “may” have “accidentally” posted a Snapchat of herself and a man in bed, therefore revealing the winner of the show about six weeks ahead of schedule. Give the woman credit, with her name, talent for publicity and headlines, Kaitlyn could be an honorary Kardashian.

Pablo Sandoval left today’s Red Sox loss to the Blue Jays with tightness in his quad. His status is listed as “day-to-day-and-keep-that-man-out-of-the-North-End.”

Still seems a bit odd when you hear about ‪#‎NBA‬ team going to a small lineup and they’re still all over about 6’6″. ‪#‎NBAFinals‬ ‪#‎Warriors‬ ‪#‎Cavs‬

In Texas, some residents are upset because a History network series “Texas Rising” isn’t completely historically accurate. Wonder how many of these people also want schools to teach creationism.

The U.S. Justice Department is investigating possible bribes and corruption in Nike’s 1996 deal to sponsor soccer in Brazil. Right. Not like Nike would ever dare do anything wrong at home in the good old U S of A.

Monica Lewis, the voice of Chiquita Banana, has died at 93. And if you don’t have that stupid jingle running through your head now you’re not a baby boomer….

Taco Bell will be opening a new location in SF that will serve beer and wine. Makes some sense, enough beer and/or wine, and customers won’t notice the food.

From Bill Littlejohn, after a skunk’s nest being found in the Cardinals dugout at Dodger Stadium: “Did St. Louis manager Mike Matheny say he needed a spray hitter?”