Posted tagged ‘McDonalds jokes’

Houston, where are we?

February 22, 2017

The Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum is sending the Apollo 11 Command Module on a tour around the U.S. to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the moon landing. 50 years?! Wow. Assume the capsule will travel cross country with its left blinker on.

After receiving a new NCAA notice of allegations that brings the total to 21, Ole Miss officials announced they are self-imposing a one-year bowl ban for the 2017 season.
What a shame after their great 2016 bowl appearance…. oh, wait, they were 5-7. Never mind.

 

Rumors are that Kirk Cousins might be traded from the Redskins to the 49ers. Would be the owner equivalent of going from one frying pan into a younger frying pan.

 

In April, McDonald’s will have a promotion where all soft drinks, even the extra-large size, will be only $1. Using the restroom, however, may be $5.

“7 Earth-size planets found orbiting nearby star” How long until Trump takes credit for making galaxy great again. HUGE

 

So this intentional walk change in MLB is for real. Got a better idea with same time results, let the pitcher still throw his 4 pitches, but take one of the between-inning commercials and put it on half the screen. Then shorten one of those breaks. #dontmesswithbaseball

Kellyanne Conway hasn’t been seen lately. Wonder if she’s in the same “undisclosed location” they used to put Dick Cheney?

From Politico article talking to Trump associates “Leaving him alone for several hours can prove damaging, because he consumes too much television and gripes to people outside the White House.”
So basically Twitter has become his way of screaming “You punks get off my lawn?”

If protestors were paid as often as @POTUS & @PressSec seem to think they are, they’d be rich enough to vote GOP.

Pence says GOP will bring “individual responsibility back to American health care.” In other words, if you’re sick it’s your responsibility.

So if transgender bathrooms are a states’ rights issue, does that mean that, for example, marijuana is too?

 

As much as some conservatives freak out, guessing most have been in bathrooms with transgenders & HAVEN’T EVEN NOTICED.

 

It’s as dangerous to allow trans kids in school bathrooms  as it was to visit Bowling Green during the massacre. #ProtectTransKids

 

Reportedly six White House staffers left last week after failing FBI background checks. Considering some of the stories on those who DID make it through, even to the Cabinet, you do have to wonder what these guys did.

 

 

Marc Ragovin FTW

Lakers President Jeanie Buss has fired her brother Jim because of the team’s poor record. “Amateur,” said Kim Jong-Un

Why is this day and night different?

April 22, 2016

#‎HappyPassover‬. You know you’re in California when a woman in checkout line is whining about not being able to find gluten-free Matzoh.

 

Toronto Blue Jays Chris Colabello has been suspended 80 games for PED’s. Uh, considering Colabello was batting .069 this year, it’s hard to see how his performance was enhanced.

 

 

In Tennessee, the wife of a high school football coach has been arrested for allegedly sleeping with an underage player. Hmm, did she aspire to be a teacher?

Commissioner Adam Silver said that a “change in the law” would be necessary for the NBA to keep the 2017 All-Star game in North Carolina. Just wondering, leaving the advertising $$$ out of it, wonder if another factor was players and celebrities not exactly clamoring to spend All-Star week in Charlotte.

 

Amazing, almost two days of nonstop coverage of the death of ‪#‎Prince‬, and no one has yet blamed it on Obama.

 

When President Obama and Michelle met the Queen and Prince Phillip at Windsor Castle, Philip drove the foursome 400 yards from the helicopter landing pad to the castle itself. Presumably the whole way with his left blinker on?

 

A Palm Beach zoo is defending itself against some who say they should have fatally shot the tiger who killed a zookeeper instead of tranquilizing it. But come on, the tiger was just standing its ground.

McDonald’s sales are way up this year after the introduction of all-day breakfast. And I’m sure it’s just coincidence that this coincides with some states legalizing marijuana.

Who says I never say anything nice about a Dodger? Brandon McCarthy has been in a Twitter argument with Curt Schilling over the bathroom issue, pointing out “What is stopping any pervert from already going into a bathroom not designated for them and doing what they want? Nothing,” And “Curt we’re talking about human beings with emotions and a desire to be accepted in normal society. Lumping them in w/ molesters and abusers is offensive to not only them but to a reasonable argument.” ‪#‎wellplayed‬

 

So while Curt Schilling is going off on the danger of transgenders in women’s bathrooms has he forgotten that the highest profile sports-related (alleged) bathroom sexual assault upon a woman involved Ben Roethlisberger?

Meanwhile, across the pond, the British Foreign Office is warning gay travelers about the U.S., and “legislation passed recently in North Carolina and Mississippi” “Before traveling please read our general travel advice for the LGBT community. You can find more detail on LGBT issues in the U.S. on the website of the Human Rights Campaign.” ‪#‎GodBlessMurica‬ ‪#‎sigh‬

 

London Mayor Boris Johnson has gone after President Obama again after Obama wrote an op-ed in the U.K. Telegraph supporting Britain staying in the EU, saying the “part-Kenyan” President had an “ancestral dislike of the British Empire.”
Hmm, maybe Johnson doesn’t want to be Prime Minister, maybe Boris wants to come over here and work for Donald Trump.

 

Donald Trump’s campaign manager to the RNC “The part that he’s been playing is evolving into the part that now you’ve been expecting, but he wasn’t ready for, because he had first to complete the first phase…”
Right, the “part he’s been playing,” okay, and then the Donald will be out on the campaign trail accusing Hillary of being dishonest.

Yuck, an asymptomatic pregnant woman in San Francisco who had been to Central America has tested positive for the Zika virus. Now, I would never presume to make this choice for her, but if she chooses to carry the pregnancy to term will the pro-birth crowd be okay with indefinite government funding if the baby is born with microcephaly?

Round one.

April 16, 2016

Most worried ‪#‎Warriors‬ fans after the first day of the postseason.  Those who finally scored playoff tickets, and they’re for game 5 at Oracle.

 

Since ‪#‎Raptors‬ are now 0-8 in ‪#‎NBA‬ playoff openers, wouldn’t it be more efficient & save wear on players just to forfeit game 1 next time?

 

If you didn’t recognize ‪#‎DodgerStadium‬ you’d know the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎Dodgers‬ game is in Los Angeles. All those empty seats behind home plate.

Right about now the ‪#‎Jazz‬ must be SO disappointed they missed the playoffs and a chance to take on the ‪#‎Warriors‬. ‪#‎NBAPlayoffs‬ ‪#‎sarcasm‬

Nothing is certain but death, taxes and the ‪#‎Raptors‬ losing in game one of the ‪#‎NBAPlayoffs‬

Hard to believe it was not much more than a year ago that many ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans were crushed when ‪#‎PabloSandoval‬ left to sign with ‪#‎RedSox‬

Lakers head coach Byron Scott said that he “absolutely” expects that he will not be fired for next season. Translation, Los Angeles isn’t sure they can get anyone else to take on their mess.

Ohio State held their Spring football game today, 100,189 people showed up. Guess there must not be a lot to do in Columbus on a weekend.

McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook made $7.91 million last year, up from $1.69 million in 2014. But it’s okay, executive compensation, unlike the pay of minimum wage employees, doesn’t affect the price of hamburgers….

Okay this is just piling on, as if Americans are jealous enough of Canada already: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3543380/Not-just-pretty-face-Justin-Trudeau-stuns-room-reporters-scientists-perfect-answer-quantum-computing-question.html

 

Snow in Denver has cancelled 70% of flights and also postponed Saturday’s annual “420” marijuana festival. Well, most attendees probably weren’t going to show up until at least Sunday anyway. ‪#‎Dudewhensmyfestival‬?

 

A Muslim woman wearing a hijab was apparently kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight after she asked to change from a middle seat to an aisle because she was uncomfortable sitting between two men for religious reasons. Two responses – 1. Southwest probably over-reacted. 2. Not a bad idea. Especially when you’re a woman in a middle seat the men take the arm rests too.

 

 

If Bernie Sanders wants to attack Hillary Clinton for paid speeches that is his right.. But, not as if Bernie has been turning down the big bucks – from Ethics.senate.gov: “Anyone earning a Senate rate of pay at or above $123,175 may not earn more than $27,495 from all combined outside sources, including campaign work.”

 

So while we’re all ragging on Hillary Clinton for accepting Wall Street money, and yes, we need campaign finance reform, just wondering, who paid for Bernie Sanders’ private jet to meet the Pope in Rome?

Ted Cruz had a clean sweep of GOP delegates in Wyoming, all 14 of them. 14? Isn’t that about as many voters as there are in the state?

·

In Philadelphia, a 4-year-old girl was fatally shot by her 5-year-old brother with their father’s gun. If only the girl had been armed.

Say what?

July 12, 2015

There is a rumor that McDonald’s “Minions” toys, instead of spouting gibberish, actually speak in profanities. Is this a shameless ploy to sell more Happy Meals to pre-teens?

 

Once again it’s time for the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, which brings people from around the world to Spain. You know, for a lot less money these folks could stay home and play in traffic?

Tiger Woods, back at St Andrews for the first time in years said “It’s totally changed.” “Thinking the same about you” responded the Old Course.

 

Mark Cuban, after DeAndre Jordan apologized on Twitter for backing out of a verbal agreement to join the Mavericks “When is an apology not an apology? When you didn’t write it yourself. Next.”

Thinking one of the most anticipated NBA games of the year may be when the Clippers come to Dallas.

A new GOP presidential poll shows Donald Trump and Jeb Bush tied at the top with about 15% each. If this keeps up, Trump’s campaign will attract some serious donations. From Hillary Clinton.

 

Donald Trump at a speech in Phoenix today- “Don’t worry, we’ll take our country back.” Back to what, the 19th century?

Three things that should never be seen at ‪#‎ATTPark‬: The DH, Dodger Blue, and the wave ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Seeing the ‪#‎Phillies‬ on your upcoming MLB schedule is like seeing the ‪#‎Astros‬ used to be. ‪#‎goodtimes‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Joel Embiid, the 76ers top pick and #3 overall in the 2014 draft, sat out last season with a foot injury. Now he needs another surgery and will probably miss next season as well. Guess it’s not too early for Philadephia to start scouting 2016 draft picks.

Goldstar has the Raiders-Cardinals preseason NFL game on August 30 for $12.50 in Oakland. Hmm, are they offering to charge us or to pay us?

 

From  Marc Ragovin “Jason Pierre-Paul on his fireworks fiasco and its aftermath: “There’s no need to point fingers.”

Love a parade.

June 18, 2015

Warriors coach Steve Kerr says after the Warriors victory parade Friday, “I just want to sit on my couch and watch the U.S. Open and drink beer.” Well, for the last two rounds maybe Kerr can invite Tiger Woods to join him,

Apparently in the 24 hours after the Golden State Warriors won the NBA championship, a record amount of gear was sold. Wonder if for an extra charge manufacturers could make the shirts etc look like fans had been wearing them for a while.

Donald Trump apparently offered actors $50 each to show up and cheer for him as he announced his run for the Presidency.. Aha, NOW I see the Donald’s jobs plan… imagine how many people he will have to hire to show up at his various campaign events.

 

For the first time since 1970, McDonald’s is closing more restaurants than they are opening in the U.S. Because in an era of pizza with hot dogs and XXL grilled stuffed burritos, their offerings aren’t fattening enough for Americans anymore?

An American tourist, 27, is in stable condition with bite wounds at a Cancun hospital. This after the man, while allegedly drunk, ignored England and Spanish warning signs and climbed the barbed-wire fence of a crocodile enclosure at the Iberostar resort…. And once again, Darwin is thinking “missed it by THAT much.” #cantfixstupid

 

Maybe SF Giants fans should be happy at least Sandoval left before we got these “Panda being Panda” stories. He was benched for tonight’s game after “liking” a young woman’s pictures on Instagram last night during the game. Said he was in the bathroom at the time…..

 

A little inside baseball for SF Giants fans.

#‎Panda‬ who? ‪#‎McGehee‬ who? ‪#‎Duffy‬ does it again. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Astros’ GM Luhnow is denying reports that alleged Cardinals’ hackers got into the Astros database because he hadn’t changed his password(s). But have to wonder how many other people in baseball who have changed teams in the past just changed their passwords.

And now back to the serious stuff.  Don’t worry.  I’m not going to stay with this much serious stuff  for long. Though it would be nice to dream that maybe THIS time some things might actually change…. No joke.

 

The NY Times is reporting that the alleged Charleston terrorist was arrested and banned from a local mall in Feb. 2015 after he alarmed security guards by asking questions at stores about employees and when they left the mall. Then he was arrested again two months later at the mall, and jailed for 12 days. Clearly a troubled young man. And his dad decided that a good birthday present for him was a gun?!!!

Well, that didn’t take long. FoxNews.com already has an editorial saying that if churches weren’t gun-free zones, last night’s ” horrible tragedy…probably could have been avoided.”

And now it also  comes out that last week the alleged Charleston terrorist told friends and neighbors at the park that “he was looking to kill a bunch of people on Wednesday.” And his roommate said the guy has been talking about “something like that for six months.”“He was big into segregation and other stuff.. He said he wanted to start a civil war. He said he was going to do something like that and then kill himself.”

But they  thought he was joking. We’ve been taught to take suicide threats seriously, seems like it’s time to do the same with comments about killing. Even TSA, as much as we joke about them, would have stopped him for those words.

No whine before its time.

April 1, 2015

Governor Jerry Brown has called for 25% percent mandatory water use reduction in California. So okay, it’s now our civic responsibility to drink wine!

Don’t THINK this is an April Fool’s. Barbara Walters apparently wants Monica Lewinsky to join “The View.” Where no doubt besides doing interviews Monica will have a forum for telling America that she just wants to be left alone.

So Kentucky is heading towards a potential 40-0 season. Greatest basketball team of all time? Or more like the greatest crop of high school recruits making a pit stop on the way to the NBA?

All this excitement from millennials over the new Apple watch. What’s the next new thing going to be – the Apple calculator?

A woman was arrested at San Jose International Airport after a UPS employee saw her walking inside a fence, the 5th such security breach at the airport in a year. It’s apparently easier to get over a fence at San Jose than to get a bottle of water past TSA.

 

Gary Dahl, 78. the inventor of the Pet Rock has died. And if you think “the what?” guessing you are not a baby boomer.

 

Now that Pet Rocks are back in the news suppose it’s only a matter of time until PETA posthumously vilifies Gary Dahl for not respecting the rights of rocks.

 

Senator Bob Menendez of New Jersey has been indicted on Federal Corruption charges. Your move, Illinois.

McDonald’s announced they are raising working pay at all their company-owned U.S. restaurants. So that their employees can now afford to eat somewhere besides McDonald’s?

Seahawks LB Bruce Irvin sent out a tweet this morning that he’d been arrested for a DUI, then 30 minutes later said it was an April Fool’s joke.   Hmm, how drunk did he have to think it would be funny to make that joke?

Now the Republican-lead House the Arkansas has passed a “Religious Freedom Restoration Act” of its own. And Wal-Mart immediately issued a statement saying it threatened to undermine “the spirit of inclusion” in the state and “does not reflect the values we proudly uphold.”

Again, impressive. Who knew you could get WAL-MART on the moral high ground?

Anyone but me think at first that ‪#‎Walmart‬ coming out in support of gay rights was an ‪#‎AprilFools‬ joke? ‪#‎thetimestheyareachangin‬

 

From Marc Ragovin   “The NY Mets announced today that injured second baseman Daniel Murphy, who recently said he would be uncomfortable with a gay teammate, will need to undergo a rehab assignment before he can come off the disabled list. And word is he’s insisting on going to Indiana.”

Dampening the celebration?

March 31, 2015

Oops. Virgin Atlantic’s inaugural flight from Manchester, England to Atlanta was set to receive a “water cannon salute” from airport firefighters as it departed. Except apparently someone pressed the wrong button and sprayed, not water but foam, which clogged the plane’s engines and grounded it overnight. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬, airline division winner for the week.

The NFL has fined the Atlanta Falcons $350,000 and take away the team’s fifth round draft pick in 2016 for illegally piping crowd noise into the Georgia Dome. And in Seattle they’re just giggling.

Regarding that $350,000 fine that the Falcons got for piping in crowd noise, wouldn’t it have been cheaper for Atlanta just to have given free tickets to local frat boys?

The German prosecutor on the Germanwings flight says now that medical records indicate the co-pilot had been suicidal in the past. Damn shame his therapist talked him out of it.

 

A woman gave birth in an Uber car Monday morning in Manhattan. Uber apparently had the car cleaned afterwards for the driver. But then they also gave him a pair of Knicks tickets. As if the poor guy hasn’t had enough trauma?

Three #1 seeds and Michigan State in the Final Four. Means that those most likely to be winning their respective pools are generally risk adverse sports fans who happen to be from East Lansing.

For the first time since 1996, Tiger Woods is not in golf’s 100 top ranked golfers. Standby for an ESPN special on “The Fall of Tiger.”

Justin Bieber, in a USA Today interview – “My life is not easy” “I feel so sorry for him,” said nobody.

Aaron Hernandez’s fiancee today on the witness stand said she had “‘learned to compromise’ over his cheating because their relationship ‘was worth fighting for.” File this under “Maybe-maybe not smart woman, REALLY foolish choice.

McDonald’s is apparently testing a plan to serve breakfast all day long. The experiment will start in San Diego. But really, wouldn’t Colorado be more appropriate?

Stubhub is suing the Golden State Warriors, because the team is telling season ticket holders that they can only resell tickets online through Ticketmaster. Otherwise they could lose ticket rights and/or playoff tickets. The issue, how much the Warriors make in “scalping’ service fees. Awful, this billionaire on billionaire violence…..

An interesting and positive sidelight perhaps of this Indiana law. Not so much who is condemning it, but in who is not supporting it. Usually with civil rights issues these days, there are a host of GOP leaders and Presidential wannabes screaming freedom and states’ rights. But from Palin, Jindal, Trump, Perry…. crickets.

(after I wrote this at first Cruz and Santorum and actually Jeb Bush came out in support of the law. So the clown car is loading up.  But not a word from Palin…. maybe Bristol made some friends on DWTS who she’s invited to the weddin.)

Moving on from fraternities, now at the University of Mary Washington in Virginia, a college rugby team has been suspended indefinitely over an audio where the players can be heard chanting “Finally found a whore, she was right and dead…”

Okay, leaving the nasty nature of the words aside, shouldn’t any college student in the country now know that ANYTHING you say now 24-7 in a group of people can and will be recorded and held against you? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

 

From T.C.  “GB QB Aaron Rodgers was celebrating with the Final Four bound Wisconsin Badgers basketball team. When asked if he was looking to recruit a tight end with a basketball background like Gronk or Jimmy Graham, he replied, “No, I’m actually looking for someone that can recover an onside kick”.

Provocation?

July 26, 2014

Stephen A. Smith started out today about the Ray Rice situation telling women “Let’s make sure we don’t do anything to provoke wrong actions.” And then in his first apology “What about addressing women on how they can help prevent the obvious wrong being done upon them?” What is with Smith? Does he want to leave ESPN for a job at NFL headquarters.

 

And not that I condone violence, but it would be hard to be too broken up if some random woman hauls off and punches Stephen A. Smith, suggesting that he in future try not to “provoke wrong actions.”

 

So today the Russian consumer protection agency said they are suing McDonalds for selling foods that contain more fats and carbohydrates than are allowed by national regulations. What’s next, Putin saying the U.S. via McDonald’s has killed more people than the MH17 missile?

(Or maybe it’s just that Putin has a man-crush on Michael Bloomberg.)

They’re now selling seats from Candlestick Park before the stadium is being torn down. ($749 a pair, with a $50 discount for SFGiants season ticket holders.) Wonder for authenticity if the seats come with a free ice pack?

Chris Paul has joined Doc Rivers in saying he could boycott the season if Donald Sterling is still in charge. So who knows, maybe there’s a chance the Lakers won’t be the worst NBA team in Los Angeles this year.

 

 

Rough night for SF Giants at A T and T, losing 8-1 on a night when Yasiel Puig got three triples and a double. Maybe the Giants strategy was to have Puig run enough he might pull a hamstring.

Zack Greinke struck  out four SF Giants in one inning.    Atlanta Braves fans were shocked one wasn’t Dan Uggla.

But, hey, the  Dodgers had an off-day Thursday in San Francisco. #SFGiants were just one day behnd.

 

Johnny Manziel, about his off-field adventures. “At the end of the day,’ Manziel said, ‘I’ve made some rookie mistakes.’ But hey, now training camp has started. So soon Johnny can make some on-field rookie mistakes.

A recent poll said 65% percent of Americans don’t want President Obama impeached. But 35% do. Leaving politics aside guess this means at least 35% of Americans have never actually read the Constitution.

Gun rights advocates are touting the “good guy with a gun” case of an armed Philadelphia doctor who wounded a psychiatric patient who allegedly killed his caseworker and was apparently planning a mass shooting. Glad the guy was stopped. But what was a psychiatric patient with a long criminal history doing with a gun and over 40 bullets in the first place?

 

Drew Brees, 35, says he feels like he’s still 25, and “I could play for another 10 years. And that would be my goal.” The Green Bay Packers are thinking “Damn, nobody tell Brett Favre,”(who’s 44.).

A Google Shopping Express contract worker was arrested and charged with stealing more than $1000 of merchandise from a Target store while she was buying items for customers.

TThe woman has a criminal history involving possession and sale of meth. But apparently Google subcontracts out the shopping and the subcontractor didn’t do background checks.    Can’t wait to see what fun we could have with subcontracted Amazon drone operators.

 

 

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Lack of control?

November 19, 2011

The NCAA says today they are now investigating Penn State’s “exercise of institutional control over its intercollegiate athletics programs.” “What took you so long” said former officials from FEMA.

Urban Meyer left his head coaching job at Florida after the 2009 season due to “health concerns.” Now he is rumored to be the next head coach at Ohio State. Maybe he’s recovered, or maybe he’s decided that after the Penn State scandal, tattoo and compensation scandals are potentially a lot less stressful than they used to be.

Major League Baseball apparently has a labor agreement in place that will last until 2016. No strikes this time, not even the threat of a strike. Maybe this is one of the reasons MLB is losing ground to other professional sports – not enough drama.


Another day, another massive lettuce recall, this time California’s Ready Pac Foods. Maybe pizza actually is one of the healthier vegetables.

Okay, so Tim Tebow’s won a few games. But he has completely ruined Broncos GM (and Stanford grad) John Elway’s “SuckforLuck” strategy.

The Columbia band, previously banned from the field for making fun of their football team’s 0-9 record, has been reinstated for Saturday’s season finale. In a statement the band said “We look forward to honoring the senior class — both on the football team and in the band — and cheering the Columbia Lions on to victory.” (Privately band members added, “Well, two out of three ain’t bad.”)

Jon Stewart last night talked about the ever-changing GOP frontrunners and called Newt Gingrich is the “latest ‘zombie’ candidate who doesn’t know he’s already dead.” Stewart’s already received an angry demand for an apology – from the zombie union.


Have to figure both Stanford and Cal football coaches will tell their players to think about Okla State – Iowa State game tomorrow.

Congrats to the Iowa State Cyclones. Watching the post-game celebration, I think the entire population of Ames, Iowa was on the field.


Now there is only one top-level undefeated college football team (LSU, apologies to the University of Houston), and a slew of one-loss teams. Gosh, if only there were some way to have a post-season that might determine a real champion.

McDonald’s cut off their relationship with their previous egg supplier over claims of animal cruelty. McRib fans don’t have to worry, as there is no evidence the sandwich contains any sort of meat.

Regarding the new movies “Breaking Dawn” and “The Descendants,” what’s more unbelievable? That a woman would marry a vampire? Or that a woman would cheat on George Clooney?

Open note to all those people who seem to think Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore because he was younger than she was…. That doesn’t exactly explain Donald Trump, Newt Gringrich, JFK…

A potential Christmas stocking stuffer this year is the bendable Sarah Palin action figure. Of course, for those last-minute types, the not yet released Mitt Romney figure will be able to bend into a lot more positions.

Herman Cain is now suggesting the Taliban is part of the new Libyan government. Forget 9-9-9, his new campaign slogan should be “better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than speak out and remove all doubt.”

Missouri football coach Gary Pinkel pleaded guilty to drunken driving today, two hours after he was formally charged. The assistant prosecutor said he wanted to “get the case resolved and accept responsibility for his actions”, which was “definitely unusual.” No kidding, accountability in college football? What a concept.


Bush to hell section. (And okay, anyone who found my blog looking for Penn State jokes already bought their ticket):

So it won’t be “Boyz II Men” playing at any Penn State bowl game.

Here are some songs we won’t hear at halftime of any Nittany Lions bowl game:

Oops I did it again.

Get closer,

Close to you

Where the Boys are.

Touch me in the morning.

(And of course with these bus to hell moments, more suggestions encouraged.)