Posted tagged ‘Janice Hough’
November 2, 2016
So expecting the @Cubs to repeat in 2124?
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After tonight I am really going to miss baseball. But I am NOT going to miss Joe Buck.
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Clearly the worst position in sports to be in is to have a 3-1 series lead? #Cubs #Indians #Warriors #Cavs
Well that was fun, so what time is game 8? #WorldSeries
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So many ex-A’s making a difference in #WorldSeries maybe @Athletics should get a playoff share.
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#DavidRoss becomes only man in @MLB history to hit home runs off both #AndrewMiller & #MarkGrace #WorldSeries
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Try explaining this game to someone who’s never paid attention to baseball before? #WorldSeries @Cubs @Indians
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And even to serious baseball fans, what is this sport being played by pitchers who can’t go 6 innings?
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Time to just cancel school in #Chicago & #Cleveland tomorrow already? #WorldSeries #Game7 @Cubs @Indians
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We interrupt warm fuzzy World Series feelings to remind everyone about the Cubs’ owners, the Ricketts famiiy. They launched “Future45,” a conservative PAC who want the 45th President to be a Republican. They spent big against Bernie, and are now spending many millions in pro-Trump attack ads against Hillary Clinton.
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Today is #NationalStressAwarenessDay How could have I forgotten that?
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#AnthonyWeiner mess is disgusting enough to make Democrats long for good old days when our most problematic douchebag was #JohnEdwards.
Awful morning news to hear two policemen ambushed and fatally shot in Iowa. Waiting for Trump to angrily tweet about the news for his campaign. Oh, wait, American-born white male suspect with a Confederate flag Never mind.
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#PaulRyan campaigns across the country for #GOP like he’s playing Password, and #Trump is the secret word he can’t say.
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Trump tweet today about how he is “going to repeal and replace ObamaCare. We will have MUCH less expensive and MUCH better healthcare.”
Of course Trump won’t tell us how he’s going to do this. Like everything else it’s a secret….
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So some GOP congressmen are now worried about a potential impeachment crisis with Hillary Clinton over emails. Haven’t they been planning already to come up with some impeachment reason on Nov 9? When they could find time between votes repealing Obama.
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In North Texas, someone blocked an official polling place sign with a Trump sign, and glued razor blades into the bottom of the placard. A poll worker sustained minor cuts while removing it. #Stayclassy
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 3-1 jokes, A's jokes, Cubs jokes, election jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
November 1, 2016
While we attack political pandering in the US, give White Sox fan Barack Obama major props for not pretending to root for the Cubs in the World Series
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Mets closer Jeurys Familia was arrested yesterday for alleged domestic violence. Shocking NY fans who thought all Familia hit in October was other teams’ bats.
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Add #Familia to the list, along with #Chapman, of closers #SFGiants want nothing to do with.
New ad #JeurysFamilia: “I’m a baseball fan. I’m a Mets fan. I’m NOT A FAN of domestic violence.” Not a fan because he is a DV player? Sigh
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Eagles WR Josh Huff was arrested this morning. He was allegedly speeding while in possession of a gun AND marijuana. So is that the NFL arrest trifecta?
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Sean Payton yesterday “We’re the only league that has officials that have primary other jobs, which is really madness. We can pay these guys. They should be full-time NFL officials, and they should be working throughout the week, communicating”
Can’t wait to see how much Roger Goodell penalizes the Saints for this one.
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Washington LT Trent WIlliams the latest NFL player suspended four -games for violating the league’s substance-abuse policy. But he can still work out and go to team meetings, so should be back and fresh in plenty of time for any potential postseason. Other than the lack of pay anyone but me thinking these wrist-slaps are almost a mid-season vacation?
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The SF 49ers are allowing the most points per game, and are averaging the fewest yards in NFL. Talk about a well-balanced team.
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As the FBI absurdity continues have to think that private meeting Bill Clinton had with Loretta Lynch on the tarmac is making Hillary angrier even than she was about Monica.
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Anti @HillaryClinton ad during the #WorldSeries Sponsored by NRA. Another reason to say #ImWithHer
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If Wikileaks & FBI about to leak every email sent in last 10 years to national media, I’m sure most Americans would have nothing to hide.
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Monday the FBI just happened to release documents about Bill Clinton’s pardon of Marc Rich (remember him?) in 2001. Then they issued a tweet about the files today. Anyone still think the bureau is impartial?
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Shall we start a pool on what documents @FBI will release tomorrow? #VinceFoster, #Whitewater, @HillaryClinton’s report cards? #WTF?
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Regarding John Kasich’s choice to write in John McCain instead of either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump, wonder if he plans to run for President again in 2020. When no doubt the Ohio Governor would tell Americans he is ready to make the really tough choices facing this country.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, familia jokes, fbi jokes, Janice Hough, Mets jokes, Wikileaks jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 1, 2016
Or as they call it in the U.S. – “National half-price candy day.”
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You think you have a hard week at work, imagine all the teachers who have to deal with kids crashing off a sugar high that started Monday night.
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Election has really ruined #Halloween horror movies this year. No way to make fiction scarier than reality.
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Interesting to see some people rooting against the Cleveland Indians because of their Chief Wahoo mascot. But many of those people have no problem with the Chicago Cubs despite their star closer being suspended 30 games for domestic violence. #Priorities
Tim Tebow, who is hitting 147 in the Arizona Fall League, apparently slightly injured his right knee trying to steal second base. Shocking many sports fans that he ever got to first base.
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New England LB Jamie Collins will have his 4-year rookie contract expire at season’s end, and he was asking for big money. Today the Patriots traded Collins to the Browns. Talk about deflating.
Good news for #Bears fans, their team won on #MNF. Bad news for #Bears fans, now for a while they might be stuck with #JayCutler
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In China, a 20-year-old man climbed into a giant panda enclosure to impress two women he was with. While the panda grabbed the guy, and head-butted him, the idiot escaped with only “his pants torn to shreds.” One of those moments you really wish pandas were carnivores.
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A new poll found that while 46% of Americans view Hillary Clinton favorably and 47% unfavorably. those who prefer Fox News split 13% favorably, 84% unfavorably. In related news, the poll found that water is wet.
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Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway said today “we don’t plan on making the Comey investigation the main centerpiece of our messaging.” Sounds like Conway pays about as much to what the Donald actually says as Mike Pence does.
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John #Kasich says he wrote in #JohnMcCain‘s name on Presidential ballot. How long until #Trump announces plan to build a wall around Ohio?
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And finally, while we’re on the subject of emails, there’s this letter from Harry Reid to James Comey: “In my communication with you and other top officials in the national security community, it has become clear that you possess explosive information about close ties and coordination between Donald Trump, his top advisers, and the Russian government – a foreign interest openly hostile to the United States, which Trump praises at every opportunity.
‘The public has a right to know this information. I wrote to you months ago calling for this information to be released to the public. There is no danger to American interests from releasing it. ”
This all would be a lot more fun if it weren’t real.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Clinton jokes, Day of the Dead jokes, email jokes, Halloween jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes
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October 28, 2016
Jon Stewart, when he quit “The Daily Show” in 2015. “I’d covered an election four times, and it didn’t appear that there was going to be anything wildly different about this one.”
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Another reason baseball is the BEST sport. In a 1-0 game you can’t just play keep-away & try to run out clock. #WorldSeries #Indians #Cubs
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The World Series reminds us again that #As really are a farm system for the rest of MLB. #Crisp #Zobrist #Lester #Russell #Davis #Otero
While the SF Giants are not in the World Series, Giants fans had to like to hear ESPN’s play-by-play announcer Dan Shulman on Indians pitcher Tomlin “”he can handle bat though he’s no Bumgarner.”
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The U.K. Telegraph finally posted an interview with Bob Dylan saying he “absolutely” wants to attend the Nobel Prize Ceremony “if it’s at all possible.”
Actually, Dylan probably gave the interview on the day he won the award, it’s just taken them this long to translate it.
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A recent Chapman University poll showed that 32% of Americans are afraid of climate change, while 42% are afraid of clowns. #BeamMeUpScottieThereIsNoIntelligentLifeOnThisPlanet
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In a debate with Tammy Duckworth, who is a Purple Heart winner from the Iraq War and double amputee, Sen. Mark Kirk made a jab at her mother’s being from Thailand. Among those who have criticized him, KellyAnne Conway. Thereby answering a question “How low do you have to go to be called out by the Trump campaign?”.
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Today is #NationalChocolateDay. And women are going “Isn’t EVERY day ‘National Chocolate Day?'”
Pac 12 Commissioner Larry Scott, answering a reporter’s question about a TV contract that has Cal playing back-to-back weeknight games during a tough academic period. “That hasn’t been a parameter, academic schedules per se, so it hasn’t come up… Well of course not, the idea of big conference television contracts started with the SEC. #whatacademicschedules?
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An American Airlines flight at O’Hare caught fire when a tire apparently blew on takeoff. Expect flight delays. And for United Airlines to immediately institute a tire maintenance fee.
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“New” Clinton emails may be from #AnthonyWeiner. Will #FBI agents reading them get hardship pay for needing to take so many showers?
No doubt Hillary Clinton is furious over the alleged Anthony Weiner messages being used to reopen her FBI email investigation. On the other hand, she has to be very thankful sexting wasn’t an option during Bill’s time in the White House.
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Rumor today that if Hillary Clinton wins she would like to name Biden as Secretary of State. Wonder if this means Joe, who would be 81, wants to run for President in 2024?
From T.C. “Tickets for this weekend’s games at Wrigley will average $5,000 ea. Of course, this includes Steve Bartman’s ticket. The Cubs gave him $10,000 to go watch the game at a bar in Miami.”
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, chocolate jokes, football jokes, Janice Hough, mark kirk jokes, Trump jokes, Weiner jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 27, 2016
If the Raiders head to Las Vegas, Oakland still might not be without a team. At this point Santa Clara/SF might ask them to “take our 49ers, please.”
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The NFL wonders why ratings are down. Lots of complicated hypotheses – but then there are simple answers – like tonight’s nationally televised game – Jaguars vs. Titans. #nobodycares
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Twitter is shutting down #Vine. Advantage of being slow to adopt new technologies, wait long enough & some of it disappears before you get around to it.
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#Twitter announced they are laying off 9% of their workers. Does this mean we’ll soon be down to 127 characters?
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Mike #Pence campaign plane skidded off runway at #LaGuardia. No details but pretty sure it didn’t veer to the left.#Trump
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Earlier today Mike Pence was asked if there was a “red line” Trump could cross that might cause him to leave the GOP ticket. His answer “We’re in this campaign and we’re in it to win,” Translation, “no.”
(Maybe Pence should have told his pilot about red lines on the runway?)
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A Texas A&M freshman was arrested after she allegedly opened her blouse to take a Snapchat picture to send to her boyfriend. While allegedly drunk. And driving. Until she crashed her car… into a police car. No injuries. But another Darwin award #misseditbythatmuch
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More than $5 million worth of cocaine washed ashore in a tube in Ireland. Talk about a high tide.
The GOP is already promising blocked Supreme Court nominees and Congressional investigations if Hillary Clinton wins on Nov. 8. Or as President Obama calls it, business as usual.
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Ted Cruz’s latest “there is long historical precedent for a Supreme Court with fewer justices.” For such a self-described constitutionalist, Ted sure seems to have skipped the “advise and consent” part.
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Former Congressman Joe Walsh tweeted out “On November 8th, I’m voting for Trump. On November 9th, if Trump loses, I’m grabbing my musket. You in?”
Ah yes, that GOP bridge to the 18th century.
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At Ohio rally today, @realDonaldTrump “we should just cancel the election and just give it to Trump.” Would be funnier if he were joking.
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Some reports on the Mike Pence plane semi-crash landing at La Guardia are that the plane was moving too fast in the rain, and overshot the runway. But hey so, it was only ordinary travelers who were delayed and taxpayer dollars will no doubt pay for the cleanup and investigation. #MakeAmericaGreatforBillionairesagain
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At Rapid City’s airport, a SkyWest Airlnes pilot was arrested for alleged DUI before he was scheduled to fly a plane. Will his defense be that he really aspired to work for Delta?
Donald Trump said today NBC’s releasing the Billy Bush tape “was “certainly illegal, no question about it.,” and indicated he might sue.
But of course all the Wikileaks emails involving Hillary Clinton are pure freedom of speech….
Kansas Rep. Joe Seiwert, commenting about singer Denasia Lawrence kneeling down before a basketball game “I’m so sick of these anti-American blacks, f–k Black Live Matter. Go back to where you claim home”
Thinking a whole lot of Native Americans are thinking, “Back at ya.”
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Sometimes you wonder why any sane person would ever go into politics. Here’s partial Wikileak quote from Huma Abedin on Hillary planning to speak about a Super Pac issue with Jeb Bush. “She’s going to stick to notes a little closer this am, still not perfect in her head”
Okay, I’ve only done a little speaking, but seems reasonable, when you don’t have something down cold, and you don’t want to make mistakes, you use notes. And conservative sites are saying “not perfect in her head” means she has an illness affecting her brain.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, darwin joke, Janice Hough, pence jokes, pence plane jokes, Supreme Court jokes, Twitter jokes, vine jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
October 26, 2016
4 hours & 4 minutes for 5-1 Chicago win. Good thing Cubs have plenty of fans because these first two World Series games would not convert many to MLB
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Blowout baseball games are really only fun to watch if you’re a fan of the team doing the blowing-out. Another reason Fox might consider showing more regular season games to create national rather than regional interest….
Just one game and one win, but tonight did Lakers get a taste of what it might have been like to have Kobe Bryant retire sooner?
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Yoenis Cespedes has opted out of his #Mets contract and plans to test free agent market. Because 4 teams in 6 years wasn’t enough?
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Looking at all these bundled-up players in 40 degree temperatures during the World Series makes me nostalgic for Candlestick Park.
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A police report on the crash that took the life of Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez found “a strong odor of alcohol” and evidence that whoever was driving the boat was speeding and driving with “recklessness” that was “exacerbated by the consumption of alcohol.”
Sad, really sad. But “I am shocked, said nobody.”
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American is going to be the next major U.S. airline to start selling “Basic” economy fares – no changes, standby, seat assignments, etc. So how low can they go – the option to fly as cargo?.
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Newt Gingrich tweeted today “‘For the record Megyn Kelly is wrong, I don’t have anger management issues. I do have media bias issues!” Wonder if he was shouting while he wrote it.
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Story out of Australia is that two beautiful young women who were contestants on the “The Bachelor” did indeed find love. With each other. Hmm, if this becomes a thing might increase U.S. men’s viewership.
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All of this “repeal and replace” about Obamacare that the GOP is spouting. Of course what they don’t spout is that they want to replace it with nothing.
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Trump says he’s going to spend over $100 million on his campaign before election day. Has someone told him he can’t take this loss off his taxes?
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Trump today “I will never, ever take the African-American community for granted — unlike Hillary.”‘
Okay but while the Donald castigates Hillary for what she didn’t do in the Senate, why, with all his decades-old business empire can Trump not name a thing he has done as far as minority hiring and other outreach?
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Donald Trump said last week that “I will reverse Obama’s executive orders & concessions towards Cuba.” Meaning besides travel that Cuban rum & cigars will become illegal again. Forget sexual assault, racism, healthcare etc, this might be the “trump” card for Hillary to woo white men.
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From Alex Kaseberg “A youth football team was kicked out of its league in Rhode Island when they snuck a grown man into their lineup. Man, Johnny Manziel cannot catch a break.”
Folks I suppose became suspicious when the team beat the Browns.
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From Paul Lander. Indeed, the gift that keeps on giving: “Happy 69th Birthday, @HillaryClinton. Don’t forget to send the Republican Party a thank you for the gift of nominating Trump.”
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Bachelor jokes, Candlestick jokes, Cubs jokes, Gringrich jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, Mets jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 25, 2016
So maybe Golden State Warriors don’t want pressure of an undefeated season? Or maybe Greg Popovich is a very very good coach
And maybe Spurs assistant coach Becky Hammon, who was head coach of the Spurs D-league in 2014 when Jonathan Simmons took MVP honors 2014, is also a pretty good coach.
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Big night in sports. #WorldSeries began for MLB. And the NBA started the 82-game second phase of their preseason.
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World Series started tonight. Maybe if MLB actually showed some regular season games and put the playoffs on network television, millions of Americans might be able to name at least one Cleveland Indian.
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#CarlosSantana starting at DH for @Indians. Casual fans thinking shouldn’t he play anthem instead & isn’t he kind of old. #WorldSeries
So for a while tonight it was looking like it was not just Bruce Bochy who might have pulled a star starter in playoffs too early.
But reliever Andrew Miller, with a 3 run lead, got the tying run to the plate in the 7th and 8th innings… and got out of it both times. What a concept. #SFGiants #Sigh
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The NY Giants have released kicker Josh Brown, saying that “Our beliefs, our judgments and our decisions were misguided.”
Translation, we never believed those documents would be made public.
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In select markets, #Arby’s announced they will begin testing venison sandwiches in select markets. Oh, deer.
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Tuesday was #NationalPassiveAggressive day. Fine, whatever.
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Barack Obama on Jimmy Kimmel last night “What I don’t do is at 3 a.m. I don’t tweet about people who insulted me. I try to sleep so that in the morning I’m actually ready for a crisis.”
Waiting for the Donald tonight at 3 a.m. to insult the President’s stamina.
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Glenn Beck just said he thinks Donald Trump is a sociopath. Well, the pot SHOULD be a kettle expert.
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A new White House executive action will require airlines to refund baggage fees for delayed baggage. Seems reasonable. Wonder how much airlines will raise fees to cover it.
A British Airways flight from San Francisco to London made an emergency landing in Vancouver after the entire crew, including the pilot, became ill. Did they all have the fish? #Ahospitalwhatisit? #surelyyoucantbeserious
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Justin Timberlake posted a selfie of himself doing early voting wth a covered up ballot, urging people to vote. But pictures in polling places are illegal in Tennessee. The horror. Trump claiming election fraud in 3.2.1…..
After Megyn Kelly told Newt Gingrich people have a right to hear reporting on women accusing Trump of being a “sexual predator, ” Gingrich actually shouted “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy!”
Well, that should help with the women’s vote.
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Trump told Reuters today as President he would not put any Democrats in his cabinet. Which could be tough. Not sure the Donald could find enough Republicans he hasn’t mortally offended.
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Colin Powell today announced ““I am voting for Hillary Clinton.” Waiting for attack tweets from #DonaldTrump against Powell in 3.2.1….
My boat would have been huge, the best, that shark would have been sushi. Only losers get eaten. #TrumpaHorrorMovie
He had very small hands. I ate them with fava beans & the bestest Chianti. #TrumpAHorrorMovie.
From Mark Ricklis “Have you seen the new Trump website? Grope-on.”
Categories: airline jokes, baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: andrew miller jokes, arby's jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, josh brown jokes, Popovich jokes, Spurs jokes, Warriors jokes, World Series joke
Comments: 1 Comment
October 24, 2016
There is a petition being circulated to replace Joe Buck with Bob Uecker for the World Series. They had me at “replace Joe Buck.”
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In the December 2014 Foster Farms Bowl matching Stanford and Maryland at Levi’s Stadium, so few fans were interested that organizers closed off the upper bowl of the stadium and moved everyone down to the lower levels.
So for future home games, how much worse do the 49ers have to get before the team decides to do the same thing?
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#NFL wonders why TV ratings are down & then Seahawks and Cardinals play to a 6-6 tie in overtime on Sunday Night Football.
General Mills said today they will produce limited-edition Girl Scout cookie cereal, in both Thin Mint and Caramel Crunch flavors. Isn’t it easier to just eat cookies for breakfast?
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Saddest thing about this election? Molly Ivins is not still on earth to cover it.
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Monday – October 24- was the last day to register to vote in California. So presume everyone who has not voted has forfeited bitching rights until next election!
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Elizabeth Warren to Trump “nasty women have really had it with guys like you. And on November 8. we nasty women are going to march our nasty feet to cast our nasty votes to get you out of our lives forever.”
Sometimes even the best SNL skit is no match for reality. #YouGoGirl
Despite Donald Trump’s anti-Muslim comments, a recent Zogby poll showed 12% of Arab-American Muslims said they’d vote for him. Guessing 99% of that 12% are men?
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This sort of thing would be funnier if it weren’t true: Trump, denying his latest accuser “And she’s a porn star. You know, this one that came out recently, ‘he grabbed me and he grabbed me on the arm.’ Oh, I’m sure she’s never been grabbed before.”
Can just imagine the Donald’s response on the subject of marital rape…
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Last week President Obama said that while people worry about being “left behind” with globalization “To try to pull-up a drawbridge on trade would only hurt us and hurt our workers.”
To which Chris Christie no doubt responded “Uh, you don’t need a drawbridge.”
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Trump’s daughter-in-law Lara, asked about any “October Surprises” today, responded “There’s still a couple of days left in October. So, we’ll see, we’ve got some stuff up our sleeve.”
Yeah, sounds like she’s become a Trump alright.
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Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway claimed that her boss would love more debates “the country benefits from those type of forum and we’d be willing to do another one if somehow they can squeeze it in.”
So is Conway really working for the Donald? Or for Alec Baldwin?
–Donald Trump today, trying to feed the hand he’s been biting “Go out and vote and that includes helping me reelect Republicans all over the place. He then added: “I hope they help me too! It’d be nice if they help us too, right?”
Someone really should tell the Donald that there is this thing called the internet that keeps track of every insult you say.
Marc Ragovin “After watching the Giants/Rams game, I am surprised the Brits haven’t severed relations with the US.”
Categories: debate jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, girl scout cookie jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, NFL jokes, Trump jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 24, 2016
After escaping with a 6-6 tie against Arizona, Seattle takes their nonexistent 2016 offense on the road to face the New Orleans defense. Which might prove an answer to the age old question: What happens when a resistible force meets 11 movable objects?
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ESPN reports the Vikings got Sam Bradford from the Eagles for their 2017 1st round draft-pick plus a conditional 4th rounder in 2018. If however, Minnesota, makes the NFC championship game, the 4th round pick becomes a 3rd, BUT Philly would then have to send the Vikings 7th round pick.
This might be more complicated math than most football players ever took in college.
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These London games mean on the West Coast you can wake up and already know your team has lost for the week. “And your point is?” say 49ers fans
#JameisWinston gets a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for arguing a spot on 3rd down Overly #crabby? #TBvsSF
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So who was leaving Levi’s Stadium at a faster rate? Injured 49ers players, or disgusted 49ers fans? #TBvsSF
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So can we officially go back to calling them the “Fourth and niners?”
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GOP chair Reince Priebus on Trump “He is not willing to not concede if he loses and there’s no fraud.” Orwell would be proud. #doublespeak
Sheldon Adelson’s Las Vegas Review-Journal has become the first major newspaper to endorse Donald Trump. “He promises to be a source of disruption and discomfort to the privileged, back-scratching political elites for whom the nation’s strength and solvency have become subservient to power’s pursuit and preservation.”
Got to love a man who can rail against the “privileged back scratching elites” after he buys a newspaper.
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While I don’t love trending Twitter hashtags, #TrumpBookReport was too good to pass up:
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Helen of Troy, overrated, wouldn’t have been my first choice. But I hear King Menealus had very small hands. #trumpbookreport
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Six days to create the world? Really? I could have done it in five, and done much better for Adam than Eve. Nasty woman. #trumpbookreport
Overrated nasty woman, if I led France it would have been best victory ever. I don’t like people who get burnt at stake. #TrumpBookReport
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, ESPN jokes, Janice Hough, Levis stadium jokes, Saints jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 22, 2016
Since the Indians won in 5 games there’s was no baseball Friday night. Sad premonition of winter.
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Although with a possible Chicago-Cleveland World Series, maybe we will have the first WS game called for snow?
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NY Giants coach Ben McAdoo, on kicker Josh Brown, accused of repeated domestic violence against his ex-wife. “We’re not going to turn our back on Josh.” Hmm, based on the allegations seems like it’s women who should be careful not to turn their backs on him.
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Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick says despite the Fighting Irish’s disappointing start, Brian Kelly “will lead this team out of the tunnel opening day next year.”
Of course, Swarbrick didn’t say if it would be as coach or highly-paid waterboy.
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AT&T is apparently going to buy Time-Warner. Yeah, that breakup of the phone company in 1982 because they were too big and dominant has worked well.
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Twitter, Amazon, Spotify and other sites were down today at times due to a major cyber attack. The horror. Millions of Americans in their offices were actually forced to work.
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At first, the Trump and his campaign were a joke. But then when it looked like he had a real chance, many thought he would get serious. Then when he won the nomination, many thought he would get disciplined. Then when he began losing to Hillary Clinton, many thought he would get focused. And some STILL think that actually winning the Presidency would turn him into a statesman….
#Heiswhowethoughthewas
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So was that #DDoS attack that took down #Twitter from Russia? As in maybe even #Putin thinking “STFU Donald, you’re kllling our chances?
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For all those who are debate junkies (or just gluttons for punishment), and are worried about going through withdrawal – David Duke has just qualified in Louisiana to share the stage in the final Senate candidate debate.
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The trial in the Trump University lawsuit begins Nov. 29. And Donald Trump’s lawyers want what he has said during the campaign to be excluded, saying the admission of such evidence would risk “irremediable prejudice” and a “waste of time.”
Just wondering, where do they think they will find an unbiased jury pool?
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So now that we’ve run out of other important stuff to argue about in this election, we have Eric Trump, who apparently got a free water glass at In-and-Out Burger, and used it to steal lemonade. His father must be so proud of those baby steps.
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Richard Branson said Donald Trump told him years ago that five people had not helped out with a bankruptcy and he was “going to spend the rest of his life destroying these five people.” Hmm, so is Donald really running for President or “Count of Monte Cristo?”
That moment when you realize that no joke you could possibly write will probably trump reality – as you hear that the Donald will be giving a major policy speech Saturday at Gettysburg.
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From Marc Ragovin “Curt Schilling said that Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer cost his team by “dicking around with a drone.” In response, Schiilling’s former ESPN Baseball Tonight partner Dan Schulman said, “Oh yeah, well I spent two years droning around with a dick”
(joke, not a real quote :))
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: david duke jokes, gettysburg jokes, hacking jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 18, 2016
Cubs looking tonight like this may not be their century either.
At Dodger Stadium tonight Cubs fans were chanting “We don’t quit.” I think they meant to replace the “Qu” with an “H.”
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#Cubs hitters looked so lost wonder if to get in sync they’ll offer to pay #SFGiants bullpen to fly in & pitch batting practice?
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Way to grow the Major League Baseball. The ALCS with Cleveland vs. Toronto is on during the day when many are at work. And the NLCS with the Cubs vs LA is on FS1, a channel many people, and most hotels, don’t get.
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Saddest thing about #NLDS is that 1 inning from #SF bullpen might have kept us from a great #Dodgers #Giants series for pennant. @MLB
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About time to put pictures of the #Cubs‘ bats on milk cartons. #NLCS
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If Donald Trump was a baseball coach he’d have been thrown out of the game by now.
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How statesmanlike of him: John McCain “”I promise you that we will be united against any Supreme Court nominee that Hillary Clinton, if she were president, would put up.”
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Scary Trump tweet of the morning. “41% of American voters believe the election could be “stolen” from DonaldTrump due to widespread voter fraud. – Politico”
What’s scariest is that Trump’s antics have convinced enough people that the tweet is accurate.
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So Donald Trump is bringing President Obama’s half-brother Malik to tomorrow’s debate. Malik, 58, while still a U.S.citizen, is a Muslim who lives mostly in Kenya, has been accused of domestic violence, and has at least 3 current wives, the last who he married in 2011 when she was a teenager. Just the kind of man the Donald thinks we need more of in this country….
Bill Clinton’s accusers, Barack Obama’s half-brother…. who’s next for @realDonaldTrump to bring to debates. Anyone seen Tipper Gore lately?
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Curt Schilling, upset at comparisons to his bloody sock game “Please don’t tweet at me about Bauer.He cost himself a start, likely more, AND his teammates, and fans, dicking around with a drone. #stupid”
Of course there’s no comparison. Nor is there any comparison to costing the state of Rhode Island $50 million by “dicking around” with a video game company. #38Studios #stupid
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For all those comedy writers worried about going through withdrawal for material after November 8; Curt Schilling announced today on Twitter he is going to run for the Senate in 2018 against Elizabeth Warren. #passthepopcorn
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If #CurtSchilling runs for Senate in Massachusetts, how long until #ElizabethWarren tells him to put a bloody sock in it?
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Now Wikileaks’ Julian Assange is claiming that John Kerry cut off his internet at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. And Kerry is thinking, if we had that power don’t you think we would have done it a long time ago?
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Actually it turns out Ecuador temporarily restricted Julian Assange’s internet access at their embassy. Might have been easier just to switch him to Windows 2000
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So tired of “urgent” fundraising emails ” Like this one “don’t abandon Hillary, please when she needs us most” (before the last debate.)
Right about now what Hillary really needs is for Donald just to keep talking.
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Marc Ragovin “Melania says Donald should be excused for his crass remarks about women because he was egged on by Billy Bush. Hey, if you can get outwitted by Billy Bush, you iz too dumb to be president.”
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ALCS jokes, Cubs jokes, Dodgers jokes, FS1 jokes, Janice Hough, malik obama jokes, NLCS jokes, schilling jokes, trump joke
Comments: 9 Comments
October 17, 2016
The Nobel Prize committee says that five days after they awarded the Prize for literature to Bob Dylan, they have not yet heard from their newest laureate. Or maybe Dylan has responded and they had no idea what who he was or what he was saying?
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The #Big12 today decided not to expand & will stay at 10 members. Why should conference confuse players with a tough concept like math?
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Some references today to #ColinKaepernick being a “distraction” for @49ers. Because without him they would only have lost by 20 points?
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Trevor Bauer, who cut himself repairing one of his drones, was not allowed to wear even as much as a Band-Aid on his finger tonight while pitching. The stitches broke, resulting in Bauer having to leave, dripping blood, in the first inning. Cleveland used a total of 7 pitchers, and kept the Blue Jays to 2 runs.
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And that, #SFGiants fans, ladies and gentlemen, is a bullpen. #Indians #ALCS
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Wonder many MLB teams are rushing to add “no drones during the season” into their contract language..
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The Los Angeles Dodgers apparently stayed at the Trump hotel in Chicago for their regular season series against the Cubs in May. But Adrian Gonalez, who is of Mexican descent, refused, saying “I had my reasons.”
Darn, another Dodger I can’t root against.
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Anyone but me really tired of pumpkin flavored everything?
Fox News’ Shep Smith has come out as gay. Shocking millions of Americans who thought he was already out.
At a Donald Trump rally in Wisconsin tonight the crowd started chanting “Paul Ryan sucks!” So is this how the Donald would propose to start his State of the Union speech?
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Melania Trump said that Donald really didn’t mean the things he said to Billy Bush, but that Bush had “egged him on.” Well it’s a good thing that Putin, or Congress, would never egg Trump on while in office.
As an anonymous friend said ““My husband can’t throw footballs and grab pussies at the same time!”
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Donald Trump said #SNL should be cancelled & was “unfunny.” Uh, if unfunny on occasion was reason enough, SNL would have been cancelled years ago.
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Women who have come forward about #Trump‘s groping them can take comfort, he didn’t mean it, he was just trying to impress #BillyBush.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, sports jokes, texas jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ALCS jokes, bauer jokes, blue jays jokes, Dodgers jokes, dylan jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 16, 2016
Today Drew Brees threw for 465 YDS & 4 TD, and the @Saints barely won. Rumor has it there is part of an NFL game you can play called “defense.”
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Latest college football rankings, #Pac12 has exactly 2 teams in the top 25. Traditional powers Washington and.. Utah?
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#LARams have got to be lying awake at night wondering how they ever lost to this #49ers team. #SFvsBUF
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#RudyGuiliani today said he “would have to be a moron to say” that the election “is going to be fair.” And his point is?
Lots of verbal attacks on #ColinKaerpernick in Buffalo today. Silly Bills fans. Did they realize that Kap & the 49ers might have provided the best home game entertainment they’ll see all year?. Next visitors – the Patriots.
Hard to be an #SFGiants fan watching Puig against Chapman. No way to root for them both to fail.
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Altamonte Springs, my high-school home town: A woman was arrested this week after posting video online of her son driving her car – the boy is 7 years old. Back on your game, Florida.
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Never thought I’d say anything positive about Sarah Palin. But at least she had a sense of humor. Trump tweet of the day “Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me.Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!”
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Whatever happens in election suppose both @HillaryClinton & @realDonaldTrump can both take credit for helping to resurrect #SNL
Trump is insisting that he has lost “large numbers of women voters based on made up events THAT NEVER HAPPENED.” But those “wonderful” and “courageous” women speaking out about Bill Clinton – their stories are 100% true….
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Apparently someone threw a bottle of flammable liquid through the window of a GOP office in North Carolina. And Trump tweeted “Animals representing Hillary Clinton and Dems in North Carolina just firebombed our office in Orange County because we are winning.”
Now, Hillary decried the act, but I guess I’m missing something – if Trump’s followers are violent it’s a righteous rage, but if it’s his opponents they are animals?
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This is actually really scary, according to a poll from the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. “Only about one-third of Republicans said they have a great deal or quite a bit of confidence that votes on Election Day will be counted fairly.”
But has it occurred to Trump that if Hillary really could rig an election, she’d have done it starting with the 2008 Democratic primaries?
As Trump talks about the election ” absolutely being rigged,” including at many polling placs, have to ask…. has the Donald actually BEEN to a polling place? Last time before I gave up and decided to vote by mail, the average poll workers were “mature” to say the least, and having a hard time just matching voters to their lists. Not exactly the folks you’d enlist in a complicated conspiracy.
This morning on “Meet the Press” Mike Pence ” We will absolutely accept the result of the election.” So with all the people Trump has attacked on Twitter, how long until he adds his running mate to the list?
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From my friend TC, sent to him by Berney: 
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, NFL jokes, SNL jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 13, 2016
I missed it, when did “pressure” in baseball become a “high-leverage” situation? #DodgersvsNats #NLDS #MLBPlayoffs
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Congrats to Bob Dylan. Who knew, for all the Nobel Prize winning literature I had to read in college, I was actually voluntarily listening to it in my dorm room.
With Cleveland in the ALCS the talk has begun again but them needing to change their mascot name as being denigrating to Indians. But while we’re at it, is the SF Giants name somehow indicative of a bias against more vertically-challenged people?
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The Nationals had said Stephen Strasburg, who missed the NLDS, would not be ready to return if Washington made it into the NLCS. So this is one of the postseasons they shut him down for in 2012?
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Love #DustyBaker but as #SFGiants fan still get knot in stomach watching him manage late innings bullpen. #DodgersvsNats
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When Dusty Baker moved to his fifth pitcher in an inning, SFGiants fans were thinking , “we’ve have seen this script before, and it wasn’t a good one.
4 1/2 hours and it didn’t even go extras. Even #RedSox & #Yankees are thinking this is a LONG game. #NLDSGame5 #DodgersvsNats
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Congrats to the Dodgers.But maybe Daniel Murphy’s infield fly with the winning run on base is God’s way of saying He/She is okay with the “gay lifestyle.”
Slam magazine rated Carmelo Anthony the 15th-best player in the NBA. Melo said it was “disrespectful.” Maybe to the people ranked 16 through 30?
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We interrupt the snark for a NICE off-field NFL story: Eagles QB Carson Wentz, 23, who played at North Dakota State, went back during Philly’s bye week to a local bar in Fargo, ran up a $1,000 tab with friends, and left a $500 tip.
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At this point no way of knowing which recently leaked emails involving Hillary are real and which are fake. But okay folks, how many of us really want our friends, family, coworkers etc to know everything we’ve ever said about them in “private”?
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Chris Christie has been given a criminal summons to appear at a Bridgegate hearing later this month. Maybe Trump should have chosen the NJ governor as a running mate. Would distract attention now from some of these tapes, etc.
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Michele Bachmann says that Hillary Clinton has an “anti-biblical” agenda. As opposed to Donald Trump “Grope forth and multiply?
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Rush Limbaugh, railing about the “Donald Trump sex-talk scandal” “If the left ever senses and smells that there’s no consent in part of the equation, then here come the rape police.”
Uh, yeah… and his point is?
Just imagine if one of #BillClinton‘s accusers also said she was treated inappropriately by #DonaldTrump
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Donald Trump’s response to a People Magazine reporter who said he had attacked her “Take a look, you take a look, look at her, look at her words — you tell me what you think. I don’t think so.”
Okay, time to open the pool on the gender gap in this years election? About 50 points seems a good start….
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Interesting, got a travel agent survey asking if I am more or less likely to recommend Trump properties since he became a candidate, if my clients are more or less likely to ask for Trump properties, if clients have refused to stay in a Trump property…… and if any of this has changed since the “Access Hollywood” tapes….
If this was campaign was a build-a-brand exercise for the Donald, it’s not working.
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The NY Times, in response to a demand by Trump to retract its groping story or be sued “We decline to do so.” And then “the essence of a libel claim, of course, is the protection of one’s reputation…. Nothing in our article has had the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, has already created for himself.”
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, holiday jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Dodgers jokes, dusty baker jokes, email jokes, Janice Hough, Nationals jokes, Trump jokes
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October 12, 2016
So denial, then anger. Is the bargaining phase when we start rooting for #DustyBaker at least to get a ring? @SFGiants
What time is the game on tomorrow? Oh wait…. Yeah, baseball is designed to break your heart. #MLB #SFGiants
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So in looking on bright side as #SFGiants fan, if #BlueJays make it to #WorldSeries we might get to watch #JustinTrudeau attend games.
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#SFGiants going into late innings with 5 runs and a big lead does not appear to be a winning strategy. #NLDSGame4 #WorldSeries2002
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Meanwhile, the San Diego Padres have fired their President after the team missed the postseason for the 10th straight year. So wonder who the next interim president will be.
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Lebron James “In our locker room, they talk about sports highlights from the previous night, family and game strategy. what that guy was saying, that’s not — I don’t know what that is. That’s trash talk.”
It’s getting harder and harder to dislike King James.
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The NFL is now penalizing players using Saints WR Brandin Cooks bow-and-arrow touchdown celebration, which he has always said was a sign of his faith in God. They say the gesture “mimics a violent act.”
A football league. “A violent act.” And they said it with a straight face.
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You can’t make this stuff up. Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway told GOP leaders who may be wavering in their support: “Enough of the pussyfooting around”
So was that supposed to be an attention grabbing comment?
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The SF Chronicle reported that earlier this month Alaska AIrlines removed a passenger who was harassing a female flight attendant, saying things like “oooh, sexy,” during the safety demonstration. So did the guy think he was in a locker room or something?.
So I assume Russian hackers are only leaking emails from Democrats because Republicans never have said anything untoward in an email?
At a Florida rally, Donald Trump’s response after a woman fainted: “That woman was out cold, and now she’s coming back! We don’t go by these new – and very much softer – NFL rules. Concussions ‘Oh, you’ve got a little ding on the head. No, no, you can’t play for the rest of the season.’ Our people are tough.”
So let’s add NFL players and others who have suffered serious brain injuries to the list of people the Donald has taunted. Who had October 12 in the pool?
(My friend Linda points out, but if Hillary faints, she’s unfit for the Presidency.”)
Less than noble stuff in latest #wikileaks #PodestaEmails. But I’m sure most of us never say or email anything we wouldn’t want on front page
Even #BIllCosby has to be looking at #Trump & saying “Are you kidding me?”
This Donald Trump sexual assault issue is rapidly becoming another “He said, she said, she said, she said, she said, story.:”
And no doubt the Trump campaign’s response will be to dredge up more allegations against Bill Clinton. When this election is over most of America will be ready for a good hot long shower….
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From Marc Ragovin: “Melania Trump announced today that Donald will no longer be in charge of assembling the grab bags for their son Baron’s upcoming birthday party”
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Lebron James jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
October 9, 2016
And once again the #MLBPlayoffs are a great time for As fans to watch their ex-players shine
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Tonight in a game that overlapped Presidential Debate #2, the Blue Jays finished off a sweep of the Rangers. So how unfair is this…. Canada beats the U.S. at our own national pastime. And they have Justin Trudeau?
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At this point if it came out that #Trump actually had shot someone on 5th Avenue, his supporters would claim Hillary & Bill had shot more
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After the O.J. trial, there was speculation that some of the jurors felt he was guilty, but they were so angry at the long-term behavior of the LAPD that they voted to acquit him. Watching some Trump supporters, who are so angry at the system, stick with him now feels a bit like that.
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Hillary Clinton, on her husband “I hope people will accept his apology, as I have, and focus on the important issues facing our nation and the world.” How dare she defend the indefensible like that. Oh, wait, that was Melania. Never mind.
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At this point number of women defending #Trump for leaked comments is about same as number of newspapers endorsing him.
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#RudyGuiliani “The fact is that men at times talk like that. Not all men, but men do. ” Of course when Rudy does it he includes 9-11.
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“It’s just words.” Can someone ask Trump how he would feel if someone , other than him, said those words about his daughter or wife?
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So can we assume that all the men defending @realDonaldTrump on this comments talk the same way about women themselves?
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So if @realDonaldTrump is somehow still elected will his Presidential library be the first to have an NC17 rating?
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#JohnKasich “Our country deserves better.” Translation “I am available.”
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So if all major newspapers not endorsing Trump hasn’t dented his support have to wonder if major politicians backing away will matter.
No handshake tonight. So congrats to the winners of tonight’s first prop bet. (Bet they didn’t get very good odds)
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“Mommy, is this the scary clown we should be afraid of?” Children watching debate
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Trump strategy is to count on fact that enough Americans hate Hillary they are willing to risk America’s future to see her in jail? #debate
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Is there any woman watching Sunday’s debate who isn’t creeped out by Trump’s spacing and lurking around Hillary’s back?
If Hillary Clinton should have had power to change tax code etc as a Senator, why didn’t Donald Trump just run for Senate.
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Hillary’s #basketofdeplorables is a sign of hate in her heart. Trump’s #grabherbythepussy is locker room banter. Got it. #sarcasm #debate
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“It’s locker room talk” and I will defeat ISIS. Because I want a first crack at those 72 virgins. #Trump #debate
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Trump brings up Bill Clinton’s past, now Hillary gets asked about her husband’s ACA comment. And men wonder why women are pissed off?
“I know nothing about Russia.” Donald Trump should have stopped with the first three words.
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Rumor @mike_pence considering asking to be removed from ticket? Fact we even question if rumor is true proves you can’t make this election up.
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Guessing that most undecided Americans now want moderators @andersoncooper and @MarthaRaddatz to run for President.
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Categories: baseball jokes, debate jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: blue jays jokes, deplorables jokes, endorsement jokes, Janice Hough, oj jokes, Rudy Giuliani jokes
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October 6, 2016
You do have to wonder how many shut out innings Madison Bumgarner was planning on pitching last night #SFGiants
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Although, as the legend grows, Bumgarner reportedly to Gillaspie after 3-run home run top of 9th ” Conor, I appreciate the hell out of that.” #SFGiants
Nice tweet today “Baseball has a way of ripping your 
out, stabbing it, putting it back in your chest, then healing itself just in time for Spring Training.”
The tweeter? Noah Syndergaard.
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So are the ALDS teams even playing the same sport as the #Mets & #SFGiants played last night? #TORvsTEX #BOSvsCLE #notexactlypitchersduels
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President Obama’s approval rating is up to 55%, the highest in his second term. No doubt because the longer this election season goes on, the more many Americans have decided they don’t want him to leave.
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Waiting for #Trump to say if he were President he’d have a beautiful wall to protect USA from #HurricaneMatthew & Mexico would pay for it.
Florida Governor Rick Scott, reiterating an evacuation call for the state: ‘Do not surf. Do not go on the beach. This will kill you.”
He could also add “Beachgoers and surfers will automatically qualify for a Darwin award.”
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Apparently a number of people are planning to stay put and try to ride #HurricaneMatthew out. On the brighter side for humanity, not only are they probable Darwin winners, these folks probably won’t be around to vote. #cantfixstupid
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Although it’s from October 30, 2012, this tweet is real, from Donald Trump “Hurricane is good luck for Obama again- he will buy the election by handing out billions of dollars.”
#nocomment
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Rush Limbaugh said this week of Hurricane Matthew predictions that the National Weather service, which is “part of the Obama administration.. might be playing games because it’s in the interests of the left to have destructive hurricanes because then they can blame it on climate change, which they can continue desperately continue trying to sell.”
#Wearegoingtoneedabiggerbasket
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Who says he doesn’t care about average Americans? Donald Trump at a rally today:. “I don’t care how sick you are. I don’t care if you just came back from the doctor and he gave you the worst possible prognosis, meaning it’s over, you won’t be around in two weeks. Doesn’t matter. Hang out till November 8th. Get out and vote.”
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Ok, for those who didn’t think #HurricaneMatthew was serious. The #SEC has actually cancelled the LSU Florida football game.
During a parliamentary debate in Noraway, Prime Minister Erna Solberg was reportedly seen on camera using her phone to play Pokemon Go. Well, it’s at least as productive as trying to repeal Obamacare for the 57th time.
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ALDS jokes, hurricane jokes, Janice Hough, madbum jokes, Mets jokes, Obama jokes, Trump jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 3, 2016
The Atlanta Braves played their last game at Turner Field yesterday. Next year they will have a beautiful new stadium in the suburbs for fans not to show up to.
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The home-plate umpire for Wednesdays Giants-Mets wild-card game is Mike Winters. SF fans might remember Winters as the ump who ejected Bruce Bochy in consecutive games last season.
East Coast bias conspiracy theories in 3….2…1…..
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SF 49ers announced today that LB NaVorro Bowman injured his Achilles and will be out for the season. Is it too soon to be thinking about that #1 draft pick?
So @Vikings who’ve lost #TeddyBridgewater & #AdrianPeterson are 4-0. A few more injuries & they could be Super Bowl contenders? #NYGvsMIN
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#VinScully may have been a #Dodgers announcer but he knows his #SFGiants. Yesterday Vin said of @hunterpence “He would make coffee nervous.”
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#JohnnyManziel has filed to extend the trademark on “Johnny Football.” Can you trademark an oxymoron?
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Trump’s campaign so far is turning us all into a nation with temporary ADD…. No sooner do we start focusing on one unbelievable statement than he says something else and we forget how ludicrous the last one was.
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So we can argue over whether or not either Trump or Clinton truly believe they have the U.S.’s best interests at heart. But pretty damn sure Julian Assange doesn’t.
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#NobelPrize winners will be announced this week. Wonder which one Donald Trump expects to get?
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A Bloomberg poll shows Trump trailing but +13 with whites. If true this election is not doing much for the theory of white supremacy.
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Donald Trump, speaking to veterans today “When people come back from war and combat, and they see things that maybe a lot of the folks in this room have seen many times over, and you’re strong and you can handle it, but a lot of people can’t handle it.”
So strong people don’t get PTSD the same as only losers get captured? WTF?
Maybe @realDonaldTrump didn’t mean to imply that strong vets don’t get PTSD, but how do you know? ” This is the guy who said about John McCain “I like people that weren’t captured”
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Everyone should have the genius to lose a billion dollars in a year so they can avoid taxes for the next decades. #TrumpFinancialTips.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Braves jokes, Janice Hough, nobel prize jokes, Trump jokes, Vikings jokes, Vin Scully jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 1, 2016
Seems like old times – #RyanVogelsong starting tomorrow against #Cardinals tomorrow and a win puts the #SFGiants in playoffs..
As expected, #TyBlach vs #ClaytonKershaw was no contest, really. #SFGiants #Dodgers
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One thing you can say about #TyBlach, he’s no #SalomonTorres. #SFGiants
Heaven knows the SF Giants have had some horrible losses this year. But when the playoffs are on the line & you lose to the Braves and the As, well, then maybe you really shouldn’t be in the postseason. #Tigers #Mariners
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By my count, #SFGiants pitchers have 48 hits & 33 RBI’s this year. #WedontneednostinkinDH #PitchersWhoRake
Alabama coach Nick Saban says of star LB Tim Williams, arrested this week on gun charges, that he will face “internal” discipline, which will not involve a loss of playing time. So what will Williams have to do – go to a class? #suspensionsareforbenchplayers
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Tomorrow morning’s game – try to tell the difference between whatever lines are uttered by Alec Baldwin tonight on SNL pretending to be Trump. and lines from the real Donald.
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Trump tweeted last night “For those few people knocking me for tweeting at three o’clock in the morning, at least you know I will be there, awake, to answer the call!”
True, but maybe we don’t want the call answered by someone in the midst of the Twitter equivalent of drunk-dialing?.
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Flipping through Glamour magazine at the nail salon I saw some interviews with women saying who they were voting for and why. About 2/3 were for Clinton, but one Trump gal starts out her statement “When I was little I was for Hillary….” She is 18 years old.
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The Seahawks’ Doug Baldwin, a Stanford graduate whose father is a police officer, says he has received death threats because he called for law enforcement “to eliminate militaristic cultures while putting a higher emphasis on de-escalation tactics and crisis management measures.”
Got to wonder if some of the threats are from people who couldn’t even translate what he said.
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Friday’s top quote: I’m “not sure anybody is more qualified than Hillary Clinton to be president of the United States.” The speaker, Bill Weld – former governor of Massachusetts and Gary Johnson’s running mate.
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So by comparison was Leona Helmsley one of the “little people” who paid taxes?
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#LastTimeTrumpPaidTaxes #HillaryClinton was just signing up for a newfangled AOL email account.
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Jacob Hall, the 6 year-old boy shot at his South Carolina elementary school this week has died. His alleged 14-year old killer had been home-schooled since he was been expelled for bringing a gun to class. So are we going to build walls around schools or make sure all children are armed?
From Marc Ragovin. “no bigger joke than the way mlb handled the end of thursday’s Cards/Reds game.”
(for anyone who didn’t watch or didn’t read about it later, the umpires somehow missed the fact that a ball bounced out of play over the fence and then bounced back, which was a ground rule double, and not a ball that would have let the Cardinals runner score from first.)
From Neal , post Friday night. “Tonight’s #SFGiants game & his body slam of a fan running on the field, free agent #AngelPagan may be offered a contract by the #SF49ers?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, political jokes. election jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: gary johnson jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, tax jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
September 30, 2016
Open note to MLB commisioner Rob Manfred. Watch replays of Friday night’s SFGiants Dodgers game. Then please never consider giving NL a DH. #pitchershwhorake
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Also after tonight’s #SFGiants game & his body slam of a fan running on the field, free agent #AngelPagan may be offered a contract by the #SF49ers
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The brightest note for #Stanford fans tonight, at least tonight’s loss won’t go in the category of heartbreaker.
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The CDC now says men who travel to Zika area should wait 6 months before unprotected sex. So much for those fun NBA road trips to Miami.
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Richard Trentlage, 87, has passed away. He was known for writing the Oscar Meyer jingle, one of the most iconic of our time. So if he gets his wish, will Trentlage be reincarnated as an Oscar Meyer Weiner?
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Former NBA commissioner David Stern says he has changed his mind and now wants expanded legal sports betting in the United States. Because that’s going to be the only way to get most Americans to care about the NBA regular season?
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Anthony Bourdain, asked if he would dine with Trump, replied “Absolutely f—ing not,” and described the Donald as “loathsome.” And this is a man who has eaten bull testicles, seal eyes and hakari (dried fermented shark.),
If @realDonaldTrump were elected President that 3:00am phone call might be from his chief of staff telling him to get off Twitter.
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But if elected will Donald Trump’s first act as President to be to close down all U.S. newspapers?
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Donald Trump and Twitter, the gift that keeps on giving: “Remember, don’t believe “sources said” by the VERY dishonest media. If they don’t name the sources, the sources don’t exist.”
Did “many people” tell Trump the sources didn’t exist?
Donald Trump, in a NY Times interview, said that infidelity was “never a problem” during his three marriages. Well, I guess it wasn’t a problem for him.
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That moment when a thrice-married overweight man calls out his former beauty pageant winner for her sexual past & her size.
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Another commie-pinko media type for Hillary:
“But most Americans will soon make their choice. It will be either Mr. Trump or Mrs. Clinton – experienced, forward-looking, indomitably determined and eminently sane. Her election alone is what stands between the American nation and the reign of the most unstable, proudly uninformed, psychologically unfit president ever to enter the White House.”
Dorothy Rabinowitz, Wall Street Journal editorial board:
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I miss Walter Cronkite. #Election2016
Categories: GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Giants jokes, Janice Hough, madbum jokes, Trump jokes, Weiner jokes, zika jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
Left Coast Sports Babe 