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Burning not so bright?

April 9, 2015

Hard to be believe there will come a time when Tiger Woods retires, and ESPN will have to report who’s actually leading a golf tournament as opposed to how Tiger is doing on the course.

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The seven top Kentucky scorers are all leaving early for the NBA draft. But the WIldcats are still favored to win the NCAA championship in 2016. Seinfeld used to talk about rooting for laundry, heck, this is rooting for a recruiting class.

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President Obama visited the Bob Marley museum in Jamaica and commented that he “had all his albums.” Some in the GOP immediately responded “That’s it, proof that Obama’s a ‘stoner.'” Some in the younger generation responded “what’s an album?”

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We’re almost to the NBA playoffs, which don’t end up with a catchy name like “World Series” or “Super Bowl.” Guess there’s just not enough of a ring to “April-May-June Madness”

 

The Minnesota Twins have scored 1 run in their first 36 innings. Are they trying to become the official MLB team of Major League Soccer?

 

#‎TroyPolamalu‬ has retired. Many ‪#‎Steelers‬ fans will fly their hair at half mast.

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Well this should make for a fun locker room…. Last year Seahawks DE Michael Bennett called Jimmy Graham “one of the softest players in the NFL.” Now after Graham was traded from New Orleans to Seattle, Bennett said today in a radio interview “I still feel the same way, just because he’s on my team I don’t stop feeling that way.”

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An Icelandair plane enroute to Denver was hit by lightning. It landed 7 1/2 half hours later despite a hole in its nose. The aircraft will now be christened “Keith Richards.”

 

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Atlanta Hawks forward Thabo Sefolosha apparently fractured his tibia while interfering with police after the 4am stabbing of Indiana Pacers forward Chris Copeland outside “1 Oak.” Hmm, will the Knicks strategy to win next year involve giving opposing players nightclub passes?

 

 

From Marc Ragovin   “Seen in New York: “Welcome to Madison Square. Where the Rangers and Knicks have combined for one President’s Trophy””

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The Padres’ Ian Kennedy out with an injury while pitching in the third. Shocking, the 2015 SF Giants are capable of breaking a player who isn’t on their own team?

 

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Hard for SF Giants fans to watch Casey McGehee make 2 errors tonight, AND hit into a double play with runners at 1st and 3rd in the 9th. Although Mcgehee is hitting .294. And Pablo Sandoval is hitting .167. ‪#‎theoryofrelativity‬

 

From T.C.  – the groaner of the week.  “Cubs fans had to pee into cups as the restrooms at Wrigley Field were out of order on Opening Day. For those that drank more than a couple of beer, they needed to use a relief pitcher.”

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Chris Christie apparently is going to ratchet up his campaigning next week after falling in most polls. One of his NH supporters, Bill Greiner told CNN “John McCain was left for dead in 2007 and 2008, and look what happened. Gov. Christie is very similar to McCain.”
Does this mean the NJ Gov. will get the nomination and then pick a complete whack job for a running mate?

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On a serious note, just wondering, if they can put a camera and computer in a little phone, or a watch, why can’t they put a camera in a gun? Like a police gun. Like all police guns.

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Missed it by how much?

April 8, 2015

The NCAA’s supervisor of officials said none of them saw the CBS video feed on the controversial out-of-bounds call at the end of the national championship game. But today Dan Gavitt, the NCAA’s VP told ESPN that officials DID see it. Ah, well this ought to reassure all the Duke conspiracy theorists….

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The Boston Celtics are making a late push for the #8 seed in the Eastern Conference. Isn’t that the NBA equivalent of making it to the March Madness play-in game?

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The mayor of Hillsboro, Mo, population 2,800, died March 9, but was re-elected yesterday. Well, maybe the voters figured, it’s been a month, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

 

 

New York Knicks owner James Dolan just said in an interview “You got to believe, baby! I believe, I believe!” And even Cubs fans are saying “Are you bleeping nuts?”

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Someone is selling a New Orleans Saints Super Bowl ring on Craigslist. Maybe one of the Jets should buy it, might be their best chance at getting a ring.

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Mitt Romney who had Duke over Wisconsin in the NCAA championship, tweeted “Should have put $10,000 on my bracket. Congrats, Coach K and @DukeU,” Prompting an immediate call for Romney to reconsider entering the 2016 race, from Pete Rose.

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I understand the American way of justice, and it’s mostly a good thing. Still seems somehow odd to spend millions of dollars saving a critically injured man’s life, and then millions of dollars to try him, and then probably now millions of dollars over appeals to a death penalty conviction. ‪#‎BostonMarathonExplosion‬

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A new book about the White House says that during a fight after the Monica Lewinsky affair came to light, Hillary Clinton called Bill a “g*ddamn b*stard” and that she had him sleep on a couch for a few months. Some say the revelations could hurt Hillary’s candidacy. Thinking it might make a lot of women like her better.

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Aqib Talib, a CB for the Denver Broncos, who had charges dropped after an alleged gun incident in 2011, is apparently being investigated again for allegedly firing a gun into the air during a fight at a Dallas nightclub. So clearly the Aaron Hernandez trial is serving as a cautionary lesson to other NFL players. ‪#‎facepalm‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Pitcher Chris Heston missed his Opening Day start for the Sacramento River Cats. Bummer.  ‪#‎SFGiants‬

(and the way his start went, he may never have that start.)

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The media is reporting that last year Barry Manilow married his manager and apparently  long time partner. Garry Kief.  I am shocked, said absolutely positively nobody.

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A scary thought about that South Carolina case. If the person with the cellphone video saw what really happened, what about that officer’s partner?

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As Rand Paul is getting unfavorable coverage for lecturing journalists, especially female journalists, on how to do their jobs, #”‪#‎Randsplaining‬ is trending on Twitter. Well, it’s a good thing for Paul that if he stays in the Presidential race he won’t have to be dealing with this sort of thing in future. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎cantfixarrogant‬ either.

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The boys of fall, winter, spring and summer?

March 6, 2015

To eliminate some of the back-to-back games and insane road trips, the NBA is thinking of lengthening the season into July. Great, so this means the playoffs would finish the week before the start of pre-season?

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In England, an 11-yr-old boy was sent home from “World Book Day,” where his choice of costume was Christian Grey (fully clothed in a suit) from “Fifty Shades.” The school had no problem with Voldemorts, Darth Vaders, and even a teacher dressed up at Dexter the serial killer. ‪#‎priorities‬ ‪#‎facepalmBritishdivision‬

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Susan Sarandon, 68, and her 37 year old boyfriend have apparently split up. Here’s hoping she left him for a younger guy.

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Friday in the Aaron Hernandez murder trial, the prosecution told jurors that a marijuana cigarette butt containing Hernandez’s DNA was found near the victim’s body. At this point even O.J. is throwing up his hands and saying there’s no need to look for the real killers.

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Two TSA screeners at SFO have been charged with taking bribes to allow methamphetamine to be smuggled in carry-on luggage. According to the SF Chronicle, authorities said the operation was planned “in part through messages on Facebook.”

Well, leaving aside how warm and secure that makes us all feel, what tipped police off? Was FB sending them ads for “Breaking Bad” DVDs or something?

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A man was arrested after he called 911 to report that his wife had stolen his cocaine. No, and it wasn’t Florida. Ohio wins this round. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

 

Got to love it. Not only does the elderly woman totter down to her exit row middle seat on United, and then totter off the plane, she has a wheelchair waiting. ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬ airline winner for the month.

(and no, the woman who got the extra legroom, the airline that let her do it.)

One runway is still closed at LaGuardia after that Delta plane crashed into a snowbank. So will passengers who want on-time flights be asked to chip in for a “priority runway” fee?

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All these headlines saying Hunter Pence broke his arm. Actually technically a Cubs pitcher broke Pence’s arm. With a fastball. ‪#‎grammarpolice‬
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So the NCAA has suspended Jim Boeheim for 9 games next season and will take away scholarships after finding “over the course of a decade, Syracuse University did not control and monitor its athletics programs, and its head men’s basketball coach failed to monitor his program.” And in Kentucky, John Calipari is just giggling.

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Rory McIlroy, unhappy with a shot into the water today at Doral, hurled the club in after the ball. Bad news, he’ll probably be fined. Good news, the throw was good enough the Marlins might offer him a pitching tryout.

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So the Dow fell 279 points Friday because the jobs report was 295,000 which was better than expected, and unemployment tell to 5.5% which was lower than expected. The GOP is trying to figure out how to blame Obama for the former, without giving him credit for the latter.

 

From Marc Ragovin:  “A 50-year old Oregon man claims that he is Wilt Chamberlain’s son. Vegas bookmakers have set the odds on this being legit at 20,000 to 1.”

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50 Shades of Red-faced?

February 9, 2015

As we approach the premiere of “Fifty Shades of Gray,” expect all sorts of potentially embarrassing moments at the theater. For #1 may I suggest, bringing a date and running into your parents.

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Michelle Obama says that the former White House chef banned boxed macaroni and cheese and told them “cheese dust is not food.” Stand by for a rebuttal from John Boehner and the orange lobby.

 

Open note to any young person thinking of a career in television news. Maybe us grownups might have been able to get away with a tall tale or two. But these days it doesn’t matter how trivial the lie, even if it’s not bothering to wash your hands in a public restroom.. Someone will have seen it, and they probably have cellphone video.

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At the University of Texas, a frat house is facing criticism for an alleged “border patrol” party last weekend near campus. Really? They couldn’t have just done something classier like “Pimps and prostitutes?”

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Alabama today became the 37th state to allow same-sex marriage. In some ways am amazed more conservatives aren’t applauded. Not only is it less government intrusion into private lives, same-sex couples mean less dealing with that abortion issue.

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Three major snowstorms in Boston in three weeks. Is this the moment where a house-hunting Pablo Sandoval looks at his agent and says “Uh, why didn’t you tell me about this?” ‪#‎70inSFthisweek‬

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So a guy pays a prostitute $70, then falls asleep afterwards and she steals his gun from the hotel room. Florida? Nope, Reno, Nevada. And the man in question is a policeman. Who has now been suspended. Sometimes its not just crooks who are stupid.

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Brett Favre posted today on his website: “I’m pleased to announce that I will be returning to Green Bay, Wisconsin in 2015 for induction into the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame and retirement of my jersey.” How much do we want the Packers to issue their own statement “Uh, Brett, we’re thinking we might want to hold the ceremony in 2016, or 2017. Can you hold on while we decide?”

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Yahoo mail has been running an ad lately. “Girlfriend needed. No games, Just real guys looking for a faithful women (sic.)” Gotcha, so nothing about the guy being faithful. And clearly a woman who isn’t too picky about grammar.

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NBA Commissioner Adam Silver said today that Knicks owner Jamesm Dolan won’t be fined for an angry email in response to a fan, saying “Jim is a consummate New Yorker. Jim got an unkind email and responded with an unkind email.” So this mean Silver can still fine owners from places like Charlotte and New Orleans because Southerners are supposed to be more gracious?

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The Daily Mail is reporting that Charles Manson’s fiancée “only wanted to marry him so she could put his corpse on display in a glass coffin after he died.” Who knew it was possible Charlie might get a run for his money on being the creepiest one in a relationship?

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Parenthood isn’t what it used to be. From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg:

“Me: Ann Caroline, come down here and listen to AC/DC on the GRAMMYs.
AC: Dad, I’m doing my homework.
Me: YOU STOP THAT HOMEWORK AND COME AND LISTEN TO “HIGHWAY TO HELL,” YOUNG LADY.

What has happened to my world?”

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Wow, just wow. Not sure what I could possibly add to this. FOX’s Eric Bolling, upset about Obama’s prayer breakfast speech: “Reports say radical Muslim jihadists killed thousands of people in the past few months alone. And yet when you take Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, whatever, their combined killings in the name of religion––well, that would be zero.”

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Testing, testing.

December 24, 2014

 

Turns out North Korean internet wasn’t really hacked. Kim Jong Un just tried to switch the whole country over to AOL.

 

 

Sony now says they will release “The Interview” in 300 theaters. Wonder how long it will take before North Korea demands a share of the profits.

 

Manti Te’o said the SF 49er’s Anthony Davis was giving him a hard time about his imaginary girlfriend last weekend’ He told a reporter that he expected it last year but “this year?” Find a new joke.'” Uh, this year apparently that joke is the 49ers.

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Jamaica is going to introduce automatic kiosks for tourists entering the country, so they won’t have to talk to an immigration officer. Makes sense, who expects tourists to smuggle something INTO Jamaica.

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie say their daughter Shiloh now wants to be called “John.”  What’s odder, that she wants a boy’s name.  Or that a celebrity child actually wants a NORMAL name.

 

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Weird for current NBA fans to see the Golden State Warriors to fall to the Lakers.  Even weirder, for longtime Warriors and Lakers fan that this year  it might have been considered a “trap game.”

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Lots of NBA games on Christmas day, and the league expects good ratings. Not that any NBA games really matter in December, but hey, any excuse for many people to stop talking to their relatives.

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Why there is no satire. U.S. Rep. Michael Grimm pleaded guilty to federal tax evasion. Grimm serves on the House Committee on Financial Services…..

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Hawaii is expecting a White Christmas with an actual snow blizzard on Mauna Kea. Okay, this one we can definitely blame on Obama.

 

 

Much sympathy for the family of ‪#‎AntonioMartin‬. But these days it doesn’t matter what color you are, it is a REALLY REALLY bad idea to raise a gun to a police officer.

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Do the math,

November 14, 2014

Why there is no satire, NBA division. Kobe Bryant on the Spurs. “I don’t know if I can express to you how jealous I am of the fact that Tim, Tony Manu and Pop have been together for all those years”. Bryant’s salary for 2014 – $23 million. Duncan $10 million, Parker $12 million.

‪#‎iwoulddoanythingforlovebutiwontdothat‬

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Prince WIlliam and Kate are coming to the U.S. for a three day visit December. Some Americans don’t see all the fuss over a couple people who just happen to be part of a Royal family. Wonder if the dignitaries meeting their Highnesses will include Bill and Hillary Clinton, and both former President Bushes?

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The Department of Energy loan guarantee program, famous for the Solyndra default, has actually started turning a PROFIT on its $34.2 billion in loans, as some companies are becoming successful and paying money back. So where’s all the GOP blame for Obama?

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The 0-8 Philadelphia 76ers,, who just lost by 53 to the Dallas Maverickst, are making a strong bid to become the worst NBA team ever. Sadly, even if they run the table, this team probably couldn’t even win the draft lottery.

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Dick Vitale, 75, said “My goal is to be the first broadcaster in the history of broadcasting to work at a game when I’m 100 years old.” And somewhere Vin Scully just giggled.

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The NBA has released pictures of this year’s Christmas uniforms, which will feature team logos on the front, first names of players on the back, and will be sold by Adidas for $110. Except presumably for the Lakers jerseys, which will cost twice as much and break down after a few wearings.

 

 

The NFL fined NY Jets coach Rex Ryan $100,000 for profanity after his team beat the Steelers. Well, if winning generates that kind of outburst at least Rex won’t be out of pocket too much the rest of this season.

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There’s going to be a musical based on the reality show “Duck Dynasty.” “The Duck Commander Family Musical” will open in Las Vegas next February. Just the thing for those straight male rednecks who have been waiting for THEIR Broadway show. Both of them.

And have to wonder, will the Robertson’s put a “morality” clause on sexual orientation for actors…?  If so, hope they’re planning on a one or two man show.

 

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Former Chicago Mayor Jane Byrne has passed away. She leaves quite a legacy – the first woman mayor of the city, and one of the few Illinois leaders never to have been arrested.

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Starting to get emails and banner ads about “The 117th Big Game between Stanford and Cal” on November 22.” Of course, the time isn’t set yet. Because nothing says how important a rivalry game is like a “TBA” on the schedule for television. Sigh.

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An Alabama high school teacher has been arrested and charged with three sexual incidents with students in six months. Think she took being a physically education teacher a bit too seriously?

 

 

 

From Alex Kaseberg  “Chicago Bear receiver, Brandon Marshall, upset by a remark made about his mother, challenged one of his twitter followers $25,000 to fight him. Bears QB Jay Cutler threw out the same challenge, but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown.”

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Down to the wire

October 28, 2014

This just in.   ESPN experts predict winner of Wednesday’s SF Giants  KC Royals game will win the World Series.

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SF Giants game 7 strategy?  Wear out KC Royals bats in game 6?

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So ESPN wanted Derek Jeter to matter in the postseason. And who knows, the SF Giants, baseball’s most consistent unkillable cockroaches, may well win tomorrow. But home field advantage for this World Series was probably decided by Wainwright deciding to groove that farewell All-Star pitch….

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Only fun San Francisco fans are having tonight with ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ so far is thinking how dismal the ratings must be for ‪#‎FOX‬ at this point in Game 6. .‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Saddest story of this MLB postseason is of course Oscar Tavares. But his death apparently inspired two friends, Juan Perez and Yordano Ventura, to have the games of their lives. ‪#‎WorldSeries‬

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Bus to hell time. TMZ is reporting that Jose Canseco blew his middle finger off his right hand while cleaning his handgun at home in Las Vegas. Well, not like he used it for fielding or anything.

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Taking time out from the World Series, send good wishes to Gordie Howe. Mr. Hockey, who at 86 is apparently recovering from a “serious stroke.” He was a dominant player in his sport longer than almost anyone. Yes, including Derek Jeter.-

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First NCAA playoff rankings out. 3 ‪#‎SEC‬ teams out of 4. Shocking to many. They expected 4 #SEC teams. ‪#‎Collegefootballplayoff‬

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If NY & NJ really want to beat ‪#‎Ebola‬, forget quarantine. Have folks returning from Africa join  the #‎NYJets‬. None of them can catch anything.

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Dunkin’ Donuts is introducing a croissant-donut. But the chain maintains it is NOT a “Cronut.” Why? Because their lawyers said so.

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Sarah Palin “Those haters out there, they don’t understand that it invigorates me…. the more they’re pouring on the more I’m going to bug the crap out of them by being out there with a voice, with the message, hopefully running for office in the future, too.”  Palin “haters” and comedy writers alike heard the last part and are thinking, “Promise?”

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At a Southern Baptist conference titled “The Gospel, Homosexuality and the Future of Marriage,” some speakers talked about being the voice of a moral minority because gay marriage is a “rejection of God’s law.” Wonder why some of these folks don’t also have conferences against heterosexual adultery and divorce?

 

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The ‪#‎NBA‬ season started Tuesday night. The Philadelphia ‪#‎76ers‬ will be eliminated from playoff contention tomorrow.

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Michael Jordan, majority owner of the Charlotte Hornets, says he is “dreaming” of a seventh NBA ring. Yep, “dreaming” is absolutely the correct word.

 

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Dwight Howard said today “I didn’t leave L.A. because I was afraid of Kobe Bryant.” More like Dwight was afraid of not making the playoffs.

 

 

Meanwhile, Lakers rookie Julius Randle, the team’s #1 pick, broke his right tibia during an opening night loss. Meaning alas Randle will likely be as helpful to this year’s team as Steve Nash.

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RG III might be ready to go back in as Washington’s quarterback for their next game as the team has a bye week coming up. And fans are now thinking, take a little more time to heal your ankle. A year or two to be safe.

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Dolly Parton, on her support of gay rights: “But as far as the Christians, if people want to pass judgment, they’re already sinning. The sin of judging is just as bad as any other sin they might say somebody else is committing. I try to love everybody.” As Dolly has also said, “I know I’m not dumb, and I know I’m not blonde.”

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All they do is win

October 17, 2014

goingtokc

 

SF Giants chicks are back to digging the long ball.

 

Congrats to Travis Ishikawa. Most Americans had no clue who he was yesterday, and now he’s trending on Twitter.

 

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No Cain, no Pagan, no Scutaro. Effectively no Lincecum. And no Belt or Morse for much of the year. ‪#‎cockroaches‬ ‪#‎sfgiants‬. ‪#‎worldseries‬

 

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Somewhere Bob Brenly is smiling. ‪#‎redemption‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎WorldSeries‬

 

But the lead column on Fox Sports tonight.  “If you think Matheny deserves to be ripped, you’re right.”  Because of course Joe Buck’s network couldn’t say the SF Giants actually might have deserved to win this one.

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Back in June heard SFGiants GM Brian Sabean say how Joe Panik wasn’t ready for the big leagues yet.   Hard to imagine how good the kid might be when he IS ready.

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A new study finds that four areas of the San Andreas Fault in Northern California are now “overdue” for a significant quake. So why should Ebola have all the fear fun?

 

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Apparently Florida Gov. Rick Scott refused to start his debate against Charlie Crist when Crist had a fan under the podium, because of a ban against electronic devices. ( Which was intended to keep them from using computers-laptops-phones….)

 

Got it. So Scott would have been okay with Crist waving a big paper fan while he talked?

 

How amazing was the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ win tonight to get to the ‪#‎WorldSeries‬? They knocked the ‪#‎NYJets‬ latest loss right off ‪#‎ESPN‬ front page.

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Ann Romney said today she is still “done” with the idea of Mitt running again, but added “you know, you never do say never.” “Atta girl,” said Brett Favre.

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A judge found Donald Trump “personally liable” for knowingly operating his former Trump University without a license. So the Donald is in trouble because HE didn’t have a valid certificate.

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Seems like many of the same people whose retirement plan is to win the lottery are also convinced they’re going to get Ebola.

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Both LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzski are saying the NBA season should be shortened from 82 games. Good thing they are stars, otherwise the two might be fined for making too much sense.

 

 

From T.C. “The NBA is considering shortening their games from 48 to 44 minutes. I’d go with 46, as it’s the last two minutes that take forever.”

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Jolly good show.

July 6, 2014

That Djokovic Federer #Wimbledon2014 final lasted longer than many celebrity marriages.

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Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic both spoke during the awards ceremony after Wimbledon final. Nothing but class. Maybe they should record the ceremony and commentary as a training video for athletes in some other sports.

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And Wimbledon always brings to mind some of my favorite bathroom graffiti, seen years ago in London, on the side of the stall  – “Wimbledon spectator practice, see other wall.”  And of course on the other side-.  “Wimbledon spectator practice, see other wall.”

 

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Boris Diaw announced via Twitter that he is returning to the Spurs. After no rumors or public discussions with other teams. Once again, San Antonio falls down in the drama department.

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In two separate July 4 incidents in Northern California,  three people had part or all of their hands blown off while handling personal fireworks. Isn’t it redundant for the media to report all three people were men?

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Oops. the Houston Astros single-A affliliate Lancaster JetHawks had fireworks night Saturday, and ended up lighting the outfield wall on fire. (This after another fireworks accident in 2013.) Guess it’s not just their players who aren’t quite ready for the big leagues.

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Nelson Cruz was voted to start the All-Star Game a year after his 50-game PED suspension. If Cruz wins the game’s MVP award will Bud Selig smile and shake his hand by invoking the ABB “Anyone But Bonds” clause?.

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Buck Showalter, responding to Red Sox pitcher John Lackey’s insinuations about Nelson Cruz and PED’s, said that Lackey should be “careful” and look at his own team. Wonder which “Big” hitter the Orioles manager was referring to?

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Most amazing thing about the Brandon McCarthy to the Yankees trade? The Diamondbacks will still pay most of McCarthy’s 2014 salary. #Richgetricher

 

From T.C.. “Most of the Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’d be back for the 2016 Summer Olympics.  Of course then they’ll be competing in men’s diving.”

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

– See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

– See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

– See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

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Water world.

July 3, 2014

A Qantas flight from Los Angeles to Melbourne had to turn back when a pipe burst, sending a river of water rushing through the plane. On United they would have just kept going and charged a swimming pool fee.

 

Qantas may be changing their pre-flight briefing.  “In case of rushing water in the aisle, passengers wishing to use the restroom may use their seat cushion as a flotation device.”

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Silver lining about all these religious universities whose beliefs are so pure they don’t want the government involved in their health insurance – it will save taxpayer money because they won’t want tainted government funds for their research grants and student loans, right? #wecandream

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Apparently the #WorldCup television ratings have been higher than those of the NBA finals. #Betterflopping?

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All these NBA players working so hard to see if they can end up on teams together… If they spent as much effort actually working on playing as a team together maybe some of these prima donnas would have a better chance for a ring.

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SportsCenter Breaking News “Lebron James agent meets with multiple teams.” “Lakers and Knicks offer max to Carmelo.” This isn’t an NBA off-season, it’s a bad mini-series of “The Dating Game.”

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#SFGiants manager Bruce Bochy says he will drop Blanco – 10 for 59 since Pagan got hurt- down in the batting order “until he gets his swing.” Uh, except what if 10 for 59 IS his swing?

 

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Overheard around U.S water coolers today. “Hey, do you know when the next World Cup games are?” “No, me neither.”

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Hillary Clinton said in a BBC interview that she’s “grateful” she forgave Bill over Monica Lewinsky. “Forgiveness is a choice, and I fully respect those who don’t make that choice for whatever reason in their personal or professional lives .But for me, it was absolutely the right choice.” So where’s the applause from “family values” conservatives?

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Stay classy Mississippi. GOP State Sen. Chris McDaniel is offering a $1,000 ‘reward’ for evidence of voter fraud by Senator Thad Cochran, who beat him in the Republican Primary. In this case the “Big Tent” is more like a cover over a boxing ring.

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The economy added 288,000 jobs in June and the unemployment rate fell to 6.1% – the lowest it’s been since September 2008. Time for the GOP to call another hearing on Benghazi.

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From an anonymous friend “Next up: SCOTUS declares the Universal Suffrage Amendment unconstitutional because “it wasn’t in the original Constitution, so the Founding Fathers didn’t want it”. Cave paintings at 11″

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From Bill Littlejohn  “Food and drink will be delivered to 49er fans at the new Levi’s Stadium via GPS tracking.  Maybe they might reconsider Apple Maps, however, as a couple of construction workers there, however, report that recently their lunches were sent into San Francisco Bay”

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The Heat is Gone

June 16, 2014

#SanAntonioSpurs win the #NBA championship with a team comprised largely of immigrants. I blame Obama.

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Apparently tonight this IS a country for old men. #Spurs

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Chris Bosh “Plain and simple, we’re going to win tonight. Asked if he was guaranteeing a victory, Bosh said: “I don’t care about guarantees. We’re just going to win the game.” If it’s as simple as a prediction wonder why Bosh didn’t say this before games 3 and 4..

(and Chris Boch, you’re no Joe Namath.)

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Sunday was Father’s Day. Time to call dad. And for those whose fathers are in the NBA. Hope they called early so they didn’t get a busy signal.

 

–QB Vince Young announced his retirement from the NFL. Shocking. Vince Young hadn’t already retired?

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Before this week wonder how many people outside of Northern California #StMarys and San Antonio #Spurs had ever heard of Patty Mills?

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Relative unknown Martin Kaymer won the U.S. Open by 9 shots.  And now doubt tournament thought that after Tiger Woods pulled out, that having Phil Mickelson struggle was the worst thing that could happen to their TV ratings.

 

On Friday, #BaseballTonight asked if SF was a lock to win the NL West. Maybe it was better when ESPN was ignoring them. #SFGiants.

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Obama granted Republican Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett’s request to end the Philadelphia area transit strike, by creating a presidential emergency board to mediate the dispute. Waiting to see how the rest of the GOP spins this as wrong.

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Casey Kasem, 82, has passed away. He entertained Americans for years on radio with his countdown of the top 40 singles of the week . Many young people may ask “Casey who?”. Still more are asking “What’s a single?”

 

 

Commercials on ESPN for the USA team in the #WorldCup.”It’s the ‘Group of Death”, only two will come out alive.” Well, yeah, because only two come out of ANY group. Including “Groups of Life?”

 

 

 

French World Cup coach Didier Deschamp said he thinks his team is being spied upon by drones. Well, it’s as least as plausible as the next World Cup having been awarded to Qatar

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Kings are crowned

June 13, 2014

The San Antonio Spurs are up 3 to 1 in the NBA finals and looking good. But just guessing they aren’t planning yet to co-host a victory celebration with the Stanley Cup champion San Jose Sharks yet.

 

 

Kings beat the Rangers in 2nd OT to claim the Stanley Cup. So for now NY sports fans will have to go back to being disappointed by the Yankees and Mets.

 

 

After Mets reliever Carlos Torres’s bad outing in the 13th last night, he repeatedly punched himself in the head. Shocking Mets fans who didn’t think their bullpen could hit any target.

 

Apparently whether or not the Heat come back won’t affect Lebron James’ decision on opting out of his contract for next year. Though guessing right now he won’t be taking his talents to San Antonio. #dontneedhim.

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The Miami Herald is having a contest where the grand prize is tickets to the #NBAFinals game six. Well, those tickets could be priceless.

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Mostly adorable child who looked to be about 8 or 9 pulling a child-sized rolling suitcase with strapped on teddy bear in airport this morning. The “mostly” being because said child was completely focused on cell phone in hand. #itstartsyoung

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We’re a month out but could Mike Morse and Tim Hudson be the first #MLB teammates to be picked up off the free agent scrap heap by one team and both end up in the All Star game? #SFGiants

 

Donald Sterling may be a nasty old man with dementia. But the 29 most nervous multi-millionaires in the world right now are probably the NBA owners Sterling’s lawyers have vowed to dig up dirt on.

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We’re a month out but could Mike Morse and Tim Hudson be the first #MLB teammates to be picked up off the free agent scrap heap by one team and both end up in the All Star game? #SFGiants

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In Daytona Beach, Florida, a man was arrested for trying to solicit oral sex from an undercover police officer, and he was trying to pay her with a salad. Maybe he should have tried a doughnut

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5-1 #Netherlands over #Spain. Did someone forget to put the soccer ball in the humidor? #WorldCup

 

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Brett Favre says he hasn’t been back to Green Bay since the last game he played (and lost) against them with the Vikings in 2010. But he wants to come back, without being a distraction. So assume Favre still has hopes of being the Packers’ backup quarterback?

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For whom the polls toll?

June 11, 2014

 

All you need to know about today’s Republican party. Eric Cantor just got knocked out in the GOP primary for being too moderate.

 

Eric Cantor’s team showed him with a 34 point lead over David Brat in late May. Yet another reason for the GOP to discount commie-pinko things like numbers

 

 

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75.8% shooting in the first half by #Spurs. I was watching an #NBAFinals game and an #NBA All Star game broke out

 

 

If someone who was watching their first NBA game tonight was told in advance that it would be an aging team of veterans against a younger team of super stars, assume they would have figured the kids were the Spurs?

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Proof that the World Cup isn’t that big a deal in the U.S.: Brazil’s time zone is only an hour ahead of Eastern Daylight time. But matches will be shown in real time, not tape-delayed and “plausibly live.”

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John Calipari turned down an $80 million, 10 year contract to coach the Cleveland Cavaliers. Meaning that the NCAA is at least a year from putting sanctions on Kentucky.

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TCU (Texas Christian University) beat Pepperdine (a California Christian University) 6-5 yesterday to advance to the College World Series. So did God flip a coin to decide whose prayers to answer?

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The Rays have had three straight shut-out losses. Is Tampa Bay trying to be the official MLB team of the World Cup?

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Colts owner Robert Irsay, awaiting a hearing on his DUI arrest, gave an interview to the Indianapolis Star saying how addiction is a disease, but people don’t get help because of the stigma. Perhaps in his case, but how many people also don’t get help because of the cost of treatment and rehab?

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If the four Americans killed in Benghazi had been on leave in Washington, D.C. and were fatally shot by some crazy guy with a handgun, the GOP would have forgotten about them. #sadbuttrue

 

I’m the least PC liberal I know, but George Will, really?? Talking about “sexual assault” only in quotations and saying that colleges are making “victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges.” Really? Makes Limbaugh’s “slut” comment about a woman using birth control almost seem quaint.

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“America Rising,” a Republican opposition research group, attacked Hillary Clinton for being “someone who is extremely out of touch with the financial reality facing Americans,” because the two homes the Clintons purchased in Chappaqua,and D.C. cost around $4.5 million combined. The best part about this, “America Rising” was started by the former campaign manager for Mitt Romney.

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United Airlines announcement today  “We’re changing the MileagePlus® program to reward our members for their travel spending with United®. And we’re adding new ways to use your award miles, to make the frequent flyer program with the best award availability* even better. Translation, “Most of you are getting screwed.”

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Continuing Heat wave?

June 6, 2014

San Antonio says they have fixed the air conditioning after a sweltering game 1 at A T & T Center. Considering the result, have they fixed it at a constant 90 degrees? #Spurs

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Lebron James says “I know I’m the easiest target that we have in sports, I’m aware of it.” And A-Rod responded “Who am I, chopped liver?”

 

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Bud Selig twice referred yesterday to the of the 20014 MLB Draft. 20014? Maybe the commissioner was confused. That’s when his Blue Ribbon Committee will make a decision on the proposed move of the Oakland As..

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Rashad McCants, who as a junior was a member of UNC’s championship men’s basketball team, says that tutors wrote his papers and he took ‘bogus” classes to stay eligible during his three years at the university. Gosh,at least Calipari’s “one-and-dones’ only fake their way through one semester.

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J.Lo and Casper Smart have split up. Wonder if she left him for a younger man?

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John McCain is loudly criticizing President Obama’s deal to release Bowe Bergdahl. Which is particularly interesting considering that Senator McCain himself was part of a POW swap by Richard Nixon. #memoryisthefirstthingtogo

 

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Friday was the 70th anniversary of #DDay, the invasion of Normandy. For many college football players not to be confused with days when they found they barely avoided “F”s in class.

 

An analyst says the New York Knicks could now be worth $3 billion. Could you imagine how much the team might be worth if they could actually make the playoffs?

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A Ghana witch doctor says he put a spell on Portugal star Cristiano Ronaldo and caused his thigh injury. Yeah, well if the witch doctor is really good let’s see if he can get Ghana out of the World Cup first round…..

 

 

The first tweet from @CIA -“We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.” Waiting for some GOP House member to call this a time wasting exercise and blame it on Obama.

 

A San Antonio area school district is upsetting some parents by banning children from bringing sunscreen to school or on field trips. Sunscreen is considered a toxic substance. Wonder if it’s okay if kids bring something harmless instead, like guns.

(My friend Jeff Klein adds “Tan your Ground.”)

 

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Richard Sherman beat out Cam Newton in online voting at ESPN.com and so will be on the cover of the new “Madden NFL 15” video game. Which could be good news, for Panthers and 49ers fans.

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A Seattle Pacific University student monitor who pepper-sprayed the gunman and tackled him is being hailed as a hero. Out of habit the NRA responded, “if only he had been armed.”

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Regarding this Super Bowl Arabic-Roman numbering issue, Marty says he’s looking forward to  “World Series CVIII.”

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The Heat is really on

June 5, 2014

The air conditioning broke down at A T & T Center during game 1 of the NBA Finals between the San Antonio and Miami, resulting in temperatures inside the arena topping 90 degrees. And over in New Orleans they’re thinking. “Hah, all we had was a little Super Bowl temporary power blackout.”

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So isn’t it supposed to be the old folks who can’t handle the heat? #MIAvsSA #Spurs #Heat.

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Who knew the Heat couldn’t handle the Heat?

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So the Seattle Pacific University gunman was apparently subdued by pepper-spraying students as he stopped to reload. So the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a non-automatic gun and good guys with pepper spray?

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South Carolina police are investigating how a loaded gun wound up among children’s toys at a Myrtle Beach Target store. Guns in the toy department are only supposed to be found at Walmart.

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A Crowne Plaza in Mexico City is advertising a room as “2 DBL BEDS WITH JACUZZI TUB. VACATION WITH YOUR SWEETIE IN THIS COZY JUNIOR SUITE.” Uh, two double beds? Reminds me of the Cialis ad with two tubs.

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The #HoustonAstros once again had today’s first draft pick. They’re now the #ClevelandCavaliers of MLB.

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Go figure. Hockey-mad Canada has the best team in the AL East, and baseball-mad New York has the best NHL team in the East. Wonder how many Torontonians can name three Blue Jays and how many New Yorkers can name three Rangers.

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A court has suspended Jim Irsay’s driver’s license for one year following his DUI arrest. Guess Roger Goodell will bring the hammer down and punish the Indianapolis Colts’ owner as severely as a player who does something really egregious, like wearing unauthorized socks.

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Understated corporate comment of the month. “You have successfully reset your password. eBay is not requesting that you take any further action at this time. If you would like to call us, please know our colleagues are especially busy right now assisting other customers and we apologize in advance for making you wait.”

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While I know as a Giants fans that the Dodgers could go on a tear any minute, Don Mattingly just said that L.A. “hasn’t felt like a true team at this point.” Gosh, wonder what the rea$on$ for that could be?

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Hillary Clinton in March criticized Vladimir Putin “a tough guy with a thin skin.” Putin’s reply in an interview aired yesterday: “It’s better not to argue with a woman. But Ms. Clinton has never been too graceful in her statements.” Well, at least he proved the second part of her statement.

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Sarah Palin is bashing Obama for releasing prisoners to free a soldier with “Anti-American views.” So I guess in future our armed forces members should fill out a political questionnaire before going to war so we can decide if they are worth saving?

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Bowe Bergdahl may be a young man with some serious issues, but what would Sarah Palin and other GOP politicians be saying if he were one of THEIR sons?

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A new Houston spa, called “Float Baby,” offers babies (with moms nearby) a 1 hour water floatation and infant massage for $65. This is why other countries hate us.

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From T.C.  “Following Super Bowl XLIX, the following year will be marketed as Super Bowl 50, using standard numerals. Why did it take them XVIII weeks to come up with this change?   Btw, The NFL has announced that Super Bowl 50 will be played in the year MMXVI.”

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What’s in a name?

May 22, 2014

50 U.S.Senators sent a letter to the NFL saying it was time for the league “to endorse a name change for the Washington, D.C. football team.” Of course the team could change from the derogatory “Redskins” to the even more derogatory “Senators.”

 

 

After her breakup with Rory McIlroy, Caroline Wozniacki said on Twitter today “It’s a hard time for me right now.” And around the world, millions of men are thinking “I could help.”.

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Fox News anchor Gregg Jarrett was arrested for being drunk and belligerent with police at Minneapolis-St. Paul airport bar yesterday afternoon. Will Jarrett claim it was because he had a wide drinking stance?

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Today’s #SFGiants Rockies game was suspended in the 6th due to weather. Will be made up when the Giants return to Denver in September. Since that’s after trade deadline and call-ups, will be interesting to see how many of the same players are still on the same teams…

 

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At June’s San Diego County Fair, attendees will be able to buy a Krispy Kreme triple cheeseburger. Presumably it comes with a side of Beta Blockers?

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A video has surfaced of an Easter sermon from “Duck Dynasty”‘s Phil Robertson “Neither the sexually immoral, nor the idolators, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” Can’t wait for Robertson’s next appearance with some of Louisiana’s members of Congress. Especially Senator David Vitter.

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Boston Red Sox pitcher Felix Doubront says he bruised his left shoulder by bumping into a car door. Was he on his way to wash his truck at the time?

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(My friend JL suggests  “Baseball players should have a writer they can go to to make up believable excuses when they hurt themselves doing something that would get them fined by the team.”.   I see a new business opportunity.)

 

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Mother of 19, Michelle Duggar, 47, says she has gone to a fertility doctor,if there are things physically I need to know, that I need to do, health-wise just to be ready to catch a baby if God saw fit to give us one..” And God is thinking “When I said ‘go forth and multiply’ I didn’t mean exponentially.”

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Miley Cyrus denied Jennifer Lawrence’s story that Cyrus told a very drunk Lawrence to “get it together” at a post-Oscars party. Makes sense, who would ever believe Miley Cyrus would tell ANYONE to get it together?

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In Virginia, a 2nd-grade teacher was arrested for allegedly being drunk while trying to teach his class. In his defense will he say he was pretending to be a pilot?

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Prince Fielder is now expected to have season-ending fusion surgery to repair a herniated disk in his neck. The Texas Rangers aren’t a baseball team, they’re an episode of “Survivor.”

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From Bill Litttlejohn:  “Witnesses say that Mitch ‘Wild Thing’ Williams ordered a beaning in a Little League game.The kid tried, but still threw the ball over the batter’s head and into the backstop””

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So with NBA playoffs that seems to go on forever, the next game is…Saturday night? Is the league trying to become as irrelevant as American Idol?

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There were no NBA playoff games tonight in either the Eastern or Western Conference. And the league is thinking, how many more off days do we need before we can stretch the postseason into, say, August?

 

 

What’s more surprising? That the Dodgers’ Zack Greinke’s stretch of 21 straight starts of allowing two or fewer runs ended, (a record that hasn’t been matched in 100 years)? Or that it ended against the NY Mets?

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From Marc Ragovin;  “I’m not saying the Mets are drawing small crowds this year, but the other day a few fans at Citi Field started doing “The Ripple.”

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So despite all the uproar about Mark Cuban’s comments about bigotry, this is what he actually said, “”I mean, we’re all prejudiced in one way or another. If I see a black kid in a hoodie and it’s late at night, I’m walking to the other side of the street. And if on that side of the street, there’s a guy that has tattoos all over his face — white guy, bald head, tattoos everywhere — I’m walking back to the other side of the street.” Strikes me as the most honest thing we’ve heard out of any NBA owner.

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Crime$ and mi$demeanor$?

May 14, 2014

90 people were arrested today, 50 in Florida, for Medicare fraud schemes estimated to total $260 million. But to be fair, the Florida folks say they were just training to run for Governor.

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The NBA on last night’s OKC-LA officiating hiccup: “There has to be ‘clear and conclusive’ evidence. Since no replay provided such evidence, the play correctly stood as called with the Thunder retaining possession.” Translation, “you really think we’re going to admit to changing the outcome of a playoff game?”

 

The NCAA penalized Oklahoma State because the football program’s Academic Progress Rate score has dropped below the minimum standard. So the Cowboys will lose the equivalent of one day’s practice a week. But OSU avoided worse sanctions, like making the players actually go to class.

 

 

Joran van der Sloot, the main suspect in Natalee Hollowa’s disappearance, is serving a 28-year sentence in Peru for killing a local woman. And now he’s getting MARRIED. To a woman he met while in prison, who is pregnant with his child. Can we title this “Not so smart woman, exceptionally foolish choices.”?

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Really? NY Daily News headline today “Nicole Kidman sparks plastic surgery rumors at Cannes?” So what’s their next headline? “This internet thing could be really big!”?

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MLB changed the call on David Ortiz’s 7th inning hit that fell between two fielders in right field during Yu Darvish’s near no-hitter from an error to a single. Just wondering, if it wasn’t a star like Big Papi, would MLB even have considered it?

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A girl escaped with scrapes and two little boys are in stable condition after wind gusts swept their inflatable bounce house into the air with them inside. Fortunately they fell out relatively quickly although the inflatable house eventually rose 50 feet and drifted several hundred yards before landing. Some will see this story and think “lawsuit”, others will think “how do I make a bounce house do that?”

 

Dallas sports anchor Dale Hansen is back. Not doing much for the Stone Age reputation of older white Southern men: “When Sam was seen celebrating with his family — and boyfriend — the world apparently shook, we almost collided with the sun, and yet SOMEHOW, we have survived another day.”–

 

 

The Missouri legislature just passed legislation requiring women to wait 72 hours to have an abortion. If they really wanted to stop abortion maybe all these mostly male legislators could pass a law making men wait 72 hours to have sex.

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Donald Sterling now says if he can keep the Clippers he won’t have to worry about an NBA players boycott. He really thinks the team will keep playing? Heck, looks like they quit already with a minute left in game five.

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Ben Sasse, who just won the GOP Primary to run for U.S. Senator from Nebraska, says on his website “Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience.” Let me guess, in all his time at Harvard and Yale, one class Sasse never took was “Comparative Religions?”

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Leland Yee is still on the ballot as running for California Secretary of State. And no doubt more than a few Californians will say “Hey, I know that name from somewhere,” and vote for him.

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The Pac-12 is set to announce that it will move their league championship football game to the 49ers’ new Santa Clara facility. Well, this will guarantee fans at Levi’s stadium the ability to see top college-level talent this year, other than the Redskins in November.

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To tweet or not to tweet?

May 11, 2014

The Dolphins said they will “sit down” with player Don Jones after he tweeted a negative reaction when the Rams drafted Michael Sam. Okay, I get that people have feelings and prejudices. But how in this day and age is an NFL player stupid enough to put it out on social media?

 

 

How much trouble could be avoided with pro athletes if Twitter had an app saying “Would your mother approve of this tweet? #HappyMothersDay

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Apparently some people did have a problem with ESPN showing Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend. Maybe they were disappointed the network didn’t show A.J. McCarron kissing Katherine Webb?

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NFL players have the right to believe whatever they want about sex and sexual orientation. But can’t remember any of them making a negative public statement about a teammate who was accused of rape or domestic violence

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From Alex Kaseberg “Happy Mother’s Day. Today hundreds of NBA players look at their ringing phones and mutter; “I’m not gonna take this one.” #MothersDay

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Walgreen’s today had a large display of Mother’s Day bouquets for $9.99 by the cash register. Which presumably went perfectly with that card you forgot and also stopped into Walgreen’s to buy.

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Anyone who says baseball players aren’t manly men, I give you Aroldis Chapman, back on the mound less than 2 months after being struck in the face by one of his 100 mph fastballs lined back at him. And he got the save for the Reds.

 

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Wonder how many people turned off the Clippers game when the Thunder had a huge lead and the Dodgers-Giants game when Kershaw had a one-run lead?

 

#SFGIants. Until further notice, #Pablosandoval is only allowed to hit with a pink bat.

(Until today, this from Andrew Baggerly on Sandoval “He has come to bat with 86 runners on base and driven in four of them.”   The Panda drove in 2 with his pink bat.)

 

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Although original rumors said Shane Skov was going to the Oakland Raiders, Skov himself tweeted that he signed as an undrafted free agent with the 49ers instead. Makes sense, he IS from Stanford, the guy is supposed to be smart.

 

“Nashville” has been renewed by ABC.  Yes!  Yes! Yes!  #Guiltypleasures

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Sam I Ram.

May 10, 2014

Sign of progress, it seemed absolutely irrelevant today that Michael Sam’s boyfriend is white. #Thetimestheyareachanging #MichaelSa

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A thought about Michael Sam being drafted. Yeah, maybe some in the media are making too much of it. But changes don’t get to be small deals without the first ones being big deals.

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CNN commentator Margaret Hoover, on the Rams’ drafting Michael Sam, that she hopes the message will be for high school kids that “they don’t have to be afraid of choosing to be gay or choosing their dream in sportsmanship and professional sports.”   Just like Jackie Robinson helped kids not be afraid of choosing to be black.

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A.J. McCarron, who is now engaged to Katherine Webb, has been chosen in the NFL draft by Cincinnati. And Brent Musberger has already inquired about broadcasting Bengals games.

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Today is Mother’s Day. Or as they say in the NBA “So many women, so little time.”

 

–It may be “No Country for Old Men” but it sure is a Western Conference Semifinals for old men. #Spurs

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#SFGiants Pablo Sandoval has as much a chance of getting a hit w/ 2 strikes now as Donald Sterling does of getting another NAACP award.

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For the second time in 3 days, planes have hit birds at LaGuardia Airport. No injuries were reported. “Speak for yourselves,” say relatives of the birds.

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Elin Nordegren, speaking at her Rollins College graduation, mentioned that her divorce “was right after I had taken communication and the media… I probably should have taken more notes in that class.” Tiger is just glad Elin wasn’t taking lessons in how to swing a golf club.

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A South Carolina high school teacher has been accused of having sex with three different students in one day. Clearly these budget cutbacks have our educators stretched too thin.

 

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Headline “IndyCar Grand Prix of Indianapolis Marred by Huge Crash.” And a lot of casual racing fans are thinking “Marred?”

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The NBA apparently believes it can also remove Donald Sterling’s estranged wife Shelly from ownership of the Los Angeles Clippers. If private phone conversations are a problem, how much more slippery a slope is being married to an a**hole?

 

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Not quite a Virgin flight…

May 7, 2014

A woman was detained and then released by Las Vegas police after she apparently got drunk on board a Virgin Atlantic flight from London and noisily joined the Mile High Club,with a man she had just met on board. The best part – she was traveling with her PARENTS. And you think some of your family vacations have been awkward.

 

 

The NFL Draft is coming Thursday. For the uninitiated, that means for a few days ESPN will be only slightly less fixated on the draft than CNN has been on MH370.

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After a social media storm,  Eric LeGrand is again speaking at Rutgers’ commencement. “I’ll take ‘Damage Control’ for $1000, Alex.”

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Apparently Toronto mayor Rob Ford may have disappeared on his way to rehab in Chicago. You actually kind of hope he’s hiking the Appalachian Trail

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Golden State Warriors have fired coach Mark Jackson, saying they think “it’s time to move in a different direction.” Like back out of the playoffs?

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SFGiants are getting about as much production out of Pablo Sandoval as they would if he were on the DL.

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Many frustrated #SFGiants fans want Bruce Bochy to bat Pablo Sandoval 8th. Although there are others who disagree and think the Panda should bat 9th.

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Anyone who needs a reason to root for the San Antonio Spurs, I give you coach Gregg Popovich. He’s been having WNBA star Becky Hammon, who wants to coach someday, attend practices. And Popovich says about a female NBA coach someday – “I don’t see why not. There shouldn’t be any limitations. It’s about talent and the ability to do things. It’s not about what your sex is or your race is or anything else

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The Spurs were on a roll. Tonight looked like one of the most uneven matchups in San Antonio since the Alamo.

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Would ANYONE who hadn’t watched the regular season and just turned in for the #NBAplayoffs have guessed the #IndianaPacers were a #1 seed?

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Monica Lewinsky, in a Vanity Fair article: “I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton. Let me say it again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.” More like she regrets a – getting caught, and b- not having that fifteen minutes of fame turn into something lucrative?

 

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Just an open note to those in the GOP who want to use Monica Lewinsky’s book against Hillary. The American public knows Bill Clinton is a tomcat. We knew that when we elected him the first time. And we would have elected him a third time if possible. Yeah it makes for good punchlines but in the big picture nobody cares.So get over it. #puritans

 

From Marc Ragovin;  ” Willie Mays turned 83 on Tuesday. Of course he has now gone from “say hey” to “what did you say?””

 

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