Posted tagged ‘Jeter jokes’

Down to the wire

October 28, 2014

This just in.   ESPN experts predict winner of Wednesday’s SF Giants  KC Royals game will win the World Series.

SF Giants game 7 strategy?  Wear out KC Royals bats in game 6?

 

So ESPN wanted Derek Jeter to matter in the postseason. And who knows, the SF Giants, baseball’s most consistent unkillable cockroaches, may well win tomorrow. But home field advantage for this World Series was probably decided by Wainwright deciding to groove that farewell All-Star pitch….

Only fun San Francisco fans are having tonight with ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ so far is thinking how dismal the ratings must be for ‪#‎FOX‬ at this point in Game 6. .‪#‎SFGiants‬

Saddest story of this MLB postseason is of course Oscar Tavares. But his death apparently inspired two friends, Juan Perez and Yordano Ventura, to have the games of their lives. ‪#‎WorldSeries‬

Bus to hell time. TMZ is reporting that Jose Canseco blew his middle finger off his right hand while cleaning his handgun at home in Las Vegas. Well, not like he used it for fielding or anything.

Taking time out from the World Series, send good wishes to Gordie Howe. Mr. Hockey, who at 86 is apparently recovering from a “serious stroke.” He was a dominant player in his sport longer than almost anyone. Yes, including Derek Jeter.-

First NCAA playoff rankings out. 3 ‪#‎SEC‬ teams out of 4. Shocking to many. They expected 4 #SEC teams. ‪#‎Collegefootballplayoff‬

If NY & NJ really want to beat ‪#‎Ebola‬, forget quarantine. Have folks returning from Africa join  the #‎NYJets‬. None of them can catch anything.

Dunkin’ Donuts is introducing a croissant-donut. But the chain maintains it is NOT a “Cronut.” Why? Because their lawyers said so.

Sarah Palin “Those haters out there, they don’t understand that it invigorates me…. the more they’re pouring on the more I’m going to bug the crap out of them by being out there with a voice, with the message, hopefully running for office in the future, too.”  Palin “haters” and comedy writers alike heard the last part and are thinking, “Promise?”

At a Southern Baptist conference titled “The Gospel, Homosexuality and the Future of Marriage,” some speakers talked about being the voice of a moral minority because gay marriage is a “rejection of God’s law.” Wonder why some of these folks don’t also have conferences against heterosexual adultery and divorce?

 

The ‪#‎NBA‬ season started Tuesday night. The Philadelphia ‪#‎76ers‬ will be eliminated from playoff contention tomorrow.

Michael Jordan, majority owner of the Charlotte Hornets, says he is “dreaming” of a seventh NBA ring. Yep, “dreaming” is absolutely the correct word.

 

Dwight Howard said today “I didn’t leave L.A. because I was afraid of Kobe Bryant.” More like Dwight was afraid of not making the playoffs.

 

 

Meanwhile, Lakers rookie Julius Randle, the team’s #1 pick, broke his right tibia during an opening night loss. Meaning alas Randle will likely be as helpful to this year’s team as Steve Nash.

RG III might be ready to go back in as Washington’s quarterback for their next game as the team has a bye week coming up. And fans are now thinking, take a little more time to heal your ankle. A year or two to be safe.

Dolly Parton, on her support of gay rights: “But as far as the Christians, if people want to pass judgment, they’re already sinning. The sin of judging is just as bad as any other sin they might say somebody else is committing. I try to love everybody.” As Dolly has also said, “I know I’m not dumb, and I know I’m not blonde.”

Moving on.

September 29, 2014

Monday was the first day that MLB had to survive without Derek Jeter.  Tragic, really.

 

A’s vs. Royals today in the AL Wild Card game. “I’ll take two teams where most Americans can’t name a single player for $500, Alex.”

Not to say the ‪#‎Patriots‬ are getting old but rumor has it their video spy team has been using ‪#‎VHS‬ tape.

On Monday, National Coffee Day, restaurants were giving away coffee to customers. Now at 2am EST Tuesday ‪#‎NationalCoffeeDay‬ is trending on Facebook…. Presumably because of all those wide awake people who had several cups of free coffee.

After NC State almost upset Florida State, the Wolfpack coach caused the Seminoles of faking injures. Jimbo Fisher responded “Well, I accuse him of not knowing what he’s talking about. They’re not fake injuries. No one faked injuries, and we wouldn’t do that.” He might have added, “Really, everyone knows FSU only fakes grades and arrest reports.”

Detroit Lions TE Joseph Fauria says he sprained his ankle when he fell while chasing after a puppy he was toilet training. The puppy now has more tackles than most of the Oakland Raiders defense.

The ‪#‎Raiders‬ have fired ‪#‎DennisAllen‬. Shocking. So Oakland thinks they have found someone else to take over their train wreck?

Geno Smith yelled “F— you” at a heckler after the game at MetLife Stadium. If this keeps up, even PETA members will be calling for Michael Vick. ‪#‎Jets‬

In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court rejected Ohio early voting starting Sept. 30 instead of Oct. 7. Rationale? Presumably because the Court couldn’t figure out a way, yet, to overturn the 15th and 19th amendments.

Joe Girardi said today he expects A-Rod to play 3rd next year, but that he doesn’t anticipate Rodriguez’s return to create a distraction. Hmm, is it time to start drug testing MLB managers?

O’Hare Airport still has thousands of cancelled flights, and the FAA says Chicago air traffic won’t be back to normal until at last mid October. Which should be right about the time they start closing the airports for snow.

A Southern California woman is suing the producers of “Glee” because she allegedly tripped over cables at Burbank Town Center while the series was filming there. Would be interesting to see security footage from the mall, over-under on the odds the woman was looking at her phone at the time

Bus to hell, NASCAR version:  Tony Stewart said Monday in a press conference that retiring “would take the life out of me.” Is that really the right phrase to use after killing someone with your car?

We’re number 5, or 4? Or whatever.

September 26, 2014

The SF Giants clinched a playoff spot due to another Brewers meltdown.  So did they have Champagne mixed with Gatorade in tonight’s game cooler?

(Sure looked like it when the bullpen imploded in the 6th and 7th)

 

Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Tim ‪#‎Lincecum‬ against the Padres. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

 

Anyone easily offended, skip to the next item.  Anyone tired of vanilla clubhouse speeches, cover your children’s ears and listen to the Reverend Hunter Pence.  http://deadspin.com/we-now-go-live-to-hunter-pences-dirty-dirty-mouth-1639410347?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 

Stay classy. Fox News’s panelist Eric Bolling asked yesterday if a female fighter pilot may be called ‘boobs on the ground. Well, a Fox News panel can certainly be called “boobs on the air.”

 

Anyone who has the attitude that Washington, D.C. is good for nothing, clearly isn’t a fan of an NFL team needing to get healthy.

 

Have to wonder with all this controversy over the Redskins name, would it be any different if Dan Snyder were less of an a**hole and the team were less of a train wreck?

Washington looked so overpowered tonight that out of habit House Republicans called for a Congessional Investigation against Obama. ‪#‎Redskins‬ ‪#‎Giants‬

So much for that ‘special relationship” between the U.S. and England. The Dolphins and Raiders are playing in London this Sunday. We couldn’t have sent over better teams, like say, Oregon and Florida State?

(My friend Jeff K. says  ” It’s a showcase game. Trying to see if England can take one of those teams off our hands and send them down to some international league.“)

A 6.2 earthquake hit near Anchorage, Alaska this morning. So will Sarah Palin blame this on the “lame-stream” media or Obama?

Alex Kaseberg says the earthquake was so strong it shook Sarah into a bookstore.

Mitt and Ann Romney are dropping hints that Mitt might run again in 2016. Perfect. Because Romney is like that ex who looks good from a nostalgic distance, until you start spending time with him/her again and get reminded why you dropped them.

Attorney General Eric Holder has resigned and says he will step down as soon as a successor can be confirmed by the Senate. This Senate?! Means Holder will probably be around through the end of President Obama’s term.

 

-The Orioles had clinched. So did Evan Meek groove a pitch to ‪#‎DerekJeter‬ ? ‪#‎Yankees‬

#‎ESPN‬ & ‪#‎RogerGoodell‬ seem hell bent on making Congress look credible by comparison.

At the University of Texas, new coach Charlie Strong has drug testing of football players on pace to double. This was reported by the Austin American-Statesman and presumably every SEC football recruiter.

 

Falling Apples.

September 24, 2014

Apple released and pulled iOS 8.0.1 Wednesday. Apparently because the update caused dropped calls and disabled some new iPhone 6’s. The early bird may not get the worm. But they are more likely to get the bugs.

Apparently some of the new iPhones warp. Of course, what’s really warped might be waiting hours and hours in line for a phone that will be easily available in a few months and obsolete by next year.

When deputies pulled over a woman for driving with only one headlight late Monday night they heard crying from the trunk. Turns out she had put her 5-month-old baby into the car trunk, to avoid getting a ticket for not driving with a car seat. You guessed, it – Florida.

A grand jury decided not to file criminal charges against Tony Stewart for hitting and killing Kevin Ward Jr.. The D.A. also said that tests revealed that Ward was under the influence of marijuana “at a high enough level to impair judgment.” Of course the drug that really impairs NASCAR drivers’ judgment is testosterone.

#‎Yankees‬ are selling ‪#‎DerekJeter‬ game-used socks for $400. Shudder to think what they are asking for his jockstraps.

Spirit Airlines has announced “to make sure we have room for everyone’s bags” they are going to charge $2 more for checked bags for all flights between flights between Dec 18 and Jan 5. The probable reaction from other airlines? “Shocking. We should charge at least $10 more.

 

Bill Simmons was suspended 3 weeks for his profane rant about Roger Goodell where he called the commissioner a liar. 3 weeks. Guess he should have just taken a swing at Goodell in an elevator.

The University of Michigan had planned to have the game ball delivered by drone last Saturday in Ann Arbor before the Wolverines’ game with Utah.. The school said they dropped the plan after consulting with the FAA, but rumor has it they didn’t want the drone to have a better completion rate than their QBs.

The New York Yankees have been officially eliminated from the 2014 playoffs. So tonight we can expect an ESPN special on how Derek Jeter is dealing with this tragic event?

So will ‪#‎Yankees‬, out of the playoffs, take some comfort in ‪#‎Dodgers‬, with the new highest MLB payroll, taking their place in postseason?

Some rumors that the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are boycotting a beat reporter for writing that two teammates had a “heated” argument in the clubhouse. Really? It’s not as if he wrote they had an actual physical fight. Besides, with the Giants this week no one would believe they could hit anything.

Rep. Vance McAllister, the congressman who was caught on tape making out with a staffer, has his wife featured in his latest commercial, In the ad, Kelly McAllister says “A man’s character is based on how many times he gets up and stands again.” Considering the kissing tape, is “gets up”” the right phrase?

A Virgin America flight from Boston to Los Angeles was diverted to Nebraska because, as the police report says, a man was “masturbating in flight and later tried to open an exit door.” This would never happen on United. The seats are too close together for anyone to masturbate.

NFL Opening Weak.

September 8, 2014

Nice win for the #49ers over the #Cowboys. Looks like SF will be ready next week to start facing NFL competition.

Although I have to say the 49ers game is looking good for Michael Sam.    Looks like the #Cowboys defense could use help asap.

 

And  have to wonder, how until #Cowboys fans will be rooting for Michael Sam to sack and injure Tony Romo in practice.

Meanwhile, during the day on NFL opening Sunday, ESPN aired a Canadian Football League game. Guess they wanted to show viewers a higher quality game than the Raiders-Jets.

Sunday was Derek Jeter Day at Yankee Stadium, with nearly an hour of pregame festivities honoring Jeter’s 20 year career. And then the 2014 Yankees went out and lost 2-0 to the Royals. #fitting

 

Mitt Romney said again that he would have done a better job than President  Obama. Being a Mormon Mitt doesn’t drink wine. But he sure is an expert on sour grapes.

Just a few days after Cleveland coach Mike Pettine said of QB Brian Hoyer “we have his back…. it’s not going to be a quick hook.”, he told ESPN the Browns have prepared Johnny Manziel to play in the season opener against the Steelers, but it would be a “feel thing.” Right, so they have Hoyer’s back, except it might have a knife in it.

ESPN Sunday Night Baseball announcers said last night that the #SFGiants had a couple “mediocre” months. “Mediocre? In June and July they well and truly s*cked.

 

My friend Michael D. has the winning comment on yesterday’s Stanford-USC football game” “It’s just a crying shame the game did not end in a tie so Stanford could have become the first NCAA school to punt in overtime.”

 

 

The saddest thing about Joan Rivers’ funeral:. We didn’t get to hear her say a very funny but completely un-PC and inappropriate comment about the deceased.

 

 

 

 

 

 

From T.C   “According to ESPN, the highest price for a family of four to attend an NFL game is the new Santa Clara stadium of the SF 49ers at $641. The cheapest NFL tickets can be found at Buffalo, where the team might pay you $641 to tell your friends that you were at the game.” . . .

Rocky Mountain Leftover High?

July 17, 2014

CBS News reports that tourists are regularly leaving their leftover marijuana purchases inside rental cars at Denver International Airport, because they don’t want to be arrested when they head home. In related news, Hertz and Avis just reported a 1,000% increase in Colorado job applications..

 

Chris Christie says that on a “case by case” basis, his state may consider housing some of the detained immigrant children. Makes sense, have them spend some time in New Jersey and they may go racing back home.

So the MH17 black box has been sent to Moscow for Investigation. Great. Now we will get the real story because as Edward Snowden tells us, Russia is a great and open country and a champion of human rights….’

We often ridicule U.S. government agencies over their rules and regulations. But it appears that they got this one right: In April, on the “Special Rules” section of its site, the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration put out an order prohibiting American pilots, airlines, charter carriers, and everyone else over whom the FAA has direct jurisdiction, from flying over southern parts of Ukraine.

John McCain is already talking about “profound repercussions” against whoever shot down MH17. Surely we should be able to invade somebody….

The finger pointing has begun between Russia and the Ukraine over MH17. It may take longer to figure out who’s really to blame than it does to find MH370.

(The GOP already no doubt  – has it figured out, it’s Obama’s fault.)

Microsoft has announced they are cutting 18,000 jobs. Of course, the tech giant doesn’t “fire” people, they just tell them they are performing an illegal operation and will be shut down.

 

Cheerful story on a bad news day. My friend Linda M. Wilson reminds me that Disneyland opened 59 years ago  on July 17.. Although there’s a whole generation of Americans growing up with no concept of the phrase “E ticket ride.”

 

Okay, how slow a day was Thursday  in the sports world? ESPN has the headline that the 2015 NFL draft location has been narrowed down to Los Angeles and Chicago.

You can’t make this “stuff” up. MLB and FOX’s excuse for not paying tribute to Tony Gwynn during the All Star Game- is that the “baseball family” had lost a “number of people” this year and they “did not want to slight anyone by singling out one individual.” Well, and that and it would have interrupted the flow of the Derek Jeter show.

To be fair, maybe MLB and FOX made such of a big deal out of Derek Jeter’s farewell All-Star game because they knew he’d already played his last postseason game.

But maybe all of the hype is getting to be overkill.  From Bill Littlejohn:  “A Yankee Stadium suite for Derek Jeter’s final home game is going for $244,000.  Why the discount?”

 

Where in the world…?

July 16, 2014

A TSA agent today at Orlando International Airport.  asked for a reporter’s passport when the man showed him a District of Columbia driver’s license. Not realizing D.C. is actually part of the U.S. Wonder if the TSA agent told the guy his team should have beaten Brazil….

Okay, both Bud Selig and players association executive director Tony Clark both just said they would like to reduce and ultimately eliminate smokeless tobacco usage in MLB. Great, so with that goal, wouldn’t it have made sense to use the big stage of the All-Star Game for that message as part of a tribute to Tony Gwynn? Or would that have taken time away from “Pride of the Yankees -2 -the Derek Jeter show?”

If someone turned into last night’s All-Star game who had never seen baseball before and didn’t know the players, they might have been forgiven for thinking “That poor Jeter guy, he must be dying?”

At Target Field presume someone is interviewing the last stadium worker asking how it felt to clean up after #Jeter‘s last #AllStarGame?

From Bill Littlejohn.  “I hear that Adam Wainwright’s new walk-up music just became ‘Groovin’ on a Sunday Afternoon'”

Alabama and USC will kick off the 2016 college football season with a game at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. It will be the first regular season meeting in almost 40 years between two of the NCAA’s highest paid teams.

With the new College Football Playoff system, the “Power Five” conferences will each receive about $50 million and the other FBS leagues will split $75 million. Just for this first year. Well, this should help the NCAA pay legal bills as they fight against paying players because it would ruin the game.

Oscar Pistorius, whose trial is in a recess until August, got into a bar fight last weekend, but his family issued a statement it was only because he’s in ’emotional pain,’ and feels lonely. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.

Another of those “Darwin – missed it by that much” stories. A West Seattle man decided to kill a spider with a can of spray paint and a lighter (huh?) He managed to set his house on fire, causing about $60,000 in damages. Although he, and possibly the spider, survived.

In South Carolina, the KKK is handing out bags of candy as part of a recruiting effort. The bags have a phone number and a message inside .””Save Our Land, Join the Klan.” Is it too late to let the South secede?

(Dan St. Paul suggests, “Presumably the bags have two holes cut out for your eyes?”)

Dwight Howard tweeted last weekend “FreePalestine.” Then deleted the message 15 min later “Previous tweet was a mistake, I have never commented on international politics and never will.” Did Howard run out of characters to end the message “again?”

 

 

Best team award at the #ESPYS to the Seattle Seahawks? Really . Even #ESPN doesn’t respect the #Spurs. #notenoughdrama?

 

 

Would love to be a fly on the wall when athletes’ wives ask “So honey, what did you think of that #Sidepieces song? #ESPYS #nogoodanswer.

Dick Cheney says that “Barack Obama is the worst President of my lifetime.” Now, President Obama hasn’t been perfect. But he’s not even the worst President of the last decade.

 

 

Majority ruled?. Senate Republicans today blocked a bill to restore free birth control for women whose health insurance comes from employers with religious objections. The losing vote? 56-43 in favor of the bill. (Three GOP Senators voted yes.. Two were women.)

Nothing can go wrong, wrong, wrong….

February 12, 2014

Not the Onion: Thousands of prospective freshmen got an erroneous email this week telling them they had been admitted, and the college had to quickly send an apology email telling them of the mistake. Yeah, technology can be a b*tch. Especially for a school like…. MIT.

Not saying the USA has had an overall lousy Wednesday in Sochi, but except for women’s halfpipe, NBC in their quest to show American medals had to be thinking about giving  updates from the Westminster dog show.

As the halfpipe becomes increasingly complicated and trendy sport, what’s next? Someone doing a trick on the board while texting at the same time?

 

In Kentucky at the National Corvette Museum, eight Corvettes fell into a sinkhole. “That’s kind of a shame”, thought millions of American women. “Are you kidding, it’s a TRAGEDY”, thought millions of American men.

 

Sixteen people were stuck for over three hours on the “Cheetah Hunt” roller coaster at Busch Gardens in Tampa after the coaster stopped functioning. If only they had been armed.

Former New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin has been convicted on 20 of 21 counts of conspiracy and bribery. Well, he did violate Louisiana’s 11th commandment -“Thou shalt not be stupid enough to get caught.”

Derek Jeter just announced 2014 will be his last year playing professional baseball. Does that mean after the season Jeter will ask for a trade to the Mets?

In Jay Leno’s 22 years on the Tonight Show, he taped 4610 shows. More than Johnny Carson who taped 4531 shows in 22 years. So we weren’t imagining it when we thought Johnny took a lot of vacations.

 

 

What East Coast bias? All it took was a massive snowstorm postponing the Duke-NC men’s basketball game for ESPN to show Stanford-Washington on TV.

 

Madame Tussaud’s has removed their New York Justin Bieber figure because too many young fans were touching and groping the statue. The museum said “Hopefully we can welcome a new ‘grown-up’ Justin back to the attraction in the near future.” Uh, forget the museum, how about welcoming a new “grown up” Justin to the real world.

Obamacare has beaten their monthly health insurance enrollment target for the first time, with more than 1.14 million people signed up in January. Time for the GOP to focus on gay marriage and marijuana laws again.

It’s raining stats.

October 4, 2011

I think I can speak for many Americans when I say, “Okay, so I’d rather see “my” team win a playoff game. But it’s not a bad consolation prize to watch the Yankees lose.”

My friend Walter pointed out today that of all the meaningless statistics in baseball, the most egregious involve pinstripes, like Sportscenter talking about the “most Ks postseason against the Yankees.”

But get this one from ESPN.com: “Delmon Young’s solo homer in Monday’s game was the sixth go-ahead, game-winning shot in the seventh inning or later vs. the Yankees during the wild-card era. The last was David Ortiz’s walk-off homer in 2004 that started the Red Sox’s historic comeback in the ALCS.”

On the postgame show, Joe Girardi politely complained about the small strike zone for Sabathia. When asked, “did you think the zone was equal for both sides?” he responded “I don’t necessarily look at Verlander’s pitches, I look at our guy’s.” Yeah, hard to understand how the Yankees get the reputation for thinking the world resolves around them.

The Yankees got two on in the ninth, but Derek Jeter struck out to end the game. His sixth strikeout of the ALDS. Guess this postseason you can’t spell “Kaptain” without a “K.”

Potential joke after game four. What’s the difference between the Red Sox and the Yankees?

About a week.

Hank Williams Jr’s “Are you ready for some football,” was dropped from the opening of MNF after the country singer compared President Obama to Hitler. Williams also added “They’re the enemy… Obama! And Biden! Are you kidding? The Three Stooges.” Sounds like his Hank’s math skills are on a part with the rest of his intelligence.

Tacky joke about a tackier incident. What was Hank Williams Jr. thinking when he said John Boehner’s outing with the President was like golfing with Hitler? As if Hitler would have ever gone golfing with an orange person.

Martha Stewart’s daughter Alexis, 46, has written a tell-all book, “Whateverland: Learning to Live Here,” in which she complains about her mother and says amongst other things that she was very rigid and everything had to be done perfectly. Martha Stewart a control freak? “I’m shocked”, said absolutely nobody.


Is it just me, or is anyone else just not that impressed with people making big money and going on book tours, when they’ve accomplished no more in their lives than being able to complain about their famous parents?

The latest MLB rumor has GM Theo Epstein possibly leaving the Red Sox for the Cubs. Well, at least it would take care of that problem of overly high expectations.

Speaking of expectations, okay, so the Buccaneers beat the Colts on MNF. These things happen. But who in the off-season would have expected the headline “Indianapolis nearly upsets Tampa Bay?”

Hawaii has become the first state to call surfing an official high school sport. In California and Florida they are scoffing – it’s not a sport until you can get paid in college for playing it.

Three Buckeyes football players have been suspended for OSU’s game against Nebraska for allegedly being paid too much money for too little work in their summer jobs. Have to wonder, are the players all planning to run for Congress?


Although the way OSU is playing, maybe they were also suspended for being overpaid for their on-field performance.

Heaven knows the Democratic party has some serious crazies. But at the moment none of them are running for President. This from a recent Michele Bachmann appearance on an Iowa radio show: A caller told her he would vote for serial killer Charles Manson over President Obama. “Hey, thank you for saying that,” she replied.

Headline today: “Christie Would ‘Cannonball’ Republican Field.” Cannonball? As a child who grew up in diving in hotel/motel pools before this was outlawed, I would say a Chris Christie “Cannonball” would be more like a tsunami.

Only 20 more shopping days…

July 14, 2011

Until the trade deadline.   Which made Tuesday night’s MLB All-Star game, for the Yankees, the equivalent of window shopping.

Forget actually playing, three Yankees, A-Rod, Rivera, and Jeter didn’t even bother to show up with their All-Star team. Maybe they figured the home field advantage wouldn’t matter in the World Series, since New York won’t be there either.-

Bud Selig defended Derek Jeter’s not even to attend the All Star Game tonight for a quick wave to the crowd, saying “There isn’t a player I’m more proud of in the last 15 years …I know why he is not here. I respect that and I must tell you that I think I would have made the same decision.” Then Selig called Yankee management and asked “Did I say that right?”

Yet another example of why, no matter what team you root for, you have to like Pablo Sandoval. When told he was designated as the team’s utility player, and that he might have to catch in a pinch, the Giants’ third baseman responded “I’ll pitch too.”

Sherwood Schwartz, the creator and theme song writer for both the “The Brady Bunch” and “Gilligan’s Island.” has died at the age of 94. Funeral arrangements are pending, but before the service of course, attendees will go on a “three hour tour.”

ESPN is suing Ohio State University, for alleged violations of state public records law regarding denied requests for items related to the recent NCAA football investigation. University spokesman Jim Lynch says the university believes it has followed applicable law. And at this point, why should anyone doubt OSU’s credibility

So now it appears that the scumbags at Murdoch’s papers in Britain were not only hacking murder victims and soldiers, but also the Prime Minister, the Queen, and who knows who else. When these guys get out of jail maybe the CIA or MI-5 should hire them, sounds like they could have traced down Bin Laden years ago.

The IRS is going after the 23 year old cell-phone salesman who caught Derek Jeter’s 3000th hit, for $15,000 based on the value of what the Yankees gave him. Meanwhile, GM pays no taxes for 10 years. Is this a great country or what?

TC from Canada has an interesting take on this. “Does he not get a deduction for the ball that he donated to Jeter?  Canadian tax law would allow you a trade off.  Once the ball clears the fence, it becomes public domain) Lopez didn’t get the tickets for the remainder of the season for “Nothing”. He gave Jeter the ball which could be worth close to a million$. It’s not a gift!!!!!! i’m not a tax expert for the US of A, but i’m guessing if Lopez has to pay, then so would Jeter. make sense?”)

In his statement to Republicans in Congress, President Obama said “I do not see a path to a deal if the basic proposition is ‘it’s my way or the highway.'”   The GOP immediately responded, “Hey, wait a minute, we never said the highway was on the table.”

Okay, here’s an idea for the Republicans who don’t want to tax “job creators.” How about a tax break for corporations ONLY for each living wage job they create right here in the USA.

The long national nightmare is over.

July 10, 2011

Derek Jeter finally got his 3000th hit. 

ESPN will just have to come up with a new headline story every night.

(Although Alex Rodriguez’s knee tear does give them a potential “A-Rod injury update” option.)

Jeter has been around a few years. Well, more than a few. In fact, when he made his major league debut in 1995,  David Price, the Rays pitcher who gave up his 3,000th, (and made his own major league debut in 2008) was nine years old.

Jamie Moyer on the other hand , in 1995 was probably already gray.

Many in the media are calling the guy who caught the home run ball that was Jeter’s 3000th hit an idiot for giving it back. Since he only got memorabilia and tickets in return. They say he could have made $500,000. But the tickets the Yankees gave them are in the Championship Suites section for the rest of the year. Their face value might be over $500,000.

If Jeter got his 3000th hit on the same day of the Casey Anthony verdict, I think a lot of the East Coast media’s heads would have exploded.

Congratulations to South Sudan, the world’s newest nation, on their Independence Day. Wonder how long it will take someone to offer them a bribe to vote on the next Olympics or FIFA World Cup?

During his U.S visit with his bride Kate/Catherine, Prince William took part in a charity polo match in Los Angeles Saturday. When asked about it, Sarah Palin remarked that it was amazing how they must have taught the horses how to swim.

The Dodgers fired Steve Garvey, because while he was working for them he was also involved with another group trying to buy the team. Let’s see, Los Angeles was shocked by duplicity from a man who got two women pregnant in the same year he married a third woman.

Meanwhile, Saturday the Dodgers beat the Padres 1-0 with a walk-off hit in the bottom of the ninth, after Los Angeles had been no-hit through eight. Three hits in the game combined for both teams. Okay, baseball fans. Could you have imagined such a display of pitching/offensive fuility, and the SF Giants weren’t involved?

From T.C. ,  On 7’6″ Yao Ming’s retirement.  “In Chinese, Yao Ming translates to – 1st to acknowledge rain.”

The Prince and the Captain.

July 9, 2011

 

 

Many Los Angeles television viewers are annoyed at all the media coverage of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s visit; they don’t see the point in celebrating people who are only famous because of an accident of birth. Especially when the coverage pre-empts “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”

 

The NCAA has officially accepted West Virginia’s self-imposed sanctions over football recruiting issues. Two years probation, whatever tha means, and NO post-season bowl ban. Good to know that despite the NFL lockout we still have professional football in this country.

These days President Obama is being criticized by both the right and the left on his negotiations with Congress. About the only thing he could do to please both sides is figure out a way to keep Casey Anthony in jail longer.

Michele Bachmann has now signed a 14-point pledge from the conservative Iowa Christian group “Family Leader.” The ninth pledge includes banning “all forms of pornography.” Well, this should get her the votes of about 10 men.

The “Family Leader” pledge also includes a reference to America’s children as “the innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy.”  Uh, does this mean for example Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Edward’s love children don’t count?

Houston Rockets center Yao Ming is retiring after nine NBA season. And in another illustration of why the 7’6″ center has been so beloved by fans, he didn’t announce the decision on an ESPN special.

(Alex Schubert said,  “Yao would have played longer if he hadn’t hit his head on the rim so many times.)

Ohio State University just announced it is “vacating” all 10 wins from 2010 season and placing itself on two years’ probation.  Although the probation will not include any postseason bowl bans.

Why don’t we just place an asterisk on all these BCS trophies and be done with it?

R.I.P. Betty Ford. For years she was known as Gerald’s Ford’s wife. But history may well footnote him as her husband.

 

Derek Jeter is two hits shy of 3000. Plans to celebrate at Yankee Stadium allegedly include trumpets blaring, with a modest little chorus of angels floating in from on high.

Some think the ball that becomes Derek Jeter’s 3,000th hit could be worth as much as $250,000 to the whoever ends up with it.  Well, considering that Jeter is hitting .257 this year with TWO home runs, it’s not likely that ball will end up with a fan in the stands.

Michele Bachmann is starting to run her first television ad in Iowa, titled “Waterloo.” “Waterloo?” Really? The ad has guitar music playing in the backgroud. Guess it’s a good thing Bachmann couldn’t afford the rights to the ABBA Song. (I feel like I win when I lose, etc…)