Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category
July 10, 2016
Sophomore Georgia DE Jonathan Ledbetter was arrested for the 2nd time this year over alcohol, this time for a DUI, in March it was for a fake ID and underage possession.
Shame Ledbetter couldn’t have declared for this year’s draft, he sure seems NFL ready.
Donald Trump’s son says his dad is looking for a VP who is “immensely capable, immensely competent, garners respect … ” And Republicans are going…hmm, can we get someone like that at the top of the ticket?
–
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott reportedly sustained “extensive second- and third-degree burns” on both legs below the knees and both feet.”” and may miss the GOP convention. Sounds painful, bul less so than showing up and pretending to support Trump.
–
In Vacaville, California, an alleged drunk driver crashed into a house, then the homeowner went after the driver with a baseball bat. Both men were arrested. #ifonlytheywerearmed.
–
Rudy Giuliani said today that black children have “a 99% chance” of killing each other — so they shouldn’t worry so much about police brutality. Dear gawd. So can he go back to just talking about 9-11?
–
Clayton Kershaw threw a light bullpen session today, but the Dodgers say he is not ready to return yet. San Francisco fans wish Kershaw the best, maybe he can pace himself, take care of his back, come back after the next series with the Giants?
–
Meanwhile beginning to think @bcraw35 will be added to NL #AllStar team as soon as every other infielder is injured. #SFGiants
–
Retired general Michael Flynn, who’s been listed as a possible running mate for Donald Trump, today said about abortion – women “are the ones that have to make the decision” because they are the ones who have to “decide to bring up that child or not.”
Well, that’s one way to recuse yourself from consideration.
A group of South Carolina secessionists flew the Confederate flag for several hours at the statehouse today, saying the flag’s take down was the “greatest treason” in the state’s history. Uh…. right. #sarcasm
–
From TC “Many top rated basketball players and golfers have decided not to participate in this year’s Olympics due to the Zika virus threat. “You know there are drugs available for that” said the Russian track and field team.
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: Be the first to comment
July 10, 2016
Caitlyn Jenner is going to Cleveland for the convention: “I want to support courageous Republicans who advocate for LGBT freedom.” Well, this should be a quick trip.
Yeah, all #SFGiants fans figured going into the All-Star game they’d be getting big game winning hits from Green, Williamson and Tejada
–
Javier Lopez fell out of the dugout today on his way to warm up. The SF Giants lefty was unhurt and retired the only batter he faced. Had it been Affeldt last year, Jeremy would have landed on the DL for three weeks.
–
Golf has been absent from the Olympics for 112 years. Today, Dustin Johnson became the latest top golfer say he won’t play due to Zika worries. So would it hurt that much to make the absence 116 years? #Tokyo2020
–
#NottheOnion Tubby Reddy, CEO of the South African Sports Confederation and Olympic Committee says of the 2020 Tokyo Games, if Oscar Pistorus “is out on parole, as it seems he will be before then, and qualifies for selection, then I don’t see how there can be a problem.”
An actual killer returning to sports? Isn’t that the NFL’s province?
–
The NRA finally came out with a statement about the Dallas killings, expressing “deep anguish” and offering “deepest condolences” etc, but saying nothing about guns
What, no railing about gun-free zones? Or the usual #ifonlytheywerearmed? Oh, wait….never mind.
Okay, anyone else feel #UFC200 is the sports equivalent of #GameofThrones – one of those “important” things I care and know nothing about.
–
In Aragon, a bullfighter has been gored to death during a tournament, which is supposedly the first fatality for the sport since 1987. Well, except for the bulls.
–
6 more women are accusing #RogerAiles of sexual harassment. So it’s going to be another of those He said, she she she she said situations.
–
So are they going to retitle the show #FoxandFriendswithBenefits?
–
Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren is defending Roger Ailes, saying she’s even been alone with him and “nothing happened.” So maybe Greta’s just not his type?
–
Mike Huckabee, criticizing President Obama “I think this is a time when real leaders bring people together, he doesn’t split them apart. He doesn’t need to inject the divisive arguments like gun control at a time of great grief for the nation. And he ought to do for us what Ronald Reagan did after the Challenger disaster.”
Because a sniper ambushing police is the same kind of tragedy as the shuttle blowing up. And I guess Huckabee forgot Reagan was for banning assault weapons. #SMH
–
s there really a reason to keep showing the picture of the Dallas police killer? #enoughalready #justshowpicturesofthemenhekilled.
–
Now much is being made of how the Dallas police killer sexually harassed at least one woman while he was in the military. Hmm. sexual harassment allegations as way to make it harder for men from getting guns….I could handle that. Not sure the NRA would agree.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: bullfighting jokes, Fox jokes, Janice Hough, NRA jokes, Olympics jokes, Pistorius jokes, roger ailes jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
July 8, 2016
When we are still literally cleaning up the site of the last US mass shooting, in Orlando, and now there is another horrible one in Dallas, think it’s pretty safe to say this country has a gun problem.
–
Sadly, anyone but me in the “old enough/young enough” demographic to have (barely) remembered another terrible shooting day in Dallas? And to have figured that would have been the only actual killing day the city was known for?
—
On a lighter note, who knew Canada had professional tennis players? #MilosRaonic #RogerFederer #Wimbledon
A Delta Air Lines flight carrying 130 passengers landed at the wrong airport in South Dakota last night. Shocking. There is more than one airport in South Dakota?
–
Mets manager Terry Collins has replaced Madison Bumgarner, who is starting Sunday with Bartolo Colon on the All-Star team.
So did Collins pick Colon for his arm or his bat?
–
Brandon Crawford may not be an All-Star. But he just showed Dbacks why you don’t throw at Buster Posey. Twice. #SFGiants #byebyebaby
(for non-baseball fans, Crawford hit a home run, after the “incident.”)
–
The A’s Coco Crisp was suspended one game for tossing his bat in the direction of the home plate umpire last night, and he’s not appealing: “You never want to make contact with the umpire..It came too close. I deserved it.” Responsibility, what a concept.
–
A fan climbing on the bleachers at Wrigley Field during a rain delay was taken to the hospital last night when he fell and landed on the warning track. His condition and name are unknown. But I might hazard a guess as to whether alcohol was involved. #Darwin
–
Taj Hotels are advertising free wifi on up to four devices. Scary thing is that there are travelers who probably think that isn’t enough.
follow up joke from my funny friend Alex Kaseberg. “Taj Hotels are advertising free wifi on up to four devices. Scary thing is that there are travelers who probably think that isn’t enough.”
So whatever “side” you’re on, not exactly fair to claim that killers of other races, political persuasion or religion are inflamed by angry rhetoric, but killers of your own demographic are mentally ill.
–
Corey Stewart, Donald Trump’s Virginia campaign chairman, and a GOP gubernatorial candidate “Liberal politicians who label police as racists — specifically Hillary Clinton and Virginia Lt. Governor Ralph Northam — are to blame for essentially encouraging the murder of these police officers tonight.”
But of course Trump’s rhetoric doesn’t encourage anyone to do bad things. #sarcasm
Apparently the single winning ticket for the $450 million Mega Millions jackpot tonight was sold in Indiana. No word on the lucky guy or gal, who presumably will be using the winnings to move out of Indiana.
–
Newt Gingrich tonight to CNN: “It took me a long time, and a number of people talking to me through the years to get a sense of this, if you are a normal white American, the truth is you don’t understand being black in America.”
So is this Newt’s way of taking himself out of Trump’s potential VP consideration?
–
Donald Trump said today our nation has become too divided.” Waiting for tomorrow’s speech when he returns to attacking the media, liberals, immigrants, Muslims, etc. and insulting anyone else who doesn’t agree with him.
–
As scary as Donald Trump is, some of the comments on his FB page are much worse: Many blame ALL of the killings on President Obama., some even saying Dallas was orchestrated by the CIA or the administration or liberals to stir up unrest and/or impose martial law.
John McCain had a great moment in his campaign where he corrected a woman who went over the edge on Obama. Guessing we can wait a long while before the Donald might do that with some of his followers.
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 4 Comments
July 7, 2016
Most people are good, most police are good. Guns make it too easy for the assholes.
(picture taken earlier tonight during the protest.)
It really is awful news out of #Dallas. Not even sure what questions to ask. But more and bigger guns are NOT the answer.
So every time we see a terrorist attack anywhere around the world many want to make America a lot less of a free country. And yet, when we have shootings, even mass shootings, here at home, those same people wouldn’t dream of making it even a little harder to get guns.
–
Not that the jokes are more important, but laughter does beat crying….So back to the attempts at humor:
#KevinDurant on meeting #Warriors “It was organic. It was authentic.” Is #KD talking basketball or becoming a spokesman for #WholeFoods?
–
Lots of emails from the SF Giants about voting often for Brandon Belt for the All-Star Team, and no doubt other teams are doing the same for their players. So here we have a game that “counts” for home field advantage during the World Series, and the teams are partly filled by good old-fashioned ballot box stuffing. God Bless America.
–
Johnny Cueto leads #MLB in complete games. #Cueto has had an up-close view of the #SFGiants bullpen this season. #coincidence?
–
Matt Harvey, 4-10 with a 4.86 ERA, is considering season-ending surgery. Of course, the way he’s been pitching, his season as a Mets starter could be ending soon anyway.
–
Cardinals placed Matt Carpenter on 15-day disabled list with a right oblique strain. Starting to feel old, I remember before players had obliques.
–
Amazing, the same House that couldn’t find time for votes on gun control can find time for hearings on Hillary Clinton’s emails. I sure hope this doesn’t distract them from their important business of trying to repeal Obamacare again.
–
Bernie Sanders is reportedly going to endorse Hillary Clinton next Tuesday. Waiting for some of his supporters to claim the endorsement was rigged.
–
Tom Brady has just declined Donald Trump’s invitation to speak at the GOP convention. Did someone inform the Patriots QB that Democrats and moderates buy his jerseys too?
–
Bill O’Reilly showed old pictures yesterday of Barack Obama at a Muslim wedding, as some sort of proof of the President’s real identity. So when will O’Reilly start in with these GOP candidates who insist, despite their voting records, that they are not homophobic because they have attended a gay wedding?
–
Hillary Clinton is a long way from perfect. But just guessing, if she had used a government server for her email Republicans would now be after her claiming she had illegally sent personal or campaign emails with the account, or something. Because when it comes to the GOP and Hillary, as Roseanne Rosannadanna said “It’s always something.”
Hardest thing about writing #DonaldTrump posts, having to double check all his statements to make sure they’re #NottheOnion
–
Ted Cruz announced he has accepted Donald Trump’s invitation to speak at the GOP convention. Guess the Donald figured he didn’t have time to start a reality show to find speakers?
–
Britain’s Conservative Party chose Theresa May and Andrea Leadsom as the final two candidates in the race to succeed David Cameron, meaning the next Prime Minister WILL be a woman.
So shall we start a pool in how long it takes Trump to insult one or both of them?
#Trump leaning towards #Gingrich as his V.P. choice? So six wives worked for Henry VIII, the Donald thinks it will work for his ticket?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: All-Star jokes, cueto jokes, email jokes, Janice Hough, sanders jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 6, 2016
Oklahoma City Mayor Mick Cornett, on Durant’s departure “We’re stunned…. We’ve been spurned by someone we cared deeply about.” “Tell us about it,” said every basketball fan in Seattle.
–
What’s more surprising at this point? That the SF Giants at 54-33 have the best record in MLB? Or that they have done it while blowing 17 saves.
–
Charles Barkley is now saying that Kevin Durant is jumping on the Golden State “gravy train” to win a ring. Hmm, so did the Warriors turn down Sir Charles’ offer to ride their bench to get himself a title?
–
This upcoming Summer Olympics has an official bug spray company. (OFF) Which kind of tells you all you need to know about Rio now.
–
Ashley Madison has now admitted that some women on its site were actually virtual computer programs. Who’d a thunk it – a website designed for cheaters, was operated by cheaters.
–
Bernie Sanders in a meeting with House Democrats today allegedly said “the goal is not to win elections.” Even Dennis Kucinich is thinking this guy may not quite be in touch with reality.
–
Ben Carson tweeted “Social media provides a great platform for discourse, but we must be careful with the messages we send out.” Yep, someone’s definitely not on Trump’s VP list….
–
Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker took himself off Trump’s VP short list today. This is like “the Bachelor-Bachelorette”, but with many of the contestants just saying no to the rose.
–
Former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson is suing Roger Ailes for sexual harassment. So how long until they make fun of her on Fox and Friends
–
In the UK they have spent 7 years and millions of pounds on the “Chilcot” report, probing the reasons that Britain joined the US in the Iraq war. The 2.6 million word report found that Tony Blair used “exaggerated” evidence to convince the British public that Saddam Hussein had WMDs, evidence that was “presented with a certainty that was not justified.”
But of course none of this is an important as Hillary’s emails.
Hour long delay for thousands of passengers on trains in and out of San Francisco due to moron in car trying to beat train across tracks. He lost. But only damaged car. Alas, no Darwin.
–
Bob Corker, who still supports Trump but withdrew from V.P consideration “His best running mate, by the way, would be Ivanka.”
So is it required for a Trump supporter to be creepy?
–
You really cannot make this “stuff” up. Paul Ryan says Hillary Clinton was “reckless” in handling classified materials, so she should be denied access to classified materials during the general election.
Right, as opposed to the completely un-reckless GOP nominee?
–
From Bill Littlejohn “With the signing of Kevin Durant, the Warriors have more expectations than anything outside of a fertility clinic..”
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: durant jokes, email jokes, Fox jokes, Janice Hough, okc jokes, sanders jokes, Seattle jokes, Trump jokes, wmd jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 4, 2016
Joey Chestnut won the Nathan’s contest with a record of 70 hot dogs today. Who says we need to “Make America Great” again? We still rule in our national sport – eating.
–
Kevin Durant’s statement says he is “moving out of my comfort zone to a new city and community which offers the greatest potential for my contribution and personal growth.” Because, gosh, without me the franchise hasn’t won a title in 13 months.
–
If #Warriors fans are the happiest in the NBA, old Seattle Sonics fans are close behind. #Durant
–
Convenient for Kevin Durant that he announced his decision to leave the Thunder on July 4. Instead of just burning his jerseys folks in Oklahoma City can just tie them to fireworks and blow them up.
–
Stephen A. Smith was so upset about #KevinDurant signing with the #Warriors you almost wonder if he had $$$ on the #Cavs to repeat?
–
So is the over-under for projected #Warriors wins in 2016-7 now somewhere around 77? #Durant
–
Ryan Braun was called out for batting out of order today after Milwaukee manager Craig Counsell submitted an incorrect lineup card. And things for the Brewers this year have otherwise gone so well. #sarcasm #howhardisittocounttonine?
Pau Gasol, 36, is signing with #SanAntonio Part of the #Spurs youth movement?
Worst thing about 2 1/2 hour rain delay in Cleveland & game starting at 930pm? It was postgame #FourthofJuly fireworks.
–
Seems just a little weird to get Happy #FourthofJuly message from hotel in London. Maybe watching our election they’re glad to be rid of us.
–
Nigel Farage, who as head of UKIP fought hard for Brexit, and who has been accused of racism and xenophobia, especially with anti-EU ads, announced today he would step down: “I’ve done my bit” to get Britain out of the European Union.
Another who doesn’t want to follow the rule – “You break it, you buy it.”
–
CNN headline “Trump and Clinton to announce VP picks soon.”. Well, considering both conventions are in a few weeks, that seems like a good bet.
–
Donald Trump tweeted: “The only people who are not interested in being the V.P. pick are the people who have not been asked!” Wouldn’t it have been more accurate to say “I’ve only asked the only people who were interested?” (Both of them?)
–
Trump said yesterday that speaking slots for the upcoming GOP convention in Cleveland are “totally filled,” and there’s a “long” waiting list of more speakers. Hmm, did the Donald go through a list of Bachelor/Bachelorette/Apprentice and other reality TV show applicants?
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 1 Comment
July 3, 2016
This 4th of July weekend many Americans will worry about terrorists blowing us up, and then risk blowing themselves up with fireworks.
–
On the other hand, in the hands of professionals….
–
#KevinDurant says that he will make a free-agent decision by Monday. Then what will ESPN and the rest of sports media talk about?
–
Am beginning to wonder if all the #SFGiants bullpen has “a little curl, right in the middle of their foreheads…..”
Has a team ever both won their division and had the most blown saves in MLB the same year? Asking for a friend. #SFGiants
–
In 1993 #SFGiants didn’t make playoffs in part because #Rockies lost EVERY game they played against the Atlanta #Braves. This weekend Colorado was looking just as “good” against #Dodgers
The Arizona Dbacks put Zack Greinke on the 15-day DL with an oblique strain. That Johnny Cueto SF Giants consolation prize is looking better and better.
–
Tom Hiddleston (who?) and Taylor Swift put on plenty of PDA’s for the cameras this weekend. Too to start two pools? First, when they will break up, and two, when she will write a song about it.
–
Face the Nation focused part of their show on Thomas Jefferson and FDR. Just imagining given their complicated personal lives how either president would have done in a social media age.
–
Mitt Romney says he will not vote for either Presidential nominee. And this is a man who wanted us to elect him to make the tough choices?
–
Some in the GOP saying that the fact the FBI spent over 3 hours with Hillary is a sign there must be something to the email investigation. And of course had it been a five minute interview they would have said it was a sign that there must have a fix in on the investigation.
–
For all the protestations of innocence from the Trump campaign over the six-sided star on the Hillary attack ad, have to wonder, would the Donald excuse the Clinton campaign if it had used that same star with neo-Nazi overtones to attack him?
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 1 Comment
July 2, 2016
Anyone but me thinking all this courting and drama around NBA free agents, with very little of importance actually happening, is not that different from watching “The Bachelor/Bachelorette – without all the televised make-out sessions?
So many mediocre players are making so much money with #NBAFreeAgency Kobe Bryant may un-retire.
–
Kevin Durant was apparently “blown away” by the Clippers. “Blown away, huh?” To “a place where there isn’t any trouble?” #Somewhereovertherainbow #paynoattentiontothatmanbehindthe curtain?
–
At Wimbledon, American Sam Querrey stunned top-seeded Novak Djokovic. American sports fans are stunned too – there are still U.S. men playing professional tennis?
–
A new study indicates marijuana may e useful in the treatment of Alzheimers. Which could be great news, except for that little short-term memory issue – “Dude, where’s my walker?”
–
Sports experts always say that the #SFGiants can’t trade for big name players because they don’t have top prospects in their farm system. But the minor leaguers they keep pulling out of their hat are a major reason the team has won over 50 games.
–
Thieves near Milwaukee stole a semi-trailer full of cheese valued at $46,000. Well, clearly the cheese was not headed to Whole Foods, where $46,000 worth would have fit in an Austin Mini.
22 car wreck at the #CokeZero400: Good news, no injuries, better news, NASCAR makes the ESPN highlights show.
–
Donald Trump said that the RNC has “asked him to speak all three nights (of the convention). I turned it down.” He says “I don’t want people to think I’m grandstanding.” Nope, more like people thinking the RNC couldn’t get anyone else.
–
Not sure what #RNC will do for convention speakers. Even Clint’s chair says #Trump doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
–
On a serious note, RIP Elie Wiesel. There are a lot of books you get assigned to read in high school and college that are forgettable. “Night” is not one of them.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: free agency jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
July 1, 2016
For all my Canadian friends, Happy (now belated) Canada Day. For my American friends, might be important to remember July 1 matters up north, in case you were thinking of moving if Trump wins in November.
–
Bill Clinton met briefly but privately with Attorney General Loretta Lynch this week in Phoenix. And of course some allege that they might have talked about the email investigation.
So the former President was alone with a woman and the rumors aren’t about sex? How the mighty have fallen.
–
#Lakers signed #TimofeyMozgov to a $64 million contract. Even the #Dodgers think that’s overspending for mediocre talent.
–
OJ Mayo has been suspended from the NBA for 2 years for violating the league’s drug testing program. This is the same Mayo who played one year at USC, was ruled to have accepted improper benefits, got the school’s wins vacated and then entered the draft. Not that I am a Trojans fan but have to admire mean bitch Karma in delayed mode.
–
#Iceland has become so popular with their #EURO2016 run, if this keeps up some Americans will even learn to find it on a map.
–
One more thought for the day on Madison Bumgarner hitting. Now, he may not be the best hitter on the team by a longshot. But how many other pitchers do fans time their concession-bathroom-whatever breaks around making sure you don’t miss an at-bat? #SFGiants #PitcherswhoRake
–
And sure, all SF Giants fans knew the team would start off July with a win thanks to Grant Green, Jarrett Parker, and Conor Gillaspie.
–
Reports now indicate that Kevin Durant is “90% likely” to stay with the Thunder. So all of this media free-agent hype may be about as accurate as the supermarket tabloids regularly promising celebrity divorces.
–
At Machu Picchu, a man entered a restricted area, and asked someone to take his picture leaping in the air. He then leapt, fell of a cliff, and died. Not often you get a Darwin Award and an Incan sacrifice at the same time.
–
So has a team from #Cleveland lost since game 4 of the #NBAfinals? #Indians #Cavs
(my friend Richard Rothschild tells me, well, actually since before game 6.)
–
On Delta’s website today, fares from San Francisco to Detroit were apparently showing up for over $13,000 roundtrip, in coach. Well, that’s absurd. Who would ever think it would cost that much for a domestic airfare. Now by the time you add fees….maybe.
–
Trump spoke today in Denver following Sarah Palin. So he did that because after Palin there’s a CHANCE the Donald looks sane by comparison?
–
A Miami strip club bartender wanted to spend some time with a man who wasn’t her husband, so she told hubby she had been kidnapped. He called the cops, she got arrested. Uh, she couldn’t have found ONE friend to say it was a girls’ weekend? #Cantfixstupid #Butyoucanarreststupid
–
Now Al Qaeda and ISIS are both claiming credit for a hostage situation in Bangladesh. I do suppose it’s too much to hope that they might get mad enough to start shooting and bombing each other.
–
Donald Trump, on the Supreme Court’s 5-3 Texas abortion clinic ruling: “Now if we had—Scalia was living, or if Scalia was replaced by me, you wouldn’t have had that, OK? It would’ve been the opposite.”
Because 5-4 is the opposite of 5-3? The Donald is not only not qualified to be President, he’s not qualified to teach 2nd grade math.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: bumgarner jokes, Canada jokes, Clinton jokes, Darwin Award jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, mayo jokes, NBA jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
June 30, 2016
After leading the Brexit movement, Boris Johnson has now said he doesn’t want to be Prime Minister. Whatever happened to “You break it, you buy it.”
–
The Dodgers have put Clayton Kershaw on the DL with a herniated disc. SF Giants are wishing Kershaw well, and thinking “Don’t risk your career and health, take the rest of the summer off.”
Madison Bumgarner was the first pitcher since 1976 to be scheduled to bat for himself in an AL park. And he doubled to lead off the 3rd in a six-run inning. Clearly this was all the #SFGiants needed to wake them up after a horrible evening.. #PitchersWhoRake #PitchersWhoInspire
#SFGiants played much better defense tonight. Presumably they didn’t want to screw up & have to answer to #Madbum #Pitcherswhocanhandleabat
–
Johnny Manziel has apparently been suspended four games for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. Well, gosh, hope that doesn’t make some team decide it would be risky to sign him.
–
Disney World has apparently pulled Louis the alligator, from their Princess and the Frog movie, from the new Friendship Faire Castle Show, and Peter Pan’s Tick-Tock the Croc, from the Festival of Fantasy Parade.
Good thing that poor little boy didn’t get run over in the Anaheim parking lot, or Disney might have had to close Cars Land.
–
Rolando McClain, the Dallas Cowboys LB who was suspended for the 1st four games of the 2015 NFL season for violating the league’s substance abuse policy, has now been suspended the first 10 games of this season for violating the same policy.
At some point it’s not a suspension for drugs, it’s a suspension for stupidity.
–
The FDA is now saying not to eat raw cookie dough, because uncooked flour can be hazardous to your health. Hmm, sounds like an opportunity for millions of Americans to start describing themselves as courageous risk takers.
–
–
Utah senator Mike Lee says he won’t support Donald Trump because Trump attacked ‘my best friend’ – Ted Cruz. Shocking. Cruz has a best friend?
–
Gwyneth Paltrow was apparently shocked to hear that Star Magazine declared her “the most hated celebrity.” “What did I do?” Well, cluelessness is a good start….-
–
A new USA Today poll shows Americans by 4-1 margin agree that the Brexit vote to leave the EU “was a sign of anger and dissatisfaction that can be seen in other countries, including the United States.”
Wonder how many Americans have any idea what the EU is?
–
Mike Ditka has declined Donald Trump’s invitation to speak at the Republican National Convention. Guess he hasn’t been hit on the head THAT many times.
–
One of the Istanbul airport attackers was apparently Russian. So much for that Trump-Putin bromance.
Donald Trump today, speaking as a plane buzzed overhead “That could be a Mexican plane up there. They’re getting ready to attack.” Isn’t it nice that that Donald is trying to be more Presidential?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: boris johnson jokes, brexit jokes, bumgarner jokes, GOP convention jokes, Janice Hough, Putin jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
June 29, 2016
Following on the NBA championship of the Cavs, the Indians have won 12 games in a row. For those who think Cleveland’s just piling on, don’t worry, the Browns’ pre-season starts soon.
–
The NCAA has a new rule that all bowl-eligible teams with 6-6 records must be chosen for a bowl before any teams with a 5-7 record are offered the games.
With all due respect, isn’t a bowl game for a .500 team the football equivalent of a participation trophy?
–
The NFL Players Association doesn’t want the active players named in the Al-Jazeera PED report interviewed by the league, but Peyton Manning apparently will cooperate. So long as the interview is sponsored by Papa John’s and Budweiser.
–
Michael Phelps tonight won the 200-meter butterfly and became the first U.S. male swimmer to qualify for five Olympics. Whereupon he celebrated by yelling “You punks get out of my pool.”
–
2015 Seahawks backup QB Tarvaris Jackson was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after a woman in Florida accused him of threatening her with a gun last week. Now, newly signed backup QB Trevone Boykin has been charged with assault causing bodily injury after an Dec 31 incident with a police officer at a bar before the Alamo Bowl.
Who’s next for Seattle? Johnny Manziel is available.
–
Johnny Manziel says he is going sober on July 1. For the troubled QB’s sake, I hope he’s right. But hard not to quote Inigo Montoya: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means”
–
–
The Miss Teen USA pageant says they are dropping the swimsuit portion of their competition, replacing it with an athletic wear competition. For all men who only tuned in for the swimsuits, three words “tight yoga pants.
–
The California “Adult Use of Marijuana Act” is officially on this November’s ballot. Well, it’s high time.
–
#HeterosexualPrideDay. Really? Just go to a lot of frat houses, where every day is #HetrerosexualPrideDay.
–
Regarding that story of Christy Sheats, the Texas mom and gun-rights advocate who fatally shot her daughters, reports are now that police had been called out 14 times since 2012 to their home, calls involving Christy’s having a “mental crisis.”
And she was still allowed to have guns? #wellplayedNRA #sarcasm
–
Surprisingly little media attention to Istanbul only a day after the attacks. Must not have been any Americans killed. Sigh.
–
I miss President Obama already: “Now somebody else who has never shown any regard for workers, who has never fought on behalf of social justice issues, they don’t suddenly become a populist because they say something controversial in order to win votes. That’s not the measure of populism. That’s nativism or xenophobia or worse. Or it’s just cynicism.”
–
A new Quinnipiac University poll says Donald Trump has the support of 1% of black voters. That many?
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cleveland jokes, Janice Hough, Manziel jokes, marijuana jokes, Michael Phelps, NCAA jokes, NFL jokes, pageant jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
June 29, 2016
RIP Pat Summitt. If they didn’t have a women’s basketball team in heaven, they do now. And practice starts tomorrow at 9am, sharp.
–
Mark Zuckerberg is angering locals in Kauai by building a six foot wall around the $100 million property he bought on the North Shore, thereby destroying the view for everyone else.
Hmm, not sure what can be done. But maybe people taking helicopter rides on the island should fly over, take pictures and post them on Facebook?
Kellogg’s is opening a cereal only cafe in New York City. For millennials who don’t know how to make it at home?
–
Adam Wainwright almost hit a bird yesterday with a pitch. Although since the St. Louis pitcher isn’t hitting 90 on the radar gun these days, had he hit it, the bird might have escaped with minor injures.
–
Getting so many urgent “Vote” emails from #SFGiants for #MLBAllStargame almost wonder if they’ve hired Bernie Sanders?
–
Bad news for the Yankees, as Carlos Beltran left the game appearing to have injured his hamstring. At least the SFGiants hadn’t traded away another top prospect to get him for a second time.
–
Tony Hawk, at the age of 48, has landed a stunt called a “900” -r a two-and-a-half aerial spin — 17 years after he first accomplished it. Of course, then there was the little matter of getting up afterward.
–
The U.S. Supreme Court denied an appeal by a family-owned pharmacy that didn’t want to provide emergency contraceptives to women because of their “Christian beliefs.”
You know, I would take these “religious freedom” people more seriously if they demanded to see marriage licenses from men wanting ED drugs.
–
RB Zurlon Tipton, 26, who played for the Indianapolis Colts the past two years, has died. Tipton was apparently trying to take a duffel bag out of his car when a gun inside the bag went off and shot him in the stomach. #ifonlyhewasarmed.
–
So while Bernie is still mulling over a possible endorsement, Elizabeth Warren hit the campaign trail big time with Hillary Clinton. Proving once again, when it comes to politics, women know how to quit whining and get to work.
–
Donald Trump attacked Hillary Clinton on globalization and vowed if elected he would use only U.S. steel and aluminum on road, bridge, and construction projects and employ only American workers.
Uh, why wait, the Donald could call tomorrow for all his Trump-branded products only to be manufactured in the U.S by American workers….
–
Thought immediately after the latest attack “We don’t know much yet about the awful attack at #Istanbul‘s #Ataturk airport. But that won’t stop #DonaldTrump from blaming Obama.”
And sure enough… So Donald Trump of course ranted on Twitter after Istanbul saying “When will the world realize what is going on?” and “We must do everything possible to keep this horrible terrorism outside the United States.”
Uh, except that with all of our US recent mass shootings, the killer, or in San Bernardino one of the two, was born in the United States.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, kellogg's jokes, mark zuckerberg jokes, pat summitt
Comments: 2 Comments
June 27, 2016
Iceland just knocked England out of the #Euro2016. This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to England since Thursday.
After England’s loss to Iceland, England soccer coach Roy Hodgson resigned immediately. And probably about five minutes before he was fired.
–
Carmelo Anthony says he’s already trying to recruit Kevin Durant. Well, there are some advantages to the Knicks – lots of media attention, the city of New York, and the months of May and June off.
–
A new Lenny Dykstra book coming out tomorrow is apparently so toxic that even Jose Canseco is saying “Dude, less is more.”
Rio de Janeiro’s governor said today that the Olympic Games could be a “big failure” What was his first clue?
–
Monday was #NationalSunglassesDay. In Seattle they’re going “National what?”
–
Today is #NationalSunglassesDay. In Seattle they’re going “National what?”
–
Jacksonville Jaguars LB Dan Skuta was charged with first-degree battery for an incident last week in Orlando where he allegedly pushed a woman’s face “with an open hand into a glass window” at around 2:30 a.m. The woman had apparently talked to Skuta, but declined to give him her phone number.
How bad are the Jaguars? Bad enough that not only can’t they come close to .500, but players can’t even impress women?
–
Two University of Texas freshmen who were moving out of their dorm found a hidden hold with antique items from the late 1950s, including pictures and empty beer cans. And presumably some still-fresh Twinkies.
The Supreme Court struck down Texas’s abortion law that would have closed most clinics in the state. More ammunition for “Texit?”
–
Just to prove that stupidity is not confined to one political persuasion, someone -just guessing it might have been a man – at “the Daily Show” thought this was a funny tweet in response to today’s abortion ruling: “Celebrate the #SCOTUS ruling! Go knock someone up in Texas!”
Even though fewer than 10 out of 41 clinics would have remained with the laws the Supreme Court just struck down, the Texas state solicitor general had argued “over 90% of Texas women of reproductive age will live within 150 miles of an open abortion clinic. ”
Not that they’re equivalent, but wonder what would have been the reaction if a law had required Texas men to drive up to 150 miles for Viagra?
Of course abortion and Viagra are not equivalent. But on the other hand, Texas didn’t claim their law was to eliminate abortion, it was to “protect women’s health.” And even the ED drug ads say things like “if your heart is healthy enough for sex.”
So maybe Viagra-seeking men should indeed be required to go to a hospital.
Donald Trump just will not let go of this “Pocahontas” name-calling with Elizabeth Warren. But to be fair, maybe in another life, maybe that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head was a pelt.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, texas jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #scotus jokes, brexit jokes, england jokes, iceland jokes, Janice Hough, Olympic jokes, Supreme Court jokes, Texas jokes
Comments: 8 Comments
June 26, 2016
Last night Madison Bumgarner gave up 3 runs. Today Johnny Cueto gave up 6 runs, Justin Verlander gave up 8 runs, and Clayton Kershaw gave up 4 runs. Okay, this really could be a sign of the apocalypse.
–
On other hand, Sunday the Royals, Rangers, Orioles, Marlins, Indians, Twins, Angels, As, Dbacks, Rockies, Cardinals, Mariners, Giants and Phillies all have scored at least 6 runs. So maybe Kershaw’s four runs weren’t that bad.
–
Congrats to Arizona and Coastal Carolina who will meet in the finals of the College World Series. Many people are thinkng “I didn’t know Coastal Carolina had a baseball team. Heck, many people are thinking, “I didn’t even know Coastal Carolina had a university.
–
The Pittsburgh Pirates won three games from the LA Dodgers this weekend. No punchline, I just liked writing that. #SFGiants.
–
Cubs’ ace Jake Arrieta, a TCU alum, apparently has to get a CCU tattoo after losing a bet to teammate Tommy La Stella, a Coastal Carolina alum, over the College World Series.
Uh, wouldn’t you think Arrieta is making enough money he could have risked something less painful like a car or a Rolex? #cantfixstupid
–
Pete Rose was very emotional today at a ceremony the Cincinnati Reds had to retire his number. Wonder what odds he had gotten on it happening?
–
Mitch McConnell when asked if Donald Trump is qualified for the presidency, said he’ll “leave that to the American people to decide.” Wait, don’t we elect Senators to make the tough decisions for us?
–
In Lebanon, an endangered sea turtle is being treated by a rescue group after tourists dragged it out of the water, and apparently took selfies with it and beat it with sticks. Where is a great white shark when you really need one?
–
Of course we knew that Palin would weigh in Brexit. Not only did she congratulate England but “America can learn an encouraging lesson from this.’It is time to dissolve political bands that connect us to agendas not in our best interest. May UN shackles be next on the chopping block,’
Uh, Sarah, even North Korea is part of the UN….
–
SF Chronicle is reporting the story of a man whose North Beach apartment rent instantly jumped from $1,800 to $8000 a month. Many people will read this and go “That’s appalling.” Some San Franciscans will read this and go “You can get an apartment in North Beach for $8,000 a month?”
After #Chile‘s win over #Argentina in #COPA, Lionel #Messi says he is quitting the Argentina national team -#Messi-exit?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, College World Series jokes, copa jokes, Dodgers jokes, Janice Hough, Kershaw jokes, Palin jokes, pete rose jokes, San Francisco jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
June 25, 2016
Northern Ireland lost to Wales in Euro 2016 on an own goal. That’s the worst self-inflicted misery in the UK since… Thursday.
Sunday is NASCAR Sonoma, and the Pride Parade in San Franciso. Now there are two events that I’m guessing do not have a lot of overlap.
–
Fans in Cleveland have created a “Cleveland Indians Championship Parade.” And the Indians are actually in first place in the AL Central. Maybe God is taking pity on the city for hosting the GOP 2016 convention.
Haven’t been paying close attention to the #CollegeWorldSeries this year. So when were the Minnesota Twins eliminated?
Someone needs to tell #SFGiants offense that just because #MadisonBumgarner is pitching doesn’t mean they can take night off. #nosupport
–
FOX News reported yesterday that Great Britain had voted to leave, not the EU, but the UN. Same difference, right? #sarcasm #nottheOnion
–
#ballotremorse Over 1.6 million people in Britain have signed a petition for another E.U. referendum, basically a do-over. And a whole lot of U.S. GOP voters are going “you can do that?”
–
#GeorgeWill has announced he has left the #GOP over #Trump. So who said Trump couldn’t bring about any real change?
–
Ben Carson just called for a “civil discussion” about guns: “Let’s put on the table – what is the reason for the Second Amendment…And, is there a reason that we need to change those things right now.”
Wow. Sounds like someone’s given up on the idea of being Trump’s running mate.
–
Donald Trump asked about his proposed Muslim ban by the UK Daily Mail.”‘I don’t want people coming in from the terror countries. You have terror countries.” Then, in the same interview “‘I don’t want them, unless they’re very, very strongly vetted.”
Once again, the Donald is running against himself.
–
Evangelical author James Dobson says that “it’s fairly recent” but Donald Trump has accepted Jesus Christ. Ah, but has Jesus Christ accepted Donald Trump?
–
In Texas, Christy Sheats, a mother and gun rights advocate, wrote a scathing Facebook post in March about Obama and gun control: “It would be horribly tragic if my ability to protect myself or my family were to be taken away.” Yesterday, Sheats was fatally shot by police after she shot and killed her 22 and 17 year old daughters.
Well, clearly the girls should have been armed.
From Bill Littlejohn “In the wake of her two year suspension, Maria Sharapova is going to attend Harvard Business School.The anti-doping panel in London calls it ‘Illegally Blonde’
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Ben Carson jokes, brexit jokes, College World Series jokes, Fox jokes, Janice Hough, madison bumgarner jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
June 24, 2016
F*ckmuppet might be the word of the year. Anyone want to start printing t-shirts?
–
The Brexit vote won largely in Britain with over-60 year old voters. Younger Brits voted “remain”, but had a lower turnout.
Lesson for the younger generation of Americans, if you didn’t like your parents telling you what to do growing up, make damn sure you vote in November.
–
You really cannot make this “stuff” up. Google reports that in Britain today the most Googled question was “What does it mean to leave the EU?” But the number TWO question – “What is the EU?” #cantfixstupid
A “Leave” voter interviewed by the BBC today: “I’m a bit shocked to be honest. I didn’t think that was going to happen. I didn’t think my vote was going to matter too much because I thought we were just going to remain.” And then he added that he was “quite worried.”
#facepalm #voteshaveconsequences
–
California has been a bit of a laughing stock at times because of all the really important questions we put to a vote with often flawed and misunderstood propositions. But don’t think we’re going to top Britain.
–
Well at least England doesn’t have to worry about any more heartbreaking losses in the Eurocup #BrexitVote
–
Johnny Manziel’s lawyer accidentally sent a text to the AP which included this about a possible plea deal “Heaven help us if one of the conditions is to pee in a bottle.” Looking like Manziel’s judgment on lawyers is about as good as his judgment on everything else.
#SFGiants should really get a dispensation to open up beer sales again in any 9th inning where Casilla comes in.
–
A traveler from New Orleans to Atlanta ended up being the only passenger on a 160-seat Delta plane, And Delta probably still charged him for an aisle seat.
–
In Dallas more than 30 people have been treated for burns after Tony Robbins encouraged them to walk on hot coals as a way of conquering their fears. #andthesepeoplevote
–
The Battle Creek Bombers, a minor league baseball team, is having “Second Amendment Education Night tonight, sponsored by a local gun dealer. Although guns will not be sold, the event will be “open carry.” Wonder if that includes the umpires.
–
The RNC is having a giant picture of Lebron James across from Quicken Loans Arena, a favorite Cleveland spot for selfies, removed before their July convention. What a shame. It also might have been attendees only chance to get a picture featuring an African-American.
QB Tarvaris Jackson, an NFL free agent who was most recently Russell Wilson’s backup with the Seahawks, was arrested in Floriday for allegedly pointing a loaded gun at his wife and threatening to kill her. You know, that might be a little excessive even if Jackson hoped to get signed by the 49ers.
–
Okay, Donald Trump is both praising the Brexit vote, and blaming Obama for it. Uh, if Brexit is a good thing, then shouldn’t Trump be giving the President not blame but credit? #logicisacommiepinkoconcepts
Taylor Swift, who just broke up with Calvin Harris, introduced her boyfriend of two weeks, British actor Tom Hiddleston, to her mom Thursday, and then flew with him Friday on her private jet to England to meet HIS mother. Well, the couple may not marry, but at least Swift should get a heck of a song out of it.,
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, texas jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, brexit jokes, england jokes, eu jokes, Janice Hough, leave jokes, Manziel jokes, remain jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
June 23, 2016
History books teach us that Henry VIII united England with Ireland and Wales, and James I/VI united England with Scotland. And now they may well teach us David Cameron and his referendum was the one who dissolved the UK. #cantfixstupid #Brexit
Many Tory MP’s in Britain signed letter saying Cameron had “a duty to stay on” after #Brexit. Right, like captain of Titanic after iceberg.
–
#DonaldTrump has traveled to the UK at this time of #Brexit turmol, to visit…. his golf courses? #priorities #clueless
Donald Trump & many of his supporters have been in favor of #Brexit. As the UK economy already is taking a hit before daybreak, #becarefulwhatyouwishfor
–
#DonaldTrump due to arrive in #Scotland this am after #Brexit. Too much to hope that he praises vote? (Scots voted strongly for #Remain)
–
Gibraltar did vote to stay in the EU. Shocking many Americans who didn’t realize they were part of Britain. #Brexit.
–
San Diego came in 2nd (to Buffalo) in a list of the 40 most depressing cities for sports fans. Most San Diegans didn’t notice though, as they were outside on yet another 72 degree sunny day.
–
Posted last weekend that Tim Lincecum hadn’t shown he could pitch against major league hitters, but he did show he could pitch against the As. Well, let me revise that, Timmy showed could pitch against the As ONCE. #secondtimenotthecharm
–
Kawhi Leonard is the latest NBA player to say he will not play in Rio in 2016. It’s tough to have a Dream Team when it’s looking like a Nightmare Olympics.
–
Carmelo Anthony has announced he WILL actually play for Team USA in the Olympics. Makes sense, even with the depleted roster, Carmelo still has a better chance of winning something than while he’s on the Knicks.
Elizabeth Warren showed up last night on the House floor with several boxes of Dunkin’ Donuts. A blatant but futile attempt to elicit #NoBillNoBreak support from Chris Christie.
–
Many people were injured and the gunman shot dead by police in a theater attack in Germany today. No definite word on who the man was, if he were Muslim so conservatives can blame “radical Islam,” or neo-Nazi so they can blame mental illness.
–
Just to prove that the US doesn’t have a monopoly on a paranoid electorate, there was a hashtag #usepens trending in Britain Thursday. Because of “warnings” that pencil-written ballots may be erased as part of an government conspiracy to remain in the EU.
–
So Paul Ryan calls the Democratic sit-in over gun control a “publicity stunt” and “fundraising stunt.” As opposed to the over 60 times the GOP House has voted to repeal Obama…?.
–
Jerry Falwell, Jr, the president of Liberty University, posted a picture of himself and his wife with Donald Trump, in front of a framed Playboy magazine with Trump on the cover.
Falwell has angrily responded to critics saying it’s a “decades-old” cover. Next presume Jerry will be attacking the Clintons over Whitewater and Monica Lewinsky.
–
A friend whose dog just died is trying to adopt a rescue dog and jumping through all kinds of hoops to prove she is worthy. Probably would be faster if she just bought a gun online and walked into the shelter with it demanding that they give her the dog. #sarcasm #mostly
–
From Marc Ragovin, since Rory McIlroy is bailing on Rio over the Zika virus. “I guess we can say that McIlroy is bugging out on the Olympics.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: brexit jokes, britain jokes, cameron jokes, Janice Hough, Lincecum jokes, NBA jokes, Scotland jokes, Team USA jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
June 22, 2016
During the Cavs victory parade Cleveland’s JR Smith held up a “2016 Election” sign with a check next to his game instead of Clinton or Trump. How silly. Smith couldn’t really win Ohio. King James on the other hand….
–
Bernie Sanders said today “”It doesn’t appear that I’m going to be the nominee.” In related news, the Thunder say it doesn’t appear they’re going to be the 2016 NBA Champions.
–
The NHL has approved an expansion team in Las Vegas. Well, this actually could be a major boon for the league. Americans love any sport when they can bet on it.
–
Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert today began a 15-month prison sentence for hiding money transactions. The money was allegedly hush money after his repeated sexual abuse of young boys.
“I feel so sorry for him”, said nobody.
New York City is going to start offering free sanitary napkins, pads and tampons at public facilities. Of course, the city had has no problem already with a full supply of douche bags.
–
#ESPNBodyIssue coming out in July & MLB will be represented by #JakeArrieta. What, no #BartoloColon?
–
Democrats members staging #NoBillNoBreak sit-in on House floor to demand vote on gun control. Time for GoFundMe campaign for portapotties?
–
The #GOP is keeping #CSpan from televising the #NoBillNoBreak Democratic sit-in. So guns are not dangerous but cameras are?
As the #NoBillNoBreak sit-in continued, GOP Rep. Louie Gohmert approached the (literally) sitting members of Congress and yelled ‘Radical Islam!’ Hmm, if only the Democrats were armed.
–#DustyBaker bobblehead night at #DodgerStadium. Nothing against Dusty, great #SFGiants manager. But a Dodger bobblehead? #sacrilege
–
You know it’s a bad weather week in the U.S. when you have a friend in Arizona and another friend/client is traveling in Saudi Arabia. and you hear Ridayh is cooler than Phoenix.
–
Marco Rubio, who pledged he would not return to the Senate if he lost the GOP nomination, today announced his bid for re-election. Of course, given his continued absentee record maybe Marco just meant he won’t be returning to the Senate very often.
–
Burger King is now testing “Mac N’ Cheetos.” These are Cheetos-breaded deep-fried macaroni and cheese sticks. So you can order a Whopper and feel healthy by comparison?
–
Donald Trump today accused Hillary Clinton of being “an extension of Obama,”
And right about now most Americans would take that deal..
–
Trump today called Hillary Clinton a “world-class liar.” So was Trump himself lying in 2012 when he told Fox News ““Hillary Clinton I think is a terrific woman… I think she really works hard and I think she does a good job. I like her.”
–
Paul Ryan was asked today if he trusts Trump. He chuckled and said “it depends on the issue.” Hmm, would the Speaker care to give examples? Or would my friends and readers care to help him?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #NoBillNoBreak, Arizona jokes, Bartolo Colon jokes, Cleveland jokes, hastert jokes, Heat jokes, Janice Hough, NHL jokes, Rubio jokes, sanders jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
June 21, 2016
Tonight have to give it to Scotland. Where about 100 locals got together to buy some land near one of Donald Trump’s golf courses. And in advance of the Donald’s visit they planted this flag.
(yes, that is the Mexican flag.)
Well, I guess the SF GIants sympathy scoreless streak in honor of the Warriors at the end of Game 7 NBA Finals is officially over. (First runs scored in the 4th, 15-4 final win over the Pirates.)
On a brighter note for the Pirates, Monday Erik Kratz hit 1st home run, off #Madbum, today he pitched scoreless 9th, & struck out Belt.. Now that’s just piling on. #SFGIants
–
–
Tuesday is #NationalSelfieDay. Wonder how many celebrated the day by also vying for a #DarwinAward?
–
You really cannot make this “stuff” up. A GOP Congressional candidate for Congress is running a contest on his FB page to give away a AR-15 rifle. In Florida. Wonder if Muslim-Americans are allowed to enter.
–
Wendy Bell, a former Pittsburgh news anchor was fired after she posted on Facebook in March about unidentified shooting suspects “You needn’t be a criminal profiler to draw a mental sketch of the killers…. They are young black men, likely in their teens or in their early 20s….”
Now Bell says she was fired because she is white. Nope, she was fired for being stupid. #Facebookitsaprivilegenotaright
–
Lebron James, Jr, age 11, apparently already has scholarship offers from Kentucky and Duke. Not sure if dad will give his son any advice, other than not to announce his decision on an ESPN special.
–
Donald Trump’s campaign has apparently spent over $6 million, about 10% of their total expenditures, into Trump branded products, from water to wine to hotels.
Not sure the reaction is “That’s appalling.” Or “That’s shocking, only 10%?”
–
Donald Trump’s latest to evangelical leaders, “We don’t know anything about Hillary in terms of religion.”
So he’s saying they should vote for someone like him who’s been married three times and wants to date his own daughter? #smh
–
Donald Trump has added Michele Bachmann to his Evangelical Advisory Board. #Jesuswept
–
US. Rep. Steve King, upset about the idea of Harriet Tubman on the $20, is proposing an amendment to a House bill to ban the use of funds to redesign any Federal Reserve note or coin. No matter that such an amendment would also stop the government from anti-counterfeiting measures. #Cantfixstupid #butyoucanreelectstupid
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #cantfixstupid, Alabama jokes, college football jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, mexico jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
June 20, 2016
–
SF Giants looking like they’re the Bay Area team hungover after the Warriors loss.
–
President Obama waited with his family on Air Force One after the plane landed on Sunday at Andrews so he could watch the last two minutes of the NBA Finals game 7. And during that time the President scored exactly as many points as the Warriors.
–
So if you count end of #Game7 the #Warriors & #SFGiants have now been held scoreless for 4 minutes, 39 seconds & 9 innings.
–
On the subject of “best ever seasons,” the SF Giants have won 100 games or more three times, in 1962, 1993 and 2003. The first time they lost in 7 to the Yankees, the second time they didn’t make the playoffs, the third time they were bounced in the first round.
As a Giants fan I’ll take the more plebian 2010, 2012 and 2014 seasons.
–
Hard morning for #Warriors fans. But it’s got to hurt a little less when your last championship t-shirt doesn’t even have stains on it yet..
Although it didn’t work out with an RBI for the SFGiants, the Pirates pulled their starter in the 7th, because they didn’t want him to face Madison Bumgarner. No joke. #Pitcherswhorake.
–
Yuck. Four hikers died this weekend in Arizona, as Phoenix reached 118 degrees and Tucson reached 115. Awful, but isn’t hiking when the temperature is at oven temperature levels basically going for a Darwin award?
–
A Louisiana prosecutor has declined to charge two Alabama football players who were arrested last month on charges of possession of a controlled dangerous substance and illegal possession of a stolen firearm. D.A. Jerry Jones. “I want to emphasize once again that the main reason I’m doing this is that I refuse to ruin the lives of two young men who have spent their adolescence and teenage years, working and sweating, while we were all in the air conditioning.”
Who says there’s no compensation for playing college football?
–
A SF judge has ruled that two Starbucks customers can pursue their lawsuit claiming that the chain underfills their lattes. The plaintiffs say the chain currently considers the top layer of foamed milk as part of the total volume of the latte.
And of course if Starbucks did fill drinks to the brim without foam, someone would have sued over being burned by overflowing coffee.
–
Both Scottie Pippin and Dennis Rodman have just said that the Warriors loss makes the 1995-96 Bulls the NBA’s best ever team. So are they planning to get together with the 1972 Miami Dolphins to crack open some champagne?
The Senate failed to pass four gun control measures today, including one that would simply expand background checks from brick and mortar gun stores to gun shows and online purchases. Well, sure, because no one with “issues” thinking of committing a gun crime would ever think of going to a show or online.
#Profilesnotincourage #whollyownedsubsidiaryoftheNRA–
–
So I think I’ve got this straight, GOP thinks it’s okay to profile Muslims in US but not to the extent of forbidding them to buy guns.
–
Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski has been fired. Shocking many who didn’t realize Trump had anybody running his campaign.
–
Wonder if Trump filmed the firing for a future segment of “The Apprentice?”
–
Donald Trump is now accusing Jeb Bush of working to try to oust him as the GOP nominee. Uh, leaving the paranoia aside, based on “Jeb!”s campaign, why would the Donald be worried about Bush actually accomplishing anything?
–
Somewhere even Richard Nixon has to be thinking that Donald Trump is more than a bit paranoid.
–
From TC ” Singer Don MacLean and his wife have finalized their divorce and a settlement of $10M has been agreed upon. So… “Bye Bye to a 10 million dollar piece of pie….”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cavs jokes, finals jokes, hot weather jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, Starbucks jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 