Posted tagged ‘mexico jokes’

Harsh

January 27, 2017

ESPN reports Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski apparently is disciplining players by temporarily kicking them out of the locker room and forbidding them from wearing team gear.
Shame coach K is at Duke, at many top basketball schools he could issue the ultimate punishment – make them go to class.

Seahawks assistant coach Rocky Seto is leaving the team to enter the ministry. Hmm, if he really wants to be around  a lot of people praying every Sunday, maybe Seto should join the 49ers.

LeBron James was already unhappy about Cavs roster. Now Cleveland lost to Sacramento Kings. Who’s getting fired this time?

Things are getting crazy enough in U.S. that Americans are actually looking forward to the sober sensibility of Super Bowl media week.

OT Joe Thomas says the Browns should use their first pick on a pass rusher. Now, before Deshaun Watson gets too happy about potentially dodging that bullet, remember, the #2 pick goes to the 49ers.

Steve Bannon “I want you to quote this. The media here is the opposition party.” Time to subscribe to another newspaper. #Resist

On a positive note, have to guess that President Trump is really really good for U.S. wine sales.

Dow when Obama took office, 7949. Dow when Obama left, 19,887. Now Trump taking credit for Dow 20,000. Talk about Hidden Figures.

President wants a 20% tax on all U.S. imports from Mexico to pay for the wall. Uh, $2.8 billion of that is beer. Drink up, Trump voters.

Scientists have moved #doomsdayclock closer to midnight. Kellyanne Conway explains that White House clock runs on alternative time.

While 20% Mexico tariffs make their fruit expensive, we build a wall to keep immigrants out. Uh, who’s going to pick the fruit we grow?

Now Mexican Pres. Nieto isn’t attending a meeting w/ Trump Jan 31.over wall $$$.. But who needs Mexico when Trump Tower has best taco bowls?

Reince Priebus ‘If you defy the laws of this country, you shouldn’t receive federal taxpayer dollars’
But if you settle a fraud lawsuit for $25 million you can live in taxpayer-paid housing.

Who says I never post anything nice about Republicans?! Vamos Lindsey!

“Simply put, any policy proposal which drives up costs of Corona, tequila, or margaritas is a big-time bad idea. Mucho Sad. (2)”

The Trump administration is likely to eliminate a proposed DOT rule requiring airlines and travel agents to disclose baggage fees during a fare search.
Well, of course, travelers who don’t like baggage fees should just use a private plane.

GOP voters today: “Fantastic, Trump shrinking govt & instituting hiring freeze.” GOP voters next month. “Why can’t i get my call answered?”

For the win?

June 21, 2016

Tonight have to give it to Scotland. Where about 100 locals got together to buy some land near one of Donald Trump’s golf courses.  And in advance of the Donald’s visit they planted this flag.

 

scotland

(yes, that is the Mexican flag.)

 

Well, I guess the SF GIants sympathy scoreless streak in honor of the Warriors at the end of Game 7 NBA Finals is officially over.  (First runs scored in the 4th, 15-4 final win over the Pirates.)

 

On a brighter note for the Pirates, Monday Erik Kratz hit 1st home run, off ‪#‎Madbum‬, today he pitched scoreless 9th, & struck out Belt.. Now that’s just piling on. ‪#‎SFGIants‬

 

Team USA COPA post-game motto “Well, at least we didn’t look as bad as Mexico vs. Chile.  (only a 4-0 loss)

Alabama football team’s strength coach, Scott Cochran, will now be making $525,000 a year. Well, that’s a whole $10,000 less than the $535,000 Judy Bonner, the President of the university makes. ‪#‎priorities‬

ESPN reports that former Baylor football coach Art Briles
The former Bears’ football coach promised a woman who was sexually assaulted by one of his players that he would support and apologize to her and her family last week. But Briles backed out.
‪#‎Beinginfootballmeansneverhavingtosayyouresorry‬?.

Tuesday is ‪#‎NationalSelfieDay‬.  Wonder how many celebrated the day by also vying for a ‪#‎DarwinAward‬?

You really cannot make this “stuff” up. A GOP Congressional candidate for Congress is running a contest on his FB page to give away a AR-15 rifle. In Florida. Wonder if Muslim-Americans are allowed to enter.

Wendy Bell, a former Pittsburgh news anchor was fired after she posted on Facebook in March about unidentified shooting suspects “You needn’t be a criminal profiler to draw a mental sketch of the killers…. They are young black men, likely in their teens or in their early 20s….”
Now Bell says she was fired because she is white. Nope, she was fired for being stupid. ‪#‎Facebookitsaprivilegenotaright‬

Lebron James, Jr, age 11, apparently already has scholarship offers from Kentucky and Duke. Not sure if dad will give his son any advice, other than not to announce his decision on an ESPN special.

Donald Trump’s campaign has apparently spent over $6 million, about 10% of their total expenditures, into Trump branded products, from water to wine to hotels.
Not sure the reaction is “That’s appalling.” Or “That’s shocking, only 10%?”

Donald Trump’s latest to evangelical leaders, “We don’t know anything about Hillary in terms of religion.”
So he’s saying they should vote for someone like him who’s been married three times and wants to date his own daughter? ‪#‎smh

Donald Trump has added Michele Bachmann to his Evangelical Advisory Board. ‪#‎Jesuswept‬

US. Rep. Steve King, upset about the idea of Harriet Tubman on the $20, is proposing an amendment to a House bill to ban the use of funds to redesign any Federal Reserve note or coin. No matter that such an amendment would also stop the government from anti-counterfeiting measures. ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎butyoucanreelectstupid‬

 

 

The end i$ in $ight?

June 18, 2016

Ratings have been so high for ‪#‎NBAFinals‬ waiting for the first conspiracy theorist to suggest ‪#‎NBA‬ & officials will somehow try to get a game 8.

Some question as to whether or not Tim ‪#‎Lincecum‬ was ready to face major league hitting. Looks like he was at least ready to face the Oakland As.

Vin Scully last night, in talking about a player from Venezuela, said “socialism failing to work, as it always does.” To be fair, maybe Vin is upset about the Dodgers with MLB’s luxury tax and revenue sharing.

Major difference between the ‪#‎MEXvCHI‬ rout Saturday in Levi’s Stadium and most ‪#‎49ers‬ games?   Mexico fans filled the stadium and stayed longer.

And at 7-0 at least Chile scored a touchdown.

Among many ideas for redeveloping Penn Station in New York City,  is a proposed thrill ride that would charge $35 for a free fall experience.  Uh, okay, but for locals who really enjoy free-falling, aren’t they already satisfied with the Knicks?

 

#‎ChelseaClinton‬ has announced the birth of a baby boy, ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬‘s 2nd grandchild. Waiting for the ‪#‎GOP‬ rebuttal.

 

Billionaire Charles Koch has not endorsed in the presidential race, but last month he contributed $3 million to “Freedom Partners” a super PAC supporting GOP senators. Maybe the PAC should rename itself honestly – “Republicans Surviving Hillary Because We Won’t Survive Trump.

A frustrated Donald Trump “It would be helpful if the Republicans could help us a little bit.” The GOP to Trump “Back at ya.”

The Trump campaign sent out an email “Right now we’re facing an emergency goal of $100,000 to help get our ads on the air. We need your contribution by 11:59 P.M. Tonight.”
Finally, Trump is acting like a real candidate.

Sarah Palin posted a rant today on Facebook starting out “President Obama is a Special Kind of Stupid.” Does this even need a punchline?

 

#‎MSN‬ poll: 74% in US think ‪#‎Game7‬ will be close. (34% ‪#‎Cavs‬, 40% ‪#‎Warriors‬.) Shocking, 74% think any 2016 ‪#‎NBAFinals‬ game will be close?

Storms and other hot air

October 23, 2015

The Pacifc Coast of Mexico braced today for Patricia, possibly the “worst hurricane ever.,” which was expected still to be a major storm by the time it hits Texas.   Waiting for Donald Trump to say if he were in charge he’d put up a wall to stop it.

The only way CNN could have been more excited about Hurricane ‪#‎Patricia‬ was if there were a cruise ship potentially stuck in it.

First Jim Webb, now it’s bye bye Lincoln Chafee. Say what you want about Democrats, but at least they know when to give up on hopeless Presidential campaigns. Yes, I’m talking about you “fill-in-the-blank.”

U.S. authorities this week found a U.S.-Mexico border tunnel stretching the length of 8 football fields long, from Tijuana to San Diego, with lighting, electricity and a rail system. Sounds like these are the kind of folks Trump might want to build that wall.

Spurs basketball coach Gregg Popovich is going to be the new coach of Team USA. Will be quite a change for Pop to coach a team of American players.

Got to love it, on Friday night, Fox Sports ticker had “Breaking News – Royals defeat Rays 4-3 to advance to second straight World Series.” During post game ‪#‎ALCS‬ coverage.

Scott Servais will apparently be named the Mariners new manager this year. So once again folks, if you want your kids to grow up to be managers, give them a catcher’s mitt.

Westboro Baptist Church was picketing the Blue Jays -Royals ALCS game tonight to “preach to the depraved Canadians.” Where were some players with good strong bat flips when you REALLY needed them?

New Jersey police are looking for the rightful owner of 50 pounds of pot that was mailed to someone who didn’t even live at the address. When that person comes forward he/she will receive free room and board from the state for a while. Along with a ‪#‎canttixstupid‬ award.

The number of confirmed Shigella infections has risen to 141 in an outbreak traced to a San Jose, CA restaurant. So waiting for N.C. senator Thom Tillis to reiterate his Feb. 2015 comments of how obligatory hand-washing rules are an example of government overreach.

McDonald’s is testing out new sweet potato fries in Texas. Makes sense. Most Americans really do feel sweet-deprived.

Maine voters fhis fall have “Question 1”, a citizen initiative to strengthen the state’s Clean Election Act . It requires more donor transparency, and would allow candidates that are being heavily outspent by their opponents to re-qualify for additional public financing by collecting more small-dollar contributions.
Governor Paul LePage says “that’s like giving my wife my checkbook. I’m telling you, it’s giving your wife your checkbook.”
Wow., that’s misogynistic enough you wonder if LePage is hoping to be a GOP running mate.

President Obama today compared Republicans to ‪#‎GrumpyCat‬. Prompting calls for an apology…. from Grumpy Cat.

While most agree Hillary Clinton is smart, some of the buzzwords used against her are “Machiavellian,” “ambitious,””ruthless,” “duplicitous,” etc.
Just thinking, what if the Dems ran a woman who was just considered smart, sweet, kind and understanding? Then the GOP would say she was naive and by no means tough enough to lead in a tough world of cunning male leader