Posted tagged ‘iceland jokes’

Seeing red?

June 27, 2016

Iceland just knocked  England out of the #Euro2016. This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to England since Thursday.

 

After England’s loss to Iceland,  England soccer coach Roy Hodgson resigned immediately. And probably about five minutes before he was fired.

Carmelo Anthony says he’s already trying to recruit Kevin Durant. Well, there are some advantages to the Knicks – lots of media attention, the city of New York, and the months of May and June off.

A new Lenny Dykstra book coming out tomorrow is apparently so toxic that even Jose Canseco is saying “Dude, less is more.”

 

Rio de Janeiro’s governor said today that the Olympic Games could be a “big failure” What was his first clue?

Monday was ‪#‎NationalSunglassesDay‬. In Seattle they’re going “National what?”

Today is ‪#‎NationalSunglassesDay‬. In Seattle they’re going “National what?”

Jacksonville Jaguars LB Dan Skuta was charged with first-degree battery for an incident last week in Orlando where he allegedly pushed a woman’s face “with an open hand into a glass window” at around 2:30 a.m. The woman had apparently talked to Skuta, but declined to give him her phone number.
How bad are the Jaguars? Bad enough that not only can’t they come close to .500, but players can’t even impress women?

Two University of Texas freshmen who were moving out of their dorm found a hidden hold with antique items from the late 1950s, including pictures and empty beer cans. And presumably some still-fresh Twinkies.

 

 

The Supreme Court struck down Texas’s abortion law that would have closed most clinics in the state. More ammunition for “Texit?”

Just to prove that stupidity is not confined to one political persuasion, someone -just guessing it might have been a man – at “the Daily Show” thought this was a funny tweet in response to today’s abortion ruling: “Celebrate the ‪#‎SCOTUS‬ ruling! Go knock someone up in Texas!”

 

Even though fewer than 10 out of 41 clinics would have remained with the laws the Supreme Court just struck down, the Texas state solicitor general had argued “over 90% of Texas women of reproductive age will live within 150 miles of an open abortion clinic. ”
Not that they’re equivalent, but wonder what would have been the reaction if a law had required Texas men to drive up to 150 miles for Viagra?

Of course abortion and Viagra are not equivalent.  But on the other hand, Texas didn’t claim their law was to eliminate abortion, it was to “protect women’s health.” And even the ED drug ads say things like “if your heart is healthy enough for sex.”
So maybe Viagra-seeking men should indeed be required to go to a hospital.

 

 

Donald Trump just will not let go of this “Pocahontas” name-calling with Elizabeth Warren. But to be fair, maybe in another life, maybe that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head was a pelt.