Archive for the ‘football jokes’ category
September 17, 2017
Forget who’s going to get a win first, the 49ers or Bengals? Who’s going to score a touchdown first?
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On a brighter note, neither team is likely to get many penalties for excessive celebration.
With their 3rd field goal today, the 49ers didn’t outscore the Seahawks. But they barely outscored the SF Giants who somehow managed to score 7.
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Who knew – Tony Romo is already a seriously good NFL color analyst. This might finally be his ticket for success in the postseason.
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The Indians are back on a winning streak. Meanwhile bigger story in Cleveland is that the Browns actually scored a touchdown.
Watching some of games today & thinking maybe it’s that Colin Kaepernick might be too good to be some NFL teams’ quarterback.
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Looking ahead to #NFL Week 3 – #Browns vs #Colts . Otherwise known as the “Someone’s got to win Bowl?”
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NY Jets players said they were “infuriated” and “demoralized” when Marshawn Lynch did a dance on the sidelines late in Sunday’s game. Of course, what should really have them infuriated and demoralized is losing to the Raiders by 25.
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#Stanford lost the lead and the game to #SDSU after power was restored at SDCCU stadium last night. De-Lighted?
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So the real question of the night, after #Emmys who will @realDonaldTrump attack with a tweet at 3am?
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Since Sean Spicer sort of admits he lied as Press Secretary, will the Emmy’s invite Donald Trump some day in future if he admits lying as President?
Seeing Sean Spicer on the Emmy’s makes me long for days when middle-aged white men caught lying for a President went to jail. #Watergate
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Just imagining what would have happened if UN Ambassador had explained behavior of Hillary Clinton’s by saying “She gets emotional.”
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Trump calls Kim Jong Un “Rocket Man” Funny, when I think of President & Elton John it’s more like “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word.”
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How do we report to Melania Trump anti online-bullying campaign someone is joking about hitting women w/ golf balls? Asking for a country.
Categories: football jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Bengals jokes, Emmys jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
May 2, 2017
Greg Hardy says he’s “not a f*cking psychopath.” Right, and he doesn’t have anger issues either.
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Raiders top draft pick Gareon Conley’s first said “nothing happened” the night he was accused of rape. Now TMZ reports he said, he said he received “brief oral sex” from his accuser.
So oral sex is nothing. Does this guy want to be an NFL player or run for President?
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Real simple solution for #RedSox: Get name, address of anyone behaving like fans did w/ #AdamJones & ban them from buying tickets to Fenway.
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But really Red Sox fans, Boston at this point should be better than this. Racial taunts are never appropriate. And really obnoxious taunts should be saved for the Yankees.
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So Joe Mixon has an NFL job and Colin Kaepernick doesn’t. Controversy is clearly a distant 2nd in the league to perceived talent.
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Stephen Curry’s was asked what he’s going to do on the Warriors’ day off in Salt Lake City – “I won’t be riding a dirt bike.”
Too soon? Mean bitch karma might tell Steph to be careful walking down hotel steps. #pagingJeremyAffeldt
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SF Giants pitcher Matt Moore got staked to a 4-0 lead in the top of the 2nd inning against the Dodgers, and then, after a 7 pitch 1st, promptly gave back 6 runs in the bottom of the inning. Not much silver lining but maybe a bit of solace for Giants fans who have wondered “if only Bochy had let Moore go one more inning in the 2016 NLDS game 4 against the Cubs.”
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Alabama’s Nick Saban will be paid $11.125 million this season. But heaven forbid someone buy one of his college football players dinner.
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American Airlines is reducing legroom on some of their flights within the US from 31 to 29 inches. Wonder if they will allow you to put your knees in checked baggage free of charge.
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Biggest mistake made with the #fyrefestival? Not hiring Sean Spicer to tell the world how great it was.
Understand Hillary still being focused on losing close election maybe she should have won. Can’t understand Trump’s obsession. #sorewinner
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Wonder how much we’d need to raise on a #GoFundMe page to get @realDonaldTrump to go back to that previous life he loved so much?
“Compassionate conservatism?” GOP Rep. Pittenger on Trumpcare pre-existing conditions. “People can go to state that they want to live in,”
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Alabama Rep. Mo Brooks on CNN. “My understanding is that (the new Trumpcare) will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool. That helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives, they’re healthy, they’ve done the things to keep their bodies healthy. And right now, those are the people — who’ve done things the right way — that are seeing their costs skyrocketing.”
Right, because cancer only happens to people who have led bad lives? #WTF?
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Trump tweets – “change rules now to 51%. Country needs a good “shutdown” in Sept. to fix mess!” But imagine what Obama could have done without filibuster
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Austin police say the a man was “suffering from mental health issues” when he allegedly killed a student and injured three others with a hunting knife. He just had a hunting knife? Maybe the guy didn’t know the GOP had overturned an Obama rule in order to defend his 2nd amendment rights.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: obamacare jokes, Raiders jokes, Red Sox jokes, SFGiants jokes
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February 8, 2017
Patriots RB James White says he doesn’t know what happened to the football he scored the winning touchdown with in Super Bowl 51. “I actually don’t know what I did with it. I left it on the ground and started running.”
Well, at least there’s no way for the NFL to check if the ball was deflated.
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Falcons have picked interim Crimson Tide offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian as their new OC. Does Atlanta know Alabama was winless in the Sarkisian area?
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Golden State Warriors are rewarding their loyal season ticket holders with a 15-25% price increase next season. But just imagine how inexpensive 2017-2018 tickets will seem compared to those in the new SF arena.
A United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Kauai today developed autopilot problems and circled for hours before landing back at SFO more than 3 hours after takeoff. Now for the really important question, did passengers get extra miles for all that circling?
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Hate to say it but #DeVos incompetency might limit her damage. What if Trump replaced her w/ smarter person w/ same view
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While we’re changing all the rules in this country can we eliminate the 22nd amendment?
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Trump this morning starts out a tweet with “I don’t know Putin, have no deals in Russia….” Does he type these with a straight face?
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Trump tweeted today that he doesn’t know Putin. But in a 2013 MSNBC interview he said “I do have a relationship” with Putin.
No wonder Trump hates the media; they have this bad habit of reporting on what he says.
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So Betsy Devos is now our Secretary of Education. Yeah, maybe our schools have been wrong in teaching children about the value of study and hard work as far as getting ahead. They should be teaching “How to marry a billionaire.”
Would be interesting to see how many Senators actually went or sent their children to public schools. #DeVosvote
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Don’t just get mad, VOTE. Especially in school board elections. #DeVosvote
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when you elect a reality TV star to Congress. Wisconsin Rep. Sean Duffy (The Real Life: Boston, & Road Rules): “Look at Gabby Giffords. The Marxist, who took her life, a leftist guy, and now you see violence and terror in the streets all across America.
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So Green Eggs and Ham is acceptable reading on the Senate floor but a letter from Coretta Scott King is not? #WTF?
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Trump thinks “California is out of control.” Where do I get the “Out of Control Nasty California Woman T-Shirt”?
Or – “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted,” Where’s the t-shirt? I want one of those too.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Trump jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, devos, devos jokes, Janice Hough, nasty woman, Patriots jokes, Warren jokes, Warriors jokes
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February 5, 2017
So did that extra month of rest Roger Goodell gave Tom Brady this year make a difference down the stretch of #SB51?
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In the 4th quarter Brady and the Patriots went through Atlanta faster than anyone not named Sherman.
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At least @warriors fans can rest easy knowing their team will no longer win the ESPY for greatest postseason choke job in the last year.
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But really, what’s with these collapses, the Warriors, the Indians, the Falcons. At this point maybe we should all plan to bet on whoever goes down 3-0 in this year’s Stanley Cup Finals.
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You’d think after watching Pete Carroll that the Falcons would have learned the lesson, when you’ve got the game won late, run the damn ball.
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Wonder how long it took Matt Ryan to realize that a couple V for Victory formations and a field goal would have iced this game? #Superbowl
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Avocados from Mexico commercial. Waiting for the Trump rebuttal.
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But where were the Clydesdales tonight? I blame Trump
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Cant wait for Sean Spicer to congratulate the Patriots tomorrow on the largest margin of victory in Super Bowl history.
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Really? Trump’s latest tweet “Just cannot believe a judge would put our country in such peril. If something happens blame him and court system. People pouring in. Bad!”
So who do we blame for Quebec City, (yes, I know that’s Canada) Charleston, Aurora? And the other over 12,000 Americans killed last year by gun violence?
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VP Pence said today White House considering removing sanctions against Russia. Congrats to all those who had Feb 5 in the pool.
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As some attacked idea of liberals rooting for a team from a Red State, can we remember that #JimmyCarter is from Georgia. #Falcons #Superbowl
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Just guessing we can add #MelissaMcCarthy to list of actors who won’t be invited to any Trump state dinners.
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No tweets from the President over last night’s @SNL. Is @realDonaldTrump sick? Or did someone hide his phone?
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Protest in Palm Beach last night were nonviolent but apparently disturbing to Trump at his Florida gala tonight titled “Vienna to Versailles’
Not perhaps as disturbing as it might have been had the President read his history on Versailles.
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From Marc Ragovin “President Trump just congratulated the New Jersey Generals on winning their eighth Super Bowl.”
Categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Brady jokes, choke jokes, sb51 jokes, Super Bowl, super bowl commercial jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
January 30, 2017
That moment when you turn on sports talk radio for comparatively calm and reasonable conversation. #trumpweek1
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OKC’s Enes Kanter says he apologized to his teammates after breaking his arm by punching a chair during a game with Dallas last week. But did he apologize to the chair?
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On a lighter note, because we need some of those these days, Serena Williams is a damn good tennis player.
On another lighter note, who did the Clippers think they are tonight, the Lakers?
And he’s adorable too. So jealous.
Nikki Haley, saying that at the UN, we will “show our strength, show our voice, have the backs of our allies and make sure that our allies have our back as well, For those that don’t have our back, we’re taking names…”
Of course, the way things are going, the US could have a lot fewer allies to worry about.
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Yeah, there are some truly terrifying men in the world today. How long until some country decides to put in an American ban? Or specifically orange Americans?
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Dr Gholam A. Peyman, born in Iran, US resident since 1970s, invented LASIK. Can we ban Trump supporters from having the surgery? #Muslimban
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A Thailand court sentenced man to 11 yrs in prison for posting material online judged “insulting” to monarchy. Scary. Hope Trump didn’t see it.
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Iran’s Asghar Farhadi is nominated for best foreign film, now may not be able to attend Oscars until he gets some sort of a waiver, fast. Can Meryl Streep accept for him, with speech time?
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Trump has given Steve Bannon of Breitbart News a seat on the National Security Council. I’m ready for Bobby to come out of the shower now.
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Federal Judge Ann Donnelly temporarily blocked President Trump’s Executive Order on refugees with an emergency ruling that applies to detainees already in the United States, or those mid-flight. She said that sending the refugees home now could cause them “irreparable harm.”
Standby for Trump’s tweet calling for removing Donnelly from the bench in 3.2.1….
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Just wondering, what happens with flight attendants from the 7 banned countries? #malicewithoutaforethought
A rare serious thought for a change. Ok, I understand that there are threats that many US civilians don’t understand and so there may be more reasons we don’t know behind Trump’s executive order about citizens of some Muslim countries.
On the other hand, when we live in difficult and nuanced times, what stands out to me is that this EO was dashed off with all the calm reasoned well-thought-out logic of a 3 am Twitter post.
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Categories: airline jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: breitbart jokes, Janice Hough, muslim ban jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
January 19, 2017
Russell Westbrook left off as a starter for the NBA All-Star team?!. Ah for the days when inexplicable voting by Americans just impacted meaningless exhibition games.
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Stanford has 11 players on rosters of the four teams left alive in this weekend’s NFL championship games. The next closest school, Alabama, has 7. #nerdnation
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Trump has appointed Woody Johnson as his ambassador to Great Britain. So Johnson will do for America’s reputation in England what he’s done for the Jets?
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Trump talking about huge crowds for inaugural concert . Based on actual numbers even the Montreal Expos are giggling.
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El Chapo has been extradited over to US. So will Trump name him Drug Czar?
Now GOP has set precedent hope Senate Dems feel justified not voting on any potential Supreme Court nominee. Only 1383 days to next election.
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Trump doesn’t like PC, wonder why he didn’t ask the Stanford band to perform at inaugural – they could have played Yellow River.
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So when Trump takes oath of office will he be saying “So help me, me.”?
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Spokesman Sean Spicer says Trump’s incoming cabinet will have diversity. Yes, rich and richer.
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Rumors are that Trump plans to privatize the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. So will PBS be replaced by “Trump TV?”
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Rick Perry “After being briefed on so many of the vital functions of the Department of Energy, I regret recommending its elimination.”
Because, hey, don’t we all want to close things down when we have no idea what they do?
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Donald and Melania Trump arrived at their inaugural concert to the music of the Rolling Stones’ “Heart of Stone.” #Truthinadvertising
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Treasury secretary nominee Steven Mnuchin admitted in confirmation hearing today while he headed OneWest Bank, he now regrets kicking some people out of their homes. And one of the “”most troubling” of the foreclosures “was actually to the Octomom.”
At the Onion they are going, “that’s it, we quit. Can’t compete.”
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Trump in a speech tonight, “Next time, four years from now, next time we’re going to win the old fashioned way.” As in without Russian help or by getting the most votes?
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Nancy Sinatra, when asked how she felt about Trump using “My Way” for the first dance at his inaugural, responded, “Just remember the first line.” Three words “You go girl.”
(And now, the end is near, and so I face, the final curtain…..)
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: cabinet jokes, inaugural jokes, Inauguration jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, Supreme Court jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 5 Comments
January 18, 2017
Jose Canseco, voice of reason ““It’s a great day for the hypocrisy of the #HallOfFame voting induct all that used Peds or induct none.”
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With steroid era revisited Pudge Rodriguez follows Bud Selig into Hall of Fame, Bonds still excluded. WTF? Can we blame Russian hackers?
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Patriots fans on social media think the commissioner is ducking the Sunday game in Foxboro, And radio station WEEI says “not attending AFC championship may be Roger Goodell’s most embarrassing moment yet.
With all due respect, not attending the game probablyisn’t even going to be Goodell’s most embarrassing moment this week.
Yeah, we’re all special snowflakes out in California but did we have to go straight from a drought into becoming a soggier version of Seattle?
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Last words from #ObamaPressconference were “Good Luck.” Wonder how tempted he was to add “You’re going to need it.”?
If #ChelseaManning said she was only leaking all that classified information on behalf of Russia would GOP be okay with her pardon?
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Vladimir Putin defended Donald Trump against allegations he used Russian prostitutes, but added that “ours are the best in the world.” Okay, I’m appalled. Where’s the defense of American worker superiority from Trump on this one?
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Despite rumors of him choosing a Latino, Trump has apparently picked ex-Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue, 70, as Secretary of Agriculture. Because the President Elect just doesn’t have enough old white men in his cabinet.
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#Livefromthe2017Inauguration only REALLY becomes a trending hashtag if we survive through day Trump first gets nuclear codes.
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Martin Shkreli, downplaying Twitter suspension ““Twitter is actually pretty obsolete.” Ooh, potential Shkreli Trump war. #Passthelargepopcorn
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TMZ reports Michael Flatley is going to dance at one of Trump’s inaugural balls. All together now – “Who?”
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Julian Assange had promised to to “agree to US extradition” if “Obama grants Manning clemency.” Now his lawyer says “Mr. Assange welcomes the announcement that Ms. Manning’s sentence will be reduced and she will be released in May, but this is well short of what he sought. Mr. Assange had called for Chelsea Manning to receive clemency and be released immediately.”
As Maya Angelou said “when someone tells you who they are, believe them. The first time.” #snake
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Remember those innocent days when we thought worst that could happen Friday was putting another Bush in the White House? #Inauguration
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Some discussion and worry about what kind of redecorating Trump might do inside the White House. But he will probably be more focused on putting up neon “T.R.U.M.P” letters outside.
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: drought jokes, inaugural jokes, Janice Hough, Patriots jokes, prostitute jokes, Putin jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
January 8, 2017
On the brighter side for #NYGiants they now have all the time in the world to plan more boat parties.
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Four blowout wild-card football games this weekend remind us why baseball is the best sport. No matter how lopsided the score there is always a chance for a comeback.
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The Miami Dolphins looked as overmatched against Ben Roethlisberger today as a co-ed in a bar. #Bustohell
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Fired coach #SonnyDykes was 19-30 in four years at Cal. 19-30, Sounds like a possible coaching upgrade for @49ers.
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The 76ers have improved to 10-25, and Joel Embiid is talking about the playoffs -“I think we have a chance. We’ve been hot lately.”
Did they legalize marijuana in Pennsylvania and not tell us?
Amazing how many who insisted Obama was helped/influenced by foreign Muslims have no problem w/ Russia being helped/influenced by Russia.
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To save time money & risk maybe television networks could pick one joint pool person to report outside per major storm? “Yes, it’s raining/snowing hard” here.
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Mariah Carey today said that on New Year’s eve she “was looking forward to a celebratory moment with the world. It’s a shame that we were put into the hands of a production team with technical issues who chose to capitalize on circumstances beyond our control.”
Four words Mariah, “Give it up already.”
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On @FaceTheNation @CoryBooker very good in defending Obamacare but looked quite orange. Maybe makeup artist wanted him to look presidential.
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Martin Shkreli has been suspended from Twitter for harassing woman journalist. What a shame that policy didn’t apply to candidates during the Presidential election.
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Hugh Laurie tonight reminded us how much we miss House. Hugh Grant reminds us of what Prime Minister could say to US President #GoldenGlobes
If @CoryBooker is elected President in 2020 I would like to nominate #MerylStreep as Director of Communications or Press Secretary #GoldenGIobe
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British PM Theresa May asked what she thought about Trump’ s pussy grabbing comments ‘as a woman’.
Her response “‘I think that’s unacceptable but I think Donald Trump himself has said that and has apologised for it.” And “the relationship the UK has with the US is about something much bigger than the relationship between the two individuals as president and prime minister…. it’s a relationship where we feel in the UK we can say to the US if we disagree with something.”
Right, and our President-Elect is so magnanimous in dealing with those who disagree with him. #passthepopcorn
Categories: football jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cal jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, meryl streep jokes, NFL jokes, wild card jokes
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December 23, 2016
Bill Belichick admitted today that the Patriots were unaware of how extreme Michael Floyd’s DUI was. But the New England coach didn’t seem too deflated about it.
Idaho beat Colorado State 61-50 in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. I am aware several stars have decided to forego bowl games, but did both teams’ defenses decide to stay home?
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Ezekiel Elliott says he won’t jump in a Salvation Army kettle, after he was not fined for the last celebration – “I think I had my one get-out-of-jail-free card,I used it already.”
Is that really the best phrase to use for a football player who is still under investigation for domestic violence?
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Manny Ramirez’s wife told TMZ that Manny, 44, wants to play professional baseball again. Can the SFGiants sign him and gift wrap him as a present to the Dodgers?
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So tired of hearing that “without California Trump would have won the popular vote. And yeah, without California the Tigers & Royals would each have one more World Series trophy, and the Rangers would have their first. #SFGIants
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On a positive note, tuned into the Spurs-Clippers game tonight, and while I’m not a mall jewelry store fan, saw a nice holiday “Love” commercial from Zales featuring two lovely brides. On TNT. And this commercial has apparently been out for a few weeks and has survived social media conservative outrage. #progress #wellplayed
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Grayson Allen has been suspended indefinitely for “actions that do not meet the standards of Duke Basketball.” So during this time will Allen get help, or consider switching his talents to football?
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The Beach Boys are reportedly considering playing Donald Trump’s inaugural. Considering all the discussion about popular vote, guessing one of their song choices won’t be “California Girls.”
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New White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, asked if she will have trouble handling her job while being a mother of four. “I would say that I don’t play golf and I don’t have a mistress so, I have a lot of time that a lot of these other men don’t.”
Uh, so for all these years how has Trump done HIS job?
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And Kellyanne Conway also indicates that Trump might not have a ban on Muslims per se, but for a ban on individuals from terrorist-prone countries. Uh, looking at Sandy Hook, Charleston and any number of mass shootings, could that standard be used by other countries to keep Americans out?
Twitter’s stock keeps falling after their CTO and VP of Product both announced they would leave. One analyst says the company is ‘toast.” Maybe Trump will just buy the whole thing and use it instead of Press Conferences.
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The US and Russia need more nuclear weapons like billionaires need a tax cut.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: California jokes, Cowboys jokes, ivanka jokes, Janice Hough, Patriots jokes
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December 20, 2016
#Starbucks has come up with a Fruitcake Frappuccino. So will it be shelf stable so it can be re-gifted for years?
#SF49ers & #Rams play on December 24. Wait a minute, aren’t Americans supposed to wait until Christmas day for a traditional turkey?
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NCAA gave Rutgers football notice of 7 possible violations. Can they threaten to make Scarlet Knights bowl-ineligible with a straight face?
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Journey has been selected to the Rock and Rock Hall of Fame. Good omen for 2017 SF Giants? #dontstopbelieving
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Fire crews were called to the Palace of Auburn Hills this morning. Two-alarm blaze, unknown origin. Well, something’s was on fire and it’s sure not the Pistons.
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The Arizona Cardinals released Michael Floyd after his DUI arrest, his 2nd, along with two other “alcohol-related Incidents” at Notre Dame. Reportedly it wasn’t just the arrest but the wide receiver’s lack of remorse.
Now Floyd’s been picked up by the New England Patriots and is heading to the playoffs. Yeah, that’ll teach him.
A video posted to FB by a fan appears to show a security guard at Qualcomm masturbating during while the Chargers-Raiders played last Sunday. Disturbing, yes But on the other hand at least someone from San Diego got some pleasure out of that game.
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Some complain Christian McCaffery should play for Stanford in the Sun Bowl, that it should be about the game and not the future money. Right, except that Stanford by ranking should have been in the Holiday Bowl in sunny San Diego. But instead the Cardinal are in El Paso, where it could snow on Christmas, and be tough conditions, because the Holiday Bowl bypassed them in hopes of getting more fans, i.e. money, from WSU, #karmadoesntlovebowlgames
#LenaDunham just said “I still haven’t had an abortion. But I wish I had.” Now she apologized and said it was a “distasteful joke”. Sigh. Proof positive that no political party or persuasion has a monopoly on stupid.
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If the Democratic party wants to look ahead, and we should, here’s an example of the kind of thing to stop: Yesterday, only two electors defected from Trump; four Democratic electors refused to vote for Clinton.
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Ugh, many dead from an explosion fireworks market in Mexico City. This is a time when the U.S. is poised to give up even more of our civil liberties, not to mention spend more money. in fighting terrorism. But at the same time the incoming administration wants to eliminate more safety regulations as anti-business….
Yes, terrorism kills. So does carelessness. #whatcouldpossiblygowrong?
Categories: football jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, democrat jokes, Janice Hough, Raiders jokes, Rams jokes, Rutgers jokes, Starbucks jokes
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December 17, 2016
Looking at US weather this weekend makes me wish not quite so many people would have said “Hell will freeze over before Trump is elected.”
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Trump tweeted China’s seizure of U.S. research drone was #unpresidented. Actually #Unpresidented is what Dems would like to make Trump
A video of Oklahoma Joe Mixon hitting a woman in 2014 has been released. The running back is the top rusher on the team and a projected top draft pick. But guessing Mixon won’t get the Ray Rice treatment. Because while both apologized, Joe, 20, is still heading for the top of his game, and Rice was already on the downside.
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#Minnesota players ended boycott & so the team will play in #HolidayBowl. Wonder what persuasion school used? Average Dec. temp in San Diego vs Minn?
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Trump tweeted China’s seizure of U.S. research drone was #unpresidented. Actually #Unpresidented is what Dems would like to make Trump
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China says they will return the U.S. Navy underwater drone it captured in the South China Sea. Just as soon as they figure out how to copy it and make the drone for 1/10 the price.
Vanity Fair says they sold a record 13,000 subscriptions the day after Trump said the magazine was “dead” after they slammed his restaurant.
In related news, dozens of U.S. newspapers made plans to send their snarkiest reporters to review Trump Grill.
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In Corpus Christi, at least 4 people are sick probably because of exposure to contaminated water But hey, who needs the EPA going forward.
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RIP Henry Heimlich. Sad, but he did make it to 96. So hope his friends and family aren’t too choked up about it.
Among many reasons to live on West Coast is ability with social media to know in advance whether @SNL is worth staying up for..
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Many Americans voted against Hillary & Jeb because they were against political dynasties. Now w/ Trump’s kids we get dynasty in real time.
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Depending on location, journalists average $24-70,000 yearly salary. Trump & most of Cabinet are millionaires & billionaires. So who’s the elite here?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: china jokes, drone jokes, epa jokes, Janice Hough, mixon jokes
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December 15, 2016
Turned on Thursday Night Football tonight and was having a Spencer Gifts 1970’s black light poster flashback.
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Even Oregon Ducks are looking at these Seahawks uniforms tonight and thinking “WTF?”
LA Rams punter Johnny Hekker tweeted “Almost got denied my morning coffee by the woman working at the cafe because of my rams sweatshirt…loving the hate.”
Actually, that’s surprising. You’d think in Seattle, and every other NFL city these days, they’d be delighted to see the Rams. #EasyW
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Cal announced they are firing their football defensive coordinator after the Bears allowed an average of 42.6 points per game, 127th out of 128 FBS teams
This move shocks many fans who didn’t realize Cal HAD an defensive coordinator.
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Temperatures at Soldier Field for the Green Bay-Chicago game this Sunday are expected to be at or near 0 degrees Fahrenheit at kickoff.
Or as Packers fans and players say “positively balmy.”
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After 1-3 inches of snow fell in Portland yesterday, cars have been abandoned all over the city. In Minneapolis and Chicago people are just giggling.
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A Hawaii bank is absorbing a big loss after a $1 million check from the Hawaii Visitors and Convention Bureau, mailed to New York to pay for an ad campaign, was stolen and cashed in Arizona.
Okay, just one question, who the heck cashes a $1 million check without LOTS of identification? #cantfixstupid
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Figured Vanity Fair must have really slammed Trump’s policies or appointments to get that his latest angry tweet trashing the magazine.. Wrong, all they did give a scathing review to his restaurant in Trump Tower. calling it the “Worst Restaurant in America.” #whythereisnosatire
So all the @nytimes needs for a rapprochement with Trump is to give #TrumpGrill a glowing restaurant review?
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Tiffany Trump is reportedly going to attend Harvard Law School. Feel just a bit sorry for her as some pretty high percentage of her classmates probably have ambitions to sue her father.
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Donald Trump met with executives from many Silicon Valley companies Wednesday but didn’t include Twitter because the company is “too small.”
I get Trump’s ego, but was it really a good idea to pick a fight with the company who really can “delete your account?”
While we agonize over the November election down here in the U.S., up in Canada they have problems too: there’s a big political fight over whether the Super Bowl has to be shown with the much-hyped U.S. ads, or whether Canadian advertisers can replace them with less flashy local ads. No joke. #nojoke #kindlergentlerfirstworldproblems
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And finally, RIP Craig Sager, one of the real good guys in this world. Gregg Popovich’s pre-game comments below, in their entirety:
“I guess on a day like this, basketball has to take a back seat as we all think about somebody who was very unique, very special Whether you really knew Craig (Sager) or not, you got the feeling that he was a special person in a lot of different ways. And right now I just feel for his family.
“To talk about him being a professional or good at what he did is a tremendous understatement. All of us who knew him understood that fact, what he was all about as far as work was concerned, but he was a way better person than he was a worker, even though he was amazing in that regard. He loved people, he enjoyed pregame, during games, postgame — he loved all the people around it, and everybody felt that.
“The most amazing part of him is his courage. What he’s endured, and the fight that he’s put up, the courage that he’s displayed during this situation is beyond my comprehension. And if any of us can display half the courage he has to stay on this planet, to live every (day) as if it’s his last, we’d be well off. We all miss him very much.”
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Craig Sager, Janice Hough, Popovich jokes, seahawk uniform jokes, Seahawks jokes, trump grill jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
December 13, 2016
Seattle Seahawks CB Richard Sherman, angry at the NFL’s scheduling of Thursday night games, referred to them as a “Poopfest.” Would that be the title of a potential 49ers Browns game?
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As fans wait for the end of 49ers season, remember that SF was sure they could win without Jim Harbaugh. And they have, 6 times in 2 years.
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Jim Harbaugh told Michigan players rumors of him returning to NFL are “lies spread by our enemies”. Will he next accuse Putin of being an Ohio State fan?
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Lebron James wore a discreet safety pin on his lapel for the SI Sportsman of the Year cover. You may not like Lebron on the court, you may not agree with his politics. But the guy is a great role model for celebrities who want to express political views with class. IMHO.
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An American Airlines flight from Charlotte to San Francisco diverted with a mechanical problem to Phoenix for 5 1/2 hours. No word on compensation for passengers, especially on the most important question – “Do we get extra frequent flier miles?
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From Bill Littlejohn : “Jennifer Lawrence is in a bit of hot water after relating a story in which she used sacred Hawaiian rocks to scratch her itching derriere. .Butt Fumble II?”
But hey, maybe she just wants to date Mark Sanchez.
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#GarthBrooks will apparently not be performing at #Trump‘s inaugural. Guess he doesn’t have friends in THAT low of places.
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So how many reasons did #RickPerry give @realDonaldTrump to choose him as Secretary of Energy?
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So why did Trump appoint Rick Perry Secretary of Energy?
Because there was no Secretary of Arithmetic?
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President Obama today signed the “21st Century Cures Act”, a $6.3 billion bipartisan bill to fight cancer and streamline the FDA approval process for drugs and medical device. It also includes $1 billion for states to fight substance abuse and drug addiction.
Waiting for the Trump rebuttal.
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At Trump Tower, Kanye West met w/ President-Elect Donald Trump this am to discuss becoming “an ambassador of sorts.”
At the Onion offices “We give up.”
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No joke. The Trump transition team has asked ffor the DOE to “provide a list of all Department of Energy employees or contractors” who have “worked on climate change policy.”
We throw the term McCarthyism around, but this time it may have nothing to do with Russia. #Scary
(if mean bitch Karma wants to unleash a tsunami in South Florida, a good place to aim at would be Mar A Lago)
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Someone is running for President in 2020…. Ohio Gov. John Kasich rejected the so-called “heartbeat bill” which would have banned abortions after about 6 weeks. He did sign a bill preventing abortions after 20 weeks. #verysmallmercies
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In Oklahoma, a law passed this summer will require all public restrooms by January 2018 to have anti-abortion signs posted. Many businesses oppose the measure, not for the message, but because there is no funding and they say it is an unfair mandate that will cost them a total of $2.3 million for the signs. #priorities.
Categories: basketball jokes, football jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, kanye trump jokes, Lebron jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
December 5, 2016
So despite a #18 ranking, Stanford was passed over by the Holiday Bowl in San Diego and the Foster Farms Bowl in Santa Clara because bowl organizers didn’t think fans of the school would travel. And just guessing, a matchup with North Carolina in El Paso on Dec. 30 isn’t going to change that image.
A note about the Sun Bowl. Stanford opponent North Carolina ranks 100 out of 128 FBS teams in allowing rushing yards per game. Over 223 yards per game. Just for comparison, Iowa, the Cardinal’s 2015 Rose Bowl opponent had allowed 128 per game in 2015.
#runChristianrun
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Meanwhile, Cal isn’t going to a bowl game, not because of their 5-7 record, but because their “APR” (Academic Progress Report” wasn’t high enough this year. What a disappointment for all those young men who just missed a .500 record.
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Meanwhile the Cotton Bowl will be played at AT&T Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys, which seats 100,000. And their New Year’s day game features Wisconsin and,,, Western Michigan? Well, 100,000 might also be the number of television viewers.
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So the #CFPlayoff is set with supposed top 4 college teams in US and Cleveland Browns are ignored again. #outrage
If you want to sum up the SF 49ers’ season in one incident how’s this? Dontae Johnson made a snow angel in the end zone to celebrate a blocked punt for a TD. Not only was he given a 15 yard penalty for “excessive celebration,” but he was ruled out of bounds at the 4 yard line.
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#SF49ers had 6 net passing yards today;Gabbert & Kaepernick sacked 6 times. Real question. How did this team EVER beat the #Rams?
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Well, probably too soon to say the @NBA MVP race is over. But Russell Westbrook has 10 triple-doubles this season; rest of the NBA has 11.
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Colin Kaepernick apparently has decided to become a free agent after the season. Wow. He should be about as sought after as SF 49ers season tickets.
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Top executives are leaving Sears, and there are rumors the company may go bankrupt Sad. Not that I’ve been in one of their stores in probably two decades, but who else besides me once thought the Christmas season really started when the Sears catalog showed up?
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Credit Trump for saving another American job for four years. That job is Alec Baldwin’s.
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So @realDonaldTrump does know every time he tweets against @snl millions of Americans tune in to see what he was complaining about? #ratings
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Serious open hints to @realDonaldTrump. If you think @SNL & #AlecBaldwin are that lousy, don’t watch. And get some sleep, you’ll need it.
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Trump is saying firms who outsource or move factories outside America will get a massive tax hike, while there will be benefits for those who stay or return. Does that mean a bonus for Ivanka if she moves production of her clothing line from China to the US?
Apparently Donald Trump is still looking for a qualified Secretary of State. Well, Hillary Clinton is available
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From T.C. “Carolina’s QB Cam Newton was benched for their 1st series tonight vs Seattle because he violated club dress code rules by not wearing a tie. Ex NFL QB Donovan McNabb said, “What? Ties are involved in NFL games!”
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, travel jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: bowl game jokes, college football jokes, Janice Hough, SNL jokes, Stanford jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
November 21, 2016
The NFL played a game tonight in Mexico City. And Mexico is thinking “Wait, Trump is accusing US of sending criminals across the border?”
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SF 49ers coach Chip Kelly, asked if he received any assurance from Jed York on his job next year. “No, we haven’t had any conversations about that at all. About anybody’s job security.”
Of course, in Kelly’s favor, who else might want to take on this mess?
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U.S. Soccer just fired national team manager Jurgen Klinsmann. So congrats to all those who had Nov. 21 in the pool.
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The Washington Redskins keep on winning. I blame Obama.
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But is it just me or does the @NFL have a LOT of lousy football teams?
At Chicago’s O’Hare airport, hundreds of workers have announced a strike for Nov 29. They are waiting until Tuesday theoretically to miss the holiday weekend.
But okay, two days after Thanksgiving weekend? Should be lots of people still stuck at O’Hare.
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LB Jerrell Freeman today became the second Chicago player suspended in a week for violating the NFL’s policy on PEDs.
The Bears are 2-8. Maybe this should be a warning to others, not only will PEDs get you suspended, they apparently don’t work.
Though easy material keeps on coming, I was really looking forward to tough task post-election of writing pantsuits jokes.
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Imagine if Michelle Obama decided to stay in Chicago not to move girls from school in 2009. Would have been uproar on wasting taxpayer $$$.
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So just guessing Green Day is not performing at Trump’s inaugural.
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Mark the date, November 20, 2016. Donald Trump tweeted “I have always had a good relationship with Chuck Schumer. He is far smarter than Harry R and has the ability to get things done. Good news!”
So shall we start a pool on the date Trump decides Schumer is an idiot and/or crooked?
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If Donald Trump really wants to keep illegal immigrants from getting jobs he doesn’t need a wall; just make it felony resulting in jail-time to hire them.
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From Bill Littlejohn: ““President Obama inviting the Chicago Cubs to the White House before he leaves office reminds one of a similar situation the last time the Cubs won the World Series, Pharaoh invited the Cubs for a visit just before the Ten Plagues of Egypt.”
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
November 7, 2016
Some bipartisan good news on this pre-election weekend. It is now less than 100 days until pitchers & catchers report. #SpringTraining #MLB
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The over-under on @Saints @49ers today was 53. Has anyone in Vegas watched New Orleans offense AND defense play?
Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce was ejected today after throwing a towel at an officlal. Had Kelce hit the guy he might have received an offer to QB the Browns.
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Former SF 49ers coach Mike Nolan “You could do a lot worse” than Trent Baalke in picking players. Even Cleveland Browns fans are going “Really?”
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A Swiss chocolate maker has created a new “Frauenmond” bar with herbs that is supposed to help with menstrual cramps and lift women’s moods during their periods. Well, chocolate has long been known to help at “that time of month.” As long as men get out of the way and let women have it.
Apparently the protestor who so scared everyone at the Trump rally in Reno had broken a “no private signs” rule. Figures. Trump is a huge defender of the 2nd amendment. But he’s not so big on the 1st.
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Nancy Pelosi came out today in favor of a California proposition to legalize marijuana. And a lot of regular users are thinking, isn’t this a bit late for next month’s election?
I liked Gilda Radner’s Roseanne Roseannadana’s act much better than #FBI director Jim #Comey‘s. #NeverMind
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Even though the gun rumor was quickly debunked, Donald Trump Jr and Trump’s social media director tweeted last night about an assassination attempt. Because maybe they thought everyone at a Trump rally SHOULD have a gun?
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Lots of last minute political fundraising emails, as if there’s time for mailers, hiring staff or even finding 30 seconds of air time to buy?
With this email mess, #JimComey might have gotten more hatred from Democrats AND Republicans in D.C. than anyone not named Dan Snyder.
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Trump’s aides have apparently taken away his Twitter access until Tuesday. And now the Twitter site was down Sunday night. Coincidence? “If I can’t tweet, nobody tweets”
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Re Trump ban on private signs at rallies: could anyone write anything more offensive than some of the things he actually says?
Donald Trump has done a faster 180 degree turn around on how he feels about FBI Director Jim Comey than about anyone he hasn’t married.
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With all talk about #DNCLeak2 good time for #RNC to release their emails, prove how honorable they are by comparison?
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and a post World Series comment from Marc Ragovin: “World Chess Federation officials are concerned about a possible lack of interest in the upcoming championship tournament because a typical game can take up to six hours to complete. “Amateurs,” said Major League Baseball.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, chocolate jokes, election jokes, fbi jokes, Janice Hough, Saints jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 5, 2016
#Washington played well against #Cal, but not sure how many East Coast media saw as the 2nd half started at 1250a East Coast time. On the night Daylight Saving Time ends. Should they have promoted it as “Turn Back the Clock Night?”
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Oregon’s football program has fallen so far so fast that they may change their mascot from Donald Duck to Mickey Mouse. #Pac12 @espn
Cubs backup catcher Miguel Montero, complaining about the World Series: “It was different for me. It was a different emotion because I didn’t get a chance to play. I was a little disappointed, to be honest, because I felt like I did a good job in the regular season but was left out a little bit.”
Thinking maybe Chicago should trade Montero to say, San Diego or Minnesota where the regular season is all he’ll have to worry about.
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ESPN reports that in Oregon Phil Knight might pay over $10 million a year for a football coach, in the hopes of finally winning the College Football Championship. Well, former Ducks coach Chip Kelly is almost certainly available.
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#YoenisCespedes is opting for free agency. So wonder which jersey he’ll temporarily wear this year?
Texas A&M lost to Mississippi State. Could be tough for the College Football Playoff committee – Which one-loss SEC team will they put ahead of Washington this week?
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Election night may set record for US alcohol consumption. Only ? for most Americans -what they will drink @HillaryClinton @realDonaldTrump
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The Associated Press reported yesterday that Melania Trump was paid for 10 modeling jobs in the U.S. before she was legally able to work in the U.S.
So guess the AP’s now on the Donald’s list. Another reason not to put Trump in the White House, he’s running out of press that he’d be willing to give credentials to….
If @realDonaldTrump really wants to attack @HillaryClinton on leaked emails he should release his own emails to show how pure HIS campaign is.
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For all that @realDonaldTrump likes to rag on @HillaryClinton as a Senator, easy to forget she was re-elected with 67 percent of vote.
A man with a “Republicans Against Trump” sign was handcuffed and taken away from a Reno Trump rally today. No weapon was found. Already the Donald’s supporters are painting him as a Hillary supporter bent on assassination. Waiting for the morning when no doubt it will alleged be that Hillary paid him herself to shoot Trump.
Swing state voters who NEED to protest vote: please do it on Dancing w/ the Stars or something. Only 2 real choices for President & it matters.
From T.C. M GM Theo Epstein has now guided the Red Sox and Cubs to World Series wins, snapping the 2 longest droughts in baseball championship history. In related news, the Toronto Maple Leafs are trying to hire him.
Categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: election jokes, election night jokes, Janice Hough, Oregon jokes, protest vote jokes, reno jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
November 3, 2016
World Series Game 7 was moved up 8 minutes from a 5:08pm to a 5:00pm start, ostensibly to try to get it over before the rain came. Had it started at the scheduled time, that rain delay, instead of giving the Cubs a chance to regroup, would have happened before the bottom of the 9th, possibly meaning Chapman could not have pitched, certainly giving him more time to stew about the blown save.
Hmm, Hillary Clinton is a Cubs fan, where’s the Congressional investigation?
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So if #SFGiants really want to win #WorldSeries again in 2017, maybe they don’t need to sign a closer, just another ex -Oakland A or two..
Time to start a pool on how much Roger Goodell fines Richard Sherman for this one? “The league isn’t fun anymore….they say we’re trying to influence kids, and that’s their biggest thing. That’s their biggest ploy is you don’t want to be a bad influence to kids. You don’t want to be a bad role model. And I can agree with that. But in the same breath, you can’t say Budweiser is the official sponsor of the NFL, and we’re trying to influence kids. ”
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And on the league talking about player safety “That’s for public perception. They don’t care about player safety. But they do care about paying the quarterback $20 million and him missing a season. They do care about that.” #whenShermanisrightheisright
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Lots of outrage on the internet because Neiman Marcus is selling precooked, ready-to-heat-and-serve collard greens for $66. Even Whole Foods is stunned. They would have charged $99.
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A Mississippi lawyer is suing Popeyes after he says he choked on a piece of fried chicken. His claim is that because the restaurant didn’t give him a knife, he had to eat the chicken with his hands instead of cutting it into bite-size pieces.
Uh, how about suing his parents, who didn’t teach him how to chew?
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#MelaniaTrump gave a speech today about cyber bullying. This is like #BillClinton giving a speech on marital fidelity.
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#MelaniaTrump today “Our culture has gotten too mean.” Sounds like she pays as much attention to what her husband says as #MikePence does.
Ted Cruz, who famously said at the RNC convention “Vote your conscience,” is now stumping for Donald Trump. But it’s not as Ted is contradicting himself on conscience – he doesn’t have one.
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Interesting election side note: Both Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump have detractors, and neither are beloved in their own parties, But while many big names in the GOP have publicly turned on Trump, no major Democrat that I can think of has turned on Hillary. And as a life-long Democrat, I can tell you, it’s NOT because we’re the organized party.
From an anonymous friend about bipartisan pre-election “inner peace..
“A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives during this political season, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I’d started & hadn’t finished.
I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu hav no idr how fablus I feel rite now.
Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.”
From Bill Littlejohn: “In the wake of the Cubs’ World Series title, scholars say that at least 45% of the prophecies of Nastrodamus will have to be researched and re-interpreted”
Categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: election jokes, Goodell jokes, Janice Hough, melania jokes, Oakland As jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 27, 2016
If the Raiders head to Las Vegas, Oakland still might not be without a team. At this point Santa Clara/SF might ask them to “take our 49ers, please.”
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The NFL wonders why ratings are down. Lots of complicated hypotheses – but then there are simple answers – like tonight’s nationally televised game – Jaguars vs. Titans. #nobodycares
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Twitter is shutting down #Vine. Advantage of being slow to adopt new technologies, wait long enough & some of it disappears before you get around to it.
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#Twitter announced they are laying off 9% of their workers. Does this mean we’ll soon be down to 127 characters?
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Mike #Pence campaign plane skidded off runway at #LaGuardia. No details but pretty sure it didn’t veer to the left.#Trump
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Earlier today Mike Pence was asked if there was a “red line” Trump could cross that might cause him to leave the GOP ticket. His answer “We’re in this campaign and we’re in it to win,” Translation, “no.”
(Maybe Pence should have told his pilot about red lines on the runway?)
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A Texas A&M freshman was arrested after she allegedly opened her blouse to take a Snapchat picture to send to her boyfriend. While allegedly drunk. And driving. Until she crashed her car… into a police car. No injuries. But another Darwin award #misseditbythatmuch
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More than $5 million worth of cocaine washed ashore in a tube in Ireland. Talk about a high tide.
The GOP is already promising blocked Supreme Court nominees and Congressional investigations if Hillary Clinton wins on Nov. 8. Or as President Obama calls it, business as usual.
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Ted Cruz’s latest “there is long historical precedent for a Supreme Court with fewer justices.” For such a self-described constitutionalist, Ted sure seems to have skipped the “advise and consent” part.
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Former Congressman Joe Walsh tweeted out “On November 8th, I’m voting for Trump. On November 9th, if Trump loses, I’m grabbing my musket. You in?”
Ah yes, that GOP bridge to the 18th century.
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At Ohio rally today, @realDonaldTrump “we should just cancel the election and just give it to Trump.” Would be funnier if he were joking.
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Some reports on the Mike Pence plane semi-crash landing at La Guardia are that the plane was moving too fast in the rain, and overshot the runway. But hey so, it was only ordinary travelers who were delayed and taxpayer dollars will no doubt pay for the cleanup and investigation. #MakeAmericaGreatforBillionairesagain
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At Rapid City’s airport, a SkyWest Airlnes pilot was arrested for alleged DUI before he was scheduled to fly a plane. Will his defense be that he really aspired to work for Delta?
Donald Trump said today NBC’s releasing the Billy Bush tape “was “certainly illegal, no question about it.,” and indicated he might sue.
But of course all the Wikileaks emails involving Hillary Clinton are pure freedom of speech….
Kansas Rep. Joe Seiwert, commenting about singer Denasia Lawrence kneeling down before a basketball game “I’m so sick of these anti-American blacks, f–k Black Live Matter. Go back to where you claim home”
Thinking a whole lot of Native Americans are thinking, “Back at ya.”
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Sometimes you wonder why any sane person would ever go into politics. Here’s partial Wikileak quote from Huma Abedin on Hillary planning to speak about a Super Pac issue with Jeb Bush. “She’s going to stick to notes a little closer this am, still not perfect in her head”
Okay, I’ve only done a little speaking, but seems reasonable, when you don’t have something down cold, and you don’t want to make mistakes, you use notes. And conservative sites are saying “not perfect in her head” means she has an illness affecting her brain.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, darwin joke, Janice Hough, pence jokes, pence plane jokes, Supreme Court jokes, Twitter jokes, vine jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
October 24, 2016
After escaping with a 6-6 tie against Arizona, Seattle takes their nonexistent 2016 offense on the road to face the New Orleans defense. Which might prove an answer to the age old question: What happens when a resistible force meets 11 movable objects?
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ESPN reports the Vikings got Sam Bradford from the Eagles for their 2017 1st round draft-pick plus a conditional 4th rounder in 2018. If however, Minnesota, makes the NFC championship game, the 4th round pick becomes a 3rd, BUT Philly would then have to send the Vikings 7th round pick.
This might be more complicated math than most football players ever took in college.
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These London games mean on the West Coast you can wake up and already know your team has lost for the week. “And your point is?” say 49ers fans
#JameisWinston gets a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for arguing a spot on 3rd down Overly #crabby? #TBvsSF
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So who was leaving Levi’s Stadium at a faster rate? Injured 49ers players, or disgusted 49ers fans? #TBvsSF
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So can we officially go back to calling them the “Fourth and niners?”
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GOP chair Reince Priebus on Trump “He is not willing to not concede if he loses and there’s no fraud.” Orwell would be proud. #doublespeak
Sheldon Adelson’s Las Vegas Review-Journal has become the first major newspaper to endorse Donald Trump. “He promises to be a source of disruption and discomfort to the privileged, back-scratching political elites for whom the nation’s strength and solvency have become subservient to power’s pursuit and preservation.”
Got to love a man who can rail against the “privileged back scratching elites” after he buys a newspaper.
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While I don’t love trending Twitter hashtags, #TrumpBookReport was too good to pass up:
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Helen of Troy, overrated, wouldn’t have been my first choice. But I hear King Menealus had very small hands. #trumpbookreport
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Six days to create the world? Really? I could have done it in five, and done much better for Adam than Eve. Nasty woman. #trumpbookreport
Overrated nasty woman, if I led France it would have been best victory ever. I don’t like people who get burnt at stake. #TrumpBookReport
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, ESPN jokes, Janice Hough, Levis stadium jokes, Saints jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 