Posted tagged ‘NBA jokes’
February 15, 2016
The best Valentine’s Day present for many of us is the realization that pitchers and catchers report this week. #SpringTraining #MLB
Watching the NBA All Star game had to wonder – Does Kobe Bryant have a fatal disease or something?
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NBA All Star Game is over. So #NBA fans who enjoy games with no defense will just have to go back to watching the #Lakers
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There actually was a spread on the NBA All Star Game. And if you know what it is, you just MIGHT have a gambling problem.
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Since the slam-dunk and 3-point shooting contests are so popular with viewers, maybe here’s a solution to the Pro Bowl: forget the game, and just get the top players together for some skills contests. And maybe the No Fun League for one day could let players come up with their “best touchdown celebration.”
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Denver Broncos safety Shiloh Keo was busted for DUI in Idaho, making him the third NFL player to be arrested this year. Once again, the league is proving they can keep making headlines in the offseason.
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A T & T winner Vaughn Taylor made the field Monday in Pebble Beach as an alternate. Put that in a movie & critics would say it wasn’t realistic.
And Taylor certainly “needed” it more than Mickelson. But Lefty at 45 remains one of the most entertaining (and beloved) golfers of our time.
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New SF Giants outfielder Denard Span told an interviewer in 2013 that he was afraid of birds and fish. “You know, I’m okay with someone throwing a fastball at my head But a bird flies at my head, I’m more terrified.”. Which could present interesting challenges for Bruce Bochy in the late innings at AT&T park. #gullpower
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As Ted Cruz continues to insist he will filibuster anyone Obama nominates to the Supreme Court, has it occurred to him that our cerebral and thoughtful President, himself a former law school professor, might pick someone Cruz would like a lot better than, not even a possible President Sanders or Clinton, but a President Trump?
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If these GOP candidates really want to prove how much they love the 2nd amendment, why don’t they agree all to be armed for the next debate? #mustseeTV
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A 45 minute lockdown at Arkansas State University was lifted after ‘gunmen’ on campus turned out to be student actors filming a video. Once again Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.” #cantfixstupid
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Neal makes an potentially fun point,
Ted Cruz’s campaign is dealing with some fallout because they accidentally used a porn actress in on of their commercials. …
“Too bad she didn’t get a selfie with the candidate.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, Cruz jokes, debate jokes, Janice Hough, Kobe Bryant jokes, NBA All-Star game jokes, NBA jokes, scalia jokes
Comments: 5 Comments
February 11, 2016
The NBA is discussing a proposal during the All-Star break that would let teams sell ONE corporate logo on their uniforms for the 2017-18 season. Meaning by about the 2020-21 season the uniforms should all look like NASCAR’s.
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So Jeremy Affeldt is joining the CSN broadcast crew. Can’t wait until the first time the former SF Giants pitcher second guesses Bruce Bochy’s pitching change decisions.
SF Giants fans who remember Affeldt’s creative stints on the DL hope that the network offers good medical insurance.
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Some discussion on where RGIII may end up next year. Well, the Redskins QB may have been disappointing but RGIII should be thankful to Johnny Manziel for making him look like a good bet by comparison.
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Jason Castro today became the first MLB player to lose in arbitration this year.. He had asked for $5.2 million, but the arbitrator sided with the Astros, and gave him only $5 million.
You know baseball salaries are in another world when the immediate reaction is, “only $200,000, why couldn’t they settle?”
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Scientists say they have detected gravitational waves, which were a major component of Einstein’s theory of relativity. Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.
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Ben Carson – “I’m getting a lot of pressure to make sure I stay in the race.” No doubt, primarily from comedy writers who lost both Fiorina and Christie in the same day.
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Anyone but me think it’s a bit strange that the guy who is saying “Make America Great Again” is a multi-billionaire who consistently has had America be pretty great for him.
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Donald Trump attacked the NY Daily News after it put him on their cover as a clown, saying it was a failing paper. So now the NYDN has a new hashtag, #Trumpfails, and started a “brief history of Trump’s many failures.” Get some popcorn folks, this could be fun.
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Patriots owner Robert Kraft to a TV reporter “I happened to see Archie (Manning)…. He has two sons who have won two Super Bowls (each) But with all due respect, we have one son who has won four.” Ah, it’s this sort of thing that makes the Patriots so beloved outside New England. #stayclassy
The Raiders announced they have signed a lease to stay in Oakland for the 2016 season. Translation, nobody else wants them.
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Kanye West, in lyrics about Taylor Swift – ” I made that that B—H famous.” Hard to believe it’s possible but Kanye might almost make the Kardashians look classy by comparison.
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Marco Rubio says he broke a tooth chewing on a frozen Twix Bar. And somewhere W. is thinking “And they gave me grief on a pretzel?”
After a summit in Munich, John Kerry has announced a deal for a ceasefire in Syria “within a week.” #IblameObama
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You call this a debate? Where is the name-calling, where is the crazy talk, where are the clowns? #DemDebate
The U.S election system really has gotten corrupt. Why, we can’t even vote on the American Idol semi-finalists anymore. Viewers won’t be able to vote until the last six weeks. #isnothingsacred?
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From T.C. “Nike is celebrating its Jordan Brand’s 30th anniversary this weekend. The latest models will sell for $200. This compared to only $100 when they were first introduced. The company blames the price increase on raises that have brought their Chinese children factory workers up to 35 cents per hour “
Categories: baseball jokes, cellphone jokes, debate jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Janice Hough, NBA All-Star game jokes, NBA jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
January 27, 2016
All 7 New England Patriots selected to the Pro Bowl will miss the game due to “injuries.” Right, they’re sick about losing to Peyton Manning and the Broncos.
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Meanwhile, the Spurs did not appear TOO traumatized by their loss to the Warriors. (San Antonio 130, Houston 99, and it wasn’t that close.)
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Congrats to Gregg Popovich for being named the NBA Western Conference All-Star game coach. Just to show there are no hard feelings over Monday’s loss Pop has promised to make sure Steph Curry and Draymond Green both get to play at least 46 minutes.
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Cam Newton: “I’m an African-American quarterback that may scare a lot of people because they haven’t seen nothing that they can compare me to.” Even Joe Namath is thinking, “Kid, just a LITTLE humility, please.”
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A Twitter rumor has the New England Patriots talking to Stanford quarterback Kevin Hogan. Say it ain’t so. Did Hogan tell them Stanford has an Honor Code that says no cheating?
Today is the #ProBowl draft?! And if you knew that and cared, you might REALLY have too much time on your hands.
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Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has waived his fight against extradition and will be returning to Texas. Translation, Mexican detention centers probably aren’t the Four Seasons.
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So when #AbeVigoda showed up at the pearly gates wonder if St. Peter originally waived him off with “Go home, you’re not fooling me.”
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An American Airlines flight from London to Los Angeles had to turn around and return to Heathrow today due to some medical emergency involving passengers and crew. Let’s hope they didn’t have the fish.
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Got to love New Orleans priorities. A major 6 alarm fire in an empty building near the French Quarter has thankfully so far not resulted in any injuries. And the local headline “Canal Street fire could affect Mardi Gras parade route
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There’s a thing going around Facebook, if you were kidnapped, what TV shows’ characters would you want to come rescue you? Forget all these cop shows – give me Downton Abbey: NOBODY messes with the Dowager Duchess and Lady Mary.
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Donald Trump’s campaign manager – “What we know is Megyn Kelly is totally obsessed with Mr. Trump.” Uh, who is totally obsessed with who?
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So no one can figure out how to stop Donald Trump. Here’s an idea. Tell him if he is elected President all major networks will jointly appoint Megyn Kelly as their White House Correspondent.
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Ben Carson says about the election, “I see the threat being the fact that people sometimes are not well educated.”They don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, and yet these are people who vote.”
Right, and this is the same good doctor who says being gay is a choice and that the Jews could have prevented the Holocaust if they had guns.
U.S. public health officials are warning that we need to be prepared for the almost certain spread of the Zika virus. Waiting for anti-government types to demand that the feds do more to keep us safe.
Was at the bank today in Los Altos where the older woman in front of me apologized to the teller and stood back a bit from the counter, saying she had just come back from the Caribbean, had been bitten by some mosquitoes, and was afraid she might be contagious with the Zika virus. Sigh. Here we go again. #nothingtofearbutfearitself #feariswinning
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: facebook jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, New Orleans jokes, Pro Bowl jokes, Spurs jokes, Super Bowl Jokes, Trump jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 22, 2015
In April, a federal appeals court overturned Barry Bonds’ obstruction of justice conviction. Today, ending an almost 10 year battle, the U.S. Department of Justice announced they will not ask for a review with the U.S. Supreme Court and are ending the case.
What? Reluctance to spend more taxpayer dollars on this vital issue? #IblameObama
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As we await the potential release of client names from Ashley Madison is it wrong to wonder how many of these spouses met on Christianmingle.com?
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Mississippi State suspended CB Justin Cox for the last three games in 2014 after he was arrested for alleged aggravated domestic violence and burglary. The charges were dropped, and Cox signed with the KC Chiefs.
Yesterday he was arrested again on charges of burglary of a residence, aggravated domestic assault and trespassing. #Cantfixstupid
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Now that Becky Hammon has coached the Spurs to an Summer League Championship, wonder if some NBA team might make an offer to a proven winner like Tara Vanderveer. #GoStanford
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But hey, it was summer league…. what does that show? Well, in 2013 Jason Kidd had his first head coaching gig in Las Vegas and his Nets made the playoffs. Then last year another guy made his coaching debut … name of Steve Kerr. Turned out to be ok.
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Today at a campaign event Donald Trump attacked Lindsey Graham and then gave out the Graham’s personal cell phone number. Not sure if Trump really wants to be President, but he’s doing well in his question to become the Republican party’s most hated person not named Clinton.
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Roger Goodell says there is no timeline on Tom Brady’s suspension appeal, and that they are “being very thorough.” Does the NFL commission have one of Bud Selig’s “Blue Ribbon” committees working on it?
The SF Giants’ Tim Lincecum has been diagnosed with a degenerative hip condition. No doubt after he got the diagnosis Timmy had one question – “Medical marijuana?”
For anyone watching the SF Giants game, Padres pitcher Dale Thayer threw that gum better than he threw that bases-loaded pitch to Hector Sanchez.
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Giants catcher Hector Sanchez, just recalled from AAA, hit a grand slam for the SFGiants. Just guessing that that he was really really tired of playing in Sacramento. #SFGiants
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A Florida gun shop owner has declared his store a “Muslim-free zone” after the latest mass murders in Tennessee, to ensure “the safety of his fellow patriots” And he announced the decision in front of a Confederate flag. So I guess he would have had no problem selling a gun to the Charleston killer?
Would love to see what would happen if a very large African American man with a lot of tattoos walked into his store looking to buy guns. Especially if one of those tattoos was of a bible verse.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Ashley madison jokes, becky hammon, Confederate flag jokes, Donald Trump jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
July 21, 2015
The San Antonio Spurs, coached by Becky Hammon, just won the NBA Summer League. So, apparently real men don’t have a problem with sexual orientation in the locker room. #yougogirl
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Ashley Madison, the “dating” site for married people, has apparently been hacked and the hackers are threatening to post information on millions of users on line. Who knows, the U.S. political scene could be about to get a lot crazier.
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With the Ashley Madison hacking story making headlines, I see a new business model for some enterprising person – A company that will create a credible online to make it seem as if your identity was stolen. “Honest, honey, I have no idea how they got my name and credit card, clearly our personal information has been compromised.”
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Anyone who misses watching baseball games at Candlestick Park must have loved watching the final round of the #BritishOpen.
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Curt Schilling tweeted outrage that President Barack Obama failed to issue a proclamation to lower flags around government buildings to half-staff for the Chattanooga victims despite doing so for pop singer Whitney Houston.
Except that Obama didn’t do that. The only government official who ordered flags lowered for the pop star was NJ Gov. Chris Christie.
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A gay British man who voluntarily donates sperm says he has fathered 10 children with nine different women in just the last year. So the guy is either really altruistic, or he has delusions of being an NBA player.
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The Denver Nuggets have traded Ty Lawson to the Houston Rockets. Hoping it works out, but is it really a great idea to send a guy with 2 DUI’s in a year to a place with Texas’s very relaxed gun laws?
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A profile of Karen Hinton, who is New York Mayor DeBlasio’s press secretary, brings up a story from a 1999 book of how in 1984, when she was 24, then Arkansas governor Bill Clinton gave her a napkin with his room number on it. Shocking. Wouldn’t it be more of a story if Clinton in those days was talking to a pretty young blond woman and didn’t give her his room number?
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ACC commissioner John Swofford says the conference is “not trying to be Big Brother” in dealing with off-field issues like those at Florida State.
“Our approach $o far, and I don’t really $ee this changing, is that we have a lot of confidence in our in$titution$ to handle those $ituation$ when they occur.”
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In Iowa, a former lottery security official was found guilty of rigging a game so he could win a $14 million jackpot, and then trying to get someone to cash the prize for him. Hmm, anyone but me worried less about him than about the ones who aren’t stupid enough to get caught?
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Palo Alto, California, has been sweltering with temperatures in the mid 80s and 61% humidity. Thereby bringing ZERO sympathy from anyone in the Midwest, South and East.
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Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, probably THE reigning royal couple of country music, are getting divorced. No word who gets custody of the material for song lyrics.
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Between Blake and Miranda though, Taylor Swift might have some competition for “Best breakup song of the year.”
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Just in 2014, the NFL gave each teams each $226.4 million as part of national revenue sharing. But all the the league could afford was a $765 million settlement over concussion-related brain injuries for all its 18,000 retired players. I wish this were a joke.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #AshleyMadison, Ashley madison jokes, becky hammon, Blake Shelton jokes, Clinton jokes, country music jokes, Florida State jokes, Janice Hough, Miranda Lambert jokes, NBA jokes, Spurs jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
July 16, 2015
President Obama will be in New York City Friday night, and the FAA has issued a no fly zone over Manhattan. Which won’t affect commercial flights, but will force wealthy folks heading to the Hamptons to take ground transportation instead of private helicopters. “I feel so sorry for them,” said no one in 99.9% of the population.
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Interesting, all the talk about Caitlyn Jenner. But if we’re talking LGBT acceptance, the U.S. women’s soccer team has both gay and straight players, and it doesn’t seem to affect their chemistry OR performance.
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Apparently this season has seen a big increase in the number of NL managers who are batting their pitcher 8th in the lineup. The SF Giants’ Madison Bumgarner is not pleased with this trend. He thinks he should bat at least 6th.
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Here’s a serious idea for a change. Let’s change the MLB trade deadline to during the All-Star break. Would make it easier for players to get to their new teams. And would give sports fans something more interesting to follow during the break than NBA summer league scores.
Mark Cuban is now proposing that the NBA playoffs be expanded to 10 teams per conference. Right, so teams like the Indiana Pacers would be spared the heartache of just missing the playoffs with a 38-44 record.
Josh Smith has left the Rockets for the Clippers, signing for $1.5 million, the veteran minimum, and reportedly told a source he chose “winning over money?” So Smith is bad at history, statistics AND math?
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The Tennessee Highway Safety Office is pulling the “100 Days of Summer Heat Booze It and Lose It Campaign” which was intended to keep young men from drinking too much, with had posters and coasters with messages like this
“After a few drinks the girls look hotter and the music sounds better. Just remember: If your judgment is impaired, so is your driving.”
“Buy a drink for a marginally good looking girl only to find out she’s chatty, clingy and your boss’s daughter. If this sounds like something you would do, your judgment is impaired and so is your driving.”
The only question. Who thought this was a good idea in the first place?
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New Jersey is considering a lottery, open only to state college students and alumni, where the winner would get all their student loan debt paid off. Great, so if they don’t know enough already, students can go further into debt buying lottery tickets.
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As we approach the 2nd half of the MLB season, Vegas has updated their odds for this years World Series winner- with the favorites being the Royals, Cardinals, Nationals and Dodgers. The Phillies are last 5000-1.
Note to anything thinking of betting on the Phillies. try something with better odds. Like buying a Powerball lottery ticket.
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But really, a 5,000 to 1 bet on the Phillies now to win the World Series? Or for that matter 250 to 1 on the Brewers, or even 50-1 on the Red Sox? In all of these and more case, when they’re saying “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” clearly they’re talking about your money.
Apparently Vegas sports books are quite worried about the Royals and Astros, as they stand to pay out big bucks if either team, lightly regarded in the preseason, wins the World Series. But on the other hand, MGM properties report 4,000 bets placed on the Cubs, more than double that on any other team. #youlosesomeyouwinsome
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TLC has officially cancelled “19 kids and counting.” Anybody here actually watch the show in the first place?
From T.C. Russell Wilson’s new sweetie, Ciara, sang the anthem at All Star game. It was suggested that he could hand off the microphone to her.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #Caitlyn Jenner jokes, baseball jokes, betting jokes, Cubs jokes, Duggars jokes, Janice Hough, jersey jokes, NBA jokes, trade deadline jokes, Vegas jokes
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June 21, 2015
Goldman Sachs has announced that they will tell banking interns to leave the office by midnight and not return before 7 a.m., and to take Saturdays off. By high-tech startup standards that’s practically turning them into slackers.
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Dr. John Hagee, a San Antonio pastor, said there ‘there is no greater sin in terms of wrongly using God’s name than women who use it during sex. .That is one of the filthiest, most derogatory and sinful uses of the Lord’s name I can think of. If it were up to me, I would put every single woman or girl who does that in jail,’ Leaving aside the fact that he didn’t mention men, just guessing Hagee has no personal experience of a woman crying out anything while having sex with him.
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Finally, a weekend without professional basketball. Makes sense though, the NBA had to finish before Father’s Day. #somanychildrensolittletime
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Greg Oden is attempting another NBA comeback. Might be worth the risk for more than a few teams. And, hey, his health insurance will be covered by Medicare.
Have to think that non-golf fans who turned into the #USOpen2015 & heard comments about “greens” were thinking “what exactly was “green” about them?”
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Is there any stupider thing in sports for spectators to yell than “Get in the hole?” #USOpen2015
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Hard to believe, but Jordan Spieth is young enough that actually he could be Tiger Woods’ son. (He’s 21 to Tiger’s 39.) #theygrowupsofast
From T.C. “Somebody hired a plane that sported a banner “CHEATER” to follow Tiger’s group at the US Open. A fan thought he saw two blond women flying the aircraft. ”
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Judy Shalom Nir-Mozas, the of Israel’s Interior Minister tweeted an “inappropriate joke” Sunday about Barack Obama, then deleted it and apologized. One thing about social media, if you’re an idiot, instead of that knowledge being confined to your family and friends, you can tell the whole world in a matter of minutes.
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Just making it clear. I have and will continue to make posts referring to the “Charleston terrorist.” I am not going to give the SOB any more of the notoriety he clearly sought by using his given name. If we’re going to use names at all it should be the names of the victims.
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Lastly, Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Jerry Hough. He once gave me a lecture because my 2nd grade teacher said I was too quiet and never spoke up in class. Who said kids never learn from their parents?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Goldman Sachs jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, Twitter jokes, US open jokes
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June 7, 2015
Apparently many politicians in Morocco are upset after Jennifer Lopez’s televised concert from Rabat, because of her skimpy clothing and “suggestive poses” on stage. And an education group is suing the singer for “‘disturbing public order and tarnishing women’s honor and respect.” Uh, did anyone in the country ever watch J Lo before they invited her to perform?
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New 49ers’ DT Darnell Dockett, indicating he is not worried about all the SF retirements and coaching changes, tweeted “Don’t ask me about who’s retired and what’s going on with football this and that…. We will still WIN! Just watch! #savage #adversity” The 49ers will still win!? Yeah, probably at least one or two games.
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Some think we now need netting all the way around the baseball diamonds to prevent incidents like that woman being badly hurt by a broken bat at Fenway Park. But fans are injured in traffic and pedestrian accidents going to and from games all the time. And while we’re at it, what about the health risks from some of those insane ballpark foods?
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Two convicted killers escaped from a maximum security prison in upstate New York that hadn’t been breached in 150 years. So what will come first, their capture, or the made-for-TV movie?
Lindsey Graham just said “If Caitlyn Jenner wants to be a Republican, she is welcome in my party.” Some statements really don’t need a punchline.
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#HopeSolo is not exactly giving women athletes the kind of equality with male athletes they had hoped to achieve….
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SF Giants have finally been tabbed for June 21 for their first nationally televised Sunday Night Baseball game of the year on ESPN. Well, based on last year’s performance, not like the network figured fans across the U.S. would have any interest in seeing the team… #whatEastCoastbias?
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Texas just legalized carrying firearms on public university campus. As if drunken frat parties weren’t exciting enough already.
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You sort of wonder, watching Lebron James playing the Warriors pretty even so far all by himself, how did the San Antonio Spurs ever beat the Heat last year?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #CaitlynJenner jokes, baseball jokes, Hope solo jokes, Janice Hough, Jennifer Lopez jokes, NBA jokes, Texas jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
May 26, 2015
The parent company of Pizza Hut and Taco Bell says they will remove all artificial flavors and coloring from their food. What will be left?
Texas Governor Greg Abbott last month ordered the State Guard to monitor US military games In the state. So now with the horrific floods will Abbott call President Obama for FEMA, or for foreign aid?
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Apparently tickets were available for game four of the NBA Eastern Conference finals at a reasonable price since Cleveland fans didn’t seem that interested in showing up. Neither apparently did the Atlanta Hawks.
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That video of Stephen Curry’s scary fall Monday night seemed to be on an endless loop on sports shows. And watching, it’s amazing he didn’t break a wrist at least in the tumble. If he hadn’t gone into basketball Curry might have had a real future in men’s gymnastics.
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Three children were injured after a waterspout made landfall at a Fort Lauderdale beach and sent an inflatable bounce house soaring into the air.
It being Florida have to wonder how many people will try to figure out how to put bounce houses in the path of future waterspouts so they can experience flying.
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In his 2002 campaign for Senate, Jim Bob Duggar stated on his website that “rape and incest represent heinous crimes and as such should be treated as capital crimes.” Capital crimes huh? Capital punishment might result in a whole new viewing audience for their show.
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A clip has surfaced from 2008 with Josh Duggar talking about his siblings Jana and John David joining him with his girlfriend on a “double date” and laughingly adding “We are from Arkansas, no?” Once again, where are the religious small business owners refusing to bake cakes for Duggar weddings?
Phillies GM Ruben Amaro, on fans who are unhappy with the team. “They don’t understand the game….. And then they b—- and complain because we don’t have a plan. There’s a plan in place and we’re sticking with the plan. We can’t do what’s best for the fan. We have to do what’s best for the organization so the fan can reap the benefit of it later on.”
So what part of the plan involves getting a GM who understands the game?
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Two pitchers have been ejected and suspended over foreign substance on their arms in the last week. Wouldn’t it be simpler for these would-be greasers just to adopt a Brandon Crawford type hairdo? #SFGiants
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A retired Catholic bishop warned women against practicing yoga, which he said is a “pagan” exercise, and said could be “an occasion of serious sin” So maybe they should take up a wholesome exercise like pole dancing instead?
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A last post-Memorial Day thought. So many politicians, mostly non-veterans, like to talk about honoring those who made the ultimate sacrifice in war. Would take them more seriously if they honored those brave men and women by only sending more of them into combat as a last resort. #YesIamtalkingaboutyouchickenhawks
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The IRS says that hackers have accessed over 100,000 taxpayers’ old returns. But IRS Commissioner John Koskinen says “This is not a security breach. Our basic information is secure. These are criminals who had enough data to try and impersonate the taxpayer.” Orwell would be proud.
About a five hour drive from Milwaukee, where the Giants were playing tonight, to Minneapolis, where the Red Sox were playing. So did Pablo Sandoval see any of the highlight shows and wonder if he just MIGHT have been having more fun had he stayed put….?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Duggar jokes, Duggars jokes, FEMA jokes, Hawks jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, Phillies jokes, Pizza Hut jokes, Texas jokes, yoga jokes
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May 25, 2015
Despite warnings of dangerous and potentially life-threatening rip currents, 2 swimmers have died and several hundred more have needed to be rescued from Florida beaches this weekend, more than 400 in Volusia County (Daytona Beach area) alone, Darwin would be so proud.
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Just heard Mike Krukow on TV today refer to Bud Selig as a great commissioner of baseball. So guess Kruk picked up some brownies during #SFGiants’ Colorado visit?
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San Jose police arrested DE Ray McDonald, at the time a member of the Chicago Bears, on a domestic violence charge. This is turning into a twisted version of “Groundhog Day.”
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The Ray McDonald era in Chicago is over. The Bears cut him later Monday. So now the question…. which team will give him a 4th chance?
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With the most recent arrest of Ray MacDonald, former Gators’ coach Urban Meyer is really solidifying his position as leader of the all-time trouble team. #Hernandez #MacDonald #Harvin
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Horrible flooding in both Texas and Oklahoma. Forget oil.. Shouldn’t someone be able to figure out a way to build a pipeline for water to California?
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Baltimore Orioles reliever Brian Matusz was suspended 8 games today, after being caught Saturday with a sticky substance on his arm. Considering he was the 2nd pitcher caught in a week, thinking MLB should have tacked on more games for stupidity. #maybeheshouldhavetriedsomethingdifferent?
Apparently a lot of mall shoppers were upset by a black and white PacSun t-shirt displayed Monday with an upside-down U.S.flag, saying it was “disrespectful” etc. Although if you really want to honor fallen soldiers on Memorial Day, is going to the mall the best way to do it?
Basketball fans across the US hoping Stephen Curry is okay. Even in Cleveland, where they’re thinking Steph should think of his long term health, and just take about a month off. #WarriorsvsRockets
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After the first quarter #HoustonRockets were on pace for 180 in regulation tonight.
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Have to wonder how different things might be in the Western Conference NBA finals if the Houston Rockets had only called a time out at the end of game 2?
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Anyone who says baseball is slow has clearly never watched last minutes of #NBA game when fouling is a viable option. #warriorsvsrockets
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Darwin jokes, drought jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, ray mcDonald jokes, rockets jokes, SF Giants jokes, Warriors jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
May 20, 2015
The last “Late Show with David Letterman” ended Wednesday, after 33 years. The most amazing thing for the younger generation, that to watch the show you once actually had to stay up “Late Night.”
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33 years ago…. to put that in perspective, half as long as Vin Scully has been announcing.
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In 1982 the Chicago Cubs were only in a 74 year World Series drought.
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Police said they found about 1,000 weapons were found at the Twin Peaks restaurant in Waco after the shootout last weekend. Well gosh, I can certainly see why Texas lawmakers are pushing to loosen the state’s gun laws…..
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George Clooney said last night on Jimmy Kimmel that his wife Amal isn’t always happy with his style of dress – “There is that moment when I’ve worn the same T-shirt like for a week that she says, ‘Really?'” Well, okay, so he’s a bit of slob. Millions of heartbroken women can now feel they’ve dodged a bullet.
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You can’t make this stuff up. Virginia State Senate candidate Joe Morrissey, 57, denied allegations of a sexual relationship with his 17 year old secretary in 2013, but accepted a plea bargain with a six-month jail sentence on a misdemeanor charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He’s now been released, after being re-elected while in jail, and confirms he is the father of a 9-week-old baby with the young woman. (This makes four children by four different women.)
Well, give the guy credit, at least he’s not running on a family values platform.
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NY Daily News headline “Double-decker tour bus fatally slams into elderly woman in Morningside Heights” The woman was 68! 68?!!. Heck, had she been a man she’d be about the right age to play for the San Antonio Spurs. (and too young to play with the Rolling Stones.)
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The Warriors’ Stephen Curry has been fined $5,000 by the NBA for flopping last night against the Rockets. Actually, these fines aren’t for flopping…they’re just for flopping clumsily enough to get caught.
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Two New Jersey DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) have been charged with illegally moonlighting by operating a strip club on the side. Maybe they had aspirations of joining the Secret Service?
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A Norwegian Cruise Line ship that ran aground in Bermuda yesterday has been refloated back into the water. No word on what NCL might do regarding compensation for the passengers. If they were an airline they’d probably charge for an extra stop.
In the NHL, the Toronto Maple Leafs lured coach Mike Babcock away from Detroit with a 8 year, $50 million contract. It might not have just been the money. Don’t disregard not having to worry about all that stressful playoff pressure.
There may be better pitchers at #ATTPark for #SFGiants, including a World Series MVP. But will any be more loved than #TimLincecum? #Timmy
A new study shows that for the past 10 years the worst airport in the summer for on-time flight arrivals is Newark, with only 64.5% of flights arriving on schedule. On the brighter side, 35.5% of passengers thus had less time than they expected in New Jersey.
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Speculation now that the Obamas may move to New York City after they leave the White House. Though wonder if the $30 million that the Clintons have earned in the last year or so would be enough these days to buy a Manhattan apartment.
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Aaron Hernandez was apparently involved in a prison fight on Monday. So congrats to all those who had May 18 in the pool.
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Former senator John Glenn, 93, saying he believes evolution should be taught in schools. “I don’t see that I’m any less religious by the fact that I can appreciate the fact that science just records that we change with evolution and time, and that’s a fact. It doesn’t mean it’s less wondrous and it doesn’t mean that there can’t be some power greater than any of us that has been behind and is behind whatever is going.”
At 93, Glenn is better on that question than many current presidential candidates….
Thought for the night forwarded by an anonymous friend “I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself .”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Aaron Hernandez jokes, George Clooney jokes, Janice Hough, Letterman jokes, Maple Leaf jokes, Morrissey jokes, NBA jokes, Waco jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
May 17, 2015
As Jeb Bush fumbles his way around the Iraq question, have to wonder if Jimmy Carter is quietly thinking “And they said MY brother was an embarrassing liability.”
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Russian President Vladimir Putin apparently scored 8 goals while playing in an exhibition hockey game with former NHL players. Not to be outdone, Kim Jong Un reported scoring 16 goals in a game after using an anti-aircraft gun on the goalie.
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#FAOSchwarz‘s flagship store in New York is closing. For many of us, especially #TomHanks fans, that’s a #Big loss.
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American Pharoah has a misspelled name. These days does that make him truly America’s horse?
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Walt Disney World is opening an Indiana Jones Themed bar and restaurant. Not sure all the entrees, but will one of them have to be snake?
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It’s May 17. Which means we are only a month and two days away from a potential game 7 in the NBA finals No joke. #andtheysaythebaseballseasonistoolong
Happiest people besides Houston Rockets fans after the Los Angeles Clippers’ collapse in game six? Advertisers for the fourth quarter of game seven. Regardless of the score, NO ONE is going to turn the game off early.
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When asked if their hockey team could win the Stanley Cup most New Yorkers answer “Yes.” Most Floridians answer “We have a hockey team?”
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Full credit to whoever was in charge of music at Great American Ballpark last night. While the smokestack burned they played “We Didn’t Start The Fire.”
Meanwhile , so all that the #SFGiants were missing to turn into an offensive juggernaut was for someone to set a fire in the outfield?
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-A US raid has killed a major ISIS commander. Finally something the GOP won’t blame on Obama.
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Elizabeth Warren at the Anaheim Convention Center with one of the best summation of the 2016 GOP Presidential candidates: Some of them took too many rides on the tea cups across the street.
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Anti-vaccine protestors outside the California Democratic convention have a number of signs. Including one that says the Republicans are against mandatory childhood vaccinations. And a number of Democratic candidates are thinking “Can we borrow that sign?”
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The Clintons have apparently made $30 million in the last 16 months. “Slackers,” sniffed Mitt Romney.
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Some Republicans are blasting Bill and Hillary Clinton for making $30 million mostly off speeches. At least they think Chelsea will make her money the American way – by inheriting it.
From Bill Littlejohn: ” At a Connecticut golf course, a man in one group ahead brandished a gun on a second group behind who complained that they were moving too slow and demanded to play through. This gives new meaning to ‘approach shot’.”
(wonder if he was on vacation from Florida)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: American Pharoah jokes, Bush jokes, Clinton jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, SFGiants jokes, Triple Crown jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
May 11, 2015
Okay, so it’s been a few years. My son’s first Mother’s Day at Candlestick Park. #raisinghimright
Meanwhile, SF Giants fans and players would like to thank Matt Duffy for his game-winning RBI today. Because who really wanted to play 15 innings and not only be late for Mother’s Day dinner, but be at the ballpark after they’d cut off beer etc sales after seven innings…
Maybe this man really doesn’t want to be President? Jeb Bush today on Fox News said he also would have invaded Iraq in 2003, “I would have [authorized the invasion], and so would have Hillary Clinton, just to remind everybody. And so would almost everybody that was confronted with the intelligence they got,”
Isn’t Jeb Bush reminding voters that he would have authorized the Iraq invasion like Hillary Clinton reminding voters that her husband would have input into choosing interns?
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So a new DOT ruling as of last Friday allows airlines to back out of “mistake” fares, when an error in loading prices means consumers are able briefly to book tickets for a few dollars. Alas, when consumers make a mistake and book the wrong flight or date, we’re still SOL. #toerrishumantoforgiveisnotairlinepolicy
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A 13-year Harvard University study of 20,000 women found that those who drank half a bottle of wine a day had a 70 % reduced risk of obesity compared to non-drinkers. For all those who didn’t already have enough reason for a Mother’s Day toast!
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Mother’s Day in the NBA. Another reason for players to want their teams to go deep into the playoffs. Being busy eliminates those tough decisions about which of their children’s moms to take to brunch.
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SNL opening skit Saturday night focused on the GOP 2016 Presidential contenders. But really, how could SNL have the hubris to imagine they could come up with anything funnier and more absurd than the candidates themselves?
From Alex Kaseberg, “Happy Mother’s Day. May your Mother’s Day not be nearly as confusing as it is for Kylie and Kendall Jenner.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Candlestick jokes, Janice Hough, jeb bush jokes, MLB jokes, mothers day jokes, NBA jokes, playoff jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
May 4, 2015
Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. Are you taking note American celebrities? Really special babies don’t need “special” names.
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Of course, bet there are more than a few people who think the new baby Princess was named after a North Carolina airport.
Darn good thing Chelsea Clinton had her baby before Kate. Wouldn’t matter if both moms had picked the names out at conception. Many would have said the choice would just have confirmed Hillary’s delusions of being royalty.
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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers apparently wrote a clause into Jameis Winston’s rookie contract that prohibits him from playing professional baseball. Which means Jameis could still try out for the Phillies.
So an unnamed source told CBSSports.com that the NBA will probably effect a rule change that would “severely” punish teams for intentionally fouling – the “Hack a Shaq’ strategy. Right. Because why teach these prima donnas that they have to learn how to shoot a simple free throw? #callingRickBarry
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In a new book, Melissa Rivers said her mother Joan had 348 plastic surgeries. What, because 350 would have been excessive?
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“Duck Commander Musical,” based on the Duck Dynasty family, which opened in Las Vegas April 8, will close May 17. Shocking. Did anyone think before it opened about the Venn diagram of overlapping circles between fans of musicals and the anti-homosexual Robertson family?
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At least the only people who died were the wannabe terrorists, but regarding this Mohammed cartoon event in Texas. wonder what Pamela Geller would have thought about an event focused on crude cartoons of Jesus, or even say, Mapplethorpe’s crucifix in urine photo?
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The Santa Clara D.A’s office says that an investigation into the SF 49ers’ Bruce Miller allegedly pushing his girlfriend from his car proved “inconclusive,” but they have charged him with vandalism for allegedly throwing “her phone into a wall.” So Miller still has his place on the “all-arrest” team.
(or maybe this is the equivalent of arresting Al Capone for tax evasion?)
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Sorry, if you’re not smart enough to register your own domain name, you’re not smart enough to run the country.. Carlyfiorina.org
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From Alex Kaseberg for the TKO, “Following his defeat of Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather is a perfect 48-0 in fights. 55-0 in fights if you count the seven domestic violence arrests.”
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In the Texas House, Rep. Matt Schaefer put forward an amendment that would make it illegal to terminate a pregnancy after 20 weeks, even if a fetus “has a severe and irreversible abnormality.” Meaning even if it has died, a woman must carry the unborn body to term. And his rationale – suffering is “part of the human condition, since sin entered the world.”
Of course, to be fair, Schaefer himself is proof that humans can survive without a brain, or a heart.
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#SFGiants may have had box scores before in games of 2-8-4. (2 runs, 8 hits, 4 errors.) But guessing this might have been the 1st they won.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Charlotte jokes, Janice Hough, joan rivers jokes, mohammed cartoon jokes, NBA jokes, royal baby jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
April 27, 2015
Max Scherzer, who injured his thumb batting, says the NL should add the DH as “no one wants to see pitchers bat.'” And that “NFW” in a loud southern drawl you hear comes from Madison Bumgarner. #SFGiants
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If Bruce Jenner feels he has “always been a woman”, is this a small twisted revenge on all those East German Olympic women’s medal winners?
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Here we go again. In Napa, a 29-year-old high school girl’s soccer coach was arrested after a 16-year-old girl reported he propositioned her and sexted her a picture of his genitals. Leaving aside the illegality and wrongness of this, when will men learn – no one wants to see pictures of your junk.
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The Boston Celtics shuffled their lineup for Game 4 today against the Cleveland Cavaliers. Guess this is the NBA version of re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
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A British man will marry his 92-year-old fiancee on his 103th birthday June 13. Well this is one way to probably avoid the 7-year-itch.
Corinthian Colleges said it will end operations and shut down their campuses, affecting more than 16,000 U.S. students. And of course the SEC schools who never got a chance to schedule them in football.
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Sen. Ted Cruz said yesterday that “there is no room for Christians in today’s Democratic Party.” I think this is one appropriate time for the phrase “Jesus wept.”
“Why there is no satire” headline of the day- “George W. Bush Bashes Obama on Middle East.
After letting the Ottawa Senators climb back from 3-0 to 3-2, the Montreal Canadiens closed out their series by winning today’s game 2-0 behind Carey Price’s 43 saves. So the Canadiens may not be this year’s Stanley Cup champions, but at least they’re not this year’s San Jose Sharks.
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Giants and Rockies rained out in Denver. Well, at least this was one game Casey McGehee knew he wouldn’t hit into a double play.
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Although as much as I might rag on McGehee, he has the same number of home runs (1) and until today, the same slugging percentage of the man he replaced, Pablo Sandoval.
And all aboard the bus to hell driven tonight by T.C
“Billy Joel, age 65, and his pregnant girlfriend who is 34 were harassed in a New York restaurant. People were calling him a pervert and dirty old man. He said it totally ruined their 22nd anniversary.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Bruce Jenner jokes, Canadiens jokes, DH jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, sexting jokes, SF Giants jokes, Ted Cruz jokes
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April 25, 2015
Police finally trapped a coyote they had been chasing in lower-Manhattan this morning. Wonder if they lured him with an ACME sign.
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So many of the headlines on Bruce Jenner and his “I Am a Woman” comment reference him as a “reality TV star.” I guess those of us who think “Wheaties” and “Gold medal” are really old….
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So for fans of watching heads explode, can we ask all the GOP Presidential candidates what they think of Bruce Jenner coming out as a a Republican?
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Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, talking about the “coarseness:” of society, for example, “the constant use of the “F-word” – including, you know, ladies using it… If you portray it a lot, the society’s going to become that way. It’s very sad,”
Of course, Scalia probably isn’t considering how many women who use the “F-word” are using it in response to his decisions.
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NBA Commissioner Adam Silver says the league will have “full-throated conversations” about eliminating “Hack-A-Shaq’ strategy, saying it’s “not great entertainment for our fans.” Well, heck, if that was the criteria this year the NBA might have eliminated the 76ers and the Knicks.
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If Adam Silver really wants to get rid of the “Hack-A-Shaq” strategy, why doesn’t he propose locking some of these clowns in a gym with a lot of basketballs until they can learn to shoot at least 50% of their free throws?
The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are apparently paying Josh Hamilton $75 million to go away. And you thought maybe your boss didn’t like YOU?
The New York Times has reported that Russian hackers had access to President Obama’s emails after infiltrating the White House and the State Department’s unclassified computer systems last year. So does this make Hillary Clinton look like a genius?
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Mary Pat Christie, wife of the New Jersey governor, has quit her $475,000-a-year job on Wall Street, fueling speculation that Chris will announce soon that he is running for President. In the meantime, will the family join the Cruz’s on Obamacare?
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The #Astros are not off to a good start in their annual chase for #MLB‘s number one draft pick.
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Headlines now about the Google executive killed on Everest with the Nepal earthquake. Alas perhaps again illustrating the quote, especially with the U.S. media, “One death is a tragedy, one million is a statistic.”
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Apparently in China, a small turnout at a funeral indicates the deceased was not well-liked and can disgrace a family. So some familes are hiring strippers to perform at the services. Wonder how many men are reading this and thinking “hmm, time to rewrite my last wishes.”
Or as my friend Elizabeth says ” “Wonder how many more men plan to attend funerals? “Hey honey, I’d love to help around the house, but I have another funeral to attend.”
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Six players from Kansas City Royals and Chicago White Sox were suspended for their role in a serious brawl last week. On the brighter side, they’ve all been offered post-season tryouts with the Chiefs and Bears.
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There are plenty of reasons to criticize and disagree with Hlllary Clinton. But regarding her “evolution” on gay marriage, is she any different than many people? Ten years ago a Wash. Post/ABC poll found 39 percent of Americans supported same-sex marriage with 58 percent opposed. The same poll last week found 61 percent in favor, 35 percent opposed. #thetimestheyareachangin
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Bruce Jenner jokes, Christie jokes, free throw jokes, Hillary jokes, Janice Hough, Josh Hamilton jokes, NBA jokes
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April 20, 2015
Apparently in Kansas City some fans are complaining because the hot dogs on “$1 Hot Dog Night” were not exactly top quality. These are probably the same folks who complain about day-old sushi.
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Kraft Foods says they are getting rid of artificial preservatives and synthetic colors in their “Original Macaroni and Cheese” starting in January 2016. Have to wonder, without the day-glo orange color, how many kids will stop eating the stuff?
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Tim Tebow has formally signed a one-year deal with the Philadelphia Eagles. Let’s hope Tim didn’t take that “City of Brotherly Love” nickname too seriously.
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Pelicans coach Monty Williams said that the Warriors crowd noise during game one was “a little out of hand.” Did he think Golden State fans would hear this and be quieter tonight. #cantfixstupid
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The #1 NFL player as far as merchandise sales last year was Seahawks QB Russell Wilson. Wonder how many fans bought stuff to pass on?
(My friend Arne says “there was a run on his jerseys…”)
Chris Christie is against legalized marijuana and says “we have an enormous addiction problem in this country.” So is the New Jersey Governor proposing the equivalent of lap-bands for pot smokers?
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In Parma, Missouri, five out of a total of six cops resigned after the town elected a black woman mayor. So if Hillary gets elected will they turn in their citizenship?
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Former N.J. Gov and CEO of bankrupt MF Global Jon Corzine is apparently considering starting his own hedge fund. Will the firm’s logo be a fox guarding a hen coop?
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President Obama and his family took an unscheduled hike in Virginia’s Great Falls Park yesterday. Let’s see, no golf included, no Air Force One or helicopter needed…. maybe critics will go after him for bringing too much attention to the park and thus contributing to future overcrowding? #cantwin
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SF 49ers right guard Alex Boone apparently told HBO’s “Real Sports” about former coach Jim Harbaugh ” “This guy might be clinically insane.” Just wondering, what percentage of NFL coaches does Boone think aren’t?
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A recent CNN-ORC shows no clear favorite for the Republican presidential nomination. Though since the primaries are about a year away have to wonder how many Americans could name the options. #toomanyridersintheclowncar
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The SF Chronicle reports that Cal wide receivers coach and recruiting coordinator Pierre Ingram was arrested last week during a prostitution sting for allegedly soliciting an officer. Yet another ill-advised and incomplete pass for the Bears?
Jon Stewart announced that his final episode of “The Daily Show” will be August 6. Wonder how many prospective Presidential candidates have now decided to announce they are running on August 7.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Chris Christie jokes, food jokes, hot dog jokes, Janice Hough, Jon Stewart jokes, NBA jokes, New Jersey jokes, NFL jokes, Tebow jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 18, 2015
And of course two weeks into the season didn’t we all have the #SFGiants ace being #ChrisHeston?
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Is it too soon to nominate #ChrisHeston as NL Rookie of the Year? #SFGiants
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The SF Giants have placed pitcher Jake Peavy on the DL for a back strain. Wonder if Peavy strained it by turning around so often to watch where balls hit off him were going.
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Last night Pablo Sandoval “barreled” (ESPN’s word) into Baltimore 2B Jonathan Schoop trying to break up a double play. Today the O’s put Schoop on the DL with a partially torn PCL and, sprained MCL.
Panda isn’t making himself too popular with any fans wearing Orange and Black.
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Pete Rose has been hired as a guest studio analyst for Fox. No word on how much the network is paying him. Or on how much Rose made for betting someone would offer him a baseball-oriented job.
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As if we needed proof that in some parts of the US, the state bird is the football: Ohio State drew over 99,000 fans today. For a Spring intra-squad scrimmage game.
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Many celebrities today at various Earth Day rallies. Wonder how many arrived on private planes?
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Carly Fiorina is the latest “maybe” entrant in the 2016 race. “I will probably be running for president in a few short weeks.” All these indecisive people…. are they waiting to see if they can hire as a campaign manager Brett Favre?
Fiorina also says that if she gets in the race, she can block Hillary Clinton from playing the “gender card.” Alas, with her record at HP Carly can’t block Hillary from playing the “halfway competent” card.
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Rand Paul today said the GOP needs to “tax cuts to help poor people.” Sort of like fighting wars for peace?
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Kendall Schier, originally credited with being the woman winner of the this week’s St. Louis Marathon, was stripped of her victory because officials found she actually joined the race after the last checkpoint. And a new generation learns the name “Rosie Ruiz.”
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After the Wizards’ Paul Pierce said the Raptors didn’t have “it”, the Toronto fans and media have been all over him. The Sun newspaper in fact had a picture of Pierce as Gandalf, the OLD Wizard. Did the Sun forget? Gandalf knew about getting rings.
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So has #ARod really gotten his swing back? Or has he just found an undetectable PED?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Earth day jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, SF Giants jokes Carly Fiorina jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 16, 2015
Too easy but someone’s got to do it. The Apple Watch, scheduled to be in stores April 24, now won’t be there until June. Isn’t the first function of a watch to be on time?
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Chris Christie Tuesday said if elected President that he would enforce federal law against states that have legalized marijuana. “I will crack down and not permit it.” Whatever happened to small government “states’ rights” conservatism?
Guessing whatever electoral map the New Jersey Governor has in his head never included California, Washington and Colorado?
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A West Virginia woman is suing Walt Disney Corporation, claiming that the company somehow inserted a rubber chip in her body without her consent. Really, does she expect to convince a judge or jury that Disney does ANYTHING for free?
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So last year United Airlines took away free alcohol on international flights in coach Now they’re announcing that as of June 1 they’re offering free beer and wine to international economy class passengers. Kind of the airline equivalent of doubling prices before a “Buy one get one free” sale.
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Washington State Auditor Troy Kelley has been indicted on tax-evasion charges. You’d think if nothing else he’d have been smart enough not to get caught.
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So with the Warriors having the best record in the NBA, and the Spurs having the best record over the past few weeks, Vegas has of course made the favorite to win the championship – the Cavaliers. Well, makes sense, they are the closest team to the East Coast.
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Toronto-based Ashley Madison is going public but in England. Going to to be interesting to see how many people buy stock who will swear they never use the website.
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Really? Rush Limbaugh and others are attacking Hillary Clinton for not tipping at Chipotle, and for not introducing herself and mingling with other customers. So a- how many of these folks tip at fast food restaurants, and b- if she HAD gone in and started talking to customers, Clinton would have been accused of disrupting normal Americans’ lunch for a photo op. #canweactuallytalkaboutissues?
If she had left a $20 she’d have been criticized for trying to buy votes. #cantwin
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The NBA playoffs are starting. But to put in perspective how crazily long the process is, if baseball used the same format, the World Series “Fall Classic” could end in December.
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The D.A in the Aaron Hernandez case said “the fact that he was a professional athlete meant nothing in the end.”. True, but had Hernandez not been an athlete they’d have locked him up and thrown away the key a long time ago. Instead of after a months long trial with the best defense money could buy.
#BruceBochy turned 60 today. As the #SFGiants and #DBacks game goes into the 12th, right about now he’s got to be feeling 70.
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Some of the younger generation may find it hard to imagine travelling without cellphones. But just as hard to imagine now travelling with luggage without wheels.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Apple jokes, Chipotle jokes, Chris Christie jokes, Disney jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, rush limbauh jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 10, 2015
Cleveland Cavaliers’ Kendrick Perkins had a 9-step travel that the referees did not call. 9-steps?! “Amateur” sniffed Michael Jordan.
In Allen, Texas, a rancher was given a $266 citation for doing what he’s been doing for years, riding his horse to Taco Bell. Apparently it’s not allowed to ride on a public street. Now, if he’d just walked downtown carrying a couple shotguns….
Spurs beat the Rockets in Houston tonight 104-103. Are we sure that up in the rafters of the Alamodome along with all those banners there aren’t really ancient portraits of Duncan, Ginobili and Parker?
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So regarding this announcement Sunday, wouldn’t it be more of a headline if Hillary Clinton said she WASN’T running for President?
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Kentucky’s Karl-Anthony Towns may be the #1 NBA draft pick and he has said it obviously would be a little special” to play for the Knicks. Makes sense. Towns only spent one year with the Wildcats – he’d enjoy the chance to spend more years with top college-level players.
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Big news at the Masters. Tiger Woods will make the cut! (Oh, yeah, and some guy broke the 36 hole course record. Details, details….)
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Sad to hear of the passing of Richard Dysart, Leland McKenzie in LA Law. Hard as it might be to believe, for eight years there were actually lawyers you WANTED to see every week. #venusbutterfly
As the NHL regular season draws to a close, San Jose Sharks fans are asking Toronto Maple Leafs fans “So what do you do now to be disappointed during the playoffs?”
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The Grateful Dead sent a letter to their fans announcing two new concerts in June at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara on June 27 and 28. “Since we made the decision to go back to Chicago to say our final goodbye, it has become clear to us that we first need to return to our beginnings, where we first said hello — to each other and to all of you.”
Yep, talk about having million$ of rea$on$ to make thing$ clearer.
From Marc Ragovin “Troy Polamalu has retired. His final message to Steeler Nation: “I’m outta hair.”
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So on the day that it is first announced MLB is sending out “pace of game” warning to players, at the time of writing this post, the Red Sox and Yankees are heading towards 7 hours in an extra-inning game. Karma and her sister Irony are mean bitches.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: baseall jokes, Grateful dead jokes, Janice Hough, NBA jokes, Red Sox Yankees jokes, Texas jokes
Comments: 5 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 