Posted tagged ‘rockets jokes’

The name of the game?

April 27, 2016

Okay, if you had someone who had never watched baseball before  last night’s SF Giants’ 1-0 win, a Johnny Cueto complete game gem. And then they watched today’s 13-9 game…. well, it would be very hard to explain to them that it’s the same sport.

 

 

#‎NBA‬ worried about ‪#‎AllStar‬ game in ‪#‎NorthCarolina‬, but no one figured they’d need to worry about 2nd or 3rd round playoff games ‪#‎Hornets‬

#‎Rockets‬ don’t just look like they don’t belong on floor with ‪#‎Warriors‬, Houston looks like they don’t belong on floor with ‪#‎Villanova‬.

Justin Bieber picked the Cleveland Cavaliers to win the NBA title. That might be the best news the Warriors, Thunder and Spurs have heard all week.

He stays, he goes, he stays, he goes…? Apparently 49ers GM Trent Baalke still won’t rule out trading Colin Kaepernick this week. Even Brett Favre is saying, “Dudes, make up your minds.”

Emily Pitha, a fundraiser for John McCain’s Senate re-election campaign fundraiser, has been arrested in Arizona for a meth lab with LSD, cocaine, heroin, counterfeit cash and bomb-making materials. And who’d a thunk McCain would ever associate with a woman he hadn’t properly vetted.

Donald Trump  accuses Hillary of playing the “woman card.” Ted Cruz picks Carly Fiorina, thereby playing the “madwoman card.”

Dennis Hastert has been sentenced to 15 months in prison. Yep, the same former speaker who voted with the Moral Majority and co-sponsored a bill against online predators, saying “it sends a strong message to the most heinous of criminals who prey upon our children — you will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.”
I guess preying upon children at school doesn’t count?

Ted Cruz has apparently picked  Carly Fiorina as his running mate. The only person who could make Cruz look likeable by comparison?

So have to wonder, if Cruz wanted to add a woman to his proposed ticket, why not someone like Nikki Haley, who most people like and respect even if they don’t agree with her.
Hmm, of course maybe he did ask and Haley is smart enough to have said “NFW.”

Ted Cruz has picked Carly Fiorina for his running mate should he win the nomination. Hmm, wonder who Ben Stiller has picked for his speechwriter should he win an Oscar for Zoolander 2?

Ted Cruz last night, referencing Hoosiers “The amazing thing is that basketball ring here in Indiana, it’s the same height as it is in New York City and every other place in this country.”
Standby for Cruz’s next speech where he talks about getting into the boxing hoop with Donald Trump.

Dennis Hastert has been sentenced to 15 months in prison. Yep, the same former speaker who voted with the Moral Majority and co-sponsored a bill against online predators, saying “it sends a strong message to the most heinous of criminals who prey upon our children — you will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.”
I guess preying upon children at school doesn’t count?

 

 

 

 

No sharks needed.

May 25, 2015

Despite warnings of dangerous and potentially life-threatening rip currents, 2 swimmers have died and several hundred more have needed to be rescued from Florida beaches this weekend, more than 400 in Volusia County (Daytona Beach area) alone, Darwin would be so proud.

Just heard Mike Krukow on TV today refer to Bud Selig as a great commissioner of baseball.  So guess Kruk picked up some brownies during ‪#‎SFGiants‬’  Colorado visit?

 

San Jose police arrested DE Ray McDonald, at the time a member of the Chicago Bears, on a domestic violence charge. This is turning into a twisted version of “Groundhog Day.”

The Ray McDonald era in Chicago is over. The Bears cut him later Monday. So now the question…. which team will give him a 4th chance?

With the most recent arrest of Ray MacDonald, former Gators’ coach Urban Meyer is really solidifying his position as leader of the all-time trouble team. ‪#‎Hernandez‬ ‪#‎MacDonald‬ ‪#‎Harvin‬

 

 

Horrible flooding in both Texas and Oklahoma. Forget oil.. Shouldn’t someone be able to figure out a way to build a pipeline for water to California?

Baltimore Orioles reliever Brian Matusz was suspended 8 games today, after being caught Saturday with a sticky substance on his arm. Considering he was the 2nd pitcher caught in a week, thinking MLB should have tacked on more games for stupidity. ‪#‎maybeheshouldhavetriedsomethingdifferent‬?

 

 

Apparently a lot of mall shoppers were upset by a black and white PacSun t-shirt displayed Monday with an upside-down U.S.flag, saying it was “disrespectful” etc. Although if you really want to honor fallen soldiers on Memorial Day, is going to the mall the best way to do it?

 

Basketball fans across the US hoping Stephen Curry is okay. Even in Cleveland, where they’re thinking Steph should think of his long term health, and just take about a month off. ‪#‎WarriorsvsRockets‬

After the first quarter ‪#‎HoustonRockets‬ were on pace for 180 in regulation tonight.

Have to wonder how different things might be in the Western Conference NBA finals if the Houston Rockets had only called a time out at the end of game 2?

Anyone who says baseball is slow has clearly never watched last minutes of ‪#‎NBA‬ game when fouling is a viable option. ‪#‎warriorsvsrockets‬