Posted tagged ‘Janice Hough’

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

And then there were nine.

October 6, 2015

As pundits begin to opine on 2015 ‪#‎MLBPostseason‬, remember, there were 10 teams in the playoffs last year. The #10 seed was the ‪#‎SFGiants‬

–

The Yankees may be out of the playoffs, but they did accomplished something amazing this postseason: Got California sports fans rooting for a team from Texas. ‪#‎Astros‬ ‪

–

The Royals are good, the Blue Jays might be better. But today got to love this quote from when Astros’ GM Jeff Luhnow hired Stanford grad A.J. Hinch to manage the team, on Sept 29, 2014 “I think A.J. is going to be the manager that’s going to be here when we win the World Series.”

–

Jeff Passan tweeted “Yankees’ opening day payroll: $219,282,196, highest in the AL. Astros’ opening day payroll: $70,910,100, lowest in the AL.”

Well, hey, at least the Yankees will be able to afford those last minute October vacations.

–

DraftKings pulled its advertising from ESPN today after questions arose about possible insider trading at the company. Fantasy football could be fixed? It’s enough to make you long for the purity of pro wrestling.

–

I think I would have liked her. An 85 year old woman who passed away in NJ had the following obit in a local paper
“Devoted wife, mother, and grandmother, and lifelong Yankees fan Helen (Emanuel) Fowler, 85, passed away on Sept. 29, 2015, at the Chelsea in Fanwood, N.J. Mrs. Fowler was a former member of the Cranford First Aid Squad and a lifelong Yankees fan, with the exception of Alex Rodriguez.”

–

The NY Mets’ Matt Harvey, who talked about shutting it down this season to save his arm, today missed a mandatory team workout. Is Harvey trying to show he’s a big enough prima donna to compete with players in the NFL?

–

Many gun rights legislators like to point out that cars can be dangerous too. And then presuming they have insurance and a driver’s license, they get into their air-bag equipped cars, fasten their seat belts and drive the speed limit to vote against gun control.

–

“Community College of Philadelphia on lockdown after gun report.” Police have arrested a suspect and no one was actually shot this time. But this is getting to be way too much of a “fill-in-the-name-of-the-school” headline.

–

So I sometimes wonder, if natural disasters in Blue states are God’s wrath against immoral behavior, what are natural disasters in Red states? Thanks Michele Bachmann for clearing this up in a tweet today about the flooding in the South: “US turns its back on Israel, disasters following” ‪#‎NottheOnion‬

–

So can we rename referees in Seattle the 13th man? ‪#‎Seahawks ‬‪#‎Lions‬

–
In 2013, Senator Lindsey Graham voted against a federal bailout of NJ after Hurricane Sandy. So of course he would never dream of asking for federal emergency relief after Hurricane Joaquin hit South Carolina. Oops, wait….never mind. (He did say state officials would be “judicious” with the money. ‪#‎hypocrite‬)

Guess Ben Carson is bound and determined not to concede any of the crazy vote to Donald Trump. And he said it YESTERDAY. “I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away.”

–

Ben Carson now saying, had he been in Oregon, he would have attacked the shooter. And the rest of the GOP field would no doubt today be eulogizing him.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

Washed away

October 5, 2015

Oops. With “biblical” flooding in South Carolina, NBC’s weatherman Al Roker has now apologized for tweeting a selfie with him and his crew standing besides a flooded car. Guess it’s not just teenage girls who smartphones can make stupid.

–

The Supreme Court today denied to hear San Jose’s claim that MLB has illegally blocked the A’s attempt to move to the South Bay. Maybe the city would have done better if they framed the case as an issue of religious freedom. ‪#‎ibelieveinthechurchofbaseball‬

–

The CEO of Alaska said the airline lost his checked bag. And over at United they’re thinking “”For the first time? Amateurs.”

–

Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia has checked himself into alcohol rehab. Shocking. Not that an athlete goes to rehab, but he does it without being arrested first.

–

After the Saints OT win yesterday, Texas governor Greg Abbott said the Cowboys’ defense was “more porous than the Texas border.” Surprised he didn’t blame Obama.

–

Well, we now have the answer to the question – How are the ‪#‎Lions‬ going to screw up their chance to win tonight? ‪#‎MNF‬ ‪#‎DETvsSEA‬

–

So in close games in the 4th quarter should referees at CenturyLink Field just go ahead & put ‪#‎Seahawks‬ logo on their uniforms? ‪#‎DETvsSEA‬

–

American Apparel has filed for bankruptcy. American Apparel is still in business?

–

In Tennessee last Saturday, an 11-year-old boy shot and killed an 8-year-old neighbor when the girl wouldn’t let him play with her puppy. ‪#‎Ifonlyshewerearmed‬

–

So just wondering ,how long until even atheists in SF start calling for ‪#‎Tebow‬? ‪#‎SF49ers‬

–

Louisville men’s basketball coach Rick Pitino, doubling down on his denials of being aware of a former director of basketball operations paying escorts to have sex with players and recruits – “Not myself, not one player, not one trainer, not one assistant, not one person knew anything about any of this. If anyone did, it would have been stopped on a dime. Not one person knew anything about it.”

Not ONE person? Again I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

–

Edward Snowden now is telling the BBC that he’d “volunteered to go to prison with the government many times,” if he returns to the US but had not received a formal plea-deal offer. Guess it says something about life in Russia these days if an American jail is more appealing.

–

Last week it came out that the Libertarian candidate for Senate in Florida had sacrificed a goat, now he also admits that in a pagan ritual he drank its blood. Where are the defenders of religious freedom on this one?

–

From Marc Ragovin –  “After only four games, the Miami Dolphins have axed head coach Bill Philbin. I guess Philbin now sleeps with the fishes.”

–

And guest driving on the bus to hell, T.C.  “Who knew that CC Sabathia was really CC & Seven Sabathia?”

An American Airlines pilot died last night in the cockpit of a red-eye flight to Boston. You know you’re on the bus to hell when the first thing you think of is “Airplane” jokes.

–

Serious thought for a change:

Jerry Brown, a former Jesuit seminarian, signed a bill in California today to allow terminally ill people to end their lives. The Catholic church opposes the bill, and the Governor said did not know what he would do if he were dying and in pain.
“But,I am certain, however, that it would be a comfort to be able to consider the options afforded by this bill. And I wouldn’t deny that right to others.”

Sometimes I think it’s a real shame Moonbeam is too old to run for President.

Categories: airline jokes, As jokes, baseball jokes, cellphone jokes, pitino jokes, snowden jokes, Supreme court jokes, texas jokes
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

A farewell to arms

October 4, 2015

Giants left-handed reliever Jeremy Affeldt gave a great emotional retirement speech at AT&T Park today. And amazingly he didn’t injure himself doing it.

–

Ichiro Suzuki pitched an inning during the Marlins final game of 2015, a 7-2 loss to the Phillies. He faced 5 batters, and gave up one earned run. After the game, Philadelphia reportedly offered him a chance to try out for their bullpen.

 –

Another thought about that Philadelphia loss to Washington today: Help could be available – tanned, rested and ready – Tim Tebow.

–

The award for interesting sense of proportion for the day goes to the Bears’ Martellus Bennett, asked after Chicago’s first win “Is Jay Cutler too often criticized?” His response “They threw rocks at Jesus, & Jesus was an excellent guy who did a lot of awesome stuff.”caped up pretty hard for him after the game.”

–

Probably not their year, but the Saints are probably the happiest 1-3 team in the NFL tonight.
 –
If there’s a twisted silver lining to today’s game and 9th inning meltdown, at least ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans didn’t have to watch it happen in a one-game postseason playoff

(Should have let ‪#‎Affeldt‬ close. ‪#SFGiants)

–

The Red Sox have let strength and conditioning coach Pat Sandora go after four seasons. Who says Pandas aren’t dangerous?

.-

Meanwhile the Redskins and Bears both won.  Hope this is not a sign of the apocalypse. ‪#‎IblameObama‬
–
In London, the Jets and Dolphins both had double-digit penalties, And Ndamukong Suh was caught on video today kicking Jets’ QB Ryan Fitzpatrick in the head. Is this part of the NFL’s mission to make Brits feel better about their soccer hooligans?
–
Clay Matthews taunted Colin Kaepernick: “You ain’t Russell Wilson, bro.” Well to be fair, so far this year, even Russell Wilson ain’t Russell Wilson.
–
#‎Stanford‬ and ‪#‎Michigan‬. “I’ll take two college football teams that look a lot better than we thought they were after the first week, Alex”
–

Jeb Bush’s Presidential campaign is going so badly, they are thinking of bringing his brother George W. to help. Some statements don’t even need a punchline. ‪#‎nottheOnion‬

 –

New Mexico Secretary of State Dianna K. Duran is now facing 65 corruption charges including identity theft. She allegedly used her election fund for many personal uses, including jewelry purchases and casino visits. As Secretary of State Duran oversees campaign finance reporting…. ‪#‎youcannotmakethisstuffup‬

–

Utah Rep.Jason Chaffetz has announced he would like to succeed House Speaker John Boehner. Chaffetz is mostly known now for going after Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards in her testimony before Congress. Makes sense, to lead today’s GOP you’ve got to show you can “Get Tough on Women.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: 5 Comments

Breaking up isn’t that hard to do.

October 4, 2015

The Steelers have just signed Chris Boswell, their fourth placekicker of the season. These relationships are so short-lived that Taylor Swift may be writing songs about them

–

A downtown Orlando bar is giving away free beer during UCF (University of Central Florida) games until the Golden Knights actually win a football game. Of course there is a hidden cost… actually having to watch UCF football games.

–

Regarding that “free beer until a win” offer. Pretty sure that offer won’t be repeated on NFL Sundays in Chicago.

–

Four teams in college football’s top ten lost today, and the top two, Ohio State and Michigan State, barely on.  The last time so many of the highly ranked fell like this,  the GOP presidential debates were involved.

–

Some sentences can not possibly be topped with a punchline. “The chairman of Florida’s Libertarian Party has resigned in protest of the party’s candidate for U.S. Senate who he said dismembered a goat as part of a cult ritual.”
‪#‎Floridaforthewin‬

–

Taylor Swift gave a shout-out to the Blue Jays during her concert last night in Toronto. And no doubt Kanye West immediately posted that the Dodgers were better.

–

Okay, since the Oregon shooter apparently shot Christians in the head, some are already labeling the killings religious persecution. The same folks are conveniently forgetting the shooter also labeled himself a conservative Republican. ‪#‎hewasacrazyasshole‬. Period.

UCLA’s kicker just hit a 53 yard field goal as time expired in the first half. He immediately got a call from the Pittsburgh Steelers.

–

Mean bitch Karma apparently doesn’t like taunting. After the Longhorns’ latest drubbing this morning, the Texas Rangers tweeted “Fire Charlie. ‪#‎bye‬” (in reference to Texas coach Charlie Strong.)
And then the Rangers, who were about to clinch the division, blew a 4 run lead in the 9th to lose 11-10 to the Angels.

–

35 points scored in the 3rd quarter. 21 for the Cardinal, 14 for Wildcats. When did Stanford and Arizona start playing arena football?

–

Rough week for some fans in Texas. Bad news that SMU’s men’s basketball team has been put on probation. Worse news that the University of Texas’s football team wasn’t.

–

11-15 inches of rain this weekend in some East Coast states. And out in California they’re just sobbing.

–

On ESPN, Joey Galloway, a former Ohio State and NFL WR argued against a player sitting out the season to save his health for the draft, and compared it to telling someone not to drive a car because of the risk of an accident. But did say the danger with a car is “you’ve got women driving.”
Is it too late to check Galloway for concussions? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

(and no, as a certified bus-to-hell substitute driver, it’s not the joke, or even being un-PC, it’s the being on a major network and cheerfully telling the un-PC joke in public.)

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

Not in our pool?

October 1, 2015

The Houston Astros control their own playoff destiny this weekend in Arizona. So what are the D’backs doing about it – putting a shark in the pool?

–

On a lighter note, former SF Giants catcher and current Dbacks announcer Bob Brenly apparently had a good time with a sorority group taking nonstop selfies at last night’s game -“Better angle—that’s the best out of the 300 I’ve taken today—welcome to parenting 2015—oh wait, let me take a selfie with the hot dog…” I miss Brenly.

–

Apple watches are so far under-performing the company’s expectations. Makes some sense, the demographic that is old enough to think they need to wear a watch, is too old to figure out how to use the damn Apple things.

–

A new study says that “phubbing – (phone snubbing) a significant other frequently can damage romantic relationships and increase depression. Wonder how many people told their partners this and got “Honey, what did you say? I was answering a text.”

–

Jeremy ‪#‎Affeldt‬ says he will retire at end of season’s end. Guess he wants to spend more time getting injured with his family ‪#‎SFGiants‬

–

Staples says that they are going to resist the trend of opening on Thanksgiving and will remained closed this year on the holiday. Good of them. But really, who wakes up in the morning and says “Ooh, let’s go shopping for office supplies”?

–

Five-star forward Wenyen Gabriel announced today he is committing to Kentucky for basketball. Good news for John Calipari. But can we stop referring to them as “recruiting classes.” Nothing about Calipari’s recruiting is about classes..

–

The NCAA found that guard Keith Frazier passed an online course to meet NCAA initial eligibility standards and be admitted to the university, but that an admin had logged in as him and completed all the work. Frazier told ESPN “I didn’t even know what was going on. I didn’t know she was doing that class for me.I wasn’t aware of that.”
He might be telling the truth – “You mean I had course work?”

–

John Boehner has started damage control after Kevin McCarthy intimated that the Benghazi hearings were politically motivated. And I’ll bet the speaker is gleefully thinking “30 more days, 30 more days…..”

–

Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear is describing county clerk Kim Davis’ reasons for not granting marriage licenses to gay couples as ‘absurd’ and ‘obtuse.: Wonder how many critics are complaining about Beshear using foreign words.

–

From Bill Littlejohn: “September was the NFL’s first no-arrest month in six years.Except for the 49ers Super Bowl chances going into cardiac arrest.”

–

The ‪#‎Oregon‬ shooter was a 20 something white male. Surprisingly, alas, almost no one.  –

Maybe the law change we really need to make to reduce mass shootings in this country is to make it illegal for any man under 30 to own more than a single-shot hunting rifle.

–

It’s seriously a real shame that the serious mental health issues weren’t a major worry when the U.S. was founded. Because had something been put in an amendment, just MAYBE the GOP would be as fervent about mental health rights as they are about gun rights. Well, we can dream anyway.

–

Too many questions and too much we don’t know about today’s shooting in Oregon. One question for those who support gun rights: Okay,I get your right to hunt and to protect yourself. But how in the world does that necessitate having an assault weapon?

–

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Winners, eh?

September 30, 2015

Congrats to the Toronto ‪Blue Jays for winning AL East. Stand by for ‪#‎Trump‬ to complain about immigrants taking more from Americans.

–

Hurricane Joaquin could strengthen and hit the U.S. East Coast this weekend. If so, who will be the first GOP governor who rails against the federal government to ask Obama for aid.

–

The story out of Washington is the Nationals are absolutely done with Jonathan Papelbon after this season. Too soon to start a pool what what team is crazy enough to take him?
–
New MLB commissioner Rob Manfred wants to speed up games even more, with rule changes like limiting pitching changes and trips to the mound, or requiring each pitcher to face multiple batters. Well, he could leave the game alone and just cut out a minute of commercials between innings.
–
–
But okay, limiting trips to the mound.  Should we start letting pitchers communicate with coaches and teammates by text?
 –
 –
Think if ‪MLB‬ knew there might be 2 ‪NY‬ teams & 2 ‪LA‬ teams in playoffs maybe games would be on network TV?   ‪#‎dodgers‬ ‪#‎mets‬ ‪#‎angels‬ ‪#‎yankees

–

Again, who says I never post anything nice about the Dodgers? This was a classy quote from Adrian Gonzalez “I want first off to tip my cap to the Giants,” he said. “They had a ton of injuries. I know they won’t make that excuse for themselves, but they battled, they played hard all year and they’re a great team.”

And Clayton Kershaw had a great game last night.

Okay, being nice is over. Go Mets.

–

#‎Dodgers‬ now have won the West 3 times in the last 5 years to the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ 2 titles. ‪#‎Giants‬ fans can deal with it. ‪#‎Wegotrings‬

 –

The Angels, fighting for a playoff spot, gave a “tip of the hat” in their media game notes to Barry Zito, for making what would probably be his last major league start tonight. They were really hoping to give Zito an ovation if he lasts as long as he did in his penultimate start against the Giants- – 2 innings.

–

Jud McMillin, a “family values” Indiana lawmaker resigned over explicit sex videos that were reportedly found on his phone. McMillin is a married father-of-four, who now says he “wants to spend more time with his family.” Thinking at this point there’s a good chance that his family may not want to spend more time with him.

–

More from McMillin. He had sent a text message last week. “My phone was stolen in Canada and out of my control for about 24 hours. I have just been able to reactivate it under my control. Please disregard any messages you received recently. I am truly sorry for anything offensive you may have received.”

I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

–

The NY Times Square Task Force has decided to let topless painted women stay, but also to more than double the police force in the area from 46 to 107. So a win-win, more tourist dollars AND job creation?

–

Jeb Bush just said that he didn’t think the Washington Redskins should change their name. Well, if anyone is likely to be clueless on how many Americans might find a name offensive, it’s a Bush.

–

Who says there’s no such thing as an honest politician. Potential House Speaker Kevin McCarthy: “Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi special committee. A select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping. Why? Because she’s untrustable. But no one would have known that any of that had happened had we not fought to make that happen.”
Isn’t it nice to know we’ve spent years and $4.5 million of taxpayer money for the House to do their job of being GOP political consultants?

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Swimming time?

September 29, 2015

The Dodgers complained that when they clinched in Arizona the Diamondbacks got upset when players jumped in the pool to celebrate. But the Giants are classier than that. Heard SF told LA if they clinched at AT&T Park, the entire Dodgers team was invited to jump into McCovey Cove.

–

Well, to be fair, this has been largely a AAA lineup lately for the ‪#‎SFGiants‬. And tonight looked like regressing to the mean.

–

Think what angered ‪#‎Madbum‬ most, those last two home runs given up meant he didn’t get another AB against ‪#‎Kershaw‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

–

Last week, Donald Trump said he was boycotting Fox News. Tonight, he’s appearing on the O’Reilly Factor. Guess even the Donald knows there’s no such thing as bad (free) publicity.

–

A body was found wrapped in a plastic sheet on an Oakland street today. People say they have not determined a cause of death. Pretty sure we can rule out suicide. ‪#‎bustohell‬

–

Four MLB games tonight delayed or postponed due to rain. Well, cheer up baseball fans, due to the late start of the season to humor ESPN, maybe for this year’s World Series we could have games delayed by snow.

–

WTF? Jeb Bush says his tax plan will save middle-class Americans $2,000 a year, and “if a family were to invest the $2,000 they would save annually over a 20-year period and at compounded interest rate of 8%, they would accumulate a nest egg of $108,000 to help better prepare them for a comfortable retirement.”

8% compounded interest rate? Maybe Jeb hasn’t actually stopped smoking marijuana. ‪#‎andhessupposedtobethesmartone‬

–

More Jeb Bush, writing in USA today on his proposed $2,000 tax cut for the middle class: “Two thousand dollars is four mortgage payments for the median American household.” ‪#‎Yeshesaidit‬

–

QB Michael Vick, on starting Thursday in place of injured Ben Rothlisberger “This is a great opportunity for me because I don’t know if I’m going to have this opportunity ever again. ” Well, at least Vick didn’t say he felt like he was on a short leash.

–

Twitter is apparently working on a way for users to compose Tweets of longer than 140 characters. Joe Biden reportedly has just activated his account.

–

Carly Fiorina is already attacking the “liberal media” for accusing her of lying about Planned Parenthood and talking about an image that did not exist – “They’re trying to have a conversation about a TECHNICALITY (caps mine) about a video tape.”
Sarah Palin must be so proud. (Although she’s thinking, Carly, it’s “lamestream media.” )

–

A data scientist says he has found proof that Ashley Madison created 40,000 fake women’s profiles to get users into joining and paying for its website. And thousands of guys are now trying to convince their wives they faked men’s profiles too.

–

SMU’s men’s basketball team has been declared ineligible for the 2016 postseason and coach Larry Brown has been suspended 9 games for “multiple violations.” What’s Brown trying to prove at this point, that he can compete with John Calipari? .

–

Utah Rep Jason Chaffetz today went after Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards about her $500,000 salary. Funny, never heard him complain about the $174,000 salary plus travel and other expenses that members of Congress get, or that $21 million (plus $19 million in stock) golden parachute Carly Fiorina got from HP.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Comments: 2 Comments

The horror.

September 28, 2015

Facebook was down for about an hour Monday. The horror. Millions of Americans were forced actually to work.

–

Washington suspended Jonathan Papelbon 4 games for choking teammate Bryce Harper, and Papelbon accepted MLB’s 3 game suspension for throwing at Manny Machado, so the closer’s season is over. Of course, so was the Nationals’ the day they traded for him.

–

Who knew that Papelbon-Harper would turn out to be far more riveting than Mayweather-Pacquiao?

–

People Magazine is reporting Kris Jenner saying about Caitlyn Jenner “I wish I’d never met this man.” Funny, that’s what millions of Americans are saying about meeting Kris’s entire family.

–

The Washington Nationals pulled Papelbon’s jersey from their stadium shop today. Guessing kids in Africa may have a choice between them and more than a few overstocked Sandoval Red Sox jerseys.

(although the Sandoval jerseys have the added advantage of doubling as tents.)

–

It’s not even October 1. Anyone but me already tired of ‪#‎Pumpkin‬?

–

Hillary Clinton, asked today if she’s”a Pumpkin Spice Latte kind of gal.” “Ha! The true answer is I used to be until I saw how many calories are in them”
Waiting for the GOP to condemn her for an elitist act like reading.

–

With all this talk about the ‪#‎Bloodmoon‬ it’s amazing Donald ‪#‎Trump‬ didn’t use the occasion once again to trash talk ‪#‎megynkelly‬

–

Former Australian rugby league player Jarryd Hayne had a 37 yd punt return for SF yesterday in their 47-7 loss against Arizona. Shocking. The 49ers actually got the Cardinals to punt?

–

Last weekend George Zimmerman retweeted a graphic photo of Trayvon Martin’s corpse sent to him by an admirer who called Zimmerman “a one man army.” Can’t we figure out a way for George to get in an argument with dentist Walter Palmer?

–

An Arizona woman says she found a 26-pound bundle of marijuana that had fallen from a drug smuggler’s plane into her dog house. And a whole lot of people serving time now are going “Why didn’t I think of that?”

–

Two Ohio alleged bank robbers were arrested after they posted selfies with money on Facebook. Your move, Florida. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

–

Another Arizona woman tried to fake an armed robbery by calling 911 to say she had been attacked and stabbed in her restaurant parking lot. She just didn’t notice the police car parked within sight. They arrested her and found the money in her car. ‪#‎morecompetitionforFlorida‬ ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

–

The Missouri Attorney General said his office has concluded an investigation and “the evidence reviewed supports Planned Parenthood’s representation that fetal tissue is handled in accordance with Missouri law.”
Waiting for the first GOP candidate to say “well what does an attorney general know about law?”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

Choked up?

September 27, 2015

Hundreds of thousands people apparently showed up today in Philadelphia to see the Pope. It being Philly, you have to wonder how many who showed up to see Francis actually booed him.

–

Of course, the Pope is not a stupid man. He picked a time of year to visit Philadelphia when there was zero chance of snowballs.

–

So ‪#‎Papelbon‬ is looking like he’s through with the ‪#‎Nationals‬. Is the closer trying to earn a tryout with the ‪#‎Redskins‬ defense?

–

Although I suppose it could be said that by putting his hands on Harper’s neck,  Papelbon was just trying to do to Bryce what the Nats have done on the field since he arrived.

–

Colts‬ fans hoped their team would “Suck for Luck.” Time for ‪#‎49ers‬ fans to hope team will “Slack off for Goff? ‪

 –
Every time I hear Hillary Clinton talk about the email issues, just wonder why she didn’t come out and say “Look, you really think I understood any of this stuff at first? When it comes to computers my basic reaction has been ‘Does it turn on, can I log in?”
Thinking she’d have gotten a lot more sympathy from those of us whose kids roll their eyes at our ineptitude with technology. And from the younger generation who laughs at their parents.
–
Barry Zito, 37, and Tim Hudson, 40, were both given ovations in their short starts yesterday. “Well deserved for two nice young men” said Jamie Moyer.
–
Mark Zuckerberg at the UN said that expanding internet access to global communities could help ‘lift them out of poverty.” Possibly, although here in the U.S. internet access can keep people too busy playing games to find a job.
–
Congress is going to be a different place without John Boehner in November. For starters, the Kleenex consumption in the House will go way down ‪#‎nomoretears‬
–
A poll of Republicans at the Voting Values Summit said they preferred a Ted Cruz-Ben Carson ticket in 2016. Funny enough, a lot of Democrats would be happy if the GOP ran that ticket too.

–

So with the latest college football rankings, the highest ranked 1 loss team (at #13) is Alabama. “I’m shocked,” said nobody

–

Ben Carson now says that many immigrants sneaking across the Mexico border “are hardened criminals’’ not from Latin America but from Iraq, Somalia and Russia. USA Today, however, reports that DHS said in 2013, nearly 93% caught at the border came from Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras or El Salvador.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I always thought you needed math to get into med school.

–

#‎SFGiants‬ now have about a .01% chance of making the post season this year. So approximately the same chance as the ‪#‎SF49ers‬

–

Ted Cruz today made a rousing speech to a conservative group promising to end the “persecution of religious liberty.” Uh, Senator Cruz, to paraphrase Inigo Montoya “I do not think this phrase means what you think it means.”

–

From T.C.   “Martin Shkreli, the CEO of a pharmaceutical firm raised the price of a prescription drug from $13.50 to $750. In related news, Whole Foods said they may be interested in hiring him.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

If he can make it there, he’ll make it anywhere?

September 25, 2015

The Pope celebrated Mass at Madison Square Garden. And possibly broke the record for the most people praying in that august arena, previously set by the Knicks.

–

So what kind of a world do we live in when John Boehner is too moderate to lead Congress?

–

Not questioning John Boehner’s decision to resign. But wouldn’t you think as a good Catholic the Speaker would have picked a day to do it where he didn’t take headlines from the Pope?

–

A man was arrested after he stole a lottery ticket dispenser at 1a and later that morning tried to cash one of the tickets at the SAME STORE. — Do I even need to stay this was Florida?

–

Jeb Bush yesterday talking about African-Americans to a Republican group. “Our message is one of hope and aspiration. It isn’t one of division and ‘Get in line and we’ll take care of you with free stuff.” So Jeb said it because that message worked so well for Mitt Romney .

–

Jeb Bush says Pope Francis shouldn’t be talking about fighting climate change he “is not a scientist, he’s a religious leader.” Fine, so can we await Jeb’s statement that he and other candidates shouldn’t talk about climate change and other scientific issues because they are political leaders?

–

So in the NY Giants finally won their first game of the season Thursday night. Who says no good ever comes from dealings with Washington?

–

October will be “Breast Cancer Awareness” month. Wouldn’t it be nice if the only cancerous boob we worried about getting rid of was Ted Cruz?

–

Already seeing some conservative media criticism over Michelle Obama’s wearing a $2,300 dress to meet the Pope, who has spoken against materialism. Right. And had she shown up in a $23 Target dress it would have been criticized as showing a lack of respect. ‪#‎cantwin‬

–

17 second stare down between umpire Joe West & ‪#‎MadBum‬ during Thursday night’s Padres-Giants game.   Don’t blame West. After all 31,000 paid their way in to see him call balls & strikes.

–

Paul Pierce, about to start his 18th season in the NBA, says he will probably retire if the Clippers win the championship. So wonder where Pierce hopes to play in 2016-17?

–

Pete Rose met with Rob Manfred yesterday and the MLB commissioner reportedly told baseball’s all-time hits leader he will make a decision on reinstatement by the end of the year. Hope Rose didn’t ask “Can you give me odds on that?”

–

A baby boy was born at Petco Field during the third inning of Thursday night’s Padres-Giants game. This would never have happened in Los Angeles, in the third inning Dodgers fans are still in the car on the way to the stadium.

–

Donald Trump said at the Value Voters Summit “I brought my Bible. You know, it’s the First Presbyterian Church, Jamaica (Queens) and this was written by my mother, with my name, with my address, with everything.”
He didn’t add, “and maybe someday I’ll read beyond the inscription.”

Former Astros star Lance Berkman in a radio ad against the “Houston Equal Rights Ordinance,” which provides protection for LGBTs. “I played professional baseball for 15 years, but family is more important. My wife and I have four daughters. Proposition 1, the bathroom ordinance, would allow troubled men to enter women’s public bathrooms, showers and locker rooms….”
Right, as opposed to fine upstanding heterosexual men like Ben Rothlisberger?

–

Kim Davis announced she is becoming a Republican. “I’ve always been a Democrat, but the party left me.” And Democrats are thinking “Not only left but shut the door and changed the locks. Amen.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

Flowing robes.

September 24, 2015

Pope-mania has really taken hold in the U.S. Nice to see the country so excited about an older person in a skirt who isn’t Caitlyn Jenner.

–

Pope Francis’s visit and the resulting security has meant many businesses just closing for a few days. Waiting for the first GOP candidate to complain about another immigrant hurting American jobs.

–

The original CSI is finally coming to an end Sunday with a 2 hour finale, after 15 years. Guess they didn’t wanted to change the title to “CSI – Assisted Living.”

After Elton John was pranked earlier this month he now got a REAL call from the Russian President. Have to wonder if the singer’s initial response this time was. “Are you Putin me on?”

–

The NBA has promised that for next year’s Finals, they will mandate at least two days between games any time teams have to change cities. So expect the 2016 champion to be crowned about the 4th of July.

They’re expecting gridlock in Manhattan because of the Pope’s visit. Or as New Yorkers call it, Friday.

–

Supreme Court judges Scalia, Alito and Thomas skipped the Pope’s address to Congress. Well, it’s not like they are Catholic or anything. Oops, never mind….

–

Tom Brady’s jersey is the number one seller in the NFL this year. That’s really going to inflate his ego.

–

For the first time in a decade, the number of children in foster care in the U.S has risen, and is now over 415,000. You’d think maybe just a few of these “pro-life” types would spend time and money on trying to help them….

Republicans are so sure they will hold Congress and win the White House in 2016, wouldn’t you think that they’d maybe ease up on this minority-shutting-down-the-government concept, so as not to give Democrats ideas?

–

In Texas, with the case where two football players attacked a referee, the University Interscholastic League, which is in charge of high school sports, says they are not making any decisions about punishments at least until they can hold another hearing next month.

Sounds like they learned their concept of swift justice from the NFL.

–

Bill Littlejohn.  “An extra point kicked by Midland Lee High School (TX) bounced off of a referee’s head and went through the uprights.  So was the ref any relation to Jose Canseco?”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Artificial intelligence.

September 23, 2015

Martin Shkreli, who announced plans to raise the price of an AIDS drug from $13,50 to $750 a pill, is CEO of Turing Technologies.  Not sure how he named the company, but oddly enough, the “Turing test” is a test of a machine’s ability to exhibit intelligent behavior equivalent to, or indistinguishable from, that of a human.

Shkreli failed.

–

The CEO of Volkswagen has resigned. Guessing soon he’ll have the rare opportunity to be making license plates for his own cars.

–

A DC man has started a Change.org petition “Dear Pope Francis. Our Metro system is having some troubles. All of DC would be grateful if you could find the time to bless it during your upcoming stay. Maybe a Papal Blessing is just what it needs.”

Hmm, any chance he could also have the Pope bless Congress?

–

The Blue Jays won tonight to push their AL East lead over the Yankees to 3.5 game. So how long until some GOP candidate blames a potential Toronto win on Obama’s failure to maintain American supremacy?

–

Anne Hathaway says now that it was hard to be taken seriously as an actress after “The Princess Diaries.” Just thinking she’s not going to get too much sympathy from her co-star Julie Andrews.

–

Donald Trump says Fox News has been treating him “very unfairly”, and he’s done appearing on Fox News shows for the “foreseeable future.” Well, to be fair, the Donald is really a better fit for Comedy Central.

–

Mike Huckabee said today that President Obama is just “pretending to be a Christian. I’m thinking at this point that Huckabee is just pretending to be a plausible human being.

–

Now it’s ‪#‎Adrianza‬ who joins ‪#‎Belt‬ and ‪#‎Aoki‬ on the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ concussion list. Who expected ‪#‎Giants‬ to have more concussions than ‪#‎49ers‬?

–

Well, at this point if the ‪#‎SFGIants‬ ended up in the post season they probably couldn’t field a healthy 25 man roster.

–

The SF Chronicle is reporting that the SF Board of Supervisors is about to pass an ordinance that would make “strict enforcement of stop signs for cyclists the lowest priority for the SFPD”
And many cyclists in San Francisco are thinking “What stop signs?”

–

QB Colin Kaepernick, praising new SF coach Tomsula, says that this year is “a comfort zone for me. It’s a situation where I’m not being asked to do things outside of my character.”
Because Jim is a nice guy, or because the 49ers have designs on drafting high enough to get Jared Goff?

–

A terminal in Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport was evacuated over what turned out to be an iPhone in a gun shaped case. Not sure what the owner of the phone will be charged with, but assume included will be felony criminal stupidity.

–

R.I.P Yogi Berra. Nobody goes to heaven anymore, it’s too crowded.

Another sad thing for some about the death of ‪#‎YogiBerra‬. We can probably retire the phrase “Beloved ‪#‎Yankee‬.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment

Sinister thoughts

September 21, 2015

In an Oklahoma school, a pre-K student was allegedly forced to write with his right hand and sent home with a note about the “evil” of being left-handed. Waiting for Mike Huckabee or someone to make this about Christianity and religious freedom.

–

Mike Huckabee and some other conservatives ARE upset that, among the 15,000 people Obama has invited to an event for Pope Francis, are a handful of LGBT Catholics and even pro-choice Catholics.

You know who isn’t upset about their inclusion? The Pope.

–

A tourist died and another broke his leg when they fell down a staircase taking selfies at the Taj Mahal. If Darwin were alive he might have to revise his book to add a whole chapter on selfie-sticks.

–

If we could just create a combination gun and selfie-stick, we could cull the herd a lot faster.

–

Scott Walker is dropping out of the Presidential race. So bad news, Wisconsin, for the next few years you’re stuck with him.

–

When the Seahawks beat the Packers in the 2015 NFC Championship, Russell WIlson credited God. And Aaron Rodgers said he didn’t think God “cares a whole lot about the outcome.” But after last night’s Packers win, Rodgers said ” I think God was a Packers fan tonight, so he was taking care of us.”
You never know.. Hey, maybe Jesus had money on Green Bay.

–

Scott Walker said Monday he was “called” to drop out of the race. And God said “Wasn’t me, I was watching the Packers-Seahawks.”

–

A Georgia peanut executive was sentenced to 28 years in prison today for knowingly shipping salmonella-tainted peanut butter, which resulted in hundreds of people getting sick, and at least nine deaths. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate just to sentence him to eating his own peanut butter.

–

SNL‬ has picked  Taran Killi‪am to play ‪Donald Trump. But who’s going to play that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head?

–

After a Vikings fan was beaten after the first game at Levi’s, two Santa Clara City Council members have suggested that the city ban alcohol from the stadium. And 49ers fans are screaming, “Ban booze? Did you see the team against the Steelers, how else are we going to get through the rest of the season?”

–

Both Ted Cruz AND Hillary Clinton rebuked Ben Carson’s comment on a Muslim president by invoking the Constitution

So Clinton and Cruz agree. Now which of them will be the first to have a campaign event with flying pigs?

–

And here, for Dr. Ben Carson, since civics was clearly not required for your medical school education. The U.S. Constitution, Article VI: “The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”

–

Bus to Hell time:  Monday, Sept 21 is World Alzheimer’s Day. Awful disease, but at least you can use the same greeting card every year.

–

The NFL keeps talking about wanting to reduce injuries. Here’s a simple way to cut them down drastically: Any player who receives a penalty for a play that injures another has to sit until that injured player returns. Up to and including missing the rest of the season.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Comments: 5 Comments

We some of the people?

September 20, 2015

Ben Carson said he doesn’t think a Muslim should ever be President, because the religion isn’t “consistent with the constitution.” Well, actually, Dr. Carson, expecting Americans to follow ANY religion isn’t consistent with the constitution.

–

Okay, who had both ‪#‎Stanford‬ & the ‪#‎Raiders‬ winning this weekend in football? Now all of you liars put your hands down.

–

Right about now ‪#‎JohnHarbaugh‬ has to be thinking of calling brother ‪#‎jimharbaugh‬ & asking how to join the college coaching ranks. ‪#‎BALvsOak‬

–

Marco Rubio on Obama “He’s born in the United States. He’s a Christian. He’s the president of the United States for the next year and a half and we’re going to move on.” Uh oh, if Rubio doesn’t watch out he’s going to lose that all important crazy vote.

–

Hillary Clinton is now saying she’s a “real person,”  who can “talk about anything and everything – from the Kardashians to wonky climate change policy.”

Were those the best choices.  While the overlap between the two groups is small, a lot of Americans don’t believe in at least one of those examples.

–

So after beating ‪#‎NIU‬ by 7, ‪#‎OhioState‬ strengthens their hold on #1 in ‪#‎APTop25‬. Shouldn’t the Huskies thus be at least in top 20?

–

An Alabama wide receiver tweeted “For the second straight year, we will be in the college football playoff and Ole Miss won’t. Bama isn’t going anywhere.” Uh, AFTER Ole Miss won. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎cantdomatheither‬

–

The NY Post reports that New York City custodians took home an average pay of $109,467 in the 2013-14 school year. That’s almost enough to afford a studio apartment in Manhattan.

–

Scary that this year it looks like the ‪#‎NYJets‬ might be the less dysfunctional NFL team in New York? ‪#‎NYGiants‬

–

Now some conservatives are claiming that Ahmed Mohamed really didn’t build a block and it was all a fraud to get attention, or worse, a “dry run” for a Muslim kid bringing a bomb to school. Sigh.
The boy would have been fine if he had just acted like a real Texan and built a gun

–

Chris Christie, a Catholic, today on Pope Francis saying the U.S. and Cuba should restore relations: “I just think the pope is wrong. The fact is that his infallibility is on religious matters, not on political ones.”

Uh, wait, for the GOP aren’t religion and politics supposed to be the same thing?

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Any given Saturday?

September 19, 2015

Stanford’s road to the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl might have hit a  speed bump tonight.

‪#‎Fearthetree‬ ‪#‎Nerdnation‬ ‪#‎GoStanford‬. “Saw this coming” said NOBODY. ‪#‎STANvsUSC‬

–

Headline you didn’t expect to see- “Ohio State holds off Northern Illinois, 20-13.” Sounds like the Buckeyes’ players took this game about as seriously as they take their classes.

–

Notre Dame won today but safety Drue Tranquill injured his right knee chest-bumping a teammate after breaking up a pass in the first half. So Touchdown Jesus may be backing the Fighting Irish, but Mean Bitch Karma still doesn’t like showboating.

–

Author Jackie Collins has passed away at 77. And millions of women are thinking, “How sad.” Millions of men are going “Who?”

–

Marshawn Lynch filmed an entire Pepsi ad without speaking. Out of habit Roger Goodell fined him.

–

In New York City, authorities have closed a child-care center after staff members were accused of accidentally leaving a 2-year-old-boy at a playground. Apparently they just miscounted the children. Yeah, who really needs math anyway?

–

Donald Trump just released a policy paper saying he wants to end bans on certain gun types, and that he supports nationwide concealed carry permits. Fine. Can the Donald start by allowing concealed carry at all his campaign events?

–

A 91-year-old Florida man, Max Horton, was arrested for allegedly shooting at his neighbors’ landscapers because they got lawn clippings on his caregivers car. In 2013, he was accused of threatening Florida Hospital staffers, telling them he had a gun in his car and they’d be sorry if he went to get it. And this time police said, while being taken to jail, Horton also allegedly threatened to get “payback” on his neighbors.
Thinking this is not what our forefathers meant by a well-regulated militia

–

Guess Sarah Palin couldn’t let her daughter have all the headlines, so she too is ranting over Ahmed Mohamed, saying the boy is an “obstinate-answering student” (say what?) , and that his device “obviously could be seen by conscientious teachers as a dangerous wired-up bomb-looking contraption.” Adding “Right, if that’s a clock, I’m the Queen of England.”
So in addition to everything else Sarah has delusions of royalty?

–

Trump says “I am not morally obligated” to correct a man who claimed Obama was a Muslim. Uh, Trump was correct after the first 11 letters.

–

A shocking upset in the rugby World Cup, as Japan upset South Africa. Shocking the Japanese especially. “We have a rugby team?

–

A new iiPhone app will tell users how much time they have wasted playing games and checking social media. So will the app also have the ability to check how much time you waste checking it?

 –

My friend Owen Byrd shares this tweet from @JaymayAllDay – ‪#‎wishIhadsaidthis‬ : “If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO.”

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Numbers game?

September 17, 2015

We don’t need no stinkin’ DH.  #SFGiants

powers

–

Leaving aside the illegality of it, does Jeb Bush’s response of “Maggie Thatcher” for a woman to be on the $10 bill mean he can’t think of ONE worthy American woman? ‪#‎andhessupposedtobethesmartone

–

Jeb Bush tonight admitted to smoking marijuana 40 years ago, “other people might have done it but may not want to say it in front of 25 million people. My mom’s not happy that I just did.” Wow. Jeb smoked pot. And somewhere Barbara is thinking of his brother and just giggling.

–

Over 22 million people tuned into CNN’s debate last night. Well, if all it takes is an outspoken entertainer as part of the show to get people’s attention, can we include Jon Stewart or Bill Maher in the Democratic debate?

–

My friend Michael Powers noted this quote from Marco Rubio during the GOP debate: “These problems cannot be solved by intellect.”

Well, then that’s not an issue for most anyone who was on that stage.

–

Apparently Kobe Bryant’s torn rotator cuff has healed enough so that he has been cleared to participate in basketball activities. Well, and it’s not like he’ll need to use the shoulder to pass or anything.

–

American Airlines had a “technical issue” today that halted flights for about an hour at DFW, Miami, and O’Hare., their three main hubs.
How come it’s a “technical issue” when they have a problem, and at least a $200 change fee when YOU have a problem?

 –

Bengals kicker Mike Nugent is upset about the NFL making the PAT attempt longer.: “I don’t like the rule because — I could be wrong — but I don’t know of any rules that have been changed to make guys fail more.”

Well, two things. 1. Making “guys fail more” IS exactly the point. 2. Any rules, well, let’s start with lowering the MLB mound in 1969. And then there’s moving the kickoff, and the goalposts, and, well, I am sure my friends and readers have a long list.

—

Anthony Weiner has lost his job he started in July at that fancy PR firm. So congrats to all those who had Sept 16 in the pool.
–

Ann Coulter is facing more than the usual bipartisan criticism after she tweeted during the GOP debate “How many f–ing Jews do these people think there are in the United States?” Maybe she forgot that one of those Jews is Sheldon Adelson?

–

Defensive lineman Jonathan Taylor has been dismissed from both Alabama and Georgia for a total of three arrests, two for domestic violence, Now Taylor has enrolled at Southeastern Louisiana and joined the football team. Well, a guy’s got to do something before he joins the NFL.

–

The Coolidge, AZ, City Council voted Monday to allow prayers before council meetings, including a stipulation that they be Christian. Where are the GOP defenders of freedom of religion on this one?

–

Pitcher Mat ‪#‎Latos‬ made much of hating ‪#‎SF‬. Can’t wait to hear what he says about LA, now that the ‪#‎Dodgers‬ have DFA’ed him.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: 2 Comments

Unreality TV

September 16, 2015
Tonight was the second GOP debate. Otherwise known as “Dancing with the Questions.”
 –
Joe Biden says that Donald Trump has a “sick” message, and is “appealing to the baser side of human nature, working on this notion of xenophobia in a way that hasn’t occurred in a long time.”
Wonder how many Trump supporters are thinking “What’s xenophobia? Trump’s just against all these damn foreigners.”
–

Lots of candidate talk about Ronald Reagan. Not much talk about Reagan’s tax hikes, increased budget deficit, and signing an immigration act in 1986 that which granted amnesty to almost 3 million undocumented immigrants. Am sure it’s just coincidence. ‪#‎GOPdebate

–
All these candidates who want to defund ‪#‎PlannedParenthood‬ and talk about family planning alternatives. Would one of them like to name one such alternative. And their plan to fund welfare for children born from unplanned pregnancies?
–
All this discussion of “judicial tyranny” with the Supreme Court on the subject of gay marriage. Where were all these clowns when the Supreme Court declared George W. Bush President?
–
Donald Trump on tonight’s debate: ‘I think I could tone it down a little”: Right, he could, but he didn’t..

–

Donald Trump during the debate – I was for a flat tax before I was against it. I was for the rich paying more before I was against it. This is so confusing.
–

Carly Fiorina goes back to the marijuana gateway drug line. Cue ‪#‎DemonSheep‬.  Cue ‪#‎ReeferMadness  ‬ ‪#‎GOPDebate‬

–

Jeb Bush – ‬ “My brother kept us safe.” Well, except for that little 9/11 thing. ‪#‎GOPDebate‬

–

Lindsey Graham says it doesn’t make sense to deport millions of undocumented immigrants, but they should learn to speak English. Well sure, but so should millions of people born in the U.S.

–

I’d take these GOP candidates calling for war with Iran more seriously if they’d call for a draft to get people to fight it, and a way to pay for it.

–

The NFL has granted permission for New England clubhouse attendants John Jastremski and Jim McNally, who were suspended over Deflategate, to return, and the Patriots will reinstate them.
So yeah, guess those footballs were so in awe of Brady’s brilliance that they just deflated themselves.

–

More debate.  A real question “If you’re elected President, how would the world look different after you lead office?”  Waiting for the honest answer from someone: “Well, Hell would host an awesome Winter Olympics.” ‪#‎GOPdebate‬

–

Rutgers football coach Kyle Flood has been suspended three games and fined $50,000 for allegedly emailing a lecturer inquiring about a grade for one of his potentially failing players. What Flood is really being suspended and fined for? A). being too stupid to have one of his staff do the the dirty work, and B) putting it in an email..

–

A post-debate thought. Talking about the general election Chris Christie said he would prosecute “Mrs. Clinton in those debates.” That is, if Christie is not defending himself in a courtroom over the backroom deals that led to the resignation of the CEO of United Airlines.

–

#‎Peavy‬ gets his first home run of the year. 9th for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ pitchers in 2015. One behind Pablo Sandoval. ‪#‎byebyebaby‬

#‎ChrisHeston‬ and ‪#‎MattCain‬ do not have home runs for the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ this year yet. Time to get them some ABs.

–

Amazing story about the Muslim student who was accused of building a bomb when he had only built a clock. Have to wonder these days how many students can even read a clock?

–

In a few cities, 7-11 is offering delivery service of a “Date Night Pack”, which includes ice cream, candy, Red Bull and condoms. Thinking if your idea of a Date Night is 7-11, you’re not likely to need the pack.

–

Actor Stephen Rannazzisi, who said he escaped from the World Trade Center on 9-11 and then quit his desk job to become a comedian, now says he made the story up. Stand by for his interview with Brian Williams.

–

The ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are on a mission to singlehandedly destroy the DH. Now Madison Bumgarner was the first pitcher ever to reach base against Aroldis Chapman. But the Reds’ closer had gotten to an 0-2 count vs. 57 hitters this year. He struck out 41 of them, and none of them walked. Until Madbum.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Shut up and eat your soup?

September 16, 2015

Marshawn Lynch’s mom has posted on Facebook that she thinks the Seahawks offensive coordination is “the worst play caller ever, ” and should be fired. Maybe beginning to see why Lynch keeps his mouth shut.

–

In a game where the entire #SFGiants bullpen seemed to be trying to outdo each other with a sucking contest, the Giants did come back, twice, from being 3 runs down.  #Rallyskeeter.  Almost a win. But they can’t say “We’re going to need a bigger cat.”

rallyskeeter

So a PAC supporting Jeb Bush has released a video touting Bush’s optimism about America, which features a sun rising in a field, with the message  “choose a brighter path.”  Nice. Except the field is in Cornwall, England.  The video is titled  “Bright.” #andjebissupposedtobethebrightone.

–

The FDA has banned sales of four cigarette brands from R.J. Reynolds for not meeting safety review requirements. Shocking. Cigarettes HAVE safety requirements?:

–

North Korea is now threatening the US with nuclear attack, saying they are ready to use weapons “at any time.” So assume there’s a Playstation involved?

–

A just released video from last night video shows three SF 49ers fans beating a Minnesota Vikings fan outside Levi’s. So much for those who thought the Candlestick crowd wouldn’t make it down to the new stadium.

–

Carly Fiorina cut 30,000 jobs when she was at HP. Current CEO Meg Whitman has cut 55,000 and now may cut another 30,000 more. Is Meg trying to make her fellow Republican look good by comparison?

–

The University of Texas has fired their athletic director. The real reason can be explained in four words: the football team sucks.

–

Gary Busey has endorsed Donald Trump for President. Thinking the Donald probably already had 98% of the people who are crazy enough to care about Busey’s endorsement.

–

Marco Rubio started at Tarkio College in Missouri on a football scholarship, then went to Santa Fe Community College, then finally ended up at the University of Florida for his bachelor’s degree. Yesterday he said in Iowa, “Look, I don’t have anything against Florida State. I think there has to be a school where people who can’t get into Florida can go to college.”

Is Rubio trying to prove he’s enough of an overgrown frat boy to be Trump’s running mate?

–

Bobby Jindal’s latest – ” Donald Trump is a madman who must be stopped,” Almost makes you wish Jindal was at the grown ups table for the prime-time debate tomorrow, just to see him and the Donald face off.,

–

A new Korean study found that antibacterial soaps are no more effective than plain soap at killing germs, as the active ingredient only makes a difference after 9 hours.
Let’s hope OCD folks don’t see this and make 9 hours a goal.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Dude, where’s my plane.

September 13, 2015

American Airlines admitted they accidentally put the wrong planet on a Los Angeles – Honolulu flight.  It was a similar Airbus to the correct aircraft, but the model that flew Aug 31 was not certified to fly over the Pacific. Oops.  The mistake was noticed mid-air, the plane continued to Hawaii, but flew back empty of passengers.

Would have been more understandable maybe if the plane mix-up happened out of a state with legalized marijuana?

–

In Denver, a popular park and trail,, which is currently home to many foraging bears and their cubs, has been closed for two weeks because of too many people trying to take selfies with the animals.

Really?! Can’t we just open it again with the goal of culling the herd?  #cantfixstupid

–

A 29 year old man is in jail for possession of cocaine with intent to sell after he mistakenly started a weeks-long texting conversation with a police captain about drugs instead of his dealer. Do I even have to say this was Florida?

–

Drug experts say the number of meth labs in the Midwest is decreasing, but the void is being filled with an influx of cheap Mexican imports, according to experts. Waiting for GOP candidates to trump this as yet another example of immigrants taking high-paying American jobs.

–

Floyd Mayweather says after last night’s fight that he is retired. Maybe because after the last two lackluster fights, it’s unlikely that he’ll be offered millions rea$on$ to change his mind.

–

Vanessa Williams returned to Miss America as head judge Sunday night. Williams had won in 1984, then resigned after nude pictures of her were published in Penthouse. And these days people are thinking “naked photos in a magazine, how quaint.”

–

A small Alabama town is considering banning saggy pants, miniskirts and short shorts in public. Is that really necessary? A possible ban on spandex at Disney World…. now we’re talking.

–

#‎Trump‬ continues personal insults to every other GOP candidate. Has he realized if he gets the nomination he does need a running mate?

–

Two of the Rams, Chargers and Raiders may end up in Los Angeles. Today Oakland played as if their defense against such a move was being a team no other city wants.

Raiders Coach Jack Del Rio  “At some point you’ve just got to start playing good football.”   And Redskins fans are just giggling.

–

#‎SFGiants‬ probably won’t make the playoffs. But betting they’re now glad they didn’t give away the store for Johnny ‪#‎Cueto‬.

–

Even though the number of police who have been shot is actually down 26% this year, Scott Walker is blaming President Obama: “I think his absence of leadership… not speaking out about this rhetoric out there…” has contributed to police being killed.
Just wondering, why don’t Walker, and others, blame an absence of leadership from say, gun rights activists and conservatives, in contributing to hate crimes against minorities?

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Qualified?

September 12, 2015

Apparently Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai has to take SATs before she applies to U.S. colleges. Well, duh, not like Malala is something important like a football or basketball player.

–

Donald Trump is unhappy about Ben Carson questioning his “fear of the Lord,” and said “you don’t hit a person on faith.” Uh, okay, would the Donald like to tell that to his supporters? A recent PPP poll found 66% of respondents who support Trump believe that Obama is Muslim.

–

It’s been since 1993 since a Canadian team won the NHL Stanley Cup. And since a Canadian team won the World Series. Who’d a thunk that the most likely drought to be over soon would be in baseball? ‪#‎BlueJays‬

–

There were chants of USA! USA! USA! during game one of the Yankee-Blue Jays doubleheader at Yankee Stadium. Maybe Toronto’s sweep was karma’s way of saying “Stay classy, New York.”

–

Sadly fitting. Nationals reliever Drew Storen ended his season by breaking his thumb slamming his locker in frustration after a loss Wednesday. Washington season-ticket holders have to wish they had the same option.

–

Wait a minute. Jacksonville State isn’t even in Florida but in Alabama? This geography stuff is so confusing. ‪#‎JaxState‬ ‪#‎Auburn‬

–

Apparently Aldon Smith turned down more money from other teams to stay in the SF Bay Area with the Raiders. Because Smith is already on a first name basis with most of the local police?

–

Do they award Darwin awards to businesses? If so, Zales Jewelers just locked up the award for the year. With a 9/11 sale. No joke. And they even instead of “Remember, Rebuild, Renew” used “Renew, Reset, Restyle” on their brochures. ‪ #‎youreallycannotmakethisstuffup‬

–

Now departed United Airlines CEO Jeff Smisek has a golden parachute of that could top $20 million, including $5 million in cash. Along with free first class travel for life on United. Too late to start a petition to United to demand he fly coach?

Can we at least hope all flight attendants recognize him and give Smisek the fine service he so richly deserves?

–

A Catholic woman wanted Office Depot to print 500 copies of an anti-abortion flier that talked about the “evil that has been exposed in Planned Parenthood and in the entire abortion industry.” They refused and invited her to use the self-serve copy machines.
Now she’s claiming religious discrimination. Once again, it’s only discrimination when they disagree with YOUR religion

–

Stanford-UCF started at 730p Pacific Time. 1030pm Eastern. Forget the fact that the Golden Knights were probably tired, we’re talking University of Central FLORIDA. Figure most of the UCF alums were in bed by kick off.

–

Apparently Jason Pierre-Paul’s injury in a fireworks accident is worse than originally thought. The NY Giants’ DE lost not only his right index finger, but also fractured his thumb, needed skin grafts and is missing part of another finger. And he may be out for the entire season, or more. So not only ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬, you can’t always surgically repair it either.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »