Posted tagged ‘Taylor Swift jokes’

Breaking up isn’t that hard to do.

October 4, 2015

The Steelers have just signed Chris Boswell, their fourth placekicker of the season. These relationships are so short-lived that Taylor Swift may be writing songs about them

A downtown Orlando bar is giving away free beer during UCF (University of Central Florida) games until the Golden Knights actually win a football game. Of course there is a hidden cost… actually having to watch UCF football games.

Regarding that “free beer until a win” offer. Pretty sure that offer won’t be repeated on NFL Sundays in Chicago.

Four teams in college football’s top ten lost today, and the top two, Ohio State and Michigan State, barely on.  The last time so many of the highly ranked fell like this,  the GOP presidential debates were involved.

Some sentences can not possibly be topped with a punchline. “The chairman of Florida’s Libertarian Party has resigned in protest of the party’s candidate for U.S. Senate who he said dismembered a goat as part of a cult ritual.”
‪#‎Floridaforthewin‬

Taylor Swift gave a shout-out to the Blue Jays during her concert last night in Toronto. And no doubt Kanye West immediately posted that the Dodgers were better.

Okay, since the Oregon shooter apparently shot Christians in the head, some are already labeling the killings religious persecution. The same folks are conveniently forgetting the shooter also labeled himself a conservative Republican. ‪#‎hewasacrazyasshole‬. Period.

UCLA’s kicker just hit a 53 yard field goal as time expired in the first half. He immediately got a call from the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Mean bitch Karma apparently doesn’t like taunting. After the Longhorns’ latest drubbing this morning, the Texas Rangers tweeted “Fire Charlie. ‪#‎bye‬” (in reference to Texas coach Charlie Strong.)
And then the Rangers, who were about to clinch the division, blew a 4 run lead in the 9th to lose 11-10 to the Angels.

35 points scored in the 3rd quarter. 21 for the Cardinal, 14 for Wildcats. When did Stanford and Arizona start playing arena football?

Rough week for some fans in Texas. Bad news that SMU’s men’s basketball team has been put on probation. Worse news that the University of Texas’s football team wasn’t.

11-15 inches of rain this weekend in some East Coast states. And out in California they’re just sobbing.

On ESPN, Joey Galloway, a former Ohio State and NFL WR argued against a player sitting out the season to save his health for the draft, and compared it to telling someone not to drive a car because of the risk of an accident. But did say the danger with a car is “you’ve got women driving.”
Is it too late to check Galloway for concussions? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

(and no, as a certified bus-to-hell substitute driver, it’s not the joke, or even being un-PC, it’s the being on a major network and cheerfully telling the un-PC joke in public.)

All Bucked Up

October 13, 2014

Since NLCS games 1 and 2 weres basically being called by St. Louis home town announcers can the SF Giants Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper call game 3 for Fox Tuesday?

 

The advantage of watching ‪#‎SFGiants‬ on FOX. All game stress is mitigated by ability to scream at TV regularly due to idiocy of Joe Buck

 

(and the above two are not sour grapes, I wrote both lines when the Giants were tied or winning.)

But okay, if anyone had told ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans that their team would have given up four home runs on mistake pitches while hitting ZERO home runs themselves, and the team would be returning to AT&T tied 1-1, (with Yadier Molina probably out for the series), they would have been ecstatic.

 

Taylor Swift quoted on the cover of People Magazine. “It would take an astonishing human being for me to even consider getting back in a relationship.” Well, either that or a bad case of writer’s block.

As bad as day as the Jets had, this week they didn’t even look like the worst team in New York. Or rather, New Jersey.

MSU #1 in the new coaches poll.  Ole Miss #3.  So a lot of sportswriters and copy editors are finally finding a use for that old M-I-S-S, I-S-S, I-P-P-I spelling chant from grade school.

USC escaped with a 28-26 win Saturday night despite 13 fourth quarter points from Arizona when the Wildcats’ kicker missed his third FG of the game, a 36 yarder with 12 seconds left. Trojan coach Steve Sarkisian said “God’s got a plan, but we’re not exactly what his plan is for us yet.” And God said, “don’t blame me for all these lousy Pac12 placekickers.”

Raiders fans egged the Chargers’ team bus as it arrived at O.co Stadium for today’s game. Fortunately, since this was Oakland, most of the eggs were intercepted.

After last night’s NASCAR race in Charlotte, Matt Kenseth and Brad Keselowski ended up fighting in the garage. If this sort of thing starts happening near the track it could double ratings.

Wonder how many Americans are so worried about ‪#‎Ebola‬ that they are now reading updates on their phones while driving?

John McCain now wants a “health care czar.” And hey, the post of Surgeon General is vacant. Why? Because Dr. Vivek Murthy, President Obama’s November 2013 nomination, hasn’t been confirmed by the Senate. Murthy’s crime, upsetting the NRA by calling guns “a health care issue” in a 2012 tweet…. ‪#‎haveyounoshame‬

 

 

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving.  A day where Canadian residents with national healthcare and reasonable gun laws look at the U.S. and feel thankful they live where they do. Of course, there’s a reason this day is in October, well before Canada deals with actual winter.