Posted tagged ‘Rangers jokes’

In this corner, or rather base….

May 16, 2016

Today’s Rangers Blue Jays brawl started by Rougned Odor and Jose Bautista lasted long enough it should have been on pay-per-view .

Next Toronto-Texas game may instead of a line-up card feature an under-card?

But seriously, how long since a Blue Jays-Rangers game was the leading baseball story on Sportscenter?

 

Rougned Odor is likely to be suspended for his punch today. Wonder the suspension would preclude Odor from taking suspended heavyweight challenger Alexander Povetkin’s place in that WBC bout?

First Justin Trudeau, then they get one of the four remaining teams in the NBA playoffs. Now Canada’s just piling on.

Now that the ‪#‎Raptors‬ have finally made a conference final does that mean there’s hope for the ‪#‎MapleLeafs‬? ‪#‎Toronto‬ ‪#‎letsnotgetcarriedaway‬

 

Meanwhile, the SF Giants swept the Diamondbacks, 2-1.  But considering it took instant replay to keep Casilla from blowing save #4 maybe Santiago might be done for a while from complaining about Bochy’s lack of faith in him.

The Giants actually only scored one of their runs when Matt Cain was pitching, continuing a streak over years where Cain receives some of the least run support in the majors.  Maybe next time Cain pitches, ‪#‎SFGiants‬ should start a reliever just for the 1st batter in 1st inning,  just to fool the hitters into not going into ice cold mode.

 

Heard announcer refer to ‪#‎NYKnicks‬ coaching job as “one of most coveted in sports. Well, many do want to grow up to be circus ringmasters

A newly discovered sinkhole in Florida may show that humans lived there 1,500 years earlier than expected. Amongst the finds inside was reputedly a tattered Tim Duncan jersey.

President Obama told the Rutgers Class of 2016 today, “let me be as clear as I can be: In politics and in life, ignorance is not a virtue,” Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.

Donald Trump now called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas” in an interview. Pass the popcorn, this should be fun.

 

So I actually saw a serious anti-Clinton tweet saying that Hillary takes selfies and Bernie doesn’t. The rest of the world must think we have gone absolutely mad.

Breaking up isn’t that hard to do.

October 4, 2015

The Steelers have just signed Chris Boswell, their fourth placekicker of the season. These relationships are so short-lived that Taylor Swift may be writing songs about them

A downtown Orlando bar is giving away free beer during UCF (University of Central Florida) games until the Golden Knights actually win a football game. Of course there is a hidden cost… actually having to watch UCF football games.

Regarding that “free beer until a win” offer. Pretty sure that offer won’t be repeated on NFL Sundays in Chicago.

Four teams in college football’s top ten lost today, and the top two, Ohio State and Michigan State, barely on.  The last time so many of the highly ranked fell like this,  the GOP presidential debates were involved.

Some sentences can not possibly be topped with a punchline. “The chairman of Florida’s Libertarian Party has resigned in protest of the party’s candidate for U.S. Senate who he said dismembered a goat as part of a cult ritual.”
‪#‎Floridaforthewin‬

Taylor Swift gave a shout-out to the Blue Jays during her concert last night in Toronto. And no doubt Kanye West immediately posted that the Dodgers were better.

Okay, since the Oregon shooter apparently shot Christians in the head, some are already labeling the killings religious persecution. The same folks are conveniently forgetting the shooter also labeled himself a conservative Republican. ‪#‎hewasacrazyasshole‬. Period.

UCLA’s kicker just hit a 53 yard field goal as time expired in the first half. He immediately got a call from the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Mean bitch Karma apparently doesn’t like taunting. After the Longhorns’ latest drubbing this morning, the Texas Rangers tweeted “Fire Charlie. ‪#‎bye‬” (in reference to Texas coach Charlie Strong.)
And then the Rangers, who were about to clinch the division, blew a 4 run lead in the 9th to lose 11-10 to the Angels.

35 points scored in the 3rd quarter. 21 for the Cardinal, 14 for Wildcats. When did Stanford and Arizona start playing arena football?

Rough week for some fans in Texas. Bad news that SMU’s men’s basketball team has been put on probation. Worse news that the University of Texas’s football team wasn’t.

11-15 inches of rain this weekend in some East Coast states. And out in California they’re just sobbing.

On ESPN, Joey Galloway, a former Ohio State and NFL WR argued against a player sitting out the season to save his health for the draft, and compared it to telling someone not to drive a car because of the risk of an accident. But did say the danger with a car is “you’ve got women driving.”
Is it too late to check Galloway for concussions? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

(and no, as a certified bus-to-hell substitute driver, it’s not the joke, or even being un-PC, it’s the being on a major network and cheerfully telling the un-PC joke in public.)

America’s team?

October 22, 2010

 Are the Texas Rangers really now America’s team? Could be.  Most of them are underpaid by MLB standards,  the team declared bankruptcy earlier in the year, and they are much better off without George W. Bush in charge.

(for all non-hardcore baseball fans, before W. ran for governor and then President, he was the managing partner of the Rangers. And amongst other things, traded Sammy Sosa for Harold Baines.)

Alex Rodriguez made the last out for New York in the ALCS. Particularly fitting since his salary is more than half that of the whole Rangers team. ($33 million to 55 million.)

The headline in Saturday’s New York Post says “$210 million bust.”  So thanks to the Yankees, Meg Whitman’s campaign may avoid this year’s dubious honor of being “Most money spent in a losing cause.”

The Yankees, ever resilient, are considering filing for a roster rule change for 2011. Preferably to make the trade deadline the seventh inning stretch during postseason games.

And while the players themselves watch the World Series between naps and golf games, for management, still flush with free agent cash, the games will be shopping time.

In fact, the Yankees especially wish Josh Hamilton and Cliff Lee well.  And promise them a bigger ring when they win the 2011 World Series in pinstripes.

Let’s hope none of those Chilean miners are casual baseball fans, if one of them hears that the New York Yankees are not going to the World Series because they were beaten by the Texas Rangers, they are likely to head to the doctor asking for medication to help with hallucinations.

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Who knew Nietzsche was an SF Giants fan?

American Kamari Charlton, a former FSU Seminoles, may be punished by “caning” in Singapore after overstaying his 90 day visa by 169 days. Charlton must have been a math major at Florida State.

According to CNN, Jeb Bush said Friday he isn’t running for president, but would support Sarah Palin if she were to run. I thought Jeb was supposed to be “the smart one.”

When asked how she was coping with the allegations against her husband, Deanna Favre says: “I’m handling this through faith.” Upon hearing this Elin Nordegren sent Deanna a gift of golf clubs.

And this is a groaner, I know, but –  Former President Clinton is going to tail gate for some of his fellow Democrats this weekend. And if there’s anyone who knows “tails,” it’s Bill Clinton.

In a rare public speech at a trade conference, former President George W. Bush said his greatest failure as a president was not privatizing Social Security. His remarks occasioned immediate requests for more pre-election speeches, from Democrats.

Apparently there is talk in the airline industry of commercial passenger jets someday being flown solo. But it’s unlikely to happen. Most pilots don’t like to drink alone.