Posted tagged ‘Ann Coulter jokes’

No place they’d rather be.

July 18, 2017

The sellout streak may be over. But for last-place team on a Tuesday night, this is sure not a bad crowd in bottom of 10th #SFGiants #ATTPark

NFL opening night in less than 2 months. Meanwhile fans can follow sagas like training camps, trades & which Cowboy will get arrested next.

RB Ezekiel Elliott is now appealing his conviction after he pleaded no contest in July over allegedly driving 100mph in a 70mph zone. Sounds like someone doesn’t want a prior used against him in one or more future cases. #Cowboys   #Americasteam

Detroit Lions DE Armonty Bryant has been suspended 4 games for violating the NFL substance abuse policy – this suspension is his 3rd since the start of the 2016 season.
Bryant had 3 sacks last season. When you have as many suspensions as sacks, it might be time to find a new line of work?

Simple solution:  If Donald Trump could somehow change name of Obamacare to Trumpcare that would be enough for him to declare it a major success.

Is Trump trying to prove he knew nothing about Don Jr’s Russia meeting by showing he knew nothing about the Trumpcare bill?

Don Jr., clearly less favored child to Ivanka. If he did something he thought legal to help win election he’d run to Dad to brag about it.

I’m sure if Obama had a private off-the-record meeting w/ a foreign leader & no other Americans present the GOP would be just fine with it.

Ann Coulter is still on a Twitter tantrum against Delta. If it took $10,000 of her time to select the seat, with the amount of time she is wasting complaining she could rent a private plane.

About only thing Trump could say that his supporters wouldn’t believe completely is if he said Redskins will win Super Bowl this year.

The number of contortions Trump supporters have to go through to convince themselves he is a great President indicates they were really good at “Twister.”-

Not sure but just thinking that somewhere President Obama is smiling. “Who knew healthcare could be so complicated?”

O.J. Simpson is expected to be paroled this week, in part because he has been a model prisoner, in part because he has no other criminal convictions. Under any other President, that might be the #whythereisnosatire line of the week.

Chris Christie was loudly booed catching foul ball tonight at the  Mets game at Citifield. Maybe Trump wishes he had picked the New Jersey governor as a running mate, he MIGHT have VP less popular than he is.

Three words, “You go girl.”  http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/18/us/transgender-woman-viral-photo-trnd/index.html

 

Advertisements

Winter is coming, but isn’t fall coming first?

July 16, 2017

Is it un-American not to care about Game of Thrones? Asking for a friend.

SF Giants are having a Game of Thrones night Thursday.  Giants fans would like offense to stop regularly having Night of the Living Dead nights.

 

Executive V.P. Billy Beane says Oakland plans to rebuild & be competitive when A’s have new ballpark. Will it be named “Flying Pig” field?

Jeff Samardzija is rumored to be on trade block. Were those 7 runs on 2 home runs in four innings today his way of telling team he’d rather stay in San Francisco?

Roger Federer, 35, won Wimbledon this year without losing a set. Imagine how good he’ll be when he really hits his prime.

Houston Texans rookie RB D’Onta Foreman was arrested in Austin this morning and charged with marijuana possession and unlawful carrying of a firearm. Shocking, there’s a way to illegally carry a gun in Texas?

An Allegiant Airline flight from Florida to Indiana had to turn around after its air conditioning malfunctioned. The horror – they couldn’t charge an air conditioning surcharge.

Cruz’s Trumpcare amendment is like car insurance that in case of a major injury accident would cover new tires and some Band-aids.

Forget how long until Trump’s travel expenses eclipse Obama’s. How long until Trump’s LEGAL expenses eclipse Obama’s travel expenses?

Media, FBI, CIA, CBO, Secret Service… pretty sure only people Trump trusts are related to him. And he’s not sure about Tiffany.

Trump maintains no one told him about Russia meeting. But if they didn’t think it was illegal, why WOULDN’T they tell him?

Lawyer Jay Sekulow on Russia meeting “if this was nefarious, why Secret Service allowed these people in” He means Trump himself attended?

So did @realDonaldTrump notice at #USWomensOpen at his golf club, not a US woman in the top ten? #MAGA?

Would be childish to say of course #AnnCoulter was upset w/ Delta for seat change, even their extra legroom doesn’t compare to her broom.

Just wondering, if Ann Coulter is so successful and is selling so many books, why was she flying coach in the first place?

 

As Ann Coulter fans rant, waiting for new @Delta ad. “Fly with us to experience a far-right free zone.”

California Congressman Ted Lieu with a bid to win the internet this week.  “For Made in America week, let’s remember that Nixon used American labor to steal from DNC. He didn’t outsource it to the Russians.”

 

Numbers game?

September 17, 2015

We don’t need no stinkin’ DH.  #SFGiants

powers

Leaving aside the illegality of it, does Jeb Bush’s response of “Maggie Thatcher” for a woman to be on the $10 bill mean he can’t think of ONE worthy American woman? ‪#‎andhessupposedtobethesmartone

Jeb Bush tonight admitted to smoking marijuana 40 years ago, “other people might have done it but may not want to say it in front of 25 million people. My mom’s not happy that I just did.” Wow. Jeb smoked pot. And somewhere Barbara is thinking of his brother and just giggling.

Over 22 million people tuned into CNN’s debate last night. Well, if all it takes is an outspoken entertainer as part of the show to get people’s attention, can we include Jon Stewart or Bill Maher in the Democratic debate?

My friend Michael Powers noted this quote from Marco Rubio during the GOP debate: “These problems cannot be solved by intellect.”

Well, then that’s not an issue for most anyone who was on that stage.

Apparently Kobe Bryant’s torn rotator cuff has healed enough so that he has been cleared to participate in basketball activities. Well, and it’s not like he’ll need to use the shoulder to pass or anything.

American Airlines had a “technical issue” today that halted flights for about an hour at DFW, Miami, and O’Hare., their three main hubs.
How come it’s a “technical issue” when they have a problem, and at least a $200 change fee when YOU have a problem?

 –

Bengals kicker Mike Nugent is upset about the NFL making the PAT attempt longer.: “I don’t like the rule because — I could be wrong — but I don’t know of any rules that have been changed to make guys fail more.”

Well, two things. 1. Making “guys fail more” IS exactly the point. 2. Any rules, well, let’s start with lowering the MLB mound in 1969. And then there’s moving the kickoff, and the goalposts, and, well, I am sure my friends and readers have a long list.

Anthony Weiner has lost his job he started in July at that fancy PR firm. So congrats to all those who had Sept 16 in the pool.

Ann Coulter is facing more than the usual bipartisan criticism after she tweeted during the GOP debate “How many f–ing Jews do these people think there are in the United States?” Maybe she forgot that one of those Jews is Sheldon Adelson?

Defensive lineman Jonathan Taylor has been dismissed from both Alabama and Georgia for a total of three arrests, two for domestic violence, Now Taylor has enrolled at Southeastern Louisiana and joined the football team. Well, a guy’s got to do something before he joins the NFL.

The Coolidge, AZ, City Council voted Monday to allow prayers before council meetings, including a stipulation that they be Christian. Where are the GOP defenders of freedom of religion on this one?

Pitcher Mat ‪#‎Latos‬ made much of hating ‪#‎SF‬. Can’t wait to hear what he says about LA, now that the ‪#‎Dodgers‬ have DFA’ed him.

Going down

June 24, 2015

And so in Alabama, Gov. Robert Bentley just simply ordered the Confederate flag taken down from the Capitol. The most stunning thing about this, no fuss, no muss, no drama – he just had it taken down. What a concept! .

Who says there’s no hope for our country? The Confederate flag is coming down everywhere, and FOX News has declined to renew Sarah Palin’s $1 million-a-year contract as a contributor.

Just in case anyone thought we were having too much of a epidemic of sanity on the Confederate flag issue, I give you Ann Coulter, who is upset with Nikki Haley: “I’m appalled…though on the other hand, she is an immigrant and does not understand America’s history.” (Haley was born in Bamberg, South Carolina.)

Although suppose Coulter might be tangentially onto something. As an alien Ann herself doesn’t really understand humans.

Apparently since no other candidate has broken out of the pack, Bobby Jindal thinks he has a chance and is going to join the 2016 Presidential race. You know, I can watch a tight cluster of people atop say, the U.S. Open leaderboard, without suddenly thinking I could win at golf.

Regarding that Whole Foods overcharging story, where NYC inspectors found EVERY label was inaccurate as to weight. So the store couldn’t have just raised prices a dollar or so a pound? Seems like their basic pricing policy already was ‪#‎ifyouhavetoaskyoucantaffordit‬

Before tonight, the SF Giants are averaging 2.91 runs a game at AT&T Park and over 5 runs a game during away games. This is as skewed a road to home scoring ratio as we have seen since Bill Clinton first hit the campaign trail.

So since the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ don’t seem to be able to hit at home these days, maybe they should get a certain former left fielder in for a little batting practice coaching. #25 always seemed to manage it pretty well.

Though to be fair, the Giants now haves Nori Aoki on the DL due to a fractured fibula after being hit by a pitch, joining Hunter Pence who is on the DL due to a wrist injury resulting from HIS forearm being broken by a pitch in spring training. So is this the league’s plan to dethrone the World Champions,, take them out one player at a time?

Amtrak apparently stranded passengers on a New York City bound train Tuesday for about five hours without food, air conditioning or working bathrooms. Are they really trying to compete with the airlines?”

Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler’s wife, Kristin Cavallari, apparently told ELLE Magazine earlier that the family wants to leave Chicago and move to Nashville once her husband retires. And many Bears fans are thinking, “Could this be arranged by Christmas?”

In a Fox News poll, 18% of respondents said Donald Trump is a serious candidate; 77% said he is “a side show.” Presumably the other 5% were laughing so hard they couldn’t speak.

This ought to be entertaining. The Grateful Dead concerts this weekend at Levi’s Stadium follow NFL rules. Meaning you can bring a small clutch or wallet, but the ONLY bags you can bring in are limited-size clear plastic bags, period. Well, at least most Deadheads have years of experience going to concerts with small plastic bags.

Time to man up?

June 26, 2014

Really? Ann Coulter, says “any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.” And that “I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer.” First, Ann should STFU. Second, few Americans are likely to be watching past the next round anyway.

 

 

Another thought on Ann Coulter’s comment that “No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer.” Thinking that not having children just makes Ann bitter about never having the chance to become a great-grandfather.

Phrase we never thought we’d hear in the USA. “Don’t ask me a work question, I’m watching the #WorldCup.” #USAvGER

Question asked around the US today? “So how do you win the World Cup by losing a game? “. “Oh, you mean there’s more…?”

In later World Cup games Thursday, Belgium beat Korea 1-0 and Algeria tied Russia 1-1. And across the USA one response “There were later games?”

Luis Suarez has been banned four months for biting. Although his actions did change the conventional wisdom that most Americans couldn’t name a single player in the World Cup

Ghana has kicked two players off their World Cup team after a training “altercation.” And apparently they had to bring $3 million in cash to Brazil yesterday after players threatened to mutiny over not being paid enough. Who says “futebol” is nothing like American football?

Tiger Woods shot a 74 on his first day back in a tournament. At ESPN they are wishing there were only some way to give the other golfers red cards.

 

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan will apparently reunite briefly on screen in the upcoming movie “Ithaca.” Of course, this time they will both be “Sleepless in Seattle” from getting up in the middle of the night to pee.

Howard Baker, 88, has died. He was Reagan’s chief of staff, a presidential candidate himself, and a moderate GOP Senate Majority Leader. Yes, Virginia, there was a time you could be known as a “moderate Senate Majority Leader”

If anyone has been  watching the #SFGiants lately and  heard Tim Lincecum threw a no-hitter against the Padres, their first question must have been “Did he win?

 

LGBT night at A T and T  and not a single same sex couple shown on “Kiss Cam.”. That’s as weak as #SFGiants hitting tonight.

According to the CDC, women are considered “heavy drinkers” if they have eight or more drinks a week, men are “heavy drinkers” if they have 15 or more. Great, one more stressor to drive us to drink.

 –

UK based Titan says they have sold at least one Titan “Zeus”, a $1.6 million, 370 inch TV. And somewhere some guy’s neighbor is plotting how he can find one bigger.

Open note to all drivers: When you are the 2nd, 3rd and 4th cars through the intersection after the light in the other direction turns green, it is just possible you ran a light that was a bit past yellow.

 

From Bill Littlejohn :   “Robert Morris University-Illinois has become the first school to consider video games as a sport.   CalTech could be next, but has concerns over attracting too many ‘one-and-dones'”

A kiss is still a kiss?

May 12, 2014

Okay, I get it, gay relationships make some people uncomfortable. But those who think ESPN showing Michael Sam kissing his BOYFRIEND sets a bad example for children seem to have no problem with pictures of Johnny Manziel partying with several scantily clad women.

 

In an effort to mock Michelle Obama’s #Bringbackourgirls campaign Ann Coulter tweeted a photo of herself holding a #Bringbackourcountry sign. And photoshoppers are proving that it is possible for a 52 year old woman to underestimate technology as badly as an 80 year old NBA owner.

 

Clay AIken was leading his Democratic Congressional primary opponent by a few hundred votes and the race was heading for a recount. But Keith Crisco, 71, died after a fall at his home. Does this mean God is a member of the gay mafia?

Oscar Pistorius’s defense team is now arguing that the former Olympic star has “anxiety issues” Right, like Pistorius is anxious now that he may spend the rest of his life in jail.

So who’s going to fix #SolangeKnowles up on a blind date with #ChrisBrown?

A Mankato, Minnesota man is in critical condition after a alleged assault by former Minnesota QB Philip Nelson, who just had transferred to Rutgers. Sounds like Nelson’s next transfer will be from the Scarlet Knights to the Mean Machine (the team in the Longest Yard.)

The Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam says the team has told Johnny Manziel to start acting “like a backup quarterback.” So will Manziel now seek to trademark “Johnny Clipboard?”

 

How many people heard that #TylerColvin hit a home run and wondered “For which team?” #SFGiants

 –

Donald Sterling, on the apology trail – “Am I entitled to one mistake?” One mistake, maybe. One mistake on top of several racial discrimination lawsuits…. not so much.

#DonaldSterling “I am not a racist.” I think I like “I was pushed into a lifeboat” better.

The #SFGiants, who were going to miss Jose Fernandez during the Marlins visit to SF, were sorry to hear the young Miami ace has been placed on the 15-day DL with a sprained elbow. Especially since Fernandez’s next start was against the Dodgers.

 

Move over Matt Cain. Jeff Samardzija has you beat. The Chicago Cubs beat the St. Louis Cardinals tonight 17-5. Samardzija, 0-3, has a 1.45 ERA. In his 8 starts, the Cubs have scored 15 runs.

 

Great quote from  #SF Giants manager Bruce Bochy about Pablo Sandoval, who he batted in the cleanup sport Sunday despite a .173 average.  “He asked me how much I had to drink last night.”

Missed it by THAT much.

April 1, 2012

Unlike millions of Americans, Mitt Romney said yesterday he wasn’t going to buy a Mega Millions lottery ticket. Guess Mitt decided he would hold out for a really big jackpot.

The Azamara Quest is sailing slowly to Malaysia after repairs from an engine room fire that left the cruise ship temporarily disabled. Azamura Club Cruises says electricity has been restored, and all safety procedures were followed – including keeping the captain from falling into any lifeboats

Mitt Romney says winning the upcoming Wisconsin, Maryland and D.C. primaries Tuesday would be a “big statement.” But really, Romney’s problem hasn’t been the big statement, it’s been changing that statement a week later.

“Octomom” Nadya Suleman has apparently gone back on her anti-welfare statements and is now receiving $2,000 a month in food assistance from the state of California. Wonder where all the conservative pro-life protesters backing her up are on this one.

A new CNBC poll says more U.S. homes have Apple products than married couples or children. Of course, spending time with Apple products probably decreases the chances of both marriage and children.

Much buzz about the fact that whoever bought the Mega Millions winning ticket near Baltimore only bought a single “Quick Pick” ticket. Well, at odds of 175,000,000 to one, the odds on one ticket weren’t significantly lower than one in ten.

(or at least as good as that as a Ron Paul donor’s odds of their candidate winning the GOP nomination.)

Three of the four teams left in the men’s Final Four are within 200 miles of each other. (Louisville, UK, OSU) and the fourth, Kansas, is still in the Midwest. Which means the East Coast now gets to understand how most Americans feel about all those televised Red Sox Yankees games.

Jeremy Lin will have knee surgery and probably miss the rest of the NBA season. He still probably spent more time on the court for the Knicks this year than most of the men playing basketball in the NCAA Final Four have spent in classes.

At this point the only way the SF Giants may be able to get any value out of Barry Zito is to keep paying his salary and trade him to another NL West team.

Jamie Moyer can become the oldest MLB pitcher with a victory if he wins his first start of the year for the Rockies April 7. Although the game is against the Astros, so would the accomplishment have an asterisk?

Ann Coulter, trying to get Newt Gingrich out of the Presidential race, said “you can’t have two affairs and run for president.” Showing that her knowledge of history is as strong as her sense of civility.

Two scoreless innings for Guillermo Mota Saturday. So has anyone asked Bruce Bochy if he’s considered starting Mota and putting Barry Zito in long relief?