Posted tagged ‘49ers jokes’
March 13, 2015
John Madden was upset about Will Ferrell’s spring training escapades, feeling that the aging comic actor had no place on a baseball field with real players. Wait until someone tells Madden that A-Rod’s back in Yankees camp.
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A meth lab was found inside a backpack in a Muncie, Indiana Wal-Mart bathroom. Police presumably are looking at surveillance videos for anyone who bought all five seasons of the “Breaking Bad” DVDs.
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SF 49ers CB Chris Culliver has now signed with Washington. Now, I know Culliver has issues, but how much of a train wreck does your team have to be before the Redskins look like a better option?
Dear gawd. As Candlestick Park is being demolished now even more memorabilia is being sold online. Not just seats, but parking lot signs, lockers, traffic cones, and, no joke, the IV holder from the home team locker room. What’s next? Urinals?
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Capital New York is reporting that Wikipedia pages about alleged police brutality, like the Eric Garner case, have been altered from NYPD computers at 1 Police Plaza. Not only are crooks stupid, but also sometimes so are the people chasing them…. #IPaddresswhatIPaddress?
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So keeping her emails on a private server may confirm to many Americans that Hillary Clinton is secretive, calculating and not always 100% honest. Which actually might be qualities many people want in a President.
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Why there is no satire, from a new paper on “Attention decay in science” by researchers in Finland and Palo Alto, California: “The exponential growth in the number of scientific papers makes it increasingly difficult for researchers to keep track of all the publications relevant to their work. Consequently, the attention that can be devoted to individual papers, measured by their citation counts, is bound to decay rapidly”
Translation, this study has found there are too many studies.
Pablo Sandoval, in response to a former teammate calling him out over his ego on a Facebook post. “Who is Aubrey Huff?” Apparently no one ever taught the Panda, who has three World Series rings despite playing in only two of them, and who signed a $95 million contract with Boston, that no one likes a sore winner.
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So two judges have ruled that the difficult question of whether Uber and Lyft are employees or independent contractors must go to juries. Great, so a difficult legal decision that will affect the livelihoods of tens of thousands of people may well be made by 12 people who aren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Univision fired talk show host Rodner Figueroa after he said that first lady Michelle Obama “looks like she’s from the cast of Planet of the Apes.” Was Figueroa angling to get a job at FOX News?
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So safety Antrel Rolle signed with the Chicago Bears because of what he said was a “sign from God”, an Orbitz ad on his phone with discount fares to Chicago. Does that mean Rolle would have signed with the SF 49ers if his phone had an ad for RIngling Brothers?
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St Petersburg police determined that a 25 year old man who was fatally shot on a bicycle died because a gun he was carrying in his jacket pocket accidentally went off. Back on your game, Florida. #cantfixstupid
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #cantfixstupid, 49ers jokes, Candlestick park jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, Sandoval jokes, Uber jokes, Wal-Mart jokes, Will Ferrell jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
March 12, 2015
Apparently a payment is due this month for SF 49ers fans who bought PSL’s at Levi’s Stadium. After this month writing that check has to feel like paying alimony
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Will Ferrell today played for 10 teams in five games during Spring Training in Arizona, and played all nine positions. Who does he think he is? Bugs Bunny?
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Now that Will Ferrell, 47, has played during Spring Training for 10 teams in the Cactus League, some wonder if he might repeat the stunt for teams in Florida’s Grapefruit League. Probably not, as Ferrell is much too young for the Yankees.
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Rudy Giuliani is now blaming Obama and the “tone set by the President” for the McDonald’s brawl and the Ferguson shooting. He also said Obama should be “more like Bill Cosby.” Hey, wasn’t that Bill Clinton’s job?
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Cal DE Brennan Scarlett is transferring to Stanford for his final year and will play football for the Cardinal in 2015. And apparently his car was vandalized after news of the move broke. Well, at least Scarlett wasn’t transferring between SEC rivals… he might have been shot at.
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Disney has announced plans for a “Frozen 2”, albeit with no announced date for the movie’s release. Many parents are just hoping the sequel takes long enough to produce that their children will have gotten too old to want to see it again, and again, and again. #letitgo
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And the hits just keep on coming. Today in the Aaron Hernandez trial, the former player was shown on his own surveillance video walking in his house with what looked like a Glock gun, minutes after Odin Lloyd was shot. Now you have to wonder how Hernandez ever was smart enough to learn the Patriots’ (and Gators’) playbooks.
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Jimmy Kimmel introduced President Obama as the “first Kenyan-born Muslim Socialist ever elected president.” And over at FOX they’re saying “Finally, someone in the liberal media admits it.”
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Darrelle Revis said he followed his heart to return to the NY Jets from the New England Patriots. And nothing says love like $39 million of a $70 million NFL contract guaranteed.
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Ah, those targeted ads. Was reading the story about the Canadian woman who was killed in Cabo when a whale breached and landed on her tour boat. And now I’m getting ads for United’s discount airfares to Cabo San Lucas.
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United Airlines has sent out an email to their elite members talking about an improved Premium Cabin experience that includes “enhanced” amenity kits. Maybe the kits, in addition to the usual socks, eye shade, moisturizer etc, now include a shoe horn so you can get into your seat when you travel economy?
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So the Hillary Clinton email controversy continues. But apparently she has not been the only one to combine government and personal communications. Will we next find out that John McCain used the same blanket to send both official and personal smoke signals?
From T.C. “A picture of a massive alligator taken by a member of Florida’s Myakka Pines Golf Course has gone viral. The club’s Facebook page has generated thousands of hits a day. The club invites visitors play the course but reminds you that it’s 400 399 members have priority for times.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Aaron Hernandez jokes, Frozen jokes, Janice Hough, Rudy Giuliani jokes, spring training jokes, United Airlines jokes, Will Ferrell jokes
Comments: 10 Comments
March 10, 2015
Hottest accessory in #NFL locker rooms this preseason? Badges in team colors saying “Hi, my name is….”
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How many NFL teams will be playing a new theme song? “The Who'”s “Who Are You?”
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Jake Locker has announced his retirement from the NFL. Jake Locker was still in the NFL?
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So is #JedYork trying to change the #49ers new motto from #Winningwithclass to #Losingwithanass? #sf49ers
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All this controversy about a bunch of potentially embarrassing emails, and then 47 GOP senators decide to go ahead and prove you can write something absolutely embarrassing in an old-fashioned letter
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The latest Hillary Clinton email scandal, that she said her email server “contains personal communications from my husband and me.” And Bill has said he has only sent two emails in his entire life, but he loves Twitter. So maybe Hillary is lying. Or maybe she’s just another woman whose husband who responds either with silence, or 140 character or less answers.
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The Boston #RedSox have to be wondering, what will #PabloSandoval say about THEM when he moves onto his next team?
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A 27 year-old Central Florida woman was apparently so focused on her texting that she walked into a moving freight train.. While she sustained injuries to her right arm and leg, the woman was expected to survive. And somewhere again Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.”
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The Wisconsin Timber Rattlers, a minor league affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers, are introducing a new “Funnel Cake Burger” this summer. Featuring a beef patty, bacon and cheese, sandwiched between two sugar dusted funnel cakes. The price is $20, but presume it comes with a discount coupon for an EKG.
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Woman on a bench outside our office, talking loudly on a iPhone speaker about her business deals. So tempting to ask her to speak up a bit so we can take notes.
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A 32-year-old woman was arrested for indecent exposure for sitting naked outside a Dunkin’ Donuts. She told police she did it as a dare. Well, this time it’s pretty easy to guess Florida. Sure wouldn’t happen now in Boston.
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South Dakota may join Idaho, Texas, Utah and Wyoming as states with 80 MPH speed limits. Interesting enough, they’re all states you might want to drive like a bat out of hell to get out of….
Apparently Tri-Delta sorority members were also on that SAE party bus where they were singing the racist chant, and some may have been involved. The National Chapter of Delta Delta Delta released a statement saying “the behavior documented in the video is deplorable and is in no way consistent with Tri Delta’s ideals and core values.” Well this is a bit of a shock. Sororities have “core values?”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 47 senator jokes, 49ers jokes, baseball jokes, Clinton email jokes, Darwin jokes, Hillary Clinton email, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, SAE jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
March 10, 2015
Who’d a thunk that the #OaklandRaiders might turn out to be the least dysfunctional NFL team in the SF Bay Area? #SF49ers
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Based on this #SF49ers off season looks like #JedYork is well on his way to becoming as popular an owner as #DanSnyder
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The 49ers’ LB Patrick Willis says he is going to retire. Well, at least he’ll be one big name SF fans won’t have to watch with another team.
The 49ers’ Bruce Miller has been arrested for spousal battery. If this gets much worse fans will be getting sympathy notes from Jets’ fans.
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Alex Kaseberg: “I’ve seen rats more loyal to sinking ships than players are to the 49ers.”
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AZ Cardinals LB Alex Okafor was arrested at 1:50 a.m. Monday morning on “suspicion of evading police.” This after Austin, TX police responded to a disturbance report, and Okafor allegedly ran from officers but was caught. Hmm, he was caught? Now we’re seeing another reason why NFL teams care about those 40 yard combine scores.
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Only Monday and we may have the week’s champion: An Idaho man, Joey Patterson, 22, was wanted for a probation violation. He was found and arrested after he posted on Facebook when he announced when and where he was going to play softball. #cantfixstupid
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All of this hype on the Apple Watch. Wonder if it can tell time?
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The SAE chapter at the University of Oklahoma has been shut down after members posted a racist video on the 50th anniversary of Selma. Once again, guys trying to prove that it’s an oxymoron to refer to “fraternity men.” #cantfixstupid #cantfixbeingassholeseither
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Simpsons’ producer Sam Simon has passed away after a long battle with cancer. At his funeral, presume they will serve, “mmmm…donuts.”
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Apparently Tim Tebow may try one more time to make an NFL roster at the veteran combine. “Attaboy!” said Brett Favre.
So regarding Pablo Sandoval. I think many SF Giants fans, including myself, were sympathetic to his thinking he wanted a new challenge, even if the grass didn’t turn out be as green as Fenway’s monster. But what’s surprising is the vitrol from him about his time in SF, saying he wasn’t respected just because they wouldn’t give him a big contract after a bad year, and that he doesn’t miss anyone etc.
This wasn’t a Jed York-Jim Harbaugh situation. But all Sandoval is doing is burning bridges of goodwill, and setting himself up for a rather large letdown. IMHO.
Serious bus to hell time. Apparently 10 people have been killed when two helicopters carrying passengers filming a reality show TV show crashed today in Argentina. Sorry, folks, they weren’t filming “The Bachelor.”
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47 GOP senators sent an open letter to Iran, saying that any potential nuclear agreement negotiated by Iran and Obama come to is “a mere executive agreement.” And “the next president could revoke such an executive agreement with the stroke of a pen and future Congresses could modify the terms of the agreement at any time.”
Now, one of these elections we are going to have a Republican president again. I’m sure he or she will be thrilled to see this precedent.
From T.C. World #1 golfer Rory McIlroy fired his caddy today and has hired a scuba diver to carry his bag.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Janice Hough, Jed york jokes, Jim Harbaugh jokes, Pablo Sandoval jokes, Panda jokes, SAE jokes #cantfixstupid
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March 8, 2015
Apparently Frank Gore is planning to sign with the Eagles. Will the last 49ers fan favorite to leave Levi’s Stadium please turn out the lights?
You know you’re not in Kansas, or the San Francisco Bay Area, anymore, when the first sign you see at United Airlines check-in is “If you are traveling with a firearm…” (Phoenix, AZ)
Selection Sunday for March Madness is March 15. Meaning most Americans have less than one week before we can start passionately caring about teams we didn’t know existed before.
And now the latest rumor out of Santa Clara, Jayson Braddock of SportsTalk 790 in Houston says the SF 49ers are trying to trade Colin Kaepernick. “49ers” may soon refer to the price in cents people will have paid for tickets.
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So does the Dolphins’ signing of #NdamukongSuh mean they are really putting their foot down on bullying?
Two American tourists were arrested and charged with carving their initials into the Colesseum in Rome. And we can’t even put it down to testosterone poisoning. They are young women, ages 21 and 25.
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The cherry on the stupid top of the tourists who carved their initials into the Colosseum: These two idiot women TOOK A SELFIE with their handiwork. That stampeding sound you hear across the ocean is prosecuting attorneys volunteering to take the case.
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Lindsey Graham today: “You can have every email I’ve ever sent — I’ve never sent one. I don’t know what that makes me.” So maybe Mike Huckabee is right about man co-existing with dinosaurs.
Not defending Hillary Clinton here, but regarding this email flap: One, so how many people on both sides of the aisle got emails from her personal address and no one felt inclined to call her on it and/or go to the media. And two, my sense is that Clinton is smart, and secretive, enough that the things we might really worry about weren’t put in an email.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: 49ers jokes, colosseum jokes, Janice Hough, Jed york jokes, March madness jokes, Ndamukong Suh jokes, Suh jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
January 27, 2015
Once again, NJ & NY see proof why most meteorologists are men: They always overestimate inches. #Snowmageddon2015
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Well, at least this over-hyped storm had one silver lining for New Yorkers: It cancelled the Knicks game.
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And actually Juno did hit New England hard. But So the “Blizzard of the 2015” didn’t turn out to be quite as big a deal in New York and New Jersey as forecasters expected. Will they rename it “Geno?”
(or “Johnny Storm?”)
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As the measles outbreak spreads, have to wonder, if there was a vaccine for Ebola, how many Americans would refuse to use it?
Wonder how many NFL people are longing for the days when the only balls in the bathroom controversy had to do with openly gay players.
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If you go by $$ per minute, Marshawn Lynch’s 4 minutes and 51 seconds on Super Bowl media day might have been one of the best paid interviews of all time. “I’m just here so I won’t get fined.” Because he probably saved fines of at least $250,000.
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Former NY Giants defensive coordinator Perry Fewell, interviewed to be the 49ers defensive backs coach. But he turned SF down and took the same position with Washington. How toxic an owner do you have to be to make Dan Snyder look good?
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Bus to hell time. A Nashville jury has convicted two ex-Vanderbilt football players of raping a former student inside a dorm room. Wonder if both men now wish they’d gone to Florida State?
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Sometimes all technology does is give people more power to embrace their idiocy. A 22 yr-old Texas man is in jail after he posted on FB, “So I have 16 warrants right now. Lol they know where I’m at tho, so it must not be TOO bad.” #cantfixstupid
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New England CB Brandon Browner told ESPN “I’m going to tell my teammates to go hit (Sherman’s) elbow, go hit (Thomas’s) shoulder. Try to break it if you can.” But the NFL is okay with the comments, because Browner didn’t put it in terms of a bounty?
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from T.C. “When Elin heard that Tom Brady was possibly cheating, she immediately sent Gisele that famous 9 iron.”
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James Caan has filed for divorce from his wife for the third time in ten years. “Dude, make up your mind”, said Brett Favre.
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Michelle Obama did not wear a headscarf Tuesday in Saudi Arabia, where local women must cover their heads. Over at FOX News heads must have exploded as they were all no doubt ready to complain that she didn’t show respect for Muslim customs….
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #cantfixstupid, 49ers jokes, blizzard jokes, deflate gate, Florida State jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, juno jokes, measles jokes, Saudi Arabia jokes, snow jokes
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January 15, 2015
Rex Ryan, in his introductory press conference as coach of the Buffalo Bills, told fans “it’s been 15 years” since the playoffs. “Well, get ready. We’re going.” So does Rex have a special contact to help with tickets?
Less than enthusiastic reaction for a potential third run: “If Mitt Romney is the answer, what is the question? And “Romney is a man of admirable personal character, but his political profile is, well, protean.” This from an editorial in that wacky leftist publication, the Wall Street Journal.
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Actor Jeff Goldblum, 62, will become a first-time dad, as his wife, Emilie Livingston, 31, is pregnant. These things do make some sense, the baby’s feedings should coincide nicely with Goldblum’s middle of the night bathroom runs.
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Why there is no satire. Ted Cruz has been named chair of the House Subcommittee on “Space, Science and Competitiveness.” Having Ted Cruz chair a Science committee is like having Bill Clinton chair a committee on Abstinence.
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Oregon’s #MarcusMariota has declared for the draft. Good news for #NFL teams, and for the rest of the #Pac12 .
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Ah, who says the San Antonio Spurs aren’t a wild and crazy bunch. Why, they visited the White House today, and Tim Duncan showed up WITHOUT A TIE.
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A South Carolina mother reported her son missing this week. She last saw him in June 1995 when he went “to follow the Grateful Dead.” Sounds like the son wasn’t the only “Dead Head” in the family.
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Rosie Perez is out as co-host of “The View.”. Wow, “The View” is still on?
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Two men have become the first in history to reach the top of El Capitan’s Dawn Wall without bolts or climbing tools. It took them over two weeks. A lot of men read this and think “Awesome.” And a lot of women think “Why?”
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The SF 49ers will apparently hire defensive line coach Jim Tomsula as their new coach, over a host of other candidates including defensive coordinator Vic Fangio, who has been Tomsula’s superior. Looks like the circus is coming to town early this year.
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So two questions on the 49ers hiring Jim Tomsula as head coach: How many years is the contract. And how many years into the contract will this new Jim coach until he and the team “decide to go in different directions?”
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So a new marijuana spray will be on sale in Colorado this week, that claims to help women have better sex. Well, maybe, or maybe the sex stays mediocre but women then eat enough chocolate that they don’t care.
Alternative Monday headline “Obama blows off Cybersecurity Summit preparation for expensive and disruptive selfie opportunity in Paris.” Which is of course what Fox News would have written had the President taken Air Force One and his massive security detail to France for the Unity march this weekend.
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From Marc Ragovin “Several NY TV stations are not showing the cover of the current issue of Charlie Hebdo, citing their policies of not airing material that some viewers might find offensive. And yet they continue to show Knicks’ games highlights.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Charlie Hebdo jokes, Janice Hough, marijuana jokes, Rex Ryan jokes, Romney jokes, Ted Cruz jokes, tomsula jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
January 1, 2015
Looked last night like #TCU is just a little upset about being left out of the College Football playoff…
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And Wisconsin, the team that lost 59 to 0 against Ohio State just beat Auburn. Tell me again about SEC supremacy?
Defensive coordinator Jim Haslett is out at Washington. During his 5-year tenure, the defense has finished a collective 29th in the NFL total yards and 30th in points per game. Talk about a job opening where there’s nowhere to go but up.
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Gwyneth Paltrow, who “consciously uncoupled” from Chris Martin this year, now said in an interview “there are times when I think it would have been better if we had stayed married….” Two words for Gwyneth “nobody cares.”
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Ndamukong Suh won his suspension appeal for twice stepping on Aaron Rodgers by saying his feet were cold and numb, and he couldn’t tell the difference between the QB’s feet and the ground.. So while he plans this week’s excuse has someone warned Suh that Dallas has a retractable roof?
Rex Ryan is apparently on the 49ers interview list as a possible new head coach. So Christmas may not be over for San Francisco area comedy writers.
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Jed York doesn’t think the uncertain coaching situation all season with Jim Harbaugh was a distraction. So presume the reason that the 49ers are interviewing Rex Ryan is that York thinks the team might have performed better being distracted?
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In the Southern California mountains over 150 people were rescued when a snowstorm caught them in their cars. And in the East Coast and Midwest that sound you hear is giggling.
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Seattle DE Michael Bennett says that QB’s aren’t treated the same as other players. “If I get knocked to the ground, the referee just steps over me and says, ‘That’s part of the game.’ If Peyton Manning falls to the ground, the referee helps him get up. I thought everybody was equal, but that’s a lie.” And in related news, Bennett has just figured out that the Pope is Catholic?
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UNC says they have fired a professor after a report found fake classes allowed over 3,000 athletes to inflate their GPS from 1993-2011. (She allegedly helped women’s basketball players enroll in the “courses”) Of course I am sure none of the other current faculty and athletic department had anything to do with this scandal. #sarcasm
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John McCain, who was censured by the Arizona GOP last year for being “insufficiently conservative” is apparently purging Tea Party opponents from state party offices. Every once in a while McCain reminds me of why I used to like him.
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In Peachtree City, Georgia a woman is in critical condition and her police chief husband is on leave after he says he accidentally shot her twice. Bringing up the question again “How do you stop a good guy with a gun?”
(As my friend Jim Barach asked ? “ccidentally” shot her twice? I guess he thought he missed with the first accident…”)
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Chick-fil-A has reported a credit card breach at some of their restaurants. Okay, the sandwiches start at $3. Who uses a credit card at Chick-fil-A?
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Three people were injured outside the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Eve when winds uprooted pop-up tents outside the stadium. And Stanford and USC fans alike could unite in thanking their teams for not putting them in that position.
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Idina Menzel missed some high notes during her performance of “Let it Go” on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in Times Square last night. Of course the wind chill made it 15 degrees. Who knew “Frozen” would turn out to be a documentary?
#RoseBowl viewers who have never watched Oregon play before have to wonder, where do the #Ducks plug in their uniforms?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Frozen jokes, Gwyneth Paltrow jokes, Janice Hough, Jed york jokes, Redskins jokes, Rex Ryan jokes, rose bowl jokes, SEC jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
December 30, 2014
Oops, the Detroit Free Press printed a Jim Harbaugh to UM story on their cover. Except they used a picture of JOHN Harbaugh. Well, okay, they used a photo of the wrong brother. Many Americans think in 2000 we elected the wrong brother as our President.
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Two men were arrested today after a nearly 3 hour police chase that started when they stole San Francisco Chronicle newspaper delivery truck. Many are wondering, “What’s the value of stealing a newspaper delivery truck?” Still more are wondering “Who knew they still delivered newspapers?
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The NY Jets fired coach Rex Ryan and GM John Idzik. Owner Woody Johnson said he has already reached out to potential candidates. Wonder if he called the NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board). They have experience dealing with train wrecks.
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Ndamukong Suh was suspended for the Lions’ playoff game for stepping on Aaron Rodgers’ leg. Suh is appealing, saying it was unintentional, and besides he knows millions of Americans were hoping he would step on Tony Romo.
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Lane Kiffin, now offensive coordinator at Alabama, said he “definitely” plans on returning to the Crimson Tide for a second season. Translation, “unless I get a better offer.”
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Texas A&M played West Virginia, and Oklahoma played Clemson Monday. In two of the bigger “We-expected-a-much-better-season” bowls.
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The 6-10 Atlanta Falcons fired coach Mike Smith. What? After the team came only one game from making the playoffs…..
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Not saying that it wasn’t time for Jim Harbaugh to move on from SF. As three years seems to be about his shelf life. But can we name a top football coach who doesn’t have a least a somewhat arrogant and irritating personality? Or any former top coach for that matter?
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Bus to hell time: Reports indicate that debris from “a red and white plane” which is likely the missing Air Asia jet has been spotted. Sad news for families, and for CNN, as the network had been hoping the plane would be lost for at least a week.
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Meanwhile, over at Fox News, co-host Anna Kooiman suggested that the metric system could be to blame at Air Asia. “Even when we think about temperature, it’s Fahrenheit or Celsius, it’s kilometers or miles. You know, everything about their training could be similar, but different.” And when an FAA expert a bigger difference was foreign pilots’ greater reliance on autopilot, she responded “It’s not just a difference in the way that we measure things? Is it not as safe in that part of the world?”
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Spectacular. By suing a 22 year old kid with a website, Skiplagged.com, that probably wasn’t going anywhere, United and Orbitz have taken “hidden-city ticketing” from an odd and limited strategy that only some travel agents and frequent fliers knew about, to a trending item on social media.
(Basically the idea is simple. If a nonstop flight is expensive between two cities, book a connecting flight on to a cheaper city and then get off the plane. For example, SF to Houston is expensive, so book a ticket SF via Houston to Orlando. But you can’t check bags, and if you put in your mileage number they track the no-show so you can’t get miles, and it only works one-way at a time. For starters. Still, thanks to the lawsuit and publicity, millions of people have now been turned onto the concept.
C.C. Sabathia apparently came unglued at Newark Airport this past weekend when he and 11 friends, all booked in first class, showed up 15 minutes before departure for a flight to Jamaica, and United told him he had no chance to make it through security in time. On brighter notes, no arrests were made, and a lot of people who thought they had had no chance for a upgrade suddenly got lucky.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Air Asia jokes, bowl jokes, Fox News jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Michigan jokes, newspaper jokes
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December 29, 2014
Many SF 49ers fans were disappointed with this season, and now they won’t have Jim Harbaugh to kick around anymore. So soon the team can go back to the halcyon days of Mike Singletary and Mike Nolan.
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Statement from the SF 49ers: “Jim and I have come to the conclusion that it is in our mutual best interest to move in different directions.” Well, it sounds better than “conscious uncoupling.”
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There will be a lot of changes for Jim Harbaugh as he returns to the coaching ranks. For starters, at Michigan he’s going to have to figure out something warmer (and blue-er) than his regular long-sleeved black shirt.
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More than 100 people gathered in Times Square today for the eighth annual Good Riddance Day. Where attendees used a shredder and mallet to get rid of bad memories. Wonder how many showed up with NY Giants and Jets stuff?
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Apparently a contributing factor, if not the reason, for Josh Gordon’s suspension, was a party Johnny Manziel threw Friday night. (Gordon was then AWOL for the team’s Saturday walk-through.) Who says Johnny Football isn’t a leader already?
Cleveland owner Jimmy Haslam said some of the Browns’ young players have “disrespected” the team. “We’re going to work with them — hopefully they grow up. But if they can’t grow up and they can’t be responsible to the their teammates and the coaches and our great fans, then they won’t be with the Cleveland Browns.” So anyone want to take the first guess in the “Johnny Manziel trade date” pool?
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This weekend police were called and arrests were made over fights in food courts at three separate malls, Arden Fair in Sacramento, Chicago Ridge Mall in Illinois and Opry Mills in Nashville. So what the heck are those food courts serving?
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How up-to-date is Al-Qaeda? Their most recent magazine, released last week, called for individual jihadists to bomb Western carriers. Including United Airlines, American, Delta, and Continental.
Headline on Foxnews.com “Attention: Dish has blocked Fox News. Switch TV providers now. ” Hmm…. So how long until Dish starts using that headline as an ad on Msnbc.com and Huffington Post etc?
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No real surprise at this point, Jeb Bush leads a new GOP presidential poll with 23%. Christie is second at 13% and Ben Carson has 7%. I think I speak for many Americans when I say about Carson – “Who?”
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So the NFL is running their ad “Domestic violence and sexual assault are tough for everyone to talk about” in game with Ben Rothlisberger leading Steelers into playoffs #irony
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From T.C. “I just hacked into Sony Pictures computers and found a movie to be released on Monday. It’s about NFL coaching brothers Rex and Rob called “Saving Ryan’s Privates”.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Browns jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, Manziel jokes, Michigan joke, NFL jokes
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December 8, 2014
The Browns may start Johnny Manziel at QB Sunday over Brian Hoyer against Cincinnati. Makes some sense. If Cleveland can’t make the playoffs, they’ll be at least more likely to make ESPN headlines.
William and Kate are on their first visit to New York City. Wonder if the Prince at some point has leaned over to his wife and whispered “Thank God this all isn’t our problem anymore.”
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Damn. Apparently a security guard was shot and seriously wounded during an post-game argument between 49ers and Raiders fans outside a San Jose bar. Well, it’s a good thing for public safety neither team’s fans will have anything to argue about during the playoffs.
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Well, all he did was basically show you can win a World Series with one starting pitcher. Even if he didn’t get a hit himself. Congrats Madison Bumgarner, Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year.
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At time of posting, reportedly Jon Lester is deciding between offers from the Chicago Cubs and the SF Giants. Wonder if the Giants would do something dastardly, like sending Lester videos of games when the wind is blowing out at Wrigley Field?
34 years ago tonight was really the day “the music died”, as John Lennon was fatally shot in New York. Harder to believe for many of us, people who were born after Lennon’s murder, are old enough to have children who know the Beatles music. #Timeswingedchariot
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After Oakland’s upset 23-14 win over SF, Raiders LB Sio Moore took to Instagram to refer to Colin Kaepernick as a “Freakin chump.” Not a huge Kap fan, but maybe Moore should be a little more restrained with his trash talking, considering his team is still 2-11.
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Not that I’m generally a soccer fan, but congratulations to the LA Galaxy on winning the MLS Cup. Guess having Robbie Rogers, who is openly gay, on the team, didn’t hurt the locker room too much.
A massive fire in a residential complex under construction basically shut down the 101 and 110 in Los Angeles Monday morning. So for commuters on those freeways it was basically a Monday commute as usual.
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Ralph Baer,,92, who invented the world’s first video game console, has died. In his honor, mourners at his funeral will spend the entire service playing on their smartphones.
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Baylor coach Art Briles is complaining about no Big 12 team in the College Football Playoff. And five power conferences, four playoff teams was always going to be a problem. But just maybe the Bears might want to up their non-conference schedule from Buffalo, SMU and Northwestern State. (The NY Jets might be available.)
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, college football jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, playoff jokes, Raiders jokes, William and Kate jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
December 7, 2014
So the answer to ‘Who’s got it better than us?” is now “Even the Raiders?” #SFvsOAK
Bright spot Sunday for Jim Harbaugh. He had to like the looks of the team he’ll probably be coaching next year. #SFvsOAK
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After Sunday’s shut out loss, finally an appropriate new name for D.C.s #NFL team – the Washington Trainwrecks. #Redskins
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TCU beat Iowa State 55-3, and fell out of the College Football Playoffs. A joint crying-towel party will no doubt be arranged for Horned Frogs fans along with fans of whichever NFL team has to go on the road to face the eventual winner of the NFL South.
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Another game with last-minute heroics from Andrew Luck. Although it’s not impossible to stop him from winning a game late – just ask David Shaw. (Fiesta Bowl, 2012. No, Stanford fans aren’t bitter….)
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LeBron James, on his Cavs playing tonight in front of Prince William and Kate. “The stuff that you read about, people like them are only in books growing up. And to hear that they’re coming to town to see me play and they want to see me do what I do best, it’s a huge honor.” Shocking statement to many – NBA players read books growing up?
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The supposed reason the BCS has a four-team playoff instead of eight is that extending the season would interfere with studies. Yes, and they said this with a straight face.
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The Times (UK) will apparently publish a full report Friday of a passenger plane in July nearly being hit by a drone at Heathrow airport. In Europe, this might lead to restrictions on buying drones in shops. In the U.S. airlines may use it to institute a “drone-avoidance” fee.
A Las Vegas officer fatally shot a robbery suspect Sunday morning inside the Rio Hotel and Casino after he allegedly didn’t comply with their commands and reached for his waist. In good news for police around the country, the suspect had a gun and was white.
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Defeated Louisiana senator Mary Landrieu, in her concession speech, said she didn’t regret her vote for Obamacare, which the GOP attacked her on. “This is something to be proud of, and I’m glad we fought for it.” Maybe if Landrieu had been defending her votes and her President all along, the outcome might have been different.
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With all the controversy about the ACA – aka Obamacare – many Americans lose sight of the fact that before this bill, most Presidents since Truman had tried and failed to enact healthcare legislation. And the GOP sure didn’t have an alternative. #sourgrape
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, BCS jokes, Colllege Football playoff jokes, Janice Hough, Raiders jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
December 1, 2014
Here we go, #CyberMonday. Where merchants offer X% off on items they may or may not have raised by X or X plus Y % last week.
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The airport security line at Midway Airport reportedly was over 1.2 miles long Sunday am. Let’s hope the airlines at least gave passengers that extra frequent flier mile.
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Some of the St. Louis Rams are being criticized for walking out before their game against Oakland in the “hands up, don’t shoot” position used by Ferguson protesters.
Two questions. 1. Where’s the “free speech” crowd who defended the “Duck Dynasty” patriarch and others on this one? 2. Wonder how many of these players have been pulled over for “driving while black?”
Personally, while I decry looting and property destruction, I don’t have a problem with this peaceful protest. And then as my friend Mary S said “They had the right to make a peaceful statement, then proceeded to beat the holy crap out of the Raiders…”
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All these interesting early games in the NFL Sunday, and Northern California got to see the 52-0 Rams-Raiders game….. Can TV ratings be negative numbers?
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#Raiders today made a strong case for the #NFL instituting a mercy rule. #OAKvsSTL
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Have to wonder how did these Raiders ever beat the Chiefs? Heck, they aren’t looking like they could beat Alabama. #OAKvsSTL
Los Angeles fans don’t have an NFL team. After today, New York fans don’t think they have one either.
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There are rumors that the 49ers might trade Jim Harbaugh to another NFL team for a draft pick – and the top two teams and the Raiders and the Jets!? And comedy writers are thinking “Christmas is coming early.
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Mike Golic was one of only 3 of 14 ESPN experts to pick the Eagles over the Cowboys, and the ONLY one to pick the Saints over the Steelers. Maybe a karmic reward from the football gods for enough of a sense of humor to do that semi-nude picture?
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Janay Rice who attended her husband’s June meetings with Roger Goodell, says of the NFL commissioner, “I can’t say he’s telling the truth.” Give Goodell credit, it really takes talent to come out of a situation like this looking worse than the guy who knocked out a woman.
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Meanwhile, in Canada, the CFL Grey Cup was Sunday night. Hamilton vs. Calgary. Many Americans are thinking “what’s the Grey Cup?” Still others are thinking “Where’s Hamilton?
UAB – the .University of Alabama at Birmingham -may be about to shut down their football program. And after the last month, have to wonder how many Notre Dame alums are saying “want our team instead?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, airline jokes, Cyber Monday jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Raiders jokes, Rams jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
November 28, 2014
This is a picture of a mostly sold-out Rose Bowl in the 4th quarter of today’s UCLA-Stanford game.
To be fair, wonder how many Stanford fans were not only happily watching the game, but wondering, Who is this football team and where have they been all year? #nerdnation #stanvsucla
Stanford’s David Shaw was like a different coach today. Almost like he’s auditioning for a hypothetical open local #NFL job. #stanvsucla #fearthetree
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Got to wonder, if the elevator “incident” happened after one of his Pro Bowl seasons, would he have been signed by now?
#JedYork tweeted at the end of the SF-Seattle game “Thank you #49ersfaithful for coming out strong tonight. This performance wasn’t acceptable. I apologize for that.” Wonder how the tweet was received by both fans left in the stadium.
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Retailers in Denver had shoppers lining up for “Green Friday” marijuana sales. Of course, wonder how many folks will show for those sales Saturday, or Sunday, or next week….
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Black Friday crowds were apparently thinner than average today.. Which might mean Americans weren’t shopping as seriously as usual. Or might mean more of us were sitting home today, drinking, eating leftovers, watching TV and shopping online.
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So SF Giants fans are all whining about their rough week because Pablo Sandoval left. And SF 49ers fans are just thinking “Oh, STFU.”
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British Airways is going to try to save money by standardizing lavatories in their fleet. Wonder how long it will take U.S. airlines to try to save money by just replacing lavatories with disposable plastic bottles.
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Apparently HealthCare.gov got off to a much better start in the first week of its second year, with 220,000 new signups. Which means the GOP will be in even a bigger rush to repeal Obamacare now that it looks like it’s working.
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Thanksgiving is over for another year. And pretty amazing job in retrospect by the NFL. Three games, three turkeys.
Okay, you think you had a tense Thanksgiving with your loved ones. In Pennsylvania a man is recovering in the hospital after his girlfriend woke up from a nap to discover he had started eating dinner without her. So she stabbed him in the chest. (Of course, in Florida or Texas she’d have probably shot him. #smallmercies)
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If the #SEC is that good in football why has the team they added from #Big12 made it to the championship game 2 years in a row? #Mizzou
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, black friday jokes, Janice Hough, marijuana jokes, ray rice jokes, Stanford jokes, UCLA jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
November 28, 2014
The three NFL games on Thanksgiving were all bad enough some people found themselves forced to actually talk to their relatives.
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FOX is advertising a post-game “Cause for Paws” tonight – “An All-Star Dog Spectacular.”. So are they doing a show on the #NFCSouth
Were the #49ers tonight trying to earn a transfer to the #NFCSouth?
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49ers coach Jim Harbaugh at halftime. “We’re going to show up this half.”. So no one told San Francisco they needed to show up in the first half?
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49ers owner Jed York tweeted out at the end of the game “Thank you #49ersfaithful for coming out strong tonight. This performance wasn’t acceptable. I apologize for that.” Wonder if both fans left in the stands appreciated the sentiment?
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As for the middle game, it would have taken a lot more than one #buttfumble today to save the #Cowboys. #PHIvsDAL
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There are moments when I think it would have been nice to have a daughter. Then I watch the #Dallascowboys cheerleaders. And think – their parents must be so proud.
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In Siberia, when an airplane’s brakes froze, passengers helped push their own plane on a snow-covered runway. And in the U.S., airlines thought… hmm, how can we use this idea to cut costs this winter?
Oil prices fell to under $70 a barrel today. Which means somehow airlines will find a way to spin that to increase fuel surcharges.
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Just a thought. Many people are upset about the idea of Thanksgiving shopping because it means others are working on the holiday. But no one’s been screaming about folks working at airlines, hotels, restaurants, and, if you’ve forgotten something for dinner, grocery stores.
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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers apparently served colored water masquerading as tequila. Makes sense. The Bucs are also masquerading as an NFL team.
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But really? What were they thinking? If someone wants to drink colored water there’s always Bud Light.
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The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was a success today with no balloon malfunctions. And on a holiday it would be uncharitable to make a Chris Christie joke here.
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P.D.James, 94 has passed away. If you’re a mystery reader who knows her books, you know how sad this is. If you’re a mystery reader who hasn’t read her books… you have a lot of potential treats in store. #AdamDagliesh
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Bus to hell time. A man hiking in New Jersey took a series of five pictures on his cellphone of a black bear before the bear attacked and mauled him to death. Guess he should have stopped at four?
(my friend Marty B. calls it “a Kodiak moment.”)
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, airline jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Thanksgiving jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
November 24, 2014
StubHub is not allowing sales of tickets given away for the Monday night Bills-Jets game, saying their policy is often not to allow sales of tickets the seller has obtained for free. Well, that and Stubhub doesn’t think they’ll make much money on the game anyway.
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But meanwhile, scalpers are reportedly asking up to $125 for “free tickets” to the Buffalo-NY game in Detroit Monday night. And Jets fans are thinking “clearly buyers haven’t seen our team play.”
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Joey Chestnut has won a turkey-eating contest in Connecticut, eating 9.5 pounds of meat off a 20 pound turkey in 10 minutes. Wonder what Chestnut then did for a main course.
Lindsey Graham said of the GOP-led EIGHTH Benghazi House investigation findings, “I think the report is full of crap,” A new definition of infinity might be how many investigations it would take to convince Senator Graham that the Obama administration really didn’t lie to cover up what happened.
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#SF49ers both won and accomplished the near impossible Sunday. They made the Washington #Redskins look like a decent #NFL team.
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A student organizing protests against a proposed UC Berkeley tuition hike was quoted as saying that “the public university will be more expensive than Ivy League for out-of-state students. What will be the incentive for out-of-state students to come here if it’s more expensive than a private school?” Uh, leaving football out of it, maybe if they get admitted to Cal and not an Ivy League?
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If the Saints can beat the Ravens on MNF they will take control of the NFL South with an impressive record of 5-6.
Or there’s this tweet from @NOTSportsCenter):
NFC South Week 12 results-
Falcons: Lost to Browns
Bucs: Lost to Bears
Panthers: Lost to Bye week
Saints: Waiting till tomorrow to lose
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Tough question of the day. If you saw both Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones and Redskins’ owner Dan Snyder both about to be set upon by a pack of starving wolves, which man would you point the wolves to first?
Be careful what you wish for. Stanford became bowl eligible by beating Cal yesterday in the Big Game. And could be headed to the Cactus Bowl. The #6 choice from the Pac 12 vs the #5 choice from the Big 12. In Glendale, AZ, on January 2. So their reward could be a “who-cares” game, which would require practicing all the way through the holiday season…..
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Trader Joe’s $8.99 potted Amaryllis bulb LITERALLY grows enough that you can see a difference overnight. Are we sure that the store isn’t using something illegal and performance enhancing? #simplepleasures
From T.C. “NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says that he is not out of touch with player Personal Conduct policies. Goodell then announced that he was suspending Bill Cosby indefinitely.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Janice Hough, Lindsay Graham jokes, MNF jokes, NFL South jokes, redkskins jokes, Thanksgiving jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 10, 2014
So much for the #Lakers’ perfect season.
And Charles Barkley’s favorite restaurants are now going “Our long national nightmare is over.”
Even #Cubs fans feel sorry for #Bears fans tonight. #GBvsChi
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T.C. (from British Columbia) suggests that most Americans turned off the Packers-Bears rout at half-time. Those who didn’t, who weren’t Green Bay fans, probably thought they had accidentally turned on a replay of a SEC game vs. a nonconference opponent.
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In a crazy world small signs of stability can be a good thing. To that end the Oakland Raiders are doing their part to be the one #NFL team that consistently sucks.
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Mark Cuban mused that the Oklahoma Thunder at this point might be better off tanking the season in a “race to the bottom”. And the Raiders are thinking. “Well, that’s one NFL race we’ve won.”
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Many thought the 49ers’ Aldon Smith would have his suspension reduced. This didn’t happen, reportedly because he didn’t do all his “counseling protocol.” So much for all those who say it doesn’t matter if athletes learn to go to class. #cantfixstupid
Not sure if the SF 49ers are going to the playoffs, but after the “Hail Mary” offensive pass interference penalty he drew on Jimmy Graham, CB Perrish Cox has reportedly been offered a tryout by several professional soccer teams.
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If football games were 58 minutes long #Saints would be midseason favorites to win #superbowl. #SFvsNO #cantfinish
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Freed missionary Kenneth Bae, back in the U.S. from North Korea, said “It’s been an amazing two years, I learned a lot.” Like maybe not to lead tour groups to North Korea?
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Arctic temperature will reach across much of the U.S. this week, with even a chance of snow in D.C. Proving some were right when they said hell would freeze over before we’d see a GOP landslide this year.
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One last thought on last Tuesday’s election. Whatever you think of President Obama’s candidates from both parties tried to hard to distance themselves from him. voters may well have figured at least they’d go for the honest ones.
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Label notation of the year award: “May have been processed on equipment that was also used to process nuts.” On a jar of peanut butter.
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, GOP jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, NFL jokes, political jokes, Raiders jokes, Saints jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 4, 2014
An increasing number of #NFL teams seem to be playing like they’re auditioning for #TheWalkingDead
#NYGiants new slogan? “We s*ck less than the #NYJets.
Interesting matchup next Sunday. The #SF49ers, who after their start are furious at now being 4-4. Against the #Saints, who after their start are thrilled to be 4-4.
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#NYJets have a bye week. Which means that #GenoSmith will be about as productive as usual on fantasy teams.
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A last thought about #SF49ers goal line debacle yesterday. Some wonder why Harbaugh didn’t give the ball to Frank Gore. And Stanford fans remember Big Game 2009 and the Cardinal having a Heisman level RB and a chance to win at the end. Harbaugh didn’t give it to Gerhart either. #whatmebitter
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Carmelo Anthony says that the Knicks are over last year’s “bad energy.” So that means NY is ready to create some new bad energy.?
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A last thought about #SF49ers goal line debacle yesterday. Some wonder why Harbaugh didn’t give the ball to Frank Gore. And Stanford fans remember Big Game 2009 and the Cardinal having a Heisman level RB and a chance to win at the end. Harbaugh didn’t give it to Gerhart either. #whatmebitter
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Berkeley students are circulating a petition to get the university to cancel Bill Maher’s appearance at commencement. And somewhere the 1964 founders of the “Free Speech Movement” are weeping. Or they should be.
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A couple was actually married on a Southwest flight from Nashville to Dallas this weekend. Wonder if all was well until the bride reclined her seat into his and the groom filed for divorce?
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Red Lobster, which had added non-seafood items in hopes of attracting customers who didn’t like fish, is jettisoning some of those new dishes and adding more lobster. Makes sense. Because for those wanting mediocre chain food that isn’t seafood, the market is pretty saturated.
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Governor Jerry Brown is expected to win re-election handily tomorrow, despite having barely campaigned at all. Of course, one reason Brown might be so popular as that Californians haven’t seen him nonstop campaigning and running television ads.
From Marc Ragovin – ” Kenyan runners Wilson Kipsang and Mary Keitany won the NYC marathon. Upon crossing the finish line, Chris Christie ordered them to shut up as he and Andrew Cuomo threw them into quarantine tents.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, NY Giants jokes, NY Jets jokes, Red Lobster jokes, Southwest jokes
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November 3, 2014
As reported by the the SF Chronicle, apparently before the Giants World Series Parade the SF Police were chatting with Madison Bumgarner and along with all the congrats someone said “If there is anything we can do for you.” Madbum’s response, “Anything? Can I ride one of y’alls horses in the parade? After some discussion and risk assessment, the answer was something, well, not exactly DURING the parade.”
Meanwhile, the #SF49ers clearly needed #MadBum
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Small silver lining for #49ers fans? At least #Kaepernick ‘s last play wasn’t a butt fumble.
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Saddest thing for #NYJets fans about a sad season? That win against the #Raiders may have cost them #1 draft pick. Either that, or watching Mark Sanchez win in Philly?
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Washington coach Jay Gruden blasted an ESPN report today that said RG III has teammates who seem to disrespect him, saying it was “amateurish.” Well, if anyone should know about amateurish, it’s the coach of the Redskins.
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Silver lining with Stanford’s underwhelming football season. Players, coaches and fans get to celebrate New Year’s Eve at home.
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So one might think Oregon’s rout of Stanford might propel the Ducks into the top four for a projected BCS playoff spot. Nope, they’re still behind idle Alabama. #nopac12respect
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Clocks turned back last night. Meaning hard-core #Lakers fans had another hour to not sleep.
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Breaking news, a Kenyan has won the New York City Marathon” Wouldn’t it be more news if a Kenyan DIDN’T win the New York City Marathon?
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Not the Onion. A Tucson pastor was woken up by police at 2am because a member of his congregation said she thought she had Ebola and her pastor had returned from Africa in September. He had been to Zambia, which is further from West Africa than San Francisco is from Washington, D.C. #cantfixstupid
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Yet another example of why Trader Joe’s leaves other grocery stores in the dust. Saw a package of “Iced Cranberry Orange Scone Cookies” near the checkout. Told the cashier, those sound good. She said, “They are, want to try one?” Opened a box, gave me one, and offered them to anyone in the area. Sold about five boxes of cookies on the spot.
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Maybe there was too much hype for the #DENvsNE game? Peyton Manning might have thought he was back in the #SuperBowl?
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A new poll shows Charlie Crist 7 points ahead of Gov. Rick Scott in Florida. Wow. Might have to retire half my Florida jokes.
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From Jerry Perisho: Asked if she was going to the polls on Tuesday, Kim Kardashian said, “No, but I’m opening a new store in Warsaw, next spring.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, college football jokes, ESPN jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, madbum jokes, Stanford jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 7, 2014
The NFL now has a sponsorship deal with Bose which will ban players from wearing “Beats by Dre” headphones during interviews and games. Violators will be fined. Good to know Roger Goodell and the league are taking on the tough issues.
Michael Phelps was suspended from USA swimming events for six months following his DUI. Many Americans were shocked. In non-Olympic years there are swimming events?
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The conservative leaning Supreme Court Monday decided to reject requests from five states to immediately review their gay marriage bans. Maybe because now even GOP candidates told them it was a losing issue?
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Michigan State’s AD is upset with the 13,000 students who bought season tickets but mostly left early when the Spartans had a 27-3 lead in a cold wet fourth quarter against Nebraska. He said changes will be made. Right. Like selling the same tickets for a lot more money to alums who will also leave early in such conditions.
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The Jaguars apologized for their mascot mocking the Steelers’ “Terrible Towels” during yesterday’s game with a sign that said “Towels carry Ebola.” Of course the Steelers could have responded that Jacksonville was safe because the team couldn’t catch anything.
A nurse in Spain has contracted Ebola from two patients who returned from Africa. So will Rick Perry demand now that the U.S. stop all airline flights from Europe?
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Madison Bumgarner inexplicably tried to a bunt to third with runners on first and second Monday, and when the throw went wide two runs scored. Although later catcher and former high school valedictorian Buster Posey said he told him to do it. #smartmenfoolishchoices
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Monday was a painful day for #SFGiants fans. Although nice now to watch #BrianWilson and think “no longer our circus, not our monkey.” #Dodgers
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If misery loves company #SFGiants and #Dodgers are having a bromance over their 7th innings today. #NLDS
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According to the SF Chronicle, the principal of a private Marin County high school was arrested last weekend “after he was found in a Sacramento County motel room with large quantities of drugs and a passed-out woman roughly 30 years younger than him” Wonder how long it will take for the made-for-TV movie.
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So I know about the Rolaids reliever award. Are the Dodgers trying to challenge the Tigers for the Arson Squad award? #bullpenwhatbullpen?
Two men were arrested and charged with felony assault after a fight in the men’s bathroom at Levi’s Stadium before the 49ers game Sunday. Allegedly over ‘impatience for an open stall’ . Sounds like the worries over the new stadium just being filled with chardonnay swilling techies might be unfounded.
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So anyone who was surprised that Buck Showalter intentionally walked the potential winning run on base in the bottom of the 9th Sunday in Detroit clearly doesn’t remember 1998, when Buck intentionally walked Barry Bonds. With the bases loaded. (He won that game too.)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, bullpen jokes, Dodgers jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Michael Phelps jokes, NLDS jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 