Posted tagged ‘ray rice jokes’

Free space?

February 13, 2015

Ruth Bader Ginsburg said she dozed off during the President’s SOTU because she “was not 100% sober.” Cool. So even Supreme Court members play that drinking game!

 

Unluckiest men on ‪#‎Fridaythe13th‬?. Those who have forgotten ‪#‎ValentinesDay‬ is  #Saturdaythe14th

 

With Boston snowed in for the foreseeable future, and another storm on the way, have to wonder. Is this going to result in an increase in Massachusetts birth rates, or murders? Or both?

A poll shows that for the first time, a majority of New Jersey voters view Chris Christie unfavorably. So does that mean the Governor is starting to look presidential?

 

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman,  who is against legalized sports betting. “Do you want people at football and basketball games rooting for the spread or rooting for their favorite team?” Spoken like a man who hasn’t been to very many football and basketball games.

 

Ray Rice sent an apology letter to Baltimore Ravens fans: “To all the kids who looked up to me, I’m truly sorry for letting you down, but I hope it’s helped you learn that one bad decision can turn your dream into a nightmare. There is no excuse for domestic violence.” Who knows if Rice will play in the NFL again though. Now had he only been involved in a murder, instead….

 

Miami has been picked to host the 2017 MLB All-Star Game. They had been scheduled to host in 2000, but were stripped of the game after their 1997 World Series win and fire sale. So if the Marlins win in 2015 and then repeat the dismantling has baseball threatened to strip them again?

 

 

 

All this scare mongering about illegal immigrants who might be bringing diseases into the U.S.   Wonder how long it will take for the rest of the world, including Europe, to start tightening entry rules for American tourists, since they have no way of knowing which of us are unvaccinated.

Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber has resigned. Saying he has become “a liability to his state.” Well, if that were the criteria there’d be a lot of empty governor’s mansions.

 

A few years ago who had John Daly making more cuts so far in 2015 than Tiger Woods?

Singapore Airlines said yesterday it will reduce its fuel surcharges later this month. U.S. Airlines are thinking of doing the same, as soon as they can figure out new fees to offset the reduction.

Okay, really? The The Philadelphia Eagles issued a statement saying they are not responsible for Riley Cooper being the featured player for February in the team’s official 2015 calendar. Cooper was seen on video in 2013 using racial slurs at a concert. And February is Black History Month. ‪#‎canwealllightenup‬? (no racial slur intended.)

 

From Bill Littletjohn.  “Riley Cooper was the featured player for the Eagles’ Black History Month. Isn’t that like featuring the Patriots’ ball boy in an ad for Big O Tires?”

Where did all the blue people go?

November 28, 2014

This is a picture of a mostly sold-out Rose Bowl in the 4th quarter of today’s UCLA-Stanford game.

 

ucla

 

To be fair,  wonder how many Stanford fans were not only happily watching the game, but wondering, Who is this football team and where have they been all year? ‪#‎nerdnation‬ ‪#‎stanvsucla‬

 

Stanford’s David Shaw was like a different coach today. Almost like he’s auditioning for a hypothetical open local ‪#‎NFL‬ job. ‪#‎stanvsucla‬ ‪#‎fearthetree‬

Got to wonder, if the elevator “incident” happened after one of his Pro Bowl seasons, would he have been signed by now?

 

#‎JedYork‬ tweeted at the end of the SF-Seattle game “Thank you ‪#‎49ersfaithful‬ for coming out strong tonight. This performance wasn’t acceptable. I apologize for that.” Wonder how the tweet was received by both fans left in the stadium.

Retailers in Denver had shoppers lining up for “Green Friday” marijuana sales. Of course, wonder how many folks will show for those sales Saturday, or Sunday, or next week….

 

Black Friday crowds were apparently thinner than average today.. Which might mean Americans weren’t shopping as seriously as usual. Or might mean more of us were sitting home today, drinking, eating leftovers, watching TV and shopping online.

So SF Giants fans are all whining about their rough week because Pablo Sandoval left. And SF 49ers fans are just thinking “Oh, STFU.”

British Airways is going to try to save money by standardizing lavatories in their fleet. Wonder how long it will take U.S. airlines to try to save money by just replacing lavatories with disposable plastic bottles.

Apparently HealthCare.gov got off to a much better start in the first week of its second year, with 220,000 new signups. Which means the GOP will be in even a bigger rush to repeal Obamacare now that it looks like it’s working.

Thanksgiving is over for another year. And pretty amazing job in retrospect by the NFL. Three games, three turkeys.

 

Okay, you think you had a tense Thanksgiving with your loved ones. In Pennsylvania a man is recovering in the hospital after his girlfriend woke up from a nap to discover he had started eating dinner without her. So she stabbed him in the chest. (Of course, in Florida or Texas she’d have probably shot him. ‪#‎smallmercies‬)

If the ‪#‎SEC‬ is that good in football why has the team they added from ‪#‎Big12‬ made it to the championship game 2 years in a row? ‪#‎Mizzou‬

 

No place like dome

September 21, 2014

whodat

For non-Saints fans “Ignorance is no excuse” is the phrase Roger Goodell used when, despite no evidence that Sean Payton knew about the bounty scheme, the NFL commissioner suspended the New Orleans coach for a year.

 

 

Ray Lewis on the Ray Rice situation, ” There’s some things you can cover up and then there’s some things you can’t.” Well, he should know. ‪#‎murder‬

 

The NY Daily News reports a source saying of the June meeting with Rice, Goodelll and others in the NFL “Ray owned it from day one,” said one source of Rice’s descriptions of events. “He went in as if (the tape)existed. Everyone knew it existed. He knew if the commissioner hadn’t already seen it, he would see it.” It really is looking like Rice may come out of this looking better than the NFL commissioner.

On a brighter note for ‪#‎Cal‬ football, losers 49-45 by a last-second Hail Mary;  last year they wouldn’t have HAD a 31-13 lead to blow in the 4th quarter.

 

The Atlanta Braves have been eliminated from the postseason. So they will not be able to continue their streak of not selling out playoff games.

 

#‎NFL‬ proves once again why their ‪#‎overtime‬ rule is as bad a way to end a game as penalty kicks. ‪#‎DENvsSEA‬

 

Jameis Winston will be back has the FSU QB Monday. No word on when Seminoles coach Jimbo Fisher will remove the duct tape from Winston’s mouth.

Tens of thousands of protesters, including many celebrities – RFK, Jr, Al Gore, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sting and Mark Ruffalo for examples -marked in the People’s Climate March in New York today. Wonder how many of the celebs arrived by private plane?

 

Just proving that not all NFL stupid moments involve crimes and coverups:: Detroit Lions LB Stephen Tulloch made a stop against the Green Bay Packers. And when he jumped to celebrate Tulloch tweaked his knee and had to come out of the game.

 

Derek Jeter, interviewed for New York magazine, complained that Hank and Hal Steinbrenner are “not around as much as the Boss was. The Boss would pop in frequently during the course of the season. Hal and Hank, they don’t really come in too often.” And his Yankees’ teammates are thinking “Thanks for giving them the idea, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Decisions, decisions.

September 11, 2014

In South Africa, verdicts can take two days. And in Thursday’s’s first day of the verdict in the Oscar Pistorius trial the judge says Pistorius is not guilty of murder. Wonder if she grew up in Los Angeles?  Or if she wants to move there.

In San Francisco, 49ers announcer Ted Robinson on KNBR-AM said Monday about Janay Rice, “How does she marry him after that? How does she go in front of Goodell? That’s pathetic to me.” And Robinson got suspended two games. The same original suspension Rice got…….

So Ray MacDonald plays after his domestic violence arrest, as Aldon Smith did after his DUI arrest and announcer Ted Robinson gets suspended for his insensitive comments. So is the lesson here in the SF football world, we’ll give you due process on whatever you do as long as you keep your mouth shut?

 

Indiana Pacers star Paul George “I don’t condone hittin women or think it’s coo BUT if SHE ain’t trippin then I ain’t trippin.. Lets keep it movin lol let that man play!” So where’s the app that says “You are a public figure, do you REALLY want to post that?”

Tough Thursday night NFL game for women #SteelersRavens. – the team supporting the alleged rapist against the team that supported the wife beater.

Now according to OTL, several sources are saying Ray Rice told Roger Goodell in June that he had punched his fiancee in an elevator, and “that he was sorry and that it wouldn’t happen again.”. Though the NFL commissioner just said “when we met with Ray Rice and his representatives, it was ambiguous about what actually happened.” Hard to believe, but Rice may come out of this looking better than Goodell.

So is there a 2014 unwritten rule that in Northern California one baseball team must s*ck at all times? #SFGiants #As

Bud Selig today, asked about the Rice/ Goodell situations says that a domestic violence “has been discussed (by MLB), because we’re sensitive to all issues.” Right, another of Selig’s “blue ribbon committees.” Amazed the man hasn’t strained an arm patting himself so hard on the back.

 

Paloaltoonline.com notes that Stanford football is “not ready to push the panic button” after last week’s loss to USC. And based on last week, if the Cardinal offense got close to the panic button, they probably couldn’t hit it.

 

Kanye West went to a hospital emergency room in Australia for “a pretty intense migraine.” About as big a headache as many Americans get hearing about him and Kim?

Sarah Palin on the mess in the Mideast. “War is hell. So go big or go home, Mr. President. Big means bold, confident, wise assurance from a trustworthy Commander-in-Chief that it shall be worth it. Charge in, strike hard, get out. Win.” And just imagine, John McCain wanted this woman to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

 

A 6th-grade teacher in D.C. will apologize to students for asking them to draw comparisons between George W. Bush and Adolph Hitler. So they think she should have asked for comparisons between Cheney and Hitler?

(And yes, I know what she did was flat out wrong as a teacher and she should be reprimanded. Teachers should be held to a higher standard. Joke-writers on the other hand…..)

All the commissioner’s men?

September 10, 2014

40 + years after Watergate and folks still haven’t figured out, coverups are almost always worse than the crime. From the AP: ” A law enforcement official says he sent a video of Ray Rice punching his then-fiancee to an NFL executive three months ago, while league officers have insisted they didn’t see the violent images until this week. The person played The Associated Press a 12-second voicemail from an NFL office number on April 9 confirming the video arrived. A female voice expresses thanks and says: “You’re right. It’s terrible.”

This #RayRice #Goodell mess shows what comes of allowing openly heterosexual men in the #NFL

So the NFL may soon be looking for a new toady to do the owners’ bidding at all times. “I’m available soon” said Bud Selig.

Roger Goodell says his job is not on the line. Because the NFL commissioner doesn’t think there is any video of him looking at the Ray Rice elevator video?

Got to love targeted ads. I’ve been posting enough on Ray Rice that now I’m getting Facebook ads about men who are looking for girlfriends…..

 

 

Scotland is voting on declaring independence from the United Kingdom next week. Whether it works or not maybe someone can give the instructions for such a referendum to Texas Governor Rick Perry.

Jeremy Lin apparently pranked people last month at Madame Tussaud’s by pretending to be a wax statue. Even so Lin looked more mobile than James Harden.

 

Five casinos in Atlantic City have closed or are planning to close by November of this year. And today Chris Christie announced he will issue a directive to allow sports betting in New Jersey. And they say President Obama is slow to react in a crisis.

 

The former Senior VP for ticket sales for the NY Mets is suing co-owner Jeff Wilpon of discriminating against her because she was having a baby without being married. But really, what was she thinking? That kind of behavior should be reserved for the players

A new study links benzodiazepines like Xanax and Valium with dementia. Great, one more thing to feel anxious about.

Budweiser is apparently testing a new campaign to allow people to send vouchers for free Bud Light on Facebook. Cool, now when people get in heated arguments on threads, they can be drunk too.

 

Justin Bieber stripped down to his underwear during a NY Fashion Week event, to boos and some cheers. The cheers presumably were “Put it on, put it on, put it ALL back on.”

 

 

Wow. Client asks me for the latest flight of the day out of D.C. to her chosen destination. I suggest a flight at 729p. She says, great, but is there a later flight in case I miss it? #facepalm

 

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger Monday at his portrait unveiling in Sacramento. “I didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to do in office.” Everything or everyone?

A new wrinkle in time?

September 9, 2014

 

In Northern California, they are hunting a mountain lion who apparently injured a 6 year old boy on a popular hiking trail. Officials said the cougar ambushed the boy “as if he was prey.” Uh, AS IF?.

William and Kate are expecting another baby. Makes sense, now that Prince George is over a year old, they need another royal up in the middle of the night to keep Harry company.

 

Apple’s new $349 smart watch acts as a remote control, a mobile payment device, and a pulse monitor. But can it tell time?

Apparently a long-lost collection of Dr. Seuss stories is hitting the bookstores today. No doubt some in the younger generation are asking “Who’s Dr. Seuss?” And still others are asking “what’s a bookstore?”

Seems like only a few days ago that the biggest PR worry the #NFL had was dealing with the #MichaelSam “distraction.”

 

Since the #NFL tries to monetize everything how long until we have a Fantasy Football League with points scored based on suspensions and arrests?

 

Perhaps a bright spot in the whole #RayRice saga is that people are paying attention. Back when Lawrence Phillips beat up his ex-girlfriend and was dragging her down the stairs by her hair when someone interceded, Nebraska coach Tom Osborn let him play in the national championship, And three NFL teams, including the 49ers signed him, despite more off-field “troubles” including a second arrest (and a no contest plea) for assaulting a woman.

On a bright note for #NY sports the #RayRice situation has knocked Eli Manning and the Giants s*cking off the front page.

I feel somewhat sorry for Janay Palmer, who is now angry at the MEDIA for turning her life into a “horrible nightmare.” There’s a lot that s*cks (technical term) about being a public figure. But the media didn’t knock her out in that elevator.

Kentucky coach John Calipari is reportedly organizing a two-day scouting combine featuring Wildcat players only for NBA teams. Wonder if someone asked him if the combine would conflict with classes. (“Classes”?)

Nicole Kidman recently said that the celebrity hacked photos story is “very superficial” and “why that would even make news astounds me, but a lot of what makes the news astounds me. I do think we need to be talking about the violence in the world, in terms of Iraq, violence towards women, education and women, what’s happening in Afghanistan.” Well, she got her wish on the “violence towards women” part.

A preliminary investigation shows that Malaysia Airlines flight 17 was likely struck by multiple “high-energy objects from outside the aircraft,” which caused it to crash. What was their first clue?

A picture may not be worth a thousand words

September 8, 2014

But it sure can end an NFL career.

TMZ posted a video this morning of Ray Rice knocking his fiancee out in the elevator, which has provoked new outrage over Rice’s light punishment And Roger Goodell and the NFL claim they never saw it until now. I think I like “tainted supplement” better.

So yeah, makes perfect sense. The NFL reviews video tape in enough detail to know if someone is wearing the wrong brand of socks, but they claim they didn’t look at an available video involving alleged domestic violence. #priorities

Now that the Ray Rice video is out no doubt other NFL players will think seriously about changing their lives. Starting by taking surveillance cameras out of their homes?

“Fox & Friends” host co-host Brian Kilmeade said today that the lesson to be learned from the Ray Rice video was “take the stairs.” Scary thing is that a lot of NFL players probably think he is right.

Not sure when and if Ray Rice will return to the NFL. But wonder how long it will take the now former Ravens RB to get a call from “Celebrity Boxing.”

Wonder if Ray Rice’s wife knew he’d end up cut from the Ravens and suspended from the NFL if she’d have still married him?

All aboard the bus to hell. At least NY Giants fans don’t have to worry about Eli Manning being arrested for domestic violence. 1. Archie raised him right. 2. If Eli DID throw a punch at a woman, no doubt it would be intercepted.

Olive Garden just announced they will sell a ‘never-ending pasta pass’ for $100, which will allow buyers to eat as much of any of 150 pasta dishes they want once a day, every single day, between September 22 and November 9. Along with free breadsticks, soup and salad bar. Does the pass also come with a free diabetes test at the end?

 

Mets are basically eliminated from the postseason, the Yankees are getting close, and the Giants looked awful tonight. So in New York they’re thinking TGFR – “Thank God for The Raiders.”

Raiders players said there was no need to panic after their season-opening loss to the Jets. Makes sense, many Raiders fans were panicked BEFORE the season started.

Marin Cilic beat Kei Nishikori in Monday’s men’s singles final at the U.S. Open. And no doubt U.S television ratings were as great as a PGA tournament with neither Tiger, Phil or even Rory in contention.

The wooden Colossus roller coaster at Six Flags Magic Mountain was closed for renovation a few weeks ago, today it caught fire and partially collapsed. Now that’s a potential thrill ride..

 

More why there is no satire: Hartselle, Alabama, is the largest dry city in the state. And their mayor, Don Hall, has said he opposes the sale of booze within city limits. Last Friday Hall was arrested, driving back from a neighboring town, for alleged DUI….

It’s rather silly to have a magic number for a potential one-game postseason. This having been said, the #SFGiants magic number for a playoff spot is 15.

 

 

Weekend dreaming?

August 2, 2014

A Michigan woman says a lion at a small private zoo bit off the tip of her finger when she tried to pet it. She is upset. But perhaps not as upset as the lion who thought it was getting some serious human sushi.


Life’s different in Colorado with legalized marijuana. Assume the Rockies are still hard at work trying to take advantage of this weekend’s trade deadline.


Not only did the Dallas Cowboys send season-ticket holders their regular tickets this week, but they also included playoff tickets, including one for the NFC championship game. Well, to be fair, maybe the team figured it was the only way their fans would ever see playoff tickets.

Bummer. That Mideast cease-fire lasted only about as long as the Cubs’ yearly pennant hopes.

Roger Goodell today said that what while domestic violence is “not acceptable” the NFL’s two-game suspension of Ray Rice, is “consistent” with other punishments issued by the league, partly due to it being Rice’s 1st offense. Wonder how many games Goodell would have given O.J. Simpson if his acquittal on murder charges had happened while “the Juice” was active.


SFGiants promoted Jarrett Parker & Matt Duffy from Double A to majors. Should fit right in, line-up has been hitting like Double-A team.


Matt Duffy has already had a more productive #SFGiants career than Dan Uggla. (A hit, a HBP, an RBI, and no errors.)-


Why the San Antonio Spurs will never be America’s Team. They just signed Tony Parker to a contract extension through 2017-18. Where’s the drama? Where’s the angst? Where’s the nonstop ESPN speculation?


Golf.com reports that the PGA Tour has suspended Dustin Johnson for six months for cocaine use. Who says there’s no way to get golf headlines from Tiger Woods?

The KC Royals’ Jeremy Guthrie had an ERA over 10 in his last four starts. Today he was masterful against Oakland in a 1 to 0 shutout. It’s as if the the As temporarily became the SF Giants.

 


Obama today said Putin is ‘ignoring’ Russia’s long-term interests. Maybe the Russian President is trying to be declared an honorary GOP member of Congress.


Two American humanitarian workers who caught Ebola while caring for patients in Liberia are being brought to Atlanta for treatment. And although the disease can only be passed by direct contact with bodily fluids, apparently many other Americans are freaking out on social media. Including Donald Trump, tweeting “KEEP THEM OUT OF HERE.” Ah, for the days that he was just ignorant about birth certificates.


Six people were injured in Palo Alto yesterday when a driver in his 90s hit the gas instead of the brake and accelerated into a local cafe. I wonder how many of those calling for tighter regulations for elderly drivers also believe the government has no business tightening regulations for gun owners.

Say my name?

July 31, 2014

Assume Fenway Park  just got shipment of “Hi, My Name Is…” stickers for #RedSox clubhouse.

Two older men armed with a semi-automatic & a handgun held up a Chicago pharmacy for Viagra. Movie to be titled “Die Hard, the Final Sequel.

 

 

Bad news for the #SFGIants. No trades. Good news for the #SFGiants. The #Dodgers didn’t get Price.

 

Some strong teams got stronger today. Although before we engrave the trophies, remembering that maybe the best team I ever saw regularly was the 1993 #SFGiants.

The Oakland A’s traded #Cespedes to the #Redsox for Jon Lester.  Might  be time for Boston to reinforce the Green Monster.

 

Since #Cespedes is now a member of the #Redsox ESPN announcers will have to learn to pronounce his name for all those #Yankees games.

From Marc Ragovin;  “Dan Uggla made three errors in only four games with the Giants? “Amateur,” said the NY Mets’ Daniel Murphy.”

 

Israel and Gaza have accepted a 72-hour ceasefire. Okay, so it’s not much. But it’s longer than several celebrity marriages.

 

 

House Republicans cancelled a vote on their OWN immigration bill because they couldn’t agree among themselves about it Waiting to see how they blame this on Obama.

 

The House couldn’t get it together to vote on their own immigration bill but they found time for a resolution allowing Boehner to sue Obama. #priorities.

Whole Foods stock fell about 2% after the store reported lower than expected earnings. Guessing those expensive grocery prices from yesterday will look like bargains tomorrow.

Congress has headed off for a five-week summer “recess.” I’m confused, isn’t recess what you get at school as a break from actually learning something?

From T.C.  “86 year old Dodgers announcer Vin Scully has signed on for another year; his 66th.  Vinny doesn’t travel with the team for the East Coast trips anymore. The team is afraid he may have a senior moment and start looking for Ebbets Field.”

Ray Rice had an apologetic press conference today, using terms like ‘inexcusable” “biggest mistake of my life,” and talked about how he knew his 2 year old daughter would read about it some day. No idea if he really is contrite and if the domestic violence will be a “one-time incident,” but Rice does seem to be handling it better than the NFL, the Ravens and Stephen A. Smith.

And regarding the Ray Rice situation. It’s not about what he said, and yes, he said all the right things and maybe he gets it. And yes, maybe he and his now-wife were both drunk. Not the point. And PC is not the point. The point is that his light NFL suspension, and Stephen A Smith’s comments, send a message. A message of mitigating circumstances. And “mitigating circumstances” is NEVER the message you want to send women and potential abusers.

Priorities.

July 24, 2014

The NFL suspended Ravens RB Ray Rice two games for allegedly knocking his fiancee unconscious during a fight. Well, maybe it’s for the best, if instead of fighting the couple had just mellowed out with a joint he’d have been suspended at least four games.

 

So the NFL is making their policy on unnecessary violence clear: Assault another player in a game because of a paid bounty, you’re out for the year. Assault a woman in a fight because you’re mad at her, you’re out two games. #priorities

Chuck Knoblauch was scheduled to be inducted into the team’s hall-of-fame in August. But the ceremony was cancelled after the former Twins star was arrested last night for allegedly assaulting his ex-wife. If Knoblauch had played for the Minnesota Vikings would the induction still be on?

And then in the NFL minor leagues, aka the NCAA, here we go again.  This time it’s two University of Texas football players who’ve been charged with felony sexual assault. Maybe coaches could figure out something radical to keep these guys busy and out of trouble during the offseason. Like actually going to class?

Georgia dismissed defensive lineman Jonathan Taylor from the team following his arrest on aggravated assault and family violence charges, allegedly for choking and hitting his girlfriend. The sophomore, who started 10 games last year, was previously arrested in March for getting double payments on a check. If and when Taylor eventually declares for the draft, wonder how much of a “distraction” he’ll be considered..

McDonald’s is apparently sticking with their supplier in China., even after allegations the company processed tainted and expired meat. Maybe because there’s not enough meat in McD’s burgers to worry about?

U.S. airlines have resumed flights to Tel Aviv. So which is harder to believe. That commercial aircraft were actually in danger for 48 hours? Or that they are suddenly safe again now?

Giants and Dodgers play this weekend at A T and T Park .  LA  flew into town Wednesday and enjoyed an off-day while SF is playing Thursday and flew home from Philadelphia in the evening. So were the Giants good hosts who gave the Dodgers a list of all the hottest bars with town with all the strongest drinks?

On one page of the University of Texas Football media guide is a website link “www.texsaSports.com” Spelling. Another of those commie-pinko blue-state concepts.

Another of those “Darwin, missed it by that much” stories. In Gainesville, FL, an allegedly drunk man drove his truck into another car. Then he angrily got out to bang on the other driver’s window. She drove away. But he hadn’t put his own truck in park, and it then rolled over him. The man will recover and faces DUI and property damage charges. Your move, Arizona.

#BarryBonds turns 50 today. Maybe the #SFGiants could re-sign him? Guessing Bonds could still hit better than some of their lineup.

Hershey and Mars have both indicated concern about chocolate sales figures due to recent chocolate price increases because of higher cocoa and dairy costs. Why don’t they take a page from the airlines, and either shrink the candy sizes, or charge a wrapper fee?

ISIS has apparently.blown up the tomb of Jonah in Mosul, Iraq. Who’d ever thought we’d miss Saddam Hussein?

Opening Bench Day?

March 29, 2014

The LA Dodgers just placed Clayton Kershaw on the 15-day disabled list. with back issues. Up in SF, sympathetic Giants fans are thinking “Bummer, but don’t rush the poor guy, let him take at least a few months off to recover.”

 

The most exciting two minutes in sports may be the Kentucky Derby. But the longest two minutes in sports must be the fourth quarter of an NCAA March Madness game.

Florida Gators are surprisingly articulate in post-game interviews. Though to be fair, by college basketball standards they are mostly old men of 20-21.

Indicted Ravens RB Ray Rice has married his fiance. Let’s hope this wasn’t so she couldn’t testify against him.

(Alex Kaseberg says he heard the reception was a knockout.)

#AJMcCarron and #KatherineWebb are engaged. Has Brent Musberger already put in a request to cover the wedding?

 

Apparently some “influential” Republicans are working to draft Jeb Bush into the 2016 presidential race. Right, because it’s not a true banana republic until you have single dynasty rule on both sides?

Vin Scully, 86, calmly went on with the play-by-play during yesterday’s earthquake at Dodger Stadium. Although to be honest, at 86 everything usually shakes.

 

A USGS seismologist said the 5.1 LA quake has a 5% chance of being a foreshock of an even larger quake. At at CNN they are thinking, well, we hope not until they’ve identified debris from the Malaysian Air plane.

Rain and a 5.1 earthquake in California. East coast and midwest residents would call to express sympathy if they had time to put down their snow shovels.

ESPN headline “Kevin Ware transferring from Louisville to finish his career.” Well, at least they were honest and didn’t pretend it has anything to do with education.

So how many offers does George Takei have already for the starring role in the Leland Yee story?

(Yes, I know Takei is Japanese and Yee is Chinese. But they do look a lot a like. IMHO)

ImageImage

A hearing-impaired Texas couple was incensed at a note American Airlines put on their lost luggage for the delivery person “Please text, deaf and dumb.” And okay, I get it. Not terribly sensitive in the 21st century. But must admit as a child of the last century, in elementary school, “deaf and dumb” WAS how they described Helen Keller.

 

 

Now CNN is airing a report -“Flight 370, the final hours.” To be followed no doubt next week by a new report – “The Search for Flight 370, the interminable hours.”

From Gary Bachman,   “A travel company in Denmark is encouraging Danish couples to go on vacation and have sex to increase a shrinking population. Denmark should also consider getting an NBA team.”